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My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she's quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It's actually quite alarming! We're getting into I'm a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I'm trying to make.

—els
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Fun phrases from Apartment 3-G that you can use in everyday life

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Apartment 3-G, 12/11/04

The comics aren’t just entertaining; they also offer models for living. For instance, what social interaction wouldn’t be enlivened by the use of the phrase “More zippers, mule!” Let’s think of a few examples:

TGIFridays waitress: Do you guys want some more jalapeño poppers, or…
You: More zippers, mule!
TGIFridays waitress: Um, OK…

Your boss: Hey, did you finish up those TPS reports?
You: More zippers, mule!
Your boss: Uh, yeah, you’re fired.

Highway patrolman: Did you know how fast your were driving?
You: More zippers, mule!
Highway patrolman: OK, boys, get the taser.

The possibilities are endless!

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Gosh, wonder what’s in the bag?

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Mark Trail, 12/10/04

Please be Indian artifacts. Please be Indian artifacts. Please be Indian artifacts.

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Sacre Bleu!

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Beetle Bailey, 12/9/04

For everyone who doubts that the French are a menace to all we hold dear in the good old US of A, I offer this installment of Beetle Bailey. Since they know that they can’t beat our military in a stand-up fight, we can here see that they are undermining our army’s preparedness. Sure, there are no actual French people in the comic, but Camp Swampy’s morale is being ravaged by ennui — an emotion so identified with the French that there isn’t even an English word for it. Quelle horreur!

(And a shout out to Nico “Speedo” Goerg in Gay Paree — we’re keeping an eye on you over there!)