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Apartment 3-G, 12/17/05

Now, I was already planning on commenting on today’s Apartment 3-G after reading it in glorious black and white in today’s paper, as God intended. Mostly, I wanted to express my admiration for the awesome glowing radiance around Margo, which is no doubt accompanied by a choir-of-angels-style Ahhhhhhhh, and additionally draw attention to her kinda scrawny legs. But when I logged on to see the strip online, I was stunned and amazed to learn that the King Features coloring gnomes could in fact lower the quality of their work. I mean, look at this hatchet job. Tommie’s hair is now Carrot Top orange; Margo doesn’t just have flesh-colored lips, but flesh-colored eyes; and, most egregiously, her knee-high leopard-print hooker boots are now inexplicably blue. Yeesh.

I like the phrase “blots her lipstick with a fresh hundred-dollar bill.” As opposed to, you know, a old, crumpled one, which wouldn’t cost as much. “Barbara! This hundred dollar bill is Series 2001! Get me one with the current Treasury Secretary’s signature on it immediately!” I also like the fact that Tommie is looking to the left at nothing in particular in panel two. It’s as if she got halfway into yet another self-aggrandizing Margo drama moment and just lost interest.

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Judge Parker, 12/16/05

So apparently Harvard Law School will let you buy one of their sweatshirts even if you haven’t taken the class on sexual harassment law.

(I know, I know: with all that sexy eye-gouging talk the other day, she was just asking for it.)

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Herb and Jamaal, 12/15/05

OK, I am really, really pretty sure that Herb and Jamaal has already had a storyline involving someone (I believe it was Herb) finding money and then having a moral quandary about whether he should seek out the owner to return it. So, we get it, Herb and Jamaal, we get it, OK? Keeping money (or, in this case, precious gems) that doesn’t belong to you is wrong. Blah blah frickin’ blah.

More importantly: what the hell is the deal with the cab driver dude? Specifically, why does he have featureless black patches where his eyes should be? Are those glasses? If so, why don’t they have arms that hook over his ears, like our stingy jewel hoarder has? Is he supposed to be blind? Is he a panda? Oh my God, that’s it, isn’t it? He’s a blind, cab-driving, single-hoop-earring wearing panda. Jesus, this strip much, much weirder than I thought.

Thing I like about this strip: the little thought balloon in panel two with a dollar sign in it. I have thoughts like that all the time, actually. I wonder: when Herb and Jamaal is translated for foreign markets, do they replace $ with €, ¥, or £, as needed?