Plugger horror
Pluggers, 4/12/07
In order to avoid projecting an image of snobbery, I’ll pass over the central point of today’s Pluggers to say … oh, God, no, I can’t. FOR PETE’S SAKE I JUST FOUND THREE JEWELRY BOXES ONLINE FOR UNDER TEN DOLLARS IN LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS OF SEARCHING! EVEN CHEAPER ONES ARE AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL SALVATION ARMY OR YARD SALE! IF YOU CAN AFFORD JEWELRY, YOU CAN AFFORD A REAL JEWELRY BOX! CHRIST!
Ahem. Moving on, if we really needed to depict a plugger making a show of her frugality by using an egg carton as a jewelry box, couldn’t the she-plugger called to duty have been the kangaroo-lady or the dog-lady or a lady of some species that doesn’t, you know, LAY FREAKIN’ EGGS? Because when I first saw this cartoon, I thought the caption was going to be “A plugger makes jewelry from the bones of her children.”
Luann, 4/12/07
I’m an only child, which, for the record, is awesome, as I never had to learn how to “share” or any of that crap. However, it means that I don’t really have an instinctual feel for how brother-sister relationships work. But I’m pretty sure that no brother has ever boasted to his sister about the sexual playground that is his enormous king-sized bed. Plus, I’m pretty sure that nobody ever has boasted to anyone about their “super quilted pillowtop”, whatever the hell that is. Dude, if you’re going to boast about your bed’s comfort features, trust me: it’s all about the thread count on the sheets. Though that’s really more an “impress them while they’re there” feature than a “get them in there” feature. You shouldn’t be bragging about it. Especially not to your sister. Ew.
Jack Parsons
April 12th, 2007 at 1:31 am
Shotgun!
“My name is Vera Kelrast. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Lynngineering
April 12th, 2007 at 1:35 am
Sorry, just was the last on the other thread, so repeat:
Spiderman: That thought-balloon must be the brick, waiting just off-stage, trying to pry some fan support to be called back in for the inevitable – its own daily newspaper comic. I still fully support it. But of course, I would be fine if it was flying in and hitting J.Jonah as well right this second.
FBOFW: Thursday, and Michael’s coma fantasy is in automatic. He’s in a hurry for whatever reasons. Jump-cut to the 4th panel, it’s Elly-the-editor, basically telling Michael in his dream, there’s nothing we can do, because YOU have made up your mind. And check out the “neighbor†in that scene, he’s winking to John, like a spy sent from Michael to signal his own characters, that †I KNOW how to make this happen, its MY world.†Dad looks at him a bit uneasy, as if to realize underneath his widowed neighbor lies something uncanny, like – hey,how did he know about his wish for the trains in the backyard??
Dee remains where Michael wants her, in the shadows.
Michael the author always slips up with characters and motives, just giving infos to whomever in his dream has to say them.
deeeeeeeeelightful
April 12th, 2007 at 1:38 am
Is it just me or do the people from the pluggers strip have a really skewered idea on how poor people actually live? Its like some person whose never been to a grocery store or never had to walk because various migrant servants carried them everywhere as children designed this strip, and fantasizes about how the nonwealthy actually live. I for one come from a whitetrash-style family, and we had jewelery boxes…….
Islamorada Girl
April 12th, 2007 at 1:41 am
A Plugger waits with bated breath to see if Liz will marry Granthony.
Octal
April 12th, 2007 at 1:46 am
“A plugger makes jewelry from the bones of her children.â€
…I didn’t even notice that. JESUS
Jym Dyer
April 12th, 2007 at 1:49 am
=3= Pluggers (deeeeeeeeelightful): I have a feeling that real Plugger entertainment is thinking up the most outlandish things you can and send them to Pluggers.
Tats
April 12th, 2007 at 1:52 am
MW: Welcome to Charterstone: Personal Boundaries Unrespected Since 1940!
Baldo: Baldo’s pretty nonchalant, considering the horrible car wreck that killed his mother. I guess it’s all collateral damage as long as Tia Carmen got some kumquats out of the deal.
JP: I know this has to be a tease, but I’m really excited to think that Abbey and Neddy are going to burn this dude’s face off. I’m such a sucker for the comix.
Luprand
April 12th, 2007 at 2:30 am
I think the quilted pillowtop refers to the kind of mattress.
BoShek
April 12th, 2007 at 2:36 am
Yay, new post! Takes the sting off the fact that I am doing Calculus at 3:30 AM. Sort of.
Shortpacked
April 12th, 2007 at 2:52 am
Forget Brad’s sexual boasts to his sister. I do that all the time, but only because my sister’s a prude and it pisses her off.
Really, I’m just here for the Funky incest.
(Funkcest?)
(Funkcest Winkerbangin’yersister?)
ponzicar
April 12th, 2007 at 2:55 am
The purpose of the jewelery in the egg cartons is security. Safes are too expensive, and the great depression has taught them that valuables are best kept within range of pa’s shotgun.
Gap Toothed \â€Hoo\†Guy
April 12th, 2007 at 3:03 am
I thought about the whole chicken/egg thing too, when i first saw that Pluggers. Does anyone even edit that panel? Because my family wasn’t rich or anything and we had jewelry boxes for the love of Pete.
ItAintEazy
April 12th, 2007 at 3:08 am
Yes, it’s time to rename the title of the “Pluggers” to “Yew Might Be A Redneck. . .”
no springs
April 12th, 2007 at 3:14 am
Pluggers have to hide their meager valuables in the least likely place lest their spouses steal and hock them.
Since most eggs aren’t fertilized, though, it’s really the equivalent of rolling up one’s jewelry in sanitary napkins. Just sayin’.
ianscot
April 12th, 2007 at 3:26 am
As the end came, Johnny Hart decided to show his true stripes: lazy “one character says the set-up like, the other says the punchline” jokes pining for the relative security of despotism would be just about right.
Meanwhile, Milton in “Archie” is wearing a t-shirt promoting self-checks for testicular cancer.
Frank Parsnip
April 12th, 2007 at 3:31 am
Pluggers then put the egg carton back into the fridge. My elderly grandmother used to periodically put her jewelry into kitchen pots and pans because her elderly “Plugger-ish” friends had shared among themselves a mythology that thieves break into houses and use metal detectors to find hidden jewelry.
As in Plugger households only the women cook, egg cartons and kitchen pots are likely a safe place to hide jewelry from quick-to-hock husbands.
Non-pluggers don’t hide their jewelry in the fridge because our body piercings are far too tender.
Albtraum
April 12th, 2007 at 3:57 am
Brad must really be anticipating some wild nights in that bed… he seems to have put a tiny quilted pillowcase on his phone/alarm clock. And carpeted his lamp. Fewer cuts and scrapes that way. Or more rug burn, I dunno. Both?
efab
April 12th, 2007 at 3:57 am
Both sets of my grandparents are rather Pluggerly and I’ve never heard of this egg carton thing.
Re 16 (Frank Parsnip)–Quick-to-hock husbands!? Seeing as how those husbands were the most likely givers of said jewelry, that’s pretty damn lame. Even for Pluggers.
Shouldn’t Pluggers have jewelry made of twine and sea shells anyway?
jake!
April 12th, 2007 at 4:05 am
It looks like the secret message of Pluggers is that the Ted Kennedy bird from Shoe is in fact a cross-dresser. From hell’s heart MacNelly stabs at thee, Kennedy!
CrabbyGenes
April 12th, 2007 at 4:13 am
About #10, by Shortpacked…
Suddenly everything becomes clear to me. You other Curmudgeons have probably have been following this FW storyline all along, but I have been reading FW half-heartedly, only because Josh and many of you frequently comment on it, not really caring much about it, but wondering, vaguely, why the two kids who seem about to get it on (but don’t) look so much alike.
Apparently, the physical similarity is intentional! And this strip is headed, so typically Winkerbeanianly, for yet another DARK storyline–the possibilities of/ ramifications of/ (whatever of)–INCEST!!
I hope I never meet this guy Bautiuk, (or whatever the spelling is if I got it wrong). He’s gotta be at the dark, dark end of the optimist/pessimist scale.
You (Curmudgeons) all probably already knew this, right? I will be so happy if anybody tells me that you didn’t get it either until now, but I bet you all knew this already.
In my family, when someone hasn’t been following a running conversation and asks a question or makes a comment indicating such, someone else always says, “There’s always some poor dumb slob that doesn’t get the word,” (and then everybody laughs). Today I feel like that poor, dumb slob…
PS Is this the equivalent of belatedly remarking that Aldo Kelrast looks like Captain Kangaroo? (Don’t answer that.)
bitey
April 12th, 2007 at 4:15 am
As a gal opposed to both incest and cannabalism, I’m going to go on record with a vocal “gah,” coupled with shuddering and a rousing rendition of the heeby-jeeby dance.
Dorianne
April 12th, 2007 at 5:04 am
Oh my effing GOD, Mary Worth! BACK OFF! WTF is the matter with you?
“I won’t take no for an answer”? Is Mary Worth channelling the ghost of Aldo Kelrast or something? Because this is starting to look like a harassment case waiting to happen.
(I never read Mary Worth in my LIFE until this blog came along. Curses be upon you, Josh.)
Gerritt
April 12th, 2007 at 5:05 am
Brother of a sister to only child, I’d like to play down the creepiness of making sexual jokes of questionable taste to your sister. I would certainly make statements like that to my sister, if I were a cretin.
willethompson
April 12th, 2007 at 5:35 am
‘Pluggers’ has played fast and loose at the fringes of anthropomorphism, but this one takes it. If I’m reading this one right, a homo sapiens plugger stores her jewelry in her baby’s crib…
with a side of bacon.
Sheilagh
April 12th, 2007 at 5:38 am
You know, if you’re too cheap to buy a jewelry box, various other boxes do come your way once in a while, that are much prettier than egg cartons. Christmas card boxes, maybe. Or chocolate boxes.
As a sister of three brothers, I can testify that they’d say any old gross-out thing to me, but their sex lives were still off-limits. As was mine. That Luann stuff is icky. And that’s not a king-size bed.
Jamus The Bartender
April 12th, 2007 at 5:51 am
FOOB: So….this is what it all comes down to. The problem…as Keanu Reeves so haltingly said once…is choice. Elly has the choice…to make everyone else happy…and grant them their freedom…by buying the liddle house next door…so John can run his trains…and….Michael can write his bad books and raise his hellspawn…Liz will HAVE to move out…April will get her own room again for two years until college. If….she does NOT…Mike will have to buy it…and….April will drink cheap wine with every fumble handed kid from Nova Scotia to British Columbia and grant them special favors. Even the gap toothed kid.
Either way, the Pattersons will no longer be under her thumb.
All thanks to the guy who even looks a little like Wilford Brimley.
Elly….do the right thing.
Go shave some sheets while you think about it.
Luann: Okay. In all seriousness, I didn’t think Brad was bragging about his conquests until you folks mentioned it. I thought that was in reference to his being a fireman and on call or doing fire station duty. But…yeah. Ew.
Pluggers: Before he passed away, Pluggers was a favorite strip of my dad’s. Liver problems if it matters. Dad had a liking for the drink, and this was ten years ago now, so…Anyhoo, he liked reading Pluggers, it was charming without being offensive, true to his life in many ways, so i’ve usually given Pluggers a free pass to rip on April Patterson.
Until now. My GOD…A chicken using an egg carton to hold jewelry? “Bones of her children ” indeed…Ew.
reader-who-posts
April 12th, 2007 at 5:58 am
Having an empty egg carton would imply that she ate those eggs before using the carton. In other words, Pluggers eat their young.
smacky
April 12th, 2007 at 6:14 am
A3G: C’mon now, if this storyline doesn’t end in someone finally discovering Luann’s bloated, blue corpse, I’ll be very disappointed. She’s spent the last two weeks (in comic strip time, no less!) alternating between hallucinating and passing out.
And why does the narrator say, “Alan takes a small object from his pocket and…” when it is clearly a key. When did A3G become Slylock “find the key and rescue Luann from having her brain transferred into a raccoon (like anyone would notice the difference anyway)†Fox?
Kurdt
April 12th, 2007 at 6:18 am
We’ve finally found out how you qualify for Pluggerdom: You have to be bat-shit insane.
Goaty
April 12th, 2007 at 6:21 am
MT- Has anyone noticed how much faster it is to fly on the back of a giant goose, then, say to take the same airline Mary Worth did?
Pozzo
April 12th, 2007 at 6:24 am
Just to give Brad the benefit of the doubt, both panels show his fireman patches pretty prominently, so the line about getting to sleep in his bed occasionally may refer to the fact that he spends a lot of nights at the firehouse.
Nah…he’s hitting on his sister.
yeti
April 12th, 2007 at 6:25 am
In today’s MW, first panel: Vera is about to take a great big bite out of the pie as-is. Why else would she hold it at that height, with her mouth so bizarrely wide? No wonder she looks irritated in the second panel- she’d forgotten that Mary was still standing there.
Or, maybe, someone just can’t draw?
Kenny
April 12th, 2007 at 6:34 am
Pluggers: They do have a pretty skewed and ill-distributed view of wealth. I don’t expect to see something like “A Plugger has no room in their 3-car-garage for the new Lexus due to the collection of egg cartons and old newspapers”. Really though, with all the money they’re saving housing jewelry in foamboard cartons they may soon have enough for a new vehicle.
GotFuzzy
April 12th, 2007 at 6:37 am
MW–I think Vera is just inhaling the pie’s aroma, not trying to take a big ol’ bite. Or maybe someone can’t draw.
(DT)GT–Is the last panel a flashback? So now we have to keep track of multiple time-lines? Can we at least get someone to limp, like in The Prestige, to make it a little easier? But Branden has come a long way–she managed to regenerate a hand on the stump of her right arm, and found a glove to fit the foot on her left arm. Or maybe somebody can’t draw.
PBS–The sumo squirrels make up for everything.
Mr. Coffee Nerves
April 12th, 2007 at 6:39 am
If a Plugger wife is expected to keep her jewelry in an egg carton, exactly what kind of quality is the jewelry itself?
“Hey, honey, I brought you home the thumb of a guy from the bar. He said that Dale Junior was better at Talledega than Dale Senior, so I smashed a bottle of Pabst over his head. Sure, he was my brother, but some things just need Plugger justice!”
In FOOBland, the strip clearly should end at Panel 4 — Elly’s Mutant Nagging Power has spoken! (and what’s up with the doodle over the doorway in panel 1? Is that a chandelier nailed to the doorframe? Did Lynn forget to erase her guidelines?)
Finally…in panel 5 I’m pretty sure George has a handful of pasty white Canuck dentist ass.
William Sommerwerck
April 12th, 2007 at 6:44 am
Even worse… The implication is that this plugger eats her unborn children. Or someone else’s.
willethompson
April 12th, 2007 at 6:46 am
RMMD: Heather wailed, “But Avery International is a defense contractor…I need a security clearance!”
June pressed her fingers to her temples until she felt her brains compress. The company that had contracts for the Invisible Soldier/2020 project, the muon-particle attack laser and was harvesting the core technologies taken from the Area 51 garage sale, was about to get a nanny as a CEO. And all Heather the Genetically Blonde Au Pair could do was swing her formidable knockers at the secret-wielding chauffeur (who apparently kept the keys to the kingdom in the glove box of the Bentley) and babble something about a security clearance??
“It came through the day Mr. Avery proposed to you!”
June bit her tongue hard enough to taste blood. It took HER three months to get a passport and five days to get a handgun permit (sometimes Nikki needed to be ‘coerced’ into a good garage cleaning), but Blondie McBimbo got her governmental blessing to root through boxes of Roswell documentation and check the schedule for testing at China Lake along with her 12 carat engagement ring? As if she was going to fly to Avery’s HQ holding her Mary Poppins flying umbrella (another Avery ‘black projects’ prototype, codename SegwayUltra) and ride the stair rail up to the third floor to tour the oompha-loompa cloning lab????
“As I said, he prepared for every contingency!”
June’s eyes rolled like the toes of the Wicked Witch of the East under a Kansas farmhouse. Every contingency?? His A-plan was to put someone in charge of his company who had to be rescued from the shower because she got locked in a do-loop from reading the shampoo instructions (”Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”)? As if a $300 million company didn’t have a few senior VPs that could fill the leadership gap until the board met??? Hell, what was the B-plan? Hire the pointy-haired boss away from Dilbert?????
Quietly, June backed out of the room and got her broker on the phone. “Sell our position in Avery International! NOW! Screw the bid/ask, just dump it! Because if you don’t do that in the next fifteen minutes, I’ll be holding 14,000 shares of highly stamped and engraved toilet paper!” Then she crept back in and chirped politely, “Well! Isn’t this exciting! How about come crumb cake and coffee to get our energy up? Won’t take a minute!” Stall them, she screamed to herself, just buy enough time for the stock to sell. “Would you like cream with that?”
Motorposus
April 12th, 2007 at 6:59 am
My grandmother, who would be over 100 if she were still alive, kept her jewelry in–gasp!–egg cartons. She had a real jewelry box for real jewelry, but kept the costume stuff organized in lid-less cartons inside a dresser drawer. That way everything was easy to see, and the pieces didn’t get tangled up with each other.
So, okay, my grandmother may have been a Plugger. But she was not a chicken lady.
TurtleBoy
April 12th, 2007 at 7:02 am
Pluggers: given the usual stock of Pluggers characters, what could top this? The other regulars are, as Josh pointed out, kangaroos and dogs, as well as bears and rhinos…I guess the rhino plugger (whose name is “Carl,” if memory serves) could star in a panel revolving around the use of rhinoceros horn in exotic aphrodisiacs. But how could that be fit in in a Plugger-like fashion? What in boxcarsaturn is a plugger aphrodisiac, NASCAR-themed thong underwear? Low-grade, homemade meth? Does Plugger porn feature Wrestlemania outtakes and footage from monster truck rallies?
jules
April 12th, 2007 at 7:32 am
Pluggers: That giant bespectacled chicken freaks me out more than any other Plugger. Seriously.
A3G: We all know Blaze’s theme song by now – but who knew Alan had one? Everybody! “In a little while from now… if I’m not feeling any less sour…I promise myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower…”
FOOB: Once again, Dee is not consulted about the next big change in her life. The 98-year-old man down the street is, but she isn’t. One of these days, this poor put-upon woman is totally going to snap, and she’ll put her pharmaceutical skills to good use. At least, I hope so.
MW: Ah, it’s Mary’s special-recipe Apple Pie with Cocaine Sprinkles! I assume so, anyway, from the way Vera is trying to stuff the entire pie up her nose.
Calico
April 12th, 2007 at 7:34 am
JP – this is becoming SO Quentin Tarantino. I guess this is the payoff coming after weeks of riding the Metro/walking.
DtM – not bad. +1 point for the dark grape juice, though it appears Mum Mitchell had a brain fart and forgot to buy white grape juice.
Mary Borg – the beast is trying, trying to assimilate Vera. Pie first, mindfuck later.
FOOB – that look on Stibbs’ face in panel 4 – it’s the “Charterstone Look.”
Tweeks_Coffee
April 12th, 2007 at 7:36 am
A3G: This tedium could go on for the better part of a month.
Should I?
Nah.
Well, maybe…
She wouldn’t be interested.
The again, she hasn’t had a man in a dozen years or so…
Wait, I’m gay.
GF: Can I just say how much I love these parody album covers they’re running right now.
(DT)GT: The concepts of cute or attractive are completely lost in this strip. Also; Branden? has anyone ever named their daughter Branden in the history of the world?
MT: So Mark’s going to follow her out of the country to try to catch Dan? This guy’s freaking committed!
MW: Vera’s about to smash that pie square into Mary’s smug face.
The Avocado Avenger
April 12th, 2007 at 7:36 am
#20 CrabbyGenes – I only read FW half-heartedly myself, but I kind of knew this was coming when we discovered that the baby Lisa gave up was adopted by Fred the principal. I assumed Darin was dating his own sister when the storyline started, because FW “goes there,” as they say on Degrassi.
AhClem
April 12th, 2007 at 7:38 am
Come on, Vera, take that pie and paste the old biddy in the puss with it. From the way you’re holding it, I know you want to.
Squawk
April 12th, 2007 at 7:43 am
JP: What’s most amazing is how Neddy has managed to keep her beret on her head throughout this whole ordeal.
Tabby Lavalamp
April 12th, 2007 at 7:46 am
Say what you will, but it seems that Pluggers are also surprisingly liberal about reproductive choice. Just to make it clear though, Mr. Falwell, pro-choice does not equal eating your own aborted embryos or fetuses.
AAckTTpth
April 12th, 2007 at 7:47 am
Note to comics writers: resolving a plot you started a *year* ago – too long. RMMD, in it’s glacial pacing, usually gets things wrapped up in a few months. Even JP is moving along, despite the fact that Neddy & Abbey have been in that damned closet for a week (note to author: if you are drawing punks, draw Doc Martens, not a generic black combat boot; a nod to Sham 69 would be a nice touch, too, since you are drawing oi punks).
Thank [Pastis] for sumo squirrels. Lynn needs to be beaten with a frozen ham.
Allie Cat
April 12th, 2007 at 7:49 am
Luann: What you don’t see, hidden under one of those goosedown orthopedically correct pillows on Brad’s bed is a slightly crusty tube sock. I’m sorry Brad, but you MADE me say it.
I want Brad to get laid more than he does, probably, but chances are, he’s putting out his own fire on a nightly basis.
Red Greenback
April 12th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Pluggers: “EGGS” is written upside down on the carton.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 12th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Luann: Brad’s been watching too much “MTV Cribs.” Luckily his sister is there to remind him that this is not where the magic happens.
Popeye: Wow!http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070412&name=Popeye Popeye aims to outdo Tyler Jay in the theatrical self-mutilation sweepstakes.
TBMEL: Yeah, like your Burger Clown counter guy is going to give you a rundown on where everything was made. In the unlikely event that the guy reads Z Magazine on his own time, he’s still got management eavesdropping on him.
DtM: Dennis stains the carpet. His mom forces him to sit on his ass while she tries to scrub it clean. What am I missing here?
A3G: Alone again on a familiar street, Alan sees an opportunity to advance the plot. He does not take that opportunity. Not the end. Sigh.
HtH: Hagar would just be thrilled that they got free watermelon.
MW: “I won’t take no for an answer.” Somewhere, Dr. Jeff is saying “Can I get an amen?”
Phantom: The ghost who walks. Well not right now, but you get the general idea.
Archie: The school lets Dilton Doily wear a shirt with a bong on it? Du-u-ude!
Reepicheep-chan
April 12th, 2007 at 8:15 am
My brother tells me about how he is going to give girls ‘the Snoz.’
Katherine
April 12th, 2007 at 8:15 am
The reason Vera looks so cranky in panel 2: Wouldn’t you be pissed off if your old lady neighbor with inappropriate boundaries bribed you with pie and then grabbed your ass?
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070412&name=Mary_Worth
Dennis Jimenez
April 12th, 2007 at 8:20 am
Archie – In our HS, they wouldn’t let a student wear a sweatshirt with a bong on it.
Luann – I’m very creeped out.
Pluggers – A burgler in a plugger home know right where to go for the valuables – a much better neighborhood.
JP – That firey red-head Abbey is more than ready to blow when that knob comes shooting out.
athena
April 12th, 2007 at 8:24 am
Re. Funky Winkerbean: How is the blond chick who Darin was making out with related to him? I thought she was Jennifer the cheerleader and not someone who is related biologically to Lisa or Darin? Help!
Damn you, Tom Batiuk, for making me mull over this when I should be editing an article about Internet platforms…or should I say, Thank you, Tom Batiuk, for making me mull over this when I should be editing an article about Internet platforms.
Spoony Bard
April 12th, 2007 at 8:30 am
So many comics, so little time:
Does that nerd in Archie have a bong on his shirt? I think he has a bong on his shirt. Now we know why all the “cool” kids hang out with him rather than mocking him and trying to exclude his thinkin’ meats from their reindeer games.
Apartment 3-G continues is macbre dance with will they/won’t they save Luann. Hey, he might…he’s headed for the door aaaaaaannd…nope, still dead.
This may be an understated first, but Joy and Burl from Dinette Set appear to have actually outsmarted someone. This is like a Plugger with ripped abs complaining that he can’t decide which Rolex goes with the suit he plans to wear.
Family Circus has now entered the realm of wish fulfillment. My only regret is that we don’t know where Billy hit Jeffy. I’d like to think it was a solid right-cross to the face.
Kudos to La Cucaracha for the ATHF reference in panel 1. I have nothing else to add, I just think that’s cool.
And lastly, Mark Trail. In panel 3 it becomes clear that the Jackball is a co-conspirator in Mark’s premeditated murder. I just hope that this strip continues with the Mark narration. “Okay, now she’s getting in to the car; maybe she’ll lead me to Dan.” “Now we’re at the cemetary; maybe this is where she’s meeting Dan.” “She’s putting flowers on a grave labeled ‘Dan’; maybe that’s some coded sign.” “Hmm, I’ll probably have to dig up that grave, Dan may be hiding in there.”
Weasel Boy
April 12th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Off-topic, but today’s Pluggers made me think of it: I was on “Jeopardy” nine years ago, and I gave the correct correct response on the very first clue: “Attention Tiger Woods, Heloise hints that you can store these in egg cartons.” Since the category was ” ‘G’- Whiz,” I felt pretty confident ringing in and replying “What are golf balls?” – and then thinking to myself “who the hell puts golf balls in egg cartons?” Now I know.
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 8:32 am
43- And once it’s been there, there’s no coming back.
MW- “I hope you didn’t go to any trouble.” “No, I’m a fantastic cook.” If you will excuse me, it’s easy as pie to bake a pretty pie.
albuqwirkymom
April 12th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Wonder if Mrs. Plugger ate those eggs with fava beans and a nice chianti?
Jlu
April 12th, 2007 at 8:40 am
“I might even sleep in it sometimes…once I get this bedwetting habit under control.”
“I might even sleep in it sometimes…once I get tired of mastubating to Star Trek episodes on my laptop.”
“I might even sleep in it sometimes…if Mr. Teddy Tedderson will let me.”
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 8:45 am
No way that is a bong on Dilton’s sweatshirt. As much as I’d like it to be, where’s the stem et al.? More in keeping with his character it’s either a round version of an erlenmeyer flask or a thermometer, perhaps displaying his core temperature, or a gauge of his experience points.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 8:45 am
#52 – meself, not so much pissed as just really, really weirded out, like a lesbian dream gone horribly, horribly wrong. Gaaaaah.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 12th, 2007 at 8:45 am
#37, willethompson, that was beautiful A look into the demonic whirring of June Morgan’s mind.
calico
April 12th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Shiite, 61 was me. Wiped out my binary biscuits and bagels for a moment while housecleaning.
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Today’s Zits grosses me out. Besides the overall ickiness of all-over sunless tanner, if it’s rubbing off on her bear and turning it yellow, wouldn’t it also be rubbing off all over her bed and sunlessly tanning them, too? Plus, as if being screaming cadmium orange (http://www.welovecelebs.com/wp/news/good-friday-links-orange-xtina/) was not undesirable enough, she will now be blotchy. Enjoy the mental image while you can, Jeremy, because Sara is going to look like a budget Oompa Loompa soon.
calico
April 12th, 2007 at 8:53 am
#37 Wille – a “Do-Loop.”
Priceless.
Harold
April 12th, 2007 at 8:56 am
Silly Plugger. Everybody knows that you use a candy box for jewelry. Especially a Whitman’s Sampler box with a hinged lid.
John C Fremont
April 12th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Went to the Foob site, ’cause I was just sure that Winky McOld Guy from the last panel would be one of the blinking characters – but no one was blinking! Geez, that’s a first – someone commenting that the characters on the official Foob site DON’T blink.
JP – Abbey and Neddy are gonna fire up that blow torch and (insert French cooking / French Fry joke here).
Adam
April 12th, 2007 at 9:01 am
Oooh – I just thought of the best/worst plugger ever!
“A plugger’s ASPCA is a burlap bag.” Let your mind run wild on that one!
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Reader who posts: Eggs in cartons are unfertilized, so she’s actually eating her menstruations.
Walky: It’s Funkycest.
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Ack, wasn’t done.
Anyhow, the Pluggers cousin strip Shoe also makes a joke today that completely ignores the anthromorphic aspect of the strip. The only time I ever see them pay attention to this is in Pluggers, if there’s a dog joke, the dog owner is never a dog. For now.
And yes, I’ve heard of people hiding their jewelry in odd places around the kitchen. I believe there was even a Golden Girls episode about it.
Suburban Legend
April 12th, 2007 at 9:16 am
MW- “I won’t take no for an answer” The fact that Mary started using Aldo’s old catchphrase is proof that after Mary Worth has slain her victims, she takes their powers for her own evil uses.
man behind the curtain
April 12th, 2007 at 9:17 am
MW — Is it time for another Charterstone intervention? Vera will be locked in mary’s apartment with Chinbeard, Toebee, Willl-burr, et al until she spills her guts out. Do something Vera. Throw the pie at Mary. Save yourself or even just kill yourself. Anything to spare you the agony of dinner at Mary’s.
RMMD — You would think that in this day and age, wealthy as he is, Milton would have had heather sign a pre-nup.
FBOW — The dangers of doing business with family. Mike will buy his parents’ house. And then when things begin to fall apart, as they always do with older houses, he will be resentfull that they stuck him with a money pit.
LuAnn — Obviously more interesting if LuAnn walked in on Toni Daytona between the sheets. Or better yet, Berniece.
Mibbitmaker
April 12th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Pluggers 4/12: Originally, I was going to write “It’s okay… she’s a ‘pro-choice’ chicken.”
But since that concept (no pun intended!) has already been taken, I’ll say that, instead, she’s a ‘pro-life’ chicken who had initially purchased the eggs in order to “free” them, but after about 11 eggs splattered on the sidewalk, she began to have her doubts about the method of activism. Needless to say, she called ‘Operation Reggscue’ and gave them an earfull.
teegee
April 12th, 2007 at 9:19 am
#28 … A3G: C’mon now, if this storyline doesn’t end in someone finally discovering Luann’s bloated, blue corpse, I’ll be very disappointed.
Dang, I was going to type that about Luann.
bootsybooks
April 12th, 2007 at 9:22 am
# 37, Wille, that was splendid!
calico
April 12th, 2007 at 9:28 am
If not Borgian, then Mary’s pie is an evil retaliatory-bad-energy pie, like in S. King’s book “Thinner.”
“Mary, why is your pie pulsing like that? It’s almost-breathing! Aaaaaauuuugggghhhh!”
Meanwhile
April 12th, 2007 at 9:29 am
You know what else Pluggers do? They love going to those greasy barbecue places whose mascots are smiling pigs, feasting on the ribs of their less fortunate brethren. Stupid pig, don’t you know you’re next?
Wow, you know what would be the coolest thing ever? A pig Plugger, painting the sign for such an establishment. That is now my official dream panel for this horrifying comic.
Gryph
April 12th, 2007 at 9:31 am
I think that as a tribute, and an expression of her guilt, Mary has decided to take up the mantle of Charterstone stalker from Aldo. Aldomania 07 is going to be a tribute album.
Dennis Jimenez
April 12th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Arbeit macht frei.
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 9:35 am
Has there ever been a pig plugger? Probably, I thought they only stuck to about 5 archetypes, but there was a cat plugger the other week, so maybe.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
April 12th, 2007 at 9:37 am
First, I’m liking Jackie in SF, especially calling Sally on her terrifyingly outmoded hairstyle. (Although I have to ask if it was ever in style…)
More importantly: does Greg Evans have any clue whatsoever what a bachelor guy’s bed looks like? It looks as if Brad’s moved into a Holiday Inn. Look at how perfectly everything’s tucked in, the frilly corners hanging over the edge…yep, the whole thing just exudes rockin’-single-guy-ness. Oh, and that lamp on the side-table? Better if it were shaped like a female leg and clad in fishnets, don’t you think?
Calvin
April 12th, 2007 at 9:39 am
#72 LuAnn — Obviously more interesting if LuAnn walked in on Toni Daytona between the sheets. Or better yet, Berniece.
Or, even better, Berniece’s newly discovered brother, whose scandalous 12 emails to LuAnn were all just an attempt to get into Brad’s pants. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Oh who am I kidding, noone in LuAnn ever gets laid, they just dance around with these ridiculous go-nowhere crushes. Except maytbe Dirk.
gkl
April 12th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Pluggers: Isn’t it possible that dangling from that chain that quasi-lady glove-head Plugger is putting into the egg carton is… an egg? Might Pluggers believe that things that come out of a chicken’s butt are suitable for jewelry, or is that theory too far-fetched even for this crazed tooniverse?
rich
April 12th, 2007 at 9:43 am
DT: So where has that handy new assistant Lt. Teevo been all this time? Back at headquarters writing “While You Were Out” telephone memos as Tracy battles for his life?
britbike
April 12th, 2007 at 9:50 am
As far as the jewelry hiding goes, I became a fan after being burgled. I lost everything that was in the box–the stuff I had tucked away from sheer paranoia I still have.
A distant friend of a friend got so paranoid about being robbed that she had a secret hidey hole put in her closet for her jewelry–then decided it wasn’t really safe because the carpenter knew about it. After she died her very greedy relatives searched everywhere and couldn’t find her jewelry. There was nothing in the hidey hole. Maybe they should have checked the fridge.
Nina
April 12th, 2007 at 9:59 am
#72 Man behind the curtain, Not only will it be a money pit, Ma and pop Patterson will co sign the loan for mememememichael. His book will fail miserably, and he will not be able to make the payments. They will be making loan payments on a house that they already payed off 10 years ago!
fishmorgjp
April 12th, 2007 at 10:00 am
The Pluggers egg-carton gag would be better if it referred instead to the multiple prescription pills that are often placed in compartment boxes.
Emily
April 12th, 2007 at 10:03 am
LuAnn: I actually LIKE this joke! And there are totally brothers and sisters who talk that way. AND ones that don’t do anything about it afterwards.
Bill Peschel
April 12th, 2007 at 10:04 am
As amusing as Funkycest can be, it doesn’t seem likely (although it says something that we’d assume it isn’t beyond Batiuk’s reach, eh?).
Jennifer is the daughter of John Darling. Darin is Lisa’s son. The only way the family way is involved would be if John Darling and Lisa were getting it on, and even then it should still be legal in Alabama.
TheBigSmoke
April 12th, 2007 at 10:05 am
10 > Of course it would take the genius of David Willis to notice the trap of “forbidden love” we’re all being led into. Now how do Grandma’s “secret comics” figure into to all of this. Should we dare to ask? Can we afford not to?
And in a creepy “must be a full moon” double defense:
1. “hiding one’s jewelry in an egg-carton in the frige thing” was indeed once a big fad in rural areas throughout the Canadian praries and (I’d assume) the American midwest — although I tend to think of it as an anachronisim now that people can afford, you know, LOCKS.
2 (a)Pillowtop matresses are totally the bomb. Basically you take a stiffer matress, but then put a couple of inches of awesome-space-foam ™ or whatever that stuff is on top so you can match the comfort of a softer matress with the support of a stiffer one.
(b) Pillow top covers can either be bought as part of the mattress, or added on as slip covers after the fact.
(c) I take sleep *very* seriously.
Baldo Foob
April 12th, 2007 at 10:08 am
“I might even SLEEP in it sometimes… when my arm develops a cramp from masturbating”
Plugmein
April 12th, 2007 at 10:11 am
I think that plugger wives keep the family jewels on ice until they need another omelet.
Chupper
April 12th, 2007 at 10:11 am
#39 TurtleBoy – Pluggers don’t believe in sex education, so the Rhinos use their horns instead of penises. Pluggers go extinct due to sexual ignorance.
rich
April 12th, 2007 at 10:13 am
S4th — Glad to see even the Sally Forth people acknowledging their character’s hideous hairstyle. The company, however, has too much capital invested in current marketing concerns to consider updating that iconic image. Think of all the Sally Forth dolls, Halloween masks, board games and IUDs they’d have to recall — not to mention the giant Talking Sally Forth statue in Kingfeatureland’s House of Horrors!
TDIET — “…but, heh heh, when he can’t find his copy, then who does he ask? Why, none other than me, Peter “Slobbo” Maxwell of Denver Colorado!”
O’Fogeyette
April 12th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Oh, boxcar. I might as well confess. When I was a teenager, I used an egg carton for my jewelry. It worked extremely well. And was way less bulky than a whole fancy-schmancy jewelry case with satin lining and all that bullsaturn. So does this make me a plugger? I swear I have never laid an egg in my life.
DTGT: The aliens who are trying to pass for human in this strip do not even know that humans generally have different names for males and females. Hence, “Branden,” the tennis-playing alien who is trying out for softball. Although she looks much more like a female than the other supposed “girls” I’ve seen, but not particularly human.
MT: It’s a really good thing Jack Elrod includes narrative boxes explaining what the characters are doing and thinking, and then reinforces the explanations with direct conversations from the characters to themselves. Otherwise we, the dimwitted readers, would never figure it out. Mark suspects Sally is going to meet her husband out of the country. Further, he hopes that she will lead him to Dan. Without Elrod’s helpful hints I would have assumed that Mark was visiting Sally to talk about the good old days before Dan jumped in the lake, and that he would then buy some Girl Scout cookies from Sally’s valise.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 10:28 am
#28 smacky
That object in A3G clearly isn’t a key. It’s one of these:
http://www.luckymojo.com/raccoonpenis.html
[SFW? Maybe. No pictures to worry about.]
Alan’s ready (almost) to get his mojo working.
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Isn’t Old Man Mozz waxing Michael Buffer with his intro?
In this corner – The Immortal Ghost Who Walksssss… and in the green corner Mister Day Trader Ruthless Killerrrrr….Let’s get ready to rumble! I see a skull mark scar in Mister Killer’s near future.
Vera Shields appears to have an eating disorder the way she plunges her face into the apple pie doggie style in panel one. Perhaps Mary Worth is onto something with her food meddling technique.
Helen Avery has quite the mammalian protuberances. That’s a balcony you could read Shakespeare on!
Trent
April 12th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Archie: The kid with glasses may be the smartest kid in school, but that doesn’t mean he’s not hip. He’s so ‘in’ he has a bong screen-printed on his sweater.
B.C.: I have no problems speaking ill of the dead. Am I the only one who detects a sense of wistful longing in Curl’s answer to “What’s the difference between monarchy and democracy?”
Crankshaft: Come off it, Crankshaft, you’re not an informed voter and you don’t ‘have’ to watch the debates or press conferences. You know you’re just going to vote for whoever you think is going to oppose gay marriage.
Mary Worth: Dealing with Mary is like dealing with a vampire, only worse. Both will suck the life from your body but Mary can invite herself into your house.
dimestore lipstick
April 12th, 2007 at 10:50 am
I think Weasel Boy is onto something.
My first reaction to this Pluggers was Chicken + Egg Carton = GAAAAHHH!, but my second was “I can almost guarantee that Joy Schofield has a copy of Hints From Heloise gracing her bookshelf.”
Speaking of which–does anyone else remember Hints From Heloise as a Sunday comics feature? I seem to remember it running that way in the Des Moines Register, back in the 60s and 70s.
Missy
April 12th, 2007 at 10:57 am
If you were a Plugger (no!) would you find Pluggers funny? Clearly I find it funny laughing and saying, “Who would do that?” But for the people who do live as Pluggers why would they find Pluggers funny? It would be like me reading a strip called, “Middle class girl” where it said ,”Middle class girl often keeps her jewlery in a jewlery box”. I suppose that the Plugger’s might read that and laugh, “Oh those middle class people buying fancy boxes to put their stuff in” but I would just shrug.
MW: Being new to the site I’ve just discovered Mary Worth. I’m looking back through the archives and am now having Aldomania. And reading what’s going on now I can’t help but assume this is going to end with Mary driving off a cliff and nobody feeling bad at all about it.
Steve S
April 12th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Given that Brad and Luann are both seemingly entirely (and unwillingly) celibate over the course of decades as perpetual teenagers, they probably do have a pretty twisted psychosexual dynamic going on.
As for Pluggers, it needs to stop using chickens entirely. Real Pluggers don’t approve of chickenfolk. There’s nothing wrong with ‘em, they’re just not wanted ’round these parts.
Barking Spider Brewery
April 12th, 2007 at 11:00 am
When the punching starts in MT, and there will be punching, will we be able to tell if Mark’s wearing his stalker diaper by the outline of his pants or the look of discomfort on his face?
Mack
April 12th, 2007 at 11:01 am
The egg carton jewelry box serves as a reminder of each and every child the steely-gazed chicken sold into Plugger slavery to pay for her shiny glass baubles.
queek
April 12th, 2007 at 11:09 am
Overboard has been having a trial, as a mouse is suing the Captain for pain&suffering after getting its tail caught in a mousetrap. Todays strip ends in the worst Johnny Cochran pun that I’ve ever seen.
Zits has been naughty this past week. Wonder who has the new partner?
Will someone explain the joke in today’s Mother Goose & Grimm to me? I don’t get it.
Candorville made me laugh. Chibi-Cheney and Hammerspace!
sumo squirrels. ’nuff said!
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 11:10 am
22. Dorianne, Mary Worth is not stalking. She is merely expressing her neighborly concern for the distraught new tenant, with the express desire to help her. Think of it as mercy meddling. Aldo Kelrast was a lewd, lascivious stalking perv. His was a crime of moral turpitude while Mary’s motivation comes from a fervent urge to help troubled people and her moral rectitude is certainly beyond reproach.
Harry Paratestes
April 12th, 2007 at 11:14 am
JP: I’m loving it! I always wanted to see Zippy the Pinhead turn macho and assault two dumb American bitches in Paris!
Poteet
April 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am
DT — Having barely recovered from seeing Queen of Diamonds doff her iconic costume, I must now try to recover from seeing her suddenly-very-creepily-thin forearm in Panel One and her jaw-dropping profile (so to speak) in Panel Two, not to mention all the mega-cheesy dialogue. But you can’t scare me away so easily, DT! I’m going to keep reading!
Good God, suddenly I begin to understand why so many Mudges follow GIL THORP.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am
I am such a fan of the comics pages’ newest hero that I, formerly “FlaGator,” am hereby officially changing my Comics Curmoniker to “The Spectacular Spider-Brick.” To commemorate this occasion, I give you the Spider-Brick Theme Song:
Spider-Brick! Spider-Brick!
Can do many a super-trick!
Flings himself through the air!
Windowpane? Doesn’t care.
Hey there! There goes the Spider-Brick!
Is he strong? Listen, bud!
He will hit your head with a “KLUDD!”
Can he swing from a thread?
No, but he can smack your head.
Look out! Here comes the Spider-Brick!
Like a concrete chunk, or a piece of uranium
With a mighty “THUNK,” he will bash in your cranium!
Spider-Brick, Spider Brick!
Eight-inch long, half as thick!
Did you think you’d ever see
Sentient masonry?
He was —
part of an office tower,
now he’s got super-power!
Say hey for Spider-Brick!
calico
April 12th, 2007 at 11:23 am
Haha – I just had a vision of Mary Smurf waiting for Vera between the shrubs, trees, and roses of Brimstone every single day for the rest of poor Vera’s life as she returns from her Clerk Typist job. Must go wash my brain out with bleach now.
rich
April 12th, 2007 at 11:25 am
104: Re Mother Goose’s “Two Guys and a Wheel”…well, there’s apparently a moving company called “Two Guys and a Truck”, though if I have to use Google to get the joke then I’m working a little too hard. (Also: not funny.)
Archie: Today’s Tuesday??!!??
Anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 11:26 am
70. Gabe
Referencing an episode of Golden Girls? Man, you rock!
Perky Bird
April 12th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Today’s Blondie:
Why is the postman’s back turned to Blondie as she speaks to him? And am I just terribly immature, or does his hunched-over, butt-thrust-out posture make you think that when he says “Let’s see if my whistle can wake him”, he really means “Let’s see if this tremendously loud fart blast I’m about to rip off can wake him”?
Mr. Fogarty
April 12th, 2007 at 11:31 am
I expect that Brad is going “bedside” soon.
He dreams of Tony, but it probably will wind up being TJ.
Or in a real twist, Dirk.
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Nothing gets between me and my Bea.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 11:36 am
#104 queek
Ref. Mother Goose & Grimm: See, there’s this furniture moving company called “Two Men and a Truck†and . . . cavemen don’t have trucks. Or furniture. So, there you are!
#105 MossMoses
Every time I see the words moral rectitude I think ass as in Mary Worth’s got a broom up her ass. I’m no etymologist, but rectitude, rectum, I don’t know. Can we get a ruling here?
Thoth
April 12th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Josh – this just shows you aren’t a Plugger. If you were, you’d know that spending 10 bucks for a jewelry box would prevent you from buying your your generic smokes, a 6 of natty light, and a new pair of drawstring pants. Of course, that $10 should really be going towards your blood pressure meds. But, as we all know real Pluggers can’t afford health insurance, so $10 bucks ain’t gonna buy you no Diazide anyway. Might as well drink and smoke it away in comfort.
Ray
April 12th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I read this blog everday for a year now but this is my first post, will someone please explain todays mother goose and grimm or maybe josh comment on it?
http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php. I have been staring at it for an hour now and I just dont get it, maybe im thinking too hard I dunno.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 11:42 am
#110 rich
See, there’s this thing called “Two Guys and a Joke” and . . . never mind.
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Gabe, just me hassling you at 111.
AhClem
April 12th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Awesome Pink Floyd album cover reference in GF today!
http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/archive/getfuzzy-20070412.html
Calvin
April 12th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I think the Spider Brick already has a nemesis: the Amazing Indestructible Video Tape. So powerful it can smash through a plate-glass window without receiving so much as a scratch. I hope Spider Brick’s mortar sense is tingling!
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 11:52 am
117.
The caveman is shocked because the advertising is accurate: Two guys. One wheel. I dunno. Maybe it’s funny because of the goofy, eager way the two guys are staring at the potential customer like they are salesman looking at a “mark” in a used car lot.
Smurglap/Kr\’lpak/Epstein, Attorneys in Interstellar Law
April 12th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
2.38 x 10 to the 6th Avenue of the Trampled
New Agony, Pronikkk
Zynex
To #117 Ray and #104 Queek
There seems to be some confusion as to the ‘joke’ in today’s Mother Goose & Grimm. As translators of Earther humor for His Grand Imperial Crankiness, the joke is explained below:
‘Two Guys and a Truck’ is a common name for small moving companies in the Western Hemisphere of Earth. The number of Earther homo sapiens males varies, but all seem to possess a truck of some sort.
The cavemen have a proto-truck in the single wheel. The joke lies in that the wheel is a caveman truck.
We did not think it was funny either, but then, as lawyers for the Galactic Emperor, we are permitted to say that we have no sense of humor. That, and our spleens, were surgically removed.
Our standard joke explanation fee is 286 lbs. of potatoes. We will bill you.
Thank you in advance.
Smurglap
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
MT– Dan’s going to be mad when he finds out Sally blew the two million dollars buying Elton John’s sunglasses on eBay.
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
#115 – gh
I don’t know anything about bugs either but rectitude comes from the Latin root rectus (straight) and rectum is the straight terminal section of the intestines. So a broom up Mary’s ass it is!
Len
April 12th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
#112 — Mr. Beasley (the mailman) isn’t so bent over that his butt will bring fantasies of sweet lovin’ to Dingo’s brain. But at least we can see that the Beaze can blow real good.
You know how to whistle, don’t you? Just pucker your lips and blow.
man behind the curtain
April 12th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
#86 — Nina — Not only will Ma & Pa Patterson still be paying the mortgage, they’ll be paying it after Deanna has thrown Michael out of the house nad he moves back in with his parents. And someone like Warren will have moved in with Deanna.
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Archie – Fer crying out loud. That kid has a volumetric flask on his sweatshirt, not a bong.
And
Isn’t there a difference between a Plugger and a red-neck?
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
115- Yes, the two words are related! Both come from the Latin “rectus” meaning straight. Why the large intestine has anything to do with the word “straight” is beyond me, but there you have it.
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Oh hoh, Trotzenbonnie. You not only beat me to the rectus punch but you correctly identify the laboratory equipment on Dilton’s shirt, where I had to resort to a bastardized Erlenmeyer. You are a wily foe.
britbike
April 12th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
#108, Spectacular Spider-Brick. Bravo! “sentient masonry” should also become someone’s nom de snark.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
#125 Trotzenbonnie, #129 Foobar
I’m so happy!
DarkHorse02GT
April 12th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Living in Alabama, I feel as though I am in a Plugger rich environment. So let me just say that NOBODY keeps jewelry in egg cartons. Nobody. Ms Schofield… you, madam, are a liar.
Perky Bird
April 12th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
#126– Ha ha! I interpreted it as a farting position, but you certainly put a new spin on it! Especially after re-reading Blondie’s comment that SHE can’t “get (Dag)wood up”. Beasley’s gonna give it a try. And what man could resist a porn-stached mailman in his tracksuit-like uniform, wagging his hiney in a “come-hither” manner? That’ll “get him up” for sure!
It’s good to know others have even more immature thoughts than myself! ;)
Wisconsinite
April 12th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Say – in the past I’m quite sure I’ve seen Josh mention the name of a newspaper, the on-line version of which makes all the comics available on the web. Can someone please drop that name again? Thanks!
Uncle Lumpy
April 12th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
#135 Wisconsinite:
Just click here, and behold!
willethompson
April 12th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
#128 Trotz:
Plugger vs. Redneck
K-car vs pick-up with confederate flag and ‘3′ sticker
Miller Lite vs. Bud Light
Eggcrate jewelry box vs tattoos
Dentures vs gaps
Target vs WalMart
Spay vs burlap sack (see #68 adam above)
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
135- That’d be the Houston “The Chronic” Chronicle.
http://www.chron.com
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
136- Foiled again!
Dr. Shrinker
April 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
I’ve lived in various parts of the United States for over 40 years and I’ve never seen a moving company called “Two Guys and a Truck.”
Of course, even if I got the reference, it is still one of the lamest jokes ever put on paper.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0;page=2;quality=high;cpp=8;c=112;c=71;c=20;c=116;c=118;c=144;c=123;c=130;c=140;date=2007/4/12
TDIET: Yeah, ultra-organized McTidy can’t find his copy of the contract, and thus must ask someone less organized. If McTidy is the most organized person in the company, then by definition, all other people with access to the contract must be less so. Of course, if McTidy were really that organized to begin with, he wouldn’t have lost the damn thing, ya nitwit! Note that keeping a disorganized office leads to other bad behavior like sloppy dress, sporatic hygiene, sleeplessness and thus ye shall be relegated to a basement cubicle with dim lighting.
Mallard: Down on the Federal Post Office, are we? No respect for the uniform of the United States? Why do you hate America, you irate duck?
I just can’t continue to comment on the stupidity of Spiderman any longer. I just can’t.
Funky: “My parents are my parents.” Oh, thank you for clarifying, Darrin. I was under the impression that your parents were your parents.
Foobar
April 12th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
141- He hates America because it elected a Democratic Congress.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
#140 – Dr. Shrinker – I know I don’t have your MD, and I’m no geologist or anything, but there is such a company.
Bitter Scribe
April 12th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Pluggers: I once saw “safes” for sale that actually were versions of commercial packaging–coffee cans and whatnot–with hidden compartments. I never understood why you couldn’t just put your necklace or whatever in a Baggie and bury it in the coffee grounds.
Of course, if the burglar knew you were going to be away for awhile and he really, really liked coffee, you’d be SOL.
Perky Bird
April 12th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
#143:
Behold! two Guys and a Truck!
http://www.twoguysandatruck.com/
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Wake the kids & shoot the neighbors! Ballard Street is actually funny today.
Margo!Boxcar!Saturn!
April 12th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
SHIRT/CUP UPDATE!
SHIRTS are being printed now and will be ready mid-next week.
CUPS have been ordered as well, with delivery late next week.
I have checks from most of you, but about 11 have not yet arrived.
Potato
April 12th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Meanwhile, in today’s Spider-Man, we learn that plastic is stronger than glass.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Alert! Stock Paris Hilton Joke. Automatic belly laughs. 1000% guaranteed. And a bit of Hollywood on global warming ala Mallard Fillmore thrown in for bonus points.
Uncle Lumpy
April 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
#144 Bitter S. -
Apparently lots of folks hide their cash in cereal boxes. Burglars, knowing this, rip the boxes open and dump cereal all over the floor.
A little absurdity to ease the sting of being robbed.
treedweller
April 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Thought others might be interested in this exchange with Johnny Hart’s syndicate. I wrote them this:
And received this reply:
My reply:
As I said to them, I doubt this will make a difference, but I couldn’t help trying. Incidentally, the reply came from msugawara@creators.com
dimestore lipstick
April 12th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Re MG&G,
Two Men and a Truck is a franchised residential and commercial moving business.
More info, in the usual location…
http://www.franchisedirect.com/directory/twomen_truck.htm
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
6 Chix: Who is irresponsible? The soon-to-be-foreclosed couple or the bank for lending beyond the means of their ability to repay? Until that issue is firmly and unambiguously resolved, I simply cannot grant my laughter on this or any future 6 Chix strip. 6 Chix, you are being boycotted. Capitulate to my demands or behold my mirthless wrath!
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Dr. Shrinker: Let me throw my hat in that, indeed, there is a company called Two Guys and a Truck. I have used them.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I always thought that “Pearls Before Swine” was a riff on “pearls before wine” like some customary method of gift giving or something. Turns out, as I was reading the King James Bible to my 2 year old (because she asked, for reasons that are clear only to her, since even I didn’t understand half of that translation) it is a quote from one of the early chapters of Matthew. Ah, I had an epiphany.
But I still don’t quite get “sumo squirrels”.
Nina
April 12th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
#149 Hey thanks Hogen Mogen, I shall remove all my cash and jewelry from the toilet tank and put it in the egg carton as soon as possible…..
BTW I have a friend that we save egg cartons for because he keep his golf balls in them. He has thousands of them. Very crazy individual.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
#42 – Tweeks –
“A3G: This tedium could go on for the better part of a month.”
Yah, and you forgot to mention all the unnecessary captions. Three out of four panels with captions – and the end result is —- wait for it…. … what’s going on?…. ooohhhh…
NOTHING.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
#151 treedweller
Thanks for the Creators’ e-mail link. I sent of my plea as well. I mentioned that there are other strips in the Creators’ “stable” that could use a shot at wider exposure, figuring the prospect of keeping the coinage in house might have an effect. There isn’t much in the group I’d fight for, really, but not having B. C. around would be a plus.
Lynngineering
April 12th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
#108 -The Spectacular Spider-Brick
Excellennnnt. Theme song is GO. Now I’m just waiting for the comic strip to appear and start c.c.ing it.
#121 – Calvin: Beware Amazing Indestructible Video Tape, or Spectacular Spider-Brick may team up for one issue with the Daring DVD.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
My friends just hide hash and stuff in the freezer in old (clean) mayo jars. My brothers used an old hollowed-out book in which to keep their kine bud.
I only hope it was a bible.
Motorposus
April 12th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
To willethompson’s excellent pluggers vs. rednecks list, I would add:
Golden Corral vs. MAC-Donald’s
pedal boat vs. Ski-Doo
drawstring pants vs. cutoffs
SixFootJen
April 12th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
My beloved HogenMogen:
re: comment #146: I’m sorry. You are mistaken. That is not, in fact, funny.
re: comment #155: Once, back in the days of the Algonquin Round Table, Dorothy Parker and Clare Booth Luce were going somewhere in a group. When they reached the door of the building, Clare Booth Luce stepped aside to let Dorothy Parker go in first, smirkingly saying, “Age before beauty.” Of course DP majestically swept through the door, saying, “Pearls before swine.”
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
115. Rectitude – rectum? What about Mary Worth conjures up rectum images for you? Her meddling is invasive like a rectal probe and she’s poking her nose into Vera’s personal life like a rectal thermometer.
What do you think of when you hear the word turpitude? I once worked as a trilingual paralegal and had to ask amnesty applicants with a straight face whether or not they had committed acts of moral turpitude in Spanish and Chinese. It doesn’t translate very well…
Barbara P
April 12th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I thought Brad was saying “he might even sleep on it” because he normally sleeps on the sofa. I had to come here to find out that he was actually hinting about his sex life.
Ew.
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
“Trilingual paralegal” sounds like an advanced position out of the Kama Sutra.
Or a great name for a rock band.
Dennis Jimenez
April 12th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Congress of the Cunning Linguists.
gh
April 12th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
#163 MossMoses
When I hear “turpitude” I always think of “turpentine” because it’s what I’d like to put in Mary Worth’s highball.
odinthor
April 12th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Luann — Note that Brad’s bed is not (allegedly) a “king-sized bed”; it’s a “king bed.” Either way, if it’s for the king in the Wizard of Id, it’s obviously for short naps.
TDIET — Scores a thumbs up not only for using “whom” correctly, but also for doing so in bold.
Crock — Wait a minute. What’s the era of this strip? Haven’t the Vandals (an’ I don’t mean the ones out in the ‘hood) been on vacation since about 600 A.D.? And the Foreign Legion (um, Crock is about the French Foreign Legion, right?) started about 1830…? More information on the Vandals and on the Foreign Legion can be found on the Internet.
willethompson
April 12th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
#166 Dennis – PunOTW!
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
169. POTW? Umm… Cunning linguist is a good one but it’s as old as the Laurentian Shield.
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Dude, Mark Evanier totally linked here.
You’re a superstar, Josh!
(sorry if this has been posted before, I didn’t see it.)
rodent
April 12th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
#15, et al
That’s what I like about this community: Somebody reads Archy so I never, ever, have to.
Chromium
April 12th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
You’re a Plugger if you eat the embryos of your unborn children, but you won’t even hear about those goddamned liberals and their stem cell research.
Chromium
April 12th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Ahhh failed markup, sorry.
Little Guy
April 12th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Pluggers/Josh: Hence, “The Lovely Bones”
Luann: Next week, Atia of the DeGrootii slaps Bradtavius upside the head, “I can believe you *MARGO SATURN BOXCAR* sister!”
bootsybooks
April 12th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Cripes, I’m an atheist, and I know from whence comes “cast ye not your pearls before swine, as they may trample them, and turn”. It’s from St, Matthew’s gospel.
Dorothy Paker merely used it, to great advantage and wit, I will add.
More information about “pearls before swine” may be found you-know-where, but most likely you’ll be linked to the comic strip.
Dingo
April 12th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Ah, Brad. The pillow on the left is Betty and the pillow on the right is Veronica. And between them? The last pitiful refuge of your DNA.
SixFootJen
April 12th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
176 Bootsy: I didn’t mean to imply (in 162) that Dorothy Parker created the saying; I was just giving an example of great snark!
treedweller
April 12th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
166/169/170
Ever watch the game show “Lingo” on GSN? I like to think that the first blonde sidekick/computer maven left the show because Chuck Woolery wouldn’t stop joking that he was a cunning Lingo-ist.
158 gh: Thanks for joining my crusade. My next step is to write the local newspaper and ask them to discontinue the strip. Given past experiences in that arena, I don’t expect they will do it, but it makes me feel better.
willethompson
April 12th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
#170 MossMoses: It wasn’t so much the ‘cunning linguist’ as it was the Congress before it in Dennis J’s riff on Gabe’s Kama Sutra set-up. And I’m no geologist, but in regard to the age of the Laurentian Shield…
oh, wait, that WOULD make me a geologist.
Chromium
April 12th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Crankshaft: “I’ll say this”? “At least”? Wow, just when you think Tom Batiuk couldn’t be any more depressed and bitter, you find out he’s still pissed off about the American Revolution.
RentedMule
April 12th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
‘When I first saw this cartoon, I thought the caption was going to be “A plugger makes jewelry from the bones of her children.’
Count your blessing Josh, my first thought was “Thank Jeebus it’s not a bear Plugger or she’d be shoving a necklace up her vagina.
treedweller
April 12th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
re 151/179:
I have sent my request to the Austin American-Statesman for the discontinuation of “BC.” Since I know other Austinites hang out here, I thought I would try to get some of you to join me in petitioning them. Their address is comics@statesman.com. I have written them several times in the past offering my opinions on their comics pages and the results have not been very favorable; maybe a group effort would have more success.
Spotted HØrse
April 12th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
#102 Barking Spider Brewery:
Thanks, BSB, I had gotten a little bored with MT, but now you’ve given me so-o-o much to look forward to! …I admit that I hadn’t considered the possibility of Mark’s stalker diapers. Can those be purchased at the gooseport?
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
MG & G- I, too, was unaware of the “Two Guys and a Truck” franchise. Knowing it now, the gag’s lame, but I still find the drawing funny. Somedays that’s enough.
Alkibiades
April 12th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
#52 Katherine:
I think you’re right: Mary totally just grabbed Vera’s ass! (Note Mary’s lavender blouse…)
HOTT!
moscow minidoka
April 12th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Dear [moscow minidoka]:
Thank you for your e-mail.
It was Johnny Hart’s wish that the B.C. and the Wizard of Id comic strips continue by his extremely talented family members and we want to honor his wishes.
We thought you might be interested in this link:
http://www.creators.com/news/10.html
Again, thank you for sharing your comments.
Sincerely,
Marianne Sugawara
TB Tabby
April 12th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
7: Actually, they’re planning to fuse a dead dog to his face in an homage to the greatest vigilante in comic book history.
TB Tabby
April 12th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
188: Uh…and since the HTML doesn’t seem to be working right…
http://dogwelder.com/images/dogwelder-intro.jpg
AppleGirl
April 12th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Pluggers – Okay, I think I get what the missing caption is. The Plugger hides her jewelry in an egg carton so her husband won’t know how much money she’s spending on the Home Shopping Network.
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Everything’s Archie- Maybe that guy isn’t wearing a “bong” shirt but a “stomach” shirt that sports a diagram of his gastrointestinal tract. Notice the little bubble floating in there.
Non-Shannon
April 12th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I haven’t read through all the comics today, but Able & Baker has a Kurt Vonnegut tribute today.
R.I.P., K.V.
You will be missed.
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
183. Treedweller – That is a persuasive email you sent and I don’t even need any persuading. While you’re at it how about crusading to rid the comics of the uber zombie “Classic” Peanuts? Also, what is it going to take to get the Post to return Mary Worth to the print version.
Non-Shannon
April 12th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
I mean comments. I haven’t read all the comments.
Yeesh.
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
#130 – Foobar
It was a toss-up between the two flasks. Just the fact that you mentioned the Erlenmeyer gave me the opportunity to say “Nyah Nyah Nyah” to my husband. I assured him that someone else out there in Mudgeville would know their flasks and he just rolled his blue eyes at me.
#137 – Wille
Thanks for clearing things up. Sometimes I think people get Pluggers and Rednecks all mixed up. And, may I add-
Pluggers–work hard
Rednecks–not so much
Pluggers–Interspecies coition
Rednecks–Intraspecies…I mean, intrafamilial coition
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
#176 – Bootsy – I probably heard the passage at one time or another during my many years of attending church. However, it probably got ignored like so many of those commandments, especially the eleventh one – THAL SHALT NOT SNARK.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
And who is Thal?
AppleGirl
April 12th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
FBOFW – I’ve been following Lynngineering’s Foob Cliff Notes for awhile, and I am grateful for her explanations of these incomprehensible characters and motives. Mike’s coma dream is the ONLY way this train wreck makes sense.
Where will April live? In the 2-bedroom retirement house? You just know that John and Elly are anxious to make that 2nd bedroom into a den-slash-guest room.
bootsybooks
April 12th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
#178, VeryTallJen, I never doubted your snarkitude (nor your attributions) for a sec!
Kronkina
April 12th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Could someone tell me which album cover is in today’s Get Fuzzy? I got the Nirvana reference but this one is beyond me.
treedweller
April 12th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
187 momi–good to see they are so moved by our efforts as to compose a form letter in response.
193 momo–thanks. I did consider mentioning “Peanuts” as another zombie to kill, but I think it occupies its own category. Instead of being carried on by committee, it is just in perpetual reruns. Though I am opposed to this concept, as well, I always liked Schulz’s work enough not to push it. After I get rid of Hagar, Blondie, Beetle, Shoe, and maybe a few others, I will get to work on Snoopy and the gang.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
200 Kronk: Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here”.
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
So both Rex and JP have story lines about inheritance of large sums given to unlikely young female recipients. The sons of each of the deceased or soon-to-be deceased are going to be factors to contest the will. So the big mystery to us at the CC is “How long will they drag out their respective plotlines and which will suck the most?” My bet is that JP will win on the drag out fest, despite starting a little earlier. Rex, for all its Antarctican days (each one lasts six months) has concise endings to their adventures, never to be mentioned again. And I mean never. If I were 40 feet from a SWAT team shootout of an armed and dangerous murdering skank, my wife would have more questions than “Oh, really? Sarah and I are going to the zoo today.” And, let us not forget the current JP subplot. Forget Lent, let us collectively mark the forty days since the debut of the English speaking French punks in Judge Parker. Forty days of skinhead fun! And, then the tease we got a few weeks back with the all-too-brief appearance of wife-of-temp-butler-man. Irrelevant subplots like these could so easily drag out any inheritance story until the sun goes nova.
Meander
April 12th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Someone just sent this to me in another forum:
My Humps
AppleGirl
April 12th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
MW – Mary sullies the good name of apple with her apple pie and special apple cake. Back off, Mary. Stick to tuna noodle casserole.
“Curses upon you, Von!” refers to Vera’s wrath that her Von’s grocery store didn’t have her phone number on the Von’s Savings Club database. She threw a huge scene at the checkout and holds a grudge to this day. Nothing worse than paying full price for your groceries. Right, Pacific Cliffs girlfriend?
commodorejohn
April 12th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
FOOB – The Plot-O-Matic is beginning to show signs of wear. There’s no attempt anymore to hide the fact that these events are engineered solely for the purpose of getting everyone into place for the ending. I’m half expecting Apollo to descend from the sky on wires, cure Grandpa Jim’s
aphasiaconfuse-ya, perform the Great House Swap by magic, call in Cupid to get Liz and Granthony together, andbitchslap Michaelmake Deanna see what a wonderful husband she has.Josh
April 12th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Meander-
That bit of brilliance was created by faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader and occasional poster loudfan, who blogged about it here:
http://www.interbridge.com/weblog/march06.html
(scroll down to the heading “All Mashed Up”).
Josh
Bitter Scribe
April 12th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
#193–”Peanuts” doesn’t really qualify as a zombie strip, since they’re re-running the originals. A true zombie, or “living dead” strip, AFAIK, is one where the creator is long deceased but his heirs/assigns keep it going, indefinitely, or at least as long as there’s cash to be milked from the cow.
Don’t get me wrong. As much as I enjoy “Peanuts,” I woudn’t shed a tear if it got yanked to make room for a good, truly original strip. (Although that may be easier said than done. Most of the new strips in the Chicago Tribune have been hit-or-miss.)
Poteet
April 12th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Please pardon a digression from the comics, though not entirely from this site. Partly because of this site, I occasionally find myself writing a parodylemma, which is (I’ve decided) “a parody which may be reasonably good in quality but is useless as an artistic statement because it can only be understood by its creator.”
Most recently, while driving, I thought out a not-bad parody (if I do say so) about an obscure subject, based on a song from a not-well-known musical. But the people I know who know the musical don’t know the obscure subject, and vice versa. So the only thing I can really do with this parody is (theoretically) sing it to myself. I just wondered if anyone else has done something similar. If not, I promise to keep this weird tendency to myself from now on.
Alan Vanneman
April 12th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
I just had to tell you, Josh, that the sexy girls at the beach have been wearing me out ever since I started wearing my Technomarine Marvel watch. Thank you, Google, and thank you, Josh!
Hawkwoman
April 12th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Pluggers would actually have some emotional resonance if it was “You’re a Plugger if your jewlry box is an egg crate that your grandchild glitter-glued the hell out of.” I’ve seen that and similar monstrous items proudly displayed by doting grandmas.
Speaking of monstous–the chicken plugger is one of the most hedious things I’ve seen in the comics outside of Gil Thorp. I’m not surprised to find out it eats its own young.
Uncle Lumpy
April 12th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
#209 Poteet -
Yeah, whatever that is, it happens to everybody!
vkbceb
April 12th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
SF: I can’t believe that I’m the first to mention today’s acknowledgement of Sally’s outdated haircut.
Meanwhile
April 12th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
187: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Someone please make it stop!
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
My first impression on Brad from Luann (above) wasn’t a sexual reference. I took it as a given that a dork like Brad, who pined for what – a year and a half – for a chick that gave him all the action of a wet sock, would be S.O.L. in the love making category. I took it as “I’m so proud of the fact that I have a clean bed with sheets pulled so tightly you can bounce a quarter off of them that I would rather sleep on the floor than muss it up in the slightest.”
Either that, or he is thinking of confessing to TJ that TJ’s shit-eating, omnipresent grin turn him on. “TJ… you’ve been a good friend… but every time I see you I get a stiffy the size of a redwood tree. Boink me now or lose me forever.”
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
#209 – Poteet
Don’t hide your light under a bushel (as long as we’re quoting the New Testament today).
I say share it! Your fellow mudgers are masters of the obscure. I’m convinced there is no corner too dark, no precipice so remote, a subject that is so arcane that one of the Curmudgeons has not been there and/or done that.
Islamorada Girl
April 12th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
One more Pluggers clue: Creepy Giant Chicken Lady must read Hints from Heloise. The “clever” idea of storing things in egg boxes has been mentioned there ad infinium for every purpose under the sun.
jules
April 12th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
#209 Poteet – I have parodylemmas, but I never knew what to call them! Thank you, thank you.
They’re still sort of fun to sing to yourself, though. And when someone says, “What’s that you’re singing? It sort of sounds like the Stones, but…” you can just smile cryptically.
stinky pete
April 12th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
213 vkbceb: I can’t believe it either (see 81).
kostia
April 12th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
My brother (and his fiancee) have a California king-size bed. When he gave me a tour of their house, he literally said, “Bowm-chick-a-bow-mow” when he showed it off.
But when I was Brad’s age and he was Luann’s age? Not a chance in hell. Eww.
queek
April 12th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
I wasn’t sure how wide-spread the Two-Men-and-A-Truck franchise was, so I wasn’t sure if that’s what was being referenced or not. Still not funny.
And for the record, chemistry glassware and bongs are not mutually incompatable. Hook up a couple of filter-flasks in series, and off you go! (or so I’ve been told.)
Allie Cat
April 12th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Pluggers – OK – I just re-read this and realized the contributor is from Gainesville, GA. AHA! For those of you who aren’t from the Empire State of the South, Gainesville is the Poultry Capital! There are dozens and dozens (ha ha) of egg and chicken farms, abattoirs, processing plants, etc. The Hispanic population there has exploded in the last 15 years because of all the labor opportunties for someone who doesn’t mind all the guts and none of the glory. So to speak.
So of course, chances are, Joy Schofield has encyclopedic knowledge of alternative uses for egg cartons. Of course, if you still use encyclopedias, you’re a Plugger.
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
#219 – stinky p.
Sally Forth has a hairdo? I thought the Exxon Valdez just ran aground on her head.
anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
RMMD: Does anyone besides me think this story line is the most.boring.ever. Yaaaaawwwnnnn.
rabidbunny
April 12th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Mmmm…Fireman, super quilted pillowtop,…is LuAnn stealing plot lines from the previous season of the Sopranos? Will there be discussion of Johnny Cakes Next?
On a Side note. That is one TINY king size bed
cheech wizard
April 12th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
WTF? A king bed? With a night stand and a lamp? This is not how young dudes live when they first move out of home. Where’s the lumpy mattress on the floor? The giant wooden telephone wire spool? The milk crates? The posters of sports studs and scantily clad women? The leftover microwave trays, near-empty popcorn bags and assorted beer bottles?
What, has Brad been possessed by the spirit of Mrs. Horner? Even if he has been saving his pissant fireman’s wage by living at home, it seems that the following aquisitions would be more likely for someone Brad’s age and personality than a foo-foo bedroom set: 1) Big, flat-screen TV 2) Bitchin’ stereo system 3) Bitchin’ car 4)Lumpy mattress to throw on floor, along with single set of sheets, washed semiannually, as well as assorted milk crates, giant wooden spools, etc, resulting in : 5)Bitchin’ mom and landlady.
And no way his folks bought him that bed. A King? That’s llike saying, “Son, isn’t it about time you started having wild, uncontrolled sex with that Daytona girl?”
Hogen Mogen
April 12th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
#224 – anon – No!
Being a vetran RMMD fan – and by “fan” I mean “will insult it with righteous indignation normally reserved for those who are trying to end corrupt regimes, stop genocide, bring about world peace etc.” I’ve been through poker games that last a month, golf games that last two months, and archeology scams that last three months. The list goes on. This inheritance business is about as edge-of-your-seat as Rex gets, that is if people standing around talking about corporate legal matters gets your heart racing. The part that intrigues me is the daily revelation of how much Pete the chauffer was involved with the Avery International Board of Trustees. Next thing you know, June will get a call from the hospital involving a complication on a kidney transplant and Pete will recommend a regiment (sic) of drugs. Rex will call with car trouble, and Pete will again cheerfully advise that the #3 spark plug in that model and year of car is especially susceptible to corrosion. Niki comes home and Pete begins helping him on his term paper about the history of the Incan Empire. It doesn’t begin to get weird until Pete starts reordering the known laws of physics…
ohyes
April 12th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
MT: “I hope she leads me to Dan.” Oh, so Mark got all dressed up to court Dan?
His timing was great. If he’d arrived even a few minutes later, Sally’d be gone!
But if it’s Dan he wants, Mark should go look in the basement, under any new concrete patching in the floor (it might be covered by an appliance or a pile of stuff; move everything around). This is Mark Trail noir. Dan faking his own death was the perfect cover for Sally and her lover to kill Dan.
This ain’t Lost Forest any more, Mark. You’re in the suburbs now…
dramashoes
April 12th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I live fairly close to Gainesville. My company services some of the restaurants there. The other day I had to service the walk-in cooler at Henrietta McPlugger’s House Of Chicken. I hear even PETA is scared to investigate.
dramashoes
April 12th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I live fairly close to Gainesville. My company services some of the restaurants there. The other day I had to fix the walk-in cooler at Henrietta McPlugger’s House Of Chicken. I hear even PETA is scared to investigate. I’m going back to selling fraudulent home warranties to old people so I can get my dignity back.
O’Fogeyette
April 12th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Poteet: out with the parody! It’s a new rule! Just ask His Galactic Emperor!
andreavis
April 12th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
MW: So how is Mary going to have Vera over for dinner… didn’t she leave her best casserole dish with Ella? Cause you just know Ella packed that up with her stuff when she moved. Mary’s going to have to make something in the slo-cooker instead. Although, to judge by Vera’s reaction, she’d be better off making pie– Vera reeeeally likes pie, apparently.
MossMoses
April 12th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
228. OhYes, although technically Mark Trail is out of Lost Forest, the same laws of physics (or total lack thereof) apply wherever he goes. The baddies outside LoFo are just as stupid as the poachers there and the law enforcement is just as incompetent and irresponsible as Sheriff Rawhide himself.
Keg of Curd
April 12th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
155: I still don’t quite get “sumo squirrelsâ€
They are just intrinsically funny.
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
233 MossMoses
Also, no matter what the context, no matter if he’s speaking to himself or to a librarian, no matter if he’s in Lost Forest or Miami, in a car or on a fishing boat, Mark Trail’s sentences will end with exclamation points because he is ever so excited and everything he says is exciting!
“I hope she leads me to Dan!”
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
“I hope my tie is on straight!”
“This bread truck pulls to the right!”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have eating the pate!”
“I don’t remember seeing that growth before!”
“You took the proceeds of a policy of a friend of mine!”
“That’s what I believe!”
“I’m not the father!”
John C Fremont
April 12th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
# 99 – Dimestore Lipstick – Sorry, I got caught up in my work and didn’t get the chance to respond. Hope I’m not repeating anyone else, but yes, I remember Hints From Heloise in the Sunday Register in the section known then as Iowa’s Finest Comics. As a kid, I found that an odd name. Now I find it just plain stupid. I didn’t read Heloise, but I seem to remember illustrations to go with each “hint” – but maybe my brain is misfiring and confusing Heloise with Cappy Dick.
gnome de blog
April 12th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
227: Pete better be careful or he’ll get arrested for impersonating Abbey the Wonderdog.
Adjuster
April 12th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
224 anonymous: Are you kidding? The current RMMD storyline can’t be the most boring. It has already got a plane crash and a security clearance!
Sure, it’s got corporate contingency plans… but they’re still way more exciting than “June goes to the DMV. June waits in line. June has filled out the wrong form.”
Maybe after Heather spends a couple of weeks in probate court I’ll agree with you.
PeteMoss
April 12th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
99 & 237
Hints from Heloise was distributed by King Features, but I had forgotten that the column ran with the comics. Heloise, from the beautiful city of San Antonio, Texas, was the “MacGyver” of house hold chores.
Islamorada Girl
April 12th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Once again, Vera, the joke’s on you! Mary makes mock apple pie with Ritz crackers, because she thinks fresh fruit and vegetables cost too much.
Vince M.
April 12th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
104: Re. Overboard – I can’t help thinking Chip Dunham wishes he could use a stronger word than ‘poop’ for the Cochranesque rhyming.
While I can appreciate the desire for more comics page real estate, I just can’t imagine a world without ‘Peanuts’ in the paper. I loved the one a couple of days ago where Linus’ library fear prompts him to ask “What if someone slugs me?”
cheech wizard
April 12th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
JP – This sequence would have been much improved if Abby and Neddy first found a crescent wrench, then a lead pipe, then the blowtorch, then a chainsaw — before their eyes fell upon a matched set of samurai swords hanging over the door, a la Pulp Fiction. The sequence could end with them carrying the punk’s heads like shopping bags through the streets of Paris, gabbing on and on about nothing.
beergoggles
April 12th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
110: thanks – suddenly i get it – it’s archie who’s high and jughead is messing with him – it’s just too subtle and nuanced
at least that’s what i’m going to keep repeating as i try to figure out why this strip still exist
WithoutaK
April 12th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Poteet:
Two things-
1. I too suffer parodylemmas. Mine are made all the worse by the fact that no one in my family or circle of friends shares my passion for comics OR musicals. Drat them all!
2. I would love dearly to lay “curses upon you” for your comments about the Queen of Diamonds, but your comments always make me laugh so I can’t hate you for them. Why would I hate you for them, you ask? Because, dammit, I just purged Gil Thorp from my Chron comics page and now your comments are making me want to add Dick Tracy to it. And if I do that, where will it end? Re-adding (DT)GT? TDIET? Cathy? Ugh. That way lies madness, but if such is my fate, know that I blame only my weak will and not your great prose.
Meander
April 12th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Thanks, Josh — I’d only seen it for the first time today!
CrabbyGenes
April 12th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
I’ve just skimmed the whole thread very fast, so if I have missed something, please forgive me and direct me to the comment I have missed.
I’m still completely confused about Funky Winkerbean and where the current storyline may be going. Some commenters have said one thing and others, something else.
At any rate, I remember from a previous thread that there are comics readers here–or at least one, anyway–who knows everything about FW, and has followed it closely from the beginning. Would that person (or persons?) please explain if the characters in the current storyline could possibly be related in any way, and if so, if the strip is headed for a (possible) incest plot?
I’m not diseregarding the input from those who have already commented–I just don’t know who to believe at this point. I myself am very under-informed about this comic.
Must run–I live on the other side of the world from most of you people, and I’ve got a 9 a.m. class to teach in 5 minutes. I’ll be reading this thread much more carefully on my lunch hour today.
fizzy logic
April 12th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Since we were speaking of how old we all were the other day, I couldn’t resist mentioning that Kronkina’s comment (#200) gives us a clue as to how old s/he is. Or isn’t, really.
That’s one of my classic favorite albums? cds? (what do you call something that was something and is now something else?). And the GF was a classic, too.
Denise Keppel
April 12th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Re: Pluggers. Joy Schofield is from Gainesville, GA, chicken capital of the world and one of the outer most suburbs of Atlanta. Insert joke where you may.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
April 12th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
#209 Poteet — I think I know just what you’re talking about with the “parodylemma” thing!
Even though I’ve been published both in academic journals and on the letters to the editor page in newspapers, I maintain that one of the most creative things I’ve ever done in my life is something I did with some friends when I was about 13 or so. It was a song parody completely based on an in-joke that nobody else would understand.
The song we parodied was the 1983 dance-pop hit “Let the Music Play” by the single-named performer Shannon. (Yes kids, before Brandy and Jewel, there was Shannon — hey, why am I saying “kids”? We previously established that I’m one of the young ones here…)
You can watch the video for Shannon’s song on YouTube if you so desire.
The new lyrics we wrote were about going to the local corner store to play the video games there, and the proprietor’s attempt to be jocular with us. Here are our lyrics:
We walked into Norm’s and some of the games had been moved
And one of them had been removed
They weren’t so bad, yes his newer games had a broad range
So I went to go get some change
I thought it was clear that all this money here was just to be spent by myself
But when Norm got the change, the plan was rearranged, he kept three quarters for himself
I started wondering why these three coins were removed
Thought Norm is some kind of a goof
What is he trying to prove
And he say
Three for Norm, eh
Well, that can be my pay
Don’t try and run away
‘Cause I’ll catch up to you and say
Three for Norm, eh
Or I won’t let you play
Get out of the doorway
And don’t come back again today
julia
April 12th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
On my Chron “build your own” comics page, some of the comics aren’t showing. Is this happening to anyone else, and can it be fixed?
Dean Booth
April 12th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
FC: I knew that hammer would come in handy.
…Still working two jobs. Hope to be back in snarkville soon.
[Oops, posted this on the wrong thread first try.]
Squid Countess
April 12th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
cmePeople, people, people. Sometimes I think I’m the only one here who was raised in a genuine Plugger home. Yes, you save every foam egg carton you can get, but not to put jewelry in. You cut the individual cups out of the carton in “tulip” shape, put green pipe cleaners in them, arrange them in a nice jelly jar and put them on the end table and/or the top of the TV. You go out of your way to get a different pastel-colored carton each time you buy eggs, but if you can only get white, that’s OK, since you can color them with felt-tip markers. With a pretty piece of ribbon glued around the edge of the jar, these make a thoughtful gift. Other purposes for the egg carton include starting seeds and sorting buttons. As Sheliagh mentioned, you put your jewelry in a shoebox or a nice candy box that you’ve covered in contact paper. You make sections in the jewelry box with cardboard from a cereal box, which you also cover in contact paper.
That Pluggers is completely bogus.
I know O’Fogeyette said she kept jewelry in an egg carton, but I suspect some hippie-type experience was in play there, not Pluggerdom.
Uncle Lumpy
April 12th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
#251 Julia –
That happens when the Chron changes its listings and invalidates components of the “build your own” URL. You can fiddle with the numbers in the URL so they point to the correct comics and “Add to Favorites”, rebuild the page from scratch, or tolerate multiple appearances of 9 Chickweed Lane, the lowest-numbered, and therefore the default, comic.
FREE HOWARD NOW
April 12th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Someone asked whether Pluggers is wrongly depicting a chicken hen with a comb, when only roosters have them. This may have been addressed in the 250 or so posts above, but I couldn’t find it. Well, both genders have combs, with the females of most breeds having smaller ones.
The question was also based on a second false premise, that only females wear jewelry or need containers for their jewelry.
One thing is clear– a real plugger would know better than to question the gender of a chicken in a comic strip.
Plunk Your Magic Twanger
April 12th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
MW: You won’t take “No” for an answer, Mary? How about “Fuck off and leave me alone, just keep away from me, you horrible old bitch! I swear to God if you so much as look at me again I’ll kill you!” Will you take that?
GT: That hideous mutant arm in panel three will give me nightmares, I can feel it.
MT: In panel two, Sally has lost weight or gained height. Didn’t she used to have that female Ewok vibe going, like Cherry?
andreavis
April 12th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
#256 Plunk — in re. MT — I think Sally has gained the illusion of height through her slimming jumpsuit. (Hey, it’s why Elvis wore jumpsuits, they hid his fluctuating weight.) Also, she is sporting a Shelley Hack-ish longer hairstyle, and groovy aviatrix shades. She is working the Charlie’s Angels vibe…Right on!
True Fable
April 12th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
FC Thel is going to snap Billy’s arm like a twig. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s panel, “Mom! Jeffy’s writing obscenities on my cast…and he’s spelling them all wrong!”
DT What happened to the gun in the Queen’s hand? Dick just diverted her aim, we didn’t see it pop out of her grasp! NO, I really want to know, I have stretched my disbelief just as far as it will go. Poteet? Any thoughts? You would think there’d be a loud “QUONK” when the gun hit the floor, or something.
A3G Alan, if you really need to make yourself feel bad, hunt up Margo and let her diss you for awhile. That should satisfy your need to totally rip yourself up.
MW Oh, so it’s a Crime for Aldo to not take no for an answer, but not Mary! It’s wrong for Jeff to try to help Vietnamese orphans, but it’s okay for Mary to bring him back to do nothing in America because she misses him but never sees him!
Why do I chew on this? I know what to expect of Mary by now. I need to go chew on Karen Moy.
S4th Third panel. Sally, don’t just threaten her with the knife like that. Use it. Who’s gonna miss Jackie?
BB QUESTION: Didn’t Beetle used to wear a rounder, sort of baseball kind of green cap? When did everyone start wearing the Fidel Castro-style headgear? Or have I just been hallucinating and there were NEVER baseball style caps on Beetle’s head?
Yeah, like the answer is the key to the end of world hunger or something, but really it’s just the key to keeping me a little more sane.
FBoFW Winking Mr. Stibbs in the final panel means he and John are pulling a fast one on Elly, only Elly already has it figured out so it’s not really a fast one, and Lynn is actually doing a shout-out to all Curmudgeons saying, “Yes, I know I telegraphed this a long time ago, but I’m STILL going to make you suffer right up to and including the month of September!”
Yes….but we don’t care because we know your strip is lame, and you haven’t figured it out YET.
True Fable
April 12th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I thought so! My hmtl skills are lame so I’ll just c&p:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070330&name=Beetle_Bailey
It was mashed up but it was originally a round topped cap. Then in April he started sporting the flat-topped cap.
Is this a sign that the Walkers are slowly overhauling Camp Swampy? Or just another sign of the Apocalypse?
Little Debbie
April 12th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Recently, I read in a women’s magazine that egg cartons were good for storing small Christmas tree balls. My dad had a cousin that used to make roses out of egg cartons. I think her hobby was making useless things out of trash.
#195 Trotzenbonnie – The interspecies/intrafamily coition distinction between Pluggers and Rednecks doesn’t apply if the Redneck owns a sheep farm.
Lizardmess
April 12th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Come on Brad and Luann, just make out already.
9CL: Is it really necessary to read more than one 9 Chickweed Lane? Couldn’t you just read the same one over and over again?
FOOB: FW is getting incestuous, Luann has been for months now, it’s time for two of the Pattersons to go roadside, and you know it won’t be St. Liz. Who am I kidding, at best we can hope for beastiality.
Heckler123
April 12th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Forgive me if someone’s mentioned this. I haven’t been reading the CC lately, because my daughter has been in the hospital with sepsis – nasty stuff!
Anyway, I just looked through the last week or so of MW, and I was wondering…..isn’t Mary doing the exact same thing to Vera that Aldo did to Mary a couple of story lines ago? The unannounced visits, the unwanted company????
Why is is charitable concern when Mary does it, but it’s stalking when Aldo does it?
Charles
April 12th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Why is there a conehead playing in today’s Gil Thorp? I can’t believe her parental units permitted such extracirricular behavior.
Non-Shannon
April 12th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Treedweller:
As a fellow Austinite, I also took it upon myself to politely ask the AA-S to discontinue B.C. Solidarity, brother!
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
#248, I never stopped calling them “albums.” More albums are now distributed on compact disc (and then redistributed on the interweb, but I digress) than on black vinyl, but we’re still talking about collections of songs corraled into one place.
julia
April 12th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
#254-Uncle Lumpy
I tried rebuilding the page from scratch (because I am nowhere near technologically savvy enough to “fiddle with the URL” or what-have-you), and that didn’t work, but it’s fine. Thanks anyway…
True Fable
April 12th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
#262 Heckler – well yes, we have been saying that but you know what? It bears repeating because Mary is such a holier-than-thou do no wrong, it’s delightful when we catch her in The Very Act, and everyone who points it out should be able to count coup on the old bat!
Score yourself a point and keep on snarkin’!
TurtleBoy
April 12th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
#262 Heckler123: Mary can’t be a stalker. “Worth” isn’t an anagram for “stalker.”
fuzzmaster
April 12th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Re Funkycest: Batiuk said in his blog in early April:
So I’m guessing this plotline is leading not to Funkycest but to a simple birthmother plot. Because Lisa’s babydaddy was Frankie, a football player at Big Walnut Tech. Meanwhile, Jessica Darling is the daughter of the late John, as noted above. (John, of course, was famously murdered at the end of his own eponymous strip’s life, a harbinger of the dark turn Batiuk would take.)
AAckTTpth
April 12th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Mark Trail leaving the country? This is just an excuse for Elrod to draw the gi-normous animals of another country. Oh, wait. The animals outside the Lost Plutonium Forest are normal-sized. What a disappointment. I’ll have to continue not reading Mark Trail.
fuzzmaster
April 12th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Forget a spellchecker. What a site that’s grown as large as this one needs is a redundancy checker. I see via Google that Marion Delgado laid out the Winkerbeanian genealogy way back on 3/27.
At what point will all comix knowledge and all possible jokes/puns/parodies have turned up in the comments here, so we can just sit around like those guys in the old joke:
Guy A: “43!” (laughter)
Guy B: “43!” (Dead silence) “Hey, why no laughs for me?”
Guy C: “He tells it funnier.”
Gabe
April 12th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
BBThere are several old style hats that Mort goes through. He also waffles on color. None of it is remotely modern, but he’s states explicitly BB is not meant to reflect today’s Army.
The original few years when it went to being an Army strip it was a fucking fabulous send up, tho. If you get a chance to dig those up, do.
vkbceb
April 12th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
219:Stinky Pete: I should read more carefully. I defer to your promptness!
King Folderol
April 12th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Luann – Brad. Dude. Man.
Unlike Josh, I do have a sister. I can tell you that the last thing I want to do is involve her in any conversation that involves her thinking about my bed and how said bed might possibly involve semen-stained sheets. It just isn’t done. I nearly threw up all over my monitor thanks to your apparent pride in how much action you’re getting in your king size bed. You knucklehead.
blueberry
April 12th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Hi, I’m new. I have questions that Need To Be Answered and I have clearly come to the right place.
#269 et al, re. the Funky W. kids being related: We know that Daren’s biological mother is Lisa and father is the football player who was insufficiently important to be kept on in the strip. We also know that Jessica’s father is John Darling, but do we know who her mother is/was? Could it be that Mrs. Darling had an, um, acquaintance with a hunky football player, unbeknownst to Mr. Darling? Or, might a cute cheerleader have found herself in the family way the same year Lisa did, and for the same reason, and the Darlings adopted a blonde girl baby?
It’s clear the kids can only be half-siblings at most, but I am just dying for the long-awaited big adoption reveal to be something even the readers don’t know. In other words, something actually worth revealing.
Also, those kids look way too much alike. Even if they aren’t brother and sister, isn’t it creepy to be making out with someone who looks like your twin?
blase
April 12th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
I still stand by my original Funky hypothesis! Jennifer notes the similarity between Darrin and his “adopted” parents. This hints at even more dark secrets in the somber Funkyverse. Eventually it’s revealed that Fred Fairgood, depressed over his wife’s barrenness, had a moment of indiscretion with Lisa (who was distraught over her breakup with Les). Shortly thereafter the kid from the other high school was paid to have a one-night-stand with her just to throw everyone off the trail of who really got Lisa pregnant. Fred offered support and she arranged that he could adopt the child. …So, this story arc won’t be about incest, but educators having affairs with minors!
Merriedeath
April 12th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
You’re a plugger if the girl you bring home to see your bedroom is your kid sister.
Trotzenbonnie
April 12th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Enough with the king size bed already.
I want to hear more about what Brad does with his weenie, crackers, peanut butter and cheez whiz.
CrabbyGenes
April 12th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
About the Friday FBOFW: I KNEW IT! April is upset, and she has every right to be. I hope she throws a huge tantrum and lets all those selfish pigs (Michael, John, and other characters who will be swayed by the first two) know exactly how she feels.
I think John (and Elly?) have a nerve, making THEIR life-decisions without even considering their youngest daughter, whom THEY decided to have, SO LATE IN LIFE. April has already gotten the worst deal of anyone in the strip, what with her older sister AND her older brother moving back in, and now she’s going to get dumped on some more?! Selfish pig Michael! Selfish pig John! Selfish Pigs ALL of you who agree to this house-thing!!! Curses be upon you!
Living up to my moniker today. Guess I was just born to be crabby! Or Johnston brings it out in me. Or both.
CrabbyGenes
April 12th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
(see my #279 first)
But not so crabby as to forget to thank the people who have enlightened me as to the Funky Winkerbean story and its possibilities, and their theories– #269 and #271 fuzzmaster, #275 blueberry, and #276 blase. Thank you! I enjoyed reading your comments! I’m still not sure if I have the fortitude to keep reading this strip–I consider it rather a downer–but I’m glad to understand better what might be going on!
PS and, sorry if I have missed anybody in the list above!
blase
April 12th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
#269 The reason we see a similarity between Darrin and Jessica is because Batiuk (or his ghost artist, whatever the case may be) doesn’t know how to draw feminine-looking faces — especially ever since John Byrne did a stint ghosting FW with his weird lipless jut-jawed style. “Becky” has been looking like Tom Cruise ever since…
MW: Now we’re about to get pummelled by platitudes about “what goes around, comes around”. This is made even more hamfistedly obvious by how similar Vera’s (Vera the Mirra?) face looks to Mary’s. Will Mary be confronted with an “intervention” soon?
Anonymous
April 12th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
264–non-Shannon Power to the People!
It occurs to me if I can vote for state quarters and favorite recreation areas in nebraska or whatever the hell that was, others can vote to change the comics lineup here. Come on, curmudgeonites. The worst that can happen is the comics email account checker has a story to tell friends at Guero’s over ritas this weekend. comics@statesman.com
BC must die.
Tomcat
April 13th, 2007 at 12:04 am
Luann: “You’re dreaming already” What Luann means is having a wet dream.
Brad can afford a king sized bed, but he can’t even afford some decent food to last him a week?
blueberry
April 13th, 2007 at 12:16 am
#276 blase: OK, I’m game. What if Fred also had a little dalliance with another student, who then hurriedly and secretly had to marry John Darling to cover that up?? And maybe John never knew he wasn’t the real father? Or maybe Fred’s affair was with the already married Mrs. Darling, who maybe worked at the school?
Or, maybe Lisa actually gave birth to twins, and the midwife was Mrs. Darling, whose loveless marriage had left her pining for a child of her own? And she whisked the girl baby away to Aldraan…oops, I mean to her home, and told John it had been orphaned? And they never told Jessica she was adopted? But then later, at the Ewok’s party…oops… sorry. I just need this to turn out to be something sufficiently interesting to merit my otherwise inexplicable continued reading of FW.
Mibbitmaker
April 13th, 2007 at 12:53 am
4/13:
(DT)GT: WHOOP! Sudden switch again to some other new strip. Hmmm… I didn’t realize Chevy Chase looked that old now!
SForth: Bravely, Ted fights to defend his owning vinyl records, even employing the ol’ Margos! But to no avail. Poor guy has 2 women emasculating him now. Ted, not a deserving male, like Michael Patterson.
S-M: Yeah, no kidding, Sherlock Hitler! You don’t!
FOOB: Finally, part 2! You tell ‘em, Sanjaya –uh (ahem! ahem!) — I mean, April!
FC: …And you know what that means, PJ. Beatings, often.
Zits: Hey, if “Parental units” was good enough for the Coneheads…
blueberry
April 13th, 2007 at 12:55 am
FBoFW: The only way this can work out that I will find satisfying is this:
Mr Stibbs decides he just can’t leave his lovely little home. John, dejected, pleads with him until George agrees to let John set up his trains there. Eventually, John introduces George to the joys of model railroading, George offers him that second bedroom, and they live happily ever after.
Liz searches high and low for an apartment that meets her criteria and finds nothing until she answers an ad for a single, bare room, with a cold, stone floor. It’s furnished with a twin bed, gray woolen blanket and wooden crucifix. She becomes Sister Liz, learns to wield a mean ruler, and lives happily ever after. Warren, Paul, Anthony, Howard, et al join the church choir where they hope to catch a weekly glimpse of her.
April is finally tracked down by the humane society, arrested and charged with cruelty to Farley (the only beloved FBoFW character). She jumps bail and is never heard from again.
Deanna considers her options and decides to find a job in whatever city it is where Therese went. She initially finds just an apartment for herself to live in temporarily while she looks for a house or apartment there for her family, but then forgets to keep looking. She also forgets to give Mike her new address and phone number. She lives happily ever after.
This leaves Elly, Mike and the babies to live together in the old house. Elly continues to do all the motherly crap and Mike continues to do all the childish crap, and the kids turn out to be totally psychotic.
The end.
Mibbitmaker
April 13th, 2007 at 1:06 am
More 4/13:
MT: Well, Mark, I dunno…. could it be that, well, maybe, that DAN IS INSIDE THE DAMN ROOM??? Sarcastic yelling’s lost on that guy.
MW: Aw, looks like Vera finally caved. Mary: “Thaaat’s right…. just hand me your free will riiiiiiiight nowwwwwwww…right in my hand here… thaaaaat’s it….”
Agnes: Nope. It won’t work for Don Imus, and it certainly won’t work for you, either.
True Fable
April 13th, 2007 at 2:58 am
MT You know, if I talked to myself aloud as much as Mark talks aloud to himself, I would be put in a straight jacket and checked into the nearest Hotel Silly. And I mean it! Every single sentence! Ends with an exclamation point! Or shouted in bold! Holy Giant Rainbow Trout.
JP I wonder if the writer just forgot about Cedric and Mysterious Wife and Aunt Rachel and Old Bone, and Sam and Randy and the Judge, and just plans to call this Hanging Around in Paris. Cut to the fuckin’ chase already! Burn the punks and go the hell HOME.
And Sam, if you don’t jump Abbey’s bones the second she walks in the front door, you are Walking Shame.
Lynngineering
April 13th, 2007 at 3:08 am
FBOFW: I’m going to wait till the new thread to enjoy commenting on the fruits borne from Michael’s non-stop fantasy (ahem-the return of April drag-queen mode and all) but I just wanted to add here, you know that Spider-brick character being developed as we write? I suggest it could start with a guest appearance, any day now, in FOOBland.
“What ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEE -uh- (KLUNK!)”
Cafangdra
April 13th, 2007 at 3:13 am
I shudder to contemplate the pornography that’s about to ensue in today’s Plugger’s.
True Fable
April 13th, 2007 at 3:20 am
#279 Crabby Genes – Amen and YouBetcha, it’s about time LJ decided to mention the ragchild of the family. It should be so obvious to the entire family by now that Mike is Elly’s golden child. And you know what will happen, don’t you – even if we are treated to April tell her family off, they are just going to tell her she’s an ungrateful spoiled teen.
I just take this strip a day at a time any more. I have absolutely no hope for it to ever be realistically redeemed. I can say “I hope Warren ploughs his helicopter straight into the full Foob household” or “let’s see Liz get knocked up” or “let’s see April get knocked up” or “Let’s see Dee walk out on Mike” but it won’t happen. I’m just laughing at this bizarre little play even though it long ago stopped being humorous.
point and laugh, crabby. point and laugh, and snark. :)
True Fable
April 13th, 2007 at 3:26 am
Yeah, see – April’s gone over to the Dark Side a little further by repeating the Foob Mantra – “What about MEEEEeeee?” She’s almost beyond the point of no return. All she has to do is win a record contract with that pitiful song she warbled, or quit school after promising she would finish, and the next thing you know her hips will pop right out of her pants and her hair will form a tight bun and her tits will never see ‘lift and separate’ ever ever again.
Frank Parsnip
April 13th, 2007 at 3:48 am
It’s not about Brad’s sex or sleep, it’s pure business. Brad won’t sleep in it often because the bed is intended for the men he procures for Luann.
However it does make me think of a new Plugger line: “A Plugger’s idea of supreme luxury is a quilted pillow top.” In place of an animal, they can just show Brad, as-is.
Frank Parsnip
April 13th, 2007 at 4:22 am
If April isn’t consulted on the house swap/purchase deal, then Mike will be faced with teens, sailors, etc. breaking into the basement make-out room looking in vain for April.
Lynngineering
April 13th, 2007 at 4:52 am
FOOB: Ok I was pondering my earlier comment about the amazing Spider-brick guest appearance, cued on “meeeeee”. I don’t know if the brick’s trajectory is allowable, or possible, that is – can Michael, in his coma fantasy long underway to the state of september, have another character in the family fall into a coma, due to one said brick.
That would start going all mirrors-onto-mirrors thingy. No way out then – well, ok, there is the OBVIOUS way out, if Dee ever gets the guts and a gun, but that isn’t going to happen. Dream on Michael, you’re still safe.
Johnny
April 13th, 2007 at 4:55 am
What is going on with Mr. Weatherbee’s dental work in Archie? The second panel of today’s strip looks like a page out of “The Big Book of British Smiles.” Freaks me out.
Jamus The Bartender
April 13th, 2007 at 5:50 am
FOOB:
See the Pattersons move houses.
Move, move, move.
See Elly worry.
Worry, worry, worry.
Shave, shave, shave.
John is happy. He has a place for his trains.
Choo, choo, choo , choooooooooooo.
Mike is happy. He doesn’t have to move out.
We’re not sure how Deanna feels yet.
See April freak out.
Freak, freak, freak.
Now she has to live in the little house with the bedroom RIGHT NEXT DOOR to her folk’s bedroom.
This makes it harder for April to have strange men over.
Sorry Roadside.
So much for coming out of your shell.
Goaty
April 13th, 2007 at 6:09 am
PBS- I for one welcome the return of the sumo squirrels.
Islamorada Girl
April 13th, 2007 at 6:30 am
I had a nightmare last night in which I was being chased by Giant Chicken Lady from Pluggers. I woke up scrambling.
Molly Ringwald
April 13th, 2007 at 7:14 am
For Better or Worse: Why is April trying to look like ME!
AAckTTpth
April 13th, 2007 at 7:15 am
289 –
Shouldn’t that be “THONNK“?
Little Guy
April 13th, 2007 at 7:24 am
FBoFW, for the past 16 years, can be condensed into a two-panel TDIET:
- Elly and John, feeling wistful about the prospect of an empty nest, decide to have another child.
- Sixteen years later, and all the children come home to roost — guess which one they ignore! ( arrow caption April with “The Urge”)
commodorejohn
April 13th, 2007 at 7:46 am
FOOB – damn, April sure gets screwed over a lot. “What about me?” Sorry, April, you’re persona non grata in this strip. It doesn’t matter what you want, it doesn’t matter that you grew up in this house and it’s always been home to you, the Gods have decreed that the Great House Swap shall take place. And yes, you’ll most likely wind up sharing your tiny room with Liz until the day when Granthony sweeps her off into sexless matrimony, but hey, it’s not about you, after all. Remember, parents, it’s perfectly okay to make your red-headed-stepchild child miserable if it’s convenient for your downsizing goals and your oldest child’s upsizing goals. And Lynn, we know you really don’t give a damn about April, but do you have to actively make her look worse? We know you use her as the voice of “youthful inexperience” despite the fact that she’s displayed more sense than any other character in the strip, but this authorial display of “you’re a jerkface, April, so there times infinity plus one” is just a little exasperating.
Side note: I’m going to try recording gh’s “Imagine” for a karaoke contest. I will post it here if the results are acceptable. Wish me luck.
ohyes
April 13th, 2007 at 7:47 am
A3G: What a lame birthday party! Streamers, balloons, pointed hats, what professionalism.
Surely this girl has been an avid watcher of MTV’s “My Sweet Sixteen,” and she’s knows what’s missing: large plasma screens showing glamor photos of the birthday girl in a bathing suit on a yacht, a new sports car or two, costumed serving boys, television camera crews, and a name band performing live (perhaps Maroon 5 – I hear from a teenage girl that they have a new song out). Oh, and at least one relative.
Dear, loving Uncle Eric can have no excuse for missing this party, except a date with twins.
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 7:48 am
When is Chennux going to help us acquire a new thread?
For now, I’ll just say this:
Mary Froth is spewing at the mouth now, pulling an Aldo on Vera – “I can’t possibly eat alone! Noooo! My digestion is so much better when I can meddle between bites of tuna casserole!”
Next thing you know Mary will be giving Vera flowers with a card that reads “One good turn deserves another. – Luv, Mary.”
FOOB – on the other hand, no one, as usual, pays attention to April. She truly is this family’s “accident.”
I propose that she immediately go roadside with Gerald on the sidewalk in front of the FOOB Compound.
John C Fremont
April 13th, 2007 at 8:00 am
So yesterday’s comments left me not only singing Gilbert O’Sullivan, but the OTHER Shannon who recorded the song Abergavenny which (sigh) I have on 45 somewhere. Thanks, guys.
# 268 – No, Mary Worth is not an anagram for “Stalker,” but it is for “Self Rightious Butt-insky.” Or “Shit-head,” I can’t remember which.
MT – To answer the question of what kind of vehicle Mark is driving, I’m pretty sure it’s a mid-sixties Land Rover, available at most rental places in the parallel universe Mark calls home.
MW – I can’t wait until Vera organizes an “intervention” to keep Mary away from her, climaxing with “You’d better not!” shouted in unison. Pretty sure Mary’s old friend is named Sherry.
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:01 am
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0&page=1&quality=high&cpp=8&c=112&c=71&c=20&c=116&c=118&c=144&c=123&c=130&c=140
Funky: “Maybe you should think about it.” Ha ha ha! What a knee-slapper! Y’know what would have been even funnier? If she said “Maybe you should think about it.” OMG, that would be the best!!!
Mallard is … oh, never mind.
Mark Trail is obviously using his cloaking device, or else Sally would have easily discovered that she’s being followed at 40 feet by a 1932 Plymouth tugboat chugging behind her, which now standing idling in a motel parking lot. This is suspense at its finest, though – I wonder what she’s doing? Mark, maybe Dan isn’t out of the country after all. Ding! Whoa, what a leap of intuition, eh?
Note to aspiring criminals: Stop taping yourselves comitting crimes! Criminals of old used to go to great lengths in order NOT to be seen by security cameras. Do you not read all those “News of the Weird” stories of people getting caught because of this amazingly stupid and astoundingly idiotic act?
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:14 am
#305 – Calico – interesting point about Mary becoming Vera’s Aldo. My only hope is that Mary ends up the same way. That, and after Mary’s trip to Wine/Liquor, that she walks out with a plastic bottle of Kentucky Gentleman Bourbon, rather than Johnnie Walker Gold Label. And, after her lifeless body is discovered at the bottom of a canyon, the police first contact a random neighbor rather than someone who gives a crap.
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 8:16 am
#307 – I thought Mark was piloting a Goosemobile!
Sort of like a Segway with wings.
DtM – and, Dennis and Joey-boy learn how to pilot a Barber’s bouncy-chair together! Wow, this feels so good-let’s do it again!
And Mary Contrary, she just keeps riding her broom, her 1985 Biddy-Mobile, and her inflated ego.
Maybe Vera actually has it in for Mary financially, and like Chippendale Dan is planning a scam, now that she’s heard that Mary has an inheritance.
Hummm…as Dean Booth said, “It’s Showtime!” (?)
John C Fremont
April 13th, 2007 at 8:17 am
TDIET – Not really much of a joke today, but the idea was submitted by TV Couch Potato of Cincinnati, Ohio. This isn’t proof that potatoes talk, but they can write lame comic ideas. Guess they’re at least sentient, if not verbal.
Lynngineering
April 13th, 2007 at 8:17 am
#301 AAckTTpth – the KLUNK is the Canadian THONNK
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am
4/13
(DT)GT: Spicing up the action by cutting to a retirement colony in the last panel? Well played!
BaBl: I can’t wait until Marvin uses this punchline.
FC: A-ha, let the games begin, little one!
MT: Why would an unaccompanied woman be stopping at an airport motel? Watch and learn, nature boy. Watch and learn.
BC: I’m sorry, Johnny, but even for a dying man, this fat joke is kinda lazy.
SSmith: Wow. It seemed like the punchline was going to involve a frontier abortion clinic.
Big Dog: Judging from the size of that hole, it seems that the Dog is “investing” the remains of a missing wino.
Ziggy: A chicken coming out of the Zigster’s bedroom? Lovely to see him back on the dating scene.
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am
#308 – Maybe they are both so eternally dysfunctional that Mary will end up adopting Vera, sort of like a 21st-century Doris Duke.
One more thing before I shut up and go to work – SF (Sally, not Slylock) –
“Finger Quotin’ Ted!” Yeaaahh!
Jeanne
April 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am
April is going to have to move roughly 2 blocks away from where she lives now. She isn’t going to have to change schools, she’ll have her own room, and little else will change. She’s so spoiled she’ll probably convince the ‘rents to build her own little shack-up shack on the extra property. It can serve as the train station for John’s obsession. Isn’t that where the old west hookers plied their trade, anyway?
Trotzenbonnie
April 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am
FBOFW – Is it easier to get old in Canadia?
I can’t think of a more financially devastating thing to do when approaching retirement age than taking on a new mortgage–other than encouraging your oldest son to go into hock up to his eyeballs so he won’t be there to help you pay for something more tasty than the generic store-brand cat food you’ll be dining on as the foreclosure notices start piling up on your dusty credenza.
What the hell?
Sally Forth – How many albums did Bread have??!!!
(I remember Bread’s Greatest Hits. Every guy had it as make-out inspiration music. Blechh! Nothing beats Led Zeppelin 1 as background music for watching the submarine races.)
stinky pete
April 13th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Things that MARY WORTH actually anagrams to:
HA! TRY, WORM
MATH WORRY
WORMY HART
WHY MORTAR
WHO MARTYR
WARM TRY, HO
TARRY WHOM
ARROW MYTH
MARY THROW
ARMY WORTH
make of it what you will!
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:24 am
BB: Company “B”
Sally Forth “podcast”… “Bread”
Spoony Bard
April 13th, 2007 at 8:24 am
FW (4/13) – Now, I know you’ve known that you are adopted for quite some time, love your adoptive parents (so much so that you consider them your real parents) and generally have a very happy and healthly outlook on life; however, you lack emotional scars and are therefore uninteresting. I suggest, nay demand and am willing to guilt trip, that you create wounds where none exist and generally turn you life upside down. You know, just throwin’ that out there.
Judge Parker – You know, it may not be belching flames, but that is still a fairly large hunk of metal. You could always just hit him in the head with it…or anything else laying around in there really.
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:28 am
That principal guy in Archie has two antennae instead of hair. I do like his look of sheer terror in believing that Mrs. Beasley can read his filthy mind, full of dirty thoughts on what he likes to do with senior citizens. Yeah, dat’s right. Slammin’ granny in da fanny!
Foobar
April 13th, 2007 at 8:35 am
250- The best parody I’ve ever done was making a home movie with my friends and I’m going to warn you now that this will make no sense at all to probably all of you. Please inform me if I am wrong here, because I wish to be astounded.
-It was, generally, a zombie thriller, but the plot and characters were broadly culled from an awful SNES game “Wanderers from Ys III” and all the dialogue, without exception, was from either Ys or House of the Dead (or more accurately, Typing of the Dead) and delivered in exactly the same stilted way. So we ended up with scenes like this…
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:37 am
FC: So is PJ sweatin’ it until – God no – another of the Keene infestation is born? I’m not quite sure of the circumstances of how this Billy/Dolly/Jeffy/PJ meeting took place. Was Billy beating on Dolly? Then Dolly suggests they team up against Jeffy, who in turn offers his even younger brother PJ as the lowest on the pecking order, least capable of defending himself, and could not possibly fend off one crazed older sibling let alone all three in concert. You cruel, sadistic bunch of hellions. PJ’s blood is on your hands, Bil and Thel, and those of your children!
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Hagar has moved to Ziggy’s house – and it wasn’t funny even then.
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Blandie: Narcoleptic doctors are funny!
“Nurse, scalpel.”
“Scalpel.”
“Clamps, please.”
“Clamps.”
“Zzzzz Sknxxx… ”
“Doctor? You just sliced this man’s kidney.”
Foobar
April 13th, 2007 at 8:49 am
(INT. BASEMENT)
-Fortune teller: “Dogi of Redmont… will you have your fortune read?” (we simulated a crystal ball by burning incense in a fishbowl)
-Dogi: I will pass.
-Fortune teller: What will you do?
-Dogi’s friend: Yes.
-Fortune teller: (The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball) I forsee… danger!
-(A stuffed cat is thrown at the camera. Cut scene. Dogi is standing on the cat.)
-Dogi: We did it! The river of life continues to ebb and flow.
(EXT. POORLY LIT BACKYARD)
Dogi’s friend: Heard a noise, over there…?
(pause)
Zombie: (lurching out from behind a shrub) Dooooolan!
(Dogi and his friend hack it to death.)
Dogi: Zombies?
(pause. dubbed wireless-phone-locating-ring. dogi picks up.)
Gold-man (on phone): Suffer like G did?
Dogi: G’s bloodstains?
Gold-man: I will use Doolan. (scene cut to show Gold-man at desk)
Gold-man: Dogi of Redmont. Time. He made a move…? (Goldman stands to leave. He is wearing a suit jacket and swim trunks.)
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Ziggy’s diner could get their eggs from any plugger’s jewelry box kept in the refrigerator.
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 8:53 am
Foob: What about meeeeee?
There are two bedrooms in the house. I imagine that April would have one. Why would John & Elle sleep in seperate rooms?
Oh, the three reasons named Mike, Liz and April. Yeah, those. Never mind.
John C Fremont
April 13th, 2007 at 8:54 am
Stinky Pete, I vote for Arrow Myth. I can just see Mary screaming “Dude looks like a lady!”
Dennis Jimenez
April 13th, 2007 at 8:57 am
MW – If you could use THE COMPANY, perhaps you should retain the Affect Advertising Agency.
Hogen Mogen
April 13th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Dick Tracy April 10 – I’m a bit late to see this. “There’s only one person I know that dresses in strange costumes… ” What? Dick Tracy? His world is populated by freakish mutant clowns as if it were a constant Star Trek convention.
willethompson
April 13th, 2007 at 9:23 am
RMMD: Technically, Milton Avery is not dead – he’s only missing – yet his chaffeur is putting the succession plan into action. So the guy who drives the car has durable power of attorney? Is ‘the domestic shall inherit the earth’ a comic trend? For instance, in JP, Groves the butler gets the Bentley AND gets to make the beast-with-two-backs with Aunt Rachel because of his ‘durable power of attorney.’
Dennis Jimenez
April 13th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Al Haig Syndrome – I’m in control here.
Forthillrox
April 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Which anagram of her name is a better description of our Mary?
Wormy Hart
-Maybe not the correct spelling but Hart is an Irish surname and close enough to be a very fitting double entendre.
Or
Warm try, Ho.
-Ho has been in the news too much lately, but it seems to work well here.
Buck Ripsnort
April 13th, 2007 at 9:39 am
After careful study, I’ve decided Mark Trail’s driving a golf cart, and that’s why he appears to be shouting. Lotta echo in those little things.
srah
April 13th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Judge Parker actually made me laugh today.
What’s that? Serial strips aren’t supposed to be funny?
cheech wizard
April 13th, 2007 at 9:41 am
FOOB: “But what about me?!?!”
Oh, sorry, April – we thought that since you’re all growed up now at 16, dressing like a slut and clearly planning to work the streets, we’d give you a head start by kicking you out on them.
Get thee to a bus station – and take your guitar with you, along with a hat. You’re going to need both.
Dennis Jimenez
April 13th, 2007 at 9:44 am
I think buskering homeless teen ho frozen in time would be twice as good as FBoFW.
ohyes
April 13th, 2007 at 9:47 am
A3G: Professional party planner Margo had the exquisite taste to include a cardboard “Happy Birthday” sign – perhaps hand-lettered! – and to hang it at an angle that is so edgy and “awesome.”
Perfect!
lesles
April 13th, 2007 at 9:58 am
seriously, josh, from what i’ve seen since i’ve been coming here (and i’m not game to look on my own), “plugger horror” could sit easily over any pluggers panel.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 13th, 2007 at 10:03 am
#332,
“Wormy Hart” is the right spelling if you’re talking about a mangy deer. Okay, I guess it would be a pretty abstract metaphor…
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Math Worry
and
Army Throw
Mary would make one hell of a Sgt. in the army -”You poor thing-looks like you’ve been crying. Let me help you shine your shoes, dearie.”
Then she rips out her blowtorch.
God, I need a comics intervention. Is there a meeting of CA (Comics Anonymous) coming up soon?
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 10:07 am
I’m not finding much to snark about in today’s strips, except for Vera’s strange mutable ponytail. I LOVED Bizarro (check it out, especially if you like sixth-grade humor, which totally cracks me up) and am beginning to love PBS, which I formerly hated. Just love those sumo squirrels.
I have yet to read the rest of the comics. More coffee, mule!
Klipper
April 13th, 2007 at 10:10 am
GF: I got Nirvana and Pink Floyd and I’m going with Micheal Jacksons Thriller for today.
Dingo
April 13th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Wow. Over 300 posts. Is Josh on vacation again? Could he be trapped in a cage in Anthony’s basement?
willethompson
April 13th, 2007 at 10:15 am
O’Fogeyette! Thank heaven you’re here! Power up the coffee and end this thread before we eat our young!
Dingo
April 13th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Mary, you got some ‘xplainin’ to do. When Aldo Kelrast — a man who looked quite similar to Marie Dressler with a smaller mustache — wanted someone to spend time with him and dine together, you drove him to drink and drive his car off of a cliff. Now, Vera Shields has asked for the same privacy that you asked of Aldo. And you’re not taking “NO!” for an answer! One can only hope that this ends with you purchasing a bottle of Johnny Walker and driving your own car over the edge.
Is this the end of rich old…?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
April 13th, 2007 at 10:23 am
Ted Forth looks like a female drag performer impersonating Conan O’Brien.
Gabe
April 13th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Dingo: Nah, he just posted earlier than usual yesterday.
Maybe he should throw up a metapost till he’s ready to do today strips? Maybe just a zany one-liner?
Gabe
April 13th, 2007 at 10:34 am
Only Gil Thorp can have a scene in the girls locker room be so unerotic.
Gabe
April 13th, 2007 at 10:38 am
275: Blueberry. Ask Shortpacked!’s David Willis. His girlfriend is basically him with longer hair and boobies.
Paperback Rifler
April 13th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Pearls Before Swine: Since today’s installment features a “sumo squirrel” ostensibly talking about ritual purification with salt, maybe you could call the whole shebang “Squirrels Before Brine.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . ha, ha, ha . . . ha, ha . . . um . . .
. . . So, that Aldo really looked a lot like Captain Kangaroo, huh?
commodorejohn
April 13th, 2007 at 10:45 am
#348 – On the list of things I hope to never see, Thorpian eroticism ranks in the top ten.
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 10:49 am
#253 Squid Countess: HAHA! No, no hippie-type thing was in play in my using egg cartons for jewelry. My teenage years were pre-hippie. The counterculturalistas of that time were the Beatniks, and yes, I imitated them by wearing black clothes with pale lipstick, but no lifestyle stuff (except angst and bad poetry). No, my egg-carton use stemmed from a peculiarity of my personality, which is that I’ve always been into making things and doing things, little artsy-fartsy-crafty things. In high school, for example, I created and made little creatures out of colored yarn and sold them all over town in school team colors. Liked to make my own picture frames or whatever. I still have that drive, but don’t indulge it as much. My family were not Pluggers, but my dad’s family were, and a lot of the thrifty-Plugger things would have been at home in our house. Sorry if this is TMI.
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 10:50 am
williethompson: I’m doing my best. I’ve had four cups of coffee and am about to read the rest of the comics.
rich
April 13th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Vera, you’re the best…the first person who’s ever dared to say no to MW! Of course, we all know she’ll buckle under eventually, but until then I love seeing her put Mary in her place.
I’m predicting she’ll unload another zinger in tomorrow’s strip, completing today’s “Well, if you need the company…”
Something to the tune of “…try the animal shelter!” (SLAM!)
CrashCat
April 13th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I really am far too optimistic, when I read that strip before the accompanying post, I thought he was insinuating he pulled a lot of shifts as a man in uniform and didn’t get to sleep at home often. It hadn’t occurred to me until I read the text below that he was bragging about how much tail he got.
Red Greenback
April 13th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Pluggers: The chicken ladyâ„¢ reminds me of Howie Mandel’s stand up routine from the 80’s.
Also, egg cartons, when glued to an interior wall, (the cardboard ones, not that polystyrene crap) offer an excellent sound insulator. Once upon a time, when our crappy garage band finally aquired a sufficient amount of cartons to do the job, the band broke up and never got together again.
Lynngineering
April 13th, 2007 at 11:01 am
FBOFW: Ok as thread doesn’t end YET, this should do it…
I like this set of panels today because it so condenses the coma fantasy at work. Michael starts plans to take over the Mom-house, by enlisting the character of Dad, who appears more lobotomized than usual in Mike’s fantasy, so much so he couldn’t manage the task of coming up with the OBVIOUS idea without tripping over the trains he imagined laid out in the backyard.
But Michael anticipated that, it’s his fantasy, he wanted Dad to get the burrrnnn from Elly, the house incarnate, Elly Mom-Editor of all things Foobian that Michael believes is his to re-run into profit for years to come when he reaches the state of september.
So the character of Elly says the obvious lines for Michael to of course answer:
“We’ve got 30 years of STUFF here.”
That’s pretty much Michael’s summation of their lives, they got 30 years of stuff. That’s the word: STUFF. Would adults who lived 30 years in a house just add it up like that? Or would their stupid son. Right. Script by Michael.
Then the second Michael-prepared, Elly-statement: “You’re also forcing Mike and Deanna to make a huge decision!” (THEY ARE RIGHT THERE…HELLO..Oh right, Michael script)
To which his fantasy already prepared answers , “It could work Mom, I’ve always loved this house” without of course any Dee participation. Dee? Yes, the mute one hanging off his arm with the bee-sting lips. Breeder, secretary, cook, accountant for all things Michael, the guy who days before was freaking-out, ready for a divorce, over moving to buy any stranger’s house.
This being Michael’s fantasy and he can’t handle too many word balloons at once, he stopped focusing along the way, probably staring too much at “Mom-house” licking his lips in anticipation, just getting comfortable and sure enough – bam – in slips the messenger April, the terminator, the shape-shifter court jester to the Foobs, here to stir it up again.
Like any good court-jester, she parodies the ruling class while at the same time appearing to play to their expectations. Her short performance work is a popular little number, performed often, entitled: “I LIVE HERE TOOO. WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE.”
I’m sure at that moment April slips into the scene again, in his hospital bed, Michael is grimacing, going, “D’oh!!”
Missy
April 13th, 2007 at 11:03 am
DtM: If Dennis was by himself asking for a chair ride it would be lame but with Prosti-Joey in that pink belly shirt the whole thing sounds super dirty. The look on the guys face doesn’t help.
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 11:07 am
DTGT: The aliens are tipping their hand(s) or perhaps tentacles today. Note the comment by the wavy-haired alien in panel two: “We’re not the truest TEAM I’ve ever seen.” It is obviously aware that their attempts at simulating humans are failing, and is hoping to find a way to make the other aliens better “team” members, that is, human-imitators. Meanwhile, in panel three, we see something inexplicable happening with an especially odd-looking alien in the mother ship.
A3G: OMG! Katy is even uglier than Gina.
MT: I’m sorry, but Mark’s stupidity in today’s strip is stupefying me. Gee, Mark, why could she possibly be going into the hotel? Perhaps she’s really a roadsider, and is looking to turn a few tricks while waiting for her flight. Maybe she has a small business set up, selling counterfeit jewelry, and keeps her stash there. Perhaps she is a wildlife rehabilitator and has some wounded beavers and a trained bear in there. GET A CLUE, MARK!
treedweller
April 13th, 2007 at 11:07 am
A3G–We’ve just had the sweet sixteen party? Isn’t that kid seventeen by now? It certainly looks like a year’s worth of hair growth since we last saw her.
MW–oops, someone accidentally flipped the negative of panel 2, reversing the positions of Mare and Vera.
Pluggers–even brand-new refrigerators sometimes come without icemakers, and I’ll bet at least 40% of pluggers have heard of icemakers even if they don’t own one. Too bad–such a brilliant concept spoiled by poor execution.
Also: You’re a plugger if you have opposable wings.
FOOB–can’t top #302.
rich
April 13th, 2007 at 11:14 am
319: Are Mizzes Beazley and Grundy long-lost sisters? What are the odds of Riverdale High finding two such women, whose breast sizes are measured in negative numbers? Those two put the “board” in Board of Education! Maybe someone with ‘puter skillz could redraw the strip, showing the large mammaries those gals actually possess but that Bob Montana and Co. have been afraid to show us all these years…
Red Greenback
April 13th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Aw, geez! I meant to say the band broke up like Humpty Dumpty, and the lethargy caused by our high cholesterol levels didn’t help.
I’m sorry, my snark ain’t what it used to be.
MossMoses
April 13th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Vera is such a sucker for food meddling. Now Mary Worth is using the lonely old lady needs company pity meddle technique. She is truly the alpha busybiddy! Curses upon Vera for caving like a trailer park in a tornado.
“Let’s see you threaten the Llongo or gentle Old Man Mozz again”. Isn’t that a bit loquacious for someone in the middle of a violent fist fight? I guess the ghost who blabs felt the need to outdo Old Man Mozz’s rumble in the jungle intro…
Mark “Sherlock” Trail is driving a UPS truck. That is the only explanation for his driving posture and the cavernous interior. It makes him more incognito when he’s trailing people. You don’t suppose Diver Dan could be in that hotel, do you Mark?
Damn those defective blowtorches! What’s that written on the bottom? “Crafted with pride by forced Chinese prison labor”.
queek
April 13th, 2007 at 11:30 am
MG&G: ok, the MILF joke I get.
F- was a creeper. I just kept finding it funnier and funnier the longer that I looked at it.
Candorville: yup, Rove with Hammerspace abilities.
Rhymes with Orange: another puzzle-page shout-out.
FOOB: wait, isn’t that Liz’s line?!?
Pibgorn: its pr0n.
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 11:31 am
#361 – No, silly, they’re lovers.
D’oh! ; )
calico
April 13th, 2007 at 11:33 am
#362 – It’ll return, Red, It’ll return.
Now where is that darn duck tape to hold it all together?
Just kidding – you’re always funny!
Anonymous
April 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
I hope these questions haven’t been asked before; I skimmed the thread but didn’t see them.
1) I’ve been reading 9 Chickweed Lane on and off for the past two years. I have no idea who the people in today’s strip are. Any help?
http://members.comics.com/members/common/affiliateArchive.do?site=spi&comic=chickweed
2) Does anyone have contact information for Tom Batiuk or his sydicate? I’m getting a little sick of how every Darrin-themed strip must involve him talking about being adopted, or engaging poignantly with Lisa. Like, we get it! He’s adopted! And if he doesn’t seem to care, why should the readers obsess over it? It also bothers me because I doubt we’re ever going to see his bio-dad, the jock who took advantage of Lisa, so why is it so important we understand that Lisa is his bio-mom?
bootsybooks
April 13th, 2007 at 11:45 am
# 209, Poteet, it’s not just you! I said somehting realy funny about Mary Worth to my mom the other day, and she looked really puzzled and said “You mean Apple Mary from the Depression?” and I laughed so hard I cried. She asked my sister if I was succumbing to PTSD!
#253, Countess, I am impressed! wow!
#299, I GirL, HAHAHAHA
#315, Trotzie, it was Vince Vance and the Valiants at the lakefront. Make of that obscurity what you will, people not from here!
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 11:53 am
#367: It has been speculated here that Darin and Lisa must meet, because Lisa will need a blood-marrow donor to survive her next bout with cancer. I subscribe to that theory as well.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 13th, 2007 at 11:55 am
#361 & 365, isn’t Miss Grundy just Jughead in drag?
Anonymous
April 13th, 2007 at 11:55 am
#369 Oh man! I didn’t even think about that!
I’m hoping to get an email address or something to write my displeasure about the whole obsession with Darrin being adopted. I dunno why, but it bugs me. Darrin doesn’t seem to care, but Batiuk can’t seem to stop talking about it.
Red Greenback
April 13th, 2007 at 11:56 am
#366-You mean “cluck tape”?- I’m sorry.
Uncle Lumpy
April 13th, 2007 at 11:58 am
#369 O’F -
Yeah, but they gotta walk past each other in the halls for about six freaking months first.
Trotzenbonnie
April 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
#368 – BOOTSY!
Whaadya know – Vince will be in Mandeville Saturday!
Kronkina
April 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
#367 Anonymous, re: 9CL: I don’t know the full story behind today’s featured characters, just that there was a story arc a while back showing the two of them throwing off their Chains O’God and hooking up. They had some help by Thorax, too, in a completely bizarre, unintelligible sort of way.
Dingo
April 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Sweet Gazongas of Gilgamesh! I just finally looked at the Luann strips (comic strips – I don’t even WANT to think about Luann stripping ala Roadside April) from this past week and Brad is eating cheese from a can!!! Black wall or not, he’s a plugger. Well… based on that “king” bed, his Michael Jackson-esque best friend, and lack of heterosexual dating prospects, I’d say with a six pack and a “rented by mistake” bisexual porn tape, he might be more of a Pluggee.
under_score
April 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
DT: Has Poteet checked in yet? I’m worried that the sight of the Queen of Diamonds in a low-cut body suit may have caused her to run away screaming, vowing never to return to the comics pages again. Oh yes, it is that scary. I wonder what the other royals in the deck have on under their robes? Er, on second thought, no, I don’t.
FOOB: Speaking of horror, here’s a thought–the freeze-in-time flashback strips will be Elly packing up “30 years worth of stuff”.
Dingo
April 13th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
under_score, holistic health stores sell a tea for that. Some tea and a high colonic will help rid Elly of that 30 years worth of stuff she’s packin’ but it doesn’t mean we’ll get the shit out of Lynn Johnston.
MossMoses
April 13th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
376. She’s already got a good ten years of junk packed up in her blubberous bum trunk.
Uncle Lumpy
April 13th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
#376 Dingo -
Gilgamesh had gazongas? Who knew?
#369 O’F -
JayJay foresaw the marrow saga last August. I think that’s the first reference here.
O’Fogeyette
April 13th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Well, I’ve done my best to end the thread. Perhaps I have lost my touch. I have to be gone most of the day and probably won’t check back in till tomorrow morning at coffee time. I’ll try to at least skim the three or four thousand messages that are sure to appear in my absence.
Dingo
April 13th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Uncle Lumpy, perhaps I should have written “great ganoids of Gilgamesh!” but it seemed too FOOBian. Plus, having seen 300 (Mmmph), some men have ripplin’ gazongas.
Poteet
April 13th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
# 377 — under_score, here I am, trying to catch up on comments (pant, pant). Thanks for your concern! It’s true that the low-cut bodysuit is (arrrgh) traumatizing. On the other hand, one thing I like about Queen of Diamonds is that compared to her, I actually have good hair.
But more disturbing, this weird strip continues to defy the laws of time and space. Per the ever-perceptive True Fable in # 258, Queen of D’s gun has been soundlessly transported into another dimension by the masculine wrist-grip of Tick Dracy. One moment the gun was in Queen’s hand, and the next moment, Tick grabbed her and the gun was gone, poof. Maybe it was beamed over to Foobville and April will use it on her family.
And of course there’s also Queen’s very odd hand exercises, her bizarre ta-ta shading, and the Black Eye Of The Brutus Ginormous Diamond just sitting behind her, lonely, glittering, and ignored. Maybe I could grab it while Queen and Dick are busy posturing and spouting strange threats at each other.
rich
April 13th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
368: Vince Vance? Oh — I read that as Vivian Vance.
Paul Curtin
April 13th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Plugger jewelry? C’mon, we know that’s nothing but some broken glass from a bottle of scotch, toenails, and a ring with someone’s finger still in it…
greetings
Kronkina
April 13th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/4/13&name=Momma
This has to be the saddest, most pathetic excuse for a “comic” EVER!! (That’s right – I’m breaking out my Finger Quotin’ Margoes for this one.)
Queen of West Procrastination
April 13th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
367 and 375: They were a nun and a priest who taught at/were affiliated with the Catholic high school where Edda and Amos went. There was always this Uresolved Sexual Tension thing going on with them.
And then, when the storyline suddenly started moving forward (Edda and Amos fling and then don’t talk to each other and then both get early graduation and then both move to NYC/enter Seth as gay roommate/Edda’s Mom quits her university job and buys Thorax’s farm and marries her long-time boyfriend, marriage performed by Thorax) there was this whole thing where Thorax told everyone the world was ending, and so nun and priest threw off their ecclesiastical chains and fell in love.
Mountain Mama
April 13th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
#367, Anon—–Darrin has to find out and save Lisa’s life! Because she’s DYING, you know? She has CANCER!
So, there has to be last minute life saving operation, just so one or both of them can be tragically killed in the car accident, just after Lisa finds out she’s pregnant and it’s the happiest day of Les’ life.
And no, I’m not bitter about FW, why do you ask?
Mountain Mama
April 13th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
….and to continue the hate……There goes Mary again!
God, I hate her. She’s beginning of her patented mindfucks on Vera. “But I’m an old lady and all alone! I need company! Take pity on me so I find out your innermost secrets and suck you in to do my bidding! Muah hahahahahah…..!”
Did I mention I hate Mary Worth? Why do I read this stuff?
Smokin’ Grassroots
April 13th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I don’t see the big deal about brothers and sisters joking around about or talking frankly about their sex lives. I don’t think Brad & Luann’s conversation is creepy. I don’t think its funny either though.
Mountain Mama
April 13th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
….and hate apparently makes you leave out words. “See it before you say it.” I will use you now, faithfully.
cheech wizard
April 13th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Hasn’t it occured to anyone in Charterstone that a woman Vera’s age might not enjoy hanging out with old people?
bootsybooks
April 13th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
A3G: Streamers, balloons, a Happy Birthday sign, yep, that’s some swanky big city party plannin’ there, Margo!
Foob: Ok, did I miss this at puberty? You turn 16 and you get big lips? April, it’s a very small window of opportunity before you lose the lips and gain the hips (and bun. and big squishy nose. and thick glasses with no eyes behind them.)
Uncle Lumpy
April 13th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
#388 Mt. Ma -
Yeah, I really had my heart set on Stumpy and Comic John gettin’ it on, then wracked with guilt etc. etc.
Batiuk has a gift for keeping multiple plotlines going at a reasonable pace (and the guy can draw). But the smirkface punchlines and Cancer 360â„¢ sobfests really put me off this strip.
Tacy
April 13th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
#393 -
I thought big lips was Lynn’s way of indicating that the character was wearing lipstick, but I checked previous strips and Deanna has them even she’s escaping the burning house.
man behind the curtain
April 13th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
MW — What is it with this “work” that Vera has to do. Rumor has it that she’s operating a porn site with a webcam installed in her apartment. or she was operating such a site with Von and has escaped . Von is her pimp. What she doesn’t know is that Chinbeard will recognize her as the dominatrizx he’s been communicating with over the web but of course by revealing her identity, he will out himself.
Also, I apologize for even thinking this and I hate to write it but #332,“Wormy Hart†–isn’t that Johnny hart’s new nickname.
Overlarge Talking LoFo Beaver
April 13th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
#396, Man Behind the Curtain, I’m glad you said it.
rich
April 13th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
New post is up! Everyone out of the pool!
rich
April 13th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
395: If big lips = Lynn’s shorthand for lipstick, then what’s that horrifying brat Meredith’s excuse?
Anonymous
April 13th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Why? Did Dorthy Dandridge put a distinctly un-nappy and un-ho-like toe in it?
Non-Shannon
April 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I truly feel for the loneliest Patterson. I am the April of my family–12 years younger than the next oldest sibling–and always getting pegged as irresponsible, unreliable, etc. But I have the advantage in my clan. I am bigger than all of them. I am not afraid of them and I will beat their asses.
April should start working out.
Harold
April 13th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
#393 bootsybooks: streamers, balloons, a Happy Birthday sign, yes. But it’s all been done in an ironic manner as part of a retro theme. Margo is so sophisticated that her cleverness is lost on mere mortals like us.
AAckTPPth
April 13th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
311 – Wouldn’t that be THOUNNK?
(Born in Hamilton, living in Calgary, BTW)
edgeways
April 13th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Dysfunctional Circus
blase
April 13th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
#284: OK, didn’t initially see Batiuk’s website blurb regarding Jessica and Darrin finding out about “each other” (instead of just finding out more about Darrin.) — implying Jessica might have some secrets, too (Stay tuned tomorrow?). …And the “not yet” reluctance of Darrin could be a foreshadowing… so in other words, you might be onto something. Will Jessica reveal that she, too, was adopted?
‘Course that would be par for the course in the Funkyverse — one of the few characters whom appears to have actually “gotten lucky” finds out it’s all for naught when it’s discovered that she’s his half-sister. …Either that, or suspicions are sufficiently raised so that each needs to know who the bio parents are, and that’s how Darrin finds out about Lisa.
And of course the Walnut Tech guy will probably be tracked down — whom last we saw was in a rather deplorable state. The story arc will then turn to focus on his sad and pathetic circumstances, which would be par for the course. (And the moral of the story is: don’t be a male slut, kids!)
Harold
April 13th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
#368 bootsybooks, I hate to say this, but…I don’t get it. You do realize that Mary Worth really IS Apple Mary from the Great Depression? Yes, that meddling biddy has been going strong for a long, LONG time. Or were your tears tears of joy that you and your mom have a Mary Worth connection on a fundamental level?
#381 O’Fogeyette, I believe the protocol for ending a thread should be to post a comment that just says “LAST!”