Post Content

Speed Bump, 12/16/04

One of my New Year’s resolutions for the coming year is to be less negative, and in that spirit, I had decided to not make my first comment about any of the new comics in the Sun until I had something nice to say. So, here’s today’s Speed Bump. It made me laugh.

I mean, not a lot, mind you, but, you know, more than I did at the last three, which were so spectacularly unfunny that I didn’t even understand why they were supposed to be funny.

Oh, wait, I’m doing it again! Hah. Sorry ’bout that.

Anyway, this panel: funny. Vaguely. Play on words. You know, the word “flight” used to primarily be used as a noun derived from the word “flee,” and it generally meant “an escape.” But now we usually use it as a noun derived from the word “fly.” Still, the old meaning is embedded in certain set phrases, like “fight or flight.” Thus the joke.

I like the sad expression on the trying-to-fly guy’s face, too. And the fact that the mugger is rolling his eyes in disgust.

Or at least I think he is. The drawing of the mugger’s face isn’t very good. What’s that little line thing on his chin? A beard?

Gah! No, I mean, the art is fine. Really! I certainly couldn’t do better. I can’t draw a lick! Ha ha! Panel: funny!

Anyway.

No doubt you’ve noticed that my blog has gone back to its original color scheme. This is not because I’ve gotten over the Sun’s execrable comic-elimination decisions (I haven’t); it’s just that I was getting a headache from reading white type on a black background all the time.

Making me even less over it is something that my fianceé pointed out to me this morning: part of the real estate on the newly consolidated comics page (which has been cheerily rechristened Fun & Games) is taken up by a syndicated contract bridge column. Yeah, you heard me right. A bridge column. It’s not even the one written by Omar Sharif, which is kind of cool in principle because, you know, it’s a bridge column written by Omar goddamn Sharif. But this other, non-Omar-Sharif-penned bridge column — who the hell reads that? Nobody. And the people who do are weirdos.

As opposed to the perfectly normal people who read all the comics every day, even crap like Speed Bump.

Wait, did I say crap? I meant…

Dammit.

Post Content

Spider-Man, 12/15/04

One of the great joys of starting to read a new serial comic strip in the middle of a storyline is the feeling of loopy disorientation you get trying to get a hold on events as they unfold at a rate of three panels a day. With some strips, the problem is that nothing at all seems to be happening, and then it just keeps on not happening (e.g., Steve Roper and Judge Parker); with others, you have lots of jarring changes in focus and incomprehensible action because about seventeen things are happening at once to people who all look alike (e.g., Gil Thorp).

Then there’s Spider-Man (or, perhaps more properly, The Amazing Spider-Man). I already know the basics about Spider-Man (he does everything a spider can, yadda yadda), and of course the superhero genre features its share of outlandish clothing, but I was definitely not prepared for that … outfit … that this “Kraven” person has on. I mean, where to start? With the textured cape, designed to look like a lion’s mane? With the cat-like eyes, strategically placed over the nipples? The chain across the front, over the washboard abs? The skintight leopard-print pants with matching arm and wrist bands? The animal-tooth studded belt?

In short, the dude is pretty fly. Despite the fact that he’s obviously dressed for supervilliany, though, this week’s Spider-Man mostly involves a rather pissy verbal exchange between Kraven and Spidey in front of the paparazzi. Presumably the ass-kicking will begin in due time.

Superhero comics are good for sound effects, too. Note the FWIPP in panel two — the extra P is for extra, um, spideryness. Also, Kraven may be some sort of bad-ass lion-themed criminal mastermind, but he still says “Sigh” aloud, Charlie Brown-style.

Post Content

The Phantom, 12/14/04

One of the defining characteristics of works of fiction is that they aren’t happening in the real world. That won’t come as a shock to most, but many authors find themselves berated by obsessive readers and/or viewers about unrealistic or inconsistent plot developments or details — like “The Enterprise just went to Warp 12, but they said earlier that you can’t go past Warp 10,” or “Nobody just passes out from their first hit of meth,” or “You can’t keep a tiger in a hotel room — where would it go to the bathroom?”

Well, this one’s for you, fanboys; I hope you’re happy. Better make that a real big housekeeping tip, Walker.