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I know it’s been a while, but I do have some winners in my Pick A More Appropriate Poem For This Herb and Jamaal Comic contest. First off, the multitalented Dalton provides a lovely bit of blank verse that he composed itself. It makes significantly more sense now:

I also have to give Jim Treacher credit (or, as they say in Herb and Jamaal, “props”) for creating a version that makes even less sense than the original, but is still funnier:

I’m just little weirded out that they both used the same font.

It’s been a while since I’ve done Unnerving Search Term watch, so here’s a big batch: “Hagar the Horrible insurance,” “couldn’t think of anything funny zing,” “asians in doonesbury comics of 1988,” “george soros james bond supervillain,” “what is a passive aggressor,” “skewered tits google search,” “comic strip beetle bailey stupid jerk” (that’s telling ’em!), “12 gauge mp3 and donkey butt,” “crystal meth poem” (“I think that I shall never see/A poem as lovely as a big brown paper bag full of sweet, sweet meth”), “self reliance sue for alimony gaining freedom” (um, I hope you found another, more helpful site), “rex morgan nude,” “comic strip yogurt priceless,” and “jack elrod shouting.” Also, some linkbacks go to salieri, Bill Peschel, My Brilliant Mistakes, winneroftheSAT, the archenemy blog, and Cyber Chocolate. And finally, apologies to the poor soul who somehow came here from Allsexwebcams.com, and who was no doubt very, very disappointed.

Oh, also! Very important! Because I’ve been so slack in posting, I almost didn’t have a chance to point you to the Baltimore Sun’s new comic ballot! Go to http://www.baltimoresun.com/newcomics and vote for five comics that you might want to see in the Sun (and, by extension, in IRTCSYDHT). I don’t have any guidance for you this time, except that I like Get Fuzzy. But you should clearly pick whatever you want to see mocked. Today (Tuesday, November 16) is the last day for voting, so hurry!

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The moment I’ve been dreading is here. In today’s Baltimore Sun was an announcement that the comics section will soon be getting an “extreme makeover.” Accompanying the article was a ballot in which readers were asked to choose their ten favorite current comics. This is clearly an attempt to force a Sophie’s Choice-style dilemma on loyal comics readers before the powers that be down on Calvert Street decide to impose Marvin or Baby Blues or some such on us, or, even worse, cut the comics section in half.

Now, in my expert opinion, it’s the soap opera strips — my precious, precious soap opera strips — that are in biggest danger of elimination, because, despite my best efforts to impress the depth of their horrible hilarity onto the uncomprehending minds of the populace at large, most of those minds remain uncomprehending. So, this is the moment where we find out if IRTCSYDHT has the power to unleash an army of rabid followers out onto the world. Here’s what I want you to do:

1. Go to the Sun’s comics ballot page (I’ll put a link at the end of this post).
2. Vote for Apartment 3-G, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, The Phantom, Prince Valiant, and Rex Morgan, M.D. (along with four others of your choice; I suggest you include the Lockhorns).
3. If you happen to live in the Baltimore area and have a copy of today’s Sun, cut out the actual physical paper ballot from the paper and send it through the actual physical mail (not forgetting the actual physical stamp).

That link for the voting is http://www.baltimoresun.com/comicssurvey. I have no qualms about this electronic ballot stuffing. After the presidential election, I now know that such desperate measures are necessary to preserve all that’s good about our way of life. Of course, if blog rants actually affected voting patterns, then the presidential election might have turned out differently.

Update: While I was in the middle of writing this post, ever-faithful reader Sue Trowbridge indicated in a comment on a previous post that she had already followed these steps unprompted by me, winning her the first-ever IRTCSYDHT Golden Tommy award. If there’s anyone out there with the skills, equipment, and free time to craft a trophy shaped like everyone’s favorite Mary Worth-based meth dealer, we could give this entirely notional award some physical substance. Also, I should say hello to the many, many of you who have arrived here from Jimtreacher.com.

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OK, first I was too stressed about the election to write funny things about the comics. Then I was too depressed about the results to write funny things about the comics.

I’m somewhat over it now, so there will be a rash of new comics coming tonight. If you want to know how I feel about the election, click here. Feel free to heatedly agree or disagree with me, but I ask that you keep all political diatribe comments attached to this post. Any others will be removed by me at my arbitrary whim.