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Mark Trail, 9/6/04

Superman was crippled by Kryptonite. Wonder Woman lost her powers when tied up. So it makes sense that Mark Trail, too, has a weakness. But who would have thought that the passion for the environment that makes him such a great outdoorsman would also undermine his ability to ferret out evil?

As you can see, in the today’s episode, our hirsute yacht captain is charming Mark by demonstrating his environmental awareness (and yes, it’s sad that not dumping trash directly into the sea qualifies as “environmental awareness”). The respect shown for Mother Earth even moves Mark to unleash an “as you know”-prefaced chunk of exposition. Meanwhile, he’s ignoring an obvious fact: that the captain has a beard, and (in the universe of Mark Trail, anyway) is therefore obviously evil. His villainy is confirmed by the two shaggy, swarthy fellows in the final panel. Hopefully Mark will be lulled out of his eco-friendly complacency in time to deliver his knockout punch.

For the record, today is Labor Day, and there were not one but two woman-going-into-labor-on-Labor-Day jokes in today’s comics section (B.C. and Gasoline Alley).

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Uncle Art’s Funland, 9/5/04

One of my favorite words in the English language is “avuncular.” It literally means “in the manner of an uncle,” which, since a substantial majority of males in this world are uncles, can denote just about anything. Usually, an avuncular person is like one of your fun uncles: pleasant, funny, maybe a little bit corny, but generally indulgent.

But some uncles, especially those who don’t have kids of their own, don’t really know what to do with children, and often come up with misguided ideas of what fun is for their nephews and neices. That, I’m afraid, is the kind of uncle that Uncle Art is. The “Riddles ‘n Giggles” are mostly execizes in cruelty, and the “Memory Game” is a collection of random, unrelated objects that Uncle Art presumably likes to draw. The contest, in the lower middle panel, is the final insult, though. As if the solution weren’t obvious enough, the feature’s tuxedo-clad mascot is holding the writing implement in question mere inches from the jumbled letters. Hey kids! The answer is “pencil!” Now let’s hope that the flood of correct answers in to Uncle Art’s Funland teaches him to make things harder next time.

Actually, I just noticed that the small print indicates that responses to this six-letter word jumble are judged on originality before accuracy! So maybe there’s more to this than meets the eye. Is Pilnec the brand name of a perscription medication they’re giving to kids with ADD these days?

As a final note, I’m wondering now if that dapper gentleman in the contest panel is supposed to be Uncle Art himeslf. Does he really work on this strip wearing a top hat and tails? God, I hope so.

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Beetle Bailey, 9/4/04

When Doonesbury’s B.D. lost his leg in Iraq and we saw him without his helmet on for the first time in that strip’s history, it had an enormous impact on readers. Seeing Beetle Bailey’s Sarge without his hat on is significantly less intriguing. Still, it’s interesting that the taskmaster drill sergeant, normally presented as Private Bailey’s persecutor, is here fervently praying to never see Beetle again. Maybe it’s like with bears: They’re more afraid of you than you are of them.

Also interesting is the fact that God has laughed in Sarge’s face, presenting him with the exact opposite of his most profound wish, causing him to rage against the arbitrariness of the universe. Here’s a tip, Sarge: if you’re gonna talk to the Almighty, put on some damn pants.