Post Content

Folks, do you want to spend seventy-two American dollars for a framed print of the strip where Wilbur Weston may have fallen off a cruise ship to his death? Or, perhaps slightly more likely, do you want to spend ten bucks on a mug with Wilbur’s face on it that says “Where there’s a Wilbur, there a way…bur”? Well, the official Comics Kingdom RIP Wilbur Weston store is for you, my friends!

For the rest of you, there’s this comment of the week:

“Wilbur still reciting his ‘King of the World’ speech is how we should remember him. Unchanging even in the face of the dark and inevitable, generally dense, and most importantly: committed to the bit. The hero we didn’t deserve.” –Black Drazon

And these runners up are also hilarious!

“You either die a Wilbur or you live long enough to see yourself become the Aldo.” –Ettorre

“I just appreciate the quaintness of a world where you can sell expensive blouses from the kind of crude outdoor stand a child might use to sell lemonade.” –Joe Blevins

“[Smacking Max’s hand away] We’ve discussed this, no shirts.” –Dan

“All the ‘why am I getting these calls, I don’t even have a car!’ complaints I’ve heard have been from NYC residents. Snuffy will be so disheartened to learn he’s playing to the city slickers in the audience.” –TheDiva

“Nice to see Dick Tracy pay tribute to Krak, Blam, Bash, and Wham, the long-forgotten mascots of Kellogg’s Rice Kicksies, the only cereal that fought back when you ate it.” –Voshkod

“Wilbur’s head can float but let’s hope his body sinks.” –nescio

“You know who’s really responsible for creating the Doggo twins, Sarah? A Xerox machine. Because there are two of them. And you only drew one. And if there’s only one dog, well then there aren’t twins, duh. Have fun suing a Xerox machine, you adorable little guttersnipe.” –made of wince

“You’re a plugger if you’ve ever experienced a moment of joy. But learning that you’re a plugger guarantees that you’ll never be happy again, so congratulations, you’re no longer a plugger! But that news is likely to make you happy, so bad news, you’re a plugger after all. There is no escape. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.” –Doctor Moreau

“Let’s face it, this Wilbur’s Arc (not a bad name for a comic) has gone on since I think the Love Boat was on television. Why not have this mustachioed version of Captain Steuben whisk Estelle away on a course for adventure and with a mind on a new romance? There’s plenty of fish in the sea — so to speak. Some of them quite large.” –Joe Momma

“While the crew ‘look for Wilbur’ (could he be in this six-inch locker for a flare pistol? Unlock, open, search, close, lock. How about this one?) he is getting steadily further away, both horizontally and (if we’re lucky) vertically. ” –RogerBW

“The only difference that matters between these two panels is the baby’s eyes. Baby #2 is definitely making hard eye contact. He knows what he did.” –pugfuggly

“You might be a plugger if you make terrible wordplay about your bowel movements as you crawl back into bed with Mama Bear at ten of nine.” –pastordan

“That punctuation mark after ‘Well’ needs to accept that it’s a comma, and stop trying to jump up into the apostrophe zone. Learn to love yourself, little comma! You’re beautiful just the way you are!” –Mr. A

“Finally — my 10,000 steps! And now my reward…” –Dennis Jimenez

“What is this guy’s special power, the inability to sense heat? You have a read hot chunk of metal on your wrist and you need Dick to tell you it’s hot? Maybe that explains his limp screaming. Intellectually, he understands he’s burning to death, but to his brain it feels like he’s in a cold shower, so he can’t really get that excited about it.” –jerp+jump

“I know it’s disappointing that they’re turning back for Wilbur while still within a time window that makes a rescue very unlikely, but still dramatically plausible. But cheer up, everybody. Maybe he’ll be run over.” –AndyL

“It’s funny because Wilbur was trying to reenact a scene from a movie that won eleven Oscars.” –Anonymous

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Folks … it’s your very first comment of the new year! Enjoy!

“Grandma holds her spoon the way Mary Worth holds a cell phone. That spoon is going to miss her entire face anyway, but at least the oatmeal won’t make any noise when is falls on her lap.” –BeetleBoy

Your runners up are also very funny!

“Wilbur’s expression in panel two doesn’t show that he is madly in love with Estelle so much as it shows that he has suddenly realized that, in the light of a full moon reflecting off the ocean, she looks like an enormous roast beef sandwich.” –seismic-2

“The characters are arranged in the order Rex loves them. He loves himself the most. Sorry, adopted blond kid.” –Joe Blevins

“Do you see the size of this ‘library?’ I got one book — Fanny Hill — and there’s a seven-year waiting list.” — Pozzo

“Or, as I prefer to call it, No-Tip Tuesday.” –TheDiva

“Excited for Wilbur to fall off the boat and wash up on a deserted island where his only companion is a volleyball he draws a face on and the volleyball also romantically rejects him.” –The Great Joe Bivins

“Me? Bet on my own games? Why that would be deeply unethical. Anyway, we had to cover the spread, and the over/under, and a side proposition bet about which team would commit more fouls, which is why I threw those elbows, but it’s all just fun and games. Anyway, I have to got to see my book … keeper about some things, and hide from a loan shark … gunman, a lone shark gunman, in a new game I just made up, so later, guys!” –Voshkod

“Keep in mind that Pam and Jeff aren’t watching Bridgerton, but A Bridgerton Too Far, which in the Funkyverse I can only presume is a similar show but instead of sex it’s people burning themselves alive for the pleasure of it.” –The Rambling Otter

“Intrigued by that little white jar in front. What do you figure that is? Lard? Like, dipping lard?” –pugfuggly

“[Extremely scientific voice] Shelf-stable, easily transportable foodstuffs provide a useful source of calories in remote, inaccessible areas where the economy is dependent on stolen chickens.” –pastordan

“You’re a plugger if you still receive print magazines. C’mon grandpa, it’s all about TokTuk now! [Disclaimer: I don’t actually know what it’s all about now.]” –GeoGreg

“We complain that these days our normal interactions with people are mediated by ‘therapy speak’, but back in the 1950s you could feel the thumb of Dr Freud on the scale.” –Ettorre

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Curtis, 12/24/21

The most recent Curtis storyline has invovled our hero chaperoning Michelle to and from the dentist in her family limo because she’s neglected by her parents, and helping her home after she was extremely doped up on novacaine. This has taught him the true meaning of Christmas … and is maybe setting up the wildest Kwanzaa story yet? Only time will tell! Sadly, though, you will have to spend that time without me mocking the comics, because I am off on my end of year holiday journey and will be back January … 3rd? Ish? Stay tuned!

Oh, hey, also, remember last week when I promised you my return to live comedy, in Los Angeles? Well, our theater is taking a little Omicron Pause over late Dec/early January, so that’s postponed! Probably till February 4th! Stay tuned for more developments!

Finally, I will leave you with one last comment of the week for 2021:

“No need to spike the punch. But that didn’t stop me from spiking it anyway. Why am I like this, Hi? I was saving that booze for breakfast, and now I’m just gonna have to buy more.” –made of wince

These runners up were also very funny!

“A lot of you have been curious who Cynthia Ivy is. Well, guess what? You’re wrong to be curious! In fact, if you didn’t already know, her local news team has already revealed this information! Instead of being a grown adult like me, she’s actually a little girl! Just check out Glenwood’s obscure small-town news website and you can find out her name, her address, the school she goes to, what she looks like, who her friends are — everything! But you shouldn’t do that, because that’s bad! So please, do not seek out this fully available information now that I’ve confirmed it definitely exists and told you where you can easily find it!” –jroggs

“Leroy, you dummy! The line to see Santa is only three deep, man! This is your big chance! You have a bunch of things you could ask him for — like, maybe being put in a 50-year coma. Wouldn’t that be sweet?” –Joe Blevins

“Cassandra Cat used to dress like a temptress but now dresses like a lumberjack, probably to avoid accusations of sexism. Jokes on you, authors! You stop appealing to someone’s fetish just to end up pleasing someone else’s fetish! It’s Sisyphus pushing Rule 34 up a hill forever!” –Ettorre

“The line ‘We need to get diapers‘ not ‘I need to get you diapers’ heavily unnerves me.” –The Rambling Otter

“Mary Worth: When Barney Google is offpanel, he probably walks around thinking things like this about Snuffy and Loweezy.” –Anonymous

“I don’t know how broken up Dick really is. Having your admin assistant check eBay for the stolen crap isn’t really Dick trying his best, I mean hell, he hasn’t even shot anyone yet.” –jerp+jump

“Mary Worth has the luxury of walking around, freely thinking about how ugly Wilbur is, while poor Estelle has to constantly squash that thought if she’s going to get through the day and the night.” –jenna

“I heard somewhere that people are drawn to one another to learn lessons necessary for growth. [Mary is suddenly drenched in ominous shadow] You have not learned, Estelle. I am not done teaching you.” –Dan

“And that’s why I’m sittin’ here rappin’ / While my infant just never stops crappin'” –Peanut Gallery

“‘And now that I’ve put my face out there, I hope this won’t make too many problems for us.’ Hate to tell you this, my dude, but that face? Nothing but problems.” –els

“Does Does Kyle Vidpa’s wife have any expressions that don’t look like she’s being held at gunpoint?” –Violet

“Man, I would hate to see the Apparatus’ Gantt Charts. ‘Wait, wait, wait. This is all screwed up. You’ve got Recruit someone with management experience as a directly dependent task for Establish escort service, but there’s no duration calculated, and you didn’t even bother to include Corrupt with friendly package delivery service. How are you going to line that up with the Work Breakdown Sheet? Bro, do you even have a task code??? What is this, Waterfall Planning for Idiots?!’” –pastordan

“Blondie is a lot more entertaining if you imagine Alexander is just Dagwood’s younger self, terrible fashion sense and all, come to the present, and the two of them proceeded to get zooted on psychotropics while watching a Gene Autry marathon.” –Irrischana

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!