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Your COTW momentarily, but first, an absolutely delightful bit of Worthiana from faithful reader John Small Berries! He writes:

While cleaning out my office, I ran across the attached panel of Ian Cameron trying to relax at home. I’m not sure when it was originally published, but it’s at least several years old (my wife snagged a photocopy from the clipping on her mother’s refrigerator back in the first half of the last decade; no idea how long it had been hanging there). I thought you, and perhaps the rest of the Comics Curmudgeon readers, might be at least mildly amused by this bygone glimpse of life in Casa Chinbeard.

One of the interesting things about the soap opera strips is that there are literally thousands of them out there, but they’re almost entirely uncollected and thus inaccessible to any but the most patient soul willing to whirl through the microfilm at their local library. Who knows what awesome Aldo-level storylines delighted Mary Worth readers in the ’70s or ’80s, only to vanish in the mists of time? All we have is are brief, contextless glimpses like this. We can tell, for instance, that sometime in the 1990s or thereabouts Professor Cameron liked to “adjust” his “attitude” by sitting in front of the TV with a bowl of potato chips, a sizable amount of ranch dressing, and three tall glasses of scotch, and that in the middle of one such episode, he was interrupted by a rude buzzing, possibly a result of someone pressing a marital aid against his condo unit’s door. Beyond that, we know nothing.

Anyway, on to your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Yeah, right now Wilbur, like a small child on Christmas morning, is infatuated with Kurt, but in about a week it’ll all be sandwich, sandwich, sandwich.” –Baka Gaijin

And your runners up! Very AMUSING.

“I was just down at the medical center, and I picked up this donated organ no-one wanted! Now let me pour out some clear serum for a refreshing drink!” –nomuse

“A trip through Devil’s Pass sounded interesting, so naturally it wasn’t. MT has a strange gift that seems to require a new word. I choose ‘borifying.'” –Poteet

“When he talks to his wife, Mark Trail has a vacant expression of joy that is the hallmark of a man whose marriage is built on a foundation of pharmaceuticals and denial.” –NoahSnark

“Thank goodness for Apartment 3-G, where Mr. Margo’s Dad remains under the adorable delusion that his daughter can love.” –Black Drazon

“They use to tell me I was so green … that my head looked like even more like an avocado.” –Red Greenback

“I love how that conversation ends. Cherry saying ‘I love you’ and that’s it. Mark had probably already hung up. Or better, he slammed the phone down as soon as he heard Cherry’s tongue curl.” –Roto13

“It does look like even the pigeons are just sort of ‘Yeah, whatever, buddy, just keep the birdseed coming.'” –Baron Bizarre

“‘Kurt agreed to the paternity test? Will he confess that he knew the results all along?’ I can just imagine how that conversation will go. Wilbur: ‘Well, it cost us $2,000, but now we know that I’m not your father.’ Kurt: ‘Yes. I knew all along. I’ve been intentionally manipulating you.’ Wilbur: ‘This won’t change our relationship at all.'” –AndyL

“Peter should just go to a costume store if he needs his silly pajamas to fight crime and rent one. Then he can spend three weeks’ worth of panels worrying about WHAT IF the clerk SUSPECTS that he might be THE REAL SPIDER-MAN and isn’t that a suspicious request for a CREDIT CARD that has his REAL-LIFE NAME AS PETER PARKER on it, that somebody might use to trace his SECRET IDENTITY? Meanwhile the actual clerk finds Peter to be a dull, slightly fidgety guy who’ll get the speediest possible service because he’s acting kind of creepy so let’s take his money and get him out of here.” –Chip Whittle

“How bad is Dawn’s tea? Apparently Mary has to use both hands just to force it down her own throat.” –Digger

“Good Lord. It’s like they wrote ‘3 P.M.: Frolic’ in their day planners.” –commodorejohn

“I’m a little insulted by the snarky ridicule directed towards Wilbur and Kurt, to be honest. Sounds like someone didn’t get enough con-artist/fake-father bonding time growing up” –Krazy Kat

“There is nothing more alluring to high school girls than helping the school janitor clean up the gym after a game. Maybe he will let you sniff the used towels.” –Rusty

“Dithers’ heel isn’t on Dagwood’s throat; it’s on his bowtie, the source of his power.” –Jonn

“Yes, Beetle, it is always a mistake to embark on a journey into the strange, crisp world of uniform cosplay.” –skullcrusherjones

“But check out that look on Mr. Kessler’s face; he’s staring directly at the comic strip audience with a knowing look in his eyes, as if to say ‘You and I, my friends, we know better, don’t we? We know that just last night I was entertaining a couple of nubile young coeds and then things got a little, shall we say, Freak-Ay! You can find more details at http://www.kinkymisterkessler.com. All major credit cards accepted.'” –Jeff Soesbe (yeff)

“Kurt’s gone! And he made his bed first! THE BASTARD!!!” –BowToTheBard

“Mr. Wilbur Weston really ought to be arrested for felonious lack of self-respect. Is there any doubt what caused young Mr. Evans to slink away in the middle of the night? One is not surprised that he would prefer the precarious life of a ne’er-do-well to having such a sad case as a role model. He certainly could see the impact on his putative half-sister. Miss Weston has no friends, no life, and apparently no ambition beyond being elected princess at the Santa Royale eggplant festival.” –Fashion Police

“It’s Kurt. He’s gone! But for some reason you’re still here, Dawn.” –Judas Peckerwood

“Ah … Major Kessler of the SS. The Mossad lost you in Argentina. Milford … in a clown suit … pure evil genius! Check and mate, sir!” –Sans Sense

“I get a strong impression that the MW artist really enjoyed drafting class and would be much happier if he were allowed to draw Wilbur, Dawn, and the rest of the crew as nice, pleasing, regular cuboids in a cabinet oblique projection. Cross-hatching could be employed as an indicator of strong emotion, when required. The white shorts today are a clear sign of a bitter, frustrated man lashing out the only way he knows how.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

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Your COTW momentarily, but first, some funny comics-related pictures from READERS LIKE YOU! The first set comes from faithful reader Karina, who attended a Mardi Gras party thrown by friends:

They have a themed costume party every year — and this year the theme was “The Funny Pages.” So what’s a red-blooded conservation-minded girl to do? Dress like Mark Trail, despite knowing full well that no one would ever know who she was dressed as. I even made a giant punching fist, crudely fashioned from cardboard and masking tape!

I’m sorry to report that I did NOT win the award for best costume — but as that went to the guy in the bloody shirt wielding a machete and dressed as “Not Me” from the Family Circus I am totally ok about it.

Next! You might remember the pics sent by faithful reader Kattack of her trip to Monterey’s Dennis the Menace Playground. Faithful reader Jordon was inspired by them to take his own four sons to this sacred spot where, in his words, they decided to “show Dennis what Menacing is all about!”

Those are some rambunctious boys you’ve got there, Jordon! Let’s hope Child Protective Services doesn’t read this blog.

And now: your comment of the week!

“I imagine that whenever Peter Parker forgets his camera, he’ll hold an invisible camera near his face and make a clicking motion with his finger before exclaiming, ‘Oh no! I forgot my camera at the hotel!'” –survivor

And the runners up! Very funny!

“This actually looks like the idealized plugger version of a ventriloquist act, featuring a dummy who does not backsass his elders and instead is curious to learn about How Things Used To Be.” –Joe Blevins

“What is Gunther even doing over there flailing near the dancers? He’s probably well aware that he can’t dance and likely never volunteered, and he doesn’t seem the sort to act like a jackass in front of everyone. Maybe he was violently pushed backwards and is now about to crash into the ensemble. However, this impossible trio of male ballet dancers are too method to let an incoming nerd break their poise.” –Taquelli

“I had a decent joke about Grossie’s bust all ready, but the more I typed, the more hateful and insulting it became. The funniest reaction you can have with Crock is, as usual, to just hate yourself for even laying eyes on it.” –turingcub

“I think Crankshaft’s main contribution to the garden club is his role in giving the ladies the incentive they need to do the hard work of tilling the soil, by fantasizing that they are digging his grave.” –seismic-2

“When you’re large you’re in charge! And when your testicles are visible, then you are also in charge!” –Lame Caulfield

“Dick Tracy, one month from now: ‘You were under a lot of stress at the concert. How about a nice relaxing day at the races?’ [Cut to villains implanting small thermonuclear device into what we infer is probably a horse]” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Aww, Dolly said ‘anfem’ instead of ‘anthem!’ Isn’t that cute, and by cute I mean makes me want to punch a baby?” –Violet

“Before I read the caption, I thought the Keane Kids were watching The Lawrence Welk Show. Seriously. The black-and-white image, the rounded men in sweater vests with 50s haircuts, the musical notes rising up. Too bad the circle cuts off our view of the rabbit ears on top of the set. What sport could that trio have possibly competed in? Shuffleboard? Yodeling?” –Dondi’s Dad

“The only event the Keane kids are allowed to watch is the 25m sweatsuit run. Also it looks like Mom and Dad turned the hue on the television down so they don’t start asking questions about skin colours.” –It’s time to pay the price

“I would also like to note that Family Circus is flirting with Herb and Jamaal-style non-specificity. Granted, they really should take it the full way: ‘Oh, I like that song related to their political union. I hope they achieve high ranks in other competitions’. That way, this comic will stay fresh after the demise of both the Olympic games, sports in general, and the concept of the nation-state.” –Tiako

“The Keane Kids don’t really watch the Olympics, just VHS recordings of every American gold medal win since 1984. Dolly probably just doesn’t recognize her own anthem through the haze of decade-old magnetic tape.” –BananaSam

“Meanwhile, Kurt has fallen afoul of the Weston household’s obsessive penny-pinching. Write it down if you have to: Store-brand denture cream is a rip-off.” –Walker of Dog

“I’m not convinced that’s really Wilbur and a computer in the second panel. First of all, the ‘computer monitor’ is hovering about three feet above the desk, but more importantly, HE HAS NO LEGS! I’m guessing he put a half-complete Wilbur doll in front of a wall hanging, realizing his children are too dumb to notice, and sneaked off for a Craigslist ‘Casual Encounter.'” –Yanni

“Zip it, Dad!! Or button it! Or whatever it is you do to keep that toupee from falling off your head!” –Hibbleton

“The answer to the Jumble is obvious, as always: COCAINE.” –Poewar

“Toots, meanwhile, is modeling the latest from the Department of Homeland Security, fashions designed to reflect the latest terror threat level. As the situation becomes graver, more and more stripes become Alarmed Aqua.” –boojum

“I like how that raptor is hunching up as it casts a baleful eye towards the reader. ‘Oh god,’ it’s thinking, ‘the paparazzi.'” –Anonymous

“Hmmm…these rapids didn’t cure you. Maybe I should try to punching your heart again. After all, chest hair is just the heart’s beard.” –skullcrusherjones

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Your COTW shortly, but first, a note on the health of Judge Parker artist Eduardo Barreto: It appears that while he is very ill, things may be more hopeful than previously indicated, and the syndicate is not planning on replacing him any time soon, but will rather give him time to get better and see if he’s still up to it. So, we will have to endure some replacement artists, but hopefully he will be up and better before too long. Fingers crossed!

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I love how Mrs. Drunky McDrunkerson is willing to give every relevant detail about Kurt, but NOT ONE DETAIL MORE! ‘I’m willing to (hic) answer 10 or 11 questions and fill in some background detail, but that’s IT! (hic)'” –Patrick

And the extremely funny runners up!

“I love how Jeffy is smugly shitting himself. ‘You think peanut butter is bad, bitch? We’re sharing a room tonight!'” –It’s time to pay the price

“Mark Tail, Panel 2: ‘Judge Parker does gratuitous ass shots all the time, so why can’t I?'” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“To be fair, Trixie is 55 years old now and has never been continent. It’d be pissing me off by that point as well.” –TruthOfAngels

“I really like Spiderman this week, learning about all the Marvel™ characters who live in New York. Mainly what I’m learning is that they’re all pricks.” –JD

“My brain pretty much freezes up at attempting to comprehend how unsophisticated someone would have to be to regard Mark Trail as a fancy city dweller.” –Violet

“Now you and your friend here can pack up and go back to your fancy city, what with all the ’lectricity and indoor plummin’ and laws against marryin’ your sisters.” –Perky Bird

“For today’s matinee, the part of Helen Clark will be played by David Bowie. The part of the whiskey will be played by Orange Tang.” –willethompson

“I think her first questions will be, ‘How come Drew cheated on me and will he ever come back?’ and ‘Do I look hot in purple?'” –Gabacho

“I think Wilbur needs to get a refund from Glamour Shots.” –Gump Worsley

“Meanwhile, in MT, why is Mark checking his watch? ‘Uh oh, it’s half past Wednesday. Time to wrap up this plot line with a few good hits and get back to ignoring my wife.'” –Nekrotzar

“The squirrels have learned of violence! We are doomed!” –The Eric

“On another note, the only interesting characters in this strip are alleged alcoholics. What happened to us? When did a glamorous and acceptable social tradition morph into a crippling social stigma?” –trey le parc

“Given that Helen Clark is now head of the United Nations Development Programme, this Mary Worth storyline could have global ramifications … which would be a nice change from storylines even the characters in the strip don’t appear to particularly care about.” –Meg

“Also, what’s up with the giant Q-Tips on Dawn’s table? I’m starting to wonder just how far she’ll go to get a sample of Kurt’s DNA.” –Phila

“I don’t know who you think you are, young lady, but unless you’re calling about providing me with more delicious transmission fluid, please leave me alone.” –Edgy DC

“Considering we see no web strand being released in panel 2 in conjunction with the ‘Thwip!’ effect, it can only be assumed that it’s the sound of Spider-Man’s sciatica acting up in typical form.” –tb4000

“Moy certainly has her cliched portrait-of-a-lifelong-drunk hiccups down, but I’m disappointed Giella hasn’t followed suit by giving this old crow a gin-blossomed nose, a few ethereal circles floating around her head, and a jauntily-cocked lampshade for a hat. Perhaps you can afford to retain visual dignity when you make your Bloody Marys with the actual blood of the working class.” –frippy

“Senior Plugger Dog Man got a crick in his neck by licking his own balls for four straight hours.” –Ned Ryerson

“The best part of the throwaway panels of Blondie: Dagwood staring blankly into space as he wonders what the hell he just bought. This changes the entire strip from ‘Herb’s hidden feelings’ to ‘Herb frantically tries to undo the florist’s brainwashing by smashing through Dagwood’s wall of cognitive dissonance.'” –Dragon of Life

“Is that a little shot glass built into the handset? You know, for added strength during difficult conversations.” –MattF

“Dawn has been yelled at so hard it’s literally given her a concussion! Next three strips: Dawn pukes on the couch and has an emotional crisis about cleaning it up.” –Trae Dorn

“My initial assumption was that she was dead, but then I remembered that I wasn’t reading Funky Winkerbean, but Crankshaft, where boundless cruelty comes from other people, rather than from the universe itself.” –Captain Thunder

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• Advertise your t-shirts here: Find out more about the BlogAds t-shirt hive! Connect with young adults eager to sport your shirts! Reaching a tremendously expansive audience at a very low cost, the BlogAds T-Shirt Hive is comprised of a well-rounded set of over 30 social media elite blogs, who speak to a young hip male and female audience of clothing enthusiasts. These readers are seeking back to school threads, everyday wear and tear shirts, and any clothes that are stylish or humorous.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.