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My fiancée is in the sex ed biz, and this week she returned from a visit to a health center north of the Mason-Dixon line with this intriguing artifact.

OK, so I understand that there are very few male characters in Luann who aren’t either related to Luann or involved in some sort of tiresome romantic situation with her. And obviously her make-out session with Aaron marks all this as outside the continuity of the strip. But still, she’s talking about dealing with sexual pressure with … TJ? TJ the schemer? TJ the scammer? TJ, whose every appearance in the strip heralds the inevitable entanglement of Brad in some awful web of deceit? The TJ I know would be turning this situation to his advantage and be attempting to shepherd Luann into the back seat of his car by the end of the pamphlet.

On the other hand, the TJ I know is also white. At first, I thought that perhaps I had never seen him in a Sunday strip before; but you know, it’s pretty obvious that Delta is black even in the dailies. Maybe it’s one of those parallel universe things: evil Spock has a beard, good Spock is clean shaven; evil TJ is white, good TJ is black.

My only comment on the content of this handout is that I think a “Waiting Is Sexy” t-shirt may send out some mixed messages. Waiting is many things, many of them positive, but “sexy” is not one of them, particularly if you’re a teenager. I can barely handle the three minutes of waiting involved in microwaving a frozen pizza pocket, and I’m 30. Also, I find it interesting that Greg Evans borrowed a trope from Mark Trail and featured some animal-closeup panels while humans converse offstage. Presumably this is because the only thing duller than drawing two people walking and talking is drawing two people walking and talking about not having sex.

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During a recent visit to a D.C.-area old folks’ home, I found an abandoned Style section from the Washington Post in the billiards room. In addition to the traditional “What’s In-What’s Out” New Year’s feature (and half of the “in” items I’ve never heard of, including “The Maybach”, “Move that bus!”, and “Annasophia Robb”, thus proving conclusively that I am not “in”), it also included the following cartoon, which sort of does my job for me. I figured I’d reproduce it here to tide you over since I’m being such a slacker about posting stuff this week.

I should have new comics up by this evening, but I make no promises. If you’re getting desperate for comics-derived larfs, I urge you to check out these poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

Update: Also funny: Subdivided We Stand’s recap of the last few weeks of Mary Worth.

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To everyone still tuning in eager for his or her comics fix, I must say unto you: sorry. I’ll be on the road for a few days and not up for posting. New comics starting next Tuesday.

Update Wed. 12/29: OK, see, when I said “New comics starting next Tuesday,” what I meant was that the first new comic I do will be from Tuesday’s newspaper. In keeping with traditionally lax IRTCSYDHT practice, that comic may not be posted until tonight or tomorrow. Suck it up, people.