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The suffering of children delights me

Family Circus, 8/21/11

OBVIOUSLY there’s no child’s suffering that delights me so much as a Keane Kid’s suffering, and so I’m overjoyed to see Billy’s comically overwrought expression of crushing despair as his mother drapes that suit jacket over his shoulders. It’s as if he’s won the Masters, only instead of a green jacket he’s getting a blue jacket, and instead of winning the Masters he’s going to be executed wearing a blue jacket.

Dennis the Menace, 8/21/11

Kudos to Dennis and/or the current hired hands churning out “Hank Ketchum’s Dennis the Menace” for avoiding the obvious wordplay response to “Margaret’s goin’ places” (“Goin’ too many places, if you ask me!”) and instead heading into much creepier territory. Dennis suddenly steps into the shoes of his greatest enemy; now that he realizes that Mr. Wilson is a human being with feelings like himself, his life will never be the same. This sudden act of empathy comes with a physical manifestation: Dennis is emitting a Mr. Wilson-style single bead of sweat in the final panel, indicating a simmering, child-hating rage, though the fact that it appears to be flowing down the outside of his hair is a little confusing.

Mary Worth, 8/21/11

“I knew I had to see Bobby before I left! In my mind, I could already imagine him after our family vanished into the witness protection program, his arms raised as he begged the mob thugs hot on our trail for his life.”

Gasoline Alley, 8/21/11

Slim’s suffering still counts for this post because he’s an idiot man-child, which is a type of child, right? Anyway, I’m not sure this comic has a punchline beyond “Slim is a simpleton,” but then, it probably doesn’t really need one.

170 responses to “The suffering of children delights me”

  1. tb4000
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Between the shoe paper bit and the washing machine cliffhanger from the other day, I just cannot sleep at night for fear of what new horrors await the people of Gasoline Alley.

  2. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Bobby, for no good reason, spontaneously does the Nestea Plunge.

  3. Digger
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy’s expression of dread comes from his knowledge that his mother is going to send him to school dressed like a fifty year old man, and this will cause him to receive ass kickings on a daily basis.

  4. Scott Bot
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Digger (#3): I thought Billy was a fifty year old man.

  5. bunivasal
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m really hoping that this kid was gunned down by the mob, because you just know that Mary’s going to want to reunite Weepy Waitress with him, and she won’t even let Death stop her.

    So which form of necromancy will she use to bind Skating’ Bobby to Gina? Will she challenge Death to a game of canasta? Voodoo? Or will she burn a path through the Underworld and drag Bobby’s screaming shade back into the world of light?

  6. yahtzee
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I know this Mary Worth storyline won’t end with Mary taking on the Mob on their own bloody terms, becoming what she has beheld, and finally icing everyone at the next pool party because they know too much, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

  7. Rimpy
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: And who is this un-before-seen kid with Dennis? Wouldn’t Joey be in a better position to comment on Dennis’s Mr. Wilson-ish behavior (if Joey weren’t retarded, that is)?

  8. Binder's Butter Beans
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    I thought the punchline of Gasoline Alley was “Slim is a shithead,” but it’s possible I’m being too harsh.

    Nah.

  9. Ed Dravecky
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    When I grow up, I want to be Ted Forth.

  10. Naomi
    August 21st, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @yahtzee (#6) & @bunivasal (#5): Knowing that Mary is a gorgon, and seeing Gina’s transformation into Athena Glaukopis in the final panel, I’m holding out hope for something even more interesting.

  11. A Woman of a Certain Age
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    FC: – Even “Back to School – 1960″ didn’t look like this. I’m just puzzled that they have Billy trying on a blazer as part of his back-to-school wardrobe. The “joke”, such as it is, would have worked just as well with a t-shirt or polo.

  12. Marmot Detective
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Hey, this is off topic, but I know there are some fans of Slylock Fox on this blog, who might be interested in this game about crime in Animal City.

  13. Esther Blodgett
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    MW: Bobby’s pose reminds me of the time Ozzie Smith disappeared into the Springfield Mystery Spot on The Simpsons. It was funny then, and it’s funny now.

  14. Trillian
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Blondie (yesterthread): When I took my mandatory 6 hours of behind-the-wheel driver’s ed when I was 16, I swear most of it was running errands for the idiot instructor. He used a very similar line to Dagwood’s on me to have me go to the drive-up window at the bank for him. I also spent a decent chunk of time chasing down a UPS truck to see if they had a package that the idiot was expecting. My poor father (who had to pay for the class, since they considered driver’s ed “community education” by that time) was so pissed, especially since he then had to spend hours and hours with me afterwards actually teaching me how to drive and parallel park.

  15. Soccerhead
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Ed Crankshaft and various “Pluggers” characters are looking at today’s GA, and thinking, “Ha! Is that Slim stupid!”

  16. bats :[
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    The apparent hangover of Billy Keane concerns me. Thel seems okay with it — it wasn’t *her* peach schnapps.

  17. Trillian
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    FC: I don’t even think the local Catholic school requires blazers. On the other hand, my daughter’s best friend just moved to Florida and got in-school suspension on the first day for wearing shorts to school (in Florida!) so perhaps things are just more casual here in the Great White North.

  18. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#9): That’s an oxymoron.

  19. Comcis Fan
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#4) and : @Digger (#3): Hey! It’s time to dispense with “fifty-year-old man/woman” as the shortcut for frumpy, poorly dressed has-been. Plenty of 50-year-olds are far hipper than any Keane, Duncan kid etc. And yeah, it’s a sensitive issue for some of us who just had big ole birthdays.

  20. Scott Bot
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#19): As someone who will be 48 next month, I tend to agree with you. I was commenting on the fact that this strip has been around so long that Billy is at least fifty by now.

  21. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    FC: “Your shoulders keep drooping.” How can she tell, since Billy has no neck?

  22. Calico
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Haha, time for Beetle’s mandatory Sunday butt-fuck!

    Crankshaft – how sweet, they’re wishing that Rose will die before they have to build a room for her downstairs!

  23. Mustang
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    D the M – I have always been under the impression that Dennis worshipped Mr. Wilson and that his causing the old guy’s life to be a living hell was inadvertent. You’re saying all these many years he’s been tormenting the old guy on purpose? Delightful!

  24. Calico
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @yahtzee (#6):
    As long as Ms. Worth doesn’t make any shoeshine jokes, she should be ok.

  25. kahvigirl
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    As someone who read way too many (more than one) of the old Fawcett Dennis the Menace comic books in her childhood, I’m guessing that the unknown kid in today’s Dennis comic is Tommy, a (relatively) brainy child interested in both sports and science.

  26. Anonymous
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Finally! I’ve been waiting for Mary Worth to meddle in mob hits and the witness protection program for years. Sharpen the nail on that index finger, baby!

  27. Rusty
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    GA: Even Williamsburg hipsters think electric blue boat shoes are a bit over-the-top.

  28. btown
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy is not being dressed for school. He is being dressed in his begging outfit; hence the gut, the wrinkled slacks, patches on the sleeve, and his hung-over/miserable expression. I hope that in tomorrow’s strip we will see him being fitted with his permanently crippling leg brace – or, better yet, peg-leg – and blinded.

  29. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    FC: “Mommy, why can’t we go to a store with real kids’ clothes, instead of these ugly old-man blue jackets? And don’t even get me started on those hideous aquamarine purses!!!”

  30. Francisco Arrowroot
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    I look forward to the big reveal in this Mary Worth storyline, where Gina admits her gift/curse of people she imagines stepping out of her thought balloons and into reality.

  31. forgot
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    family circus- the look on billys face really gave me a laugh.

  32. Stevesie
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    ‘You’re being threatened by the mob? There has never been a better time to raise the roof, amirite Gina?’

  33. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#26): Sooooo, her index finger nail is the one she uses to pop people’s sense of independent thought? I’d have expected her to just use the nail file itself.

  34. geekwhisperer
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Bobby: That schmoe who saw us hijack the shipment was YOUR dad, Gina? Doncha’ worry about a thing, I’m gonna take care of ‘dis. Take care of it REAL good.

  35. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#4): Damn, you got there first.

  36. btown
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: in the last panel, why is Kelly Osbourne thought-bubbling Bobby doing the YMCA dance?! This is what happens when a comic spends three weeks framing a plot which could be described in two sentences: artist, writer, everybody loses all sense of continuity!

  37. Droopy Says
    August 21st, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (y#158): I think all this emphasis on porch-swing conversations and monologues is a setup for when Cayla dies and Les and sit alone, mourning and talking at her on said swing.

    Thanks, now I remember where that image comes from. Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in “To Kill A Mockingbird.” Peck sits alone on his porch swing, seen only by the camera, and stretches out an arm as if to hold his unseen dead wife. Except Finch doesn’t chatter; you learn all you need to know about his marriage just by that one moment.

    Maybe Les on the swing will appear in the YouTube spoof of Cayla’s Story: To Kill A Mockery.

  38. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    MW — On one hand, Bobby could die because of Gina’s rash decision to travel back in time and see him one last time as a six-year-old. On the other hand, based on past MW storylines, it seems quite possible that somehow Gina will be responsible for the deaths of all three of her loved ones or some combination thereof — her dad and/or her mom and/or Bobby. Or that her departure will merely break Bobby’s heart. Or hers. Who the hell knows. Personally, I wish the mob had shot off that ponytail.

  39. Pseudo3D
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    First off, I enjoyed FC too, and noticed that Marmaduke’s art seemed worse than normal.

    In terms of Mary Worth, it kind of reminds me of a story a youth leader once said of how the reason he moved from Houston to Navasota, a small town about 80 miles northwest because he and his brother witnessed a murder, and they had to go into witness protection and change their names. Of course, the real reason was their dad just WANTED to. No murders and name-changing actually happened. I’m guessing Mary is easily swallowing this, just most of us attending believed it when he told it. It would be really fun to see if Gina was just yanking Mary’s chain this entire time. But Ginamania is a great way to end the summer nonetheless.

  40. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#37): On one hand, you’ve conjured one of the most poignant moments in a wonderful movie, and for that I thank you. On the other hand, now I’ll have to wash my brain to destroy any association between FW and TKAM.

  41. Mischief Maker
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been in Witness Protection my whole life, allow me to tell you several identifying details about my true identity and the specific mobsters my family sent to prison, random diner patron. What’s the worst that could happen? Wait… did you just say, “Capice?”

  42. Calico
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#27): @seismic-2 (#29):
    Ugly blues must be the hip comics shades today. Check out Summer (Knight) and Paul what’-his-name that Margo hates for reasons yet unbeknownst to us.

  43. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Very belated congratulations to chistery and the other runners-up! I finally caught up and the list was funny, funny, funny.

  44. Edgy DC
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Look at the sarcastic sneer on Dennis in the next-to-last panel. It’s like it came right off of Mr. Wilson’s face. You got it all wrong, Josh. Dennis is good stuff. Pretty consistently good stuff, too.

    You know, I never realized where Mary Worth got the money to be kicking back in the American-dream comforts of Charterstone. Then today I realized that, in between her hospital volunteering and supposedly other allegedly useful stuff she brings to society, she’s clearly a mob hitwoman. She’s playing Gina like a ponytailed fiddle here. “Keep singing, canary,” she’s thinking to herself. “Just like your soon-to-be-late Daddy sang. Just sing me the tune about his current whereabouts, and soon you’ll all be skateboarding with the fishes.”

  45. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    FC — I’m trying to remember the last time I was in a store that looked like this. Now I’m trying to remember if I was EVER in a store that looked like this. Now I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever seen an old movie that portrayed a store like this. I give up.

  46. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    FC — It’s kinda fun to imagine that Mommy has already arranged for Billy’s demise and is shopping for the outfit he’ll wear in his coffin. And Billy senses that something is very, very wrong.

  47. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    MW: This flashback is DY-NO-MITE!

    I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
    Saying GINA!
    I wanna see ya!
    I wanna skateboard and live my life
    Saying GINA!
    Baby, see ya!

    I came to skate, skate, skate, skate
    I hit the street
    With all my friends, friends, friends, friends
    I’m wearing all my nerdy
    Brands, brands, brands, brands
    Give me space for both my hands, hands, hands, hands
    Ye, ye
    Cause this plot goes on and on and on
    And it goes on and on and on

    Yeah!

    I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
    Saying GINA!
    Hey, there’s my GINA!
    And who’s that guy behind my GINA?
    Saying—

    ((BLAM))

  48. Uncle Lumpy
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    A quick poll of children indicates that the suffering of Josh delights them.

  49. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#45): I’m kind of horrified to realize that I have been in a store like that. I remember going shopping for school clothes in the Sears downtown, and yeah, it was pretty much like that. But even though I fall into the 50 (+1)-year-old demographic, I would never ever be seen in those types of clothes now.

  50. Black Drazon
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Gina and Bobby just got downgraded from precocious preteens to precocious third graders. By the end of this story, her father’s going to have to carry her into witness protection in a diaper.

  51. Johnny Knuckles
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#19): True that.

  52. Scott Bot
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#47): And it wasn’t the mob that shot him, just a concerned citizen trying to put him out of everyone else’s misery.

  53. Arabella
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @A Woman of a Certain Age (#11): But without the jacket there wouldn’t be as much for us to complain about. Are they messing with us??

  54. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#52): As I revised the lyrics, I realized that they actually weren’t any more stupid after I changed them.

  55. bats :[
    August 21st, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I think this mob story is going to be just as lame as the last mob story. I think Mary would agree.

  56. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#19): On one hand, I do see your point. On the other hand, as someone who can see fifty in the rearview mirror, it seems to me that there should be some acceptable way to indicate that Billy does not act, think, talk, dress, or look as if he’s a child, and that has been true for at least the past twenty years. The character he reminds me of is Babbitt, actually. Is it okay to call him that?

  57. endless sky
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: Billy + sport coat + track shoes = Les Moore mini-me. No wonder he’s depressed.

  58. Scott Bot
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): You know, he doesn’t remind me of a fifty year old, either. Seeing him in that suit, he reminded me of a ninety year old. Maybe we could give him a cigar and glasses and call him George Burns.

  59. Browns fan
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    If I stooped like Mama Keane is doing for any length of time, I would need serious chiropractic treatments.

  60. Rixter
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: Just wondering what “Gina’s” name was before she had to change it… “Judy Barton”? Other guesses?

    Crankshaft: Addition? Why can’t they use that shipping crate the DVDs came in? It’s roomy enough and has potential for dual use.

  61. Charterstoned
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    MW – All of a sudden, I don’t give a hoot about what happened to Gina, her family, or to Bobby. All I want to know now is whether “Gina” is her REAL name, or her Witness Protection name. Was her name something completely different, like Etheldreda (which fits her perfectly), or something similar to her real name? She’s been sporting this nametag that says “Gina”–but that could be short for Regina, or Orangina, or even Vagina. Did she change the legal name to something that allows her to use the same diminutive?

  62. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): I was thinking Willy Loman, except no sane person could ever claim that Billy is “well liked.”

  63. Westville Ocologist$$$$$
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    DM-Anyone else disturbed by the fact that Dennis’ buddy looks like a grade school version of Crankshaft? A Dennis the Menace/Crankshaft crossover??!!! Now THAT would truly be menacing!!!

    GA- You know every time I see this strip, I believe more and more that it was supposed to be cancelled long ago, only the syndicate forgot about it. Sort of like a “Milton the Stapler Guy” in the movie “OFFICE SPACE”.

    MW- Looks more like Bobby is about to “RAISE THE ROOF” at the thought of Gina leaving town. Who can blame him really.

  64. BigTed
    August 21st, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Billy realizes his mother is sending him to school in the kind of clothes that get kids beaten up on a regular basis, and there’s not a damn thing he can do about it.

  65. bats :[
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#60): Ann Gina. Her unfortunate father was a cardiologist before the family’s relocation.

  66. BigTed
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Margaret is doomed to spend her entire childhood preparing for a music career, only to face crushing disappointment when Simon Cowell kicks her off some TV show because she isn’t attractive enough. Meanwhile, Dennis will get discovered by a manager looking for a “harmless bad boy” and make a zillion dollars as a talentless pop star.

  67. forgot
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    has any one noticed that mama keanes mouth is just a black hole?

  68. Mibbitmaker
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace becomes his enemy!!!
    Meanwhile, Joel and Mike team up to torture some poor schlub with really bad movies, Mary Worth wants to sexually harrass men and get drunk, Mark Slackmeyer wants to join the Tea Party, a hungry Roadrunner starts chasing Wile E. Coyote, Bugs bunny becomes a hunter, Conan O’Brien starts a bit where he asks people on the street questions they cannot answer, Offissa Pup starts to bean Krazy Kat with a brick regularly, Spider-Man grows mechanical tenticles, Dick Tracy starts a crime syndicate, Mark Trail does something foolish, Margo Magee starts a sweatshop, Charlie Brown takes to eating kites, Snoopy speaks German and shoots down doghouses in the sky, Baka Gaijin dresses up like a clown (;o)) and Perry the Platypus plots to take over the Tri-State Area!!!

  69. Hibbleton
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    MW: …and back in those days we still had chinese laundries. I always remember Bobby chasing me through the steam.

    Actually, two of my childhood friends went into witness protection. One’s father turned state on the mob. The other witnessed a murder as an adult.

  70. Ukulele Ike
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#62): I see him more as Flask, the third mate of the Pequod.

    JP: Lieutenant Yelich? Whatever happened to the grand old name choices for never-to-be-actually-seen characters, like Robinson and Jones?

  71. OKStan
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    GA: Great! Now, I’m not only pondering the exasperating stupidity of Slim, a supposedly compitent 50-plus male, but now I’m imagining his feet inside those hideous blue Docksiders.

  72. OKStan
    August 21st, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    And speaking of Competance, I meant to type Competent!

  73. seismic-2
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: Gina: “He was at the wrong place at the wrong time!”
    Mary: “Yes, dear, I know the feeling.”

    GA: Slim’s “Gulp!” upon being informed that he has been walking around for the last several hours with a wad of paper in his shoe and not knowing it indicates that he realizes he has lost all feeling in his toes due to the onset of leprosy. The “Gulp! ” is in fact an expression of happiness, since everyone has always treated Slim as a leper, but now they will have a reason!

  74. Government Cheese
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    FC: Wow Billy looks hungover. Who knew they had such crazy ragers at the house.

  75. Joe Blevins
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

  76. Comcis Fan
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#57): Or Ellen DeGeneres mini-me.

  77. Hank
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#49): I, myself, think the store looks quite a bit like a modern T.J. Maxx.

  78. Dennis
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    While she’s at it she might want to write “left and right” on the tops of Slim’s shoes.

  79. demoncat
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    mw gina had to see bobby one last time not relizing doing so she had with out meaning to led the mobsters to him and ended up witnessing another mob death bobbies. fc. billy furlorn expression is because to him and the other keane kids school is like and exicution as mother keane secretly smiles over the joy of having some of her brood out of the house for a bit. denis just relized the scary thought that being around mr. wilson was rubbing off on him. and that he was being groomed to take mr. wilsons place as the old grumpy neighbor in the future.for a future menace to plaque him.

  80. Liam
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Tomorrow’s puzzle will be who delivered the killing blow to Count Weirdly after he was lynched by the people whose Internet service he disrupted.

  81. Neyba Bob
    August 21st, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    SFx: Yes, the surface of the sand is flat. But if there had been a little peak in the middle Slylock would have had no trouble believing the count’s mendacious tale. Flipping the hourglass over for 5 minutes and then flipping it back again, 5 minutes after jamming all the local wifi frequencies: that would never have occurred to the illustrious detective? No, the glass must have started full. Slylock knows all about carbon dating.

  82. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    By any chance is tomorrow’s post going to be titled “Sergeant McQueen is on administrative leave to spend more time with his family”, or is my RSS feed picking up some crazy junk? Does my computer now have The Sight? Should I be worried?

  83. gnome de blog
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Prince Valiant: I’m not sure why Maldubh would be invoking Manannan Mac Lir. He was a sea-god, more associated with mists and tides, a possible with guiding souls to the underworld, than with her kind of witchery. There is a tale about him and his three daughters that Shakespeare transformed into King Lear, but that doesn’t fit either. Anybody more steeped in Celtic mythology than I got any ideas?

  84. Filthy Assistant
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I’m getting that on my RSS too. Weird, wild stuff.

  85. Chip Whittle
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#19):

    Plenty of 50-year-olds are far hipper than any Keane, Duncan kid etc.

    There are deceased C-list 19th century polka cover artists, who worked as mathematics substitute teachers their whole lives despite never speaking above the volume of the water bubbler, never wearing anything which was not tweed or which lacked elbow protectors, and who in the most outrageous sensual moment of their lives sprinkled–one time!–a little paprika onto their home fries who are far hipper than any Keane kid. You can try for a higher standard of hipness.

    (And in fairness: polka is actually fun; who knew?)

  86. Dartpaw86
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    FC: What really intrigues me is that Bil Keane didn’t just brand his name in the comic once… but three times! O_o
    Does he really feel the need to show off that he made probably least funniest FC comic I have ever read?
    Bil Keane: I just wanted to remind you that “I” made this comic. This piece of comedic genius about a kid who doesn’t like going clothes shopping is mine and mine alone!! and my son… but the comic says I made it. THREE TIMES!’

  87. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft:
    Your aged mother/mother-in-law is having trouble climbing the stairs.

    On the one hand, you can buy a chair-lift for a couple of thousand dollars, much of which could possibly be covered by grants, and would take an afternoon to install.

    On the other hand, you can build an addition to the house for tens of thousands of dollars, virtually none of which is covered by grants, and spend the next couple of months in a constant state of noise, saw dust, and invasions of privacy by carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and building inspectors.

    In the Batiukvers, where misery is all that counts, the choice is clear.

  88. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (Y108): I wonder, and yet I dread.

    A3G – “Where do I begin? I mean, for one, the gall of him, to try and challenge my enslavement of your mind! Or rather, ‘mind.’”

    Crankshaft – “Really, why bother helping her when she’s probably going to be dead soon? It’s not as if the elderly are people or something. Oh shit, we need a pun to close with, right? …ah, screw it.”

    FC – Anything that involves a Keane kid being miserable is all right by me.

    FG – This looks like a supervillain origin story. Could her resulting powers of improbable inconvenience make her a foe for which Spider-Man is truly a match? (Answer: ha ha, no, she’d wipe the asphalt with him.)

    FW – And she just stands there mutely, once again. Did she get taxidermied and we just never saw it?

    JP – “It’s urgent! Some pleb was in the same vicinity as me, and he drove away before I could finish talking at him!

    MT – Suicidal whales: fun for the whole family!

    MW – “But Bobby tripped and fell in my thought-balloon, and I imagined his neck being broken! That means he must have died!”

    Phantom – Ahhhhhh…

    PC – Oh, the Roger Waters approach.

    PV – “Val climbs like a squirrel, then fluffs his tail up and chitters furiously!” (P.S. Holy Lovecraft, Batman! Maldubh’s fishin’ for death-by-cosmic-horror!)

    RMMD – See, that’s funny, because the way I remember it, Spider was mouthing off and the teacher lost his temper and assaulted him. But I suppose that version of the story doesn’t villify non-WASPs enough.

    SF – Ted Forth, you are awesome.

    SM – “I didn’t want to take pictures of things that actually happened! I wanted my camera to change reality to fit my beliefs!”

  89. The Ridger
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#83): There is no reason, any more than there is for her to be invoking Yog-Sototh, who was invented by HP Lovecraft. Mananan does at least have the virtue of being sort of period appropriate, but really I suspect the writer just crammed in a bunch of names.

  90. Kadzar
    August 21st, 2011 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    I think it says something about the residents of the Slylock universe that, when their internet goes out, they blame the local mad scientist and not, say, their internet provider.

  91. The Ridger
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    PV: Boy, Draco’s pretty slow. I mean, I know Val’s climbing like a squirrel, but in panel 1 Draco was already at the scaffolding and Val hadn’t made it halfway across the bridge yet.

  92. Ukulele Ike
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#83): Without looking anything up on the Internets, I know the story of the Children of Lir — three beautiful raven-haired daughters and three manly redheaded sons — who were turned into swans by an evil stepmother and forced to, um, live on a lake somewhere? After hundreds of years they got changed back, but then they all died. Not one of the cheerier Celtic legends.

    Yog-Sothoth, the Black Goat with a Thousand Young, that’s some heavy shit. If she yells for Nyarlathotep next, I’m gonna run like a frightened bunny.

  93. Sgt. Stoned
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: Gina just had to see Bobby again…and she did, that very night when, instead of finding a horse’s head in her bed, she found Bobby’s bloody, decapitated noggin with the word “omerta” carved into his forehead.

  94. John C Fremont
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): Babbitt? Ida know. I’d have guessed him as more of a Catstello.

  95. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#94):

    “Aw, da poor putty tat — he cwushed his widdow head!”

  96. Tubbytoast
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#38): Poteet, that has to be COTW!

  97. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#62): When you said “downtown,” it suddenly triggered a memory of visiting a certain department store in downtown Saint Louis many years ago that, yes, did look like that. I must remember to allow for the Billy Effect in future and not let his abhorred countenance affect my memory.

    And I think Willy Loman could work, especially since, as i recall, the only character who was cluelessly obsessed with being “well-liked” was Willy.

  98. Ned Ryerson
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Sergeant McQueen, how is he?
    He’s very popular in the community.

  99. ElkMeadow
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Gina goes to see Bobby and finds him with that foul-mouth tart, Jill.

  100. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#58): Interesting idea. But what is that loud spinning sound coming from George’s grave?

  101. Hank
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88): What makes you think ANYONE is RMMD is a non-WASP? According to today’s strip, Spider’s last name is Webb. Webb is, in fact, an old WASP name.

  102. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#94): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#95): Good heavens, how did I miss this dynamic duo? Once again CC has sent me to Google and I have been educated!

  103. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#92): There are cheery Celtic legends?

  104. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Tubbytoast (#96): Aw, thank you. *scuffs toe*

  105. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#101): Point. But obviously he’s in his “phase” of rebellion against upper-middle-class suburban conformity that his parents have yet to icily disapprove him out of, which for the easily terrified (a.k.a. the set of anyone who reads Rex Morgan non-ironically) is practically the same thing.

  106. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#83): @Ukulele Ike (#92): @commodorejohn (#103): I should have known that certain kind CC souls would let me know what the heck Maldubh was yelling about. Go raibh maith agaibh.

  107. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#103): Of course there are cheery Celtic legends. There’s the woman who was killed by her jealous sister and her hair was made into a harp — no, wait.

    There’s that king and queen who got into an argument about who owned more stuff, and one of them ended up with one bull more than the other and … and then there was this battle and lots of people got killed, so maybe not a good example.

    How about — no wait, she died. Oh, I know — no wait, he died. Or how about — no wait, they both died. Quite horribly, too, come to think of it.

    Uh … just out of curiosity, is Batiuk a Celt?

  108. Liam
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    MW-Gina is fourteen? She and Bobby look like they are twelve or younger.

  109. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#107): Bwahaha! I read the legend about the king and queen and their warring over who owned more stuff, and was then informed by a friend that of the Celtic legends he had read, it was one of the cheerier stories about one of the happier marriages. So I figured I’d better wait to read more until I was older, like maybe in my seventies.

  110. Liam
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#87):

    Don’t forget the third option of they could just push her down the stairs one day and never have to worry about her going up or down them again.

  111. Ukulele Ike
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#103): Pat and Mike were walking down Broadway, when Pat turns to Mike and says to him, he says….

  112. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers

    I say whip it
    Whip it good
    I say whip it
    Whip it good

  113. A New Day
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    MW: Check out that right leg in the final panel. Bobby is so full of youthful exuberance, not even thought bubbles can contain him!

  114. Lenoxus
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    It looks like McQueen is so popular that even blog posts subtly alleging his unscrupulousness mysteriously fail to show up…

    In seriousness, my RSS reader apparently got all of tomorrow’s post at 3:26 Pm today. Um, yay sneak preview!

    …? Anyone know what’s up?

  115. Just some guy
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    DtM:
    This is all just foreshadowing for the ultimate reveal:
    THERE IS NO MISTER WILSON.
    He’s like Tyler Durden.
    The character of Wilson is a figment of Dennis’ mad imagination.
    I can’t wait for the fight scene where Dennis is punching himself in the face.

  116. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#110): But then there’s no lingering misery!

  117. Baka Gaijin
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#107): Dittoing commodorejohn here. Saying “Cheery Celtic legend” is like saying “smart LuAnn Powers.”

  118. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#109): Yeah, and even then you may not want to read about the guy who made a pregnant woman run a race, resulting in all the men of the community experiencing menstrual cramps periodically ever after.

  119. bats :[
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

  120. Walker of Dog
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88) & @Hank (#101): The age-old spider-wasp rivalry.
    Six legs good, eight legs better?

    MW: In the third panel, Gina has to check her own pulse. “Am I dead? Have I actually bored myself to death with my own backstory?” And honestly, I don’t understand her concern about Bobby. Based on her vision, he’s found a rewarding career as a human cannonball. Can we move on now?

    Plug: This level of provincialism was fine before the age of mass tourism. But today Pluggers travel the world, exhausting their fellow tourists and the natives with ignorant critiques of local culture, topped off with some light jingoism about the American Way of Life.
    Hey, Manimals, shut up already. You’re ruining Tuscany for the rest of us.

  121. Spotts1701
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#111): Silence in the court, you blatherskite! *whomps with shillelagh*

    [/obligatory "Wearing of the Grin" reference]

    PV: Have to agree with the writer just going for “as long as it sounds evil and spooky”.

    S4th: GET THE NET!

    FC: I think if I ever looked that miserable in a store, someone would have called CPS and had them check in on my home life. That particular expression isn’t “I hate school”, it’s “kill me, for the love of all that is holy, KILL ME”.

  122. Walker of Dog
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    FC: The tiny stack of clothes, which indicates that they’ve barely started: Schadenfreude, thy name is ‘back-to-school shopping’!

    FW: I think Summer ‘speaks’ for all of us when she makes the standard “double jerk-off” hand gesture.

    JP: Randy (to Lt. Yelich): “Hey Officer Ethnic, send a flatfoot over here to arrest this
    idiot rent-a-cop… The charge? Failing to please me, of course. Now move it!”
    (to Ned): “As you may have guessed from that phone call (and my frowny face in the fifth panel), you just made the list, bitch.”

  123. Poteet
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#118): Wow. So, maybe in my nineties then.

  124. Maggie the Cat
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    I don’t always read Gasoline Alley, but when I do I think Slim is a dumb ass.

  125. Maggie the Cat
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    And I hardly ever read Family Circus, except on Sundays when it’s unavoidable since it’s got the top spot on the Sunday comics here, but today I laughed heartily. I couldn’t help but chuckle at Billy’s “poor little bastard” look, complete with hungover eyes and stooped posture. Surely he also smelled like vaguely last night’s cheap malt liquor, too.

  126. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

  127. bbofun
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    14-year-old girls in Mary Worth are trollish, sexless misfits who, apart from the brightness of their clothes, wouldn’t be out of place in a Japanese horror movie.

    14-year-old girls in Rex Morgan, MD, are trollopish, sexy misfits who, because of their clothes, wouldn’t be out of place in a Pussycat Dolls video.

    (music)”The More You Know…”

  128. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#126): Aaand I completely borked the HTML. That’s okay, I’m too pumped to care.

  129. ElkMeadow
    August 21st, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#126):

    There’s also a nickel one in Portland, OR. Or there was, the last time I looked, where all the games were 5 cents.

  130. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Katzenjammer Kids — Die Frau ist unbekleidet*:

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Katzenjammer_Kids

    *unbekleidet=naked

  131. Walker of Dog
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: In the last panel, Mr. Nolan brings out his red pen and marks up Mr. Wilson’s dialogue. “If I haven’t shown it, you can’t tell it. Minus 5 points.”

    A3G: Where do I begin
    To tell the story of how lame a love can be
    The fam’ly pressure that is crueler than the sea
    The simple-minded, pasty love she brings to he
    Where do I start?

  132. Blackurge9
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    FC: Clearly demonstrates the pros and cons of splitting your thorazine with the kid to get him through clothes shopping.

  133. Écureuil Écumant
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    FC: I remember well, although I was a couple grades older than Billy, my folks going back-to-school shopping and coming home with the cutest little powder blue punk-ass cardigan almost like that one. Oh the misery. If anything, he’s underplaying it.

  134. ElkMeadow
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Okay. Darwin is winning: Why would Draco be trying to get into Camelot? Instead of getting OUT of Camelot?

    Morganna, huh? Mudhen, why don’t you just cry, “Grandma!”

  135. Droopy Says
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#103): What is this talk about a lack of Celtic cheer? I’m about 90% Irish and . . . oh, skip it.

  136. Écureuil Écumant
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    GA: Grumble, groan, grumble! I’d be blue too if I were wrapped around Slim’s feet.

  137. commodorejohn
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#107): On the other hand, if they hadn’t been written, what would electric folk have been about?

  138. Ranger
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    MW: She just had to see Bobby. Looks like he is already there. He is practically jumping out of the thought balloon.

  139. Spotts1701
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#134): Perhaps he likes to push the pram a lot?

  140. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Let me tell you about my old neighborhood in New York. My neighborhood was so tough, we made chalk outline angels in the wintertime. Rim shot, please!”

    Phantom: “Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into, Sahara.”
    “I’m sorry, Ollie!”

    RMMD: “And in my opinion as a male, even if your daughter wants to date troublemaking losers, she could do much better for herself.”

    C-Shaft: I’m not sure what it says about Jeff that thinking about his mother’s changing needs as she gets older turns him into Donald Rumsfeld.

    A3G: Margo Magee prepares to speak truth to Powers.

    Luann: Now we know are reminded who has the balls in this relationship.

    Ziggy: Ziggy’s house has no furniture, but oodles of loose catshit. That’s just grand.

  141. Pseudo3D
    August 21st, 2011 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    @Edgy DC (#44): I love this theory.

    You know, although Cayla and Les are inexplicably getting married (I do read the dailies), and Summer’s friendship with Cayla’s daughter is going to be impaired when they become stepsisters, I can only imagine the best for Susan, who, as you may know, was thrown under the bus after she resigned (not literally). Hopefully, she left Westview, and experienced happiness for the first time in her life.

  142. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2011 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (y53): I’ve been Googling the phrase “penis rub colon.” No hits yet, but when there are it will lead surfers to this site. That’s one to think about.

    @Baka Gaijin (y109): Hee-hee. No matter how many times Jeff Mallett says otherwise, people are always going to think Frazz is Calvin. (One who got a lot more motivated after puberty, I guess.)

  143. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#126): And that, boys and girls, was the last time we ever heard from commodorejohn. But we know that in his own way, he was Happy.

  144. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Can we please get to the humiliation part?

    Dennis the Nuisance: That line worked for Churchill, but the world was a different place in 1945.

    Curtis: There’s nothing like the promise of seeing his father batter a woman to bring a smile to Curtis’s face. Is this what he bring to his relationship with Chutney, along with getting her cousin arrested?

    EffYou Wankerbeat: Batiuk must have read about starting in media res. Pity that nobody cares about what he’s starting.

    Crankshaft: Cranky knows someone named Williams? Any relation to Cayla Williams? Is he going to paint the town with her cousin Sherwin?

    Mock Trail: Too bad Marie Redwing can’t speak for herself. Meanwhile, in which community is Sergeant McQueen popular? The lumberjack community? Are they okay with him?

    Phantom: It gets too surreal when they tell us it’s in the English tongue.

  145. sporknpork
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    DTM: Someone needs to repair that weather and termite damaged door. Curb appeal, people!

    MW: “And even as he said that I knew I had to see Bobby before I left! Then POOF! Right there in front of me, in a puff of smoke, he appeared, tinier than his usual self, and granted me three wishes. Sadly they all pertained to skateboarding.”

  146. ElkMeadow
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Hey! Prince Valiant fans!there’s a fan site here! Gives more info about Valeta and Karen.

  147. sporknpork
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    Everyone focuses on the comic itself, but “Family Circus” readers really should look at Billy’s face at the top. I’ve never noticed Billy looking so sinister before. I’m afraid to sleep now.

  148. ElkMeadow
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s The New Adventures of Queen Victoria was good–especially the last panel– Some here already called it. (But beware of eht kcuD)

  149. Comcis Fan
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    MW (Monday): That Gina is such a tease, leaving Mary like that with a full meddle-on! “But … but … you said you need advice!”

  150. dale
    August 22nd, 2011 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    MT – Sergeant McQueen is very popular with the men. He’s not really a segeant, just a private. But he’s popular with the men. Because he does things to make them happy.

  151. Écureuil Écumant
    August 22nd, 2011 at 5:54 am [Reply]

    MT: So the smallpox-blanket cockeyed-wall-hanging look has caught the fancy of Ontariens? Ah, eet ees to die for…!

  152. John C Fremont
    August 22nd, 2011 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    MT – Johnny seems pretty angry as he clearly sidesteps Mark’s question about Sergeant McQueen’s health. Something to hide, Johnny? How is Sergeant McQueen really?

  153. Swordsmith
    August 22nd, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    ReFoob: While I don’t make a habit of leaving socks in boots, I don’t see how leaving them in there for months would be any different from leaving them behind the sofa. Meanwhile, socks, wherever they are left, do not become mysteriously more stinky from being left lying about; they dry out and very likely become -less- stinky, but at a minimum, not more. To make them -more- stinky, “killer” socks, the trick is to wear them repeatedly. But it’s the middle of summer, what are the odds that anyone has been wearing boots at all in the past few months?

  154. Kristian
    August 22nd, 2011 at 7:31 am [Reply]

  155. Arabella
    August 22nd, 2011 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Meanwhile, Cousin Andrew is placed in solitary, with only bread and water, after his prison escape plan is thwarted. He whispers softly, “Curtis, Currrtisss”

  156. Jimbo
    August 22nd, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail–Of course the two bird bands are similar, you dolt! Do you really think the two bands would be so dissimilar as to imply two different suspects? How many illegal bird-banders could possibly have this modus operandi?

    You know what would help Mark, Johnny, even more than Sgt. McQueen of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police? If you were to tell him the NAME of the person who gave Marie that necklace. Or perhaps Marie could volunteer that information herself (“Son nom est Jacques Ribideaux.” How hard could that be?) as she serves up coffee in that tiny dining room of yours.

    How tiny is it? Well, it looks like one corner is about three feet to Mark’s right in Panel 2 and about two feet to his left in panel 3 (with just enough room for Andy to sit on his haunches if he hangs his head over the table). Assuming Mark is about 2 feet wide, that would make the room 7 feet wide. Log cabin? Johnny lives in a log trailer!

  157. TheTJ
    August 22nd, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Gina isn’t actually thinking about Bobby, she’s just watching in shock as a smaller version of him Jazz Hands his way into reality.

  158. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    MW – 8/21 – “Special Protection” huh – that’s what we used to call a ribbed condom….

  159. blah
    August 22nd, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Gina will always remember Bobby the way he was: high as a kite and dancing in her doobie cloud.

  160. greghousesgf
    August 22nd, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    MW– hey, Bobby, if you’re going to do a Cornholio impression at least pull the back of your t shirt collar over your head.

  161. Guairdean
    August 22nd, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s expression is from the drug induce stupor that’s required to get him to stand still to try on clothes. I can here it now “Billy, you have ADHD. Take this pill”, “Billy, we’re going clothes shopping, take these three pills.”, “Helen, Billy’s out cold, come on over for a few drinks.”

  162. Master Mahan
    August 22nd, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Poor Billy. It’s hard shopping for clothes when you’re going through heroin withdrawal.

  163. Victor Von
    August 22nd, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    The caption explaining that Gina’s family was pursued by organized crime is unusual in two ways. 1) It is actually potentially exciting 2) It doesn’t end in an exclamation point.

  164. Jack Pendarvis
    August 22nd, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    I blame you for the fact that I actually laughed at a Family Circus cartoon. You conditioned me! I laughed before I even read what you said about it. I laughed so violently that cookie crumbs sprayed from my mouth. They were the Paul Newman Oreo rip-offs, if you must know.

  165. Braniff
    August 23rd, 2011 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    @A Woman of a Certain Age (#11): Wouldn’t Billy have been forced by his mother to be trying on a plaid jacket, along with knee-pants and getting a crew-cut? (“Ward, it’s perfect for little Theodore (er. William). Ward (er. William Sr.): June (er. Thelma) “Don’t think you’re being hard on the Beaver (er. Billy Junior)?”

    (This is the result of watching too many old sitcoms when I was younger.)

  166. Sterling
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    The solution to the ill-fitting right shoe comes a moment too late, as Slim has just swallowed the left shoe.

  167. thespian
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    Does anyone else get the feeling that the family then needed to change names and hidden locations 17 times in the next 4 years because Gina is a blabbermouth who randomly tells her customers (the postman, retail clerks, bus drivers, stray dogs) about being in the witness protection program?

  168. pensivefool
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    “I knew I had to see Bobby before I left! In my mind, I could already imagine him throwing his hands up in the air, sometimes.”

  169. jp
    August 27th, 2011 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    I just want to say that the Family Circus picture from this day got me through an entire week of work. I will likely frame it… cuz… just… hahahahahahahaha

  170. Diablo IIi gold
    July 24th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

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