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Puke-o-rama

Six Chix, 8/24/11

When I was a teenager, I saw a movie on the Lifetime Channel about the serious problem of bulimia, and the two scenes in it that have stuck with me are (a) one where two teenage girls are in a van in the woods, and one teenage girl, who is initiating the other in the joys of eating disorders, says “I call it scarf … and barf,” and (b) one where the mother of the second teenage girl opens a closet and finds all the jars of vomit the daughter’s been secretly hoarding, and immediately staggers back in shock and horror, which I found surprising because, really, could you honestly say that you’d be able to identify at first glance a jar filled with puke that resulted from a binge-and-purge cycle? Anyway, recently one of my nieces claimed that she was shown this film in a health class, which I found surprising because … squirreling away jars of vomit isn’t something actual bulimics do, is it? Please tell me that it isn’t.

Anyway, this comic brought up some memories of that film, for obvious reasons! Also, it made me feel like a cranky old person who mourns the coarseness of modern life. After all, if the actual comics are going to make baby-bird-food-is-vomit-even-for-anthropomorphized-birds jokes, how am I supposed to stay relevant making those exact same jokes on my “edgy” blog?

Apartment 3-G, 8/24/11

Oh, look, Apartment 3-G is proving that “Hoboken” is an inherently funny word as it coins its second Hoboken-themed catchphrase of the year. “He’s from Hoboken, Margo, not the moons of Jupiter!” isn’t quite at the same level as “Too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church,” but it’s still pretty good.

Beyond the fine phrase-turning, though, I have some issues with the dynamics at play here. For one thing, we’re now more than 20 years into the marketing of the western shore of the Hudson as the “Gold Coast,” within a quick PATH or ferry commute to New York; a denizen of Hudson County is at least as likely to be a stockbroker as a piano mover, though I concede that Margo’s snobbery is probably pretty accurate in terms of how arch-Manhattanites feel about the place. More importantly, though, the idea that Lu Ann is some kind of urban sophisticate who could never find happiness with a simple working man from New Jersey is completely laughable to anyone who’s actually read the strip. Heck, even if this were the one and only Apartment 3-G you’d ever seen, you might still question the idea that the cowering blonde in the all-white shirt with the old-timey collar would be too cool to be romantically involved with anyone.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/11

Will this pair of lovelorn widows with unnaturally sharp features find love together? All signs point to yes, despite the clownish vibe that the couple will give off, due to their freakishly bright hair!

Blondie, 8/24/11

What if you developed a sexual obsession with a television personality, an obsession that occupied your every spare thought, an obession that, for obvious reasons, you could never discuss with your wife, the person with whom you shared all of your other most intimate secrets? That’s a dilemma that would manifest itself in some pretty weird ways, I’ll bet.

249 responses to “Puke-o-rama”

  1. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Frazz: B is for Basil, eaten by bears. C is for Calvin, lost in the snow

    Lio: L is for Lio, served with Merlot.

    IP: I’m hearing Marvin the Martian for some reason.

    NAoQV: heeee!

    OTH: Baka Gaijin approved.

    rMC: Doc Ot. I like my otters better.

    frack. the Chron is b0rked again.

    MG&G: speciesism!!!!! we riot!!!

    PMP: heh.

    RwO: I’ll have to try that sometime.

    SFx: well, we now know who to call if Pickles ever needs a guest artist.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Boffo — Planet of the Apes Pluggers!

    Pluggers… scoot across the floor for really big spills!

    Marmaduke — Forcing a putty tat to sit on your head and cover up your bald spot is no way to go through life, mister!

  3. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Archie: Is that a totally gay-teen moment in panel 3 or what?

    Crank: So what’s the point with this “Younger Cayla Crossover” bullshit?? Does this mean we’re going to see a very old and decrepit Ed in a wheelchair at the Cayles merging??

    FW: “Pulling teeth from a crocodile”………wow…..Batiuk has successfully described the feelings involved with reading his drivel of a comic strip every day!!

    Luann: Brad, you clueless twerp. It’s some real “girl” stuff going on here. But don’t worry……..you’ll pay for it later.

    MT: YES, it’s GOLD, you knob. You’ve heard of it……yellow colored, ductile, good conductor, rare, much sought-after…..

    MW: This story arc is lame, even by Mary Worth standards, and it’s getting lamer by the day.

    RMMD: Oh, Jesus Christ. Here we go………setting the stage for yet another cheesy comics marriage!

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    RMMD:
    “I lost my wife during my second deployment… Car accident! That’s what I told the investigators and that’s what I’m telling you! No mutual murder deals with anyone I met on a train here!”

  5. bad wolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    JP–Awesome! In today’s Judge Parker we get to see racial profiling by a member of the judicial branch.

    Why is Josh suddenly discussing Six Chix? He has done more posts on that strip in the last week or two than the previous five years combined.

  6. Effluvius Erratus
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: The answer should have read, ¡ll?? ??? ?o ?no ll? no? ?u???n? ?,? ¡?? s,???? ¡u??pl??? `p?dn?s uo??u?? o? ?ou `?????p?suo?u? ??ns o?? p?s??? ?????n?p ?? ????l?q ?,u?? ? ¿?q ?? plno? ?sl? ???? os ??p????q ?? pu? s???s???? uo no? ??s ???? ?luo ? ¿???? ?ou? ?ou no? p?p ?o? ¡??po? ?? ?,?

    S-M: I hope those cops ‘roid out and beat the everluvin’ snotout of Peter for is smarmy-ass comment. (I’ve read accounts of police beating people up for less.) It’s not like he can fight back, can he? I mean, all he can do is take the beating while he mentally agonizes over the fact that if he defends himself, he’ll reveal his secret identity—and about how he’s gonna get the bloody piss-stains out of his costume.

  7. Effluvius Erratus
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

  8. S. Stout
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Blondie: This explains a lot. Every time Dagwood is about to be caught masturbating to Wheel of Fortune, he quickly rolls over on the couch and pretends to be napping.

    Luann: B-Wad is pathetic of course, but does Toni have anything better to do than try to get into a cat fight with the manager of WeenieWorld? I…I just hate all these story lines so much.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    9CL: Now they’re both annoying.
    (actually, they always are, but be that as it may…)

    A3G: “Let them eat cake, LuAnn! LET! THEM! EAT! CAKE!!!”

    Blondie: Nerdygeeky (about game shows, no less)… or “reality” shows.
    May I have a third choice, please, Dag?

    DtM: Really? REALLY?!

    MW: “And wouldn’t ya know it? — He saw a mob killing too!”

    SFx: Answer: The wrong one. Grandpa is senile.

    6C: This comic is approved by Stimpy.

  10. D. Mann
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Rex> This strip better calm down the pathos before it gets bitch slapped by Funky Winkerbean

    Blondie> I recognize this. Now if there can only way to someway to find out if Vanna is suggesting the third in the sixth at Aqueduct, or the seventh in the tenth at Santa Anita.

  11. Marlon McAvoy
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Er, doesn’t “pre-regurgitated” mean…pre-regurgitated? As in, has yet to be regurgitated? It sits there, on a shelf, when by all rights it should be in a stomach. Hell, for all we know it’s not even a gurgitated product.

  12. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    DtM: ……REALLY????!!!!???? [*]

  13. CanuckDownSouth
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    The MW writer must have skipped the day when their elementary school teacher explained that a story needs a beginning, middle, and end.

  14. Ed Dravecky
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Like #6 on The Prisoner, I think Mark Trail may be trapped in a special facility for former park rangers who know too much. Sergeant McQueen is very popular in The Community.

  15. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    this is funny, but also a Did Not Do The Research fail.

    I can think of a few other slices to add, but this is still pretty close.

    yawning puppy. *brainmush*

    Red Pandas doing an eskimo kiss.

    corgsqui.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @bad wolf (#5): Josh is a polygamist who’s married to all six of the “chix”: Isabella Bannerman, Margaret Shulock, Rina Piccolo, Anne Gibbons, Benita Epstein and Stephanie Piro!

  17. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    SfX – Grandpa got caught up in a Funky Winkerbean/Crankshaft time warp.

  18. Snowshoecat
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    RMMD– “your wife is dead too? Who cares? We’re talking about my daughter here!”

    Nah. That would lead nowhere. Of course, that’s where the current plot is leading.

    Crank– since Cayla Now has a teenaged jock of her own, that puts Cranky at least two decades in the past. That also means that all “cast” members over 50 are probably dead by now.

    SxChx– maybe the “artist” who anthropomorphizes animals by giving them ghastly wigs and neckties to indicate gender should take note of today’s strip.

    Or not.

    MW– looks like the tragic death involves Bobby moping himself to death.

  19. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    6C – Could you please direct me to the bat guano isle….

    A3G – I want a baseball cap that says Hoboken means “land of big penises” in Algonquin….

    RMMD – I lost my sense of hair style there – tragic indeed….

    Blondie – Now me, I’d play all day with Blondie’s boobs – but that’s just me….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  20. Snowshoecat
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16):
    Josh married to the SxChx? Well that’s just disgusting! Nobody deserves that! Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww.

  21. gleeb
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Rex: Don’t worry, that’s what black-dyed Kelly is for: to bring a calming influence to their wildly-colored hair.

  22. Tom the Sailor Man
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    FW/Crankshaft – Clearly we are witnessing the setup for a Funky Winkerbean storyline in which Les discovers an alternate timeline universe in which Cayla is a young softball player and LISA IS STILL ALIVE! He then takes his entire book advance and sequesters himself in the basement where he builds a machine to bridge the gap between the two universes. He meets himself and annihilates everything in both dimensions, so it’s all good. (JJ Abrams will option the movie rights.)

  23. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann – Mini-skirt, push-up bra … nice uniforms they give their managers. Of course, it is “Weenie World”.

    Watch the two women get into a cat fight, while Brad watches, cringing. “Oh no, now they have knocked over the dish soap and and are rolling around in it, getting all soaped up while they grapple each other. I’ll have to clean that up! And Toni just ripped Ann’s top off! Doesn’t she know that is company property? This could come out of my paycheck!

    And now they are … kissing? Huh? And why is it making me feel all tingly? Guess I need to do what mom told me to do when I feel this way – curl up in the fetal position, close my eyes, and think about socks.

  24. Tom the Sailor Man
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Where the hell is Gina meeting Bobby?
    They appear to be a long skateboard ride from the ‘hood!

  25. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Blue collar guys are not like us. They are only comfortable with their equipment.”

    Nancy: Aunt Fritzi is heavily in debt to the chiropractor underground.

    The Phantom: “But he really should be fighting instead of putting on a mask and cape. Ooh, that’s gotta hurt.”

    Family Circus: Yikes, Dolly got back! Or does she wear a bustle to bed?

    Over the Hedge: Now, we can all get behind the Anti-clown propaganda. But what’s with the “turtle and non-turtle walking around-ness”. Are they trying to recreate the Howland and Churchy dynamic?

  26. Voshkod
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    “He’s from Hoboken, Margo, not the moons of Jupiter.”

    Agent M sighed. “That’s where you’re wrong, LuAnn. Very wrong. He’s from Io, he’s actually a lava creature, and he was trying to eat your brain before he left in disappointment. Now, if you could just look at this shiny object . . . .”

    Flash!

  27. Spectra
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    I’m an LPN nurse who is studying psychology and deals with obsessive compulsive disorder myself, and I have to say that never in my entire working life, or as a student, or as a patient, have I ever once heard of anyone storing their vomit in jars. The only thing I can think is that the girl must have wanted her mother to discover the problem.
    Of all the bodily fluids, the ones I have the most trouble dealing with are vomit and sputum. Seriously, even the nastiest diarrhea can’t make me gag the way these do. So the thought of vomit in jars is making me really ill! Thanks!
    I love your blog anyway, though.

  28. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4): So that’s why I saw that drawing of Alfred Hitchcock in Sunday’s strip.

  29. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Tom the Sailor Man (#22): “There can be only cancer.”

  30. sporknpork
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: Word paradoxes aside, those could be jars of nectar, given the lady’s slender beak. Still freakin’ nasty.

    Blondie: He’s finally been defeated after countless bloody battles, the bones of his enemies gnawed on and even the heavens ravaged–he’s gone for good, never to harm another soul, but in the last frame, the last second, his eyes open–he will be back. His carnage is not OH WAIT, THAT’S DAISY! This isn’t MARMADUKE! I might need to readjust my display settings.

  31. sporknpork
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    I guess “Apartment 3-G” was too classy for a Margo “Paul is from Uranus”-esque snappy comeback.

  32. Voshkod
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Hey! The spambot at 32 liked my comment! Thanks, spambot.

  33. Esther Blodgett
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MT: Yes, gold, Yukon Cornelius. You thought maybe they were banding geese with back bacon now?

    CShaft: You think your daughter’s a pretty fair pitcher now? Wait another decade. She’ll practically be white.

    A3G: We also would have accepted “the slopes of Uranus.”

    PBS: Watch out, guys, there’s someone over at Funky Winkerbean who wants to pull your teeth out.

  34. Darryl Heine
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Glad you have the right date for today’s thread this time, Josh!

    You wouldn’t clap for Vanna White, Dagwood!

    And I wouldn’t put mud on Snoopy to cure a bee sting like the Peanuts characters did in 1964!

  35. Hirayuki
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Spectra (#28): At least one of the bulimics on Intervention stored her, uh, produce in gallon Ziploc freezer bags, secreted all around the house and garage. It was exactly as gross as it sounds.

  36. TheDiva
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    WARNING: Possible TMI nausea fuel ahead:

    Recently our library had a problem with a teenage girl puking on the stacks. Not in the aisles on the carpet–she was vomiting on the shelves, then concealing the evidence by covering it with the books or DVDs at hand. When her parents were tracked down and informed of the problem, they seemed less surprised by the act of vomiting then the fact that she was doing it in the public library, which cemented the general suspicion that she was suffering from morning sickness or an eating disorder and was trying to “hide the evidence,” as it were.

    My point is (now that I’ve spoiled everyone’s breakfast) is that it wouldn’t surprise me if some bulimics were concealing Howard Hughes-like stashes of former meals around the house. There are worse ways of dealing with the stuff.

    A3G: Is Margo related to Jill Black, or is this sort of middle-class snobbery commonplace and I’ve been too sheltered/fortunate to deal with it?

    9CL: Okay, Brooke, we get it, the mean nuns scared you as a kid so you figured they must scare God too, can we move on please?

    C’shaft: It’s bad enough knowing Cayla’s doomed to spend the rest of her days basking in the glow of Les’ Specialest Snowflakeness without seeing the promising athletic career she missed out on as well…

    FW: Darin’s being unusually patronizing to Crazy Harry today. Are we sure he’s not Les’ biological son?

    MW: Unfortunately, Bobby had already been contracted to “make his bones” by taking out Gina’s family.

    SM: Then Peter was clipped by the oncoming police car, the cops found the Spider-Man costume in his pocket, he spent the rest of his life in a small cell watching television and lived happily ever after. The end.

  37. Pozzo
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Is there supposed to be some hidden message in the fact that Margo’s outfit has a blue collar, or were the colorists just being too literal?

  38. Ellie
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Spectra (#28):

    My college roomie (we rented a house and had our own bedrooms) had bulemia. At the end of the year, her mother opened the bedroom closet to find close to a hundred Tupperware containers filled with vomit. It happens.

  39. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Spectra (#28) and Josh: I remember seeing this years ago (way over here in Europe.) Didn’t quite believe it.

  40. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Dag’s a wheel watcher♫, Dag’s a wheel watcher ♫

  41. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#39): How about the pit of Uranus….

  42. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    @Hirayuki (#41): @Hirayuki (#41): and everyone else that’s been commenting on the bulemia subject – I think today might be the day I don’t read all the posts here…

  43. Chip Whittle
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: As interested as I am in the vast gap which consists of Lu Ann, I’m wondering in why in the first panel there’s a box of Uneeda Biscuits atop a washtub in the background.

    Arctic Circle: Ha ha! See, it’s funny because… it… had the Facebook guy refer to Arnold Schwarzenegger? That’s funny, right? Isn’t it?

    Edge City: You know, Len, it’s faster just to stick your tongue in the electrical socket directly.

    Henry: Who knew Henry was a dolphin in human form?

    Mark Trail: Sargeant Doug McQueen, in his second day, still delights me. I like to think Sargeant Doug McQueen just repeats in bold whatever the last adjective he heard was, which is what makes him so popular in the Mark Trail community.

    Spider-Man: I realize the comic books probably over-explain this, but where did Spidey get his jeans, belt, and jacket from? Either he was way padding an unmentionable bulge or he got lucky to be chased into the alley where he most recently stripped, because he put on his Spidey-suit at home and wasn’t wearing that at the time.

    The way the cop says “no sign of him yet” makes it sound like the cops are having a lover’s quarrel with Spider-Man and won’t speak his name, just use the sarcasm-laden pronoun “him” instead.

  44. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    “I lost my wife during the second deployment…tank accident…uh, no, car accident, cars, that’s it. Car. Yeah. A Toyota.” Pause. “I’m very popular in the community.”

  45. twg
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Tom the Sailor Man (#24): Maybe it’s in Hoboken.

  46. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    FW: All-day dysentery?

    MT: At long last we rediscover Kiesl … serving as a policeman in Mtigwaki, where all the children are below average and the community pool is overchlorinated.

    GT: Evenin’ there, goodlookin’, anyone clued you in on the 13th. step yet?

    GA: Bolding the “I’m” doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t it be the “really”? I mean, really!

  47. un malpaso
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Apt3: I keep telling them that “Armonk” is just as funny-sounding, but nobody listens to me…
    sure, it’s in New York, but it’s suburbia, right? Plus it has those comedy “K’s”!

  48. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#48): I’ve already stopped reading anything.

  49. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    SM – Policeman #1 “Any sign that Spider Man is ready to come out of that alley?”

    Policeman #2 “Nope, just this guy with the exact same build coming out of the alley. But he isn’t covered in red and blue webbing, so it can’t be him.”

    Policeman #1: “Hey, just a crazy idea here, just throwing this out there, but … is there a chance this guy with the exact same build as Spiderman, coming out of the alley Spiderman disappeared into, the one-way alley with no other entrance or exit … could he be Spider Man just with no costume on?”

    Policeman #2: “Now you’re talking crazy! That isn’t a costume he wears, it is part of his skin and flesh, he can’t just take it off!”

    Policeman #1: “Are you sure about that? Because I think I’ve seen …”

    Policeman #2: “Can’t.Take.It.Off. Spiderman is still in the alley. And we will sit here all shift if we need to, in case he does come out. Now pass that box of donuts, and God help you if you ate the last jelly!”

  50. This Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    FC: It’s a firm belief in the Keane Kompound that incestuous orgies are the only way to appease the thunder gods.

    MW: “I always had to approach Bobby in a posture of his surrender–there were some close calls with his PTSD when I forgot.”

    SS: Other way around.

  51. Jeroen Krabbe
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    ASM – ZZZ . and another boring 3 panels as usual.

    Apt 3G – And let the catfight begin , of course Margo is always jealous when someone else is getting some time in the sack when she isn’t. Then again who would want to get in the sack with any of these people.LOL

    Beetle Bailey – Oh please , you have Miss Buxley who is hot , all the other women are military and look like Jane Hathaway(means no competition) and the best she can do is Beetle Bailey. I think she needs to find another job downtown .

    Blondie – This strip is so bad todays even moreso and of course been around longer than God. I think they need to stop doing it period. I mean Dagwood and Blondie grew up in the 40′s and are still the same age in 2011? Stick a fork in it.

    Crankshaft – ZZZ , boring

    Curtis – For a family that is struggling with bills and cant afford anything , they sure do seem to have a lot of food lying around for that glutton Curtis to eat. When he grows up he is going to lose that kiddie I can eat anything I want metabolism and be an obese slob. HAHA

    Drabble – If that girl doesn’t kick Norm to the curb, I’m shooting the writer of this strip.

    Hi and Lois – Stupid strip

    Judge Parker – Another boring long story arc coming up

    Mark Trail – Um so why do I keep reading this strip ? To help my insomnia

    Marvin – Where do I see this strip in 5 months ? Same place it is now ,boring

    Mary Worth – Take me Bobby – take me to to sock hop one last time. Can this strip get any more saccharine with it’s clean cut portrayal of kids.

    Luann – Kick Ann’s butt Toni . Of course Brad isn’t worth it anyway.

    Baldo – Give me a harpoon – Kill the pigtailed grandma glasses wearing sea witch.

    Rose is Rose – When are they going to make violin stings out of that annoying cat ?

    The Phantom – I love todays strip , nothing like violence and smiles to perk up your day. “My hubby just loves it here” says a sexy brunette to the Phantopm(as both she and the Phantom smile as her hubby beats the crap out of some hoods on the street)

    RMMD – Contrived story line coming up .ZZZ

    Sally Forth – Well Hilary went from boy hating harpy to clingy train wreck. Quick Jon push her in front of that moving car . Ha

    Zits – Hector maybe you should hang out with someone other than Mr thinks I’m cool but isn’t Jeremy.

  52. Charterstoned
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    A3G – Singlehandedly, Margo does more to undermine property values in Hoboken than even Zillow has been able to do since adjusting their algorithms.

    MW – “And I was just running toward him, thrusting my prepubescent nipples at him, when suddenly a huge limb from a tree broke off above his head, and he couldn’t do anything about it because his hands were jammed into his pockets. But he died smiling.”

    MT – This story line is beginning to rival Mary Worth for the glacial pace. Mark finds an old goose with a gold band. Mark and Doc wonder about the gold band. Mark tells Bill Ellis about the gold band. Mark calls Johnny about the gold band. Mark talks to Sergeant McQueen about the gold band. After each encounter, what we get is the equivalent of “A gold band?! That is INTERESTING!” The least Jackelrod could do is mix it up a little by having a character say “Who gives a rat’s ass about a gold band?” in much the same way as Mary could tell Gina that her Cruel Blow of Fate story is B-O-R-I-N-G.

  53. Paul1963
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#52):

    In a three-week-long storyline about replacing a broken washer, that’s your objection?

  54. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    6C: I don’t see what the fuss is all about. “Pre-regurgitated” is just another name for “honey.”

  55. k#
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    RM – “What did you do there?” “Tanks.” “You’re welcome. What did you do there?” “Tanks.”… repeat ad nauseum

  56. Paul1963
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: Am I the only one who thinks that strip would be vastly improved by Margo reacting with, “HoBOken?! OOOOOHHH, I’m DYYYYYIN’!!”

  57. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    BB: Beetle said might as well just give away any whose stems don’t turn blue when you squeeze ‘em, so here ya go.

    Pretty People Posse: It’s a bit trashy to drop a dime to INS on your dry cleaner just because he couldn’t get that cabernet vomitus all the way out.

    Phan: Those shirts with the lighting-up graphic EQ bars are so passé. Check out my new bikini top with scrolling EKG!

    S-M: No sign of ‘im yet, Sarge, so let’s kill some time by playing Bowling for Pedestrians.

  58. Megan
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Ah yes, “The Secret Life of Mary-Margaret”, starring Calista Flockhart. We watched that in health class too. It was…something.

  59. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @k# (#61): So now he’s got a tankless job?

  60. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#59): It’s kinda like watching a refinery across the street catch fire and blow sky high, and someone’s big toe flies through the air and lands at your feet. OK, it’s just a big toe compared with an exploding refinery, but somehow it catches your attention.

  61. pugfuggly
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    another installment of the adventures of chairman margo

  62. Greg
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    RMMD: In the movie version, Tank Commander will be played by Dolph Lundgren. I COME IN PEACE. Ms Knight will be played by Kate Hudson. I HAVE NO TALENT. The script just writes itself!

  63. T Campbell
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Let me get this straight: Dagwood is supposed to be OCDing about Vanna White’s farewell messages, and he’s figured out the ratio of “bye-byes” to “goodbyes,” but the only detail he knows about the “so longs” are that they happen “occasionally?” Is the ratio 23 bye-byes to a so long? 47? 112? NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAGWOOD. MY GRADUATE THESIS IS VERY DISAPPOINTED.

  64. Snowshoecat
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#37):
    And number 36 apparently liked my comment well enough to repeat it. Verbatim. Just exactly is going on here? First we get Josh’s column a day early. Now this. Alternate universe?

  65. Snowshoecat
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @emlak haberci (#38):

    Several comments have been repeated. I’ll repeat my own (for a change). What is going on? It’s creepier than Brad’s becoming a stud.

  66. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

  67. Dood
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#56): There goes the Margo Magee, bound for Brooklyn.

  68. Voshkod
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    The blog has gained sentience. It’s running a reverse Turing-test on us. It will soon reach an accord with the ALGU3000. Then we will all be sentenced to a comics-themed Matrix. Dibs on Judge Parker.

  69. Uncle Lumpy
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#64):

    What’s going on here? … Alternate universe?

    Turkish real-estate comment spam. Fixed now.

  70. Hart of Johnny
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    I still can’t get over these eight words: “I saw a movie on the Lifetime Channel”

  71. Dood
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#68): Does Judge Parker’s computer, the Jubbly 9000, run a specially designed algorithm that scales up female characters’ chesticular regions?

  72. Voshkod
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#71): That would be the only reason I called dibs on it. It skimps on plot, dialogue, and occasionally artwork because so much memory is taken up by mammaries.

  73. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#56): No, you’re not. That’s always the first thing that pops into my head whenever I see or hear the word “Hoboken,” followed of course by the phrase “Penguins is practically chickens.” Given the current state of affairs in this country I try not to think of the phrase “Pardon me, but could you help out a fellow American who’s down on his luck?”

  74. Chip Whittle
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    The Barn: Ah, back to the wholesome fun of an adorable sheep getting mauled.

    Diamond Lil: “Thank you, Lil, for saying something vaguely outrageous we guess about the deceased. This could only have been foreseen by anyone who knew anything about you, so you understand our embarrassment.”

    Dick Tracy: Hey, cool, Tracy can get faces instantly tattooed on his wrists! The applications are endless! Or are really cool for Dethany over in On The Fastrack.

    Wait, Robin Williams as The Wolf-Man is wanted by the FBI?

    Inspector Danger’s Crime Quiz: He knew it was a hit man because if this were really the finest hotel in town being used to hide an informant, then it would be Mandrake’s Mount Xanadu and it would’ve been penetrated by dozens of teams of hit men!

    Kit N Carlyle: “You’re a good friend of mine, but I bet you’d be tasty in that toaster.” And now we know Margo’s dialogue for tomorrow!

    Wee Pals: Oh boy! A bread and butter sandwich! We better hurry! Maybe we can get some saltines with room-temperature water too!

    Yenny: “You should definitely start looking for your common sense but I see you have none. I mean, starting a business that combines a modestly existing need with tawdry sex appeal? How could that ever work? Why don’t you just go back to ‘accidentally’ working at a strip club and show all the readers every curve you have?”

  75. teenchy
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#73): Sorry, that was me.

  76. Mustang
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    CS – Did someone already figure this out and I missed it? If I remember correctly, FW did indeed jump ahead about maybe 10 to 12 years. That means, even if she’s playing college and not high school softball here, that her daughter would have been born when Cayla was 15 or so. Was Cayla a teenaged mom like the sainted Lisa?

  77. Little Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#yy75): “Bitter tears” – “Crankshaft”. BTW, Ed is Les’ and Cayla’s daughter.

    FW/CS: Since we’ve firmly established that this is occuring in the Whoverse, it follows that the Pandorica contains Lisa, which is th most evil and feared thing in the universes, and Les has to stand guard for 2000 years, whining and moaning. For Les, time goes by too quickly as he enjoys himself.

    @Effluvius Erratus (#6) SM:: Nailed it!

  78. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    A3G – So here’s the really killer retort to Margo that comes to LuAnn in the shower, three days later: “Why I should love Paul even if he came from the depths of Uranus!”

  79. Steve
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: Hey Margo – You know who else was from Hoboken? Frank Sinatra. You know who wasn’t from Hoboken? Hitler.

  80. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 24th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Yea, like we couldn’t see THAT coming from a mile away.

  81. Snowshoecat
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#69):

    Thank you Uncle Lumpy! My hero!!

  82. Not Just Any Dipstick
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    DT: Smuggling gold via goose. Pure genius.

    MW: Bobby and I then made hot monkey sex for hours. I could hardly walk for days.

  83. The Gringo Kid
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    FW: In panel two, Crazy’s last take on Darrin’s idea — “Pissfast?” — obviously has the approval of a grinning Funky, who sees an all-beer breakfast special as a perfect excuse for falling off the wagon.

  84. Little Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Luann: Calling it — Anne calls the cops on Toni for “trespassing” and has her arrested{1}. This will have a potential adverse affect on Toni’s position as a firefighter. {2} Anne forces Brad to accept her sexual advances so that she’ll drop the charges against Toni. {3} Brad decides to fall on his sword {4} when Mama Grizzly DeGroot intervenes{5} and has Anne banished to Upper Volta until the next time Greg Evans gets bored for a plot {6}.

    1 – I know, I know, never in Real Life. This is theEvansverse.
    2 – Makes the Spidey agonizing about fighting back palatable.
    3 – Evans figures that, since Woman’s Equality, bosses of both sexes can get away with this.
    4 – “Needle”, I should say.
    5 – Anne forgot about the One True Love of Brad.
    6 – Or when Evans sees an episode of iCarly and realizes he has a strip about teenagers as well.

  85. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Mmmmmm….Turkish real-estate comment spam!

    Mary Worth: Before my family and I left town, I went to see him one last time. He was in his usual spot, in Pocket Pool Park, under the Cameltoe Tree, by Mooseknuckle Rock, practicing his jortsmoping.

  86. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#74): [Inspector Danger’s Crime Quiz] I prefer the Slylock Fox solution: the tray only has one glass even though Luigi specified two. The real room service has been intercepted by a hitman.
    But it’s a nice touch when the Inspector kicks the crook in the groin.

  87. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#84): Or when Evans sees an episode of iCarly and realizes he has a strip about teenagers as well.

    Even iCarly is more believable than Luann.

  88. Calico
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#36):
    Oh, that’s gross, and sad.
    One of the earlier episodes of Intervention featured a young lady named Selena, who ate like crazy, then puked into plastic ziploc bags, which she then stored in her closet in a box for a week…each week she would toss then into a dumpster, then start again.
    I think she also said she couldn’t puke into the toilet or garbage disposal in the sink as she clogged then up once – gaaaaaacccckkkk
    I can’t watch that ep any more, as I actually got dry heaves when I saw it (once).

  89. Alan's Addiction
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Birds shopping for vomit. It’s one of those sight gags that you’d really think would be more appropriate for “Marvin,” but it’s made its way into “Six Chix” for some reason. Also, I’m confused, as other readers are, by the use of “pre” in front of a word that’s already modified by the prefix “re.” It’s like pre-repeat, or maybe a re-preview, in that it makes absolutely no sense to anyone who speaks English fairly well. Anyways, I like to think that “Pre-regurgitated” indicates that it hasn’t been eaten at all, and mama bird there is not looking at bird barf.
    To be fair to Margo, the phrase “just a nice blue-collar guy from Jersey” could describe a host of different people, from Bruce Springsteen to John Gotti; so perhaps Paul isn’t as eligible as Lu Ann would like him to be. Also, I love that Lu Ann looks like she’s about to cry in the second panel. I’d like to think that she’s so dumb, she’s really upset that Margo’s accusing Paul of being from New Jersey rather than that he’s not good enough for Lu Ann.
    I see that “Rex Morgan” has decided to temporarily stop being that strip and be “Smoldering Looks of Barely Contained Passion and Desperation.” I also nominate this strip as the strangest way to shoehorn personal information into a conversation ever. I think that, in reality, a conversation with the opener “I understand your loss, Ms. Knight… I did two tours in Iraq!” would proceed: “I’m sorry, did you lose any friends over there?” “Uh… no, my wife died while I was away.” “Then why not lead with that statement, instead of the weird attempted segue that references a current event?” “I don’t know! I’m a character in a comic strip that’s written by space aliens who have only a vague idea of how humans interact!”
    It’s a pity that no one knows who Vanna White is anymore, otherwise today’s “Dagwood” would merely be uncomfortable and unfunny, rather than perplexing.

  90. Calico
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Oh, and I can’t see today’s comix except for MW and Zits-Daily Ink and Chron won’t show them-must be a problem with KF distribution…?

  91. Calico
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Hirayuki (#35):
    That would be it. Damn.
    Needles in veins are nothing compared to Bulemia, IMO.

  92. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#74): Sincere, non-snarky thanks for frequently bringing some readable comics to my attention.

  93. UncleJeff
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Phantom: OK. Your husband loves ‘lucha libre”. Then, why isn’t he wearing a demonic mask or at least a shirt with a devil or skeleton on it? And why isn’t he doing backflips off the garbage can instead of beating that poor fellow with his fists? How jejune! The Masked Dr. Wagner would be very annoyed.

  94. Marion Delgado
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Margo: “Okay, LuAnn, you want me to say it? I’ll say it! If Paul plays that goddamned Yo La Tengo album one more time, I’ll force his pointy little head through the hole in the middle and he’ll be wearing it around his pretentiously red neck! You satisfied?”

  95. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Megan (#58):

    Who ironically became anorexic. I guess living with Indiana Jones will do that to you. LOL

  96. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Tom the Sailor Man (#22): You don’t suppose that the douche from Big Valley Tech that knocked up Lisa also got Cayla in the back of van, thus producing “Special-K”?

  97. Chip Whittle
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Kristian (#92):
    Happy to do it. I really, truly, like comic strips and enjoy digging up the unnoticed ones.

  98. Red Greenback
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    “Cleanup in the lorikeet aisle.”

  99. Kristian
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Megan (#58): Thank you for finding that. I know the list of keywords refers to the whole series, but applied to one episode it sounds like a Batiuk wishlist: Abortion, Football, Homelessness, Steroids, Dating, Cancer, …
    (As side note, I’ve just found a way to remember how to spell his name: “It’s ‘I’ before ‘U’.”)

  100. debussy fields
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    MT– The mountie has one hand and one bended knee on the desk, an uncomfortable position for most people, but not for him. The muscles in his left leg are enormous and as solid as a rock. It’s those left leg muscles that make the man so popular in the community.

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Someone’s winning the Million Dollar Convenient Plot Twist Bonanza. The guidance counselor really has no choice anymore. As soon as he said the words “two tours in Iraq” Summer pictured his tangerine head mounted on the wall, “Replacement Husband” plaque gleaming underneath.

    Blondie: Dagwood sexually obsessed with something besides pastrami and everything on baguette? Will wonders never cease?

    Baldo: When you put “neckbreaker” and “ball” on the same line it looks like they’re calling her… yeah, that might be intentional.

    SFx: “Oh shit! Uh, yeah Grandpa. We got you something but it’s in the car. I’m gonna go get it.”

    S-M: Don’t believe the hype!

    Phantom: No lady, your husband is a fan of Bill Murray’s Todd DiLaMuca character from the Nerds sketches. Noogies for everyone!

    MW: “When I told Bobby what my father had seen, he said ‘I wish you hadn’t told me that, and pulled out a .38 special. Well, at that point it was either him or me…”

    MT: Doug Macqueen dives for the gold and screams “I’m rich! I’m filthy rich! I never have to wear this stupid uniform again!”

    DtM: You can’t hug your mother yourself? Have to outsource it to a stuffed animal? You’re supposed to be a menace, not a lazy prick.

    BB: No comment. No comment at all.

    Dark Side of the Horse: Don’t usually read this one, but the bird’s line in the last panel really took it up a notch.

    HtH: Since you don’t have your navigator anymore, maybe I can be of some assistance. You’re in the middle of the fucking ocean.

    FW: Unless she can throw an engagement ring at Les Moore’s head, her hurling skills won’t help her much in the future.

    GT: You gotta love Kenny’s unbridled and cheerful enthusiasm in the middle panel. “Hey dad! Twenty guesses where mom is.”

    JP: Since Randy doesn’t mention his tail’s facial hair, he must be under the impression that “mustachioed” is the same as “Middle Eastern.” Never watch a seventies porno with him. He’ll never stop asking whether all the guys are Sunni or Shiite.

  102. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: “Grandpa was 72 on his last birthday. He says he wil be 74 on his next birthday.

    And the answer is that he’s 73?

    That…that doesn’t make sense. If he’s 73 now, then on his last birthday he was 73, not 72. That’s what a birthday means!

    For instance, on my last birthday I was 58. I haven’t had a birthday since, so I’m still 58. On my next birthday I’ll be 59. I wasn’t 57 on my last birthday, I was 58!

    And how the hell did I end up in my late 50s, anyway? When did that happen?

    Thanks, Bob Weber Jr. Not only have you short-circuited my head with dumb logic, you’ve also reminded me that I’m getting old.

    Could someone tell me why we call these things “comics”?

  103. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#87): Even iCarly is more believable than Luann.

    It drives Mrs. Stoneaxe to distraction that Jennette McCurdy’s Sam is always so nasty to her male cohort (Freddie!) on iCarly. In fact, my wife (who’s generally as non-violent as they come) has actually said: “Freddie needs to punch Sam in the mouth!”

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#90): The chron site seems to be a problem for people (like myself) who work with IE7. I’ve been using the Arizona Republic site (azcentral.com) for the bulk and catching up with the remainder on GoComics.

  105. ZaneTarlo
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure what would be more disturbing to a parent, to find out that your daughter has bulimia or that she horded her barf in jars in her closet like some kind of pukey packrat.

  106. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#103): Watching Sam beat the crap out of Brad would be fun, though.

  107. Thomas B.
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Hey Margo, exactly what is it about a guy from Hoboken that makes him innapropriate? Was it that he went out for a real meal rather than eat that box of baking soda you have boiling on the stove?

  108. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Completely OT, I would like to thank Josh for allowing us to play here without having to join Facebook. Several newspapers in Iowa have recently decided that anyone who wants to comment on their forums must join The Big F in order to do so. That makes me love CC all the more. *sniff*

  109. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#98): In the shrike aisle, by contrast, all is tranquility — each item neatly impaled on its proper thorn.

  110. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Archie-I wear a hat now. Hats are cool.

    FW-Sorry son but they have been doing breakfast pizzas for years now. Red Barron sells a breakfast pizza.

  111. Laura
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    HOLY CRAP I REMEMBER THAT MOVIE. It starred Calista Flockhart, it did. My memory may be embellishing this, but I seem to recall the mother character screaming with all the fervor of a Jamie Lee Curtis as some of the jars started careening toward her in slow motion. At any rate, that’s how it should have gone down.

  112. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (y#23): re. MT – AND it’s in Canada! I do hope Johnny Malotte does not meet zee bad end, oui?

    Perhaps Mywife Marie will keep from him zee moonshine jug which is the size of a battleship, no?

    If this arc really is a “Giant Claw” knockoff, then it promises something unique in Trailian history: Kelly Welly will do something useful. She’ll take a rifle and shoot one of the Space Buzzard’s freshly-laid eggs. Her clumsy clipart handling of the rifle will actually look better than the movie heroine’s gunplay.

  113. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#107) on A3G: “Hey Margo? Was it that he went out for a real meal rather than eat that box of baking soda you have boiling on the stove?”

    Well, what’s an upper-crust white girl gonna do when all she can score from her friends is powder? Besides, it’s smarter to cook it at the last minute because of those disparate sentencing guidelines.

  114. Comcis Fan
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    FW: Just when the strip takes your annoyance to fever-pitch levels, it decides to fever-pitch bore you.

    S4th: Maybe Jon’s father will witness a mob murder and the family will go into the witness-protection program and move to the Forth’s town. Or not, and Hilary, wearing a shortened pony tail, one day will seek the counsel of an elderly, salad-ordering, bullet-dodging biddy. (Is that why Gina fled in tears? Not because her mother died recently, but because Mary mentioned a bullet?)

    MW: Oh dear. Did Gina’s father see Bobby’s dad get whacked?

  115. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    MT-I love the Mountie’s reaction to Mark telling him that he found a gold bird band. It is like he never saw or heard of gold before. Yes, gold. It is a type of metal that is used in jewlery like bands.

  116. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @ZaneTarlo (#105): pukey packrat sounds like the culprit in a Slylock Fox caper:
    Shylock discovers a cache of ziploc baggies full of scream cookies in seldom used closet. How does he know that Pukey Packrat is responsible for the hoarding of clam chowder revisited?

    (The answer: Duh!)

  117. nerowolfgal
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Attention Mark Trail! Incoming rant from annoyed Canadian….

    Mounties do NOT wear scarlet uniforms in the office, that is their dress uniform which is worn only for ceremonies. Mounties have NOT parted their hair in the middle since the days of Dudley Doright and his amazing horse. Your “cute” French Canadian and your depiction of Mounties is from the 1910′s or perhaps 20″s.

    I know the panels are re-used, but at least try to stay in the latest decade!

    Also, there are actually cities in Canada, with skyscrapers, paved street, electric lights and everything. We even travel by jet and not dog-team or horseback. The majority of us don’t even live in log cabins……….

  118. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Marion Delgado (#94): Which Yo La Tengo album are you talking about, the one that goes “screeeeeeeeeee screeeeeedeeeeeeeeleeeeeeee screeeeeeeeeee screeeeeedeeeeeeeeleeeeeeee screeeeeeeeeee screeeeeedeeeeeeeeleeeeeeee”
    or the one that goes
    “la da la da la, la da la da la, la da la da la, la da la da la, la da la da la, Daniel Johnston, la da la da la, la da la da la, la da la da la, la da la da la”?

  119. ZaneTarlo
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Laura (#111): I just watched the PSA out of curiosity, it wasn’t actually badly done. It definitely could have used that scene to spice it up though.

  120. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Hammy, I love you but you forgot one very important step: clowns need a much stronger anesthetic than ordinary people. Cyanide will do just fine.

  121. commodorejohn
    August 24th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Yeah, but someone from the moons of Jupiter would be perfect for a space-case like you, Luann.

    BB – …I don’t even want to think about the euphemism on display here.

    Blondie – Wait, when did Blondie turn into xkcd?

    Crankshaft – Hey, she moves! She was pretty spry 10-15-who the hell knows years before Les had her stuffed.

    DT – Of course! It’s the results of secret government cloning experiments to combine Bob Ross and Ted Kaczynski, and Maxwell Smart and George Jetson!

    Luann – WOULD SOMEONE JUST HIT SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY? I DON’T EVEN CARE WHO ANYMORE.

    MT – Dammit, everybody beat me to the Giant Claw jokes.

    MW – Aww, how sweet, they’re meeting out by Erection Rock.

    MG&G – “Only if you let me staple a license plate to your ass, lady.”

    Phantom – Mexico! The only country where the Phantom could actually blend in!

    Popeye – Why the hell couldn’t the storyline start here, where the plot does?

    SF – Well, Faye’s parents don’t seem to have noticed her absence…

    SM – It takes a nation of millions one, if even, to hold him back.

  122. terrapin
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    DtM: The menace is that the bear is filled with the most potent Hawaiian cat-nip Dennis could buy from the guys that hang out at the 7-Elleven. When Mom leaves the house, she will be mauled by a thousand feral cats.

  123. Esther Blodgett
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @nerowolfgal (#117): Pshaw. Next you’ll be saying the Quebecois don’t wear berets and striped shirts.

  124. ElkMeadow
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#114):

    …why Gina fled in tears? Not because her mother died recently, but because Mary mentioned a bullet?)

    Oh, crap, you figured it out.

  125. ZaneTarlo
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “Toni’s just leaving” Brad is the biggest wussbag in history. He makes GUNTHER look like he has balls in comparison. GUNTHER, I say! B-wad, do you really want to be worse than that? My God, it’s like every male in this strip is a gutless, spineless, wimping, simpering moron.

  126. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @nerowolfgal (#117): Uh oh, you’re not going to like this, but wait until Sergeant McQueen comes out from behind the desk and you see that he’s actually on his mount right there in the office! His horse is also very popular in the community.

    (See the movie Pandemonium for the source of this joke…Tommy Smothers plays the RCMP detective)

  127. Vince M
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Kristian (#99): ‘I’ before ‘U’? Yeah, that’s him all right!

  128. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#8): Dagwood masturbating to Wheel of Fortune? Hardly. It’s the Subway sandwich ads he’s a-whacking to. Woe be to anyone who walks in while a Meatball Marinara’s on screen.

    @Dood (#71): If HP sold the Jubbly 9000, it wouldn’t have to jettison its personal computing division. Just sayin’.

    @ZaneTarlo (#105): This Sunday’s Mark Trail animal? The Pukey Packrat.

    @Laura (#111): I’d watch that if the jar attractant was an evilscaryclown.

    @terrapin (#122): That is wicked ingenious cool.

  129. Violet
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “I had to leave Bobby and it broke my tooth!”

  130. littlestevie
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: If Dagwood likes to watch chicks with giant racks on TV, and with his overwhelming interest in food, you would think that he would be more turned on by Sandra Lee or Giada and their boobs over on the Food Network.

  131. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G-And this is why Margo is going to die alone in her apartment. I would say that she would be surrounded by cats when she dies but even cats would find her too arrogant for them.

  132. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @ZaneTarlo (#125): It’s exactly like that.

  133. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    And now we know why all Pluggers have that smell.

    Heart, don’t make fun of Dean. He just came up with the plot of the next “Detective Hewlett-Packard, Santa Royale Cop.”

    Ann Eiffel, get a clue. Even Sally Forth rejected that hairdo.

  134. jamoche
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#102):
    Today’s Grandpa’s 73rd birthday.

  135. Walker of Dog
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    DT: I appreciate Dick’s commitment to the authenticity of his Wrist Geenee/Wizard. Those stitches have to hurt.

    HtH: Cracked me up today. Hopefully, they’re riding that storm to the Keane household.

    FW: Kid, that kind of talk is how you lose an arm.

    MW: Why does Bobby look so shamefaced? What did he do behind those rocks?

  136. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: |T|W|E|A|K| |H|I|T|L|E|R| doesn’t fit.

    Speaking of hack jobs Reggie, whose 1974 Winnebago did you rip that shirt pattern off of?

    Miss Buckley always mistakes “chanterelles” for Beetle’s “tesicles.” Always.

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#130): mmmm, Giada.

    I can’t pay attention to her food, I get lost in the neckline and lose track of the recipie. I believe the syndrome called Barettophasia.

  138. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @nerowolfgal (#117): And how many of us Yanks realize that a lot of our TV shows are actually shot up in Canada?

  139. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#136): and “Dy-no-mite!” is three words, not two.

  140. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#138): the mountains behind NYC in a certain Jackie Chan movie comes to mind. . . .

  141. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#139): [looks back at Jumble] How could I have missed THAT???

  142. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Love Is-Join us tomorrow for the death of Mr. Is.

  143. Fashion Police
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    In our view, Mrs. Powers’ “all-white shirt with the old-timey collar” is wonderfully tasteful and attractive, for a woman seeking a missionary position.

  144. BigTed
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    I’m willing to bet “Dagwood Sandwich” has been a clue answer on “Wheel of Fortune” at some point. So it’s no surprise that Dag would have become obsessed with Vanna after she communicated to him through the TV screen by turning around the double-o’s in his name.

  145. Walker of Dog
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Said Police Officer 1: “Hey, I think that guy’s pulling out a weapon!”
    Said Police Officer 2: *BLAM* “Not a problem. You feel like pizza for breakfast?”

    RMMD: Wow, the stars are really lining up for these two. Tomorrow, we’ll learn that the desk chair lost an arm in Iraq.

    Plug: Too bad that technique doesn’t work when Pluggers drag their asses across the carpet.

  146. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#143): I see what you did there. :-)

  147. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Josh, suggestions for two new T-shirts:

    Manhattan:Hoboken::Earth:Ganymede

    I’m Very Popular In The Community!

  148. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Oooh, better yet:

    Manhattan:Hoboken::Earth:___?____
    a) Ganymede
    b) Io
    c) Callisto
    d) Europa
    e) all of the above

  149. Esther Blodgett
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#127): You could also remember it like this: “‘I’ before ‘I’ except after ‘I,’ or when sounded as ‘I’ as in ‘I’ or ‘I.’”

  150. UncleJeff
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#138): So THAT’S why those midtown Manhattan TV cops are running around Vancouver!

    Re: Mounties. A few years ago, I attended a funeral service for a police officer killed in the line of duty.
    It was a very solemn occasion, until the RCMP showed up.
    A detachment of 9 Mounties was doing public relations work at the nearby State Fair and came to be part of the funeral processional.
    All of the Mounties were over 6 feet tall (including the women), had boots so shiny you could see your reflection in them and looked like they came out of a movie studio.
    While the Mounties were very professional and deferential to the occasion, up and down the line…the local cop units were pushing each other in an effort to get the Mounties next to them in the parade.

  151. forgot
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    just as i suspected! luann is a space cadet and margos a bitch!

  152. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann – I love this strip – Ann Effiel wears a coctail waitress outfit from the ’70s – and Toni has a tat of, let’s say some crossed “hoses” – I mean since she’s a firefighter – of course B-Wad is still just a nasty DNA stain on his sheets – a wet dream imagining two hot women fighting over him….

  153. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Lu Ann has gone from puppydog love to puppydog hurt. Better heed Margo’s advice, or she’ll hit you with that rolled-up newspaper again.

  154. bats :[
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#61): The Revolution will be humorous. Within prescribed boundaries.

    @Laura (#111): Really? Callista Flockheart? Dang, that couldn’t have been more inspired casting if it had tried!

  155. Dood
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: A Space Idiocy: Is Margo telling Lu Ann that all these worlds are hers, except Europa and she should attempt no landings there?

  156. bats :[
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Oooh! Frazz rocks today! I <3 Edward Gorey.

  157. terrapin
    August 24th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#128):Thanks. It’s actually something I’m thinking about doing to my boss today.

  158. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#128): Woe be to anyone who walks in while a Meatball Marinara’s on screen.

    Ha ha… you’re talking about my dinner tonight!

  159. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#158): Just don’t go waving it around in front of Daggy. You may not like his “special sauce.”

    @terrapin (#157): Is your boss a clown?

  160. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Ocelot Week continues on The Daily Squee.

    the unseen 4th panel of today’s BC.

  161. Marc
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Maybe it’s just me but I’m hoping beyond hope that Toni gets fired from the Fire Department as well and is stuck with that hideous tattoo on her bicep of the logo for the place she no longer works.

  162. indubitable
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    My god, man! You’ve missed the most pressing question of all: why is it not “pregurgitated”?

  163. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#56), @Dood (#67), @Anonymous (#73):

    “You and your shortcuts!”

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Love the fact that Petey Otterloop’s diary comic looks like, well <Cul de Sac with a dash of Acme Novelty Library.

  165. Scott Bot
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Margo fears that if Paul gets too close, they’ll change the name of the strip to Last Exit to Hoboken.

  166. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#143): No doubt Lu Ann is a missionary position kinda gal, while Margo favors the mercenary position.

  167. Some Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    FW: At least it’s not about Les … at least it’s not about Les …

    MW: “But Bobby wasn’t holding his arms in the peculiar position I imagined on Sunday, so I did it myself to encourage him.”

    Phantom: When the Ghost-Who-Condones-Police-Brutality said he made the criminals put down their guns, I assumed his cop buddy would just cuff them and take them down to the station. This guy would get on great with Dick Tracy.

  168. terrapin
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#159): He may as well be.

  169. marion delgado
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Ned: The one you could have used in Jersey Girl, not the one you could have used in Garden City.

  170. Chennette
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Marlon McAvoy (#11) Er, doesn’t “pre-regurgitated” mean…pre-regurgitated? As in, has yet to be regurgitated? It sits there, on a shelf, when by all rights it should be in a stomach. Hell, for all we know it’s not even a gurgitated product.:
    That was actually my first thought…this might be just regular food, unchewed and un-gurgitated…

  171. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#168): Then by all means, hurl away. I’d be hurling if my boss was a clown.

  172. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Chennette (#170): that might lead to gruntled customers.

  173. littlestevie
    August 24th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137): I don’t know Queek, you should check out Sandra Lee’s Outtakes video on You Tube (if it hasn’t been removed) and you might change your mind .

  174. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I’m not sure just how location snobbery works on the East Coast. But I seem to recall that Lu Ann spent several months with her family in South Dakota, and while I myself think S.D. is a waaay cool place, I’m guessing that a lot of people would classify it below Hoboken.

  175. ArchieNemesis
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @nerowolfgal (#117): As a Californian, I’ve had some stereotype-shattering encounters with Canadians in the last year, including being taught to surf by a Canadian in Hawaii, and working in the high-tech industry for a Chinese-Canadian boss. And yet, until you objected, I found it totally believable that Sgt. Doug McQueen dressed for work each day in a full Mountie uniform.

  176. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Chron: If I decide it’s OK for your ads to hijack my sound system, I’ll send a message via fuckin’ gold-banded scriptural homing goose. Warm regards, me.

  177. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Marlon McAvoy (#11): @Chennette (#170): Thank you. Some of my brain cells were writhing around trying to deal with that.

  178. terrapin
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#171):I hate clowns. Ever since I was 8 years old. My favorite cartoon was Spiderman. I’d watch it every morning before school. One monday I turned on the TV only to find that Spiderman had been replaced by Bozo the @#&$ing clown. I’ve hated them ever since.

  179. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#178): Spidey replaced by a clown? That was downright premonitory.

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#173): ver nice, but I still prefer Giada.

    (prolly not a clip to watch at work, even if it is TV-network safe.)

  181. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#52): Rat on, so to speak, re MW! I unhappily predict that we’ll still be going from place to place asking cardboard uniforms about golden goose bands when Halloween rolls around.

  182. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    S-M — Does Peter leave little stashes of dork clothes around town, or what?

  183. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @jamoche (#134): Ah! (Damned tiny upside-down writing.) Okay, it works. But he’s still made me think about how old I am today.

  184. terrapin
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#179): Yeah. Even the comic book spidey is un-readable now.

  185. Anachrosaurus
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Ah, here we go: the glint of gold fever in Sergeant McQueen’s beady eyes. I now look forward to the two former friends stalking each other through the wilds for a fortune in goose bracelets. “Nobody puts one over on Doug C. McQueen!”

  186. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#182): He has to leave dork clothes around. That way nobody will steal them. Even bums stuff them back where they found them, turn away and say, “ewwwww.”

  187. Violet
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    What is going on with Dolly’s enormous can in today’s Family Circus? Do you suppose they’re trying to draw attention away from the unsettling central premise that she is attempting to manipulate her brother’s fear to persuade him to join her in their parents’ bed by making everything else about the panel as weird and disturbing as possible? If so, mission accomplished, sort of.

  188. Joe Blevins
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Godawful things are about to happen to Zombie Ziggy.

  189. Bill
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Two points:

    1. It wasn’t a Lifetime movie with the bulimic vomit hoarder, it was an episode of HBO’s “Lifestories: Families in Crisis”
    2. My ex-girlfriend did have a roommate who would vomit into Ziploc freezer bags and hide them until they could be thrown out in the middle of the night before trash pick-up

  190. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#186): BWAHAHA!

  191. Violet
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I wish every installment of every comic strip could be about how growing boys have such hearty appetites that they will frequently eat large quantities of food in spite of the fact that dinner is imminent. And I feel that with each passing day we are nearing ever closer to that goal.

  192. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#84):

    Luann: Either that, or the following happens: Ann has Toni arrested, then fires Brad after he refused her sexual advances. After a few agonizing weeks of whining to TJ, Brad gets his job back as a firefighter. Not long after, a fire breaks out at Ann’s house/condo/apartment/wherever she lives. Brad and Toni rescue her from being burned to a crisp. A tearful Ann profusely apologises to them both for being such a bitch. Bwad falls in love with her right there, suddenly proposing marriage. She accepts. Hilarity ensues.

  193. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    FC-Since PJ was born there hasn’t been any thunder in Mommy and Daddy’s bed.

  194. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#192): Hilarity would be a welcome change in this strip.

  195. Liam
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke-Tragedy struck today when a local woman’s husband was caught between Marmaduke and their cat.

  196. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    After all the comments about puking, it might be a good idea if some of you skipped Wednesday’s Scary Gary:

    http://www.gocomics.com/scarygary

    Seriously, don’t read unless you have a strong stomach!

  197. zerowolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo’s right. A blue collar guy from Hoboken isn’t Lu Ann’s equal at all. I figure a toothless homeless guy in Times Square to be more her intellectual equal.

  198. AndyL
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    What would I do if I was trapped in a loveless marriage only finding relief through TV and sandwiches? Well, first I’d rearrange our living room so that my wife couldn’t even LOOK at me without hurting her neck.

  199. zerowolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    FW: Batiuk has discovered breakfast pizza. Next week Funky will be showing off his new bellbottom jeans, Cayla will bring home a hula hoop, and Wally will trade in Buddy for a Pet Rock!

  200. Charterstoned
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    MT – Although Sergeant McQueen favored the karate “crane position” when working alone, the tight confines of his office persuaded him to settle for relaxing on one leg as he was entertained by Mark’s interesting story.

  201. zerowolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Seniority and the highest IQ!

  202. zerowolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Can we bring back Fingerbanging with the Nazis? Please?

  203. zerowolf
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#192): That sounded like a plausable Luann plotline right up until: “Hilarity ensues.”

  204. Charterstoned
    August 24th, 2011 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    But, seriously. I’m beginning to think that what is really happening in Mary Worth is that she stroked out after her meeting with Dr. Jeff, and is now lying on life support in Mount View Hospital, and that what is passing for a new story arc is, in reality, Mary’s own life flashing weirdly before her eyes in some drug induced coma, only in the reader’s point of view. That would go a long way toward explaining the feeling I think we all share, that we’re just tired of it all and can’t bear to go on any longer. In which case, all I can add is, “For the love of God, go to the light, Mary! Go to the light!!!”

  205. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#182) on S-M: “Does Peter leave little stashes of dork clothes around town, or what?”

    A tip o’ the beekeeper’s bonnet for your sequential embedding of “Peter”, “little” and “dork”.

  206. The Ridger
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    MW I’m truly surprised that Bobby is still alive. This “lame FBI-mob hit-leaving town” story is the truth?

    9CL If he’s really God and responsible for the 9CL universe, he needs to be more than merely scolded.

    MT I like to think that Sgt McQueen yelled “Gold” like that because the Bible-verses-bird-bands are really part of a secret plot to enable Canada to reclaim the US and he’s only just discovering that not all of his secret messages are going to the right people…

  207. gnome de blog
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#204) said:

    But, seriously. I’m beginning to think that what is really happening in Mary Worth is that she stroked out after her meeting with Dr. Jeff, and is now lying on life support in Mount View Hospital, and that what is passing for a new story arc is, in reality, Mary’s own life flashing weirdly before her eyes in some drug induced coma, only in the reader’s point of view. That would go a long way toward explaining the feeling I think we all share, that we’re just tired of it all and can’t bear to go on any longer. In which case, all I can add is, “For the love of God, go to the light, Mary! Go to the light!!!

    I’m thinking that Mary stroked out when Rita Begler shattered the swans.

  208. ElkMeadow
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    This just in on msnbc:

    Last week, we brought you the story Jadiam Lopez, a Miami dad facing unemployment and steep credit card bills. His prospects were so bad that he took a dangerous job working as a firefighter in Iraq. His story is a stark glimpse into the world of harsh choices that many Americans are facing right now as the sluggish economy drags into its fourth year.

    Oh, gads, please someone! Get rid of Evans and his idiotic Luann and do a strip about this one! Gary Trudeau, get one of your best if you would!!!

    http://redtape.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/23/7452567-he-took-a-job-in-iraq-what-crazy-thing-have-you-done-to-make-ends-meet

    @Poteet (#177): @The Ridger (#206):

  209. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#193) on FW: “Since PJ was born there hasn’t been any thunder in Mommy and Daddy’s bed.”

    Judging by the size of her resonator, Dolly’s probably the last one to be making references to thundering in bed. From her I’d anticipate not just wall-rattling thunder, but a rain of frogs.

  210. ElkMeadow
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Both Tundra and Mother Goose and Grimm had centaurs in the strip today. Something going on that we need to know?

  211. Red Greenback
    August 24th, 2011 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    NEW YORK (AP) — Maybe gold isn’t so safe after all.

    After months of setting record after record, the price of gold plunged $104, or 5.6 percent, Wednesday to finish at $1,757 per ounce. That was the biggest percentage drop in nearly 3½ years and a blow to investors who thought the metal could go only one way — up.

    Experts blamed the drop on the latest Mark Trail storyline.

  212. Dennis
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#131): Hopefully on the way out they vomit in her shoes.

  213. bats :[
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#211): Mark Trail…punching down market fears since 1946.

  214. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#211): but LoFo panel 2 pundit Wren Peck said it was a good buy!!!!

    ;-)

  215. Swordsmith
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: At first I had problems with the fact that Bobby, who had no idea that Gina was leaving, was so very morose, even when Gina was running to him in some form of soccer houligan victory dance, and that Gina, who was presumably heartbroken over having to leave, was… well doing said dance. But then I remembered that happy was the only way she knew how to be. Must have been difficult for her dad to convince the FBI that he’d seen a hit, while Riverdancing in pure joy.

  216. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2011 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#211): I remember when I was a kid gold was $32 an ounce. I bet in the Mark Trail universe they still think it is.

  217. Red Greenback
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#214): Was it the words from his beak or was it scrawled on his squawkboard?

  218. ElkMeadow
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#215):

    Maybe Gina’s dad made up the whole “hit” story, and that it was that he owed money to the mob and had to leave. And Bobby knows that her dad’s going to be a target, because adults always tell these things to their kids.

  219. Sisi
    August 24th, 2011 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#114): Re: Maybe Gina’s father saw Bobby’s father carry out the whacking. Could Bobby’s father also have whacked Lonnie’s cousin Richie to become a “made man”?

    A3G: Call me a dreamer, but I’d really like to see this morph into a remake of Taming of the Shrew where the Linskis recruit someone for Margo, enabling both Margo and LuAnn to leave 3G to be replaced by fresh characters, perhaps modeled on Wendi “TKO” Deng Murdoch and Alicia Keys. Tommy can stay to satisfy the small but loyal “paste is too a food group” constituency. Wendi could do a guest punch-off in Mark Trail.

    Re: Puke-o-rama– I’m horrified to find out that some bulimics do package their chunder. The ones I knew disposed of the evidence via the ever-popular porcelain god, one going so far as to scrub the porcelain and occasionally pour down half-a-cup of lye to remove any traces. We could still tell by the dragon breath and bad teeth. *ugh*

  220. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @marion delgado (#169): Oh, that one.

  221. Sgt. Stoned
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: OK. I’ve got it figured out. Bobby’s last name is “Black”. “Black” in Italian is “Neri”. Bobby is really the son of Al Neri, Michael Corleone’s right hand man. Gina’s dad witnessed Al, dressed as a cop, whacking Don Barzini. It’s all falling into place.

    BB: It’s funny because Beetle is asexual.

  222. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#205): Why, thank you. My subconscious took over.

  223. Poteet
    August 24th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @cooperstown atlanta braves shirts (#222): I don’t answer that sort of question until the second date.

  224. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @cooperstown atlanta braves shirts (#222):

    ChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChopChop

  225. Dariaclone
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Haven’t commented in years, but driven to ask now that the chron has messed with their system, is there another place to see all strips at once (besides a physical newspaper)? I won’t click through a million times.

    Also, re FW: I have made an incredible breakfast pizza. Crack an egg on an olive-oil laden-crust with bacon or prosciutto and cheese and you have breakfast. (smitten kitchen has a recipe if you need one).

  226. Dariaclone
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Oh, bake the pizza after cracking the egg. (And I even previewed!)

  227. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Spiderass has lost the ability to form thought balloons, and what he says in bizarre. If he weren’t running toward his wife I’d swear he got bit by a radioactive Mark Trail.

    Mock Trail: McQueen is stunned; he had no idea that Trail had come out of the closet, much less that he’d propose.

    EffYou Wankerbeat: “You know,” the bearded guy says, “That idea is so crazy it just might work! Let’s do it! What have I got to lose? I’m not the one paying for supplies, wages and general overhead!”

    Crankshat: Cranky’s smile has “sexual predator” written all over it.

    Family Circus: Thel doesn’t mind that the children might damage the books. A little tearing and crumpling will make them burn better in tonight’s bonfire.

  228. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]

  229. ElkMeadow
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Dariaclone (#227):

    Preview is your friend, but not your proofreader/editor.

  230. Poteet
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    8/25

    MT — Speed it up! Speeditupspeeditupspeeditupspeeditupspeeditupspeeditupspeeditup!

    MW — Which tragic disease places middle-aged heads on twelve-year-old bodies? Whatever it is, nightmares lie ahead.

  231. glassonion
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Ok, if the Spiderman comic is too slow for you and yet makes too just a bit too much sense, here’s the cure:

    http://boingboing.net/2011/08/24/polish-spiderman-is-kind-of-a-dick.html

    I think spiderman as an irritating harasser is just the breath of fresh air that’s needed to reboot the strip. OTOH he’s easily vanquised by a lady swinging her purse at him, so maybe not all that different.

  232. Anonymous
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    As to the whole vomit thing, it’s a way for bulimics to hide their vomit so as to not arouse suspicion. Trips to the bathroom after every meal would get pretty obvious, but retiring to your room for a bit wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. Jars are an easy way to conceal the mess.

  233. Comcis Fan
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    Thursday:

    S4th/MW: Apparently it’s Preteen Sweethearts Bidding Farewell in the Forest Week in the comics. Next week, Marvin time-jumps a decade and says goodbye to his diaper.

    H&L: Rare sighting: two happy Flagstons!

  234. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#228): Those two sites have some overlap, but also a lot of different, and good, comics. Azcentral has Sally Forth, Pardon My Planet, Bizarro and On The Fastrack. Gocomics has C’est la Vie, Endtown, Frog Applause and The New Adventures of Queen Victoria (among others, in both cases).

  235. Mr. O'Malley
    August 25th, 2011 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: If this is ten years ago, he most likely would have had a film camera, so he would have been looking through the viewfinder when he took the picture. (At least the camera has a viewfinder!) There would have been no point to staring at the back of the camera after you took the photo.

    There were some digital cameras available in 2001, but they were rather expensive, and I think none of them looked much like this.

    The Meddling Monk’s handiwork again?

  236. dale
    August 25th, 2011 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#232):

    How soon after eating does a bulimic throw up?
    I’d see a trip to the bathroom as less curious than a trip to the bedroom.
    But it might be easier to cover the noise in the bedroom.

  237. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2011 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    My still-working Chron page now has a note that I’ll be losing it starting this Friday evening. So it’ll now be my turn to go through crap trying to get a new page.

    Like this week will be SOOOO goddamn PERfect otherwise!!![/Lewis Black]

  238. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2011 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke: “You-know-who?” It’s nice to know that after all these years Hitler still lives in fear of the Allies, although I think they’d take more than his easy chair.

    Luann: Toni shouldn’t critique B-wad’s sex life until he has one. Especially as she’s done nothing to supply whatever demand there is. Incidentally, is it possible to be over twenty, tattooed and still a virgin?

    9 Dickweed Lane: On behalf of parochial school survivors everywhere I’d like to ask McEldowney a favor: go to work for the Church. Give them your best propaganda. You could do them more damage that way, and you both deserve one another.

  239. Readem and laf
    August 25th, 2011 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    MW ~~ Bobby knew before Gina told him — he always did! He was special that way, and she loved him for it. It was a telepathic link, like he could read her mind, or her letters, or tap her phone. (Bobby’s father had a hush-hush job.)

    Later, Gina carelessly blew the family cover. Again. Her parents get fresh identities and vanish, without Gina.

    A slow learner in the School of Hard Knocks, she’s soul putty in Mary’s hands.

    MT ~~ GOLD!? GOLD!?

    Finally! Someone gets excited about the gold in goose bands! Does the Mountie know of an unsolved crime: a bank heist, a stagecoach holdup, a reward?

    Sergeant McQueen says:

    Somebody robbed the Goosepath train
    And I swear, I ain’t lyin’
    They made clean off with sixteen geese
    And left two men lyin’ cold.
    Somebody robbed the Goosepath train
    And they made off with the gold.

  240. Mr. O'Malley
    August 25th, 2011 at 4:41 am [Reply]

  241. John C Fremont
    August 25th, 2011 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    Can we please stop talking about vomit now? I’m getting a little – oh. Oh, dear. Anybody got a jar? Maybe a Ziplock bag?

    @Paul1963 (#56): @Anonymous (#73): There goes the old Admiral Byrd, bound for Brooklyn

    MW – Hey, the part of Bobby is being played today by Robert Fuller, TV’s own Doc Brackett. Too bad that’s not Julie London’s adult head grafted onto Gina’s tweenage body. Now that would be good television.

    Speaking of the part of Bobby, ever notice how one person misunderstands the lyrics to Trouser Press, and all of a sudden every single lyrics website has the same wrong lyrics? Anyone? Bueller?

    Any chance the self-aware spambots will start picking up on all the vomit talk? efox-shop

  242. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2011 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#242): ever notice how one person misunderstands the lyrics to Trouser Press, and all of a sudden every single lyrics website has the same wrong lyrics?

    That’s because everyone cuts and pastes from the original site. Google the phrase “medical middle ages” and you will find thousands of sites that quote the exact same words about Surgeon-General Hammond and medicine in the Civil War. I’m fairly certain that the original text was lifted from James McPhrerson’s “Ordeal By Fire.”

  243. gleeb
    August 25th, 2011 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    Dick: Next caller, Mark from Lost Forest.

    :

  244. Hibbleton
    August 25th, 2011 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    MW: We met in the park under our favorite tree. And that park was in the Hamptons, as I didn’t want the large buildings that surround Central park to ruin the backdrop of our last memory together.

  245. Ned Ryerson
    August 25th, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Gold bands with bible verses on geese? I think that would make a good story.

  246. Kristian
    August 25th, 2011 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    BC: If you already have writing, why would you … how does … Actually that looks like a slider puzzle to me.

    Dick Tracy: Misread the first panel there. Thought it said “Dong in the city.”

    Funky Winkerbean: “Pizza jokes. It’s what’s for breakfast.” I was thinking of a “cereal and grape fruit” kind of thing back when they first started the joke ten millennia ago.

    Garfield: Jon and Garfield both know exactly which specific ice cream is being referred to.

    Hagar: Off-panel nudity. So did he swim home if he’s lost everything?

    Momma: Tom Sellek? Ah, yes, I remember the 80′s too.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are not shy about adjusting themselves in public.

    Zits: Impromptu abortion kits. That’s … edgy I suppose.

  247. Lenoxus
    August 25th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Unlike others here, I don’t see what’s so odd about bird food being labelled “pre-regurgitated”. Then again, the only food I buy is labelled “pre-poop”.

  248. Donte
    October 17th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Well put, sir, well put. I’ll certanliy make note of that.

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