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Dennis the Menace, 5/29/16

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny because even the most loving relationships degenerate into a living hell of passive-aggressive nagging if given enough time, but what I really want to know is: why is Dennis going on a road trip with the Wilsons? Notice how their journey is taking them from the city to the countryside. Maybe the reason they aren’t using a GPS is because none of the digital mapping services know where The Burying Place is. That’s the sort of lore that only gets passed down by word of mouth.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/29/16

Hey, kids! Somewhere, miles off, in a town not depicted in this comic strip, an awesome killer robot is just blowing stuff up nonstop! Probably with lasers and missiles and explosions and stuff! Meanwhile, in this panel, math is happening.

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Slylock Fox, 5/23/16

I’m not sure what’s funnier about this scenario. Is it that the Count has the awe-inspiring capability to build incredibly lifelike androids but only uses them as decoys when he’s on the lam? Is it that Deputy Duck lassoed this machine-man while it presumably stood there whirring and grinning like a moron? Is it how darn happy Deputy Duck looks to have finally achieved something, and everyone else looks very grave, aware that his sense of accomplishment will soon vanish? No, trick question: the actual funniest thing is that Deputy Duck isn’t wearing pants.

Crankshaft, 5/23/16

Good news! Jeff didn’t get a chance to tell his mother he forgives her, which, since she definitely didn’t think she ever did anything wrong, is a scenario that definitely would have involved her mustering her last shred of strength to say something incredibly cutting and cruel that would have left him even more emotionally torn up than when he started! See, sometimes good things do happen in the Funkyverse.

Mary Worth, 5/23/16

“Incidents lead me to believe too many people are lacking in some way! Incidents, Mary! Incidents! Lacking! This is how I talk, all the time! I don’t understand why I have problems making friends!”

Pluggers, 5/23/16

Pluggers are tired. So very, very tired. When will death finally come for pluggers? When will they finally be able to sleep, forever?

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Judge Parker, 5/15/16

Honestly, I could take or leave Rocky and Godiva talking increasingly explicitly about all the make-up sex they’re going to have, and have very soon, but I could look at Neddy and Abbey feeling increasingly uncomfortable as they stand awkwardly nearby and listen to them all day. It is now clear that steak is an integral part of Rocky and Godiva’s mating ritual. Neddy looks a little sad that the hardhat she had made with Godiva’s name on it isn’t.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/15/16

Oh hey what’s up, just a store that sells animals in a world where animals are sapient, nothing to recoil from in absolute horror here!

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 5/15/16

Mr. Wilson, perhaps unsurprisingly given his utter helplessness to maintain peace and quiet in his own home, is very keen to decide who lives and who dies.