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Comment of the Week

I love that Uncle Herman's gravestone just says 'HERM,' entirely misunderstanding the purpose of memorials. Meanwhile, on the floor of a bowling alley, next to a gutter where no one can see it, there's a lovingly crafted plaque dedicated to 'Herman Nightjar Fishhawk, bowler, drinker, friend. He always bought the next round, and he loved conspiracy theories so much he married one.' I have to infer a few things about Herm's life, but that sounds about right.

—Victor Von
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Bang! Pow! Zap!

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Panels from Luann, Peanuts, and For Better Or For Worse, 11/17/05

As Brand and Toni share a tender moment, Snoopy exploits his best friend, and April desperately attempts to scrub the horror that is adolescence out of her face (you’ll never get it out, honey, you’ll never get it out), let’s take a moment to appreciate the subtle sound effects of the daily comics. Usually we associate comic noises with the sort of big, violent BIFFS and BAPS that result from the tangling of superhero and supervillain. But here they add texture to the more down-to-earth pursuits of the newspaper’s sequential protagonists. And the RAKES and the WASHES remind you that those everyday words are in fact onomatopoeic.

OK, have you taken your moment? Are you done appreciating? I just wanted to add one more thing before I go…

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/17/05

Have I mentioned that I’m starting to think that all the comics are about me?

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The Forths … after dark

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Sally Forth, 11/16/05

This, combined with this, is leading me to some disturbing conclusions. Hilary may not be everybody’s favorite Forth, but if not for her presence, Sally Forth would consist of nothing but nonstop, hardcore Forth-on-Forth action. And nobody wants that.

Except for Ted.

And probably Sally.

Being sensible folks, the Forths apparently keep an old-timey whale-oil lamp on hand for when their new refrigerator brings down the entire power grid in Forthville (yeah, “tree,” whatever). At first glance I thought it might be a bong, but I know that’s too much to ask. Darn kids ruin everything.

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This will not be your beautiful wife for much longer

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Mary Worth, 11/15/05

Yeah, reciting lines from a play! Or, you know, incredibly stilted dialogue from a lame soap opera comic!

OK, so because I am a little paranoid and self-important (aren’t these two sides of the same coin?) I wondered if “Josh” — who shares my name and hair color and penchant for trashing the dialogue in Mary Worth — weren’t a subtle homage to my greatness from the soapmeisters at King Features. I floated this theory to Mrs. C., who was with me until the part when I noted that this Josh was a workaholic.

Anyway, lots of good action in this strip — in motion line form! Watch out, Josh, Jane’s got a pointy nail heading right for your eye! He responds the only way he knows how — by grabbing her on the upper arms and rotating his freakishly oversized shoulders back and forth, hoping to somehow calm her down or at least induce motion sickness. Actually, with the big shoulders and the vibrating, it kind of looks like he’s wearing David Byrne’s big suit from the “Once In A Lifetime” video. Except this being Mary Worth, it’s been dyed electric blue for the occasion.