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OK, kids, I’ve strung you along for long enough. It’s time to reveal to the world the first round of entries in the Self-Clubbing Tyler Lookalike Contest! Here’s the glorious panel you’re all trying to match, for reference:

Let’s start with an entry from a reader who likes to be known as Dr. Jeff Corey. He sent several variations on his picture; this is the one I liked best.

Dr. Jeff’s lovely and talented wife, Lucy Van Pelt, added this Brynna Antenna cameo.

(You might remember Lucy as the winner of the Finger Quotin’ Margo contest. This is one family that just can’t get enough of the comics character imitatin’!)

But back to Tyler. Next up is faithful reader Harold. “I think a few neighbors are probably wondering why I had my 10-year-old nephew taking pictures of me whacking myself in the head with an oak tree branch,” he says.

The inimitable Dean Booth was too shy to put his own face and bashed head on camera. But he did create a Self-Clubbing Tyler Action Figure, which you’d better believe is going to hit stores everywhere soon! Here he is in mint condition in his original packaging:

And this is what the playset looks like when you get it all put together:

And, oh yeah, did we mention that it has mechanical parts that really work? You’d better believe it, buddy!

Still more pics are available on Dean’s Web page, including a good one of the back of the action figure’s bloody head.

Faithful reader Johnny Cat uses special effects to capture Tyler’s dead, dead eyes:

Faithful reader Kevin created a Tron-like virtual world wherein his self-clubbing took place:

And finally, here’s faithful reader Lee’s entry. “That orb is actually a basketball, a really dirty basketball,” he notes.

Now, unless you’re one of these people, you’re almost certainly sitting there thinking to yourself, “Aw, crap! This is awesome and fun! Why didn’t I enter in time?” Well, it’s not too late. You’ve got another week or so to get in on the action! So get crackin’ and send those pics in soon!

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I generally don’t talk here about Pibgorn, the fantasy Web-only comic created by 9 Chickweed Lane artist Brooke McEldowney, but I know a lot of you follow it, and were probably very surprised to go to its site at Comics.com today and find that it had vanished. Nicola McEldowney, Brooke’s daughter and spokeswoman, e-mailed me to ask if I’d pass on this note from her father to interested parties:

With United Media’s announcement that “Pibgorn” is to be discontinued, I have been inundated with e-mail, much of it agitated and distressed. I’m very sorry you had to get the news in this rather dispassionate way. That I may answer your central question forthwith, I’ve composed this response for everyone — so please forgive me if I seem impersonal.

“PIBGORN” WILL CONTINUE.

There. That is the main thing I wanted to say. Comics.com, however, will, as they have announced, no longer be the source. Nothing dramatic happened, really. I simply came to feel that the editorial needs of comics.com and those of “Pibgorn” were becoming more and more divergent and incompatible. For this reason I asked to be released from my contract with United Media in order to secure a new online home for “Pibgorn.” United Media most graciously, and reluctantly, agreed. In short order I hope to get Pib back up and flying.

Meanwhile, you have seen the most current installments of “Pibgorn.” Hold that thought. We’ll be back.

All best wishes, and thanks so very much for writing.

Brooke McEldowney
9 Chickweed Lane
and
Pibgorn

So, see, it’s not like Peter Pan, where you have to save Tinkerbell by declaring loudly and continuously that you do believe in fairies; all you have to do get Pib back is to sit back and wait.

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In the 48 hours or so since he first waltzed onto Milford High’s practice diamond, it’s become clear that Otha “Clambake” Yancey is a true hero for our age. Let’s review some of his classic utterances:

• “You’re pulling your head, son.”
• “Lock your eyes on one hole, get set, and swing.”
• “And keep doing it!”
• “Everyone calls me Clambake.”

The question quickly became: Should Clambake be commemorated by items of clothing that sport a logo that Josh quickly threw together using royalty-free clip art and offered for sale at the Comics Curmudgeon store? Frankly, to ask this question is to know the answer.

Yes! You can now display this baffling, ludicrous artwork on numerous items that you can purchase at CafePress! (Including the baseball jersey type shirts, natch.) If you’re sick of everyone calling you Otha and want to start going by Clambake, well, these are the shirts for you.

Meanwhile, there’s been some controversy over a statement I made about our good Clambake earlier today. Is Mr. Yancey indeed black, as I posited? I admit that, because this is Gil Thorp we’re talking about, subtle features like skin color can be hard to figure out. My own wife called me from work today to argue that he’s supposed to be a crusty old New Englander (which would ground the “Clambake” nickname somewhere near to sanity) and that “Otha” is some kind of Maineification of “Arthur.”

I base my assertion on being a longtime student of the subtleties of Gil Thorp artwork; plus, when Clambake was first introduced to us last week, he was seen talking to his son:

I admit that Yancey Junior is kind of racially indeterminate as well to the untrained eye, but the jagged nimbus around his head is one of the two styles of hair in this feature that generally indicates African-American status (the other, cornrows, being way too edgy for this harried buppie). Plus, Clambake pretty much exudes that vibe, associated with nice old black men in too many movies and books to count, of “Here’s a nice old black man who’s going to help you white people solve your problems with his folk wisdom/instinctive understanding of human nature/magical powers, but isn’t going to do anything to make you uncomfortable, like have sex with white women or vote or speak in that damn ‘izzle’ language.” But I could of course be wrong. Maybe Clambake’s racial background is unimportant. Maybe it’s just important that we call him “Clambake.”

Speaking of insanity and Gil Thorp, I’ve gotten quite a few good entries in the Self-Clubbing Tyler contest. I’ll probably be posting the first batch of pics by Friday, but you should absolutely send yours in today!