Without further ado: this week’s comments-of-the-almost-week.
“The way I remember the story, Raju, is that the ugly duckling turns into a swan. In this telling, the duckling turns into Henry Kissinger in a pineapple shirt.” –Dingo
“Few Pluggers tend to be young, perhaps because the young still have, generally, a modicum of hope.” –Fred P.
On Beetle Bailey: “It looks like the tanks in the strip are WW2 Shermans, the helmets are the ‘Steel Pot’ variety that was replaced in 1983, and the rifles are M-1 Garands which went away in the ’50s. The sandbags look current, at least.” –Frank Drackman
“Today’s They’ll Do it Every Time made me really depressed for some reason. More so than usual, I mean.” –Cafangdra
“I suppose MW’s depiction of stalkers is no less out of whack than anything else in there. The strange glaring colors of men’s suits and marital blankets … the way that most clothes seem to be made by Martians who have had clothes described to them but have never actually seen them … the migration of Toby’s ponytail to improbable parts of her skull …” –Kate
“Seeing Aldo’s funeral would be entertaining but I submit that even moreso would be the Interventioneers ceremoniously placing one of those highly-visible homemade fatality markers at the site where Aldo went ultimate roadside. Considering the oft-mentioned guardrail-less-ness of that stretch of road, it might be the first time anybody from Charterstone did something that actually helped someone.” –Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
“But really, how does it logically follow that Molly’s refined skills and abilities preclude her from any beehive vandalism? If anything, Molly’s little show might lead Hoyt to conclude that Molly must be stealing his honey, refining it, and selling it in darling little decorative jars at some roadside stand.” –Ned Ryerson
“If this post-facto rationalization session (which has ground Mary Worth to a dialog-ridden halt for over a week) doesn’t ultimately lead to a guilty suicide, an orgiastic blood-letting amongst the co-conspirators, or a reanimated corpse revenge tale, I will demand my money back.” –DaveyK
“Wilbur is silent because he is desperately afraid that anything he says might be misconstrued as making advances towards Mary Worth and he knows that the penalty for that would be death.” –LaughingOnTheInside
“Peter Parker has become as apathetic about being a photographer as Spider-Man is about fighting super villains. He has the proportionate apathy of a spider.” –Aldos Huxley
“Oh for pity’s sake. The only way they could have made the resolution to the Aldo storyline more boring is…actually, there’s no way it could be more boring.” –Opus
“I’m beginning to have my doubts about Raju. At first, I thought he was going to be some crazy foreigner who got pulled into all of this, and he’d turn out to be like the TAs in EE labs, but now I’m suspecting he’s some kind of evil mastermind, bent on world domination. Which would still be pretty awesome, except his plan seems to be to woo every female in wherever-the-heckville with inventory control and fruity t-shirts. Actually, I’ve changed my mind. Taking over the world with Hawaiian t-shirts (no matter how fruity) is badass. Hands down, the coolest world domination scheme ever. It’d never work, but it’s so awesome, I’m going to keep hoping it will.” –The G-Man
“I feel certain any hospital would welcome Molly, the Emotional-Assistance Bear. Come on! She’s helped me get over my crippling fear of intimacy, and she’s not even my bear!” –Summerhouse
“People, the hilariousness of your comments increases exponentially with my drunkenness.” –Grendell
Also! Just in time for the lovable story of lovable Molly the lovable bear to come to a seeming end … why not keep the memories alive with your terminally adorable Molly the bear t-shirt? No, for reals:
