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Well, sprinting through three days of comics in only a few hours was fun, but now I must wrap up the evening’s activities with your comments of the week. I promise not to leave you to your own devices for so long until Christmas! But before we hit the week’s top comments, I have a little merch plugging to do. Faithful reader Dingo writes:

I was the grand prize winner of the Canada Great Outdoors contest and won a weeklong fishing trip to northwest Ontario for me and a guest. I took my father. The highlight is that we weren’t just fishing; we were fishing with Babe Winkelman and it was being videotaped for one of his shows. The episode will air sometime in January. I, of course, could not pass up the opportunity to wear Curmudgeon clothing.

That’s an official Gail Martin t-shirt, which Dingo himself designed (see here for the backstory). And now the shirt (and its creator!) will be on the TV! How exciting!

But perhaps even more exciting is … the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Wow, Rusty … Sassy stopped publishing, like, 14 years ago. Someone should break it to the kid. Gently.” –UnknownEric

And the runners up! Super thrilling!

“WTF is up with Toby’s face? Was ‘the trip to Scotland’ really code for ‘went for a facelift by a barber in Tijuana’?” –Farley’s Revenge

“West View Singles are highly heteronormative. Your options are ‘man seeking a woman,’ ‘woman seeking a man,’ ‘depressed loser seeking a cancer patient,’ or ‘widow/er seeking misery.’ There is no ‘person seeking cancer’ as everybody there is soon to get it anyway. But are we to believe there are no gay people in West View? Maybe they all buggered off, figuring that if ‘gay’ has any connection to ‘happy,’ they’d best get out of town.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“What could possibly be on (the habitually-unemployed) Ziggy’s resume? ‘Hostility Sponge (1968 – present). Duties include soaking up the anger and resentment of my fellow human beings, essentially acting as a sentient Sham-Wow for the negativity and alienation of the modern world. Special skills include not killing myself.'” –Joe Blevins

“The very next panel from Apartment 3-G better be Margo rising from her coffin. I will accept nothing less.” –spazmodeas

“Dagwood is a slender man who consumes 3000+ calorie sandwiches in one sitting. I’m thinking there was more than just caffeine in his regular coffee.” –skullcrusherjones

“My fingernails are made of … tightly matted hair? Like on my head? Excuse me, I have to go throw up like 50,000 times.” –Chyron HR

“All I can say about today’s Mark Trail is that one’s pupils should never, ever be larger one’s ears.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Jittery?? Haha. Not me. Why, what have you heard? Blondie was fine when I left. Did something happen to her? What? I’m just wondering. How do you get blood stains out of a carpet? No reason. Hey, who’s got a sandwich? Haha. Jittery. Me. Ha.” –Buddy Hopkins: Music Cartoons

“Isn’t ‘fishing trip’ code for ‘birds-and-bees talk’? I’m looking forward to several weeks of Mark explaining to Rusty that when a man loves a woman very much, he goes off into the woods to punch bearded men in the face.” –Dagger

“YES, RUSTY, IT IS TIME. LET US THINK ABOUT A FISHING TRIP. CLOSE YOUR EYES, COME WITH ME. YOU WILL SEE WHAT I SEE. DO YOU SEE THE STREAMS? STEP INTO THEM. DO YOU SEE THE GIANT FISH? SO FREE, SO PURE, THEIR LIVES ENTWINED WITH THE — SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THE — THE HOUSES, THE OTTERS DIVING IN, THE ONES WHO STAND BY AND ONLY FILM, LEFT IN THEIR…THEIR WASTE..LEFT BY THE…humans…The…ACK!..the, (PUNCH), yes, the free, fish…es….the PURE ONES, THE (so much waste, so much wasted waste) FLOATING ONES! DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE? NO….Facial…hair….
YOU WILL SEE I WILL SHOW YOU!
oh, don’t cry, don’t cry your face is smooth like the otter.

YOUR FACE WILL ALWAYS BE OF THE OTTER!

oh dear god what have i done” –peabody

“After weeks of shameless plot-stretch to wrap up the tired saga of Delilah and Lawrence, we are now being treated to an extra bonus week of ‘Mary and Toeby talk about what already happened.’ I’d definitely read ‘Hey, Toeby, remember when you got your identity stolen from a phishing scam?’ ‘Mary, can we not talk about that?’ ‘But it was hilarious!'” –hogenmogen

“I pity those background characters [in Apartment 3-G], too, but at least they orbit bathed in the dark heat from Margo’s sun. Imagine what it must be like for, say, the blond guy who carpools with Dagwood.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Mary, I understand that you’re a-hundred-and-eighty-seven and all, but a black woolen jumper and a blouse buttoned up to your eyebrows still seems like an odd choice for a pool party. Were your ski mask and nun’s habit at the cleaners?” –Violet

“I was lucky. I had a PRO as a coach. Unlike you who had a negligent high school whistle-sucking moron whose inept coaching killed a promising career and created a stalker. Oh, too soon?” –Johnny Knuckles

“Keep working, young man. I like your arm! When you ruin it just like Marty did, I’ll buy it from you for a buck and put it in my display case.” –Steve S

“Also, Elwood’s cosplay interests are just bikini-clad ESPer warriors and not horrifying empty-eyed pig fursuits.” –commodorejohn

“‘Literally and figuratively’ is about as sexually explicit as I want my Mary Worth to be. It’s like I’m a teenager again and my mother is explaining the physical mechanics of intercourse in code so as not to embarrass herself by mentioning any actual body parts. I bet Tobey says ‘bajingo.'” –StoutHearted

“I thought it might be uncomfortable for Francis to lie on his stomach on the beach without a towel, until I realized he needed to dig a hole in the sand to hide his erection from Momma.” –Patrick

“Momma should just be glad that her sons are attracted to women with normal-shaped bodies. From the looks of the older generation, I’m pretty sure ‘Hobbs’ was shortened from ‘Hobbits’ by an immigration official on Ellis Island.” –BigTed

“Lois has to put little hearts and XOXO’s on her note, so she’ll be sure Hi knows she wants to have sex. Otherwise, Hi might say, ‘Start a family? How does one ‘start’ a family? Do you use a key? Or do you pull a cord, like on a lawnmower? And what do they do once you start them? So many questions! I think I’ll just go trim the hedges instead.'” –Perky Bird

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Very long-term readers will remember that, only a few weeks before my 2005 wedding, I had to upgrade the software that runs my site to stop up a security hole, which for boring technical reasons meant I also had to redesign the site, which resulted in a design with tiny print and endless white space that hurt everybody’s eyes. Then not long after I got back from my honeymoon, I found a freely available design template, hacked it inexpertly to make it work for me, threw it up on the site, and pretty much haven’t thought about it since.

But! I have at last decided to invest a little back into this thing that I spend so much time looking at, and will pay someone actually money to redesign it! Could that someone be you? Maybe, if you’re a professional Web designer, and know about WordPress and stuff! Check out the request for proposals and let me know if you think you’d be a good fit.

One thing you’ll note in that RFP is that I’m thinking (just thinking, mind you) of changing the comments so that they’re threaded — in other words, so that each comment has a “reply” button, and pressing it will result in your comment showing up indented immediately under the previous comment, rather than at the end of the list. I’m very interested to hear from frequent commentors on whether you think this would make it easier/more fun to have conversations, or whether it would disrupt the flow of things.

And I’m very interested in hearing from anyone — frequent commentors, occasional commentors, and lurkers alike — on what they’d like to see in the redesign, though do check out that RFP first to make sure it isn’t something I’ve already decided to do, and keep in mind that I’ll just be tweaking the design of the site, not its content. I can’t promise to implement everybody’s ideas, but I do want to hear them. Sound off in the comments or email me, whichever you prefer.

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Ha ha! You all make fun of my frequent vacations from the site, but did you know that last week I went on vacation and still blogged? Truth! I wasn’t able to keep up with the comments as much as I usually do, though, so it may be that some gems passed me by. Nevertheless, I have assembled what I believe to be a pretty hilarious list.

Oh! Wait! But! First there are items, of course. First off is an intriguing note from Bob Weber, Jr., the man behind Slylock Fox! He wants to let all of you guys know that he’s selling original Slylock art; so, if there are particular strips you’re interested in, or if you just want all the strips you can handle for your Reeky Rat shrine, contact him at slylockart@yahoo.com.

And! Faithful reader =Jym= sends us this pic to remind us that there can be love in the terrifying ruins haunted by the damned souls in the Winkerverse:

Perhaps returned hero/shattered shell of a man Wally Winkerbean will be interested, now that he’s single again!

And finally, faithful reader Greg offers this not wholly safe for work look at what that terrifying painting over at Charley’s apartment really looked like.

UPDATE: Guys, I totally almost forgot to add that Dean Booth, longtime faithful reader and proprietor of the always awesome Dean’s Comic Booth, is one of the finalists in this week’s New Yorker cartoon caption contest! Go forth and vote! “My caption isn’t particularly funny, but I think that was the key to my success,” he notes.

And now, without further ado … your comment of the week!

“‘Remember, Margo? You weren’t happy.’ Oh yeah, that narrows things down a lot.” –Sue D. Nymme

And the runners up!

“I hope that isn’t a clean diaper. It’s the least the grandmothers deserve for not leaving Marvin exposed on a mountainside the day he was born.” –Comrade Denny

“Like all taken-in strays, Tommy Libonate will, within minutes, get into a fight with the family dog and urinate all over the tent. God bless him.” –teddytoad

“Also, for the office pool: If no one has taken ‘Hitman in Orange, covered in toxic waste, grows facial hair; Mark punches him,’ then I’d like to call it.” –boojum

“Discussion question: is the idea that Delilah needs her hubby to help her get a book on music theory vanity-published more or less retrograde than the idea that all marital problems can be solved with babies?” –commodorejohn

“Del should just leave musical theory alone — I mean, what the hell did it ever do to her? I think a slim volume of fashion advice is the way to go: The All One-Color-Uniform — Looks Like A Sassy Jumpsuit, Even When It Isn’t! Three pages, easy, and sure to prompt a heap o’ podcasts and twatting.” –curlyfries

“While it’s a generally acknowledged fact that most of the Island of Doctor Moreau-esque abominations that populate the Plugger universe have three paws in the grave, it nonetheless seems needlessly cruel of the comparatively spry movie ticket lady to taunt our elderly protagonist about the fact that he may well not live to see how Paul Blart: Mall Cop turns out.” –Violet

“[Luann] is annoying me because of the way it has completely inverted itself over the years. It started out as a strip about a regular teen girl with a crush on a guy way out of her league, a jerk older brother, and sporadic battles with the ‘in-crowd’ cheerleader-types. Now her brother is Mr. Sensitive, getting wild non-sex from a model with a brain. TJ went from being the only funny guy to being the guy you want to shoot the most. Luann is so loaded with dates that she can’t even choose which beau to not-screw. And I’m feeling sorry for Tiffany. Maybe she’ll hook up with Dirk in a spinoff strip called The Outcasts Who Dare to Have Sex.” –Hogenmogen

“So how detailed did Margo get? Did she tell him to make multiple copies and to roll it up first? Or to remove the staples?” –un malpaso

“I love the chipmunk. I think as far as Jack Elrod is concerned the characters are interchangeable mannequins saying ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ to one another and the real strip is about giant animal closeups. Why does he do this? Are his giant animals not quite good enough for him to be a wildlife illustrator? Is there really no work for someone who can draw individually charismatic chipmunks but can only distinguish between people through hair colour and placement?” –Aviatrix

“I think the chipmunk is named ‘Mark.’ It’s a reasonably common name, and who would you rather talk to? Mark Trail, or a cute little chipmunk? The choice is clear.” –Victor Von

“I’m not sure what Mary is serving Toby, but based on the paleness of the contents of both bowl and pitcher, Mary has taken that old adage to heart: If life gives you a bowl of peeled boiled potatoes, make potato-ade.” –Perky Bird

“I was going to say that the scene in A3G seems awfully jovial for a ‘my boyfriend’s corpse is in an unrecoverable location on the other side of the world’ party, but I suppose it’s not as big a deal as it sounds: as a Buddhist, Eric will be reincarnated, and as a male character in A3G, no one will notice a difference.” –Rachel K

“A medieval city with Gothic architecture and cobblestone streets? No wonder Toby and the professor fell in love all over again — it reminded them of a time when a homely but prominent old man could steal away a child bride and no one would think twice.” -BigTed

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.