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The great dog escape

Mark Trail, 9/16/11

I feel that this is a good opportunity to point out that Mark Trail is probably the worst comic strip out there when it comes to depicting responsible pet ownership. Remember a few years back, when a terribly depressed little girl got even more depressed because her puppy got kidnapped? Now, far be it for me to blame the puppy-kidnapping victim, but I felt that at some point during the proceedings of that storyline someone, possibly Mark, should have said something along the lines of “Hey, little girl, do you know why those kidnappers were able to kidnap your dog? Because you just let it run freely around your neighborhood at night! In fact, even in some kind of magical fantasy world where puppy-napping isn’t rampant, your puppy could easily have gotten hit by car, or attacked by a raccoon or coyote! Or maybe it just would have decided to run off with another family. Keep your dog indoors or in an enclosed yard, always!”

But of course Mark doesn’t say this, because he’s terrible. In fact, he just lets his dog Andy roam around and go wherever he wants! In this case, Andy has, after pursuing a lady dog named Princess (which implies that Andy hasn’t been fixed, another way Mark is a terrible pet owner), ended up in the hands of Sgt. McQueen’s mother, the lady who’s been putting the Bible bands on the geese. She’s shown her villainy by putting Andy in “prison” (i.e., a fenced yard) and trying to find out who he belongs to. This is exactly the same degree of evil as was displayed by her putting metal bands with Bible verses on the legs of geese, which is to say none at all.

Mary Worth, 9/16/11

Oh my goodness, sexy Bobby Long is on the “New York Blazes!” He’s on their “most eligible roster,” on-field and off! Which means, uh, what exactly? What the hell kind of soccer team has a “most eligible roster” on-field? Or off-field? Maybe the “New York Blazes” is actually a stable of male prostitutes, that soccer ball is just a prop to show he’s “athletic,” and Gina’s long-awaited reunion is about to get spendy.

Six Chix, 9/16/11

As America grows more diverse, our schools need to be able to embrace and educate children from a wide variety of backgrounds. Still, I don’t think I could blame a teacher for disliking a student who’s an actual demon from hell.

280 responses to “The great dog escape”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Pluggers — Ever since Mrs. Scat traded his scratching post for a new pillow, Fat Freddy Scat has been as jittery as a cat on a hot tin roof!

  2. ArchieNemesis
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    In Bobby’s case, “blazes” refers not to a soccer team but to an action he partakes in at 4:20 each afternoon.

  3. Plinko Commie
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail has set the stage for a magical comic crossover: The Poky Little Puppy With Fists

  4. Bobchillingworth
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Clearly Gina uses a Toughbook- so tough that it’s made out of industrial concrete.

  5. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Frazz: heh. I am reminded of an anime rant involving natto.

    HotC: needs moar bukkit.

    OtH: nice shout-out.

    PBS: upgraded from battle-axe, I see.

    Bizarro: sort of sharing a joke with HotC. don’t get to say that every day!

    PMP: therapy explained!

    Zits: it’s the little things that help to cope.

    JP: *le sigh*

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Former sideshow attraction Gina the Human Porcupine just launched her quills at a roomful of astonished onlookers. (Oh, the humanity!)

  7. Dood
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: On the bright side, at least two other Trailpets — Rusty and Sassy — aren’t involved. Cherry must have both of them tied up.

  8. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    JP -So, we’ve established that they are in middle school. Today we see that they are sitting in Calculus class. Not just overachiever Sophie, but a whole class full of middle schoolers taking Calculus. So, the character’s breasts aren’t the only things that bloom impossibly early in the Parkerverse.

    And for a bunch of kids about five years ahead of the Advanced Placement math students, they sure do spend a lot of time in class wandering around bickering. Is there a teacher? Derek’s excuse that he couldn’t be at his locker to meet his girlfriend because he didn’t have enough time between classes looks pretty hollow now.

  9. Dood
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: That web page would make me throw up, too.

  10. Sue D. Nymme
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @Bobchillingworth (#4): +1, I lol’d.

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Josh, Wikipedia says Andy was neutered back in 2000.

  12. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A&J: See, McElclowney and Evans? This is how you make sex funny!

    Beat-All Bailey: So in the Walkerverse, golf is a sin on the same plane with gambling, violence and rape?

    Mack-Daddy Trail: No wonder Andy is desperate to escape — he’s about to be devoured by a giant squirrel!

    Plug-grrrs:When Pluggers are outlaws, only outlaws get plugged … er … when outlaws are Pluggers, only … er … yeah, whatever. And so society begins its descent into chaos.

  13. Effluvius Erratus
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Ah, the goggle eyes of horror, in this case indicating that Curtis’s mom has finally realized that her son will be in Mrs. Nelson’s class every year until he’s 21, at which point the state absolves itself of any further responsibility regarding his care and upkeep.

  14. Mibbitmaker
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: There! See, Margo? Now how do you characters like it when you have to be left hanging till tomorrow’s strip to find out what’s going on? Huh? HUH?!

    A&J: ???

    9CL: Yes! It’s self-indulgent — BROOKE!

    BBailey: Yeah; golf, lovers’ tiffs, gambling and sex are so much darker than war and death and terror and savagery!

    DT: John Belushi in drag, and all Sam could muster was some cheap, hateful fat joke? Jerk! “Her” punishment — sharing a jail cell with Jane Curtin. “I could’ve kept the disguise off and gone to a men’s prison like Joliet Jake, but NOOOOOO!….”

    MT: Andy is overdramatic.

    MW: Part of the ad: “And ladies — he’s single….larly boring!” Meanwhile, that gay man in the tan shirt, struggling to get a look, is also interested.

  15. Plinko Commie
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: I would have expected “Jerry Sprinkler” to be the name of a fantasy talk show hosted by Marvin that explores … well, you know. Also, the mention of the black and white tv is important because it reminds us that these people are OLD. So OLD that they lack color television. Also they are out in the sticks. With people that are OLD.

    Funky Winkerbean: Unaware of the looming presence of the dead? In Funkytown? That’s like not being aware of that falling water sound at Niagara Falls. (inb4 Lisa Moore blocks the would-be game-winning field goal on the last play of the game)

    Beetle Bailey: I think we should all take a moment today and remember the Aegean task laid before the chaplain here. Every day he has to deal with his flock unrepentantly committing the worst of carnal sins. Gambling. Sadism. Rampant sexuality. Golf. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY MUST GENERAL HALFTRACK CONTINUE HIS BLATANT DISREGARD OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY’S POWER AND LOVE BY CONTINUING TO EMBRACE THE DARK ARTS OF GOLF. Jesus wept.

    Hi and Lois: What Chip fails to realize is that Hi is legally prohibited from listening to anything more intense than adult top 40 due to a series of progressively more horrific vehicular crimes that have been sealed from the public due to a controversial plea bargain. Hi sees that big group of toddlers and kittens and baby ducks, and his conscious mind knows to drive safely, but Slipknot is clearly about to overrule it.

    Curtis: The Google ad that loaded when I viewed the strip advertised 22-week abortions in San Diego. Thanks for the spoiler alert, Google!

  16. Effluvius Erratus
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    MW: Bobby’s soccer team is named after one of Lu Ann’s boyfriends/cousins/whatever?

  17. pugfuggly
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MT: No wonder Andy is confused about his predicament: no-one explained the problem to him in long, complete, english sentences.

    Momma McQueen should have told him : “I am unsure as to the identity of your master, and as canines have a propensity to behave irrationally in unfamiliar environments, I think it is best that I place you in an enclosure immediately to prevent you from taking flight. In due time I will locate your owner and have you returned post haste“. Simple as that!

    MW: I see that on Bobby profile page, they have one column dedicated to his bio, and another one beside it reminding you what exactly soccer is. Actually, from the photo, Bobby seems to be a little unsure of the concept himself.

    Also, I love the mix of expressions in the background of panel 2, especially the dark-haired man to the right, who seems to be thinking “My GOD, he’s GORGEOUS!”

    FW “Does he realize….”

    Ooooo! OOOOOOOOO! Another fill-in-the-blank! Let’s see….

    - “…that his fly is down?”
    - “…that the game is already over, and we lost again?”
    - “…that the reporter asked him about his thoughts on the anniversary of 9/11?”
    - “…his life has been an utter failure up to this point?”

  18. Droopy Says
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#7): So Cherry is renting the room next to the Wallets?

  19. Little Guy
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#8): This is the best SORAsing sweep since “Happy….. New Year!” from The Magnificent Ambersons.

    By next week, I expect Sophie to a katana-wielding badass.

    yBig Nate: I forgot to give proper props to Nate’s Picassoface Meltdown.

    Spidey: I’m sure that the children will find much joy and happiness when they see their hero led away in handcuffs.

    Let’s Humiliate Tiffany! Let is go, Evans…. she wasn’t worth it back then, and she’s not worth the effort now….

    MT: Andy tries to leap over the fence….. but cannot clear it due to his weight…. and impales himself!

  20. the big JC
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Even in his profile photo, Bobby already looks mildly disgusted at Gina tracking him down. This does not bode well for our heroine…

  21. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MT-In my mind I am hearing Morgan Freeman doing the narration of the squirrel.

    JP-Derek can even sit on my face or I could sit on his face.

  22. Mibbitmaker
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#8): I guess the school board figures that, as long as there are no teachers there to teach the kids or keep any order whatsoever, they might as well offer a class well above their grade level, since it’ll look like their students are geniuses, inflating the school’s status. Win-win-win.

  23. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    JP – Hey, be careful where you point those things, they might go off.

    MT – Andy must really be horny to go to that much trouble.

    Pluggers – Ironically, tearing the tag off the pillow is not against the law if you’re
    the one that bought the thing. So if a Plugger thinks he’s thwarting the law, he’s even more pathetic than we initially figured.

  24. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    9 Dickhead LaneYes, God is a wuss who can’t stand up to Wall Street. We already knew that (see: fall 2008).

    Drabble: Ralph, I feel your pain.

    Funky: Let’s assume the “ghost” reference is Batty-uk’s way of hinting that Dead Lisa is planning to intervene on behalf of the Scapegoats, and not just making Bull out to be a dunce for others to smirk at. Is she going to call a bomb threat in to the school district to get the game canceled, a la Les’s not-quite-so-doomed flight?

    H&J: Love inexplicably expressed for a nondescript and (ahem) colorless character — so now Cayla has time-shifted over to this strip, too?

  25. Mole Man Fan
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    MW: Since panel 2 clearly shows Ms. Mopey Ponytail directly facing her StoneBook with the screen a foot below, I defy anyone to replicate the panel 1 pose (face in profile level with and at an angle to the screen, left hand angled 90 degrees from it) without snapping a ligament or breaking a bone. Euclid weeps.

  26. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    JP – Ok, reading yesterthread’s excellent comments, I see I’m not the only one wondering how Sophie is taking Calculus, even if she may have already started High School.

    I figured it out though! You need calculus if you are going to calculate the rate of change of those curves!!! Yowza!!!

    @Mr. O’Malley (y#236):

    “When I go walking around the neighborhood, and I see a cat out doing its cat thing, I always make a point of talking to it. Some respond and some don’t, but I figure that when the time comes that the cats take over, because it turns out that all this time they have been merely a projection of 13-dimensional super-intelligent beings, I will be a little bit ahead.”

    Good to see someone else has figured this out. I figure that when the mother ship finally lands, I will have a lifetime of taking in and caring for their scouts on my resume. I’m always nice to spiders for the same reason.

  27. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    The Most Interesting Wizard in the World. (memetic mutation win!)

    incoming fox!

    for bats :[.

    The Dude abides. (actually the corgi’s name.)

  28. Jesse
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    I like how the second column of Bobby’s write up starts with “SOCCER. EAT…”. I bet it goes into detail about how he eats 3 pizzas and 4 dozen eggs every day. Ahh, journalism.

  29. word-doctor
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Luann: Need more information. Is that droplet next to “Shut up!” a result of a) a Wet Cheeks Power Splash, b) a Slam-Dump, or c) she’s in there with Puddles (in your FACE, Leviticus!)?

  30. Dan
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Oh my gosh! The appropriate news story was inside Gina’s briefcase all along!

  31. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: So Gina will expose her family to deathly danger after years of hiding from the Mob simply to become what is euphemistically known in certain sporting circles as “road beef” for Bobby.

    RMMD: Aw, Mabel made Rex cry! Mean ol’ Mabel!

    6 Chix: My mom was a teacher. My sister is a teacher. My brother is a teacher. Josh, they coulda told you a long time ago that many students are the spawn of hell.

  32. Alex Blaze
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    In Mark Trail panel 2, I’m guessing that the trapezoidal narration box is the most recent manifestation of the “wild animal drawings before plot, character, dialogue, and other details” mentality. How dare some mere words attempt to cover up a noble squirrel’s tail?

    As for Mary Worth, “on the field and off” has just become my new wink wink nudge nudge expression, like “if you know what I mean” or “that’s what she said.”

  33. karen
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Wasn’t Gina’s Bobby a blonde, unlike this inky-black-haired Bobby? Is Gina so desperate for a Bobby that she’s willing to throw herself at any Bobby that shows up?

  34. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Adam Sandler said it best in “Billy Madison” about today’s Mark Trail, “Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.”

  35. pugfuggly
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @karen (#33):

    No, if you recall, Bobby and Gina were virtually identical until they developed secondary sex characteristics. In fact, when this storyline first started up, my working theory was that there was no Bobby: Gina was simply a lonely child who had a deep, intimate relationship with a bathroom mirror.

  36. jayjaybear
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Momma: I’m currently offering sacrifices to the comic gods that I can get today’s Momma and a certain Rex Morgan running gag erased from my brain simultaneously…

  37. Dave Hardy
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Oh, so the mad Bible-Bander’s ONLY villainy is locking up stray dogs. What about raising her son in some sort of cult where he’s encouraged to believe he’s actually Sgt. Preston of the Yukon?

  38. Comcis Fan
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MW: The expression on the guy in the green sweater is great. “What idiot is making all this racket while I’m trying to work on my @#$%^& novel?” And the woman behind him — the gal with the milk — finds it all very entertaining. Actually, this scene would be entertaining in real life. It reminds me of my hangout cafe, which attracts a mix of friendly, annoyed and mentally off-balance people, and lots of laptops. I’m sure I’ve had that same annoyed expression lately, too, although mine is directed at customers who have no problem with their dogs barking loudly in a small cafe.

  39. Voshkod
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    The most disturbing thing about Bobby Black is that his picture appears to be coming out of its frame. Is Gina wearing 3-D contact lenses, or is Bobby’s picture somehow alive (which would make it more alive then anything else in the strip)?

  40. Mark B
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Sheesh, why doesn’t Sophie just buy the desk from Knockers McGee, her new rent-boy’s soon to be former girlfriend. “Here’s a $20, now go find yourself a seat in the back of the room, Missy.”

  41. geekwhisperer
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MT- Remember that Mother McQueen lives in a place where she can only communicate by dog, apparently. Finding Andy is probably like someone with an old Nokia finding an iPhone on the bus. She’s totally thinking: “Sweet baby cakes! Princess, as a svelte husky, may be good for short messages, but this big boy- These dogs carry booze!”

  42. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MW: Also, given the back story, shouldn’t Bobby by now be a member of a professional skateboarding team? Like, you know, Tony Hawk?

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    9 – “I just want to be loved… is THAT sarong?”

    Beetle – Truly an odd little tableau of Camp Swampy activities. Well, at least they’ve all stopped blubbering.

    Crock“…Half of you won’t return.” “What’s half of three?”
    That would be three halves. If you’re lucky, they’ll be the halves with heads on them.

  44. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Family – “I’m in a hurry. Who’s gonna pull my finger?”

    Phantom – Darn it, Ernesto always seems to be gone just when El Bucanero Infernal gets up on stage! What do you think about that, Clark? …Clark?

    Pluggers think it’s against the law for them to remove that tag from their own stuff. Apparently, they also think it’s cutting-edge humor.

  45. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Rx“That woman really knows how to push my buttons.”
    Yes, Rex. We know: It’s how she’s able to call you on the telephone, but thanks for including us in your thought processes.

    @Dave Hardy (#37): What about raising her son in some sort of cult where he’s encouraged to believe he’s actually Sgt. Preston of the Yukon?
    Now, let’s be fair here! She’s spent years helping her son get over that delusion. Really, she’s been gradually weaning him off of it. She managed over the years to get him to stop humming the “Donna Diana” overture wherever he goes, and he’s even stopped calling his dog “King.” Okay, he calls him “Princess” now, but at least he’s tapering off!

  46. Snowshoecat
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MT– isn’t it wonderful to have Mark Trail out-trailed by a humble blogger? Okay, blogger. Anyway, good going , Josh , for calling the animal lover on responsible pet ownership! If you could get your message out to more than just your faithful, you’d have done more for pet care than all the Sunday Trails put together!

    That said, today’s FC sorta confirms what you have suspected for a long time: the comic simply slaps new captions on old, tired drawings. Today we see the family sprawled in front of a console tv. How long has it been since a console tv was last manufactured? Okay, there is a cable box on top, but it seems that the old sets had dials, and they wouldn’t hqve been cable ready. Ah well.

    BB– okay, we understand that the chaplain was stuck in the lowest level of Dante’s inferno, but the sins depicted don’t add up. Lust and gambling, okay, but GOLF? Lust is fine, but sexist lust is icky. Just sayin’.

  47. Dennis Jimenez
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MT – I’m thinking it’s an evil Shriner/Neo-Iluminati/Mason conspiracy thing between radical religous cults in Mexico and Canada that’s doing the goose banding thing as some sort of plot to take over the good ol’ USA – a Dan Brown-Jack Elrod colaboration. Now how Andy will sort it out, I’ve no idea, but I’m sure he’ll work it out before Mark.

    MW – Wow – Gina’s aura can interfere with WIFI – Lerch over there on the left looks like he’s gonna brain her for interupting his “meaningful relationship” with Jenna Jameson….

    6C – The irony is if this clan really wanted a little devilment in their spawn’s educational process, they’d send her to parocial school….

    Adios Amigos, DJ>

  48. Snowshoecat
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Oops. That should have been Dante’s hell. Inferno was the title.

  49. Snowshoecat
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    MW– I am very excited about the unexpected end of Gina’s computer search today. I really thought she would play FreeCell and blather about her undying love for at least another week. However, Bobby is, indeed, a hunk. Well, about as hunky as men can get in this strip.

    Oh please let him reject her! She’s an ugly waitress, for heaven’s sake! Please, please, if there is a deity, PLEASE! Oh I know it won’t happen, but wouldn’t that make these past few months worth it? A surprise ending for a change?

    Sigh.

    Yes, I said waitress. The term server imparts way too much dignity to her job.

  50. ZananIV
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    I feel sorry for the red-horned parent monstrosities in Six Chix. Look at the thickness of those things in their hands! Those aren’t books. Those are bills. I can hear it now.

    “Well, honey…what should we do now? We’re ruined.”

    “I don’t know. I don’t know! Considering our residence, we can’t run away, we can’t fake our own deaths! We’re gonna live the rest of our eternal lives in soul-crushing debt.”

    “Donny’s home. Act natural!”

    “My teacher doesn’t like me!”

    “Ughhh…I don’t need this right now.”

  51. seismic-2
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#11):

    Josh, Wikipedia says Andy was neutered back in 2000.

    And Mark, sometime around 1953.

  52. ZananIV
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Then again, maybe the Six Chix is trying to say that teachers should try and understand a “demon child” in their class. The poor thing is, after all, being raised by demon parents.

  53. bbofun
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Pick your own snark from our fine selection!

    A)”New York Blazes”? I can only hope this is an Apt. 3G tribute, and they all wear ascots.

    B)”New York Blazes”? The only gayer team name would be the “San Francisco Flaming Queens”.

    C)”New York Blazes?” How many times has the NY Post headline been “Blazes Blasé”? Never. The Post doesn’t report on amateur soccer teams.

  54. Snowshoecat
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#12): “The sins of gambling, violence and rape.” you said it so much better than I did.

  55. Greg
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    6Chix: This might be the laziest depiction of Hell ever. The artist drew some half-hearted squiggles meant to represent flames and called in some reds and oranges. Where are the gnashing teeth, the boiling eyeballs, the ripped guts and chewed faces, etc? Instead we get a married couple relaxing on the divan holding pieces of fabric to their torsos… On second thought: The horror, the horror.

  56. Marked Trail
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Hi everyone.

    I am looking to travel to Canada for an extended vacation and possibly some place to settle down. I am deeply religious, love dogs, Mountie moms, Bible verse trivia, gold, and geese. Any ideas?

    If I find the right place I am planning on building something on the scale of Florida’s “The Villages” for the tens of thousands of like minded people.

    Thanks for your input!

  57. Esther Blodgett
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    FW: Don’t be alarmed by actually kinda funny content of today’s strip. Batiuk has drawn every single character with a gloomy expression to reassure us that any humor derived from ghost-based wordplay is at best incidental and at worst a portent of death and loss to come.

  58. Adfella
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Ah….nostalgia!

    The past two day’s explanations that Andy “doesn’t understand” and “is confused” brings back memories of the GREATEST Mark Trail storyline ever. Who can forget “The Saga of the Two Bears” (one wild and angry because of an arrow sticking out of its ass, the other a tame escapee from the circus) that were confused with each other in a Lost Forest version of “The Comedy of Errors”.

    The tame bear was constantly “confused” and “didn’t understand” why people were being so unfriendly. Add to that the sub-plot of the hapless romance between the blatantly seductive Kelly Welly and the obliviously clueless Ranger Rick, and you had comedy gold.

    There were a couple of other sub-plots thrown in for good measure, which I can no longer recall, although I seem to recall a car running out of control. Good times.

  59. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    MT – ‘Andy is confused about why he is penned, and he desparately searches for a way to…squirrel!!!

  60. Esther Blodgett
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    MW: What is Gina doing with her hand in the first panel? It looks like she’s trying to turn the webpage because she finished reading it.

  61. Écureuil Écumant
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#35) on MT: “No, if you recall, Bobby and Gina were virtually identical until they developed secondary sex characteristics.”

    Precisely.

    … And so what Iwannaknow is, how did Gina’s ponytail end up with the corpus cavernosum?

  62. Illustrator Steve
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    MT: As Andy attempte to dig his way to freedom Mother McQueen aims her shotgun as she yells, “No mangy dog is gonna dig up MY lawn like that! Maybe a double barrel blast of rock salt will settle that mutt down!”
    Meanwhile, down along the 5,500 mile long Canadian border Mark continues to enjoy fishing while thinking how nice it would be if he maybe takes Rusty fishing someday in the distant future when he’s home again for about 15 minutes and Tusty is 75 years old.

    WHY DO I CONTINUE TO LOOK AT THIS STUPID COMIC STRIP EACH DAY?!!!

  63. Col. Havoc
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Bobchillingworth (#4): Funny! At least worthy of the float…

  64. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Plinko Commie (#15): Funky Winkerbean: Unaware of the looming presence of the dead? In Funkytown? That’s like not being aware of that falling water sound at Niagara Falls.

    Funny you should mention Niagara Falls – with the high incidence of cancer and the overhwelming sense of doom and despair, I’ve often thought that the fictional Westview was based on one of Niagra Falls’ more notorious neighborhoods.

  65. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MW – So, Bobby is a confirmed bachelor who plays for a team called “The Blazes”? Gina, I’m afraid that this is a pretty strong signal that he doesn’t play for your team anymore, if he ever did.

    It is amazing how many different, interesting directions are always available to take these soap opera strips into, and how determined they (and especially MW) always are to ignore them all in order to deliver the most predictable, obvious conclusion possible. “Bobby is gay”, “Bobby is balding and overweight, and has a sandwich fetish”, “Gina contacts Bobby, Bobby is in the Mob, Gina’s dad is killed” – all these options are there, but we all have known for weeks that “Gina finds Bobby. He is single, successful, and available. They meet up, and weeks later he is holding her head on a park bench.” was the only outcome we were going to see.

  66. Illustrator Steve
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT: I misspelled “Rusty” as “Trusty”.
    Now I think I like the name “Trusty” better than I do Rusty.
    Okay readers and jackelrod, from now on Rusty the mutant will be known as “Trusty the mutant”.
    (Where the hell did my spellcheck go anyway?)

  67. Arabella
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    SF: I hope all these fall previews are actual upcoming stories.

    Frazz: OK, I had to look up natto. Who says comics aren’t educational?

    BC: Why has the test victim been bandaged up and put back into the failed cage? Wouldn’t a limbless torso be more apropos? Comics: encouraging logical thinking.

  68. sporknpork
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Things are really getting fired up in Mark Trail. There’s a squirrel! And a trapezoid!! And dog digging! And… and… the worst drawn fence in comics history!!!

  69. Chareth Cutestory
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Mole Man Fan (#25): I wish I could get my hands on a StoneBook Pro. Its even thicker and heavier than the old version!

  70. TheDiva
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Andy may very well be the smartest character in the Trailiverse. Apart from the squirrel, who just sits back and laughs at the whole predicament (kind of like the folks here, really).

    MW: Unfortunately, Gina forgot to check the date of the article, which going by Bobby’s picture was two years at most after she last saw him. Won’t she be disappointed when she goes to New York only to find Bobby was injured on the field, forced to cut his career short, and now sports a receeding hairline and a beer gut and spends all his time talking about his brief shot at soccer glory (if such a thing can be said to exist in the United States). “But…but you’re one of the New York Blazes’ most eligible on AND off the field! The Intertubes said so!”

    9CL: I changed my mind. Go back to the interminable underwater make-out session.

    FW: Nobody can tell if Bull is really bad at telling jokes, or just cripplingly stupid. Either way their depressed about it, which is par for the course in Funkytown.

    Luann: Ha-ha, Tiffany is crying her heart out with disappointment in the girl’s room while her so-called best friend touches up the makeup for her Mrs. Danvers cosplay and shows only a thin pretense of sympathy! And she deserves it, because she’s Tiffany! Ha-ha!

    Pluggers even fail at breaking the law. (The “consumer” in the “except by consumer” part? Yeah, that means you, you dumb man-cat.)

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#55): I’d settle for Sinfestian Devil-girls, personally.

  72. Écureuil Écumant
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#65) on MW: “Gina finds Bobby. He is single, successful, and available. They meet up, and weeks later he is holding her head on a park bench.”

    Yeah, and you know what, if it’s just her head that he’s holding it’ll be worth every fuckin’ day of this bee-grinding.

  73. Esther Blodgett
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Today’s Six Chix reminds me of the old Charles Addams cartoon, where Mrs. Addams is telling her crying daughter, “Well, don’t come whining to me. Go tell him you’ll poison him right back.”

    Alternatively, today’s Six Chix reminds me why I read old Charles Addams cartoons instead of Six Chix.

  74. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MT – Poor Andy, he’s obviously so confused and discombobulated about his predicament that in the first panel he’s managed to impale his neck on the fence.

  75. Écureuil Écumant
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    JP: You guys better bag the teen angst an’ cut back to Beetis’s RVs right peart now! Doc Morgan’s down in the ballroom of some big-ass yacht asking if the designer life vests are included in the standard trim package! Boys, this thing’s so mammoth you cain’t even see the ceiling in there. Forget the land barge, you’re gonna need a Gulfstream to keep up with the Morgans now. Best ask ‘em for permission before plunkin’ it down on their flight deck, though.

  76. Poteet
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    MW — This is an abrupt end to any fantasies I might have entertained about male prostitutes, plus I’m grabbing the brain bleach. Gaaah!

  77. Poteet
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

  78. Écureuil Écumant
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Blogging: This site spoils me and it gets hard to compartmentalize properly. Just a few minutes ago in a WaPo comment on an article about a recent patently false statement made by a public figure, I suggested the readers “participate in a poll to guess the number of times she had to shift her cheeks to get the entire statement out.” *already gone* I love you mudges!

  79. Poteet
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    MT — I suppose a tentative argument could be made that MARMADUKE also shows extremely irresponsible pet ownership, but I would counter that because Marm is obviously a demon overlord from hell, he doesn’t count. So yeah, MT wins. Again and again and again.

  80. Poteet
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MT — Plus this strip depicts dog tongues in a way that is even grosser than MARMADUKE, another hideous achievement.

  81. Shrug
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Adfella (#58):

    “The past two day’s explanations that Andy “doesn’t understand” and “is confused” brings back memories of the GREATEST Mark Trail storyline ever. Who can forget “The Saga of the Two Bears” (one wild and angry because of an arrow sticking out of its ass, the other a tame escapee from the circus)”

    This plot ran from December 2000 to March 2001, and is covered in great, great detail here:

    http://www.hickorytech.net/~flapper/trailarchives9.html

    (Back in the days before I discovered Comics Curmudgeon, the Trail site at
    http://www.hickorytech.net/~flapper/trail.html had to provide all of my hardcore comics snark every day. Fortunately the TRAIL plots were up to it; I can only shudder at the thought of trying to describe something like MOMMA in equivalent detail month after month.)

  82. Écureuil Écumant
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#43) on 9CL: “I just want to be loved… is THAT sarong?”

    No, Señor Wences, that’s saright!

  83. Dennis Jimenez
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#65): I’da named them the “Flaming Blades” notwithstanding that it’s supposed to be a scocer team – not ice hockey….

  84. Amateur
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    MT: ANDY is confused? He’s got nothing on me.

  85. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Coincidentally, Steve McQueen (no relation) was in The Great Escape!

  86. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#72):

    Yes, but holding the severed head of your paramour while sitting on a park bench is nothing new to Mary Worth:

    http://joshreads.com/?p=3901

  87. Edward F. Rochester
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    DONDI: today is Dondi’s 60th birthday.

  88. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#51): I always knew Mark was a Trailblazer!

  89. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: That R-R-RI-I-P! wasn’t coming from the tag. It was coming from behind Mr. Fat Cat. That’s why it felt great.

  90. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    S4th: Another sign of the apocalypse from ol’ Sally.

    On The Fasttrack: Is it wrong of me to think that Patina is growing up nicely?

  91. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Love Is-Did he look at a fully clothed woman again?

    MW-What type of laptop is she using? It is too square and thick. It looks more like a brick than a laptop.

  92. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Edward F. Rochester (#87):

    Ted Confrey is Dondi all grown up. Which explains why he used to call Adrian Cory “Queenie”!

  93. bats :[
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Let My Puppies Go!

  94. Minarets
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Oh my god. That neon armchair of Dagwood. HATE. HATE.

    (announcer voice) Hear ye, Hear ye! On this fine morning I, Minarets of Richmond, am establishing and announcing a CC hate page for that blinding eyesore, DAGWOOD BUMSTEAD’S NEON BLUE ARMCHAIR!!!!

    All applicants may join without delay and without fees. Joining is done by commenting on this comment.
    DISCLAIMER: CChatepageforbumstead’sneonbluearmchairisnotliableforanyexcessive mirth,tears,hiccups,and/orchokingonlaughtersymptoms.Ifyouarepregnant,askyourinnercurmudgeonifthisisrightforyou.ifyouareoldandsenileandacurmudgeonlyperson,askyourselfifthisisrightforyou.

    In other news, I laughed till I cried at Miss Buxley, running pell-mell as Killer chases after her, his hat probably twiddling. “Oh, help me! I wear pushup, padded bras, wear hard-to-breath-tight minidresses that don’t cover anything but the four inches under my hips in a male-only workplace and have a name like ‘buxley’ and why is this happening? What could I have done? Why doesn’t Killer go after Blips, huh?!”

  95. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#89):

    Plugger Tony the Tiger toots his horn because it feels greaaaaaat!

  96. undeadoranges
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    I figure I should point out that it, at least in my experience, it is common for people in rural areas to let their dogs run free. As a child, I imagined that everyone let their dog do as it pleased once it knew to come when called and stay in the area. This is not necessarily the right way to care for a dog, especially in a suburban setting, but I am not surprised that the author of Mark Trail would consider it normal dog ownership.

  97. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#93): Are you referring to Mark Trail or Judge Parker?

  98. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#95): And he’s lactose intolerant.

  99. dale
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#66):

    Check the transcript at #62. It says “Tusty”.

  100. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Arabella (#67): OK, I had to look up natto.

    Same here. My question is, is it as odoriferous as kimchi?

  101. Darryl Heine
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    PEANUTS 1964 – Can Hudson Bay be a nook or a cranny, and I don’t mean Thomas’ English Muffins!

  102. Dennis Jimenez
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Edward F. Rochester (#87): Did they ever let him out of that footlocker?

  103. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#86): WIth all these references to severed heads, I don’t which is the better snarky movie reference, Se7en or Barton Fink.

  104. Dennis Jimenez
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#93): Um, What did Blondie say to Maidenform? What did Abey say to Playtex? I’m serious – cross my heart….

  105. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#97): Speaking of which, I don’t know if anyone else here is aware of the latest “nude photos online” controversy, but we have a winner in the category of who should play Abbey Spencer in a movie version of Juggs Parker, and it’s Scarlett Johansson.

  106. Jasper
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    MT- Sapling fence? Where are all the saplings? And who would put a destructive dog among a patch of saplings.

    MW- Aren’t they in a coffee house of some sort where talking is permitted? So why are the two guys pissed off at Gina’s outburst, which is pretty mild based on the lack of extreme bold lettering. Unless of course, the public library system, in its marketing attempts at luring in more users, has allowed food and drink to be consumed in its quarters. Regardless, Gina is about to get “beered” or “coffeed” by the angry patron behind her.

    Ah yes, a trip to the er to be treated for 3rd degree burns on the back of her neck from that cup of scalding coffee that was violently flung at her by a porn using, angry that she is using up bandwidth, patron, will quickly reunite Gina with Mary.

  107. bats :[
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Yep. Josh was right. Everything’s better with male prostitution!

  108. bats :[
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#59): HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    @Scott Bot (#97): it started out with MT, but I guess JP is applicable, too.

    (My take on MT this morning… Andy: Hey, Mr. Squirrel, can you help me get out of here? Squirrel: screw you, dog. I’m sick of getting chased and mauled by you. Die in there.”)

  109. btown
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    *Pluggers:* Technically not true, but Pluggers don’t acknowledge the legitimacy of the Sixteenth Amendment, nor of anti-lynching statutes

  110. Marc
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Far too many of this strips conversations take place in a bathroom. Maybe it’s just me as a guy but the last place I want to talk to people is in the bathroom, unless I’m in the long lines in between periods at a hockey game, and even then it’s limited to what’s going on in the game. And I especially don’t want to talk to people while I’m on the can. Tiffany has it right, SHUT THE FUCK UP CRYSTAL!

    Family Cirucs- Look at that TV, this has got to be a reprint.

    Hi & Lois- It’s become painfully clear that neither Hi nor Lois are capable of any real human behavior or emotion.

  111. Hamsterpants
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Yup, that’a about right. In the “Mary Worth” world, hot major league soccer players look less like David Beckham and more like “Dondi” for those of you old/unfortunate enough to remember such things.

  112. UncleJeff
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#103): Or Joe Pantaliano in a bowling ball bag in “The Sopranos”.

  113. Arabella
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Hamsterpants (#111): I am unfortunately old enough to remember Dondi, and you’re right.

  114. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#104): Also, why doesn’t Big Daddy Keane throttle his melonheads? What does Creepy Les Moore think of “pay to play”?

  115. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#112): One bag for Ralphie’s head, another for his rug. You don’t disrespect the Bing. Or Pie-O-My.

  116. Katy
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#110): Yeah, it’s just you as a guy. But I, a girl, agree with you 100%: there is way, way, way too much talking in women’s rooms. There have been times when a client has gone into the women’s room with me and persisted in talking to me while I’m peeing.

    What, in God’s name, am I supposed to do with what she’s saying? I can’t remember it all perfectly, especially if some of her syllables are blotted out by the sound of my peeing. And it’s rude to not listen, and it’s even ruder to say “Please stop talking while I urinate.”

    But how am I supposed to remember what she’s telling me? Take notes? Okay, I can write while I pee, but then I have to wipe, so where do I put the pencil and notebook? In my mouth? then I’ll drool on them. Under my arm? At least the pencil, and probably the notebook, will fall in the toilet. On the floor? No, because of the chance that next time I’ll put them in my mouth.

    In short: NO TALKING IN WOMEN’S BATHROOMS. PLEASE. THANK YOU.

  117. Walker of Dog
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    FC: And so Billy sat down for a long, heart-to-heart talk with Not Me…

    A3G: Margo kicks herself for accidentally framing her declarative statement in the form of a question.

    MW: The reactions from the coffee shop patrons runs the gamut (clockwise from upper left):
    a) high;
    b) disgusted;
    c) waiting for death; and
    d) enraged because he was this close to determining a childhood trauma for his protagonist (but actually secretly glad to have someone to blame for his crushing writer’s block).

    Ironically, Gina is surfing the web on her WritersBlock 64 from Commodore.

  118. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury-The reporter Roland has a book he isn’t even supposed to have given to him by someone who got it by mistake and now he is posting excerpts from it. Expect no repercussions from this.

    Marmaduke-Woo to the ones who don’t remember the password.

  119. Snuggs
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    MW: Y’know, in my experience, most Starbucks patrons are too distracted by their manuscripts and blogging and senses of self-satisfaction to really give a damn about Gina’s chin-grabbin’ discoveries. The lack of thick horn-rimmed glasses just adds to the confusion.

  120. seismic-2
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hamsterpants (#111): I always thought that “Rusty” was “Dondi”, on (bad) acid.

  121. Mibbitmaker
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): Well, it’s certainly good that it wasn’t…

    Fred Garvin… Male Prostitute!
    (sensual theme music, superimposed title lettering)

    (Repeat as necessary)

  122. Walker of Dog
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    FW: So the reporter is a ghost? And the coach is accidentally insulting him? TGIF.

    GT: Wildcat: “You were great today, Bobby – and I made sure Coach Thorp knew it!”
    Jimmy: “Uh, sir, I’m not Bobby.”
    Wildcat: “You’ll answer to whatever name I give you. Now, hit the weight room, Bobby!
    Jimmy: …Yes, sir.”
    Wildcat: “(Hmph.)”

    RMMD: Rex, don’t put on that lifejacket until you’ve covered it with at least two coats of Entitlement.

    MT: Andy doesn’t understand your incarceration policy towards him.

  123. Red Greenback
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Hey, “No sapling fence, no sapling cents…” That’s my motto!

  124. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G-What is it Margo? Are you meeting with some third rate musician named “Queen Bee” or a royal Queen? Get your delusions straight.

  125. Terrapin
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Yeah Tiffany! Way to go! One down, now just everybody else in Luann World to go! Tell them all to shut up. Thank you!

    MT: Andy checks out his surrounings, sizes up his situation and does the most logical thing a dog can do. Once again Andy demonstrates why he is the smartest character in Mark Trail. Mark would have broken into a hardware store, punched a cop and gotten himself arrested or something.

  126. Mary Worthless
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Indeed it is an ad from the adult finder section of the neighborhood weekly. They don’t show you the bottom text, and I quote “Nobody bends it like Bobby!”

  127. endless sky
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#120): The roles of “Dondi” and “Rusty” (aka “Trusty”) are both played by the same actor. Notice that you never see them together.

  128. Dood
    September 16th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: With a little dialogue, this could be classic Tex Avery. “Andy is confused about why he is penned.” Andy: “I’m so confused about why I am penned.”

  129. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-Yet he doesn’t know how to push her button that really needs to be pushed.

    Zits-It’s the little things in life.

  130. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Zits: I’m betting the original version didn’t say “pig snot.”

  131. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    MW – ‘Oh, my God. That soccer ball…it’s my Bobby!!!’

  132. Grandstanding Oddball
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    So, did Gina travel back to 1994 to look Bobby up on AOL? I’m pretty certain that that is the exact laptop that I headed off to college with. It had 56MB of RAM and took about ten minutes to boot. Hury up, Gina, you only have 10 minutes left on your free trial of America OnLine! Oh, they sent you another ten discs in the mail? Carry on, then.

  133. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#116): I try to talk as little as possible in the ladies’ room. It usually gives away my hiding place.
    / Not really a pervert, though it might seem so.

  134. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Just my two cents – I never talk to the patrons when I am in a women’s bathroom. I just lurk quietly in the stall and peek out under the door, conscientiously remaining as inconspicuous as possible. If that makes me a hero, well, then so be it.

  135. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#118): Actually, he’s Tweeting his Fox News spin on the excerpts, so of course there will be no repercussions.

  136. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#133):

    Jinx!

    So was that you two stalls over at the Met the other night? How about that blonde with the runs!!

  137. lynn
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it be more precise for Andy to be confused about why he is inked?

  138. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#136): I thought that was Tiffany!

  139. Peanut Gallery
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#12), @Mibbitmaker (#14), @Plinko Commie (#15), @Snowshoecat (#46):

    Beetle Bailey – The sin depicted here is not golf. The sin is golf jokes in comic strips.

  140. Toto Maya
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    After taking a two-year break from reading the comics I am back! And I regret missing some of these epic storylines, but reading through the CC I have missed has caught me up! How super exciting.

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Mamzell (#y198)
    : yes, yes it does.

    @Walker of Dog (#y199): however, this works like a champ!

    for Firefox users, open up the strips that you want from the site in question, and Ctrl+Shift+D (and save the resulting bookmark where you want it.)

    This will save the collected tabs as a bookmarked folder, which can then be “open all in tabs” as usual.

    *does happy little dance*

    given IE8′s hatred of tabs, I shall leave the experiment to others on that browser.

  142. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#131): *SNURK!!!*

    well played, Bot, well played.

    [*]

  143. Shrug
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#11):

    “Josh, Wikipedia says Andy was neutered back in 2000.”

    “He turned me into a Neut!”
    “A Neut?”
    “Er — yes, but (woof) I got better!”

  144. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    some of us wish he’d been turned into a Newf. . . .

  145. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#142): I was hoping someone would figure that one out…

  146. Durandal_1707
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Actually, the mob had Bobby whacked years ago, and posted thugs in coffee shops all across America to watch for anyone who tried to search for him. Gina’s about to sleep with the fishes.

  147. Uncle Lumpy
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    “Andy is confused” — in Mark Trail, only the animals seek clarity. Humans are quite content with their buzzing confusion of bird bands, tourists, pancakes, unfulfilled sexual longing, and fists.

  148. commodorejohn
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    6Chix – Aww…you need a hug?

    A3G – Never try to tell Margo about something that isn’t Margo-centric, that’s the lesson here.

    BS – Is it that hard to spell “hobbyist?” Apparently.

    DT – Speaking of Olive Oyl, would you mind “accidentally” finding some contraband weaponry in her purse so she can be carted off to prison already? I mean, she’s tried to murder people like three times since I started reading Popeye, and that’s not even counting the pettier stuff.

    GT – You know, if I had a guy stick his head two inches from my face, I’d do a lot more than thrust my hand off somewhere past his shoulder.

    JP – Oh sure, drag him into this. That’ll win you love points, right?

    Luann – So did Evans decide to take over FOOB’s spot as the resident “ambition is evil, resign yourself to suburban normality or face the consequences” comic, or something?

    MT – *hums the theme to The Great Escape*

    MW – Sometimes in life there are moments of pure, shared thought, a unity of mind that comes only once in a long while. Right now, for instance, every soul in that entire cafe is thinking the exact same thing: “What the hell is she babbling about?”

    PMP – The Reader’s Digest condensed version of Mary Worth.

    Popeye – Oh, I have waited for this day. Die, Swee’Pea, die!

  149. littlestevie
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    JP: So the girl with the boobs name really is Honey. I thought it was just Sophie acting like a Spencer and being dismissive. You better be careful Miss Sophie because that could be Honey West, and she’ll kick your ass. If anybody on this site remembers that TV show, with all what 20 episodes.

  150. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Batiuk! Check out Dick Tracy. You see? See that? That’s a black girl — just in case you didn’t know. And judging by your own attempts at drawing one, I’m presuming you don’t.

  151. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#148):

    MT – *hums the theme to The Great Escape*

    I am so waiting for Andy to take off on a motorcycle when he gets to the other side of the fence.

  152. archikvetch
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mole Man Fan (#25): As I am an architect, can I steal “Euclid weeps” for my architectural critiques? I will give moleman full copyright acknowledgement

  153. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#149): I vaguely remember Honey West from my childhood. A quick Google search reveals, alas, Miss West’s distinct lack of Parker-esque boobage.

  154. archikvetch
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: Everyone is excited about beige purported gay dude on the right but what the hell is Peter Lorre/Egon Schiele doing on the left?

  155. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#149): I remember. Oh, how I remember. I even still remember the TV Guide cover with Honey and her ocelot on the cover. Anne Francis was my first crush on a TV/movie star who wasn’t wholesome (such as Mary Tyler Moore).

  156. Rhekarid
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    What…are those demon parents doing? I’ll extend my imagination to believe that the father is reading a “book”, because I am incredibly generous, but what the Hell (get it?) is up with the mother? Is she reading a napkin? Keeping the only moist towelette in Hell out of the hands of human souls? Crying because they’re obviously homeless and live on a sofa and wear burlap sacks?

  157. ArchieNemesis
    September 16th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#149): I eagerly anticipate a Sophie beatdown in Judge Parker.

  158. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rhekarid (#156): I think mommademon has the childdemon’s report card.

    Or should that be childemon? Didactic duo? Help here?

  159. Bootsy
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#66):

    I believe you actually called him “Tusty”.

    You’re welcome.

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#153):

    I hear Wilbur’s niece Honey Weston is nicely stacked — and that’s no baloney. (Mmmm… Honey-baked ham!)

  161. seismic-2
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#153): Being of the Plugger Generation, I distinctly remember Anne Francis (who passed away right around the start of 2011) not only from Honey West but more vividly from Forbidden Planet. If not quite Spencer-esque, she was certainly shapely, enough so that she was quite capable of serving in her role as the movie’s only female character (true to its Shakespearean roots in The Tempest).

  162. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    random thought of the day: most annoying internet music to inflict on coworkers:

    NyanCat or HamsterDance.

  163. commodorejohn
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#161): Hey, Forbidden Planet is a cross-generation classic. Well, at least if you’re a nerd.

  164. Baka Gaijin
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#100): My question is, is it as odoriferous as kimchi? No. Kimchi is smellier. In kimchi’s defense, it doesn’t taste like it smells. It’s rather delightful or maybe that’s just me. A Seoul galbi restaurateur was agape that I, an American, was shoveling it in and asking for more.

    Natto, on the other hand, looks a lot like Cocoa Puffs when you’re in a Tokyo hotel looking at the breakfast buffet through jetlagged eyes. Didn’t make that mistake again. Ooh, what’s worse is that natto STICKS TO YOUR TONGUE! I was AACK!ing like Cathy in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room, plewds flying and all.

  165. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet. But I really got hot when I saw Jeanette Scott fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.

  166. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#165): *snurk*

    I see what you did there.

  167. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#164): “I was AACK!ing like Cathy in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room …”

    That, sir, is one for the ages.

  168. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#163): I’ve never been able to get into Forbidden Planet. My tastes run more to The Thing From Another World, The Day the Earth Stood Still and Them!
    And of course that cinematic classic Incubus. I’m not kidding about that.

  169. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#166): Please, who let this Riff-Raff in here?!

  170. ArchieNemesis
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#147):

    … pancakes, unfulfilled sexual longing, and fists”

    I just realized there are no punch-worthy characters in the current storyline.
    Mark Trail can’t uppercut Mom McQueen, can he? Nor can he throw a hook
    at Mountie McQueen, jab Johnny Mallotte, or launch a cross at Kelly Welly.

    Here’s hoping those pancakes and unfulfilled sexual longing are worth it.
    Or else I’ve wasted some significant time.

  171. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-That can’t be true. What about the times in the Sixties when they would face down the cops in their acts of civil disobedience?

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 16th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Still, I don’t think I could blame a teacher for disliking a student who’s an actual demon from hell

    The fact that you say this just shows how much further we have to go.

    A3G: “Well, since you asked… I’ve forgotten.”

    RMMD: Rex has a button that doesn’t read “Pause”?

    JP: Don’t taunt her, Sophie. Those things might be loaded.

    Luann: Hey Evans, can we not? I’ve seen more of that girl’s restroom than the school janitor.

    FW: Does he realize he’s being scripted by Tom Batiuk? Yeah, but I’m sure he tries not to think about it.

    S-M: Don’t sell yourself short, Peter. You can disappoint anyone.

    GA: “Jerry Sprinkler“? Don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know…

  173. Terrapin
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#161): My dad used to tell me that I was related to Anne Francis. A second cousin or something.

  174. Little Guy
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#148) Luann: Actually, I was wondering just the other day if Greg Evans and Lynn Johnston went out on a date…..

    {Charlie Brown} THAT’S IT!!!!! {Charlie Brown}

    I think you might have hit upon it. Add in “Hey Bot!” as the craptastical audio version of “Stone Soup”, and it all fits. They even have an annoying Shan-non (although I’m afraid of this one’s real-life counterpart).

    Now does that make the kid in the wheelchair that Bwad rescued as the Klepfroths?

  175. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#169):

    Riff Raff doesn’t like you casting aspersions on his character:

    http://www.collectorsquest.com/collectible/1697/underdog-ser-1-riff-raff-1

  176. greghousesgf
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    (throws rice)

  177. Liam
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Six Chix-Ah school in hell, where the books are made from the damned and what we consider acting good is against the rules.

  178. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#174): “Hey Bot!”

    Hey, now wait a minute…

  179. Little Guy
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Edward F. Rochester (#87): First Dondi storyline I remember was he broke his leg sledding at night and running into a tombstone.

    * pause *

    Damn, that’s Older Than Josh.

  180. Little Guy
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#178): Typo Slip! I didn’t mean to associate you with a crappy YouTube song. Now let me get back to Scott Soup, I mean Stone Soup….

  181. Uncle Lumpy
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#179):

    Dondi … broke his leg sledding at night and running into a tombstone.

    I remember that story — it was as though the marketing folks at Dondicorp saw their numbers slipping and concluded their product wasn’t pathetic enough.

  182. AhClem
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    MW – Gina is radiating some powerful stink lines — obviously the result of sitting in a restaurant booth for 3 weeks non-stop with Mary. No wonder the guy in the green shirt looks like he’s on the verge of projectile vomiting.

  183. Jessy
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#116): I totally agree. And it’s even worse when someone recognizes your shoes, asks if it’s you, and strikes up a conversation. And cell phones! I dont think I would call someone when the sounds of flushing toilets and streams of urine hitting the water provided the background noise.

  184. Scott Bot
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#183): True story – last job I worked, the tech support people had mobile headsets so they could get up from their desks to look at demo equipment, etc. I went into the restroom and found one of them standing in front of the urinal, chatting with a customer. All of a sudden he says ‘Well, i can’t look that up for you right now, I have my hands full.’ It took all I could do not to start laughing until after I left the restroom.

  185. AndyL
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Haha, Mark Trail is such an old fashioned, rustic, naturalist he doesn’t even put a collar on his dog. Haha! Whimsical. Seriously though, without a rabies tag, that dog is going to be shot if he so much as scratches someone.

  186. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#149): Even better if it were Honey Badger. After all, Honey Badger don’t give a shit; it just takes what it wants.

  187. cheech wizard
    September 16th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    MT – I was thinking panel 1 was another example of the replicated artwork we’ve come to expect from Mark Trail. Although I can’t remember exactly when they had an episode with Andy’s head on a pike.

  188. TheDiva
    September 16th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#184): That is too funny! I agree, cell phones in the restroom squick me out–who wants to be in the middle of a phone conversation while complete strangers are going about their biological business?

  189. dale
    September 16th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#185):

    The 9/16 Mark Trail is much different from the previous few days. Andy had a collar with two tags. Granny Goose looked at them.

    Also, the fence was more substantial, and so was Andy.

  190. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 16th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#149): I saw some episodes of Honey West when TV Land (and it might have still just been a slate on Nickelodeon instead of a real network) was showing it. I liked what I saw. The young Anne Francis had it goin’ on.

  191. littlestevie
    September 16th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#186): I just thought it would be nice for somebody to kick Sophie’s ass, and Sam and Abbey can’t do a thing to stop it. Be it badger, Anne Francis or Bruce the ocelot.

  192. dale
    September 16th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#181):

    The first Dondi strips I remember were when the thing started.
    He stowed away on a troop ship by hiding in a duffel bag.

    I can remember things from 60 years ago, but that had to be a tiny bit more recent.

  193. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#186): Honey Badger is one fuk’d up somabitch.

  194. Arabella
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    6 Chix: I just noticed the Snuggie product placement in today’s strip. Does one really need them in hell? Is this the asbestos model?

  195. bats :[
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Too bad Honey West is such a “vintage” icon…Honey Badger West would make a great Halloween costume! She probably has a pet cobra instead of an ocelot.

  196. Lenoxus
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Josh, neutered male dogs often retain sexual urges — especially if a nearby female happens to be in heat, but even at other times as well. My neutered doberman used to hump a friend’s spayed border collie. (And, of course, small dogs famously mount inanimate objects, human legs, etc.)

    As for the goose-banding, it’s definitely low on the Evil Scale, but this story did begin with a goose having trouble walking, so I’d call the woman’s actions callous, at least. It’s similar to not cutting out the holes in plastic six-pack containers before discarding them, but much worse because you’re actually going directly to an animal and forcing it to wear something for no good reason. (And anyway a lot of people don’t know about cutting the holes — now you know, folks!)

    Sorry to rant but I dislike animal cruelty as much as or more than or less than you and/or Mark Trail.

  197. endless sky
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#194): Just in time for the holidays! “Order your Snuggie today…you”ll be so toasty, you can almost smell the brimstone!”

  198. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 16th, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#196): I had a neutered female English bulldog who not only humped legs–she once humped a baby. (Seriously: Some friends with a crawling baby were over, and I looked down, and there was Truffles going at it. From behind. The baby.)

  199. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#198): Truffles is one fuk’d up somabitch.

  200. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#198): bb,u, I am going to restrain myself, and just suggest this in response, instead of a couple of clips that I know are out there. (sfw)

    inspired by today’s Frazz, I’ve just finished watching Iron Chef Japan Battle Natto , on youtube. I miss silly TV shows, really I do.

  201. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#183): Has anyone ever asked if you had a square to spare?

  202. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#200): It’s got a great beat, and you can hump to it.

  203. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    I’m also going to say that this concept might not always be true, and wander off trying to look innocent.

  204. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    *sigh*

    I found the one I was thinking about earlier.

    here.

    please reread bb,u’s post at 198 before watching, it’s along the same lines. you have been warned. but iz funneh!!!!!

    *goes off for more wine*

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

  206. Carly
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    But does Mark Trail’s new villainess have facial hair? If so, is Mark going to punch it off? Maybe he could market that as the new alternative to laser treatments.

  207. Joe Blevins
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    (today’s zomby) AND FREE HYPNOSIS!</a href.

  208. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#204): Humppa — Eläkeläiset:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFVW2AA6ID4

    (If you’re hungover, then avoid at all costs!)

  209. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#208): I’m thinking that alcohol is not the intoxicant of choice for that vid.

    it’s got to be 4:20 somewhere.

    just sayin’.

  210. kkarenb
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#46): Re FC – Another sign is that Jeff made a half-assed attempt to change Thel’s hairdo to the current short one. Look at her profile – he didn’t bother to outline it after he changed the hair. And what’s with the wall light? Are those things still around?

  211. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

  212. Caracabe
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    MT: Trying to make sense out of the fence perspective. Either (a) Andy is starting his tunnel a good ten feet or more from the fence, or (b) he’s penned in some Lovecraftian alien dimension, about to be transformed into one of the Hounds of Tindalos (a/k/a “Marmadukes”).

  213. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#204): Oh my goodness. That dog is more determined than most of my adolescent boyfriends.

  214. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#209):

    “it’s got to be 4:20 somewhere.”

    Let’s take the 3:10 to Yuma and split the difference.

    (Glenn Ford vs. Russell Crowe — may the better “Ben Wade” win!)

  215. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#213): *snurk!!!*

    *blows kisses*

  216. seismic-2
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Anne Francis (in her pre-Honey West days) goes for the full Abby Spencer look here!

  217. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#216): Oh man. Those were the days when a “bra” was a “brassiere.”

  218. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#216): This one ain’t too shabby.

  219. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#183): But could you spare a square?!

  220. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#175): That makes Underdog so mad, he’s seeing Magenta … I mean, red!

  221. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#186): You’d better keep that Badger away from Queek!

  222. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @dale (#192): The first Dondi storyline I can remember had him away at camp, where the kids were forced to take cold showers every day. Saltpeter may have also been involved, but I doubt it.

  223. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#208): Many Captains, no Tennille.

  224. Mibbitmaker
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Well, it’s Friday, when I usually do errands, and rip off Jimmy Fallon by doing some

    Thank You Notes

    (Thank You Notes music starts, preceeding each thank you note)

    THANK YOU… LuAnn, for upstaging Margo with your own news. Way to go, LuAnn!……We’ll miss you.
    ….No… no, we won’t.

    THANK YOU… Beetle Bailey’s Chaplain, for pointing out the dark corners of the world: Funky Winkerbean, Reply All, Marvin, and especially 9 Chickweed Lane.

    THANK YOU… Brooke McEldowney, for having your head so far up your lapsed Catholic ass that you can see the ocean. Also, thank you for not showing be-saronged Thorax anymore.

    THANK YOU… Alice Otterloop, for mentioning Marvin in your last panel today.

    THANK YOU… John Belushi, for coming back to life… just to guest star in a silly Dick Tracy storyline. Really, you didn’t even consider hosting Saturday Night Live?! Really?

    THANK YOU… Mikey Patterson, for correcting the image of Canadian dudes left by Cerebus creator Dave Sim.

    THANK YOU… Tom Batiuk, for displaying why you don’t do funny jokes anymore.

    THANK YOU… Darkgate Comics Slurper, for refusing to update Edison Lee ever again. Also, for getting slobber all over the comic strips.

    And finally,
    THANK YOU… Josh, for giving me my second CotW last week. And for not post-jumping this Late Night parody, so people can read this… and my Comment of the Week.
    …Right?
    ………….Right…?

    That’s Thank you Notes for tonight! Thanks you guys. Come on back for MORE! COMICS! CURMUDGEON!

  225. The Gringo Kid
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#219): Sorry, Rocky! Beat me to it!

  226. Andy
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    I think I’d look up from my latte in astonishment too if someone at Starbucks loudly exclaimed that they’d discovered a long-lost love in a box of Krispy Kremes.

  227. Sgt. Stoned
    September 16th, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    MT: Andy start digging…and undercovers the decomposing body of what will turn out to be one of 27 of Mother McQueen’s cult-murder victims.

    BB: Fighting, skirt-chasing, gambling are all traditionally considered vices. But why is General Halftrack playing golf included in the chaplain’s “dark corner”?

  228. DaveyK
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Generally-speaking I would never think to disagree with Josh’s interpretation of the comics. However to suggest that Sgt. McQueen’s Mother’s actions toward Andy to not evil ignores the fact that she has clearly been breeding an unnatural species of blood-thirsty sheep-dog sized squirrels, one of whom is descending from a tree to devour Andy. Dig Andy! Dig for your life!

  229. Sequitur
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#224):

    THANK YOU… Tom Batiuk, for displaying why you don’t do funny jokes anymore.

    Here’s why Batiuk doesn’t tell funny jokes anymore.

  230. Morndew
    September 16th, 2011 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#26):
    Don’t get this one. My kid is in middle school and taking pre-calculus…wouldn’t that count?

  231. Maggie the Cat
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @Laptop Batterie (#231): Oooh, Laptop Batterie! How you woo me with that sexy rheinlander accent of yours!

  232. Elk Meadow
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    The local newspaper had a story about people who lost their dogs when the courts removed them from their care, as the dogs were out attacking livestock (including a pregnant goat), and one set of dogs had been caught and restrained by neighbors over and over again. Of course the owners blamed everyone but themselves, and expect that their friends will get their dogs back for them from the humane society.

    Obviously, the dogs owners must be avid Mark Trail fans.

    On to Saturday’s Mary Worth–I call that Bobby’s team will be traveling to Santa Royale (all the way across the country) for a game next week, and Gina will see him there sometime in November.

  233. Elk Meadow
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    Hey, Rex Morgan, if you and Foster are so against Mabel, then for pete’s sake, don’t take her liver, or she’ll never let either of you forget that that was her liver she shared.

  234. Sequitur
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    What happens when Tom Batiuk tries to be funny.

  235. Westville Oncologist$$$$$
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#143):

    You sure it wasn;t Mark Trail who was nuetered? Would explain a lot.

  236. Droopy Says
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Raining snark? The ‘mudgeons will line up in pairs for this strip! I would love to have seen the meeting where Que Sera told her academic advisor that she wanted to do her master’s thesis on Spiderman. Imagine what a professor of psychology would have said about that lunacy. And MJ can’t figure out why she’s jealous, while her husband stupidly praises the woman who is leading him into the biggest disaster since God told Adam “I set you up on a blind date while you were asleep.”

    Hi & Lois: What’s with all the random bolding? Is Elrod contagious?

    Mock Trail: Come off it, Elrod, Andy is chasing Princess. Love the way that bear licks her lips when she sees Andy. “Mm-mmm! Dinner is served!”

    Family Circus: I don’t see how Thel can kiss anything without all of her lower face.

    Wankershaft: Batiuk sets a new low in carelessness today. The fat old guy in FW talks like Crankshaft, and the old woman in Cranky has Cayla’s words for Les. You’d think Batiuk would try to keep the two strips separate. BTW, if the Scapegoats are so broke, how can they afford plural coaches?

    Pluggers: I’m calling bullshit, because after thirty years Pluggers still need their kids to operate the VCR for them. And they suspect that VCR means Viet Cong Reds.

    Phantom: ¡Santo! ¡Santo! ¡Santo!

  237. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 17th, 2011 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Both Pros and Cons and Shoe are sharing the same Thoreau joke today. This happens more frequently than I would expect. Keeping track of the number of times the same basic joke appears in more than one comic on the same day might be an interesting and informative exercise. Or tedious and pointless.

  238. dale
    September 17th, 2011 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Andy tunneled out and got his collar back.
    Maybe Granny Goose took it away like when they take your belt and shoelaces.

    If his temporary weight loss hadn’t coincided with the temporary flimsiness of the fence, he could have punched his way out.

  239. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 17th, 2011 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    @Andy (#226), @outletcoachfactory (#239):

    I think I’d look up from my latte in astonishment too if someone at Starbucks loudly exclaimed that they’d discovered a long-lost love in a box of Krispy Kremes.

    Not only we get the same Thoreau joke (see Frank Lee Meidere a couple of posts ago), but Andy and outletcoachfactory make an identical joke about Mary Worth. It’s amusin’ but confusin’ as Al Capp’s Li’l Abner always used to say.

  240. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 17th, 2011 at 6:05 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#240): “Not only do we…”

  241. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 17th, 2011 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    Nancy — Sluggo’s a pane in the glass!

  242. But What Do I Know?
    September 17th, 2011 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    MW — “My Bobby is a star athlete–a major player”

    Hold on there, Gina, it’s just soccer. . . Actually, wasn’t he opening up huge holes over in Gil Thorp a few days ago?

    JP — Better hurry up there, Honey. You don’t want to get on Professor Kingsley’s bad side. . .

  243. Liam
    September 17th, 2011 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    MT-Mark has to be the worst type of person around. He teases Rusty with a fishing trip, he doesn’t love his wife the way she needs to be loved, and when his dog runs off he doesn’t chase it after it. Mark only cares about himself and only himself.

    A3G-I want to see Lu Ann give Margo a well deserved closeup look at her engagement ring.

    MW-That’s right Gina, Bobby is a major athlete in a third rate minor league soccer team.

  244. Mole Man Fan
    September 17th, 2011 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    @archikvetch (#152) re: using “Euclid weeps”: No problem, copyright-free.

  245. Doctor Handsome
    September 17th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Andy is confused about why the giant foreground squirrel isn’t bellowing randomly-bolded expository dialogue.

  246. ArchieNemesis
    September 17th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Today’s Marvin was pretty subtle, so I have clarified it for those that didn’t get the joke:
    New and Improved Marvin

  247. Scott Bot
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Archie – Wait a second, didn’t we see this lady on Dick Tracy?

    Luann – Better be careful with that yelling, Tiff – anyone that’s seen Goodfellas knows what happens when you piss Joe Pesci off.

    MT – And the Three Little Bears all said ‘Fuck that porridge crap, we’re eatin’ dog tonight!’

  248. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    HotC: Mr Tatulli is having fun with this arc, we can tell.

    Lio: “are they made with real Girl Scouts?”

    SP: heeeee! I like this!

    GT: that’s it?!? only one panel of bonfire?!?!? RIP!!!

    JP: *le sigh*

    MT: diggin’ to China, brb!

    Mutts: it *is* Caturday, after all.

    PMP: I resemble that remark!

  249. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .an excuse to get tipsy and get it on.

  250. Scott Bot
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#248): ‘Three Little Bears…’ Note to self: drink more coffee before posting first thing in the morning.

  251. MrGuy
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Pluggers 9/16-9/17: Pluggers are paranoiacs who think that they’re actually going to get in serious trouble for fairly innocent acts. Readers are supposed to find this charming rather than disconcerting.

  252. John C Fremont
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT – “Don’t be in such a hurry, Andy. The cubs and I would just love to have you for dinner.”

    MW – A major player? Um, so he’s, like, a pimp or something?

    RMMD – “Confound that Mabel! Oh how I hate her! She drives me to drink!”

    RMMD Sunday – “A runabout. I’LL STEAL IT! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!

    GT – Touchdown? In the land of the delta blues?

  253. Elk Meadow
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#244):

    MW-That’s right Gina, Bobby is a major athlete in a third rate minor league soccer team.

    Outside of Portland, Oregon, who in the USA follows men’s soccer anyway?

  254. Chyron HR
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Baby Blues – What’s the difference between quitting your job to raise the brood of children you voluntarily pooped out, and quitting your job to play Magic: The Gathering on the professional tournament circuit?

    Answer: If you win M:TG tournaments you might actually receive a tangible reward for your investment of time, money and effort.

  255. Elk Meadow
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in the latest comic cross-over, Rat visits Horse: http://news.yahoo.com/comics/dark-side-of-the-horse-slideshow/

  256. Scott Bot
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#253): ‘It’s Rex Morgan – cowardbullycadandthief!’

  257. A Woman of a Certain Age
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Baby Blues: I think this one certainly rings true for every woman who was ever a work-at-home Mom. I can’t count the number of times I was asked to shoulder some responsibility for school or other activities because I didn’t “work.”

  258. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#257):
    “Unhand her, Rex Morgan!”
    “Unhand her, Rex Morgan!”
    “Unhand her, Rex Morgan!”
    “Hey, we’re getting in a rut!”

  259. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    I’m afraid. I’m afraid Josh has been eaten by a giant squirrel. Revenge, Mark Trail-style.

  260. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#256): Irony is our friend (which I say, ironically, without irony).

  261. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    compact SUVs have gone too far.

    for commodorejohn.

    for all the ‘mudgeon moms.

    beachin’ corgsqui.

  262. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: LuAnn is becoming MARGO! (which is unbecoming!)
    Look out, Ms. Magee, there’s a new selfishly huge ego in town!

    Archie: Since when is Jughead that particular? (BOO for smug, cliched spin on eating habits, strip! At least Zippy did the same thing alittle better)

    BBlues: Foghorn Leghorn responds: “Why, those two — I say — those two are like the Contras and the Sandinistas — no good guys!”

    Crank: Note: Hyperbole can awaken a dreaming person. So noted.

    ReFOOB: Labor’s interfering with Annie’s brain, apparently.

    HotC: Groovy!

    JP: ” I should be dating that punk guy from Woody’s other strip! That’d show Mr. Bowtie!”

    Lio: A dead girl scout? Lio being that inhuman about it? Mr. Mike forgive me, but that went alittle too far. Susan licking poison envelopes far.

    Lockhorns: The only conversation in human history with its own exchange rate!

    MW: “I put my head over her mouth in an overdramatic, hammy gesture in response! *GASP!*”

  263. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#262): That “compact SUV” is STILL too large for Mr. Otterloop!

  264. A New Day
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: where wild animals can easily be tamed, but tame animals must always roam free.

  265. Scott Bot
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – I honestly don’t get it. I’m not a Plugger, and I have a number of videotapes I still watch, mostly older movies that aren’t available on DVD (and probably never will be) or some silent stuff I taped that’s too damned expensive to buy on disc. I’m neither proud or ashamed that I watch them, I just do and don’t make a big deal about it.

    If anyone can explain it to me, please feel free.

  266. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Archie – Is this being drawn again? The art seems different from the vintage 80s material they’ve been using lately. Jughead’s expression harkens back to the somewhat more delinquent version of Jug that I remember from the 40s strips.

    Gasoline – The Wallets can’t win! Just when Batman starts having a fight with an arch enemy, the lights go out and they can’t see it.

    Gil – The strip is best enjoyed as a series of completely unconnected and senseless images and strangely evocative snippets of verbiage. Preferably read while in an altered state of mind.

  267. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#264): *applaz*

    nice one!

  268. TheDiva
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    9CL: Monty!God is an Auditor of Reality. In this case, I think the 9 Chickweed Lane universe could benefit from returning to a pure state of quiet planets moving in a delicate celestial dance without all these annoying living characters to muck it up.

    C’shaft: It’s funny because Lucy’s dead now and it’s too late to make amends.

    FW: Bull’s primary purpose as athletic director is to remind The Kids These Days that their dreams of athletic glory are futile, and they will one day wind up fat, bitter, and praying for death like him.

    Marvin is either possessed by demons or caused another diaper to blow up, possibly both.

    MW: And being a successful pro athlete, of course he’s had nothing better to do than pine over a girl he dated for a few months when he was fourteen!

    …It’s Mary Worth. Even I don’t know if I’m being sarcastic or not now.

    Pluggers do not understand the phrase “for private home use only.”

  269. Scott Bot
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#259): ‘Oh, dear rich June Morgan. HOW I LOVE HER…father’s money.’

  270. bad wolf
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Okay, this is the first time i remember two consecutive Pluggers directly contradicting each other. Friday we had “Chances are this is the only law Pluggers have ever deliberately broken,” while Saturday we have “Pluggers still cautiously watch videotapes… and they haven’t been raided by the FBI yet.” Come on, Pluggers! Which is it?

  271. Liam
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    JP-You don’t want to stay after school with the creepy looking teacher Ms. Big Breasted Teenager Who is Probably Not Wearing a Bra.

    Sally Forth-I hate Ralph such a burning passion that I will disapprove of anything he says and does and I secretly pray for his death every day.

    FW-Being slowly eaten away by cancer.

  272. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#269): Pluggers do not understand the phrase “for private home use only.”
    They cower in fear because of the FBI warning! They smirk as they pull the tag off their pillow in a locked room! Most of what pluggers know about the law comes from a friend of their locker partner’s who they talked to at a party this one time.

  273. Liam
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Pluggers-Are living twenty years behind everyone else.

  274. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Hey you. Yeah you. The comments of the week are up.

  275. Donkey Hotey
    September 17th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#31): With a whole family of teachers, how did you escape their (and my) fate?

  276. cooby
    September 17th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Gotta admire Andy. He just keeps on smilin’ even when digging out from a tough situation

  277. MWDG
    September 17th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: what we hope happens

    Gina meets Bobby and then 2 minutes later, Bobby strangles her
    or
    Gina kills Mary in order to get money to visit Bobby… and shows Bobby Mary’s decomposed head that she keeps in a hat box.
    or
    Bobby proposes to Gina over the internet but Gina doesn’t want to give up her job at the diner so breaks up with him
    or
    Mary, Gina and Terry Bryson belong a year long cross country trip full of mayhem and hijinks…the funfest ends in tragedy as Mary is burned alive by some teens high on crack

  278. phillipthenickel
    September 17th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    What I love about this Mary Worth is that everyone in the background is looking at Gina. It gives me this idea that, although she looks calm in the comic, she is actually gasping loudly and flailing her arms wildly as she reads this article. The best part is that, while the two men look concerned, the blond woman back there simply looks amused. That blond woman knows something we don’t.

  279. Cheap Timberland Boots
    September 19th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    You are not required to

  280. above six two
    September 22nd, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    that is anti-demonism. i don’t think i can continue to read this blog

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