“Ten years has passed in Funky Winkerbean, and there are people still alive?” –captainswift
“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Herb and Jamaal smirk like that while making love; smirking is pretty much their default facial expression. But it’s so much more unsettling in this context.” –Kumquat
“Hey, did you hear the latest news about the man in those popular books about magic? Let’s do that.” –Lizardmess
“Mystery o’ the day: Why does Curtis trust his hair care to a sentient, anthropomorphic baguette? Shouldn’t that barber be peeking out of the top of a grocery bag in a 1970s romantic comedy?” –Joe Blevins
“So … anyone else notice the similarity between Dick Tracy’s haunted house and, say, Emily Dickinson’s old house, with a shutter askew? Because I could not stop for death/ he kindly stopped for me/ I blew my brains out ’cause my loan/ put me in bankruptcy.” –Luprand
“It’s good to see Toni, TJ, and Brad working together to make a quality haunted house for the neighborhood children, but the thing that’s really gonna scare them is seeing Toni, TJ, and Brad re-enacting the penultimate scene from Y Tu Mama Tambien.” –Jamus The Bartender
“I can’t wait until next week, when Sam has to explain to Trudi and Keith that he had an opportunity to save their winery but couldn’t follow through on it. ‘You don’t understand,’ he’ll say, his chest hair bristling with grief. ‘The only way out was if I had sex. Sex with a woman.’” –Trilobite
“Marty Moon isn’t calling for Gil Thorp to be sacked because he knows that, if the subject of competence at one’s job were to be brought up, somebody would point out that he seems not to have noticed that he’s using two microphones.” –monkey.dave
“Why would you call anyone on your team ‘The Soph’ anyway? Hasn’t someone in their second year earned the right to be called by their name? Do they ALL have nicknames? Would Coach refer to Cully by saying ‘Hey, the Accidental Killer’s having a good game today’?” –Mooncattie
“I’d like to believe that TDIET is exhibiting a rare but welcome foray into the political arena by siding with the environmental movement and using his bully pulpit of the comics page to admonish corporate polluters who are dumping carbon and toxins into the atmosphere with no remorse. But I’m afraid the sad reality is that Al Scaduto is pissed that he can’t smoke in his office anymore.” –Bobdog
“I was like you once. Believing that RMMD was ‘going’ somewhere. That ‘stuff’ would ‘happen’. That garages would be cleaned. What has it got me? Bitter tears and ash. It is often said a picture is worth a thousand words. The problem with RMMD is that none of them are verbs.” –SmartPeopleOnIce
“I don’t know what’s most disturbing: the naked lust on Eric’s face as he looks at paintings in the first panel, that Alan thinks a camel hair jacket is appropriate attire for a junkie hophead, or that I can tell Alan and Eric apart.” –RaJ
“Y’know, Eric, I really need some money. And it’s occurred to me that you seem to have a lot of it. Do you know what else I’ve noticed? You and I really kind of look alike. A couple of minor changes, and I could even pass for you. But that would be crazy, right? By the way, what’s your Social Security number? Oh, no reason. Hey, look, a metal pipe! C-C-C-C-R-R-R-ACK!!!!!!!” –BigTed
“I used to worry that I was turning into my dad. Now I’m turning into Ted Forth.” –Gabacho
