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Mark Trail, 4/17/05

Apparently last week’s killer tsunami was only the beginning of the Mark Trail carnage. This week the focus is on tornadoes, but the topic has really broadened to nature’s wrath in general. And what do we see here? While the puny humans have their seeming superiority stripped away by the awesome power of the winds and rain, the wild beasts, long tormented by mankind, gloat at the carnage wreaked upon their bipedal oppressors. The squirrel in panel three looks positively gleeful about the car being swept away in the flood — perhaps he saw too many of his nut-gathering friends crushed to death beneath its cruel tires! The beavers in the last panel, meanwhile, seem to be taking a more philosophical view of the twister as it tears the wooden homes of men to bits: they seem confident that their dam will make it through the storm, but don’t mind taking a moment out of their busy schedule to watch the plans of their rivals come to naught. The only animal to look panicked by the situation is the dog in the lower lefthand panel — and we all know what happens to collaborators and Uncle Toms when the revolution comes, don’t we? It looks like Mark is trying to get in good with the majestic flying geese and ducks in anticipation of the imminent nature-driven apocalypse.

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Mary Worth, 4/16/05

I thought that maybe it would stop when cruel fate and Dr. Brian’s need to earn a living briefly separated them, but apparently Anna’s brain has been completely taken over by the majesty and fullness and wonder of their love and now she can talk of NOTHING ELSE. In panel two, the extreme closeup on her blank face, unlined by any worry or coherent thought, seems to reveal that she’s so in love that her left eye is about to roll back into her head.

The people I really pity in this situation are her poor yoga students. “Let your breath be your teacher. Leave the rest of your day behind and focus on the present … and on the INCREDIBLY TRUSTING BOND OF TRUST YOU HAVE WITH YOUR MOST TRUSTED LOVED ONE. Seriously, mastering a headstand is one thing, but unless you have the OPENNESS and SHARING of a TRUE LOVE TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP, your life is crap. Did I mention that I’m going to have a BABY?”

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Beetle Bailey, 4/15/05

Normally, I try to avoid just calling out comics artists on their failings, on the logic that they’re human too, etc., but really, Walker brothers (or whoever you are): this is just pitiful. I’m sorry. What the hell is this supposed to be? Were they Camp Swampys mangled up by the sign dropping on them? Is the “construction” to fix the severe damage that they’ve already suffered, or is the construction process actually the cause of their current distressed state? What’s with the bomb — has Camp Swampy actually come under attack? What the hell? I mean, really, what the hell? The only even vaguely clever thing is the little bandage X on the cloud. Still, the whole thing smacks of “Uh oh, tee time rapidly approaching!” On the other hand, there’s a very slight chance that that’s the top of a NUDE MISS BUXLEY sticking up from behind that sign.