Post Content

Folks, if you’re spending time at home (and you should be if you don’t have a criticial job, gotta flatten that curve), why not get your human interaction out of the comment section on joshreads dot com? You’ll not only make online pals, you’ll also see comedic gems like this:

“First Rex schemes to have an elderly relative thrown out of his house, then he makes it plain to this person that he doesn’t want to tell this long story because he doesn’t want to spend time with him. When Covid-19 hits hard and we need a ruthless medical professional to decide how to ration life-saving medicine, Rex’s personality will be an asset.” –Ettorre

Your runners up are also hilarious enough to make you want to touch your face! (After properly washing your hands, of course.)

“Why is Mark’s face red as if he’s blushing? Maybe it’s the reference to an edible haypile, but you’d think that would go right over his head.” –nescio

“The comic strip Dustin should be called Am I Right, Folks? ‘How about these modern day coffee shops? Am I right, folks? They ask you your name so they can write it on the cup! We never had to do that in the old days! Am I right, folks? And most of the time, they spell your name wrong once you’ve told them! Am I right, folks? And what’s with all the terminology you have to learn, just to order a simple cup of joe? We never had to to that in the old days! Am I right, folks? And boy, are these places expensive! You have to make a down payment on a cup of coffee! We never had to do that in the old days! Am I right, folks? Huh? Am I right? Please tell me I’m right! PLEASE SAY THAT I’M RIGHT! I NEED TO HEAR THOSE EXACT WORDS!’” –Joe Blevins

“Apparently Summer checks to make sure that Les isn’t at home before she enters the house. This is the first case I can remember of someone in this strip actually behaving sensibly.” –seismic-2

“There’s another reason that they are fortunate to not be going to Italy. From the picture in the travel agents’ window, it seems to have been ripped out of the Earth’s crust and stood precariously on one end. The resulting death and destruction is a drastic way to deal with the pandemic, but perhaps effective.” –maarvarq

“I’m pretty sure that a fully mobile android capable of emotional expression could be better utilized for a plethora of more important jobs, but alas, its creator is forced to alter its programming in the hopes of winning money from an institution that thrives on greed and economic disparity, most likely in order to repay the excessive student loans that were necessary to graduate from MIT. And to top it all off, said creator has been forced to give her creation a mechanical bust and dress it in pearls, so that it meets the expectations of the male gaze. Damn, Six Chix is woke as fuck today.” –Mighty Sean Young

“Oh no! I accidentally set the robot’s mode to Poker Face (Lady Gaga)! Now she’ll be bluffin’ with her muffin! I’m not lying! She’s gonna be stunnin’ with her love glue gunnin’!” –Lionheart

“Long story. Involves a distant relative of June’s. Oh, wait, he’s also my patient! I guess it isn’t that long a story at all, if you’re as lax with HIPAA regulations as I am.” –BigTed

“Interesting to see that the Google Eyes of Horror shows up in other bird-themed comics. In any event, I’m pretty sure that Mother Goose just realized that she forgot to put on her own pampers this morning and is probably ruining her skirt. Birds shit constantly.” –pugfuggly

“That punchline isn’t nearly as disturbing as the thousand-yard stare that accompanies the grim delivery of, ‘What do you have to do, Joyce?’ I say these bird women need to band (flock?) together, re-read Lysistrata, and foment some shit.” –Hopester

“Thank you, Six Chix and newspaper comics lead time, for reminding us of the eternal recurrence of things we enjoy like the first robin of spring and also baseball spring training, a thing that is totally happening now and going to cheer me up! (Kidding, I’m a Pirates fan, nothing about baseball cheers me up.)” –matt w

“Am I alone in reading ‘How do you know?’ as kind of insulting? Like, she brought up the word, and he doesn’t recognize it. But apparently that doesn’t mean it makes sense she would know what it is, and any such occurrence of book learnin’ demands immediate special explanation. What I’m saying is, maybe there’s another layer to her reminding him that she knows how to kill animals by stabbing them through the face.” –pachoo

“Today’s comic, making no sense in mummy or cooking or television terms, can be interpreted as a disguised plea from the cartoonist herself. ‘Can I get some help here?’ After all the criticism, she’s at last ready to sub-contract the artwork.” –Just John

“It’s like Home Alone, only instead of Looney Tunes-style slapstick there’s mild nagging.” –TheDiva

“I’m picturing all the steps that led to a mummy hosting a televised cooking show. Was it initially pitched for British mothers aka ‘mummies,’ but wires got crossed and it’s too late to turn back now? Or did a fast-talking producer burst into the studio head’s office and start sputtering ‘What’s the problem with cooking shows? I’ll tell ya what’s the problem with cooking shows — no thrills! So what do we have to do? I’ll tell ya what we have to do — make ’em scary! And what’s scarier than mummy? I’ll tell ya what’s scarier than a mummy — nothin’, that’s what!’ To which the studio head replied, ‘Sold!’” –Jenna

“Someday I hope to see WWII era posters with Mary Worth vigorously scrubbing doorknobs with coronavirus-fighting motivational slogans like: ‘I’m not getting sick on account of you filthy little shits.’” –Foodar

“Finally we get the crossover no one asked for as Mark meets the last living Katzenjammer Kid.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Folks, as we all shelter in place to help flatten the curve on coronavirus transmission, we’re gonna have a lot more time to dick around on the Internet. I plan to keep providing you with fun comics-mocking content, and I expect you to all up your commenting game! Here’s this week’s top comment, as an inspiration

“Okay, everybody listen up! I don’t want to hear any more insults until one of you has killed a wild boar and put its head on a stick. Out here, your social constructs are DEAD … so we’re all homeless until we get a shelter built!” –DevOpsDad

And your runners up! Very funny!

“So they went to see a terrible parody film, which turns out to be based on a Star Wars installment no one liked very much, at a time when people are avoiding crowded theaters due to fear of disease. I’ll say one thing for Mary Worth characters — when they get a bad idea, they really stick with it no matter what.” –BigTed

“Today’s strip really does nothing to advance the story, but if the narration box is in fact foreshadowing that eventually Dawn will get run over by a train, then I wholeheartedly approve.” –seismic-2

“OK, this is really concerning. She bought her coffee, got buttonholed by Randy, read him the riot act, walked off in a huff and pitched the coffee cup. When did she drink the coffee? DID SHE JUST WASTE PERFECTLY GOOD COFFEE?!?!” –richardf8

“You’d think the inner dialogue of America’s number one yenta would be more interesting.” –ZeroWolf

“You laugh, but when this plugger wins a Nobel Prize for his Woodchuck Incompleteness Theorem — proving that the very act of granting a woodchuck the ability to chuck wood would make the amount of wood indeterminable — who will be laughing then? Probably still you, because that’s a really dumb thing to get a Nobel Prize for.” –JJ48

“‘Care to explain this?‘ ‘Sure — see, the internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that uses the Internet protocol suite (TCP/IP) to link devices worldwide. You might want to get a pencil and paper … it gets pretty complicated.’” –Pozzo

“Today’s Judge Parker comes out strongly in favor of Plato on two points. First, writing is inferior to oral teaching, because it is fixed. It is much better to have the original author to ask clarifications and further questions. Secondly, democracy is a bane and we should be ruled by a self-appointed class of superior people.” –Ettorre

“See that last panel? That’s Rex at his happiest, which he defines as the absence of unhappiness. It’s so unfamiliar to him that even his facial muscles don’t know what to do, he’s just tensing random muscles like someone was mashing a neural keyboard in his brain.” –pugfuggly

“This … this is Rusty’s LSD hallucination, right? That would explain the changing, misshapen faces and the fact that anyone wants to be Rusty’s friend.” –nescio

“I’m with Baleen on this. The beans won’t burn if you keep them covered with plenty of bilge water, but I would definitely be hesitant to accept a ride to the clinic from a guy who got his nickname from being in so many side-impact car crashes.” –Peanut Gallery

“I don’t know how I feel about this new, smug Rusty … or ‘Smugsty’ as he shall now be known.” –Tonya

“Well, I suppose Jared and I are actually in a relationship, just one in which we don’t have to live with each other or ever have sexual intercourse. I guess you could say we’re ‘Dr. Jeff-ing’. Yeah, that’s it. We’re Jeffing real hard.” –Mighty Sean Young

“Hmmm. A man and a woman are eating lunch together and engaging in stilted inhuman dialogue. Obviously they can only do that if they are aliens from the planet Zaurithian-9 pretending to be human engaged in romantic entanglement.” –2+2=7

“Wait… if Lena wasn’t on the team, what the heck was she doing there? Just coming in to sullenly watch from the shadows? Yeah, that sounds about right.” –The Dimensional Otter

“Great, now this comic has made me imagine how a figure-four leglock would work in a sexual context. I’m sure one of them would still yell ‘Wooo!’” –Rosstifer

“The question makes perfect sense. Monica says she saw them ordering burritos from a food truck, so she was eager to find out what that was on the way to doing. But the answer turns out to be nothing. As a nice touch, you can see her excited smile deflate into a frown, then need to be concealed by a long sip of coffee. The joke is that life is inane and pointless, which isn’t really funny but is always a classic in the newspapers anyway.” –pachoo

“‘Overconfidence was never something the Scapegoats had to worry about. You know what they did have to worry about? Brain-ruining head injuries!’ And they both shared a good laugh.” –Joe Blevins

“Sure hope he remembers some of his old wrasslin’ moves. Namely, when old-wrasslin’, don’t apply too much force or the bones will snap like toothpicks.” –Just John

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Hey all! Just a reminder that TONIGHT, Friday, March 6, my live comedy show, the Internet Read Aloud, returns to The Clubhouse in Los Feliz in Los Angeles! It’ll be great, so don’t miss it!

But do you know what’s also great? Your COTW, that’s what!

“The normal reaction of a Bedouin family to the acquisition of a free camel would be pure joy. But of course, Crock isn’t really about North Africa. It’s about … well, I’m not really sure what it’s about.” –Rube

And the runners up are hilarious as well!

“That guy in Daddy Daze doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Everybody knows the most ticklish warden in the whole penal system is Albert ‘Bear’ Trijolo at ADX Florence.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I can always warm up the car and take everyone for a ride! We need just some more CO2 in the air to defeat winter forever.” –Ettorre”

“This may be the truest thing I have ever said: in Crock, no anatomy can be taken for granted.” –pastordan

“I like to think that his voice gets progressively louder as they walk home or wherever. He grabs random people and shakes them. ‘I’M A GODDAMN STAR WARS FANATIC!’ he yells, as Dawn just stands and stares into the middle distance.” –overtim, on Twitter

“I’ve been reading this fascinating book about squirrels! Did you know squirrels can be trained? So if I took, for example, a scarecrow, dressed it up in a band uniform, and stuffed it full of nuts, squirrels will eventual connect band uniforms with nuts! Anyway, enjoy the next football game, in autumn, as the weather is turning cold and the squirrels instinctively start hunting, desperately, for nuts. I know I will.” –Voshkod

“Can’t wait to see how the Mary Worth team tackles the delicate issue of May-December threesomes.” –pugfuggly

“I do note the … speed puffs? … visible in front of the reversing car are visible in Bumstead’s shot, so perhaps the joke is that they are desperately fleeing Bumstead. You can see it in the woman’s face — the conflict between being nice and the realization that freedom is actually possible and maybe worth being a bit rude about.” –toxic

“Opera is a gangrenous lesion upon the once lustrous skin of human culture and art, says the man who draws and publishes pictures of an infant smugly pissing himself roughly 300 days each year.” –jroggs

“Some of these kids are labeled ‘troubled children,’ making it easier to pass off their disappearances as ‘running away.’ If Thompkins wanders off during the hike, I wouldn’t worry too much about tracking him down.” –TheDiva

“I can’t be the only one puzzled as to why they specifically chose to call him Geoff as opposed to Jeff. It’s very distracting. My question is, what are they trying to distract us from?!” –Violet

“Is that why your pursuit of eternal youth has led you to undergo body modifications that gave you a 2 inch waist?” –TheRealAaron

“Their yoga may be a Tibetan form of meditation focused on ‘naked awareness,’ i.e., recognition of phenomena as manifestations of one’s own mind, without the mediation of conceptual discrimination. And Jared may object because he feels this to represent a misunderstanding of the nature of emptiness.” –Zla’od

“That’s great. Fantastic. I wasn’t feeling enough like I’m living through the apocalypse or anything, definitely needed to hear that Billy Keane knows what sex is.” –Dan

“This right here. This exact moment. This is the catalyst for Thel starting to have extramarital affairs before ultimately leaving the family. She’d thank little Billy if she could remember his name.” –Joe Blevins

“I like the way the neighbor lady stares out her door, but what’s she thinking? ‘We need a bigger fence?’ ‘Why is he selling rat poison like candy?’ ‘What will the neighbors think of me if I’m the one who finally calls CPS on that freak show?’” –Rocky the Flipped-Out Squirrel

“Squirrels are NOT absent-minded! They just bury more nuts than they need, in order to be sure of having enough. A certain cartoonist I can think of would do well to follow their example, where ‘burying nuts’ is a metaphor for ‘providing some content that would make it worthwhile for anyone in their right mind to read their stupid comic strip.’” –Peanut Gallery

“The DAGWOOD lies awake at night pondering how delicious his grandchildren will taste if he has the patience to refrain from devouring his spawn now. Spoiler alert: He does not.” –Dread

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!