Comment of the Week

Ex-wives, am I right? First they're not interested in your old junk because they've broken all attachments to you and are trying to move on from the emotional disruption of the divorce, but then they are interested in the regular payments you still make to them as compensation for the financial disruption caused by the divorce. This is a funny juxtaposition of two inconsistent positions ... ? Because they're women? Am I ... am I right?

Stuart F

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Apartment 3-G, 10/22/04

Well, as predicted by me and her mother, Margo’s lucrative new job hasn’t turned out the way she’d hoped. I haven’t been commenting on Apartment 3-G here lately because, when compared to the meth-happy wackiness in Mary Worth, it’s been pretty by-the-numbers. Margo falls afoul of her evil employer, tries to bluff her way out, led to the car at gunpoint, blah blah blah. Boooorrrring — that is, until we get to today’s baffling fight over the special pillow!

OK, a shiny virtual quarter goes to anyone who can explain to me what in God’s name is going on here. Who is the other not-Lloyd chauffer? Why does Lloyd keep a pillow in the trunk of Mr. Eldon’s death sedan? Why does Lloyd offer Margo a pillow, then insist that it’s his, then appear to take it out of the hands of the not-Lloyd chauffer — even though he’s the who’s holding it in the previous panel? The only way the last panel makes even a vague sort of sense is if the position of the two blue-clad henchmen were reversed — but even then Margo’s position would be inconsistent with the previous panels. This is one mystery that even Photoshop can’t solve.

Margo earns kudos for nimbleness in the first panel: she’s wearing a micro-miniskirt and her hands are tied up behind her back, but she’s still climbing into that trunk like a pro.

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I won’t pretend that it’s an easy life, reading the comics so you don’t have to. But every once in a while, I get an encouraging note from a dedicated reader that makes me realize that I’m making a difference in people’s lives. I received one such e-mail yesterday that I’d like to share with you. It’s unedited, except that I’ve obscured the e-mail address of my correspondent.

From: “Doc Martian” (docmartian @xxxx.com)
Date: October 20, 2004 3:46:30 PM EDT
To: (blogfrontp @jfruh.com)
Subject: ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP! ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

ANDY CAPP!

Doesn’t it bring a tear to your eye? There’s not much I can add to it, except to say: Yeah. Andy Capp.

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Willy ‘n Ethel, 10/21/04

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here’s what I want out of you, Willy ‘n Ethel: Jokes about the many reasons that and ways in which Willy gets fired, jokes about how fat and/or unpleasant Ethel’s sister is, jokes about how stupid Willy is, jokes about how lazy Willy is, and jokes about how Ethel can’t believe she’s married to Willy. I also want passing mentions of the names of Willy and Ethel’s pets (Bondo and Dogmeat), and strips in which Willy attempts to teach his nephew something and only ends up illustrating his own ignorance. (I know this last type of joke falls into the category of “jokes about how stupid Willy is,” but I like these strips and feel that they deserve a separate mention.)

Now, here’s what I don’t want out of you: Jokes about feeding mountains of corpses, or perhaps still-living condemned human beings, into hellish industrial machinery in order to reprocesses the very flesh and bones of our fellow men and women into some mysterious end-product that we either knowingly or unknowingly consume, implicating each one of us in this awful crime and transforming existence into a ghastly cannibalistic deathscape.

I don’t really think that’s a lot to ask, honestly.