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Mary Worth, 3/21/26

“My heart … my delicate heart … too weak to fly to see my injured beloved. Time to heal myself using the best technique known to man: taking a pill and then tucking into an enormous bowl of hearty chili. It’s an old family recipe: you cook a pound and a half of ground beef, add barbecue sauce and exactly two beans, and serve!”

Blondie, 3/21/26

“Yeah, it turns out that every day of the year — every moment, really — is a crushing, depressing chore. But at least there’s death waiting for us, right? At least there’s death. [suddenly remembers he’s a character in a long-running comic strip who hasn’t aged appreciably in nearly a century] oh NO”

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Hi and Lois, 3/10/26

Not sure why everyone in this panel, including the lady behind the ticket desk, looks so God-damned smug. There’s no reason for it, not least because, if Ditto is operating the spotlight, it’s definitely not going to be on Britney. Based on what I’ve seen of his overall competence, they’ll be lucky if it’s even pointing at the stage.

Gearhead Gertie, 3/10/26

Oh, man, Gearhead Gertie died, you guys. She fell thousands of feet into the Grand Canyon and died in a horrible car wreck. I’d say she will be missed, but, honestly, probably not that much. I mean, her husband doesn’t seem that broken up about it, and for good reason.

Blondie, 3/10/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because Dagwood is so terrified of being alone with his own thoughts for even a single moment that his brain will simply spontaneously shut down when faced with the possibility!

Mary Worth, 3/10/26

“Hmm, is it possible that Harvey became enraged and stormed off because my advice was too good?” is absolutely top-notch Mary Worth. I’m standing up at my desk and saluting right now, that’s how incredible this is.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/7/26

Look, normally when an employer is reluctant to tell you his last name, that’s a red flag. But in this case, it’s just because he’s desperate to get someone working as a waitress because the notoriously sketchy Mud Mountain Murphy demands human companionship along with his food, which is honestly a much, much bigger red flag.

Blondie, 3/7/26

I continue to believe that Blondie is America’s most important window into the Boomer mindset, and what it reveals is that the Boomers love setting their phones on speaker and yelling into them more than anything. For once, Blondie’s weird rictus facial expression is actually kind of appropriate here. “Are you talking on speaker to a wrong number while I’m reading? Do I have that right? Is that happening right now?”

Gil Thorp, 3/7/26

Big news, everyone! Mimi has decided to not marry her girlfriend. Instead, she’s just going to get all her romantic and sexual satisfaction out of watching her ex-husband screw up. Oh, is Gil’s mother being a pain? Not Mimi’s problem anymore, and she’s loving it.