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Hagar the Horrible, 2/28/05

Okay, so I don’t claim to have any special insight into the creative process over at Hagar the Horrible Central, but I think the line of thought that led to today’s comic went something like this:

1. Come up with uproarious joke involving cannibal natives and Hagar and Lucky Eddie in a big cast-iron pot.
2. Realize that cannibal natives don’t fit into the carefully constructed and meticulously researched ninth-century AD European milieu of the strip.^*
3. Refuse to give up on joke because, I mean, you’ve already thought of it, and golf doesn’t just play itself.
4. Replace cannibal natives with random medieval-looking knights/villagers; replace pot with stakes.
5. Taste the hilarity!

*Yes, sometimes Hagar and Lucky Eddie are stranded on what appear to be tropical islands. I say they’re in the Mediterranean, off the coast of North Africa. The historical accuracy of Hagar the Horrible is not to be impugned! Feel free to impugn its humor level, though, because that’s generally very, very low.

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Hi and Lois, 2/27/05

My fiancée says that Hi’s bug-eyed, sweaty expression in the last panel is his “having fun” face. I say he’s out of his mind on helium. Look at Lois’ expression in the rightmost panel in the middle row: she knows that trouble’s brewing; clearly Hi has a longstanding “problem” whip-its and the like, and she’s been down that light-headed, squeaky-voiced road before. I don’t mean to blow the cover off the seamy side of an ostensibly family-friendly strip like this, but obviously substance abuse is the only logical explanation here: nobody has that much fun just blowing up balloons.

Also: Hi seems to have purchased his drug paraphernalia at a “Fun Store,” surely a euphemism for a head shop if I’ve ever heard one. Also also: Lois appears to be wearing black lipstick in the final frame, which both complements her skeletal visage and signifies her S&M lifestyle.

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Beetle Bailey, 2/26/05

Look at ’em! Bunch of lousy peacenik hippies! Not a decent pair of pants or shoes in the whole bunch!

On the bright side, though: tube tops. You don’t get those at a pro-war rally.

By the way, I know I live in a blue state and all, but do they actually have pro-war rallies? Like, people carrying signs that say “BOMB ‘EM” and stuff?

Anyway, this strip features Rocky, one of the lesser-used Beetle Bailey platoon members. The writers like to come up with a new one-dimensional character every few years and beat his lone joke to death slowly and painfully (good ol’ Chip Gizmo is current holder of this honor) before relegating him to the supporting cast. Rocky’s heyday must have been back in the 1950s or so, because he gets his name from the fact that he likes the durn “rock and roll” music that the kids are all hot and bothered about these days. I always confuse him with Killer, whose distinguishing characteristic is that he likes the ladies (he’s a ladykiller, get it?). If Killer were used in this strip, it might have made a vague sort of sense (yes, that midriff-baring pacifist again). As it is: sorry, but no.