The Comics Curmudgeon

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Some Thursday quickies

Beetle Bailey, 5/3/07

Sarge’s attempts to avoid attachments with women while remaining ambiguous about his own preferences are becoming increasingly heart-rending. Even his faithful dog is trying to get him paired off into safe, Army regulation-approved heteronormality.

Archie, 5/3/07

You’re close, Archie-Laugh-Generating-Joke-Unit 3000, but the punchline is only funny if Archie is actually doing something positive for Mr. Lodge, albeit accidentally. Otherwise it’s just a baffling nonsequitur, or an implication that Archie is a Christ-like figure with mystical healing powers, neither of which are ideal.

Family Circus, 5/3/07

Oh, they start them young with the arbitrary gender markers in the Keane household, yes sir.

Blondie, 5/3/07

Speaking of gender arbitrariness, I’m sure Blondie is just thrilled that Dagwood’s chronic narcolepsy suddenly means that she has to cook breakfast for three. I imagine she’s just getting that pan nice and searing hot before she starts braining people with it.

For Better Or For Worse, 5/3/07

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Wait, that’s not really fair. It’s hard to work yourself up to ask someone out, and … no, hold on, I was right the first time. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Also, Mark Trail has consisted of a lot of nattering about birds and airports and crap like that for the last few days, but I thought you’d be interested in a certain similarity of body language between today’s final panel and a strip from last week:

Damn, everybody wants a piece of this handsome outdoorsman!

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 08:52 am and is filed under Archie, Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Family Circus, For Better or for Worse, Mark Trail.

148 responses to “Some Thursday quickies”

American Idle
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Quit toying with our emotions, Lynn!! I’m feeling queasy and adrift… (First?)
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Well, it could be that Archie has been giving Mr Lodge full-body massages. Yeah, chew on that one for a while, I dare you.
Katherine
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

I just figured out that was Mark in the office. I didn’t recognize him in that nice suit!
stinky pete
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Archie – I suspect his back pain isn’t as noticeble because the pain in his ass is so great when Archie is around. I think you missed a pretty decent one there, Josh. Score one for the Archie-Laugh-Generating-Joke-Unit 3000.
Katherine
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:01 am [Reply]

re: archie — I think the idea is that Archie’s a pain in the old man’s ass….so he doesn’t feel his lower back…because…oh, never mind.
also, what is that wierd wiggly line on Veronica’s shirt? I thought it was supposed to denote raglan sleeves, but in the last panel it just looks like a loose bit of thread. Either way, it’s a good distraction from the non-existant punch line.
Katherine
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

crap, stinky pete beat me! curses on you, stinky pete!
Sister Sestina
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Actually, it’s Otto’s preferences I’m left wondering about…he looks unusually, suspiciously eager to be in-laws (in-paws?) with Louise’s cat. Is he on the down-meow?
Maughta
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Oh sweet, sweeeeeeet bliss. I can’t believe I’m so happy to see heartbreak in a comic strip character. Too bad it’s not Michael Patterson, then my life would be complete (what a sad life, no?).
Meanwhile
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Um, how could any father not want his daughter to date Archie? Isn’t the whole point of Archie that he’s the all-American boy everybody loves? Oh, wait, this is the bizarro Archi-verse, where all adults hate all teenagers on completely arbitrary prejudicial grounds. Oh, wait, that’s our universe. Oh, wait … [head explodes]
Old Bean
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Okay, this thread’s probably more suitable:

FOOB: What we’re all thinking.

(Again, apologies to Tatulli.)
Weasel Boy
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Everybody in FC looks bored. Even the sheep.
Chris
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Hmmm…maybe Otto thought Sarge meant that Louise wants Sarge and Otto to get married, hence with the vigorous approval.

Doggy-style!
jules
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Items on the Foob Diner Menu:

> Hail Casserole
> Hob Nob Gob?
> Chunky Chicken Something.

And I think the last thing on the menu is, simply, “Grease.”
TurtleBoy
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

FC: “I’m colorin’ this sheep a leprous green because it lives in the shadow of Chernobyl!”
Erin
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

FOOB: This is actually the worst possible plot development if you are hoping for a non-Anthony future. A romance needs to have a problem to overcome. DisposaDate is the Blanche Ingram in this scenario, with Liz as a considerably less feisty Jane Eyre and Granthony as Rochester (minus balls, a spine, and anything else that makes him interesting).

Hey, that also explains why we haven’t seen ThÃ©rÃ¨se in a while – she went crazy and is locked in the attic. On the plus side, she’ll eventually fly into a homicidal rage and burn down the house.
Maughta
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

FC: The sheep can only be white or black (or maybe a muddy brownish color), goddamnit! That’s all that’s allowed for in God’s plan!!!! Heathens.
Tweeks_Coffee
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

A3G: Thus end the tale of LuAnn. Now they’re going to have to find another roommate.

DT: Yes, we get it! The freaking doorknob is the diamond! Can we move along now!?

FW: Ha ha! I had cancer so I can make depressing jokes and be a general ass to everyone.

GF: Heh, even Satchel doesn’t get the jokes.

MW: “There once was a man from Nantucket…”

Pluggers: Listen, you can get maps for a buck or two. Even Pluggers could afford that. Hell, you can even get them for free at Welcome Centers!

PC: I laughed, not at the main joke, mind you, but at the idea of the guy mowing the lawn in his speedos. Plus the idea of Winslow owning a house is quite laughable in itself.
Suburban Legend
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

FBOFW: “I’d like to crawl into a hole where I can DIE”

Alright now Lynn Johnston is just getting lazy. Wasn’t that punchline of like the last 200 Funky Winkerbeans?
Dennis Jimenez
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Mark Trail Mix – a mouth full of nutty goodness, packed with that lost forest punch.
jeff
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

You can’t blame the folks in Dagwood’s carpool for thinking they can just walk in and make themselves at home since Blondie’s always letting the mailman in when Dagwood leaves. (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more)

Note to Liz Peterson: I know the laws of reality don’t apply in your crazy FOOB-ed up world, but when your crazy, creepy, grey-before-his-time, family-neglecting stalker finds someone else to obsess over, that’s actually a good thing.
Kyle
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

I’m new to the blog, and devoured the archive in four days. Didn’t read all the comments, but here’s an issue I never saw you mention. Hasn’t something weird happened to Luann’s face since she’s grown up? The FBOFW characters used to all have kind of normal cartoon faces, but now her eyes have no lower lids and seem to inhabit a flat plane, from which the little Nike dash that signifies her nose is recoiling, as though it doesn’t want to be associated with the zombie-like affect above it. Is this a Picasso reference, do you think? A high-culture bone thrown to the artsy types among us?
bats
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Old Bean — inspirational!

I’m wondering how much more collagen Liz can pump into those lips of hers by the day of the wedding to make Anthony see the error of his ways…moving on? Feh! This is the Foobiverse, Anthony, and you’re just a minion of it all!
Bwahahahahahaha!
TurtleBoy
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

FC revisited: There’s a great agnus dei joke lurking here somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it…
SecretMargo
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

I don’t know, even with the “pain in the ass” prodding, I find Archie too oblique. Does he call him a “pain” often or something?

But it’s Beatle Bailey that really baffles me. Due to this site, when I read it, I basically did the gay joke math that Josh drew out, but then I thought — wait, is there any other “joke” to be gotten?

Is there?
smacky
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Fingers crossed Vera’s story to Mary Worth will totally kick ass. I’m imagining extortion, theft of inheritance, incest, and date rape… and that’s just what happened the last time she allowed Von into her old apartment in the “Millionaire’s Stomping Ground!”
TurtleBoy
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

#22 bats: It’d be nice to see Liz’s lips puff up like a dapper Edwardian figure in a Terry Gilliam cartoon, messily exploding all over the wedding party at Shawna-Lula-Mae-Betty-Jo-Darla-Jean-Marie’s shindig.
CrabbyGenes
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

I agree with Erin #15. Johnston is using the oldest trick in the book, and it is just so BORING, BORING, HOPELESS AND BORING. Of course Elizabeth will now come to see that Anthony is the one she wanted all along, and why didn’t she realize it before? And this little plot development ought to make things interesting (thinks JOHNSTON, not me!) until Liz and Anthony do finally get together.

HAM-FISTED HAM-FISTED HAM-FISTED HAM-FISTED
HAM-FISTED HAM-FISTED HAM-FISTED……..
Gal Friday
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

FOOB: He who laughs first will cry last: I predict that Anthony and Liz will lock lips at this wedding before all is done. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Josh
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

#24 SecretMargo — I think the joke is supposed to be that Sarge isn’t attracted to Louise Lugg, since she’s portly; plus women romantically pursuing men who try to play hard to get is an always hilarious gender-role reversal (see for instance the end of every Pepe Le Pew cartoon ever made). However, since she’s the only female who the strip has ever contemplated pairing up with Sarge, it sure brings the gay vibe pretty hard.

(Note to self: Never say “brings the gay vibe pretty hard” again.)

Josh
Trotzenbonnie
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Dolly declaring pink is for girls.
Apron-clad Blondie is chained to the stove.
Liz with no date comtemplates death as the preferable fate.
Kate Millett isn’t dead yet, people! Are you trying to kill her????? And me????
Uncle Peter, my smelling salts!
mockable
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

FBoFW: Does anyone else think it is creepy that the only date Anthony can get is his brand new underling? (Underling, tee hee, ew.)
Holy Prepuce
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

The whole Liz & Anthony plotline reminds me of those suicide movies on Lifetime: we all know where it’s going, but the characters still have to touch all the bases. Shawna-Marie’s wedding is roughly equivalent to the scene where the suicide-to-be gives away his letter jacket and CD collection.
Chupper
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

#15 Erin and #27 CrabbyGenes – Of course Liz and the ‘Stache are gonna wind up together. But today’s strip displays at least momentary pain for her, so it’s a silver lining we should focus on and rejoice.

And who knows, maybe she really will crawl into a hole and die! I hear there’s a ravine prone to flooding around there…
mere cog in the machine
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Ok, let me get this straight; Elizabeth wants to “crawl into a hole and die” because she’s just been turned down for a wedding date with a spineless cuckold that looks like a cross between Woody Allen and Mr. Hooper? Oh man – her self esteem is so low that you just need to get NEXT to her to bang her. I think even Howard Erk could at least get a couple of fingers in there at this point!
Lynngineering
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Michael’s coma has yet another mission accomplished against sister “I’d like a hole to crawl into where I can die” Liz.
It’s a repeat, back to “Liz in bed, clutching her stuffed bunny, regressing….” Only now, he’s placed her in that condition as a way of life, which it will be in his fantasy.
teegee
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

FC: All sheeps are girls. Right? Right? Oh god I might be bisexual …
Pozzo
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

To be fair (which I realize isn’t required), I think the ALGJU 3000 was trying to get across the point that Archie causes Mr. Lodge so much grief that his lower-back pain pales (nay, disappears) in comparison.

Meanwhile, Otto’s expression in panel one seems to say, “Go for it! Anything that will keep you from boning me while moaning Beetle’s name.”
Rockwell
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

“We just hired a very nice girl, Elizabeth.”

worst….dialogue…ever….
finrod
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

Is Kordak actually Doc Oct? I seem to remember him saying something about going to LA, and the way his coat is coming of in today’s strip looks like he has a bunch of arms back there.
martin
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Go, Granthony- dipping your pen in the company’s ink is always a great idea!

I think “A nice girl” and “We get along well” is code for, “She is receptive to my unwanted, inappropriate sexual advances at work. Oh, and I told her she’d lose her job if she didn’t come with me.”
Mumbles
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Granthony is Kip Dynamite. His date will be “LaFawnda” whom he met online chatting with babes. This “met at work” is all a cover story.
Yitzchok
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Anthony’s sudden wordiness is getting a little too F. Scott Fitzgerald for me.

“I have hired a very nice girl to work for me and well I have invited her to the wedding but fix me another raspberry gin fizz you incorrigible harlot I love you.”
Hysterical Woman
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Unless he’s actually dating his employee (a big no-no) I think he can take Liz instead of the poor girl. After all, Liz deserves him.
mere cog in the machine
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Apropos of nothing, I wonder if it would be acceptable to start using “Johnny Hart” as my new screenname? Is it still too early?
Kevin
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Is that how they do coffee in Canada? They don’t come around with a pot and offer to refill your cup, but instead they snatch away your cup and ask you if you want “another coffee”? Remind me never to go to a diner in Canada.
wazzu62
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

FOOB: It seems like Granthony and Liz have teleported from his office to a diner while in mid conversation.

Could the “nice girl” be a ruse on Granthony’s part? Is he playing hard to get so as not to appear desperate? (as if that would help) Tomorrows strip will show him begging the waitress with the coffee pot to be his date for the wedding.
Perky Bird
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

FC-What a lame coloring book, to just have a giant picture of a sheep. What fun is that, since most sheep are white, most coloring books are printed on white paper, and white crayons don’t really show up on white paper? I mean, at leat put some flowers in the grass to color, or give the sheep a big bow or hat or something.

Archie–Dad’s lower back pain isn’t so noticeable because he and Archie sneak off inot a bedromm and give each other sensual back massages.
Yitzchok
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:32 am [Reply]

45 Kevin – I wondered about that myself. To me, it looks more like a Starbucks-type operation (or in Canada maybe a Tim Horton’s), but even then it would be odd for an employee to come up and ask you if you wanted another $6.25 iced cappucino (or as Tim Horton pronounces it, an “iced cip”).
SecretMargo
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

29: Thanks Josh! Although, I’m still thrown off by Otto’s affect: obviously jubilantly supportive, then crestfallen when Sarge ignores/misinterprets his “GROWF,” which pulls focus and makes it seem that this disjunction is where the “humour” lies. Also, Sarge seems unhappy at the end, too, so … why does he act the way he does? Aaaanyway, at least we don’t see Beetle’s body in bits and pieces today. That was a little shocking, I must admit.

45: YES! I totally agree. The set up could just as easily have been “Do want a refill?” and the joke would have worked, and what there is left of the verisimilitude would have remained unruffled. Diners in Canadia refill your coffee just like those of the U!S!A!, rest assured.

Okay, the comics are not assignments. I need to stop “correcting” them and do real work.
OverCat
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

“Milford handles Tilden. Next stop – The Bucket!”

I can’t think of anything to top the simplicity of this line, actually. Anyone? Anyone?
fuzzmaster
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

FBoFW: No, I don’t think Anthony’s escort will be ugly or bland, as some commenters have suggested. In the fine tradition of rachelrossing, she’ll be good-looking, even sexy (although, given what Lynn’s idea of a sophisticated look is for April, that may not be obvious to the casual observer).

Given the few months left to resolve plot lines in this version of Foob, it is possible that Anthony will realize his true fate at the wedding. But if that happens, surely it will be in the context of seeing Liz with another man. In whom she’ll have no real interest, but Anthony won’t know that, and … hijinks will, no doubt, ensue. And I have a sneaking suspicion that in the end it will take the direct involvement of St. Elly to bring these two crazy kids together.
magic8ball
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

See, at the end of yesterday’s FBorFW, they were in Anthony’s office, and I guess I didn’t notice the change of scenery in today’s strip, because when the woman in panel four showed up with the coffee, I thought she was the disposadate. And then I thought, wow, Anthony managed to find a date with bigger hips than Liz.
Pozzo
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Following up on Wazzu62’s concept — since the “I have a date” ruse failed to get Lizardbreath to beg, he’ll now actually have to come up with a date. The waitress won’t work, since Liz has seen her. Instead, he’ll ask Lawrence to get in drag to pose as his date.

“You know — that’s just crazy enough to work!!!!” (If “You have a lovely office!!” deserves two exclamation points, that one requires at least four.)
Squawk
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

BB: I don’t blame Sarge. Who wants to marry a woman with a drooping unibosom?
exelizabeth
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

I know Anthony is known as “Granthony.” But I didn’t think he would take it so literally, as seen in panel two. Can he get any older looking?
Josh
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

#50 OverCat-

How about the totally plausible “tops Tilden. Next stop – The Bucket!”

Josh
Josh
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

#49 SecretMargo-

Yeah, sorry, I think the specific joke in this strip is that Sarge is using Otto’s inability to speak English as a way to avoid marrying a girl, despite Otto’s obvious enthusiasm for the straight lifestyle. I was more going in for the long-running and ostensibly not crypto-homo humorous dynamic underlying Sarge and Lugg’s relationship.

(And for joke read “joke.” And for humorous read “humorous”.)

Josh
SecretMargo
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Okay, I lied: one more thing. How icky is Anthony’s “After the trial we both got real busy …” line? It reads kind of like he’s semi-blaming her for failing to fall directly into his arms in a swoon over his ability to show up for court as he was subpoenaed to and reward him for his relative worth when compared to the guy who tried to rape her. Which Johnston really wanted us to see as a rom-com style fateful reunion. Ugggh, his body langauge in these panels is so “Well, I tried, but you’ve basically driven me into the arms of this low-level employee I’ve ‘mentoring’ sweatily ever since she had the misfortune to be hired. Why couldn’t you have learned the lesson you were meant to when you were almost raped? You don’t need a man, you need another father. Are you sorry enough to win back my limp approval?”
OverCat
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

#56 Josh – hey, yeah, and that very line was unintentially hinted at in my own non-line!

I had been going more in the direction of it then being Tilden’s turn to handle Milford – after The Bucket and a brief nap, of course.

Okay, I think this comment has “bottomed” out…
Paperback Rifler
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

13. Oh; so grease is the word!

45. “Is that how they do coffee in Canada? They donâ€™t come around with a pot and offer to refill your cup, but instead they snatch away your cup and ask you if you want ‘another coffee’?”
If that is the actual practice, then it does seem a little bit . . . well, irritating. The way I see it, if the waitstaff wants to clear away dishes from the table while I’m still sitting there, I’m okay with that; but if anyone tries to take away my coffee cup while I’m still sitting there, then that person is in danger of walking away from the table with fewer fingers than previously. Or at least with a smaller tip than otherwise. Yeah, forcible finger removal is pretty much frowned upon most anywhere you go nowadays.

And geez, Liz; don’t turn down the coffee! There’s no rule that says you can’t crawl into a hole and die AND enjoy a nice cup of java at the same time! Live a little, why don’t ya?

Anyway, I’m kind of hoping that LJ goes the way of the hokiest and most completely unrealistic clichÃ© and makes the nice girl from accounting an almost exact Doppelganger for Elizabeth. Would that be creepy and unrealistic? Yes. Would it break up the monotony? Well, maybe; but with this particular strip, we could probably safely say, “no.” Man, I need some coffee.
Big Stu
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

#31 and #40-

I was thinking the same thing. There is already plenty to dislike about the Pornstache; now we can add that he is an office sexual harrasser.

So, the only chicks he goes after are former high school girlfriends, shrill careerists who abandon their children and employees who report to him.

Gordo made a big mistake making the pathetic lecher Granthony the manager of the used car lot. I look forward to a future strip showing a drunken, dissolute Gordo telling Mike about how he lost everything in a sexual harrassment claim because the ‘Stache’s ogling of the hired help. Nice going, Granthony.
WonderCat
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

45 and 60 — Coffee in Canada — I’m thinking that they may actually be in the highly sucessful restaurant that was spawned from the highly sucessful car lot. In which case, Anthony is, in fact, the waitress’ MANAGER! And since he’s pretty open about how he “rewards” the “nice girls” that work “under” him, she’s probably just trying to score some points with the ’stache. “You don’t want to be drinking from that dirty old cup! Let me get you a nice fresh one!” (Winks and sashays off with Elly-hips swaying.)

You know, that or she happened to notice that the thought of Granthony in the arms of some vapid little number-cruncher caused Liz to have the same reaction that many of us have experienced over the course of this strip with throwing up a little bit in the mouth…
Dono
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Big kudos to #30 for the incredibly cool screen name, and big general kudos to Josh, too–I stumbled upon this blog last week and it’s become one of my favorites.
juggernaut
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

so, is clambake saying he’s FOR segregation? damn, that’s bold….
Mibbitmaker
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Archie: Why is Smilin’ Archie Andrews approaching the Lodge mansion with fists clenched and raised in anticipitory pugilism? (And why am I suddenly writing like Mike St. Foob?) Methinks daddy Lodge is going to get pain from Arch a different way than the metaphoric “pain in the ass”! (It’s a beating-up joke I’m going for, people; getcher minds outta the gutter!)
Tracey
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Iâ€™m wondering how much more collagen Liz can pump into those lips of hers by the day of the wedding

Bats, does that mean we can look forward to Liz eventually looking like this Liz did?

http://cdn.news.aol.com/aolnews_photos/0c/03/20060918125209990004

I wonder will she wear a Versace dress, dance badly around a pole and trip Anthony’s date down a flight of stairs too?
Mibbitmaker
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

#64 (juggernaut): Well, apparently, you color an African-American comic character as Caucasian long enough and he eventually becomes a Jesse Helms.
Cedar
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

It goes against past characterization, and it’s still obvious that Liz and Anthony will end up together, but I love today’s FOOB: it’s the first time since April’s band lost the district-wide contest two years ago that a Patterson has been denied something, and the person doing the denying hasn’t been a monster.
Poteet
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Actually, my back NEVER hurt during the years when I melted brain cells reading ARCHIE comic books. But I never made the connection before. Thanks, Josh! I’m gonna go start a collection…

Foob — For Gawd’s sake, it now looks as if Angsthony and Ellie are having a nose-growing contest. As if the pornstache weren’t bad enough.
Andrea D and The Grandstanding Oddballs
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

I’m guessing that Granthony is going to have some sort of make-over before Liz hooks up with him. There’ll be longing and pining, but not even Johnston can possibly imagine looking Liz up with a 40 year-old man with elephantitis of the nose.
Steve S
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Sarge shouldn’t be worried–Sgt. Lugg isn’t a woman but an exact replica of Sarge, slightly more fit and wearing a wig. Look at her build: she’s like one of those barrel-bellied (male) weightlifters at the gym. If that’s not abnormal love between those two, I don’t know what is.
Steve S
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Re: For Better or For Worse, and stealing from the Simpsons:

(In a German accent):
“Okay, throw her in ze hole!”
Trotzenbonnie
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

I don’t think Clambake is waxing nostalgic for the days of Jim Crow and Bull Conner…
The Negro Leagues were a tremendous source of pride and income for black Americans during a time when their opportunites for success were severely limited by prejudice and institutionalized segregation. When Major League Baseball siphoned off all of the most talented Negro League athletes, interest in the leftover mediocre players waned and it was considered a big loss of independence as well as wealth for the black community when the league folded. I suppose there was also a little bit of sting in the prospect of black players being “bought” by white team owners.
This has been your incredibly simplistic interpretive history moment for today. Now back to our regular snarking….
Forthillrox
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

I can’t understand why Sarge wouldn’t want to marry Louise. They’d make perfect beards for each other and free them from any suspicion by the military of how it really is.
td
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Shout-out from Retail
T. Chicana
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

I sort of thought that Granthony’s car dealership had coffee there. Some of them have Starbucks inside, but usually they don’t come with a truck-stop waitress. So–that’s right, they must’ve teleported mid-convo.

That’s the least of our problems. I think everyone’s overlooking another possibility for the date to the wedding–there could be a cat fight!

A smack-down where Liz bumps Granthony’s accounting dept. date into a center-piece with her hips!! Because, wasn’t there something where Therese (not gonna try for those accent marks) caused Liz to fall down some icy steps once at another wedding? Only this time, Granthony will get in the middle and end up in a full-body cast. Liz will nurse him back to health, and someone could shave off the ’stache. Nice and neat ending.
Uncle Lumpy
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#76 T.C. -

Kortney!
Stephanie
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure Archie’s proximity to Mr. Lodge means that he’s more and more agitated and is literally painful to be around.
cheech wizard
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

The plot thickens! Looks like Granthony has gone out and whacked a professional rival and potential challenger for Liz’s affections.

Y’all take a moment and pour out a 40 fo’ one o’ the baddest playas eva to push a pencil. Word.
Power of 1000 Lemons
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

I’m almost offended on Liz’s behalf that Anthony wasn’t willing to “wait for her” as a wedding date after he begged her to do so for him about eight seconds after she was almost raped. But then I realize I’m way more offended at the fact that Johnston is going to be forcing these two together no matter what and that “oh gosh, we’re going to be at the wedding with different people” actually is intended to constitute high romantic drama in the Foobiverse.
Ralph
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

My “offensive-comment-o-meter” was in the red zone just in that first panel of FBOFW. But oh, in the second panel:
Anthony refers to a woman co-worker as a “girl.”
What’s more, she’s a “very nice girl.”
And … then, wow, he actually is so offensive to put it all together in the context of a manager (presumably supervisor) asking a new employee for a date … to a wedding.
“Otherwise … sure.” Yup, Liz soon will be planning to wear “cream.”
Strangerâ€¦
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Wow. Get Fuzzy today is just like Darby read the curmudgeon yesterday where we suggested that the joke made no sense. Of course, strips are written well in advance, which means, either Conley has an “Internet Way Forward Machine”, or this blog is written well in advance as well.

I guess it could also mean he realized it was lame and thought he’d just go with it… What do you think?
Cedar
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that the car dealership also has a restaurant in it. I’m bored at work so I can try to find the strips that back this up.
Cedar
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/001755.php
http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/001756.php

The infamous cinnamon buns strip!

So, yeah, for whatever reason, Gordon’s car dealership has a restaurant attached to it.
Perky Bird
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

I bet Anthony will still take his employee to the wedding. Liz will either show up with Lawrence (who plays the “good gay friend” to whom women rush when they need to talk) or show up by herself, in all her noble glory. Then she will catch the bride’s bouquet. (Being a Quebeqouis-hillbilly wedding, this will consist of ragweed and roses made from cut-up beer cans.) Now, Anthony will catch the bride’s garter.

Then, as wedding tradition dictates, they will go to the center of the dancefloor, as all the guests watch. They will gaze at each other longingly, as Anthony slowly slides the garter up Liz’ pale, fish-belly white leg and settles it sunggly on her flabby-but-virginal thighs. And then, as Anthony’s hand lingers on her quivering Patterson thunderthigh, Liz will know he is The One for her.

*Erp* I can’t believe I just wrote that. I have to go vomit now…
Strangerâ€¦
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Now tell me. Doesn’t the last panel of today’s FOOB show how we all feel upon reading a FOOBian strip? Which is slightly different than I feel after reading FW, which is that I then want to go die of CANCER.
Mumbles
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

#66: “It’s Ver-SACE.”

#84: Thanks Cedar. I can’t believe I didn’t make a smart remark at the time about the prophetic “lotsafroth” sign but I’m sure someone else did. And who knew “rum” flavored coffee was an option?

So last April the restaurant was self-serve and now there’s a waitress? Chalk it up to the business savvy of Saint Gordo!
Darkefang
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

First time poster here. I just discovered this site and am really enjoying it.

Anyway, I thought I’d share some thoughts as a new reader of these comics.

A3G: Margo is the greatest character in the comics page. She’s rude, a bad friend and overreacts to everything. She would have been the perfect fifth person on Seinfeld.

FBOFW: Are any of the characters in this strip supposed to be likeable?

FW: Man, I used to read this strip when I was a kid, and it was funny. When did it turn into “Cancer Winkerbean’s Life-Altering Disease Journal”?

GT: How long has this strip been around? How has such a poorly-drawn realistic style comic managed to last so long?

I do enjoy reading about foreign cultures though. In China, parents wrap the feet of their daughters in an attempt to keep their feet dainty. In Milford, parents squeeze their sons’ head in a vice to give them an immaculate square head.

Pluggers: What the hell is a “plugger”? Are they making fun of the elderly? The poor? I feel like I should be offended when I read that strip, but I’m not sure why.

MT: Jack Elrod must pray every day that whoever draws Gil Thorpe doesn’t retire, since that hack is the only reason why Mark Trail isn’t the ugliest thing on the comics page. Elrod can’t even draw a main character like Cherry consistently from panel to panel, and their poor kid must be suffering from a severe case of Mr-Fantasticitis.

Also, is there going to be an upcoming Mark Trail plot where he enters a bloodsport fighting tournament against lumberjacks? I need to see some bearded freak awkwardly punched in the face at least once a week.

Mary Worth: I must have caught this strip at a bad time. All I’ve seen is a bunch of old people standing around the halls of their apartment complex gossiping. Surely a strip couldn’t have lasted 30-40 years with plots that revolve around people griping about their neighbors.

GT: Yeah, I’ve already covered this one, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with the people in this town? Is Milford located on Love Canal?

RMMD: Is it just me, or does it appear that the artist spends way more time drawing every curve of June’s body than they do the entire rest of the strip?
gh
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

#88 Darkefang

Quite precocious for a newcomer. You seem to have struck the same balance of lust and bewilderment that afflicts most of us here.
Mamzelle H.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

FBoFW: Who pays for the cofffee now? I vote for Liz contemptuously throwing down a five (Canadian) contemptuously, thus emasculating his pity-paying motives, then swanning out. Don’t look back!
Mamzelle H.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

…so contemptuously it’s doubly contemptuous!
Bapp
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

did I miss the strip when Dagwood and Blondie moved their kitchen into the MOMA?
Trotzenbonnie
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

#84 – Cedar
Are you a mind reader or what?
I was about to ask someone for the origin of the cinnabun/Anthony connection.

Thanks!
mere cog in the machine
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

#85: Virginal??? Don’t you realize that all those guys left only after they’d ploughed the field and found it cold, hard and barren? She may be no ball of fire in the sack, but – trust me – Lizardbreath has been rode hard and put away wet.
Rotts
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

#4 – Stinky Pete, you got it right. Archie pain > Lodge lower back pain. Pretty obvious to me, as an old Archie reader from the 50s/60s.
Airish
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Yeh, concerning Exelizabeth’s comment about the ancient and haggard Anthony, I was a little puzzled myself about the “we went to school together” bit. Given how “mature” Anthony looks and how relatively hot Liz is, the only way that would make sense is if Anthony had been an assistant principal or something while Liz was a sophomore.
missy
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Anthony will date girl from accounting for a while until he realizes she’s been stealing money from the company. Only then will he realize that all women are heartless bitches and will marry Liz to keep his cover while he goes around killing prostitutes.
Hogen Mogen
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

What is it with the men on BB? Sarge is so lame that after 20 years of dating, he gets a marriage proposal from Louise Lugg, and turns her down, citing some arbitrary counter opinion FROM HIS DOG. BB has the only hot babe in the strip, yet can’t stay awake long enough for a quickie. Killer Diller is obviously hetero, but in the Howard The Rapist kind of way. General Halfwit is the only normal one, but is so old and drunk that he couldn’t get it up with a truckload of Viagara. Everyone else seems to be harmlessly asexual.

Also on the girl-asks-guy-out-but-gets-shot-down front, I’d love it if Granthony wrapped up this week’s story arc with “I’m only going to boff the new girl a few times then fire and dump her. Liz, waaaiiit foor mmeeee!”
John
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

So after a trial about sexual harassment and attempted rape, we get this. Can we get an expert opinion on whether dating a subordinate counts as prima facie sexual harassment under Ontario law?
mere cog in the machine
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure prima facie is illegal in my state, but I’ll admit I’ve seen it in a couple of stag films.
DaveyK
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

After about a year (or so it seems) of ham-handed asides and whispered conversations meant to heighten tension and intrigue the reader with a mysterious past waiting to be discovered, one visit from Von and suddeny Vera’s going to just blab the entire back story to Mary?

In a perfect world, this would be good for the reader because, while this story will turn out to be boring, it will be quickly divulged. In Mary Worth, unfortunately, it will be boring and take weeks to divulge.
StrangeRover
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

FOOB:

“One hole to craw in an’ die. You want fries with that, hon?”
T. Chicana
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Cedar! Seeing that crazed look on Granthony as he mentions the cinnamon buns really brightened up my rotten no good day at work! And also, on the first archive you found, it’s important for us to note what a freak show John is, calling cars “she” in a dirty way. YUCKO!
Cedar
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

#106 You’re welcome. That cinnamon buns strip always reminds me of this girl I knew in MS who one day mentioned how she used to humor a friend’s crush on Elijah Wood when they were younger. And then for the next, like, five years, people were always making fun of her for having a crush on Elijah Wood. “Hey Emily, you going to see Lord of the Rings this weekend?” “You know Elijah Wood is gay, right?” Non stop! Point is, it doesn’t matter how she ever felt about Elijah Wood in the first place, or who’s idea it was to lust for him, or anything. But she was forever associated with Elijah Wood. Sorta like the ’stache and those cinnamon buns.
Itazurakko!
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

>>99

There can’t be any case unless the advances are unwanted and DisposaDate decides to file a claim. As long as the situation is mutually agreed to, there’s no harassment.

Of course, where things get tricky is when one party no longer wants to play along.

To prevent THOSE possible harassment issues, and inevitable personnel conflicts, not to mention favoritism issues that can happen when a boss dates a subordinate, many companies have policies stating that coworkers in the same management chain can’t date, but that’s not law, only policy.

Thing is, though, Granthony works for Gordon. This isn’t IBM. So given the small number of employees the place has, the fact that a large portion of the staff already knows each other from high school and whatnot, the fact that in particular Gordon knows Granthony, and finally the fact that Granthony works right under Gordon, with no further upper levels of management to piss off, he’s probably okay.

Not that it’s necessarily a GOOD idea, mind you (bands have certainly broken up over things like this) but as long as Gordon’s cool with it, and DisposaDate isn’t complaining, they’re all good to go.
Justafoob
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

How do you think Granthony got such a cushy job at such a young age? He worked hard under Gordon. Really hard. He was there for days.
Penny
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: â€œIâ€™d like to crawl into a hole where I can DIEâ€

Promise Liz?! PROMISE?!? I can’t take any more of your horrid prospective male choices. At this point, after the Pornstache rejection you might as well jump aboard Warren’s Horndog Air back to Mtiwaki and hook up with the 12 year old who stole your harmonica.
Potato
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth is going to orgasm it Vera keeps hitting her Schadenfreude Spot.
Itazurakko!
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

>>106

Well you know what they say, sometimes there are backdoor shortcuts to the promotion.
Rebochan
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Lockhorns: Loretta just looks so joyful to see Leroy in pain, I can’t help but imagine that we are looking at the last moments of Leroy’s life before he is smothered with a pillow. And I’m sure afterwards, Al Scaduto will give us another TDIET about hospitals. Oh yeah!
Les
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Future FOOB plot that I want to see:

Micheal gets frustrated by trying to write while his kids run around and screetch. Pissed off, he goes to a bar, has a beer, meets a babe, gets some action in the men’s room.

Girl turns out to be a drag queen friend of Micheal’s wife (what’s her name? She’s forgettable.) and blabs all at a party, not realizing that they’re married.

Micheal’s forgetable wife starts yelling at him in public. Borrows a cell to arrange to get the locks changes on the new house.

He ends up staying with his parents again. The wife divorces him and keeps the house. He descends into alchoholism and throws himself into the ravine. At this point, he can be saved by Weed or left to die, I don’t care which.
Original Lee
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

(THTI)FOOB: If the car dealership is a typical one (although it’s already abnormal because of the restaurant, but I digress), Accounting is separate from Sales. So Granthony’s date is not in his chain of command, hence no sexual harassment. I think it’s interesting, though, that it’s probably NOT someone Liz already knows, because Pornstache would definitely have spilled the name for that extra filip of despair if she did.
Ãže grene kni3t
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Maybe now that even Anthony’s rejected her, Liz will stop looking for someone to marry and start concentrating on her own life and career! . . . Yeah. Then maybe Cathy will become a CEO.
Don Iguan
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

It’s times like this observing the FOOBiverse that I wish Vince Russo was writing this strip. (bye-bye, quote of the week). Is Lynn that delirious to believe that at her old age, she now sees the good qualities of the nice guy and is dispensing her knowledge from up on high? Silly canucks, women never have and never will go for the nice guy! That’s why all your hot women come here to make it big.
Cedar
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

#112 You know, yesterday I was trying to figure out what single women exist in the Foobiverse, wondering if Anthony’s date would be someone the readers already know. Not counting April’s friends, all I could think of is Kourtney, the girl who was fired from Elly’s bookstore for stealing.
Crankenstank
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Reason Number 12 why FranÃ§oise cannot possibly be Anthony’s baby: his complete lack of testosterone. Listen, mustacheboy, if Liz really is the girl of your dreams, we all know you’ve been waiting for her to be free at the same time as you. Just because you’ve checked the other girl’s subtotals doesn’t mean you’re married. But no, you’re too estrogenic to possibly do something like break a date so you can be with the woman you’ve loved since junior high. My god, what would society say to such a cad? “Why’d you pull me over, officer?” or “Can I have a ride in your helicopter, big boy?” No, it would be “tax-deferred municipal bonds really do make for a safe medium-term fiduciary instrument, studs.”
commodorejohn
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

Baby Blues – Waitaminute, is this a comic strip, or a documentary? Because this is pretty much true of a lot of parents today. And it’s not really that comic; more depressing.

DTM – Holy crap, Dennis is the grandson of Wilford Brimley! Or is that what Sam the Snowman looks like in summer? Either way, the “an’” from FOOB is slowly filtering into other comics.

Dilbert – Please, Scott, stop inserting yourself into your strip! Once was funny – once was also enough.

FOOB – Everything that needs to be said has already been said, but I’d like to note that when a nameless extra in a comic strip (the waitress) is much more likeable than most of the primary cast, something’s wrong. Also, the menu: House Grs, Greek Go, Hail Cass, Hob Nob Co, Chunky Chi, H Dcr, Jaa, and Grie. Canadian cuisine is truly a mysterious thing if it contains clumps of Asian life-force.

FW – I know it’s been said already, but the “sort of…” couldn’t be more appropriate.

Hi & Lois – I was praying that the colorists would’ve just gone with run-of-the-mill white uniforms, but they actually caught the stated color in the dialogue.

RMMD – Rex, you magnificent bastard!

Edison Lee – On the rare occasions I bother to look at this strip, I am astounded by how boringly unfunny it is. It’s not even humorously bad like Marmaduke or Crock. It’s just stiflingly pointless. Also, who the hell thinks “hee hee” to themselves?
Vince M.
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

FBoFW: Reminded me of a favorite line given to a girl in the MST3K’ed ‘Village of the Giants’: “Rejected by Tommy Kirk – I guess I can’t sink any lower!”
(Which is probably an unfair comparison, as Kirk at least had that ahead-of-his-time geek-cool thing happening)
Joel
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

I found it difficult to maintain interest in FOOB today! Only 30% of the sentences ended in exclamation points, so I wasn’t sure that I should be that excited about most of it! I gained some interest toward the end when Liz thought out a huge black bold exclamation point, but even counting this as many times greater as its density was than the average exclamation point, it was a precipitous drop-off from the previous day’s 75% exclamation point placement ratio (!PR) (number of sentences with exclamation points/ number of sentences), and its 93.75% total exclamation point quotient (T!Q) (total exclamation points present in strip/number of sentences)!
Archie, however, with its !Q of 80%, however, totally has my attention!
Wow!
ohgrl
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Ever since he saw “Secretary,” Granthony’s been hoping for a “nice girl” to get hired so he can act out his sadomasochistic fantasies. I’m sure he’s already filled out her reception dinner card: “One scoop of creamed potatoes. One slice of butter. Four peas. And as many cinnamon buns as you can eat.”
AppleGirl
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

(THTI)FOOB – Um, Liz is on a date with Anthony right now. Granted, coffee isn’t much of a date, more like a hook-up. But why does Liz need him to take her to the Shana-Marie wedding to prove to herself that Ant is the one?

Couldn’t they just have a regular date tomorrow night instead? Like, they could meet for cocktails, go out to dinner, or go to a ballgame. Liz: it doesn’t have to be a wedding to be a date, girlfriend!
AppleGirl
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Of course, I’m not the best one to give dating advice. I’m still getting texts and emails from that middle-eastern-money-laundering-scheme-guy back in DC. He says that his sentencing date is May 23, but I think it’s just an excuse to not fly out to California for a date with me.
Lurker
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

#88, a hundred years ago Chinese girls’ feet were wrapped to make ‘em tiny, but it hasn’t happened since. Are you perhaps channeling the late Johnny Hart?
Darkefang
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

“#88, a hundred years ago Chinese girlsâ€™ feet were wrapped to make â€˜em tiny, but it hasnâ€™t happened since. Are you perhaps channeling the late Johnny Hart?”

If by “channeling the late Johnny Hart” you mean making a really tenuous comparison for the sake of a mediocre punchline then, yes, yes I am.
middle-eastern-money-laundering-scheme-guy
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

#122 AppleGirl,
I’ve been banned from flying in the US. Probably due to that in-flight incident when I went berserk after reading “The Best of FBOFW.” And, no, it wasn’t a blank book.

Call me.
commodorejohn
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

JP – Looks of Clark Kent, fashion sense of James Bond, glasses of John Lennon, preferences of R. Kelly – is there any reason not to love Cedric the Super-Butler?
Tracey
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

#87

Thanks for the catch. I forgot that one important detail.
True Fable
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

#126 commodorejohn – Cedric the Butler needs his own spin-off strip. Ditch the young wife and freely roam around Europe, making great hors d’oerves, pampering old ladies and bullying punks with his Luger, and most of all, saving all the hot chicks for himself!

Why not? We haven’t actually seen the Judge in Judge Parker ever since he showed up for a couple of days last summer to grant his blessing for Randy to run for office.

Cedric the Badass Butler would be excellent.
commodorejohn
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

True Fable – Hell yes.
Islamorada Girl
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Cedric, the Headless Thompson Butler.

What the hell, no one’s going to read this anyway.
Mad Dog Rackham
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

FBoFW: I’m…sure…Anthony…can…find…someone…to…replace…his…imaginary…wedding…date.
Buck Ripsnort
May 3rd, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

#114– DonIguan, Vince Russo writing FOOB would be so utterly beautiful– of course, at this point anyone other than Johnston would be a relief. But imagine the extra fillip of seeing Michael getting hit by a chair! Apewil giving Lizardbreath the Pedigree in a steel cage! Michael getting hit by a chair! I know I said it twice, I just like hearing it.
And like IG said, nobody’s reading down here anyways.
Vince M.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

130,132: Somehow I’m always posting at the end of a thread – might as well be saying “NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisit-, oh bugger!”
Dub Not Dubya
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

88 Darkefang, welcome to the site. You’ll definitely fit in well here. One thing, though:

Mary Worth: I must have caught this strip at a bad time. All Iâ€™ve seen is a bunch of old people standing around the halls of their apartment complex gossiping. Surely a strip couldnâ€™t have lasted 30-40 years with plots that revolve around people griping about their neighbors.

Do yourself a favor and check out the best. Mary. Worth. storyline. ever., which happened last year and which someone kindly put all together on one page:

http://www.zubbie.com/stuff/mw/
Eric The Grate
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Blondie actually provides an interesting look into The Mustache’s future. In case you hadn’t noticed, he’s slowly been morphing into a pathetic, passive-aggressive version of Mr. Dithers. It’s only a matter of time before Anthony starts taking out his bitterness over being Liz-less out on his incompetent, giant-sandwich-loving subordinates.
Joe Bftsplk
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – I hear that the uncut version has a sixth panel, with a dozen or so hands helpfully thrusting shovels into the frame.

Beetle – My knowledge of military life is woefully limited, so I may be displaying my ignorance with this question, but, is that some kind of regulation footware on Sgt. Lugg there? And why does Otto get a full uniform to wear, while the poor cat has to go around naked? And would that explain why the cat is in such a foul mood?

#88 – RMMD: Is it just me, or does it appear that the artist spends way more time drawing every curve of Juneâ€™s body than they do the entire rest of the strip?

Are you saying that that’s a bad thing?
King Folderol
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

FC – In actuality, Dolly is coloring the sheep pink because she believes that this will make the sheep’s wool taste like cotton candy. It sounds pretty stupid, but the fundamentalist Keanes have also been teaching her that the Earth is 10,000 years old, that dinosaur fossils aren’t real, and that astronomy is the devil’s handiwork. So a cotton-candy sheep makes sense, see?
King Folderol
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – They say laugh out loud and the world laughs along with you, but my cheery chortle remains firmly tucked away in the depths of my chest cavity, for I am now talking like a stilted FBOFW character. No, that’s not what I meant to say. What I meant was, damnit we all know that Anthony and Liz are somehow going to get together, because that’s what normal people do, they get together with their sweethearts from when they were kids and don’t progress in life. Otherwise you’re just a loser, like Anthony, who will somehow be a winner if he hooks up with Liz. Man, this is all giving me a headache. I’ve never wanted to see a group of people die so badly before in my life, fictional or no.
commodorejohn
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

Oh my god, I found Anthony.

Dumb hairstyle and stupid mustache? Check.

Face like Chuck Norris’s inbred cousin? Check.

Supremely boring and simultaneously laughable outfit? Check.

Gayness sparkles as he thinks of John’s trains going through tunnels and bun frosting? Check.

Dreamy, vacant expression as he thinks of rape trials and St. Elizabeth? Check, check, check.

He’s missing his glasses and calling himself “Chuck,” but I dare you to tell me that’s not him.
Jym
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

=77= Foob: (Uncle Lumpy): Kortney? Hell yeah!
Mumblix Grumph
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

Ah, body language.
When ever i meet a female, they either fold their arms or instantly curl up in a fetal position.
Are they trying to tell me something?
Father Ned
May 4th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

JP: Hell, I’m straight and even I’d sleep with Cedric. No wonder he’s sleeping with so many young woman (Neddy you just wait). Hold on, I don’t think that came out they way I meant it too.
reader-who-posts
May 4th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Did Moustache get promoted? If he did then isn’t he dating his direct report? I smell a sexual harassment lawsuit!

A3G: Half-dead, LuAnn finally looks attractive. Or maybe it’s just the joy of imagining she’s going to die instead of being saved by the anonymous guy wandering around NY.

Blondie: The table only has three chairs, sitcom-style. Which kid isn’t allowed to have breakfast at the table?

Crock: Christ, we get it! Fat chicks like chocolate!

DT: Dick Tracy needs to be much nicer to Charles Nelson Reilly – he is so scrumtalescent!

Phantom: After centuries of Phantoms wearing a scuba diving suit in the jungle, it’s finally going to pay off!

Spider-Man: All crime bosses just want to be remembered. I understand the only reason they were ever able to kill Dillinger is that he stopped when the policeman said he was just some guy and yelled “Tell me you remember me, I’m John Freaking Dillinger!”
AppleGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

125 – middle-eastern-money-laundering-scheme-guy: still in rare excellent form, I see. Thanks for the best laugh I had all day… The Best Of FOOB. Now that’s a crazy concept, eh?
Old Bean
May 4th, 2007 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Foobish afterthought:

Isn’t “find a hole to crawl into and die” also Anthony’s favoured m.o. in the boudoir? Those two kids are made for each other.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

#134 – Not Dubya – Wow. All on one page. I especially like the chapter titles every week.
Kyle
May 4th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

Oops – in #21 I meant Liz, not LuAnn.
Kyle
May 4th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

Oops – in #21 I meant Liz, not LuAnn.

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