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Enjoy this week’s top comment, y’all!

“We can still have hope that Wilbur washed up on the shores of Tokugawa Japan and is about to be executed by the Shogun in accordance with sakoku.” –nicole 2: the squeakquel, on Twitter

And enjoy the very funny runners up!

“Will I be able to follow 5WATS if I haven’t seen the first four?” –Mike Puterbaugh, on Twitter

“Hi Linda, remember your husband, whose death must have been traumatic for your family and produced a wound that will never heal? I need some of his stuff to solve a minor inconvenience.” –Ettorre

“Feel like if Bull was still alive he could have told them that a mouth guard protects your teeth; the helmet is for your head. Still, with the one character who ever picked up a football gone, I guess we can be grateful that Funky didn’t just staple a bunch of silver age comics to her head.” –Dan

“It’s impossible to match the improbability of ‘Wilbur washes ashore on a deserted island,’ but ‘Estelle’s Premium Oceanview Veranda stateroom is furnished with a cot dragged up from the brig’ makes a bold attempt and I appreciate the effort.” –TheDiva

“Mary Worth teasing us by showing fish food while revealing Wilbur wasn’t.” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter

“Wilbur is NOT Mary’s ‘friend and neighbor.’ He is her NEMESIS. She has been meddling on his behalf for almost 30 years now, and he’s STILL so dysfunctional that even Hell itself won’t take him!” –Mysterion

“Worst job in the Dick Tracyverse is naming consultant. ‘OK, let’s see what we have here. Metal band around brow, two metal discs instead of ears … Stereo Stan! It’s hip, the kids love their hi-fi sets, we can pretend the ears are speakers and … you hate it. Wait, wait, give me another shot. Tiara Teddy, because the brow band kind of … please put down the gun, sir. Well, tell me about yourself. Uh huh. Uh huh. Cars, eh? Headlight Head? No? Gus the Grille? No. Ah. Piston Puss. Yes, I see you like that. That’ll be twenty bucks. Like me on Facebook and recommend me to your friends!’” –Voshkod

“I like Rex’s very minimal attempt at making conversation. Kelly: ‘That sure turned out weird at the end.’ Rex: ‘Yeah, yeah. Life’s a rich tapestry. But anyway, getting back to this lawsuit…’” –Joe Blevins

“That desk being roughly the same height as the monitor is all that you really need to know about Leroy Lockhorn. Well, he’s also a sad, mean drunk, but let’s not lose focus: he’s a shrimp.” –pastordan

“The Lockfriend seems to be pretty bored with this home tour. Next up is the refrigerator. No doubt that’s where Leroy keeps his libido.” –Geogreg

“Wagon, hell — why did you fall off the ship?” –Pozzo

“Wilbur: ‘Maybe I can get a bite of Kate Winglet, hue hue hue.’ Narrator voice: ‘Wilbur died three weeks later, without ever remembering Kate Winslett’s real name.’” –Amelie Wikström

“I think I understand why Jenny and Jeff are somewhere that not only has no cell signal but also no FM or even AM stations in range. They’ve decided that Marvin is a lost cause, and it’s time to let the wolves have a shot at raising him. Hence the choice of music.” –Dmsilev

“Once upon a time, a plugger’s idea of ‘streaming content‘ would have been something like fly-fishing. But nowadays even the Real Americans are so jaded they can only feel happiness from listening in to their neighbors being arrested or found dead.” –jroggs

“And the award for ‘Most Boring Acid Flashback’ goes to…” –Artist formerly known as Ben

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, do you want to spend seventy-two American dollars for a framed print of the strip where Wilbur Weston may have fallen off a cruise ship to his death? Or, perhaps slightly more likely, do you want to spend ten bucks on a mug with Wilbur’s face on it that says “Where there’s a Wilbur, there a way…bur”? Well, the official Comics Kingdom RIP Wilbur Weston store is for you, my friends!

For the rest of you, there’s this comment of the week:

“Wilbur still reciting his ‘King of the World’ speech is how we should remember him. Unchanging even in the face of the dark and inevitable, generally dense, and most importantly: committed to the bit. The hero we didn’t deserve.” –Black Drazon

And these runners up are also hilarious!

“You either die a Wilbur or you live long enough to see yourself become the Aldo.” –Ettorre

“I just appreciate the quaintness of a world where you can sell expensive blouses from the kind of crude outdoor stand a child might use to sell lemonade.” –Joe Blevins

“[Smacking Max’s hand away] We’ve discussed this, no shirts.” –Dan

“All the ‘why am I getting these calls, I don’t even have a car!’ complaints I’ve heard have been from NYC residents. Snuffy will be so disheartened to learn he’s playing to the city slickers in the audience.” –TheDiva

“Nice to see Dick Tracy pay tribute to Krak, Blam, Bash, and Wham, the long-forgotten mascots of Kellogg’s Rice Kicksies, the only cereal that fought back when you ate it.” –Voshkod

“Wilbur’s head can float but let’s hope his body sinks.” –nescio

“You know who’s really responsible for creating the Doggo twins, Sarah? A Xerox machine. Because there are two of them. And you only drew one. And if there’s only one dog, well then there aren’t twins, duh. Have fun suing a Xerox machine, you adorable little guttersnipe.” –made of wince

“You’re a plugger if you’ve ever experienced a moment of joy. But learning that you’re a plugger guarantees that you’ll never be happy again, so congratulations, you’re no longer a plugger! But that news is likely to make you happy, so bad news, you’re a plugger after all. There is no escape. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.” –Doctor Moreau

“Let’s face it, this Wilbur’s Arc (not a bad name for a comic) has gone on since I think the Love Boat was on television. Why not have this mustachioed version of Captain Steuben whisk Estelle away on a course for adventure and with a mind on a new romance? There’s plenty of fish in the sea — so to speak. Some of them quite large.” –Joe Momma

“While the crew ‘look for Wilbur’ (could he be in this six-inch locker for a flare pistol? Unlock, open, search, close, lock. How about this one?) he is getting steadily further away, both horizontally and (if we’re lucky) vertically. ” –RogerBW

“The only difference that matters between these two panels is the baby’s eyes. Baby #2 is definitely making hard eye contact. He knows what he did.” –pugfuggly

“You might be a plugger if you make terrible wordplay about your bowel movements as you crawl back into bed with Mama Bear at ten of nine.” –pastordan

“That punctuation mark after ‘Well’ needs to accept that it’s a comma, and stop trying to jump up into the apostrophe zone. Learn to love yourself, little comma! You’re beautiful just the way you are!” –Mr. A

“Finally — my 10,000 steps! And now my reward…” –Dennis Jimenez

“What is this guy’s special power, the inability to sense heat? You have a read hot chunk of metal on your wrist and you need Dick to tell you it’s hot? Maybe that explains his limp screaming. Intellectually, he understands he’s burning to death, but to his brain it feels like he’s in a cold shower, so he can’t really get that excited about it.” –jerp+jump

“I know it’s disappointing that they’re turning back for Wilbur while still within a time window that makes a rescue very unlikely, but still dramatically plausible. But cheer up, everybody. Maybe he’ll be run over.” –AndyL

“It’s funny because Wilbur was trying to reenact a scene from a movie that won eleven Oscars.” –Anonymous

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks … it’s your very first comment of the new year! Enjoy!

“Grandma holds her spoon the way Mary Worth holds a cell phone. That spoon is going to miss her entire face anyway, but at least the oatmeal won’t make any noise when is falls on her lap.” –BeetleBoy

Your runners up are also very funny!

“Wilbur’s expression in panel two doesn’t show that he is madly in love with Estelle so much as it shows that he has suddenly realized that, in the light of a full moon reflecting off the ocean, she looks like an enormous roast beef sandwich.” –seismic-2

“The characters are arranged in the order Rex loves them. He loves himself the most. Sorry, adopted blond kid.” –Joe Blevins

“Do you see the size of this ‘library?’ I got one book — Fanny Hill — and there’s a seven-year waiting list.” — Pozzo

“Or, as I prefer to call it, No-Tip Tuesday.” –TheDiva

“Excited for Wilbur to fall off the boat and wash up on a deserted island where his only companion is a volleyball he draws a face on and the volleyball also romantically rejects him.” –The Great Joe Bivins

“Me? Bet on my own games? Why that would be deeply unethical. Anyway, we had to cover the spread, and the over/under, and a side proposition bet about which team would commit more fouls, which is why I threw those elbows, but it’s all just fun and games. Anyway, I have to got to see my book … keeper about some things, and hide from a loan shark … gunman, a lone shark gunman, in a new game I just made up, so later, guys!” –Voshkod

“Keep in mind that Pam and Jeff aren’t watching Bridgerton, but A Bridgerton Too Far, which in the Funkyverse I can only presume is a similar show but instead of sex it’s people burning themselves alive for the pleasure of it.” –The Rambling Otter

“Intrigued by that little white jar in front. What do you figure that is? Lard? Like, dipping lard?” –pugfuggly

“[Extremely scientific voice] Shelf-stable, easily transportable foodstuffs provide a useful source of calories in remote, inaccessible areas where the economy is dependent on stolen chickens.” –pastordan

“You’re a plugger if you still receive print magazines. C’mon grandpa, it’s all about TokTuk now! [Disclaimer: I don’t actually know what it’s all about now.]” –GeoGreg

“We complain that these days our normal interactions with people are mediated by ‘therapy speak’, but back in the 1950s you could feel the thumb of Dr Freud on the scale.” –Ettorre

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!