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A fair number of you are probably going to the Small Press Expo in Bethesda next weekend. Perhaps more of you will be going once you find out that you’ll be able to see me there! Unlike MoCCA earlier this year, I won’t just be wandering around aimlessly; at 12:30 pm on Saturday, October 13, I’ll be moderating a panel called “Nemo’s Wake: Comic Stripping Today.” The panelists will be Bill Griffith (Zippy the Pinhead), Nicholas Gurewitch (The Perry Bible Fellowship), Keith Knight (The K Chronicles), and Ted Rall (Search and Destroy), and I’ll be trying to get them to discuss (according to the panel description) “the strengths and struggles of drawing personal work in the comic strip form today, in venues ranging from the web to alternative newsweeklies to the traditional daily comics page,” though I may mostly focus on getting them to talk smack about Beetle Bailey. Don’t miss it! And even if you don’t feel like going to this panel, I will in fact be wandering around aimlessly for most of the rest of that day, so be on the lookout if you want to chat me up!

On a related note, is anyone going to be driving either to or from SPX from or to the Baltimore area on Saturday, October 13? Would you be willing to give me a ride? If so, e-mail me! I’m more than happy to take the train down, so this panel doesn’t depend on your generosity, but wouldn’t it be nice to help me save a bit of time and a few bucks in return for an hour or so in close quarters with my sparkling generosity and wit? No serial killers, please.

On a totally unrelated note … hey, young people of today! Are you on the Facebook? Would you like to associate your love for my fine site with whatever sort of social networking hullabaloo you young people do on the Facebook? Well, now there’s a Comics Curmudgeon Facebook group! I didn’t create it, but I did join it, and (assuming you have a Facebook account) so should you! And then the magic will happen.

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This week’s comment of the week is brought to you by … you! Well, more specifically, by one of you.

“I’m pretty sure Eric and Nora were actually discussing Family Matters. I’m guessing the conversation went something like this: ‘Say, did Urkel have a catchphrase?’ ‘What do you mean, Eric?’ ‘I mean, all one-note black sitcom stars have always had a catchphrase, right? You know, something like Whatchoo Talkin’ ’Bout or Dy-No-Mite! So Urkel MUST have had one, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what it was.’ ‘Hmmm, maybe his inimitable voice was a sort of a play on the idea of a catchphrase?’ ‘No, he must have had … Margo — I didn’t hear you arrive!'” –jakester

But that’s not all! There are also hilarious runners-up!

“I don’t know what’s more delicious about today’s strip: the fact that Margo’s thought balloon is so stilted, or the fact that Tim labels his journal like he’s a 12-year-old girl.” –King Folderol

“I’m glad Eric has learned the lesson that was drummed into me while living in Manhattan: Never, ever, lock your front door.” –Mad Dog Rackham

“Based on the placement of the Washington Monument in the background, I would guess Gretchen is about to run up the steps of the national headquarters of the Daughters of the American Revolution and plant her bomb. What in the heck does she have against them? ‘I’ll teach them to have a display of Amish quilts!'” –smacky

“I think that the Mary Worth is symbolism. It symbolizes Drew being a huge prick. Who was thinking with his dick. And probably has to masturbate from now on.” –Lord-z

“Just so we can keep this never-ending series of angry departure scenes going, I’d like to see the ghostly figure of Drew’s super-ego separate itself from the rest of the good doctor, make come cutting remark (‘Really, Cory, you are such a douche!’) and then speed off in some little phantom car. Next week: Super-ego catches up with Dawn and cons her into some meaningless revenge sex.” –JamesinMaine

“Dawn found me and Vera at… Y’know, Dad, you’re not making this any easier by snuggling with Mary while I’m talking. No, seriously, knock it off. You’re skeevin’ me out.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“I get the summer activities that are portrayed here: surfing, volleyball and suntanning. What I don’t get is why Veronica’s activity — smoking giant doobies and sniffing glue while wearing a Zorro mask — is limited to summer. It seems like that could be fun all year long.” –Darkefang

“Panel two [of Gil Thorp]: If anyone can tell me what the hell is going on here I will give them a dollar.” –Moon Mullins

“What’s more striking to me about Shoe is the omenous half-shading of the Perfesser in the second panel. He looks like he should be saying, ‘How many would the mayor serve … you know, if I slaughtered him and roasted his flesh.'” –JPool

“When I read about the new, ‘timeless’ semi-retirement mode of FBoFW, I assumed it would just start being like the other comics on the page where nobody ever ages or changes or graduates from high school. I didn’t expect this kind of bizarre, disorienting, Bil-Keane-meets-Billy-Pilgrim experiment in nonlinear narrative.” –Hip Young Urban Plugger

“Mary Worth may move at a glacial pace but it befits the cold, cool iciness of what should be her heart.” –Dingo

“Remember this moment. It’s the moment where Drew realizes that he will never have an erection again for the rest of his life.” –Eleusis

“MT: I think (*shudder*) I can explain the blue ducklings. Okay — see the color of Homer’s shirt? That’s right. He’s the father. This … explains … so much.” –Gold-Digging Nanny

“The Bum Boat’s decor looks like a hurricane blew a strip-mall Red Lobster all the way back to 1977, where it crashed directly into some dentist’s waiting room. So basically, I can’t think of a better place for Drew to sit and watch his dad mack on Mary Worth while moaning about losing both Dawn and Vera in the space of a single afternoon.” –Trilobite

Also! Faithful reader Godzooky offers this vision: Cassandra Cat takes Manhattan! Or, slightly more accurately, his Cassandra Cat mug takes its place within view of the Manhattan Bridge.

More Bob Weber, Jr.-designed Cassandra Cat items are available from the Comics Curmudgeon store, including, God help me, thongs. I’ve only received pics of mugs and babies so far, so I’m definitely looking for some visions of Curmudgeon readers in some of the clothing that they’ve purchased! But not the thongs. Please, God, not the thongs.

And hey! What week would be complete without a little love for our advertisers?

• Sister Mary Dracula: Writer-artist (and faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader) Gerry Mooney is exposing the truth and ripping the lid off Catholic school education for big laffs! He wants you to know his target is neither Catholics or nuns if it will get you to buy his comic book. Chapter One of a 100-page graphic novel that will be finished eventually.
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Hey everyone, do you know what time it is? That’s right … it’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK TIME!

“‘I came east to help cousin Lu Ann, but I had selfish reasons too, Aristotle.’ Yikes. I just realized the guy’s name really is ‘Aristotle.’ I thought Ruby was just being sarcastic. You know, like: My life in Dallas wasn’t going so well, Einstein. I needed a change of scene, Copernicus. Maybe permanently, assface.” –SmartPeopleOnIce

And the runners-up — extra hilarious, this week.

“It occurs to me that Slylock Fox isn’t so much doing good detective work here as being the douchebag who shouts out how the magician performs his trick. ‘Count Weirdly said that his assistant had dirty ears, and pulled out a shiny quarter to prove it. Slylock suspects the quarter didn’t come from behind the assistant’s ear. How did Weirdly do it?'” –posiduck

“Dawn can seek ultimate revenge by seducing Vera’s alcoholic brother and spending his vast fortune. Or she can just walk over and throw lye in Vera’s face. It’s her call.” –Anonymous

“Prof. Aristotle comes out of hiding to take the weak member of the herd. ‘Hey, you must be feeling lonely and far from home … let me cull you.'” –Frank Parsnip

“That ‘child,’ with its grim, resigned expression and a head ringed with the same dark matter as Les’s, looks less like an adopted orphan or even the product of an ill-advised spree of sperm shopping on the part of Bull, but rather a long-lost elder sister of Les’s who’s been run through a dryer until she’s suitable to play out these two men’s forbidden, androgenetic fantasies. She looks like she’s already calculating the best time to slip outside for a smoke.” –SecretMargo

“I strongly suspect that Mr. Wilson has, on a regular but gradual basis for the past decade or so, spiked his wife’s baked goods, inevitably mooched by Dennis, with either strong sedatives or hallucinogens, or both. Thus why he’s not at all worked up about Dennis and smilingly shoos him out. George Wilson is finally master of his own fate, and if the price to pay is the neighbor kid turning into a spaced out lei-wearing stoner before he’s even 10, so be it.” –Andrew Leal

“If ever there were a couple that did not suggest a sexual attraction or emotional connection, it would be these two. And in a world populated with Garys, Alans, and whatever-the-hell-his-name-is-Margo-is-about-to-kills, the standard for this sort of thing is already pretty darn low.” –A New Day

“I hate to break it to Dawn, but in the first panel Drew’s paper has her rock beat.” –Inspector Dim

“[Drew]’s one tactical opportunity to avoid severe damage to his effeminate features is to run behind Vera and let her take the pulping while he makes a frenzied break for the car. Elsewise he may as well drop into a fetal position and shriek until help arrives, half anticipating the usual shamed look on his father’s face upon seeing his son having been pummeled by a berserk waif in a pink blouse.” –Sunny Mel Blatherscythe

“Nobody needs saving from rain and floods like aquatic waterfowl do.” –Jym

“Men and women are totally different, but their crotches look exactly the same.” –Lisa Simpson

“I think this Sunday’s MT should be on ducks. Ordinary ducks like Shirley, but with unusual and little-known facts like ‘Ducks can swim’ and ‘Ducks can have more than one nest’ and ‘There are too many damn ducks in the world already, and they’re infringing on corporate development, so kill all the ducks you see.'” –Concrete Queen

“YEAH BABY! A TECHNOLOGY JOKE! Technology’s always funny, right? I’m going to make a comic where it’s nothing but a young person saying ‘iPod’ to an older person all day. And I’ll win the hearts of millions.” –Cheeky Wee Monkeys

“Drew, on the other hand, might be in for a rough time. There’s actually some hidden potential for drama in this story, as Mary will have to decide whether her sexless ‘relationship’ with his dad should affect Drew’s punishment for the crime of Not Taking Advice. Will being Jeff’s son let Drew get out of this with nothing worse than losing both his incredibly easy co-ed girlfriend and his ponytailed office-drone inamorata and sitting through the mandatory finger-pointing parade of platitudes? Or will the silver-haired she-beast demand more from him?” –Trilobite

I should add that I have no idea which comic the next-to-last comment, about technology jokes, is referring to, but it’s really pretty much always a timely observation.

Also! Many of you have successfully purchased Bob Weber Jr.-designed Cassandra Cat items from the Comics Curmudgeon store. But do any of you look as adorable in them as the daughter of faithful reader Klipper?

“My wife and I discussed whether the Cassandra Cat onesie would be appropriate for our 10-month old daughter, Zoe. Unfortunately this was after I’d bought it. Ultimately we decided that she has no idea what she’s wearing — if she had her druthers she’d run around naked and covered in poo — and this can’t be any worse than the multitude of pink kittens and bunnies and crap that she has to wear every time we visit the relative that bought her the outfit. And if she does somehow understand it, the Cassandra logo will only influence her to become a strong woman who cuts the balls off disrespectful or otherwise predatory men … and I’m ok with that.” He adds that he also bought an Right Fist O’ Justice magnet, “suitable for all ages.”

Anyway, tons of you purchased Cassandrawear, and while surely none of you look as cute as little Zoe, you should totally send in your pictures anyway.

Finally, would a week be complete if we didn’t give didn’t give thanks to our advertisers? Definitely not!

• Treat yourself!: Shana Logic loves Joshreads fans because they are independent, rockin’, super nice art lovers! That’s why they know you’ll love Shana Logic’s hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more!
• Learn to draw the human figure: Acclaimed anatomy training course! Used by leading entertainment studios worldwide in 60 countries — the likes of LucasFilm, ILM, RedStorm, Midway, Blizzard. Learn to draw the human figure from your mind for illustration, comic books, manga, anime, game design, and all art fields.
• Bright is back! Check out 12th Street Station, an all-new adventure with Nathaniel Bright.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.