Metapost: Again with the late-night comments of the week
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Those of you who are up this late deserve your comment of the week without preamble, so here it is:
“Today’s Marvin is confusing. When did he begin disliking the smell of his own poop?” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
And the hilarious runners-up!
“Oh please God, let Dr. Kelly die! It’s time for A3G to graduate to the women’s prison serial it’s always aspired to be.” –Judas Peckerwood
“So now Tommie is trapped in the bathroom and desperately searching through the medicine cabinet, apparently in the belief that she can fight off a violent drug addict in withdrawal with a nail file. We know someone’s going to come through the door, but who? Tommie’s creepy boyfriend, who will probably talk the attacker to sleep? Lu Ann, who will get herself and Tommie both killed so we spend the next six weeks watching Margo find new roommates? Or Margo herself, who, let’s face it, is the only one in an A3G universe who can possibly do any good in this situation? Personally I’m cheering for Lu Ann, mostly because I want to hear what Margo will say at the double funeral.” –flodnak
“‘A child who can make his way to a military surplus store, purchase a gas mask, and correctly fit it to himself, is a child who can change his own diaper, or for preference not shit himself in the first place’ has been my long-standing policy.” –One-eyed Wolfdog
“You’re wrong, Ditto. Color is not making you any funnier.” –Digger
“If you can see an obvious, direct connection between a pseudo-holiday established to raise awareness and physically battling spandex-clad man-children, then, congratulations, you’re qualified to write for Spider-Man. Either that or you’re on some powerful hallucinogens.” –Alan’s Addiction
“Miss Buxley’s just doing her thing, hanging out in a featureless void, sitting at her completely empty desk wearing pearls and a black cocktail dress, when Zero shows up with a miniature treasure chest full of dirt. The army is really different than I imagined.” –Patrick
“In a better comic, this plot would evolve into a wacky ‘Ransom of Red Chief’ story, with our hapless criminals slowly worn down by the predations of their ‘victim.’ Instead, they’ll blather while Rusty manages to look both wide-eyed and glum — but I can still fantasize that they’ll suddenly become aware of the horrific creepiness of his face, and strangle him with his kerchief.” –buckyswife
“I wish they’d reimagine A3G based on today’s strip. They could have a crime fighting trio. The Professor: Master of the criminal mind, planning, and cooking. ‘Here’s the plan. Unlock the door. You go high and you go low and I’ll go make some spanokopita.’ The New Dolly Madison, and her scrub brush of retribution. ‘Unhand her or feel the wrath of the original American Revolution.’ The Claw and her optional umbrella fighting stick (keys sold separately). ‘I have a question, Mule … Should I disembowel you with my umbrella or just use my lacquered fingernails? Hmmm. Why not both.'” –These Strange Worlds
“Do you think God will think less of me if I pray for Margo to whack Dr. Joe with that umbrella?” –Natalie
“I think the Prof is just using tried and true tactics. After witnessing first hand the devastating effects of German shock troops (hell, the Prof. probably saw the bashi-bazouk torture his homeland) he knows the power of the disorganized but overwhelming initial onslaught. Send in the Margo! Tommie as collateral damage is a risk … no, not really. You can send in Ruby later on to clean up. At least she’s dressed for it.” –Big Sims
“I learned years ago, in Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask), that men sometimes think about baseball to keep from coming too soon and disappointing their lady love. I’m just now finding out that thinking about baseball in connection with Crankshaft’s joyless mug is enough to keep me from having any sort of erotic thoughts for three or four hours.” –Muffaroo
“JP: I hope skinny ties are making a comeback, ’cause I got a closet full of them. Both Sams have rather fetching ones on today, or both Randys, or whatever.” –Sans Sense
“My door could use a good scrubbin’! It’s a good thing no one can see into my head to observe how miserably stilted and lifeless my internal monologue is! Entertainment value and realism are for saints and fools!” –Dragon of Life
“Feel free to ask me about other parts of Luann’s backstory. Apparantly, I have no shame!” –Chyron HR
“I find the dead, soulless eyes of Junior Snuffy Smith’s friend disturbing. It’s like you can see through the back of his head, to the back of the newspaper, to the back of his soul, which he doesn’t have, because he’s a god-forsaken cartoon character in a cartoon that was never funny. Ever.” –ksilver
“If Adrian has any lingering doubts about Ted’s double life, the Sansabelt pants and the tucked-in polo shirt should set her straight.” –membargo
“Add ‘visible panty lines’ to Tedward’s list of crimes.” –scamps
“As usual, Marvin’s irony is heavy-handed: We can see from the title panel that the other members of the family, right down to the pets, are coked out of their skulls.” –Howlin’ Wolf
“I think the implication in that last panel is that when wood becomes unavailable, Mark would like to see bats made out of bunnies.” –BigTed
“My god, I hate Marvin. I am going to break into Tom Armstrong’s house and take a giant dump on his Xerox machine in a form of juvenile, yet mildly poetic, protest.” –Jesse C
“You know, it might be a little late in the telling, but Jeffy looks a little like a terrier dog who’s being taken to be neutered. On the ride home I figure all their expressions are will be different.” –kippetje2000
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