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Metapost: Random Gil Thorp-related nonsense

Two random photos for your amusement this evening! First, faithful reader Dingo (in the grey) and his boyfriend (in the black) recreated the now-legendary “Coach Kaz punches out a drunken lout” photo:

“You know someone really loves you when they’ll allow you to pose them to recreate a Gil Thorp panel,” he says, and truer words have never been spoken. Sadly for those of you who actually requested a dark Gail Martin tank top, the one you see in this picture is the result of digital photo-trickery, not the honest heat transfer technology available from CafePress.

Speaking of bizarre expressions of love involving Gil Thorp, among the awesome haul of b-day gifts I got from my wife yesterday were several comic-themed presents, including a Roz Chast collection and book of cartoons rejected by the New Yorker. Surely the most photogenic, though, was this fabulous Gil Thorp t-shirt.

I was going to put a link to the site where you can buy official Gil Thorp merch like this for you and your loved ones, in part as an act of atonement for my profiting off of my own t-shirts, but clicking on the “Merchandise” link on the official Gil Thorp brings you to an error page. Did Amber buy the last one ever?

Update: Apparently not. Buy your own!

237 responses to “Metapost: Random Gil Thorp-related nonsense”

  1. Team MP
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Looks good guys. It’s like the fist completely disappeared. Must be some black hole…

  2. Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    ATTENTION EARTHERS!

    MELKAR BLESS AMBER FOR HER TIRELESS SEARCH FOR A GIL THORP(E) SHIRT!

    END TRANSMISSION!

  3. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Nice.

    Much as I might like to have a Gli Thprquo T-shirt of my own, I must admit I kind of like the idea of Josh owning the last one ever.

  4. Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    AND THE ONE CALLED DINGO! NICE JOB ON THE RE-ENACTMENT OF THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL KAZ ARM REARRANGEMENT! EVEN BETTER THAN THE TYLER WHACKS HIMSELF RECREATION! HAHA!

    END TRANSMISSION!

  5. Rusty
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    That Thorp tee shirt looks like the work of the original artist, who could actually draw. Vintage Milford.

  6. yellojkt
    July 18th, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Now I can put a face with Dingo rather than just picturing Tom of Finland characters.

  7. Red Greenback
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Dingo- even if I didn’t know shit about Gil Thorp, that picture would still be royally funny.

  8. Dub Not Dubya
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    Love the picture, but where are Kaz’s earrings? Did John not want to wear them? Or did they get swallowed up by the black hole that swallowed half of his arm? I’m voting on the latter, as it’s a close approximation of GT physics.

  9. Islamorada Girl
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    For once, I’m speechless. But laughing! Lots of laughing.

  10. Kip W
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Too bad I probably don’t still have the copy of the student newspaper from Rice University in Houston that I remember reading in 1984 (when I worked there), with a letter to the Editor by Gil Thorp, talking about how hard it is to find time away from coaching at “Kidswithproblems High.” Even then, there was a Gil Thorp cult at Rice, and I am indebted to my cousin Andy for telling me about it.

    Rice also had a football team that had to meet academic standards, and thus, always lost. The fans, ever resourceful, found enjoyment in turning bad sportsmanship into an art form. They did stuff like dress one of their own up as an A&M yell leader (their rivalry with A&M was ancient — I found newspaper articles from around 1917 about sneaking into their rival’s offices at night and stealing their mascot) and leading raunchy cheers. The thing I always wanted to see (though not enough to attend a game, I guess) was what the fans did when an opposing team scored against them. They would all shout, in unison,
    Awwww, Shit!
    God DAMN!

  11. Big Sims
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    Question for Dingo’s Boyfirend;
    Former Lineman?
    Former Bouncer?
    Did you have him all the way?
    I love the photo guys!

  12. Canaduck
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Hahaha, nice job, guys. I love the facial expressions!

  13. Slither
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Which one was wearing the black shirt? The two dark-colored tank tops both looked purple to me. And where is the rest of John’s arm? That re-creation was all-too creepily accurate! Nice Photoshop work!

  14. Big Sims
    July 18th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    BOYFRIEND! BOYFRIEND! I meant BOYFRIEND!
    Apologies.

  15. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    Oddly enough, the panel used for Josh’s shirt is from 1969, marking the last time any Milford team won the playdowns.

  16. butcherknifetotin'annie
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    From the birthday thread:

    Stinky Pete, Artist Formerly Known As Ben: Automatic and Razor Totin’ are fine, still mourning the loss of Wolf (1976), Muddy (1983), and especially in my case, Johnny Lee (Hooker) (2001).

    Nobody pointed out that Josh, a nice Jewish boy whose name begins with J, and who has been on a three-four year mission pointing out hypocrisies, stupidities, and foolishnesses, just had his 33rd birthday. And we all know what happened to a nice Jewish boy whose first name started with J who was on a mission, or ministry, of 3-4 years duration, pointing out hypocrisies, stupidities, and foolishnesses, around the time HE turned 33, about 2000 years ago. Josh, be careful; remember what John Lennon sang: “The way things are going, they’re gonna crucify me…”

  17. andreavis
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Dang, now I can hardly wait for my own Gail shirt to arrive– my Photoshop skilz suck, so I’ve got to photograph myself Old School, like with a camera and stuff.

  18. Jamus The Bartender
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    The Gospel According To Jamus
    Book Of Curmudgeonites
    And it came to pass that, in the picture parchment, For Better Or For Worse, the woman, Deanna, was indeed willfully negligent of the children, who, yea, did cause havoc and overturn the picture books, and were posessed by demons.
    In this instance did Deanna spare the rod, and let the children look unto the picture book of family members.
    This caused the Curmudgeonites to cry out in one voice, cursing Deanna, and the foolish father, Michael, who did indeed spend his time with his foolish books, and calling Deanna a stupid bitch, not fit for motherhood, and that if she were real and genuine, would have Social Services called upon her ass. Jamus, the giver of wine, thought she looked pretty good for a mother of two, and would probably lie with her if she’d get a new hairdo.
    Here endeth the lesson.

  19. Frinkenstein
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, really awesome work. Quite funny. But I have to say I haven’t seen that many “wife beater” t-shirts in one place since, well, this afternoon, when I went to the trailer next door and told those guys to turn down the goddamn Skynyrd or at least give me of their Old Milwaukees.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    #16: But don’t tell any of that to the atheist Elmer Gantry over at 9CL today.

    9CL: Hey, Thor’, you don’t mind if I go on believing that your presence, for example, in 9CL, doesn’t disprove McEldowney’s existance, do you? Though, Wileyesque analogy aside, the other way around doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Hey, everybody, Thorax doesn’t exist! 9CL is so much better now.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and see if Mallard Fillmore can never have existed.

  21. Dingo
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Frinkenstein, it’s Illinois in July and it rained four inches last night. It was muggier out there than Paris Hilton’s panties. Be thankful we were wearing the shirts!

    John was a good sport. He had to pose as the hero and the villain. You should have seen the looks that his Boston Terrier and Shi Tzu kept giving us through all that.

    Oh, and if they’re cold, I’ll accept an Old Milwaukee. I’m not proud about beer.

  22. Trotzenbonnie
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Wow, Josh. You got the best birthday presents ever. I really covet your Roz Chast collection. And never did a man look more proud than you to be wearing a Gil Thorp t-shirt. I’m glad you had a happy birthday.

    Dingo! My word! You are a handsome man and those arms look just right for bear hugs! Your boyfriend is a lucky man. And the picture is a hoot and a half.

    Love is…..having your mate indulge your crazy comic strip habit.

  23. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Hey, she really hit a nerve, huh? ……Hey, he really hit a nerve, huh? Score for Wednesday: Unsympathetic character – 1,
    Unsympathetic character – 1. A tie!

    JP: “It’s a secret, Sophie, but I’ll tell you” Good thing mullet-head doesn’t work for the CIA — or, as it’s called in DT, the CIA!!

    PC: Missed opportunity: “i KNOW WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT!”

  24. Andrea D and the Grandstanding Oddlballs
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Dingo,

    That IS a sign of true love. I tried to get my boyfriend to pose for the Tyler Head Smacking contest. I THINK that’s how I put it. Anyway, when I first said that it involved banging his head, he seemed really excited, but when the details of the contest came out, he wasn’t so into it.

    So congrats on finding an excellent, tolerant guy.

    Now, if someone could please re-enact the NEXT panel, in which Kaz cracks his unbearably hairy knuckles and brags about the lout-punching, I will be forever indebted to you.

  25. Andrea D and the Grandstanding Oddlballs
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and Josh, sorry for the delay, but happy birthday! I wanted to say something yesterday, but I lost track of myself.

  26. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t “muggier than Paris Hilton’s panties” like “rarer than Bruce Tinsley’s sobriety” – that is, hyperbole that’s only hypothetical?

  27. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    #21 (second paragraph): Hey, John, I know Dingo made you indulge his comic snarking habit, but don’t beat yourself up over it! Rimshot! Waitress! Veal!

  28. Joel
    July 18th, 2007 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    #27
    Mibbit, your pun made me laugh…And then feel a deep, abiding shame.

  29. jamoche
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    #10 – I can believe the rivalry (pre-1984, the Aggies didn’t win a lot of football so Rice was one of the few schools we could beat – it hadn’t been that long since all students had to be ROTC which is almost as attractive to your average football player as academic standards are – but then we hired a coach who didn’t care so much about NCAA rules) but an Aggie mascot in 1917? Only mascot I know of is Reveille the dog, and the first Rev showed up around WWII.

  30. Mooselet
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    I love that picture – Dingo, your facial expression is priceless! Very well done guys.

  31. Knight9910
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Hi. This is my first comment on the site and I just wanted to say some things, not really related to today’s post.

    First, really funny blog.

    Second, don’t think you’re weird for loving tuna casserole. In my family everyone’s favorite birthday meal is lasagna. It’s not that weird, per se, but I don’t like having that much in common with Garfield.

    Third, it may be odd, but my favorite part of the comics has to be how everyone in the world of TDIET uses a strange variation of English where “et cetera” is not only USED in actual conversation but is in fact the most commonly spoken phrase ever.

    Fourth, I would like to suggest to anyone who likes, doubts the realism of, or has even read Pluggers to find and listen to (or at least read the lyrics of)Alan Jackson’s “Where I Come From.” That’s a very crappy country song that is all about a downhome country boy who travels around the nation being a dick to random people. It corresponds to the strip perfectly.

  32. Dean Booth
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Great pic, Dingo — and a super photoshop job.

    I just took a look at the new GT, and (ignoring the line about the smell never changing) I am in awe of the hand in panel 1. (I didn’t alter this except to magnify it.) Absolutely amazing!

  33. Johnny Cat
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    So much for what I thought would be a great panel lookalike contest. Hands down that is the winner.

    Who knew Gil Thorpe could inspire so much in humankind, considering it’s obvious base in some alien world.

  34. ragthetiger
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    GT: Let me close-caption it for you, Zaphod. It’s a BRAID. Not a ponytail, a braid.

    Great picture Dingo!

    Happy birthday, Josh!

  35. Poteet
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    Excellent work, Dingo. I can feel the violence and terror:-).

  36. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    7/19:

    FW: 1st thought: Well, at least something’s going to work out in one of their plotlines.
    2nd thought: Waitaminnit! So she’s going to be (inadvertantly) rewarded for being a revolting plot device from hell?! AAUUGH!!!

    A3G: Her husband’s still alive, so she fears he’s taken up his cause, and she’ll lose him to… still being alive…too…? Okay, but when does she have an affair with Albert Pinkham Ryder?

    FOOB: Lynn’s back to her pooooopy jooookes! Honestly, that boy’s going to be wearing diapers and flunking speech therapy well into his teens.

    MT: The eyehook is well under way now!

    RMMD: Now there’s spunk even Lou Grant would love!

  37. mumbles
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Good stuff! Now sing ‘Tarzana Nights’!

    You know a strip I never want to see recreated? FOOB. In general, but today’s in particular. A kid crapping himself? Classic. The stink-lines should emanate from the entire strip.

    [Seriously tho if the kid is old enough to scream "Fo-graffs!" yesterday, isn't he old enough to tell his mother he has to go potty?]

    I really hate those kids.

    FW: Ah, the classic ‘sex equals death’ theme. Here’s hoping Jason storms in with a chainsaw for, you know, comedic effect.

  38. Poteet
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    # 37 — I agree with you, mumbles. I hate those kids more all the time. And a few strips ago, Widdoo Wobin was able to scream something like “Dat’s not chocolate! Dat’s DIRT!” Which has a horrible relevance to today’s strip, come to think of it.

  39. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    It’s an extra-special King Features-less Thursday snark!

    A3G: Chill out, Nora. Tim’s “cause” was Packermania. Worst that could happen is Eric could start wearing a cheesehead and going “WOOOO!!! GO PACK!!!” a lot.

    C’Shaft: Seagulls don’t go “cheep,” you moron.

    Curtis: I always get my romantic advice from shoeless crack bums in the alley.

    DT: It’s a real achievement that they’ve managed to assemble a lineup of characters in which Dick Tracy is the most attractive.

    JP: “C’mere and sit on my knee and lemme ‘splain it to ya, little lady!”

    MT: “I’m wearing my Dickies khakis, Sam, as usual. Why do you ask?”

  40. Poteet
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Melkardammit, now I can’t access several comics that are vital to my very existence, like MARY WORTH. Dear God, did I just say that? Time for bed.

  41. Brown-eyed Girl
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    FBOFW. Little A. raised an interesting point yesterthread about the style of drawing matching the tone of the strip. I think this week’s FOOB is a good example of such a mismatch. I’m trying to decide if I would be more forgiving of the situations depicted if the characters and setting weren’t drawn with such an obvious effort to make them uncartoon-like. I probably would still find them lame and boring, but I wouldn’t have wondered why Robin wasn’t talking yet and whether he should be potty-trained by now.

  42. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    FBOFW – All I have to say to Robin is, “Annoying, incoherent and shitty-assed is no way to go through life, son.”

  43. Dr. Laura
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Dingo, hilarious picture. Just awesome. I’ve been pleading for a Gail Martin photo contest to no avail! My sister is coming to visit me this week. She’s blonde, maybe I can convince her to wear some crappy tinted Elton John glasses and hold a piece of rope up to simulate a braid. If I can talk her into it, I’ll post it. (Even as I write this, I can’t believe how ridiculous it sounds!)

  44. Captain Arid
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    Dingo

    You and John have successfully replicated the basic structure of a particular Gil Thorp panel. I congratulate you on your mastery of this skill. Gil Thorp sometimes presents scenes that appear implausible and/or melodramatic. Your image highlights this vulnerability associated with the strip.

  45. HKRandy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    My first post – just wanted to drop in and say hi.

    Just picking up on a thread from the previous post i.e. comics I love.

    One comic that never gets mentioned here is Pooch Cafe – the comic which has me howling out loud with laughter more than any other (usually followed by strange looks from my co-workers). Paul Gilligan has tapped into the inner dog psyche like no other before him. It is by far and away my favourite (to the extent that my morning cup of coffee is drank from a Pooch Cafe mug!)

    I also love GF, PBS and Zits. Old favourites, Far Side, Calvin & Hobbs and Herman.

    FOOB is like a train wreck – I know its awful but I can’t help looking.

    FW and MW I only started reading after finding out about this blog – I can’t say I overly enjoy them – they are more like bad soapies which I can’t help but tune into each day just to see what happens.

    Living in Hong Kong, the comics I read update just after lunch every day – a good way to put a smile on my face before commencing my afternoon’s work.

  46. edgeways
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Gotta say I love the drunken lout redone photo, from the left arm extending beyond the frame, to the disappearing arm to the great Dingo expression. Don’t know if I’d want it on a teeshirt, but a mouse pad definitely.

  47. Sandy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    Dingo’s boyfriend is awesome, man. That’s some seriously committed acting right there.

  48. edgeways
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    additionally, it’s odd the comics I can eventually stop reading and those I can’t. I recently dropped 9cwl even though it’s, generally, got decent artwork (just don’t mention the pervading chinless-ness), and from time to time breaks some taboos (openly gay couple as major characters that don’t disappear after their gayness is evident, priests falling in love…), so I should like it right? Well, lets just say it gets tedious with it’s white bread sameness. Yet I still read Foob and Luann even though I find I have no sympathy for any o the characters. Foob? pssh, should have stopped 5 years ago, Luann? TJ is the most talented person in the strip and he’s a bit of a schmuch. Seriously TJ and the gal Brad lusts after should hook up, he can cook and do carpentry, now there is a catch ladies. Brad? Well he can eat and pick up a ladder for his dad and screw up ever having a girlfriend, plus he is a habitual liar. ayup bachelor material.

  49. jnik
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Funky Cancerdeath;
    Okay, so Lisa finds out on her deathbed not only that her long – lost son is the kid Les hired, but she’s to be a grandmother! THEN the two leaves outside fall as she casts off this mortal (coil? vail? I can’t remember which).

  50. Moon Mullins
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Thurs RMMD:

    Oh, man, we have had such awesome action in the funnies this week. From Kaz punching out the guy in Gil Thorp to Robin steaming his diaper in FBoFW, my pulse has been racing so fast I thought I’d need a defibrillator. But today’s RMMD is the epitome.

    First, Hangover Hugh calling June a “Stupid Twit” as she offers him seltzer (first thought: Red Skelton in clown face pops in — “Did sumbody say Seltzer?” and spritzing him in the face.) Then, June painfully Bonking him on the head with the seltzer package, as Hugh writhes in agony. Priceless.

    Has there been a better Sad Sack character ever in the comics than Hugh? He’s like Tom Cat in Tom and Jerry, always reverting to evil just in time for the next anvil to be dropped on his head. He’s like Sideshow Mel in the Cape Fear Simpsons episode, continually stepping on an endless circle of rakes and being slammed in the face every time.

    What’s next for slapstick Hugh? I’m guessing he falls down the stairs, breaking several ribs, getting up and slipping on spilled wine, thus stumbling and falling into the fireplace, where his butt catches fire and he runs around in a circle going whoa-whoa-whoa trying to put it out, and finally spying a washtub and dunking his rear into it, sighing blissfully as steam rises up around him. But oh no! The washtub contains Heather’s piranha collection!

  51. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    #49 jnik –

    Remember the old Funky Winkerbean strips where the autumn leaves would joke with one another about their imminent death? I imagine them saying, “Fer Chrissake Lisa — get on with it! It took us what, three panels?”

  52. Skulking on the Outskirts
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Wow, I don’t usually have to crank up the siren twice in one week, but here goes:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU…
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU….
    HAPPY BIIIIRRTHDAAAYY, DEEEAARR JOOOOSHH,
    HAAAAPPYYYY BEEEELAAAAATED BIIIIIIRRRTHDAAAAAYYYY TOOOO YOUUUUUUUUU!!

    …..oh, crap, there goes my voice for the rest of the week…..

  53. Skulking on the Outskirts
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    48, Edgeways– “ayup”–you’re from my neck of the woods, aren’t you? (Vermont).

  54. The Avocado Avenger
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Abuse!

    FW: Incest!

    TDIET: Murderous anger!

    I’m lovin’ today’s strips.

  55. Lula Patoot
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    including a Roz Chast

    If Al Scaduto were born in New York, he would be Roz Chast

  56. whoamItoday?
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    42# Trotz–FBOFW – All I have to say to Robin is, “Annoying, incoherent and shitty-assed is no way to go through life, son.”

    I wonder if I can get someone to cross-stitch that as a sampler for my darling baby son’s room?

  57. Little A.
    July 19th, 2007 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    Good morning everybody.

    I may have to walk to work today. I don’t know whether the trains are running.

    Anyway, somebody mentioned Herman. Is it still running someplace?

    In my clippings file of comics of long ago, I have saved the following Herman panel. It’s mostly funny because of the way it’s drawn, of course. Remember what Herman’s wife looks life?

    Herman is sitting in an armchair reading the newspaper and holding an open umbrella over his head.

    His wife is standing in back of him, holding a butterfly net.

    The caption is, Aren’t you going to help me catch the canary?

    Well, I thought it was funny then. I still think it’s funny.

    It’s sort of, intellectually vulgar. No stink lines etc. You have to imagine what might happen. Etc.

    As for FOOB, Lynn must be getting really desperate if she has to resort to doody jokes. As more than one of us has already pointed out.

  58. MonkeyHawk
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:04 am [Reply]

    Chennux –

    Loved your cameo in today’s OBH.

    (Say what you will about the big green lunk, but the guy can act.)

  59. Sheilagh
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Wow, this isn’t the first time I’ve shaken my head over Mike and Deanna’s childrearing practices. She tells the kids that she can’t look at photo albums now because she’s working. They proceed to knock them down off the shelf and make a mess, with no regard to what she JUST SAID. So, instead of turning the little brats upside down and paddling their asses, she caves and shows them the photos.

    These kids are going to be Just Charming as teenagers. And whose fault is that?

    And Mary Worth? Hoo boy, I did NOT call that one. “It’s a date!” cries Dawn chirpily. Um, no it’s not, I thought to myself. I mean, okay, yes, in the “I’ve pencilled it in” sense, but it’s not a “date” date, which is how I read Dawn’s reaction. Today, whoops, surprise! It IS a “date” date. Tablecloths? Glasses of wine? To talk about Dawn’s career plans? Is he gonna pick up the tab, too? which she totally should not allow, since he’s ostensibly doing HER a favor by letting her pick his brain?

    I’m telling you, the whole social and relationship aspect of comics is on a different planet than this one.

  60. Trilobite
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    In the absence of sleep, there’s always Thursday’s comics:

    Dick Tracy: I think all the complaints about how this comic over-explains idiotic things like the doorknob/diamond switch in the previous story must’ve really gotten to ‘em, because now they’re not explaining anything. All we get are tight close-ups on various squinty blockheads exclaiming brief and utterly cryptic dialogue: it’s like some kind of dadaist art film, only without the funny hats.

    Funky Winkerbean: Only Batiuk could manage to turn a story about two teens gettin’ it on into an occasion for despair. I’d say that he should teach the “abstinence” part of sex ed, except I don’t know whether the kids will really relate to his “if you have sex, you will never find your birthmother, and also she’ll die of cancer” message.

    Mary Worth: Few things are more challenging than trying to determine what people in Mary Worth are eating. Today’s lunch seems to be sticks of butter, with a side dish of donuts. No wonder both Drew and Dawn have such oily hair!

    Rex Morgan: God damn it, now June’s dressed. Looks like our dreams of Heather and June lounging around all day in tantalizingly loose robes are shattered forever.

  61. smacky
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkersex. Someone remind me, how is this incest? A crime against nature, I can see, but I’m not up on her relationship to Lisa and Les(s).

  62. Anna
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    Hey, did anyone else look at the other designs on the Gil Thorp t-shirt page that Josh linked? Go to the bottom and choose Maroon or Head… perplexing designs to say the least. Are you supposed to get a sharpie and fill in the thought bubble yourself?

  63. Ed Power, writer of My Cage
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    Hey all,

    WAAAYYYYY off topic:

    Does anyone remember a spoof of Star Wars that was done with the Peanuts characters? I think it was by Cracked Magazine. Does anyone else remember this, or am I high?

    I’ve googled eveything I can think of, but can’t find it. I would love to see it again (y’know…provided it isn’t a psychotic delusion).

    -Ed

  64. smacky
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT: Wow, we haven’t seen, um, is it Paul? since he lopped off his own leg with a chainsaw! That was back during football season, and “The Mystery of Why Your Mom Hates Me!” (The answer? Boy’s dad dated and dumped girl’s mom back in the day. Ohhh, drama!). That story line also gave us the immortal “She all but forces him to go to the Bucket!”

    Oh, and of course that led to the exploding car and the “taking credit for saving a life to impress your girlfriend’s mom” plot.

    Man, I’ve gotta order one of those Thorp shirts!

  65. smacky
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Most boring phone sex EVER. Though you knew it would have to be hot nature talk to get Mark going.

  66. audient
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    OK, I’m going off topic. But here is a story that ran in today’s Cleveland Plain Dealer about Lisa’s cancer in Funky Winkerbean — interview with Tom Batiuk.

    http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/07/funky_winkerbeans_tom_batiuk_d.html

  67. athena
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    In the first panel of Mary Worth, is Dr. Drew tucking his napkin into his shirt? Surely he’s not that messy an eater…

  68. dreadedcandiru2
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    FOOB: What kills me is that it takes her five seconds to register that Robin has indeed taken a dump when his hindquarters are positioned in such a fashion in relation to her face as to make that manifest. Worse still, she’s carying Crown Prince PoopyPants off to the little short-bus-seat-warmer’s room in such a fashion as to spread, not contain, his droppings.

  69. criminallyinane
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    Anna: I did indeed check out the different designs. “Head” might be the most disturbing thing a person could possibly wear over their torso.

  70. Squawk
    July 19th, 2007 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    If Al Scaduto were born in New York, he would be Roz Chast

    Um, no, because Roz Chast is talented and funny, and Al Scaduto is not.

  71. Islamorada Girl
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    I can’t read Death to Gil Thorp without a faint, Proustian memory of the smell of high school misery. The essence of old sweat, hormones and unwashed gym clothes just hangs over the whole strip. No matter what’s going on, it reeks on every level.

  72. stinky pete
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    This tribute to Doug Marlette, by the syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker, appeared in my local paper today, although it was apparently written last Friday.

  73. John C Fremont
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    Love the photo, Dingo! Your reaction is definitely the funniest part.

    A3G – Uh oh, Nora’s leaking.

    Foob – I’m just going to focus my anger on Dee for awhile. Gad, I hate her.

    MW – I think we need someone else to do the coloring. That wine looks like the same Kool Ade crap Wilbur was serving. Okay, it’s Charterstone, so make that Flavor Ade.

    Mutts – Adorable!

    RMMD – Hugh is about to get the best beating of his life.

    FW – Oh, yeah. We’re gonna get some hot teenage, non-cancerous action. I guess that would make it benign.

    JP – Sophie, take the fishnet stockings off your arms and get away from that Parisian street punk!

  74. Little A.
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    MW: look in the corner of the first panel of today’s strip! Is that — Gail Martin having lunch back there? Is it?

  75. TheMagicMel
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    In today’s Funky, in the second panel he’s totally looking at the audience like “I’m about to f*ck me dis beatch right herrr.” (STL slang with your morning coffee, enjoy.)

  76. True Fable
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    RMMD Hugh will get no nudie Xmas card from either June OR Rex this year.
    MT Reckon we’ll be seeing some Fists O’ Justice by next week?
    MW Reckon we’ll see the Horny Lioness pounce on her chosen mate by next week?
    JP “If you increase production, won’t quality diminish?” Ordinarily yes, Sophie, but this isn’t For Better or For Worse.
    FBoFarWorse I am convinced Robin is developmentally challenged but Lynn is still touting him to be just an adorable moppet. This strip no longer earns simply my groan of disgust. I admit that I take a sincere, hearty and extremely malicious glee in seeing these pathetic wretches who are SUPPOSED to symbolize healthy, loving, typical people act like such dense, irresponsible, clueless pinheads.
    FC Why are you laying stretched out on the kitchen table, Dolly? Gramma’s trying to drink her coffee and gin, dear; don’t fuck with me right now.

  77. man behind the curtain
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Well we all knew that June packed those fists of fury but a first round knockout? Now that’s something. And with Hugh out of the way, she can have heather all to herself. And when Hugh said hand it over, was he really referring just to the seltzer?

    MW — Keep plying her with alcohol Dr. Drew. And have a little more for yourself. At some point, you’ll realize that since she won’t take “no” for an answer you may as well enjoy yourelf. Then send her over to your friends. And by the way, I thoguht Dawn said she was 20 which i guess is one year shy of getting served. of course, the Charterstone pool party aged her rapidly.

  78. willethompson
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Hey, Mr. Breck Girl! Never, EVER, call a Patrick Nagel seriograph a stupid twit!

    JP: Someone snarked yesterday (Stinky Pete? Monkeyhawk?) that Sophie should end up in a cask of Amontillado. To which I can only add, “For the love of God, Montresor!” which she will try to email from her laptop but find that most stone walled cells have terrible wifi coverage.

    A3G: If this leads to Eric somehow being part of a ‘Free Tibet’ storyline, I will hurl like a firehose. Evidently, Eric forgot Armand Hammer’s First Law of Art Collection, which is to befriend the local despotic government who can steal the good stuff from the peasantry for a well-placed bribe.

    (DT)GT: Prior to computers, I used to actually DRAW things for a living. There comes a point with every piece of art, commercial or otherwise, that you look at it and say, “That’s it – we’re done here.” Which makes me wonder what goes thru the GT artist’s head when he looks from his drawing board. I’m guessing it’s “I’m drinking Old Milwaukee? When the hell did I run out of Schlitz?”

  79. Klipper
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    (dt)gt: The arm vortex has expanded such that Sean Pettibones tricep has absorbed his “friends” forearm.

    FW: If someone looked at me the way Darrin looks in the second panel, I would not assume “sex”. I would immediately begin to look for Foob-ish stink lines from the diaper area.

    Garfield: I’m sorry but I think it’s kinda cute today.

  80. John
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Rice football – I was there from 85 -89, about the time the Southwest Conference scandals broke. We would shake our car keys at the other team and chant, “Come play for us!”

    FW – Are the incest half-twins finally going to get it on, or will they be interrupted by another plot device or twinge of conscience?

  81. Dr. Mad
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Belated Happy Birthday Josh! Great presents! Don’t let the JC references get to you, but all the same avoid being kissed by suddenly wealthy, red-headed male ‘friends’ if you know what I mean. Oh, and watch out for the Romans [always a good plan anyway] Can someone please tell me what is on Dawn’s head In MW? The closest I can come is a Ruth Buzzi-style hairnet or an old-fashioned swim cap made from, of -I don’t know – haggis or liver -maybe it’s a caul. Whatever it is, it seriously icks me out,almost as bad as Dr. Drew’s narsty grey sheets. Great recreation of the (DT)GT punch-up, Dingo -out of technical curiosity, what had to happen with the arm to get it to disappear like that? #29 Jamoche- What d’ ya know – Aggies can post!? -Just goofin’ on ya -Say Hidie to your Mama, and ‘em.

  82. jules
    July 19th, 2007 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Happy Belated Birthday, Josh! Nice shirt!

    In FW-related news…please, please tell me they’re not going to Do It. And he’s going to get her pregnant and dump her, and she’ll give the baby up for adoption, and the Circle of Life According to Batiuk rolls on.

    Eeeeewww.

  83. Anonymous
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Happy B-day – yada, yada, yada.

    Blondie – I actually laughed at this today – I thought I was the only one who wanted to get into Blondie’s pants.

    FBoFW – How old is little Robin now – nine?

    MT – More pillow talk? Rock and Doris have nothin’ on these two.

    MW – Congress of the cow, perhaps Dawn?

    RMMD – Typo in panel one – stupid tw*t. I like the bonkin’ in panel three – oops – premature ejaculation.

    Luann – Looks like your latter fell down dad – well OK, but your trousers, too?

    FC – Why do they call this your golden years, Grandma, when you’re stuck forever in this crappy strip? Even death could not free Grandpa. Your life sucks – are you a Plugger?

  84. jules
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Can’t believe I forgot to say: Dingo, VERY nice Gil Thorp recreation! And your lucky boyfriend gets to play both Kaz and the Drunken Lout. (Who apparently is “The One.”)

  85. Motorposus
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Rejected Chast cartoons? I’m so intrigued! What’s the collection called?

    Awesome picture, Dingo! Your boyfriend is espeically cooperative to pose for two roles. He’s a keeper.

  86. Motorposus
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    …and he’s also especially cooperative.

  87. SatanicMechanic
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    #31 Knight9910

    TDIET uses ECT when the dude who draws it (who is that adain? Scaduto, riiight) looses interest in thinking up stuff for his characters to say, or can’t think up what the next line should be, i.e. like in that recent one:

    “Don’t speed! keep your eyes on the road! don’t fool around with the radio knobs etc etc”

    He couldn’t think up anymore things that your not supposed to do.

    Also: Coolest pic ever!! Dang, I should really get into this. There should be a “Seltzer box and Hugh Avery” photo contest though, for sure!

  88. ohyes
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    A3G – To steal a line from a recent New Yorker cartoon – That tear-drop tattoo on Nora’s face means she killed a woman in prison.

  89. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Haha! Poop is funny!

  90. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    #83: Is a “latter” like a ladder that exists in a space-time continuum just ahead of our own?

  91. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    7/19

    Marvin: As someone else has noted (lost the citation) Marvin is just reminding us that they’ve been doing tired diaper jokes for a quarter century. This gimmick might work better in Gasoline Alley. “In 1919, most of Europe was still rubble and Spanish flu raged across three continents!”

    Speaking of GA: Slim meets the angel of his better nature. Then throttles it and leaves it for dead in a trashcan. Nice visual in an egregious plot.

    Phantom: Without sarcasm, I want to send a kudos to Paul Ryan for today’s art. The handsome stooge’s pissed-off-ness really comes through in the silent panel. What Graham Nolan is to busty beardwives, Ryan is to belittled criminals.

    RMMD: Hugh doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.

    Archie: How did Moose lose 100 pounds between panels? It’s freaking me out!

    A3G: Was Tim’s cause diddling Margo and then not calling? That would explain why he’s hiding out in Tibet.

    Cranky: Stealing comic material from Lil’ Dolly Keane? Are you trying to get sent to the nursing home?

    GT: Kaz is working out with the drunk Gail Martin fan he tossed out last night. I mean, that guy was probably supposed to be white, and this one probably isn’t. But welcome to Milford.

    H&J: Herb has way too much time on his hands. This restaurant is doomed.

    MW: Look! The waiter’s got mom jeans too. Maybe Drew worked his way through correspondence med school here.

    MC: Halle Berry probably does attend comics conventions, in a promotional capacity. She has been in three comics-derived movies. Although she must need to down a lot of Seconal to talk about “Catwoman.”

    FC: “No, seriosly, Grandma. You’re really, really, grotesquely old!!”

  92. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    FW: Haha! Incest is funny!

  93. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Blondie – Dagwood is being fashion aware – Capri pants

  94. Fightin Vague Shape
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn, perhaps you could learn that when your date takes you to a place that serves blood in a glass, you should get away while you can.

  95. Chupper
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Dingo, you look like my German professor from college, and I’m scared.

  96. Kip W
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    #42 (Trotzenbonnie) – Amen to that!

  97. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Boxcar – Saturn – Margo !

    Aunt Fritzi in a wet t-shirt, but they don’t show enough! Nancy

  98. ohyes
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Drew usually is very direct, “That’s DOCTOR Drew.” “You’re a challenge (i.e., I’ve dared myself to score with you).”

    But I can understand that he’s a bit elliptical when he broaches on the first date the possibility that Dawn might like to hook up with his friends too, to, you know, party. But Dawn’s open to it! What a learning experience Drew will be!

  99. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    A3G – She’s afraid he might be alive. Seriously, could you at least pretend to grieve? I’m still hoping for the revelation that he’s been captured by Mi-Go, though.

    Archie – The “hee hee ha ha” balloon scares me.

    Blondie – ow my eyes

    Curtis – Curtis asks a housewife, a pizzeria owner, and a hobo for dating advice.

    DT – Nobody’s harmless when they need their Gretchen.

    FOOB – “Because your Grandma and Grandpa didn’t want her.” And I’ll admit that I’m not up on my Marvin, but I don’t think you typically indicate a dirty diaper with smoke wisps. Geez, Robin is almost three? I was toilet-trained by then. And talking in more than repeated phrases. Do Canadians just develop slower, or what? And then there’s the heavy foreshadowing of the timestop strips to come…I hate FOOB. I HATE FOOB.

    FW – Why do we keep having to look at this guy and his increasingly penis-like nose? Look at panel two there! Eugh!

    GT – Wait wait wait wait wait! What about Gail? Who cares about China Doll Face here? And is that dude missing a leg? Go back to 80s Frankenstein and Gail, darnit!

    JP – I love panel three. Out of context, it looks like Sophie has come from the mob headquarters to “talk” about “global warming.”

    MF – What week is this? Nobody cares about pro wrestling anymore besides wrestling fans.

    MW – I miss Dawn’s thought balloons. “I’m sure I can still learn a great deal from you as well! …in the bedroom!

    RMMD – Random acts of seltzer violence!

    Edison Lee – does not want you to eat meat, despite the fact that humans are and have always been omnivores and a quick look at women who are vegetarians can confirm that meat is good for you.

  100. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Dingo – that photo(shop) is fantastic.

    Glad you had a good BDay, King Curmudgeon!

  101. Poteet
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    # 51 — BWAHAHA! Uncle Lumpy, I think that’s a COTW contender.

  102. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Geez Dingo, I had the impression that you and yours looked like thisand this .

    (It could have been worse, thisand this ).

  103. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    #99 – I hope Soph takes down the evil lawyer with her blabbermouth and her knowledge.

    She annoys me a bit with her jabbering, but I do relate to her concern.

    RM – June, just flip ‘im over the bannister!

    FOOB – Dee, just flip ‘im over the bannister!

    DtM – so D-Man thinks he’s Tony to Henry’s Christopher. Maybe the menacing streak is returning.

    FW – eeeeewwww teenage sex eeeeew

    MW – I think Dr. Drew spiked Dawn’s wine – her expression is truly El Wacko.
    Nice of the restaurant to serve orange glop, mashed taters, and peas, Mary-style. This “meal” must constitute some kind of foreplay in Santa Royale.

  104. stinky pete
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Dingo, a great picture. I haven’t seen action & excitement like that since the playdowns of ought-five, when Kenora beat Guelph in the last minute by trotting out the old “LeBeauchamp maneuver” from Coach Guy “Sparky” Archambeault’s dog-eared playbook… but I digress.

  105. Dingo
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Oy vey, MHBH! A choice between Richard Chamberlain and Noel Coward or Dick Sargent and Raymond Burr? What a combination!

    John’s from Monterrey, Mexico and I’m from hardy Midwestern stock with Germanic roots (yep, GERMAN and I’ve taught college BWAH-HA-HA-HA but in multimedia).

    Dr. Mad, I’m surprised to be able to say this but I believe the person who drew that Gil Thorp may have actually used a model for the pose we all find so funny. I didn’t mask out any portion of John’s arm. I had him pose with his arm at a 45² angle facing the cellphone (yes, cellphone. Gotta love how far technology has come). When I put the three photos together (me alone, John forward with background and John backward), his arm virtually disappeared just like in the comic.

    Who knew that GT would be correct.

  106. Mack
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    66 – Oh my God, that article makes me dislike Batiuk even MORE.

    “I honestly don’t think readers know what they want,” he said, tossing over an inch-thick sheaf of papers — e-mails from readers telling him not to kill Lisa. “They think they know what they want. But what they really want is for me to give them a surprise every now and then.”

    Jeepers, Batiuk, thanks for letting me know that what I REALLY want is to watch a lingering, agonizing death in my funny pages! I had no idea! Plus, he is from the town that I am in RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT, and that horrifies me.

    In related news, I can see from the Crank’s daughter’s expression that even she is stunned by the lameness of today’s pun.

  107. Perky Bird
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FOOB–
    OK, I have to throw in my two cents worth. First, judging by the repeated “M-m-m-m!” of Widdle Wobin, he must be straining pretty dang hard to produce that steamer of a poopie! Perhaps Dee should give him more fiber before he bursts a blood vessle there.
    Second, doesn’t Meridith understand that kids aren’t all born at once? I mean, Robin is younger than her, and that doesn’t bother her. Yet when told April wasn’t born when the pictures were taken, she asks, “How come?” What kid would ask that? More proof that there’s too much lead in the water there in Canada.
    Lastly, I originally thought those were stink lines coming from Robin’s butt, but upon closer examiniation, they’re more like smoke trails. Obviously, in addition to sticking tacks in his mouth, the child has taken to sticking lit birthday candles up his ass.

  108. T. Chicana
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    MW: Umm, Dr. Drew? Dawn never wanted advice about medical research in the first place, you jack-ass! And P.S., your dad has taken a job at the Hearts of Palm just to lay low and get away from Mary. He knows that she sticks to the Bum Boat for her dinners out.
    They also serve glasses of blood here, though, so you may not be as safe you think you are, Dr. Jeff!

    FW: EWW ew ew ew ew! EW! The blonde kids are going to have the s.e.x. Please, nooooo! We have to watch. Just like Julia at the Foob wedding. We. Have. To. Watch.

  109. Katherine
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Ha ha, Hugh can’t even say “twat” correctly!

    MW: Is something wrong with Dawn’s neck? Why is her head always at that wierd angle?

    JP: That last panel looks very, very wrong. It’s creeping me out.

  110. Poteet
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    # 68 — Dreaded, I’ve been trying to think of a better name for Widdoo Wobin, and to my way of thinking, Crown Prince PoopyPants nails it. I’m gonna steal. Thank you.

  111. Katherine
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    UGH! I just went to look at the ComicsPage store, and apparently you can also get Pluggers t-shirts! Who? W..w..why? And in particular, the “aerobics” one…oof, it makes my brain hurt! (and my stomach too, for that matter).

    http://www.99dogs.com/a:3SN-JQH/comicspage/pluggers.html

  112. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    #107 – I thought the tacks would’ve helped, but then again you never know.

  113. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #107, again – Someone must have given them the ol’ Cabbage Patch routine at some point. Probably Dee’s Mom. I was gointo say maybe Lovey, but she was too smart (notice how invisible she is now, the only fairly sage character in the strip next to Shannon the Soapbox and Apehead.)

    Noticing Invisibility…can I say that? : P

  114. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MUTTS – I love it! If everyone had a little pink gym sock in their lives, there would never be a harsh word spoken on earth again.

    #79 – WILLE!
    ‘There comes a point with every piece of art, commercial or otherwise, that you look at it and say, “That’s it – we’re done here.”
    …and then comes the moment after you send it to print when you say “Oh shit! I should have…why didn’t I…”

  115. Professor Fate
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    FW: It looks like the possiblity of sex is making the guy’s head swell up -I think Batiuk has forgotten where the blood actually goes.

    And in Re of his comments Batiuk, it’s not that you are killing of Lisa – In Doonesberry several characters have died and hell even the damn Gumps in the frecking 1930′s killed off a character – what they object to is your ham handed pile on the cliches manner of doing it – there is no suprise here there is simply bad plotting, clunky melodrama and a wallow in bathos that Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (he of “it was a dark and stormy night”) would consider excessive.

    You’re putting out hackwork Batiuk and the readers are calling you on it – just have a damn metor hit the town and kill everybody and go order pizza.

    FOOB: The strip hits bottom and then starts digging – the kid’s 3 and doesn’t talk in sentances? and isn’t toilet trained? hey guys – somethings not right – oh i understand the spawn of M must be perfect. okay carry on.

  116. Gabe
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Smacky: There’s not any actual incest (unless their’s a retcon), but they do look an awful lot alike, you know? And being Funky Cancerdeath, it just seems like some kind of plot Batiuk would do.

    Incest with CANCER.

  117. Herro!
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I’m quite sure it’s been said many times, but…OH MY GOD IS THAT KID STILL S**TTING HIMSELF AT THREE?! Little turd (no pun intended) has GOT to be developmentally delayed…or maybe just a brat.

  118. Red Greenback
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    57 Little A- I loves me some Herman. A few years ago, I clipped one out of the LA Times (still runs “Herman”, btw). Anyhoo, the panel shows a guy wearing a blank sandwich board proudly stating to another dude on a streetcorner; “I finally got a day off”

  119. Jorge2090
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Since Batiuk does both FW and Crankshaft, why doesn’t he kill off that old bastard instead of Lisa? Death to the Shaft!

  120. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    #66 audient – Funky Winkerbean: the world’s first snuff comic.

  121. Tweeks_Coffee
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    7/19

    Archie: Where the heck is Archie coming from? He’s walking towards us, but all that’s back there is a wall. I do like how it looks like they just stopped holding hands because they got caught in the first panel.

    FC: Judging by the kids’ normal heights, I’d say Dolly is laying completely on the table.

    FW: I’ve never seen anything less attractive than Darrin’s face, or whole head for that matter, in the second panel.

    GA: Ah, I see Slim went for the Buy It Now option rather than risk a sniper out bidding him. That’s good thinking, you really wouldn’t want one of those super-villains stealing your meteorite away from you.

    (DT)GT: Looks Gil picked up some fashion tips from Clambake. Particularly the backwards inside-out shirt.

    H&L: There isn’t a punchline here, right? I’m pretty sure nobody’s said “Radical” within the last decade either.

    MT: This the closest Mark’s ever gotten to intimacy.

    SFx: Geez, Weber really needs to stop with the suggestive placement of things. I really hate to think what that rabbit’s ear is blocking.

    TDIET: Holy crap, I think that’s the most violent urge I’ve seen. This is far more extreme than the typical “Deep sleep them to the moon”.

  122. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    #120 – Snort! COTW Nom.

    You all are really snarkin’ it up today.

    #117 – I’ve heard and noticed that boyz often crap in their pants/diapers a little longer (developmentally speaking) than girls.
    However, Wobin is a bit latent. Maybe he’s pissed (!) because he was named after Batman’s sidekicky
    Sidekick?

  123. Nina
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Dingo, Is John a doctor?

  124. Big Stu
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    TDIET- If you look at her left hand, it appears as though she’s preparing some sort of kung fu grip to, in fact, rip out the bore’s larnyx. If only this strip had “To Be Continued” storylines! Then we could witness assorted beat-downs in the funnypages on a regular basis, as the “urge” becomes reality. For now, me must rely on sporadic violent outbursts from Mark Trail and Gil Thorp for our quota.

    Speaking of the urge to tear out a larnyx.. if the present FOOB storyline with Deanna Stepford and the little ritalin monkeys is a precursor to the strip’s future… well, in the words of the immortal Linus Van Pelt, “Ugh!”

    Seriously, I’d rather see weeks’ worth of stories about Lizzie and Granthony making out than one more strip featuring the Michael Patterson household. Michael and Deanna are easily the most insipid characters working in the comics today.

  125. GotFuzzy
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Dingo–great picture! And your “making of” commentary is very inciteful. I share your amazement that any image in (DT)GT is a faithful representation of anything that happens in real life. Your BF is a quite a catch to play along with this Curmudgeon-related silliness. I have not even tried to explain any of this to my Lovely Husband. I just let him wonder when I giggle upon seeing a sign that says “Roadside Veggies 1 Mi. Ahead.”

    And look at our happy birthday boy! Also quite a catch is your Amber.

    Crankshaft: Today’s is a nice companion piece to last Friday’s lame setup/lamer animal-related pun. Maybe Batty-ick can collect these into a picture book to help kids learn the alphabet and the futility of life at the same time. “C is for cows–they eat and shit and then are killed for meat.”

    (DT)GT: Hey look! Gil is wearing Clambake’s shirt! They must be BFF if they are trading clothes.

    FOOB: I wondered what was going to cause the most FOOB-related anger here, having to choose among Dee indulging the Hateful Spawn instead of banishing them to their rooms (where Wobbin would just find something else to harm himself with), Mewwie’s willful cluelessness or Wobbin’s straining to poop his pants. I know I can’t pick the one that makes my blood boil more.

    Blondie: I can get that Dag would accept that the cleaners would shrink his pants, but why on earth would he think that they would aslo reconstruct them?

    GF: I know it’s a rerun, but the second panel just pleases me on so many levels.

  126. PeteMoss
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Dingo!!
    That photo is
    A W E S O M E ! ! !
    It’s Dali surreal. John is punching into the abyss that is his own existence!!! Mindblowing. Do some more, please.

    Josh.

    You won’t believe this. Earlier this week I was shopping for a Gil Thorp(e) t-shirt for a Gil Thorp fan who is also a big baseball fan. He’s got a birthday coming up, too. Cafe Press was letting me down. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the link. May many Tuna Casaroles be in your future.

  127. andreavis
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    #78 willie: To quote Leonardo da Vinci: Art is never finished, only abandoned. In (DT)GT’s case, it should just start off with being abandoned. A blank page would be more comprehensible.

  128. TeacherPatti
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    FOOB: And by “because mothers can only handle so much stress at a time”, Dee means “because Elly figured she was going through the ‘change’, let John stop pulling out and ended up with a big ol’, mid-life OOPS”.

  129. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    A brief commentin’ on comments posting:

    audient @ 66: I had read before, but had forgotten, that Asshatiuk planned to leap the strip’s timeline forward another 10 years after Lisa’s death. Which means that after he drags us through this horrible, maudlin crap for months, he plans to leapfrog any nasty gloomy repercussions and lead us into another Era of Good Feelings (or at least smirky ones), when everyone will have already moved on. Maybe Les will already be remarried! Way to trivialize your own character’s demise, Asshatiuk.

    willethompson @ 78: That was my “Cask of Amontillado” comment. By the way, you, sir, get a COTW nomination for your (DT)GT comment.

  130. PeteMoss
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Do they it on any opportunity- (TDIET)

    I’m sure this has already been mentioned but – Geez, Scaduto is getting kinda violent, isn’t he?

  131. Laura c
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    After the comics we love/hate discussion yesterday I checked out “Mutts” and was immediately taken by “little pink gym sock.” Thanks to everybody for bringing it to my attention.

    RMMD: If this was a tv show, the next image would be them making out. Alas…

  132. Quäsenbo Pan
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Love the picture, Dingo. You two make a hot couple (threesome?)
    (Umm…that was a reference to the photoshopped cloning of your boyfriend, not a proposition.)
    And belated happy birthday, Josh! Damn, yet another talented, urbane, successful man who I look up to and who is younger than me. I need to get to work now…

  133. ohyes
    July 19th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Dingo – 105 – That’s a wonderful photo, Dingo, with great acting . And you did it with a cameraphone? Well done.

  134. ohyes
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Josh – You look very happy on your birthday. It’s not just the new T-shirt, although it does show incredible thoughtfulness of Amber to identify and obtain the perfect gift. I guess you’re also rejoicing in your good fortune in marriage, and that the tuna casserole was scrumptious.

  135. Herro!
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Oh, also: today on the Beltway, stuck in traffic, I was distracted by a truck in the next lane that said http://www.pattersondental.com. (Interestingly enough, I was taking my cats to the vet for dental work.) I whipped out my cell phone to take a picture, but then I realized my cell phone doesn’t have a camera.

    Oh, crap, I’m a Plugger!

  136. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Linus had a blanket, the cat from ‘Mutts’ has a little pink sock. What sort of totems would some of our other friends from the comics carry around with them?

    Elly from Foob: A gunnysack full of leg hair?

    Crankshaft: A frayed and soiled pair of Depends?

    Vera: Von’s left testical?

    Les from FW: The “Singles” column from the Westview City Paper?

  137. Dennis Jimenez
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Little Robin – a pants load of doody.

  138. dreadedcandiru2
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Zits: Hahaha! Would you like to supersize phoning your ‘jokes’ in?

    FBoFW Coffee Talk: Someone (ME!) posted three e-mails yesterday on how it’d be a good idea if Deanna were to, I dunno, WATCH her children. Today I look and there are two advocating letting children kill themselves in the name of freedom of expression. Weird, eh?

  139. MossMoses
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    The saintly Michael’s saintly male spawn must lay fragrant blue scat (Robin’s egg).

    Could the Taliban be establishing a sanctuary in Lost Forest? People lie in bed fully clothed, Mark Trail still in his ridiculous Dickeys UPS outfit. The Lost Forest vice police strictly enforces that religious edict. Now, for the fatwa on the infidel Buzzard…

  140. Dr. Mad
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Dingo, thanks for the info, maybe what we see is what he’s got -and GT’s illustrator can only afford butt-ugly, oddly-shaped models. Like the ones we had in my mercifully brief stint in life-drawing class [just a minute, I started spasming] I wasn’t going to comment on FOOB ever again, but this is in defense of small children everywhere. Some kids are not fully toilet trained until 5 or so -it all depends. The slowest are often those who are undergoing some life-crisis [move, new sibling, etc.] or who are precocious in language/math skills [that lets out Robin*]. It helps little boys if their dad’s will let them in the bathroom with them -but considering it’s the Archangel Michael… oh gawd, let’s don’t even go there. What really bugs me is that there isn’t a Mom of a toddler alive who doesn’t know that sudden stillness and grunting noises mean a full diaper. So why is Dee just sitting there while the kid takes a huge dump? I think it’s the meds. And what Mom picks up a poopy-butted kid like that, literally hugging the ‘business end’ to herself? Again, I think it’s the meds. As for Crown Prince PoopyPants [thanx] lack of communication skills – he talks like he’s about 18 months not 4 yrs.- I think that’s probably meds, too. I HATE FOOB! [* I find it completely hilarious, given the situation, that the scientific name of the Robin is Turdus Migratorius.]

  141. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    140: Sudden stillness, grunting noises, and an incoherent shout of “boxcar!” can also mean a full diaper.

  142. Nina
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    mere cog, Elly would have a gunny sack of sheet shavings.

  143. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    #135 Herro! – I first thought you said “www.pattersondenial.com” … but there’s no link for that. Boxcar, Saturn, Margo…

  144. bats :[
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I know parents can “disconnect” from their kids (leaving the rest of us to endure mommymommymommymommy in all manner of public places), but cripes! how braindead ARE you when your kid is squirming on you and using you as a toilet seat?
    Heinous. If Lynn’s out of ideas, just kill the strip and live off the tschotke royalties.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/?saved=1

  145. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    And now, some Delayed By Last Night’s KingFeatures.com Crapout snark:

    Archie: Who’s going to buy an elephant? Read the sign. Whites. They’ll turn the ivory into decorative napkin rings and the feet into kitchy wastebaskets, and leave the rest to rot in the sun. Have you never read Phantom?

    BBlues: I’m sure Hammie the Menace could make a legal case for abandonment of trademark by Dennis.

    Blondie: Capri pants? Blondie should have lied that they were Trixie’s. She knows that Dagwood only allows her to wear skirts. Looks like he’s going to have to resume the maintenance spankings.

    Luann: Wait… if Dad had his cell phone with him… why didn’t he just call the house? Or his wife’s work? Or a neighbor? If he had, there wouldn’t be an inconvenient incident report to be used as evidence in his voyeurism trial.

    MW: Wow. Dullest flirting since… well, since these two talked on the phone yesterday.

    Phantom: Don Cheadle, in a guest appearance.

    Popeye: This is probably not the first time Olive has tried the green stuff. Popeye’s surprised because previously, she had insisted that they keep their “spinach play” in the bedroom. Well, blow me down! Arf arf arf arf!

    RMMD: Damn it, June, you’re supposed to squirt him in the face with seltzer water! Have the Ritz Brothers taught you nothing? Now, that box of seltzer pills is going to absorb Hugh Powers of snotiness and low alcohol tolerance.

    SFx: This charming quadtych would make a lovely decoration for Dawn Weston’s condo.

  146. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    If you go to the Gil Thorp goodie page and select orange from the design pull-down menu, doesn’t the cheerleader look like a young Sally Forth? Sally Thorp?

  147. Paperback Rifler
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Dingo: Love the “Interdimensional Punch a la Kaz” recreation! The one flaw with the picture, though, is that you guys are too good-looking to sub for those grotesquely deformed Milford metahumans. Oh well; I guess we all have our crosses to bear.

  148. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    # 145 Mr. A.S. Brick.

    I forwarded that link to my wife at work. BTW, I might not post for a few days.

  149. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Didn’t say it before, Dingo, but that is a grand picture. Is it Phososhop? Or can your SO actually divide into two people?

  150. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    #136,
    Don’t forget Tommie and her forged RN license.

  151. June Morgan\\\'s Larger Breast
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    145 SSB that link made my day!!!

  152. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW – In all fairness to the Crown Prince of Poopy Pants, he was born on November 1, 2004. That makes him … I don’t know. You do the math. But it’s something less than three. By today’s standards, he’s a candidate for potty training intelligentsia if he can manage to drop his load in the can before he’s five. I’m more concerned about the fact that he has absolutely no verbal skills at all. A kid has to be able to say “Gotta go potty” before he can do it.
    And, in all fairness to Dee, back in the day mothers didn’t have their noses up their kids’ butts 24/7. We ran around unsupervised all of the time – while mom was down by the river beating the laundry with a rock or churning butter or whatever. Oh, that’s right! We were taught how to behave first. Never mind.

  153. kingklash
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    “Random Gil Thorp-related nonsense”

    That’s pretty much the full title of the strip, and the description of what goes on, isn’t it?

  154. Lula Patoot
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Squawk, #70

    Roz Chast is talented and funny, and Al Scaduto is not.

    My point was that Scaduto is at least as funny as Chast; only, a much better artist.

    I think that woman’s scribbles would well deserve the full Comics Curmudgeon treatment, if only they appeared in the funnies.

  155. Anonymous
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Winky Cancersex – Ok, if you can’t be honest with your fellow mudges, who can you be honest with? I feel for Jessica. I had a boyfriend my Senior year of HS/Frosh year of college who would NOT give up the goods. I mean, he was just gorgeous and funny and smart, but he was also a good Southern Baptist boy, and would not unzip for love or money. It drove me nuts.

    And Jessica is a girl with a healthy libido (though questionable self-esteem) and she’s not wrong for wanting to be with Darin in a biblical sense.

    So I say, go for it, kids! But use a condom! And if Batuik feels the need to show it, can he please use euphemistic pictures, like bread popping up out of the toaster, trains going into tunnels, skyrockets, javelins…whatever?

  156. Allie Cat
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    #155 was me. Crap. Serves me right for clearing out my cookies.

  157. ElSanto
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Wow. I was browsing that site with the awesome Gil Thorp shirts and noticed that they had a whole line of Pluggers T-shirts. Oddly, there were a lot more Pluggers designs than Gil Thorp designs. That ain’t right.

  158. Margo!Boxcar!Saturn!
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    SHIRT UPDATE!

    Shirts are being printed now! Monday is the projected shipping date! Thank you all who ordered them and even sent in checks!

  159. queek
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    MC: Halle Beary. *swoon* Ms DeJesus, Mr. Power, you have outdone yourselves today.

    PBS: I love the crocs.

    F-: it hasn’t been two weeks, but I still laughed.

    today’s Speed Bump was very, very sweet.

  160. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Dean Booth, I was looking at your dossier of fun and saw the FOOB hack again, which is truly freaking funny with Gwamps and all.
    Did you actually get the CC and Sly image up on the real FOOB site for a while, or was it strictly a spoof of the home page for your site?

  161. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Maj. Hoople @ 148, June’s Breast @ 151: I found that site thanks to someone on this site who posted a few weeks ago that FC’s Dolly Keane was destined to grow up to be (paraphrasing) “one of those women who grows up to write Christian Domestic Discipline porn.” So I can’t take full credit.

  162. smacky
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    #156: Allie Cat, after all the euphemisms you listed in your #155 post, “clearing out my cookies” sounds absolutely filthy!

  163. GotFuzzy
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    I just found the perfect gift for the Patterspawn. Let’s all chip in and get it for Wobin’s birthday!

  164. Dean Booth
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    FC: Who knows what evil lurks in the evil mind of grandmas.

    And, in case you missed it at the very end of yesterthread, here is something for robe lovers (SFW).

  165. AhClem
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    A few meta-questions:

    1) Is there a way to add comics to my personal Chron page, or do I have to re-create it from scratch?

    2) The Gail Martin wiki page takes several minutes to fully load, even at work on a T1 line. Is this normal behavior?

    3) Will I get fired for looking at the Gail Martin page at work?

  166. Paperback Rifler
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    F Minus: This made me laugh today. Or maybe it made me give a blue cheer. Either way, I liked it.

    Mary Worth: Guest-starring today as “DR. Drew Corey” is Bela Lugosi in his Dracula getup from 1931. How cool is that? And look; in that first panel, Bela is taking out his prop vampire fangs because he knows that they’re not possibly going to be able to get to his fang-baring closeup today. What a pro!

    Slylock Fox: I’d really like to know why that bear is so darn happy. Perhaps he’s saying, “I’ve finally figured a way to get up the hunny tree with getting chased off by bees!” or “I’ve just saved a bundle on my car insurance!” Or maybe he’s saying, “Whoa! I never knew that we could do that in the woods! This changes everything!” Could he even be saying, “A rabbit! I will name him George!”? Enquiring minds want to know!

    Mark Trail: “I’ll meet you at the airport tomorrow morning, Mark! . . . In the meantime, could you tell me what you’re wearing? . . . Mmm, khaki! That is SO hot! . . . Tell me MORE about your ‘oil spot!’ . . . Ooooh . . .”

    Cancer Cancercancer: “It wasn’t until years later that I found out that it was premarital sex that caused my cancer. It’s not the kind of cancer that you can treat, either; it’s a ‘batiukoma,’ which is an insidious and highly malignant disease that attacks the heart and turns it into a blackened, unfeeling, shriveled wad of tissue that can sometimes be as small as a lima bean. The doctor said that even before he ran any tests, he was sure that I had a batiukoma because one of the telltale signs is that I was constantly smirking at my own misfortune and the misery of others.”

  167. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    161 Spiderbrick: Thanks for the thoroughly disturbing link! I particularly enjoyed the “crotchless pantaloons”. I may even make “crotchless pantaloons” my screen name, albeit on another site I sometimes visit.

  168. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Ah Clem @ 165: I don’t believe there’s any NSFW content on the Gail Martin Wiki page.

    But since you mentioned the page… if anyone here isn’t familiar with “song-poems,” go waste several hilarious hours reading this site.

  169. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    #155 – Oh, God, you reminded me of the 70′s tune “Afternoon Delight.” Now I have to reboot my brain.

    BTW, your post reminds me too of my favorite O scenes in film-N. Nolte and B/ Midler in “Down and out in Beverly Hills” with the Capistrano scene, and in Amelie, where a cameo woman simply says “Oop!”

  170. Herro!
    July 19th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    #169–best O-scene ever, the perfect cap to the fourteen loud screaming ones prior.

  171. Tweeks_Coffee
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    #152 and others:

    I myself didn’t talk until I was almost 3, so it’s not unheard of that Robin may not talking much. Though I also potty trained myself before I was 3, so suck on that, Robin! *ahem* Of course my parents also looked into the fact that I wasn’t talking yet, they didn’t just ignore it.

  172. Josh
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    #85 Motorposus — Sorry, two separate books. The Chast collection is called “Theories of Everything” and the other, which includes many unspeakably filthy cartoons from NYer perennials but not Chast, is called “The Rejection Collection.”

    And to whoever felt that vegetarian women were unattractive: based on the evidence of my own spouse, I must disagree…

    Josh

  173. Calico
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    #163 – Hahaha! Perfect!

    I was thinking maybe you had posted a site where you can order NASA-style diapers.

    Dean – sorry if my previous question was NSFW!
    Thanks for making me guffaw on an almost-daily basis.

  174. Kronkina
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, let me join everybody else in complimenting that great pic! And thanks, too, to John, for playing along. Y’all are cool.

    And SSB at #145, thanks for that site! Finally, some proof for my family re: why I’m not a Bible-totin’ Christian like the rest of them.

    I haven’t been posting lately because everybody else is just so darn good that I feel inadequate. But I’m lurking and laughing…and…of…course…

    I still love you guys!!!

  175. Kronkina
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and Dingo – if you end up in Tempe, I totally want to party with y’all.

  176. Spiny Norman
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    I wish I were tech-savvy enough to be able to link to this, but I just noticed that the bed Darrin is about to get laid on (Thursday’s FW) has the same bedspread that provided a dreary dull story arc in last week’s Pickles.

    I am clearly obsessed with linens this week. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

  177. Herro!
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Josh: also based on the evidence of your spouse, and my reflection in the mirror, I agree with you. :-)

  178. T. Chicana
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    That Christian discipline site is insane! Catholics don’t do that. NO ONE should do that! It’s messed up. I mean, really. I seriously don’t think Jesus ever told anyone to go forth and spank their spouse! It’s…dirty.

  179. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Who would Jesus spank?

  180. Josh
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    #178 T. Chicana (and others) — you really have to read all the way to the bottom (ha ha), to the section headed “eroticism”. That’s where the real payoff is.

    Josh

  181. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    #171 – Tweeks_Coffee
    Maybe you weren’t saying things out loud until you were three but I’ll bet you were thinking thoughts way more articulate than “Mmm..Mmmm..Mmm.”
    Kids talk when they are ready, when they have something to say and/or when they find a worthy audience.
    I’m only pissed that, unlike your parents, nobody seems to give a damn about Robin’s progress. I’m not saying they should call in the developmental specialists just yet. But it would be nice if they were engaged with the child and made some effort to teach him – just another sign of Johnston’s laziness as a storyteller. It makes even less sense because his father is a writer so you would think communication skills would be important to him and something he would like to nurture in his psyco-babbling, shit-fest of a kid.
    Although, in this case, it may simply be more proof of the old bromide, “Like father, like son”.

    And I will spare everyone the “J’accuse” method of potty training that took my rotten kid from Pampers to Underoos in about thirty seconds flat.

  182. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    #180 Josh –

    The Spankin’ Styles page is OK, too — demure is the new hot.

  183. willethompson
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Hey, poteet and the divine O’F! gh just reported in. He was in the Great Smokies (soon to be renamed the Great Marlboros under the Federal Park Sponsorship Act of 2007) and says he saw three bears, none of them Dingo. Says he misses you. Computer problems keep him from saying so in person.

  184. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    #181 Trotz –

    Did YRK steal bread, too?

  185. willethompson
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    I wonder how many hits the Christian Discipline site got today? And I wonder if it enjoyed them?

  186. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    #182 me -

    The Spankin’ Styles page is OK, too — demure is the new hot.

    Gah. I totally missed the “muslin fundamentalist” joke – and it was right there.

    Slippin’ away, slippin’ away. . .

  187. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    If it’s called “loving wife spanking” why do those good Christian women need this:

    http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/herbalexpressions.html

    C’mon…that CDD stuff isn’t real, is it? Or, if it is, it’s like ‘Gail Martin’ real, right?

  188. SmartPeopleOnIce
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Heh heh. I am crying tears of awesome. Er, wait a sec, it might be blood… Nope, false alarm.

    Awesome!

  189. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    #184 – Uncle Lumpy
    No. It was more like the Dreyfus Affair….

  190. Herro!
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Trotzenbonnie, please do tell! It may be gross, but hearing about baby poo is less gross than dealing with baby poo, and if I ever have children, I’ll want to know that trick!

  191. Major Hooples Boarding House
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    I love their CafePress page LovingDD . Especially the thong!

  192. NotThatGuy
    July 19th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    YAY! For MargoBoxcarSaturn shirts!

    MW: Drew shouldn’t have ordered blood to drink as an appetizer; it’s obviously given Dawn ideas.

    Foob: I read this strip last night, I think, but it makes no impression on me. Which means I had to reread it after reading the comments, and it still makes no impression on me.

    RMMD: Hugh is about my very favorite comic not-quite-a-villan since Aldo!

  193. Krazy Kat
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean-Hell, yeahah! This is why I read the comics. Less cancer and more gettin it on.

  194. mere cog in the machine
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been reading the blogs on the CDD site, and I dunno – these women seem to be well-adjusted and happy in their relationships. I always thought I was being a misogynist when such thoughts would cross my mind during a heated argument with a shrewish hellion, but I guess my heart was in the right place!

  195. MossMoses
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Man Behind the Curtain:
    “Then send her over to your friends.”

    You’re onto something there but Drew makes it clear right away that he’s into group sex, just like his friends. When a playa like (Doctor) Drew says he’ll connect you with some friends, he means it literally.

    Dawn Weston is practically begging to be in a group sex creme pie of amzing whew jiz4u doctordrewspewkake. It might be good for her hair…

  196. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    #190 – Herro!
    I’ll try. MRK may never speak to me again, but I’ll try. Keep in mind that my brothers & sisters were much younger than me and more like siblings to MRK than aunts & uncles.

    The kid (28 months old) was sitting on the floor surrounded by his aunts and uncles who he absolutely adored but only saw sporadically because we lived near D.C and they “lived” in Poughkeepsie NY – so every moment with them was precious. Poor kid makes a little doody in his dydie and my brother uses this opportunity to secretly release some pent-up gas. Of course the kid gets blamed for the stench, the aunts and uncles start screaming about the horrible smell and they run away, leaving my poor baby alone to struggle with making the association between his muddy ass and being isolated from his favorite people in the world. I tried to comfort him by telling him that people just don’t like to hang around smelly butts and that’s why God invented toilets. He never soiled himself again.

  197. Tim T.
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Is Deanna making a “Jughead run”? (Sorry…I don’t know how to make the link to last week’s Archie.)
    Best wishes to all Curmudgeoneers.

  198. Little Guy
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: THree days confirm it — Sam’s Hills have a French Quarter — a derriere, as you may.

  199. Hogen Mogen
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    #181 – Trotz, in a strip where the characters age in real time, I’d give Lynn a B+ for that. Take, for example the horrendous aging of the baby on Friends, where Rachel had a 13-14 month pregnancy, followed by a year or more of the baby being solely relegated to a little basket. Lynn may not update the age of the characters consistently, especially when it involves young children that develop and change so quickly. However, look at the kids in Luann and Blondie that age inconsistently. Look at the kids in almost every other strip that act like snide, snarky little grown ups or continuously bewildered rascals with enormous heads.

  200. AhClem
    July 19th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    From the CDD Site:

    “That a patient, yet firm, across the knees bare bottom spanking(hand or paddle)/whipping(switch or strap) is personal, humiliating, and painful is well known. “It’s supposed to [hurt].” That is precisely why, if the practice is not abused, it can be a very effective consequence or discipline! As a few husbands have discovered, once he has thoroughly prevailed, even an implied threat of another may be sufficient to straighten out marital difficulties for some time to come.

    “At the same time, as many women who have experienced both will testify, getting the pants-down/off licking of one’s life is not nearly as soul-wrenching, embarrassing, or agonizing as divorce. Because a timely trip across the husband’s knees usually restores broken fellowship and breeds both love and respect in marriage, the long-term results certainly are not nearly as debilitating as divorce for most couples.”

    Oh, man, if we could see this played out in Blondie, it would be SO worth it! Especially if she goes over to the Woodley’s house, borrows back Dagwood’s shovel, and smacks it against the back of his skull afterwards.

  201. Mitsuki Matsuya
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    200:…followed by a hasty backyard burial.

  202. whoamItoday?
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    196-Trotzenbonnie

    what a lucky break! Now, I have 27 months to try to engineer the set up.

  203. Nina
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Sounds like CDD is just a cover for people who are into spanking. It would be a cold day in hell….

  204. Hogen Mogen
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    I’m trying to read up on this Christian Discipline thing, but I can’t figure out who gets spanked.

    By the way, if you’re interested in Christian Femdom, do NOT visit the “visit our new website” link for the above page, because I did and my virus detector went off. Hey, I’m just trying to do some research, dude, give me a break.

  205. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    I have to wonder what proportion of men who participate in this CDD stuff truly believe everything presented on that Web site, vs. what proportion are more along the lines of, “Dude! I just quote some Bible crap, and she totally lets me spank her! Plus, when I tell her to shut up and get me a beer, she does it. Sweeeet!”

  206. Nina
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    whoamIrtoday, I potty trained my daughter in one day as well. I gave her a doll to “potty train” and she got the connection right away. (of course she was 30 at the time) *just kidding, it really did work for her.

  207. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    #199 – Hogen Mogen
    Have you ever seen soap operas? (Uh, not that I have, but I’ve heard stories….) A kid could be in preschool one day and junior high the next. The kids’ ages are manipulated to suit inclusion in whatever crisis du jour they want to exploit.

    In the comics, I’ll always regret that Dondi failed to age along with me. I so wanted to marry him….

    You said – “Lynn may not update the age of the characters consistently”. Don’t say that too loudly or there’ll be an envelope filled with Canadian air with your name on it!

  208. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    #207 Trotz –

    there’ll be an envelope filled with Canadian air with your name on it!

    Then we will all leave the room, and you will be toilet-trained!

  209. Poteet
    July 19th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    # 183 — Thank you, willethompson! I’ll bet all the other CC fans of gh will also appreciate that good news. And seeing three bears in the Smokies is quite cool. (I wonder if any of them know the legendary MT Arrow-Butt Bear or Molly, The Best Bear In The World.)

  210. Trotzenbonnie
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Poteet!
    I’ve been meaning to ask…was CrabbyGenes affected at all by the earthquake in Japan? There was no mention of it here so I’m assuming all is o.k. but, damn, it was a pretty big quake.

  211. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #205 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Quite a few, I imagine. Dammit, this is just one more to file under my “the worst thing about being a Christian is the other Christians” category. Stupid fucks.

  212. Islamorada Girl
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Whatever would Betty Bowers say about CDD?

  213. Motorposus
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    #172 – Thanks for ‘splaining, Josh. I guess I didn’t read your original post very carefully.

    “Theories of Everything” never fails to slay me. Now I must get my hands on the “Rejection Collection”.

  214. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Well, you know what that old saying, “the Devil can quote Scripture to serve his needs.”

    Someone needs to start a Christian Casual Handjobs site.

  215. Dean Booth
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    #160 Calico. “Did you actually get the CC and Sly image up on the real FOOB site” — if I did, I’d be famous or in prison, or both! And don’t worry about your comment being NSFW. I keep my office door closed most of the time.

    PeteMoss: You can use my name anytime. I got it off of a nameplate on my desk when my company changed buildings.

    Brick: The spanking site is hilarious. One must uphold traditional fanny values.

  216. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    #179 (cog): Well, let’s see… there are some people in a temple somewhere who found out the answer to that question the hard way… not to mention hitting with a barky stick and flinging a packet of seltzer at.

    Tiger: The kid’s suddenly debating Scaduto. Wonder if his cartoonist reads us?

    S-M: JJJJJ’s so gleefully smug his flattop ‘do is getting taller!

    FC: Yukon Cornelius will be happy either way. “Gran’ma, what’s that ice pick doing in your head?”

    BBlues: Looking at FOOB, be glad it’s just grape juice!

    Curtis: Took him a nanosecond to revert back to same-old same-old… Is that a record? As the saying goes: “Learn from your mistakes, or you’ll be doomed to be the title character in ‘Curtis’!”

  217. Uncle Lumpy
    July 19th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    #216 Mm –

    Curtis — Yeah, I was disappointed in that: it sure looked like Billingsley was setting up a Very Special Episode in which Curtis schooled Michelle in Modern Blackness.

    That could’ve gone every whichway, but noooooo. . . .

    Next: Barry wets the bed! Greg smokes!

    And another thing — FOOB gonna do anything with that damn tack? I mean, it’s not Chekov’s gun,*but still. . . .

    * No, dear heart — the real Chekov. Sheesh.

  218. Kip W
    July 19th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    #168 (Spider-Brick) – The mp3 link at the song-poem page led to a “not found” page, but lucky for us, WFMU has a couple entire albums of the very best (yes, you read correctly) — here’s a page with mp3s of the “I Like Yellow Things” and “Rat-A-Tat, America!” These have been on my iPod for a while.

  219. butcherknifetotin\'annie
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Lula Patoot: I agree with Squawk. Why are you so hard on Roz Chast? She is my favorite living cartoonist! What exactly do you hate about her so much??

    Each week when the New Yorker arrives, I look at the list of drawing credits first. If RC’s name does not appear, it’s a letdown for me.

  220. butcherknifetotin'annie
    July 19th, 2007 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: We’ve already seen that the boy does not have object constancy, as revealed several Sundays ago in the Sunday strip, where Meredith tricked Robin into eating mud, telling him it was chocolate. This in spite of the fact that Robin saw the pre-watered dirt and saw his sister water the dirt with the garden hose. Normal children establish object constancy before the first birthday. We also saw that Robin unblinkingly placed a tack in his mouth earlier this week. Most children beyond age one will automatically spit it out, or not put it in their mouths to begin with. We can argue for eternity if Robin is “behind” in his expressive verbal skills and/or toilet-training, as well as the nearness of his 3rd birthday (thanks, Trotz, for reminding us of the exact date) and its relevance. This boy does not have the cognitive skills of a ONE-year-old. He is, to be very euphemistic about it, seriously “developmentally delayed.” But it doesn’t matter: Doormat Dumble-wife and St. Michael the Male Patterson have their own house! Which they can decorate any tasteful way they wish! And Lynn Ex Machina Johnston has decreed that St. Michael is the greatest writer in the history of written human expression! A $25,000 advance for an unsolicited manuscript from a newbie novelist! Who cares if the couple’s younger child has less intelligence than a newborn kitten? Certainly not these two clueless parents or their clueless, self-satisfied creator.

  221. LTBF
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    My son was not potty trained until two months past his third birthday. However, he was able by then to speak, recognise numbers and letters, etc. He is now nine (ten in September), still sucks his thumb at night, uses a night light and sleeps with a stuffed animal. Yet he also makes straight As in school and is a good baseball player. Go figure.

    I also put my wife’s (non Capris) pants on by mistake this morning. We had a good laugh reading Blondie.

  222. LTBF
    July 19th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    There were a number of strips when Robin was a baby where they talked about him being sick, but never said what was wrong. Then that subject was dropped.

  223. AppleGirl
    July 20th, 2007 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    Dingo and John – That photo is totally out-of-control hilarious.

  224. gnbman
    March 21st, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Too bad Dingo died. The two could have recreated all the best (worst?) Gil Thorpe strips.

  225. Violin Cases
    August 16th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

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  227. learn to play piano
    August 17th, 2013 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    I seldom write remarks, but i did some searching
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