“To our fans: We apologize sincerely for last week’s attempt to add action and plot development to our strip. We now understand what keeps true Rex-heads coming back day after day, and vow to continue bringing our biggest fans the content they crave: Buck Talking On the Phone.” –Drew Funk

“Say, young lady, you ever heard of a movie called Weekend at Bernie’s? Because you’re going to wish your future husband had that much respect for you.” –Needless_Exposition

“Before I go … I just have to see the old high school again … Ah, just as I remember it! A functional but uninspiring building surrounded by dispirited young people! There’s one now! I think I’ll walk up to her and say some disturbingly vague things that’ll make her uncomfortable! Gee whiz, what a time travel adventure this is!” –Joe Blevins

“When Crankshaft says ‘420 blaze it,’ he’s referring to his most recent arson death toll.” –jroggs

“Well, if you didn’t think anybody was dressing up like comic book characters and patrolling the streets, then one guy doing it, sort of, with a broom, technically qualifies as ‘more so.’” –Effluvius Erratus

“Buck doesn’t have to ask which news story Rex is referring to. It’s the comic book one. It has to be the comic book one. There is literally no other reason Rex would text Buck.” –Ace

“Rex puts two ‘-‘s into his texts to indicate separate but related clauses instead of just one, or a comma, or nothing. You have to admire a man committed enough to pedantry that he’ll access the punctuation panel on his phone’s keyboard while texting his dumb friend about an idle thought he had while watching some stupid news story. This is what he went to med school for.” –Truckosaurus

“I like how it looks as though Ian is raising his glass for a little cheers to his wife’s infidelity. ‘You’ve taken on a young lover? How European. Santé!’” –pugfuggly

“The hot cocoa is what gets me. I hear ‘he was saved by an elderly couple,’ I think they pulled him out of the path of a speeding car or something. But this panel tells me that he went to their home and raided their wine gasoline cellar in full view of their blonde … roommate? niece? … and then decided to reject their help? Tonsils, buddy: drink the cocoa, take the money, and borrow your benefactor’s babushka as a disguise. You’re only making it harder on yourself.” –els

“Don’t make his mistake, Matt. It’s not too late to change your name to something stupidly obvious. Let’s see. Cowlick? Tsunami Hair? Giant Eye? The Monocle? You’d need a monocle for that one, of course.” –Voshkod

“Dustin’s dad’s favorite bit is shrugging and pointing to his ‘World’s Okayest Lawyer’ mug as his clients are dragged off to jail. He’s the office jokester, to be sure!” –jenna

“The true menace is Dennis boasting to the working-class-coded Gina about the privilege of his father’s white-collar job.” –matt w

“That is the lamest, most unrealistic depiction of a man shoveling snow that anyone has ever seen. With that kind of technique, Your Friendly Neighborhood Snow Removal Man is gonna freeze to death before he even finishes his own walk.” –Inspector Gotcha

“Greg Wilkins took the outdoor job for the smoke breaks. Priorities, man.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Toby, I’m going to teach you the basics of academia. The students are the enemy. Administration is the enemy. Your colleagues are the enemy. The founding bodies are the enemy. And yet you must go to bed with the enemy to do anything. So just apply to this job the experience from our marriage.” –Ettorre

“You know, Toby, on the continent the only proper way to eat posole is a la nez, as I’m doing here. Here you try it. Where are you going?” –Little Blue Bicycle

“Throwing up in the car while the DMV guy is going off on ‘rap’ music.” –propserdave, on Twitter

“You’re extremely comfortable with your laziness when you choose to sleep next to the edge of a cliff, unworried about rolling over in your sleep since that would involve a minimum of effort.” –nescio

“Kudos to Snuffy for actually protecting the Earth by sleeping on a large patch of what appears to be coal, or maybe he’s floating on an oil patch. Either way these fossil fuels aren’t going to be used for energy. Just the opposite, in fact.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Catch the size of that fridge in panel one! Even assuming Ian and Toby are short-statured, that thing’s wall-sized, enormous. What do they keep in it? Posole? Salmon loaf? The bitter remains of a love gone cold? Helen Moss’ frozen corpse? (Wine. It’s filled with gallon after gallon of Ian’s favorite boxed wine.)” –pastordan

“If this strip really wanted to shake things up they’d shave Ian’s beard and, I dunno, have him record a YouTube video called ‘It’s only natural for students to want to fuck their teachers’ to launch a Jordan Peterson-esque career arc.” –ArtOf Wargames, on Twitter

“Toby is wearing two black armbands: one for her job, one for her marriage.” –Joe Blevins

” Superman has his ‘Fortress of Solitude.’ This guy chills in the ‘Fortress of Decrepitude.’” –Pozzo

“We have tons of gritty and realistic reboots of Batman where the guy with limitless finances, superhuman intellect and peak physical condition has access to gadgets well beyond normal technology — superhero without superpowers my ass! So it’s nice to see a gritty and realistic reboot where the superhero will die from the infected bite of a meth head.” –Ettorre

“Criminals will be dealt brute justice by this dark, gritty Charles Nelson Reilly.” –Donny Ferguson, on Twitter

“Big mistake, one Dick Tracy appearance absorbs you fully into the Tribune Cinematic Universe. You can never die now, Gasoline Alley might end, but Skeezix is condemned to an eternal half-life alongside Brenda Starr, Little Orphan Annie, and whoever else the syndicate has got knocking around. Li’l Abner? Terry and the Pirates? Maybe the Love Is… couple can do a cameo getting arrested for indecent exposure.” –Dan

“What is that piece of paper Jughaid’s casually pushing toward Miz Carter? A warning? A ransom note for Miz Prunelly? A list of supplies needed to survive in that impassable tangle of desks? The cold, dead eyes of the children and their lifeless smiles tell us nothing other than the fact that Hootin’ Holler is now the Village Of The Damned.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“If you’ve ever wondered what the start of the zombie apocalypse in the Newnited States might look like, well, it involves students who are just happy to receive the attention, the sweet undivided attention, of the teacher, or any adult, really. Tomorrow, they will feast on human flesh, or be feasted upon. Today, they receive emotional validation!” –pastordan

“It’s Westview. After you get married you get to have ‘you know’ (cancer).” –nescio

“I really want to know more about Gregg Hamm, the legally blind 50-year-old high school student who drinks coffee out of a solid gold mug. What’s his backstory, do you think?” –Effluvius Erratus

“Wait! I actually get married and have … you know … ? some kind of extensive reconstructive surgery that explains why nothing about our faces is even remotely similar even though we’re allegedly the same person? Am I in witness protection? Do they radically reshape your skull for that where you’re from? The future sounds cool!” –Shoe Substitutes

“I resent that today’s Crankshaft gave the titular crank the last word. I would’ve rather it just ended on Lillian telling him he’s irritating. In fact, in place of a ‘joke,’ I’d love it if from now on Crankshaft ended with another character telling him ‘You’re annoying,’ ‘No one likes you,’ ‘We all want you dead,’ ‘You suck,’ etc.” –jenna

“At first this looks like just a harmless pun, but if you look closer at Leroy’s mouth you’ll see that he’s belching that entire sentence.” –pugfuggly

“FFS, if your superhero name is going to be ‘The Street Sweeper‘ at least wear some coveralls and a high visibility vest instead of dressing like a two bit private dick. Batman’s not out there fighting crime in a polo and khakis. No, no matter how impractical the costume is, he’s wearing the goddamned gimmick with pride.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“What am I gonna do with this broom? I’ll tell you. I’m going to mildly annoy you with it, but not in a manner that will even so much as interrupt your ability to address me in complete sentences.” –Not Greg Evans

“Before I had a kid, I might have been mildly amused by that Family Circus. Now that I have a kid, I’m just shocked and dismayed they had the audacity to bring 4 (4!) (4!!!!!) kids to an art museum. It would have been less annoying for the other patrons if they had let loose rabid ocelots.” –jerp+jump

“[Smash cut to Ian taking an extended sip from a tea cup] ‘Welllll, wellllll, welllll’” –Kevin On Earth

“Billy seethes as Bil tries to put a positive spin on a bad situation. ‘This restraining order doesn’t mention the post-Carolingian downtown annex specifically.’” –Hibbleton

“I have to admit, when I got to Panel 3 (otherwise known as the ‘She said she’ll report me to school management’ verse of Toby’s Lament), I was pretty skeptical. ‘No,’ thought I, ‘there’s no way Helen Moss said something like that. I call foul!’ But when I got to the second to last panel … wow. Egg on my face, let me tell you.” –els

“That looks like an oversized magic wand. Rene is upset because he’s gonna have to watch this guy practice his extremely amateur magic act as they drive around for HOURS.” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter

“All Toby has to do to avoid that outcome is get some witness testimony from her students. ‘No, her treatment of Cal isn’t special, she kind of praises everyone.’ Of course, this could lead to a new set of problems as the school asks whether or not she’s a competent teacher, but it’s better to be fired for poor performance than sexual misconduct.” –Tom

“I assume the Rex Morgan, M.D. team is trying to cover up the fact that in 1949 they had actual medical drama, because I know the target audience can’t read the tiny print in that embedded strip any better than I can.” –matt w

“Super disappointed the case didn’t pivot on Slick Smitty going without socks.” –ambignostic, on Twitter

“Here is the context: The bird woman in the act of regurgitating her food to feed her young has realized there is so, so much more to life. Just wait until she goes home and tells her bird husband she’s enrolling in courses at the local community college and that he is going to have to start puking to feed their children. It’s going to be messy in so many ways.” –Joe Momma

“Snuffy may complain all he wants about local infrastructure, but guess who will be the first to have a shotgun in hand when the IRS comes collecting for the new mill levy to fix County Road 12?” –TheDiva

“The owl is not enjoying this! At the time of the Animal Revolution he sent so many humans to the guillotine, but these are the days of Thermidor and crimes and punishment are low stakes. Sometimes even winning the revolution is no fun!” –Ettorre

“Now I get it. That’s a VR bench. I figured those women just allowed him to walk out the door hoping he’d walk into traffic.” –Hibbleton

“I can only assume that ‘finish’ in this context means ‘eat.’”–pugfuggly

“‘We’ve got Flauberto Pert pitching to Chudd Ravel, and we like York Trawber and Whin Juggs too. Orrel Carver, Gammy Gamoo and Reeb Hull in the outfield. Mut Rozzle at third, Flim Patrick at potato and Urgle Hurberly yon flongle…’ It wasn’t until Gil got to shortstop that anyone realized he was having a stroke.” –Truckosaurus

“‘So I’ll be … okay?’ is the response you’d expect from someone who’s been told their cancer is in remission or other chronic illness is, in fact, treatable, not a simple arm injury that probably resulted from too much working out. Clearly there’s a complex and disturbing backstory here but Rex isn’t interested in that. That would mean dealing with emotions.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Gil Thorp Writer: ‘Dallas George. What a name. Strong, masculine, as American as baseball itself. I oughta insert major American cities in character names more often. Hmm, is the very next panel too soon?’” –jenna

“A nightmare indeed. ‘Toby and Cal sittin’ in a tree’ doesn’t scan at all! ‘Cal and Toby’ fits perfectly, you awful students!” –Lawyerbob

“Pretty sure that’s actually Drew padding out the numbers on the far right of Toby’s dream sequence. Not sure what that’s about. Honestly, shocked as anyone to learn there’s multiple layers going on in Toby’s dream, or indeed anything to do with Toby in any way.” –Dan

“It’s the smug look that really sells it here. ‘Yup, saving lots of money at my house, like real God-fearing Americans. Just sitting in the dark … saving money.’” –pastordan

“Rex’s latest patient is an aspiring MMA fighter, so if you’ve always wanted to see what the crowd at a UFC octagon match would have looked like in 1953 you may be in for a treat.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“No! No, I am still not interested in watching anime! I’ve already told the Millennials and now I’m telling you, Moy and Brigman!” –made of wince

“Do the other sports pretty much coach themselves until they are played at a location Gil or his wife have to physically cross to get to the sports they care about?” –Kevin On Earth