“I’m more mystified by the decision to ramp up the coloring FX for this particular episode of Hägar the Horrible, as if to announce that the strip is transitioning from gag-a-day laffs into serious graphic-novel territory, and using mermaid sex as the load-bearing pillar with which to do it. Ichthyophilia and Götterdämmerung: The Lucky Eddie Story will be the talk of next year’s Eisner Awards. Admittedly, much of that talk will be the question ‘Why, WHY??’ and various forms of cursing, but that counts as talking.” –T Campbell

“‘Shady’s nuts container’ — They’re called pants, Slylock.” –Liam

“The incompetent lawyer and his red headed wife talking at length about something that happened off camera last year. This strip became Judge Parker so slowly that nobody even noticed.” –Where’s Rocky

“Don’t take astronomical information from a kid who finally notices that the sun is coming at 10 am.” –Cindy

“‘A shopper’? What’s that about? Is his name Angus McFurball? Wilford Bramble? Corpulent Kitty? I need all the facts!” –Flipper

“Dagwood having to be told there’s leftover spaghetti is the most out of character thing in this strip’s history.” –Patrick Duke, on Twitter

“It’s hard not to feel bad for Daisy in this scenario. Normally Dagwood would build an enormous sandwich, scattering food everywhere that a dog could easily pick up, but he’s managed to get every bit of that spaghetti in the microwave. Daisy’s only hope is that he’ll drop it, which is highly unlikely since he’ll probably pour it straight off the plate into his mouth.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Dennis has a red circle on his cheek indicating that he’s a child. Mrs. Wilson has a red circle on her cheek indicating she’s a woman. Mr. Wilson has a red circle on his nose indicating he’s a drunk. The Yokosuka MXY-7 Ohka suicide rocket rapidly approaching the house they’re in has a red circle on its wings, indicating that the Empire of Japan had one last hold-out pilot who really hates Dennis the Menace.” –Voshkod

“Humor?! Not on Blondie’s watch!” –Dan

“I can’t help but think that Loretta wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. The flashlight was meant to be a Fleshlight, and I dare not speculate what the other items were meant to be and how they would be used. Suffice to say their real kink is spite, and all these items will be used.” –Philip

“My therapist is great, Ed. She’s really helped me overcome my neediness and control issues. I’ve already set up an appointment for you.” –Merry Mirth

“Lucky Eddie is referring the the next level of evolution. Like the lungfish, the mermaid can already breathe air. She will venture onto land, burrow into muddy ground and encase herself in a mucous sheath that gradually hardens as she spends the dry season estivating. Hagar is correct that this will not be very rewarding for Eddie.” –Mantipath

“I’m not a psychologist but shutting all the lights save for one spotlight focused on Dennis might be somewhat enabling.” –Hibbleton

“The Mitchells’ entire circle of acquaintances is made up of dorky husbands and hot wives? Do they find these people on a special internet site?” –Ukulele Ike

“Only someone who lives in a huge suburban home would believe that the best way to deal with Chip’s clutter problem is by giving him more junk.” –BigTed

“This is a game changer for fans of this long-running strip, just in time for the centennial of Beau Geste next year. They have cell phones in Crock. The Lost Patrol apparently chooses to be lost since its members don’t want to use their cell phones. The brains behind the strip are now using it to remind us of the French invasion of Algeria in 1830, during the final days of Charles X’s rule, comparing that last Bourbon monarch to Macron. We’ve gone through the looking glass, people. Or cell phones could be forgotten and never referenced again in Crock. But for a moment a comic strip about the French Legion tried to be relevant.” –KMD

“At this point, we can agree that Crock is a subset of steampunk. Across the ocean in the same universe, Jay Gastby has a 4K television in an Art Deco casing and an electric Dusenberg with a touch screen. Ernest Hemingway is taking selfies of himself in Pamplona. And torrents are pirating Lady Chatterly’s Lover all around the world in a mocking of the censors.” –Tonio

“I think I’m going to spend the whole Easter holiday weekend working out what kind of engineer would show up at the Mitchell house in a name-tagged blazer and carrying a manilla folder, but also wearing loafers. Best I can come up with so far is genetic engineer, come to do his regular checkup on the secret government Super-Menace project.” –Schroduck

“I love that in Hi’s imagination, he’s literally just Slash. His long term plan to kidnap the Guns n Roses guitarist and steal his hat/identity was foiled by his age. Being 40-ish, he’s far too young to be a member of Guns n Roses.” –Schroduck

“‘There’s one thing I don’t regret,’ said Hi. ‘What?’ asked Lois. ‘Marrying you.’ Lois blushed and squeezed against him, taking comfort in his presence for as long as she could before the smell brought her back to the problem at hand. ‘There are two things I regret,’ she said. ‘What are they?’ asked Hi. ‘First, that we never had an intervention for Thirsty,’ Lois stood and walked over to their neighbor’s corpse, holding her nose as it released foul gasses into the air, ‘and second, that we gave him a house key.’” –Glod Glodsson

“As Yvonne and Hank sit among the newly dead, their particular brand of hell is hearing only new songs from an old favorite.” –Hibbleton

“Mud definitely thinks ‘intimate experience’ means he gets to fuck the drinks server.” –Dan

“It’s going to be interesting to see what happens to the US Civil War was these adorable moppets bring diseases with them that nobody will be prepared for. Covid-19, where the 19 means which century it first appears in.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“This is part of Mud’s ‘No Time For the Hits, I Got the Shits’ tour.” –nescio

“What I’ve learned from today’s installment of Daddy Daze is that, for some reason, you never see people dressing infants in black long sleeved (I want to say ‘turtleneck,’ but you have to nave a neck for that) shirts.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘Ba ba BA!’ ‘There are ways of writing dialogue between a verbal and a non-verbal character that provide adequate context for what the latter is saying without having the former mindlessly repeat what they say?’ ‘Ba ba ba ba.’ ‘I should look at C-3PO and R2-D2 for a good example?’ ‘Ba ba.’ ‘You’re going to sue for emancipation when you’re fourteen?’ –TheDiva

“I’m getting a ‘folk singer’s bodyguard’ vibe.” –Pozzo

“It’s clear what happened here. Mud Mountain Murphy took a dump of such proportions that he literally crapped out his trucker’s personality and all that was left was an emotionless but suavely dressed shell, like Agent Smith in The Matrix.” –Chance

“While Dennis’ eventual downfall will be his hubris, the prosecution at the UN tribunal for his many crimes will also be aided greatly by the accurate, timestamped and collated records of his lifetime of misdeeds kept by Amazon.” –Philip

“Leroy looks absolutely gutted that someone gave him a sarcastic answer complete with a prop. That’s my thing, he thinks. If anyone can do it, who even am I?” –pugfuggly

“I said I wanted a phone where I could talk all day and never have to charge the battery. I don’t know why I said that; I hate everyone and really don’t like talking much unless it’s to belittle you. Anyway, I traded in your iPhone 14 for this Bakelite rotary model. Fuck you. Your turn.” –Voshkod

“Isn’t that David Letterman after the transporter combined him with Paul Shaffer in that Star Trek: Voyager episode ‘Shafferman?’” –Garrison Skunk

“In March all red-blooded American men are required by law to at least pretend to be experts on college basketball, but Paul’s one-upping everyone else by going full paternal with it. No longer content with just one biological son, Paul will daddily daze the entire NCAA. Chew on that, people who say single-parent homes aren’t a danger to society!” –jroggs

“Snuffy gives the parson an orange can cozy rather than an orange hat or orange jacket because of the harsh economic realities of Hootin Holler: when parson Tuttle gets mistaken for a bear and shot, he’ll be there to scoop up the collection can, and he wants to make sure it isn’t shot up, too.” –gardenornament

“I found this group called ‘Not One More Vet.’ Turns out there are way too many veterinarians! You should retire!” –Peanut Gallery

“If Dr. Ed really is depressed it’s his nephew’s fault, you know. That kid was the one all bummed out about the job. Then he talks to Ed, and Ed catches depression. What if Ed infects Estelle? Oh, she’d be a huge downer. They need to find that nephew! You have to kill the head vampire to cure everyone else!” –made of wince

“The way the Doc is yelling and Bil is crying I figure ‘flu’ is their agreed upon code word for gonorrhea.” –Hibbleton

“I’m sorry that Daddy has the flu, kid, but the facts that Saint Cuthbert of Lindisfarne had a son in violation of his monastic vows, that his son still somehow lives over 1300 hundred years later, that his son has studied to become a doctor and a general practitioner, and that his son actually does his own medical billing instead of sending you down the hall to talk to the ‘ladies in billing,’ is the real story. We truly do live in a time of miracles.” –Voshkod

“I’m more worried that Keanes’ doctor makes him undress for a flu test. Next week’s panels are drawn by the courtroom sketch artist.” –Donny Ferguson, on Twitter

“Oh come on. There’s no way five Milford players know who Kareem is. At least one of them would say something idiotic like ‘Gordon from Sesame Street! What the hell?’” –KMD

“Ok kids, for starters, the most important thing in basketball is to be 7′2″. What? How can you expect me to help you if you aren’t willing to even do that? Goodbye, losers!” –cheech wizard

“Say what you will about Gil Thorp, but the strip is rendering its readers the ultimate daily comics service: the opportunity to be smug about knowing a celebrity the youngs do not. This will sustain their righteous snit for weeks, I tell you!” –pastordan

“Uh oh. Looks like Dr. Ed has mistaken a bottle of horse liniment for beer.” –Charterstoned

“Oh, that’s his LEG. I thought he was holding a burlap bag in the same hand as his beer for some reason. To put the cat in? Before pitching it in the river? There are easier ways to quit the profession, Dr. Ed!” –Twinkles the Elf

“I know that Ed is talking to his cat, but I think it would be pretty funny if it were revealed that he worships a pantheon of ancient Norse gods. I mean, something is going to get in the way of his relationship with Estelle, can’t it be something fun?” –pugfuggly

“‘Going physically to work to ask for the current day off‘ joins ‘dating Beetle’ in Incomprehensible Shit Miss Buxley Does.” –nescio

“Maybe coffee is the solution to every plugger problem. You just have to be creative enough to see it. Just imagine how much happier that rhino man would have been if instead of taking his TV to the pawn shop, he had thrown a cup of hot coffee into the face of the pawn broker, robbing him while the poor beast-man recoiled from second and third degrees burns to the face! Look out world! Pluggers have hot coffee, an increasing lack of regard for the welfare of others and lots of problems that need solving!” –Lionheart

“Snuffy and Barlow have been bitten by paralyzing spiders, who even know are fashioning their bodies into bait traps for flies.” –Schroduck

“Coffee? Coffee? Boy, the Duct Tape people and the makers of Bisquick are going to be absolutely furious when they see this.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Remember what I did last time you were here? I moved the furniture into awkward positions, and now we have to live with it!” –BigTed

“The ‘living it up’ version of this cruise seems to be having a drink on the balcony lounge chair while wearing jorts, so I am going to assume that no one involved with this creative team has much experience with ‘living it up.’” –Drew Funk