The Comics Curmudgeon

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Be afraid … be very afraid

Dennis the Menace, 8/1/07

Not to keep on repeating myself, but there are few things more disturbing in this life than seeing that single drop of sweat roll slug-like down George Wilson’s florid, spiteful mask of a face. All of the things that it could signify — an incipient killing spree, a massive cerebral hemorrhage in progress, unwanted sexual arousal — are things better left uncontemplated.

Today, Dennis is identified as a pest, which is an epithet much more in line with his severely downgraded antisocial behavior. It doesn’t actually rhyme with “Dennis,” but I would argue that his current pale reflection of his past menacing glories ought to revoke his right to a rhyming nickname. I had a brief hope when my eyes settled on the word “pest” that Mr. Wilson was referring to a three-foot-tall fly-human hybrid, who had escaped from his basement lab and had arrived to wreak a gruesome revenge on his creator. This, to me, would have justified that creepy bead of sweat.

Crankshaft, 8/1/07

Ha ha, silly old person! You thought that as an adult you were still entitled privacy and autonomy! Has nobody pointed out to you that you’re old?

Popeye, 8/1/07

After our last visit to this feature, those of you who don’t read Popeye regularly are probably wondering if the strip continues to be totally bonkers. Today’s installment, in which Popeye, Olive Oyl, and Olive Oyl’s brother Castor cower in a Cold War-era bomb shelter from a bloodthirsty cow determined to bite off their heads and drag their corpses across the field, is here to answer with a hearty “Yes!”

Gil Thorp, 8/1/07

“All beginners have issues with footwork Mr. Ritter, but Bill has only half as much trouble as most — because he only has half as many feet! Get it? Because he chopped one of his legs off with a chainsaw, you see. But anyway, your boy can punch! It’s almost as if he carries some kind of burning, unquenchable rage inside of him! I can’t guess why that would be, but let’s just hope that the guy who invented the chainsaw doesn’t get in the way of his fists, you know what I’m saying? Get it? Because he chopped one of his legs off with a chainsaw! Hey, come back, where’re you going? I got a million of these!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 1, 2007 at 02:22 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Dennis the Menace, Gil Thorp, Popeye.

268 responses to “Be afraid … be very afraid”

Jym
August 1st, 2007 at 2:27 am [Reply]

=v= (DT)GT (Josh): Footwork!!!
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 2:32 am [Reply]

Mr. Wilson is undoubtedly worryinig that Dennis will reveal their wild lust-filled romps in the tub when the Mrs. is out shopping for cookies.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 2:35 am [Reply]

#1 Jym – Yeah, really!

Kinda hard for a one-legged kid to have good footwork, isn’t it? Especially when he’s using two crutches to simply get around; how is Sure Can Punch stand on his own? And if he has an artificial limb, why don’t you let him get used to it better so he won’t have to use crutches?

Oh, I have questions, yes I do. But then this is Gil Thorp, the Comic That Transcends All Logic.
Mik Holmes
August 1st, 2007 at 3:22 am [Reply]

No way I can get first. I’m going to call “in the top 15!”

(DT)GT: Is it just me, or does the kid look like he’s going to cry in panel 3. Also, he doesn’t seem to be punching as much as….knocking….like on a door.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 3:33 am [Reply]

Who’s going to be in the role of a Clambake for Bill Ritter?
minosbull
August 1st, 2007 at 3:37 am [Reply]

“Don’t look!” The old crone crooned, face contorted in a mask of impotent fury. The man, also probably impotent, averted his eyes. It was his last mistake. The old lady cackled with glee, driving the wooden stake deep through the bewildered bespeckled man’s heart. By the time realization could dawn on him, he was dead, and the old woman had sauntered out the front door, muttering to herself. “That’ll teach him.. a real son wouldn’t give his mother stock advice. The little maggot.” The security cameras caught it all.
dale
August 1st, 2007 at 4:04 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – Before someone says, “Doesn’t the silly old woman know they blank out your password?” – no she doesn’t and has no reason to.

I really wish that I had an option to see what I typed (or the computer thinks I typed). I had a lot of aggravation with a PC that booted up with the numeric lock on.
AppleGirl
August 1st, 2007 at 4:25 am [Reply]

7 – dale – Ah yes… the always-confusing NumLock! We’ve all been there, my friend.

MW – So how many days will it take for Mary to run to Wilbur and spill out every boring detail of Dawn’s “good news?” My money’s on this Saturday.
Ginger Yellow
August 1st, 2007 at 4:38 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – Before someone says, “Doesn’t the silly old woman know they blank out your password?” – no she doesn’t and has no reason to.

Moreover he’s clearly looking at the keyboard. I reckon he’s planning to steal all the money before she can bequeathe it to someone who actually respects her.
Mumblix Grumph
August 1st, 2007 at 4:54 am [Reply]

That’s not Mr. Ritter…that’s Mr. Fonzarelli in a bowling shirt. Wrong sit-com.
Dilby
August 1st, 2007 at 4:55 am [Reply]

That’s clearly Wimpy in the bunker with Popeye and Olive. Or is her brother a Wimpy look-alike? Are they related in ways only the South could understand? And most importantly, will he gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today?
Christopher
August 1st, 2007 at 4:56 am [Reply]

Man, so much to talk about today.

I’m getting a “page temporarily unavailable” message when I try that link, but hopefully it’ll start working at some reasonable hour of the day.

BC: Man, whatta comeback! “Cut that out!” my sides are killing me!

Beetle Baily: Photo-realistic George Washington and an incomprehensible punch line I can’t for the life of me figure out weren’t enough to get a mention in the parade of crazy in today’s post?

Seriously, somebody explain it to me, because right now question marks are shooting out of my head, Popeye style.

Blondie: Oh, Dagwood, your constant lateness never fails to amuse, you crazy kookster.

Seriously, that’s what I thought about this one. What the hell is wrong with me!?

Dick Tracy: Um, can we go ahead and take these Russian dudes into some kind of custody? Because I’d think getting away from two officers and a civilian would be easier then escaping CIA headquarters, and we’ve already seen how frightfully easy that is.

Hell, with your observational skills, they’ve probably already replaced themselves with cardboard cutouts and tape recorders.

Family Circus: Yeah, just give her the guest bedroom in that land-based cruise-ship you’re driving.

I didn’t know Hummer made station wagons.

Also, am I the only one who thought that the little girl was in manacles when they first glanced at this strip? Slate gray may not be the best color for a jump rope.

FOOB: There HAS to be a non-dirty way to interpret this… doesn’t there?

Get Fuzzy: I don’t know what the point of this storyline is, but it’s surprisingly boring.

Luanne: What kind of lazy-ass way of drawing a silhouette is that? Was the whole strip done in Bic pen while waiting on hold?

I mean, They look kind of like Pig Pen, and I actually thought they were supposed to be caked in dirt when I first saw this.

Angry Duck: Yeah, because racial profiling would totally have stopped the second deadliest attack on US soil, too.

Mark Trail: I think Trail DID sleep with Sam, and now he’s trying to kill her off so Cherry won’t find out.

How else do you explain his plan, which is basically, “Go antagonize that guy with the rifle who isn’t afraid to commit felonies, while I… uh… go over here and wait… for a good opening.”

Big Dog: You know Marmaduke’s going to start humping the hell out of this guy any minute.

Okay, that might’ve been too crude, but come on, Marmaduke is pure evil. Do you think he shows compassion to his slaves? The best this guy can hope for is a swift death.

Sally Forth: Man, who knew Ted could be such an ass? I honestly didn’t know he had it in him, but he’s turning into Margo right before our eyes.

Spider-Man: Man, does the author of this strip have some sort of “super-people watch TV” fetish we should know about?
TeacherPatti
August 1st, 2007 at 5:04 am [Reply]

FC: I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or shoot myself about this, but I actually remember that panel from when it first came out. My mom bought me a bunch of FC collection books when I was little, and for some reason, I remember that one. Wasn’t funny then. Isn’t funny now.

MW: Dawn looks so old and worn down in the second panel. For someone “in love”, she looks like she’s been trod upon and put away wet. What exactly is Dr. Drew DOING to her?!?!

FOOB: There’s something very wrong about today’s strip, but I can’t articulate it.
MJ1066
August 1st, 2007 at 5:34 am [Reply]

For Better or for Worse: Way too much information.
Spotted HØrse
August 1st, 2007 at 5:35 am [Reply]

#13 TeacherPatti: There’s something very wrong about today’s strip, but I can’t articulate it.

John’s eye bulging take in panel 5 makes him look uncomfortably aroused at the thought of the ripeness of Rebecca’s wild, amazing costumes. The squirm factor is compounded by his pleasure in panel 4 at the thought of April in the costumes. Urgh.

Or are you just talking about Rebecca wanting to trade lives with April? Works for me, too!
MonkeyHawk
August 1st, 2007 at 5:40 am [Reply]

“Dr. Cory the younger, who’s older than me by about a dozen years.”

Ah, c’mon.

Who talks like that?! Even in third-rate restoration comedies? Dawn’s the kind of person who’d ask the manager at the supermarket, “How long have you been grocing?” Or who’d say, “Before he started preaching, Jesus carpented in Nazareth.”
Pozzo
August 1st, 2007 at 5:45 am [Reply]

Okay, is there even supposed to be a joke in Crankshaft? Because if there is, I totally missed it.

Now a cow eating Popeye’s head…THAT’S funny!
Pozzo
August 1st, 2007 at 5:49 am [Reply]

#12 Christopher: George’s eyes evidently only follow Miss Uniboob…err, Buxley around the room and can’t be bothered to tear themselves away from to pulchritude to waste a glance at the shriveled waste of feminity that is Miss Bipps.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 5:50 am [Reply]

Do online accounts generate more interest than pass book accounts? Why is the ever-patient-yet-mildly-exaperated son gave a damn what her accounts are up too? The threat of loosing money in a passbook account is close to nil, the house could burn down and she could lose all the passbooks, but the money is still there and the bank will hold on to it for her. However, the threat of loosing all her money to some phishing scam (which pray on the elderly) is quite real and much harder to rectify. Bit of advice to sonny, ensure her papers are in order, and enjoy the rest of the time you have with her. Oh yeah, you can’t because you hate her. Ok, make her last days on earth a living hell! I’ll keep reading.
Pozzo
August 1st, 2007 at 6:10 am [Reply]

Okay, make that “her pulchritude” and “femininity”. Too early…
smacky
August 1st, 2007 at 6:13 am [Reply]

Foob: “They’re not washable.”

In other words, Becky reeks of crotch sweat.

Nice.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 6:32 am [Reply]

Ok, coffee’s kicked in and I just realized I ranted on about Crankshaft and banks. Hoooo! Please disregard my last post.

21 – Smacky -
Becky also reeks of Gerald, and maybe even the Hooo guy.
Blake
August 1st, 2007 at 6:44 am [Reply]

FOOB: So Becky’s a stanky skank. Yeah, Lynn, we get it; she isn’t a Patterson.
Dan Traut
August 1st, 2007 at 6:53 am [Reply]

12 – The portrait of George Washington only has eyes for Miss Buxley. God only knows what he’s doing underneath the portrait…
Dono
August 1st, 2007 at 6:56 am [Reply]

“It’s Dr Cory The Younger! You know the one–he’s in practice with Dr Pliny The Elder and Dr Smokey The Bear!”
MonkeyHawk
August 1st, 2007 at 6:56 am [Reply]

Becky’s slut-suits reek of Gerald jism.
Gojira
August 1st, 2007 at 6:58 am [Reply]

Josh: “[B]loodthirsty cow determined to bit off their heads” – s/b “bite?” Okay, you did post in the wee hours…

Beetle Bailey: Considering Ms. Blips has her butt facing the GW painting, how can she tell it isn’t looking?

MT: In panel 1, who let the air out of Sam’s rack?

By the way, either the Chron site changed its navigation options or there’s a glitch. On the color comics, the calendars are for June and August. If you want to check out yesterday’s strip, good luck.
Ryl
August 1st, 2007 at 7:02 am [Reply]

It’s been said many times before, but it bears repeating that Dennis’s menacing has been on a decided downslope for the last several decades. I don’t come here just to say that, though, I come bearing proof. In the 1960s he was terrorizing the neighborhood with poisons but in the 1980s, he was reduced to singing idiotic songs with the rest of his class as Margaret lorded over them all.

And because I can’t resist another link (or two), watch as Rex Morgan MD talk about your unborn child and amputate women’s hands when they love alchohol more than babies.
Mollie
August 1st, 2007 at 7:05 am [Reply]

Perhaps it’s just because the artist has not yet come up with an answer to the very valid questions raised by True Fable (#3), but I am baffled and amused by the refusal of “Gil Thorp” to show us the bottom half of Bill Ritter since he limped his way into that room last week. Any other comic would want to remind you (and inform any new readers) why it’s interesting that this particular character is learning to box, but ol’ “Gil” just counts on us to remember. Or else they figure an update on some kid’s boxing progress will be absorbing no matter what the circumstances are. Or else the artist hasn’t figured out how to draw a missing leg (hint: it’s much easier than drawing an actual leg!). I don’t know about you guys, but I am imagining that Sean Pettibone is there, squatting beneath Bill, supporting his weight in the spot where his missing leg used to be and grimacing under the strain.
stinky pete
August 1st, 2007 at 7:10 am [Reply]

MW: “Corey the Younger”? Making Mary’s Jeff “Corey the Elder”?

Other notable elder/younger combos (several of whom are romantically linked to Mary Worth):
Pliny
Pitt
Seneca
Cato
Agrippina
Pieter Brueghel
Johnathon Edwards
Lucas Cranach
Aebbe
Grimoald
Nicodemus Tessin
MyEvilTwin
August 1st, 2007 at 7:11 am [Reply]

I just want to point out that in the final panel of today’s Crankshaft, there is a head-swivel worthy of A3G.
ohyes
August 1st, 2007 at 7:12 am [Reply]

RMMD: “Hello, Police Emergency. How may I help you? A car exploded? Where? Morgan residence? You mean…Dr. Rex Morgan? And was this car in your garage, where the drug dealer was shot recently? No? Was it at the stadium, where the police had to shoot Dr. Mogan’s contact recently? No? Oh, out front of your house this time. I see. Someday, Mrs. Morgan, you folks are gonna have some ’splainin’ to do.”
Willy
August 1st, 2007 at 7:13 am [Reply]

FC: Looks like a kidnap-victim-in-waiting, complete with convenient rope for restraint.

Sally Forth: That’s right, diss the team you coach…tomorrow I predict the catcher will bash his head in with the bat. Well, that’s my fervent wish anyway.

GT: Looks like Bill has all the emotion of a lobotomized drone…he’s even got the scar! I believe the dialog in the last frame was sarcasm…looks like he’s knocking on a door, not punching the bag. Give the boy a sucker and tell him to hit the showers.
Ukulele Ike
August 1st, 2007 at 7:22 am [Reply]

#29 Mollie: I was thinking along the same lines….more specifically, WHAT’S holding the kid up, since the leg’s been lopped off at crotch level. My first idea was that he hooked a hatrack onto the seat of his gym shorts.

Popeye: Naw, that’s not Wimpy. Wimpy may be fat, but he is of normal stature and shares Jughead’s trait of never quite opening his eyes. Heavy consumption of hamburger often results in a perpetual squint.
Eau de Plugger
August 1st, 2007 at 7:24 am [Reply]

#5 – I sure hope that Clambake has a cousin named “The Oyster”. That would be an awesome boxer name. I suppose he’d have a flattened nose, but with the art in GT who could tell.
Shmork
August 1st, 2007 at 7:37 am [Reply]

Whereever step 2 is extermination, step 1 is dehumanization.
Martin
August 1st, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean could have been ten times more awesome today if the blonde chick had added “It’s your funeral” at the end.
Tweeks_Coffee
August 1st, 2007 at 7:51 am [Reply]

BB: What I find most disturbing is the fact that they did, indeed change the eyes. I’m pretty sure Halftrack is behind that painting a la Scooby Doo.

‘Shaft: Now, I only saw a strip or two of the story so I may be completely wrong, but isn’t this the same woman who had Alzheimer’s a few years ago? If that is the case, then obviously there’s no way she should be the sole withholder.

(DT)GT: Boy, Gil’s certainly gotten good at his off-color humor. Suppose he’s warming up for his set at The Improv?

MW: Dawn is doing her damndest in the second panel to catch up to Drew in age.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Yeah, that’s Castor, not Wimpy. Wimpy didn’t accompany them on their trip to Castor’s ranch.

Popeye’s art has been very Thimble Theater lately, and I love it.
VALIS
August 1st, 2007 at 7:56 am [Reply]

I think Bill Ritter is to become Gil Thorp’s equivalent of Terry Fox. Soon we’ll see him hop & punch his way through the continent, piling up donations for the first chainsaw-related insane charity that will step up.
Little Guy
August 1st, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

Spidey: Thank you, Stan Lee, for the Meta-humor. Well played.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2007 at 8:07 am [Reply]

MT – OK – Just what has Buzzard got in the background in panel three – a gas grill, postal carrier box, a 1950-esque teletype machine? Is that Waldo in panel two, about to swipe is BBQ turkey legs?

S4th – No, you look so disinterested in your panty hygiene. Now line up for panty inspection.
Kip W
August 1st, 2007 at 8:11 am [Reply]

GT – Bill is going to lose his other leg and both arms in a long continued storyline called “Boxing Ritter.”

At the moment, I keep imagining I hear the Beatles singing “But your boy can punch” to the tune of “And Your Bird Can Sing.” Must be the malaria again.

DtM – A few years ago, at work, I was sketching Dennis and Mr. Wilson over and over. Dennis would be joyfully hollering things like “I’M GONNA OUTLIVE YOU!!” as Mr. W. got more and more steamed (and steaming). Seems to be right, too. Joseph Kearns, Gale Gordon, Walter Mathau… all resting under the cornfield. Watch your ass, Don Rickles!

S-M – The radioactive spider that bit Peter Parker also gave him the incredible power of guessing what people on TV would say next. He’d have taken his act to MST3K, but with great power came great responsibility, so he’s lounging on the couch today instead.

RwO – Funny today! (Monty too.)

Yesterday’s MG&G – Farley joke! (Mibbitmaker pointed this out as well, but it didn’t get a whole lot of play, so I’m pointing it out to anybody who didn’t read it.)

Shmork @36 – Step three: Profit!
Inspector Dim
August 1st, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

Cathy “Family resemblance” is just a fancy way of saying “Guisewite can’t draw different-looking people.” In fact, the only thing that distinguishes Cathy is those horribly deformed eyes of hers.

Frazz ~~Calvin~~ Frazz appears to be about ready to beat that kid with his bat. Do it for Hobbes!
Kip W
August 1st, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

FOOB – Thinking about Becca’s sweaty garments in the last panel has probably taken the keen edge off “Little John’s” happy state. He’ll still be filling a cavity in his fist tonight, of course, but he’ll have to incorporate a shower and fresh underwear into his fantasies (nothing in there about “April fresh” scent — he’s not a monster!).
man behind the curtain
August 1st, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

MW — “Hey just stay away from all the Dr. Corys until I make my choice. Dr. Cory the Elder, Dr, Cory the Younger, or Dr. Cory the Woman.”
Squawk
August 1st, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

I’ll give Popeye some credit. Yes, it’s completely nuts and idiotic, but unlike most zombie strips that can only muster lame sight gags or recycle bland chestnuts (Archie, Nancy, Beetle Bailey, Snuffy Smith, etc.), it has at least a genuine cartoonish quality in the sense that it looks like it’s drawn by somebody who has real psychological problems and needs help, badly.
Keg of Curd
August 1st, 2007 at 8:27 am [Reply]

I’ve never seen anyone even mention Buckles, but the dog is cute and the second panel made me feel terrible for him.
Nuveena
August 1st, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

#13 TeacherPatti: Thank you for that. I thought I was going nuts from remembering that FC from a long ago collection. My mom also used to buy them for me.
AAckTTpth
August 1st, 2007 at 8:30 am [Reply]

Before Comics Curmudgeon (BCC), I never realized how much punching there was in the daily funnies. Now, After Comics Curmudgeon (ACC), I see how the comics are a daily slugfest. Makes SpikeTV and the Action Movie Channel look like an Merchant-Ivory production.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

Actually, Hoppy the boxer seems to be throwing a very poor punch, hammering the heavy bag with the side of his hand rather than actually hitting the bag with his fist. And usually you try to guard your face with your other hand, even if the bag can’t hit back. Although with a face like that, he might welcome a few blows to give it some character.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 1st, 2007 at 8:46 am [Reply]

GT: Issues with footwork, yes. But it’s Bill’s deep-seated psychological issues that will really take him to the top.

MW: “Dr Cory the Younger”? The only way she should be calling him that is if she’s a Latin scholar and he’s been dead for 2500 years.

A3G: The Praying Margo prepares to devour its mate.

SSmith: The other problem with girls is that they’re forty-year-old male dwarves in pinafores.

Big Dog: “So guess what, Phil? You’re Marmaduke’s bitch now. Enjoy the ride.”

H7J: Source of trichinosis outbreak found.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 1st, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

#47, Squawk.
It’s funny because it’s true.
Calico
August 1st, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

DtM – after 40 years of the D, I’m immune to the Bead o’ Sweat®, but what gets to me today is that Mr. Wilson has a rather Winkerbeanian expression on his face.

Josh’s comment reminds me of the Lio Giant Ant Farm parody, with a huge ant duking it out with Dennis The Mantis.

FOOB – so Becky’s pheromones are firmly implanted in her gross, sweat-and crotch-stained stage clothes. I think Ozzy, Kiss, and Metallica would be sweet-smelling compared to her. Ugh.
Ever heard of Dry Cleaning, Becks? These shops ARE strategically placed across Canada, you know.
AtomicDog
August 1st, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Archie – Is Moose running in a circle?
britbike
August 1st, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

#38–I don’t remember exactly who she was, but she lived with her sister next door to Crankshaft, and they were both nice. Eventually she deteriorated to the point where she had to go to a “home.” The remaining sister moved out, which is where the young full-of-themselves city couple came in. This old lady has apparently always been mean and sour, and Son is just trying to do his duty by her.
Wellsey
August 1st, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

S-M Is Peter Parker gay? The last two days he’s had this fey head turn that I can’t imagine a straight guy ever doing on purpose. Or twice. It’s just as well MJ is going back to Hollywood where she’ll cheat on him with twenty different stars in the course of the next few months before finding “true love” on the set of her sequel and divorcing Spidey once and for all.

SFx Bill, how do you expect us to not fiddle with your creations when you make them so easy for us to photoshop into disgustingness? Sometimes a tongue depressor is just not a tongue depressor.

RMMD Hurry you two! Hugh needs you to help him! So take all of your clothes off! Why does this whole storyline section seem like a soft core complete with chicka wocka soundtrack?

Phantom The Mori are using the boat oars against automatic weapons?? Suuuuu-ure.

MW “Mary! I’ve ‘ridden horseback’ for several weeks now. I’m in love!! I’ve already picked out the caterer, the flowers and the dresses! — I wonder how he feels about me…”

MT Comic world: “You know you’re going to jail for this!” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now move!”
Real world: “You know you’re going to jail for this!” BLAM!

JP God, these two. It’s like watching a bad Remington Steele episode. Hopefully without the romance.

FOOB: April, it’s 4AM. SHUT UP!

FC:Bwahahahaha! You know why she wouldn’t take up much room? She’s shorter than the ground clearance between the chassis and the road! Hell, stick her in the glove box!

A3G: I liked yesterday’s better. Something about that doorbell going RING! RING! RING! you just knew it was Margo at the door. A little bit of her is in everything she touches!
Idols of Mud
August 1st, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

Popeye. Bessie. August 2. One must fall.

So let me see if I understand this correctly: Popeye against Bluto, a man twice his size with a huge chest, powerful arms and psychotic demeanor? No problem. Popeye against a bovine creature bred to eat grass, submit to periodic milkings and get fat? Concede the world to the cows and rebuild human civilization underground.
Calico
August 1st, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

3G – Margo, maybe if you give Eric a quick Pip he’ll loosen up and relax.

Same for Wilbur, Dawn.

RM – Great, June – you say that Hugh can’t hear – then continue talking right to him! Are you assuming he learned how to read lips at Boarding School?
CrabbyGenes
August 1st, 2007 at 8:56 am [Reply]

In my eagerness to catch up today after returning from the airport, I read and commented on various things in the Family Reunion thread BEFORE I realized that everyone had migrated over to this one.

Rather than necropost it all, I will just direct you to #182 through #186 on that thread.

And now, I’m going to bed. See ya tomorrow, when I will be waking up to the start of a new era in my life. Really. Both my girls are in college now. It’s kinda lonely around here….
Tweeks_Coffee
August 1st, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

#56 – britbike:

Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I had only seen a trip or two of that arc and mixed up the old people.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

And you all thought she was just another old lady… sorta kinda SFW, just a little suggestive maybe.

Ladies and gentlemen, the truth is revealed.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Funky Cancerbean and Pasty White Folks 2 are in the penciling stage, probably won’t get to them until at least tomorrow.

Mary was a pleasure to visually snark, words I never thought I’d see or say together: “Mary” “Pleasure” “Visually”.

*shudders uncontrollably*

Gah!
red gone wrong
August 1st, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

(long time lurker, first time commenter)

Josh! I have to thank you for getting me hooked on the insanity that is Popeye!

Because wow. Has anyone made the bad ‘mad cow disease’ pun yet? Or is that possibly where Popeye is going with this? I haven’t been following the strip long enough to guess.

Dick Tracy, on the other hand, leaves me with a vague sense of confused dissatisfaction. Kind of like the first time I got felt up in junior high. (sorry, too much information?)

Will their circuitous conversation ever end? Or will they fritter away the hours like the talking heads on all-news networks (speaking with great urgency but saying nothing of substance) while Baron carries out his obsolete mission?

Actually, what could save this storyline is if they *did* stand around and talk for weeks, secure in the knowledge that the Baron, trapped in his own fantasy world, can do no more harm than a mime as he goes about building an imaginary bomb and planting it in a building that was demolished years ago.
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Credit Where Credit is Due, Yesterthread edition:

Yay, Fizzy Logic! Welcome back!

And Jamus! I’ve missed your dispatches from Dick Tracy’s sick mind!

Lynngineering: Another brilliant analysis of the Horror that is FOOB.

Trotzenbonnie: Thanks to all the excellent advice you received here, I’m sure you will do just fine at your son’s PhD defense. Seriously, congratulations to both of you.

Thanks to everyone for the Uranus jokes. They made my day already, and it’s only seven am!
Foobar
August 1st, 2007 at 9:16 am [Reply]

“Packaged” is the one thing a cow is not.
Bootsy
August 1st, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

Since everyone in Gil Thorpe has the same box-like head, why in Melkar’s name would they get their hair cut to accentuate it? Why?

Fizzy, welcome back!

Trotz, I think you should wear full body armor to assist in the defense of thesis. Or at least bring a shield.

Squid Countess (yeasterthread, I think). You’re right that no one should come to New Orleans in August or September unless they absolutely have to. In fact, the weather forecast here from April to October could be three words: “Hot. Might rain”.

There’s a 5k race here in April, and usually some guy from Kenya wins it. When they interivew him on the local news at the finish line, he invariably says some thing like, “Christ! This place is hot! I mean, I’m from friggin’ Africa, and I’m dyin’ here!”

Still, any Mudges coming here will be welcomed and feted, no matter the time of year. I’m not going anywhere (I hope). Big Sims, Trotz, anybody else?
Red Greenback
August 1st, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Truman A. Fable-…the plywood horse-dancin’ Gary-Super Swan…I bow and scrape to you Sir.
Major Hooples Boarding House
August 1st, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan, MD?

Margo-Boxcar-Saturn!

I’d practically blow myself up too, if June Morgan would caress me!

(I already have tinnitus)
Bootsy
August 1st, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Also, Georgia is not so far away. Come on, Roopville Kid!
Trotzenbonnie
August 1st, 2007 at 9:20 am [Reply]

FBOFW – What the hell? ‘They’re not washable’? Listen, you little strummin’ strumpet, if moth-eaten, B.O. crusted, stained and funkified threads were good enough for Kurt Cobain, they should be good enough for you, you little no-I’m-not-a-has-been-I’m-not-Michael-Patterson-therefore-I’m-a-never-was?

And, True Fable, I wanna be you when I grow up. #62 was hilarious.
dreadedcandiru2
August 1st, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Funky Cancerbean: Day 2 of ‘I got your closure right here, sweetie.’ I got a bad feeling about this. Watch Darin pop the question in front of his dying birth mother.
Joe Btfsplk
August 1st, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

True Fable yester – I think Between Friends might be the one, yes. Thanks!
Lettuce
August 1st, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

Luann: I am LOVING these classic strips, their recycled dialogue, thier encepholytic heads… but my favorite thing is how the mom’s lipstick profile turned her into John Waters. It’s kind of hot.

What’s the story on why the art changed? Different artist brought on?
commodorejohn
August 1st, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

A3G – “Go away. I’m brooding.”

Archie – Jughead’s first line gives Mark Trail a run for its money in the “highly improbable sentences” department, but unlike Jack Elrod (I think,) the ALGJU3K is not a native English speaker, so we’ll let it slide.

BB – This is possibly the first time a piece of outside art has ever been incorporated into Beetle Bailey, and the effect is so nightmarishly jarring that I hope it’s the last.

Blondie – So…how did this joke get started, anyway? Does Dagwood hate the mailman, or is he over-excited to get his mail, or what?

Crankshaft – Josh beat me to it. Maybe I’ve been too hard on her. Maybe if I had a child who wanted to know my banking passwords, I’d want them to butt out too.

Curtis – oh my god yes

DT – So is Mysterious Russian Guy supposed to look Russian? Because he looks more like a Stereotypical Asian to me, except for the Tracy Rectangular Face aspect of it all. Also, someone knocked the cardboard Gretchen stand-in off balance in panel two.

FC – This might be funnier if she weren’t exactly the same size as all children in the Circusverse.

FOOB – The descent into Johnston’s delirious alternate reality continues. First this teenage girl gets super-ultra-famous before she’s even out of high school (come on, even Michael Jackson got into the business because of his older brothers,) then she somehow gets jealous of the girl with the most horrifyingly manipulative mother ever (hint: O.J. Simpson’s kids probably wouldn’t trade lives with April,) and then it’s revealed that her costumes are not washable. What, that 80s Jazzercise Wonder Woman outfit is going to melt if you put it in the dryer? Bullshit. Lynn’s just hallucinating random Bad Things About Being Famous. I do like how Pater Patterson keeps going all bug-eyed, though.

FW – “Hi, birth mother! I’m Darrin, and this is my girlfriend who went roadside with me the other night.”

GA – Don’t give up, Slim! It has to be done!

GT – How’s about a parody of Weird Al’s “That Boy Could Dance?”

H&L – Trixie The Menace.

JP – So what, precisely, is the Evil Plot here? We’re getting all this sinister foreshadowing, but I don’t see what’s so ominous about finding a lake underneath your vineyard.

Luann – Geez, Luann used to be quite the pudgy sort.

MT – AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGH!!!!!!! Also, Sam overlooks the possibility that he’s doing this for recreational purposes.

MW – Really creepy, but since Mary’s so big on anyone with Dr. Jeff’s genes, I’m sure she’ll be all for this.

MC – Maureen is even cute when she’s sad.

OBH – She crazy.

RMMD – Yeah, just grab ahold of the ear that might have little bits of eardrum lying around in it. Nice job, Nurse.

SM – Is this amusing because it’s amusing, or amusing because it points out how often Spider-Man’s plot goes in circles?

Edison Lee – is absolutely and completely unfunny.
Maura
August 1st, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

MW: I just can’t deal with Dawn until she takes off that swim cap.
man behind the curtain
August 1st, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

RMMD- While spending time in the reformatory, violent delinquent Heather realizes that the best way for her to live the good life is as a nanny to the rich. So upon her release she is able to ingratiate herself into the Morgan family. While working for them she happens upon the wealthy , vulnerable, and old Milton Avery. Using the fake British persona she developed while playing Liza Doolittle in her reform school production of My Fair Lady, she easily sweeps Milton off of his feet and into the honeymoon suite. Immediately heather begins plotting her takeover of the Avery empire. Milton thinks it’s such an endearing quality that his former plebeian wife fixes him a lunch to take on board his flight to Europe that he doesn’t even realize that his sandwich is ticking until it is too late and the private jet is plunging into the North Atlantic. But along comes the dissolute Hugh Avery and Heather’s plan goes awry. Of course, she is able to recruit the unwitting June Morgan and clueless husband Rex to assist her in her plan to seize the Avery fortune but Hugh’s persistence creates a roadblock. Turning on her feminine charms to entice her stepson, heather realizes that she is in competition with June in that department. So she reverts to what she knows best, falling back onto that high school chemistry bomb-making course only to be tripped up by Hugh’s remote control car starter. So now as she must search for a new plan will she be able to continue to dupe the Morgans or will Abby the Wonder Dog figure it all out and save the day?
rich
August 1st, 2007 at 9:44 am [Reply]

“They’re not washable!” …coupled with John’s horrified look. A semen joke?!
Original Lee
August 1st, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Trotzenbonnie, if you’re still with us – Sorry – check out #193 on yesterthread. Good luck and have fun!
Lynngineering
August 1st, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

FBOFW: The drive continues, endless going nowhere because sure enough, Model Railroad conductor John is at the wheel.

No other comic comes close to the Patterson fetishes, now we can add “sweating bodies” to the smelly / pooping kids, bathroom hurling, open mouthed bawling, and more, much more, like Elly’s whole litany from the ‘changes’ period.

Just to add onto my yesterthread commentary, in Michael’s fantasy, obviously no Patterson can ever imagine what is driving Becky onstage, what she is hungry for. Instead, April — at her age — just imagines that clothes can not be washed. How… ELLY. She never heard of drycleaning costumes, because this isn’t April, this is Michael’s fantasy, channeling Mother Elly, to lay punishment on “bad” Rebeccah. That Queen who would only watch the show and think about who washes the costume. The Queen of shaving sheets, could never imagine drycleaning because she has nothing requiring it.

At this point, the way the defensive “smelly” scenario is going, obviously Michael’s fantasy is getting blocked from getting to the obviously desired April-Becky 4evah kiss. Should that have occured, “April Beckster” would emerge, and the Patterson world would implode.
FreshHell
August 1st, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Apparently you are a plugger if your mother is an entirely different species. Teenaged son is clearly a dog. Mom is either a rabbit or a kangaroo. Or possibly a hybrid. Rabboo? Kangatit? Either way, creep city.
Fightin Vague Shape
August 1st, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

MW: He’s older than you by about a dozen years? What about a score? Of course, when you’re in love and speaking pretentiously, it probably only seems like a fortnight.
Kip W
August 1st, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

DT – “His embedded instruction chip is still active!” And ditto and dot miss him.
Harold
August 1st, 2007 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Popeye and Blondie both made me laugh today. I need to go lie down.
Jim Meadows
August 1st, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

The Bud Sagendorf Popeye strips were nuts, and that’s why I like them. I was only able to see them occasionally. But one day in 1976, when Sagendorf was still drawing the strip, I picked up a paper that carried Popeye, and clipped out the May 14th installment, just because it was so strange.

In that strip, a group of people are talking to Popeye at his backyard fence …
MAN: We’re your neighborhood friends and we’d like you to know that we HATE you!
Popeye: It ain’t MY fault an evil vampire moved next door to me!!

The second panel actually weaves this exchange into a continuing plotline involving the Sea Hag and her vampire cousin. But what impressed me was that dialog in the first panel, totally absurd, and not ashamed of it, either.

The only new Popeye strips these days are Hy Eisman’s Sunday pages, which the local newspaper here occasionally prints in their weekly shopper. He might as well be drawing Blondie, for the gags he uses. Bobby London, who drew the strip in the late 80s, didn’t live up to the promise of his Dirty Duck pages in the National Lampoon. I’m too young to have seen the original Segar Popeye strips, but the Bud Sagendorf strips were a worthy successor.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
August 1st, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

“Bud Sagendorf” and “Hy Eisman” are two of the best cartoonist names ever.

Also, perhaps I’ll repost this link from the wee hours of last night. I’m not sure who’s responsible for these surprisingly amusing quickly-drawn cartoons; all I know is that a friend of mine posted the link on his Facebook page.
Old Bean
August 1st, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

The problem with Dennis the Menace is that the title is open to misinterpretation. ‘The Menace’ is actually just the Anglicised form adopted by the Marquis le Menasse, a cruel aristocrat who fled to America on the eve of the French Revolution. The strip chronicles the childhood of Dennis ‘the Menace’, his last surviving descendant. Any ‘menacing’ that occurs is pure coincidence, The strip is more concerned with questions of historical guilt and how we atone for the sins of our forefathers.

Of course, the main dramatic irony is that Mr Wilson is a descendant of Dr Joseph-Ignace Guillotin. The beads of sweat indicate his internal struggle as he weighs the horrible slaughter wrought by his ancestor’s invention against the undeniable joy of watching Dennis’ head pop off like a champagne cork.
Calico
August 1st, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

#62 True –
Awesome.
commodorejohn
August 1st, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

#85 Jim Meadows – Scan, please. I want to print that out and hang it on my wall.

ATTENTION: I just sent the following message to the Coffee Talk section on the FOOBsite. Let’s see if it gets printed.

I’d just like to know why it’s so cool when Michael achieves fame and fortune through his novel-writing, and yet when Rebecca is building an apparently successful music career, we’re supposed to think “oh, you poor thing!” Okay, so apparently her dad is overbearing as a manager; that happens, sure. It happened with the Jackson Five. But they pulled through in the end, didn’t they? I can understand why we’re supposed to pity Rebecca for having to deal with her dad, and here’s hoping that works out better in the end, but Lynn seems to be driving at a “fame is bad” message that’s inconsistent with the adoration heaped on Michael. Is it or is it not a good thing to be rich and famous?
prawnboy
August 1st, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

I notice that today’s Blondie begins with a mailman pointing at a mailbox and asking “what’s this?”
T. Chicana
August 1st, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Foob:
John: “Costumes?? What KIND of costumes?”
April: “Becky’s costumes have horrible B.O…”
John: “What’s wrong with that? Mmm! Mmmfff!”
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Hold the presses, got the August Foob newsletters up!

Michael’s – It’s as if Lynn is trying to do damage control on her characters, but it isn’t working. He mentions putting a cassarole in the oven, as if he’s contributing to the running of the household. A fuckin’ cassarole. Borrowed from his mother, I’ll bet.
“So far, we have had few nightmares about taking on this wonderful responsibility. I guess having children is the most important decision to make…after that, everything else is a piece of cake.” – you guess? You GUESS, Michael? Shit man, you don’t know.
He also mentions how successful Gordon and Weed are. Paycheck envy. He also put this about April: “April hasn’t lived there long enough to feel at home, yet, but I think she’ll come around. She’s starting to get itchy feet and thinks often about going to school. According to her, vet medicine is still on the top of her list. Her latest epistle from the farm described in detail the neutering of a number of male animals. I fear her now more than ever!” Dude, no worries… if you’ve got no balls to begin with, you won’t be wethered. End of problem, asshat, you’re safe.
“I am working, still on the second novel. Despite my good luck at getting my first book published so quickly, a writer rarely becomes an overnight success and those who do, may never duplicate their triumph!” Backtrack City! Way to CYA, Lynn.
“Carleen still works with, and lives with, Jo. They seem to be well suited for each other. Marriage and kids are not in the cards for them. They come over once in a while just to make sure!” …because they see the hell Dee is going through putting up with Michael, they will NEVER get married. Good plan.
Elly’s letter Get this:” We do, of course, want to get April’s basement apartment all set up for her. There’s a possibility that we could use it as income property when she’s moved out of the house, and that works out well for all of us, including any potential future tenants – if we put the apartment together with the intent of letting our daughter live in it, we won’t be tempted to cut corners like some landlords do, when it comes to fixtures and locks and the general quality of the renovations.” So April will NEVER be able to come home again. Go ahead and say it, Elly, you money hungry, child-hating BITCH.
“Speaking of clean, my house is so organized! It’s wonderful. I absolutely love having less “stuff”. So much so that I’m considering moving to a yurt. If I could just live off the land…” What the hell is a yurt? And if you could just live off the land LIKE SHELAUGH SHANASTY! She wants to make certain Mike still worships her.
And Elly kisses ass: “The party [at Liliput's] was great – it was a little bittersweet in some ways, since it’s the likely end of a ten-year publishing juggernaut. Still, as a former bookseller and total novel junkie, I’d like to give Ms. Rowling a huge hug for getting so many little kids into reading big books for pure pleasure.” Damn it, if Lynn plans to write a book, she’d better damn well do a better job than what she does in her strip and in these ass lickin’ letters.
“You know, I’m sitting here looking out my new front window. The one thing I haven’t gotten used to yet, is the view from the window. We’re overlooking totally different neighbours. After so long at our old place, we’d really gotten to know the routines of the folks across the road, even though we didn’t pay such close attention. The new view is still mysterious and unfamiliar! Of all things to feel homesick about, it’s strange that I’d miss idly observing the day-to-day business of people we barely knew.” THREE HOUSES DOWN? What, did the Pattersons live in a fucking bubble for the past thirty years?

I’m gagging, going to stop with those two. I might work a little more on Pasty White Folks 2 and then turn in for the day and hope I get some sleep.

Yes, Lynn, I’m going to bed. Whine all you want to, bitch, I’m not letting you in.
commodorejohn
August 1st, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

#91 T. Chicana – There’s an image I did not need in my head. I wonder if any of those websites are linked in his letters?
commodorejohn
August 1st, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

#92 True Fable – This is a yurt.
NinaPetrovna
August 1st, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

In the course of trying to find today’s Apt. 3-G, I came across this very useful description courtesy of King Features, which I append here for everybody’s reading pleasure. It’s a bit like a FOOB coffee chat testimonial, actually, and so wildly inaccurate that it’s funny.

“[Creator] Dallis realized that he could not rely upon tried-and-trite stereotypes. With his keen insight into human nature, he created three women with whom his readers could identify because of their humanity, their strength and the truth of their portrayals. Sharing a New York apartment has enabled these three unmarried career women to come together in a place of strength, to meet head-on the challenges they face every day, and to become more than friends and closer than sisters… Whenever readers feel they need a friend, they know they can always find one in Apartment 3-G. ”

I can’t decide which I like better– “to come together in a place of strength,” or “more than friends and closer than sisters.” This is what feminism sounds like when it’s parroted by a male psychologist in 1961, I suppose. The same one who created RMMD, by the way.
Dingo
August 1st, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Perhaps it’s just the meds kicking in but in today’s Mary Worth I would like to believe that the man walking past Mary and Dawn is carry a medium-sized meteorite over to the Charterstone pool to cause enough damage that no aquatic parties may be held there for a year.

I love that Mary has to ask Dawn which Dr. Cory it is with whom she’s in love. Lord knows that if an Alexis-Crystal mud-slingin’ match broke out between Mary and Dawn over a man, Mary would win.

Dawn Weston had better have a good mechanic. If Mary thought she was going after her Dr. Cory, an inconvenient moment may happen out on the old quarry road as Dawn attempts the curve.
Steve S
August 1st, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Would it be like the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object if Coach Kaz, who can stick his arm all the way down a man’s throat, tried to punch that head-swallowing cow? Or would it just be like two batshit insane comics running into each other and upping the insanity just a touch more?
Joe Btfsplk
August 1st, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

D the M – At first I thought that Dennis was the one speaking the dialog there. If you read it that way, he comes across as slightly more menacing, maybe. He’s not bothering to even feign innocence now, brazenly addressing his elders by first names as he barges in bringing misery to their lives. But now I see that it’s George talking, and the effect is lost.

The last time I can remember Dennis actually being a menace was a few weeks or months ago, when he vandalized Mr. Wilson’s car.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 10:26 am [Reply]

# 94 commodorejohn – Yurts are cute! I like yurts!

“Hello, Century21? I’m looking for a yurt. Wha – excuse me for what, what’d I do? What – oh. No no, I meant to say yurt. Yeah. No, that’s quite all right. So I want this yurt, see. Just one. No…n-no, sprinkles aren’t extra. Oh great, I need a realtor and I get a fucking Patterson.”

I still like the yurts, thanks for the link!
T. Chicana
August 1st, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Dingo, you’re so right. If Dawn really went after the old Dr. Cory, it would be ON! And Dawn wouldn’t have a prayer. I sort of wish that’s what was happening. Like, maybe Dr. Cory, Sr. realized that “riding” with Dawn beats the biddy-dates at the Bum Boat by a country mile!
Gal Friday
August 1st, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

JP: Having that pig-tailed Dr. Spock go on and on about environmental date makes me wistful for Cedric the Butler, back in Paris, battling street punks. Let’s go back to Paris!
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Secret Margo: I just caught your ballot-stuffing plea, and I stuffed the ballot as you requested, even though I do love Pickles. It was fun. I got to describe myself as a 54-year-old homemaker, a title that always makes me think I should be handy with a hammer and nails.

DTGT: Curiously, I don’t want to know how or why that kid chopped his leg off with a chainsaw. This being Gil Thorp, I’m assuming it was something like “to impress his girlfriend.” Or “because he couldn’t find a barky-log to beat himself on the back of the head with.” Mainly, I just want to get back to the adventures of Gail Martin and the pearl-bob wearing puncher.
Allie Cat
August 1st, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

FW – It’s important that Jessica meet with Lisa -because when she turns up preggers from last month’s bow-chica-bow-bow, she’s going to need the sage advice of someone who’s been there before her.
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

DT —

I’m having a little trouble following this storyline. A little exposition now and again would help. Plus there are so many characters! I’m waiting for the onset of a 1:1 Baron to smokestack ratio, but I’m afraid he’d clog it like teabags crammed in a shower drain.*

*An ex-boss actually did this to her ex-husband who got to keep the house. Hee!

MT —

“This time you won’t get loose!”

Tomorrow’s strip:

“D’oh! How did you …?? OK, this time you really won’t get loose! Stupid ropes.”

Welcome back, fizzy logic! Actually, I thought we were just in different orbits as I’ve been in and out lately myself. At least I now know I didn’t miss any of your delicious snark. Chalk another one up to the Summer of the Missing Curminions.

#102 The Divine O’F –

I was going to explain the chainsaw accident, but I see you have your own [better] reasons for its occurrence. I’ll just say it did not involve juggling.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Dawn: Yea verily Mary, I am smitten, my heart is scarcely mine, I love another!
Mary: Blessing upon thee. Be he a fellow pupil at the University?
Dawn: Nay Mary.. in truth it is Dr. Drew Cory the Younger, hath he a dozen years my age, speak not of this to Pater Wilber, I beseech thee!
Mary: Drew Cory? Strange and manifold are the ways of the Heart!
MossMoses
August 1st, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

This “lao niu chi nen cao” (old cow eats tender grass) question is quite the moral dilemma. One thing that they have in common is the same Chinese birth animal, being twelve years apart.

If Dawn were truly in love, she wouldn’t care about the age difference and certainly wouldn’t be looking to confide in her meddling biddy neighbor. She must be knocked up. We have seen the stiff and awkward sideways spit swapping foreplay and can safely assume there was additional horseplay which followed. “Oh Mary, how will we raise our love child without being married”?
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

Bats: thanks for commenting on my blog. Bats and Mountain Mama and other AZ Curminions:

How about th 15th of September (a Saturday). That seems far enough away to give everyone a chance to plan. We can keep mentioning it in the comments, and maybe draw a crowd of four or five….
Jym
August 1st, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

=39= Popeye (Gabe): They look very Thimble Theatre because they’re drawn by Bud Sagendorf, who was one of E.C. Segar’s assistants back in the day, and the one who ended up doing the strip long-term after Segar died.

=51= (DT)GT (Anonymous): Boxing style is very different in the Thorpiverse, as can be seen in this dramatic reënactment.
SecretMargo
August 1st, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

102: Thanks! I was actually shocked at the generally non-groaner (No Edison Lee, for example) content of the contenders.

Other ‘Mudgies! Be like DO’F! Stuff a ballot for Lio!

My plea

Also, re: GT, your generic guesses are apt and accurate, but you forgot the one that applies in this case: “The unintentional homoerotic tension reached the breaking point and some thing had to give.”
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

92 TF: Thank you for reading the monthly letters so I don’t have to.

Pibgorn(WTF?) WTF?

Calvin & Hobbes: The classic is on my subscription, and I just have to say, there was never a better strip before or sense.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

106 MossMoses:
Lemee guess – Year of the Horse?
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Before or SINCE. WTF?
Dingo
August 1st, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good saddle, must be in want of a doctor.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

OK SecretM, I voted for LIO.
Isn’t this how Bush got elected in 2000/4?
Fightin Vague Shape
August 1st, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Pluggers: This strip is disappointing on a couple levels.
a) Plugger teens get disgruntled? I didn’t know they had the mental capacity. b) Wouldn’t a Plugger sprinkler system be, you know, rain?

GA: Derle has “Death Before Taxes” and “Bluegrass Rules” tattoos and he makes physics puns. Revel in the author’s audacity, people. Revel now!
Bootsy
August 1st, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

# 92, I (heart) Mr. Truman Fable.
thehmain
August 1st, 2007 at 11:48 am [Reply]

I hate to seem like an idiot, but does anyone get the joke in Adam today? It makes no sense to me.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

#116 Bootsy – shucks, m’am *kicks instep* Ah hart yew tew!
AhClem
August 1st, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

#102 divine O’F -
You’re pretty close. He actually cut off his leg to impress Jodie Foster.

JP – I consider myself fairly green and environmentally-aware. However, a couple more days of that smug little shit yammering on about global warming and I swear, I’m going to trade in my little Toyota for a Hummer and turn the A/C in my house down to 55 degrees.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

Bootsy,
We (me, my wife and the boys) will be coming into town from the 9th-11th, but it’s gonna be GrandchildFest 07. I don’t envision much Mudge meeting during that time, I agree with you and Squid Countess – too damn hot, but my wife and I might go out and if we do, we’ll post when and where here, oh hell my email is rogan54@comcast.net , drop me a line if you want to meet us for a drink.
El Santo
August 1st, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

Popeye: Hmmm, I know I’ve read of a man-eating cow somewhere, but I’m not sure if it’s a reference to Homer’s literature or the movie Kung-Pow!: Enter the Fist.

Anyway, Australia, huh? That’s where people walk on their hands, and hamburgers eat people!
Perky Bird
August 1st, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#115 re: Pluggers: I always thought a Plugger sprinkler system was either (A) Grampa Plugger’s enlarged prostate, or (B) Uncle Plugger after downing a couple of six-packs of Pabst’s Blue Plugger.
rich
August 1st, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Continuing the “Be afraid…” theme, I’m working my way through the August FOOB letters.

Okay, Slylock, spot the clues! How do we know that this phony baloney letter was not really written by John Patterson? –

“There’s one young man down the street who has spent a couple of years working on his sportscar – and it’s a real work of art! …He put a huge spoiler on the back…added all kinds of other amazing stuff to it… there’s no other car like it on the road in Milborough…It’s your original souped-up grocery getter… I wonder if his parents are embarrassed to have it in their driveway.”

IT??? IT?!?!?

Since when has Dr. P ever referred to a car as an “it”? The word is “she”!! Isn’t it common knowledge that cars are ladies??
Gal Friday
August 1st, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

109–vote in for Lio
Lorasz
August 1st, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – Maybe I’ve just been watching too much TV, but today’s strip is just a crankier version of a Chevy Chase Bank commercial that’s been running incessantly here. Great job Batiuk/Ayers. FW redoes Seinfeld on Monday, and now you’re illustrating bank commercials.
Just_human
August 1st, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

I don’t have FW on rss feed, so I rarely look at it, but was curious to see what was happening there, so I went back a week to start from there, and I have to admit, I thought the letter from the Ohio Dept. of Health was going to be informing him he had AIDS.
man behind the curtain
August 1st, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

A3G — Margo hasn’t realized that Eric’s true love is himself. ither that or he’s planning a fishing trip with Rex Morgan.
Pelagius
August 1st, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Lio = the same damn joke every day. It gets old fast
AhClem
August 1st, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#123 rich -
That would be interesting. I’ve never seen a 1973 AMC Gremlin with a spoiler before.
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

#99 – Mr. Truman Fable – if you like yurts, many state parks here in the PNW (that’s pacific northwest for those not familiar) have them available for rent – with electricity and bunks and fun stuff like that. Bring the family!

Squid Countess, Poteet, Divine O’F, Bootsy, gh – thanks so much for your enthusiastic welcomes back! I’m glad to be home….

SecretMargo – I had no idea that you hailed from the inland empire. I love the pine trees and the topography around there. And Ceour d’Alene, too. It’s Spo-can, people, not Spo-cane. Think: “Thus spoke Anne”. You’d be doing SecretMargo a disservice if you pronounced his hometown incorrectly. And vote early and vote often.

One last (non comic) thing – Divine O’F – remember a million yesterthreads ago when Josh was in NYC getting his car towed and we were BSing about our nearsightedness? This morning it dawned on me that my contact lens prescription was probably much milder than my glasses ’scrip, (as they are actually in contact with my eyes). So I pulled out the glasses Rx: -7.5 & -9.75. I can’t remember between you and HBGlord, but I think that comes very close to being the blindest of them all. Anything nearing -10 should come with a white cane, I think. Of course, being a dog person, I’d much prefer a handsome dog named Champ. Or Scooter. Just thought I’d pass that along.

Back to work for me….
Lollipoparooza
August 1st, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Damn it, Josh!!! Everytime you feature Popeye, I get sucked into its Dada-esque storylines! I don’t want to read Popeye, but then I didn’t want to read Mark Trail, Mary Worth and Funky Winkerbean either, and yet here I am.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
August 1st, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#117 thehmain — Re today’s Adam:

I don’t think you’re missing anything; I think the joke is one of those “gentle” ones that ends up not being especially funny.

Possible explanations:

(1) Fast food isn’t known for being healthy, but this particular fast food joint has eliminated trans fats — a step regarded as “healthy”. This contrast is supposed to be intrinsically funny.

(2) Adam specifically asked for something containing trans fats, which is supposed to be intrinsically funny.

(3) Because the restaurant eliminated trans fats, there is now nothing on the menu whatsoever, but they still keep their drive-thru open.
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

#467 [threads and threads ago] Skullturf Q. Beavispants –

As recent charter member, I nominate you for Recording Secretary of the Fred Bassett Fan Club. Anyone second?
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#130 fizzy –

If your glasses and contacts are prescribed for the same purpose, they ought to have the same prescription (in your case, correcting hella too much corneal curvature). The difference is the glasses get two optical surfaces to do it with, while the contacts get only one.

But yeah, you win.
TeacherPatti
August 1st, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

#15: Yes! Eye bulging–creepy.

#49–I actually still have some of my Family Circus books. One winter break, I reread all of them (I was really, really bored). :)
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#131 LPR –

Damn it, Josh!!! Everytime you feature Popeye, I get sucked into its Dada-esque storylines!

Yeah, this is gonna be another damn Gil Thorp, where we all learn who Bill Ritter is, and understand Coach Kaz’s backstory. Or Slylock Fox. Or Dick Tracy.

Damn you, Josh!!!
nobody
August 1st, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Liz’s August letter finds her growing pot in her apartment.

Plus, her “date” at the wedding had a medical condition and fell asleep after a couple of glasses of wine.

uh-huh

yeah

right

I will try that the next time I tie one on at a wedding. I could always say I was allergic to something and that is why I blew chow into the punch bowl.
Tabby
August 1st, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#123 In one of my lives, I became aquainted with this rather cool guy who had been in the car biz for about 1,000 years. He was a very down-to-earth kind of person, so I was suprised to hear him tell that cars have personalities – good and bad. Some like you and some don’t. He refered to some as “he’ and others as “she”. I did not know these things, but I have had cars that ran and ran (mostly they were the ones with the last names Honda or Toyota) and others that just never quit chewing up parts and laying down at the worst moments. I still don’t refer to them as “he” or “she”, but I do speak nicely to them and give them fresh oil infusions every 3,000 without fail!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
August 1st, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

#133 gh — I am honoured, and also quite amused that your post was almost concurrent with one where I spoke of ” ‘gentle’ [jokes] that [end] up not being especially funny.”
BlinkAndItsOver
August 1st, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

FC: “Mommy, can Kathy go on vacation with us? She wouldn’t take up much room, and her skill with the deadly bolo might come in handy in the Amazonian headwaters.”
Anonymous
August 1st, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

April’s August online fan letter:

I know many of you have been wondering about my fetsh sniffing Bec’s soiled panties. Well, daddy told me it’s perfectly normal – he’s been doing it for years with mine and Liz’s (not with mom’s granny panties, though – ICK!)

I’m heading off to the farm in Edmonton this week. I’ll let you know where my uncle stands on the panty whiffing issue. I can’t wait to see the horses. I expecially like the stallion’s with their enourmous….
El Santo
August 1st, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

RMMD; Oh, man, Hugh’s going to get some action tonight! Look at his face. You know behind that mask of fake-pain, he’s thinking, “Yes, stroke my face…. Now a little lower…. a little lower….”
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

#139 Skullturf Q. Beavispants –

“Tis the zen of FB at work, I say.
Trotzenbonnie
August 1st, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

The Divine O’F!
I STRONGLY urge you to peruse the Gil Thorp archives on this site:
http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/custom/gilthorp/
I would tell you exactly when the chainsaw incident happened (Hint: Nov. of 2006) but looking through the old strips was one hell of a crazy ride and I don’t want to spoil it for you. I am dead serious. I haven’t looked at Zippy in a week because Gil Thorp is so much more surreal. It’s true – there’s no zealot like a convert.

Big Sims – Yes, it’s hot in New Orleans. Why the hell do you think God invented mojitos? The weather down here is positively luxurious and I wouldn’t go back to those cold NY winters for anything. (Although the heat really supersizes the cockroaches. They’re so big I can see them crossing the street when I’m driving home at night. Ew.)

And thanks to all for the words of engouragement and good wishes re: my rotten kid, The Jeff Spicoli of Intelligentsia.
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#134 – Uncle Lumpy – Once again I bow to your infinite knowledge. All I know is that I can see much better with my contacts than with my glasses, and they do serve the same purpose: to keep me from running into things. And having things not run into me. And not falling down.
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

‘, not “. Stupid shift key.
katherine
August 1st, 2007 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

TDIET — perhaps Luglow doesn’t like the food because wifey evidently pre-digested it for him? (Urgh. I’m trying to say the food looks like poop. Of course, it looked like poop in the first panel too. Work with me here, I have a headache and it’s apparently diminished my already minor stock of wittiness).
Spotted HØrse
August 1st, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

#147 katherine: Perhaps the “chef” is none other than Cathy Guisewhite?
MarkMcgoo
August 1st, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Maybe it’s not a bead of sweat at all, maybe it’s a liver spot. Probably from all the drinking it takes to curb the pain of being George Wilson.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Trotzenbonnie –
Thanks for your replies, I haven’t had the time to craft a really good answer on what to wear or how to act at your sons PhD Defense. I tried to ask my little sister, Dr. Big Sims, on how she did it and what she wanted her guests to wear, but as a not yet tenured prof. she’s too busy to talk, much less answer the phone. It seems the rest of the ‘mudges took up the slack, and may I add my congratulations to you and your son. Have fun in B-more (please don’t barf Josh, I saw it on a bumper sticker in Essex) and we’ll meet in NO maybe St. Patrick’s Day
May a suggest a correction? God didn’t invent mojitos, Brazilians did, and Brazilians are by far more fun than God.
Mountain Mama
August 1st, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Before I forget, Trotz, have fun on your trip and I wish your son all the greatest good luck. Baltimore is a great town and I highly recommend Fells Point, though it’s been awhile since I was there.

AZ ‘mudges: Sept. 15 sounds great! I should be there.
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Trotz, yes! Have a great time in Baltimore and best wishes to the kid.

gh, seems we’re on at the same time. So, uh, what’s up?
Cedar
August 1st, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Elizabeth’s monthly letter:
I know, I’m avoiding “the subject”.

Elizabeth avoiding something? No f’ing kidding.

Have there been any articles about what’s going to happen with the FOOB monthly letters once the strip freezes? I ahte to say this, but I rather like reading them, and I hope they continue in real time.
Mountain Mama
August 1st, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

Once again, MW brings us more Stilted Dialogue Theater. Today’s edition is an excellent example of how people in 2007 Do Not Actually Talk.

Look as Mary says “fellow student at the university” instead of “someone from school”!

Gasp in awe as Dawn states “Dr. Cory the Younger,” like he was an ancient scholar, perhaps brought back to life through Mary’s hideous secret spells! Has anyone used that terminology to describe a living person in the past 100 years? No!

Yes, folks, it’s been a good day for Stilted Dialogue Theater! Come back tomorrow!
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT –

“Today in the Milford HS gym I spoke will Bill Ritter, the one-legged boxer, about his incredible punching power. He told me that his hero is George Foreman, whose training regimen involved chopping down trees to build up his arms. Bill says he owes his power not to an ax … but to a chainsaw. [sound of motor revving] These suckers are heavy! Much heavier than an ax. And in addition to cutting down trees, I also use one to do curls with. Watch! Unfortunately, at this point the saw slipped, severing Bill’s other leg. This is Marty Moon, WWTF sports.”
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Tabby (We Are) 138: The 3000 miles thing is a myth made by (gasp) lube shops. Your car’s manual should show how often you should actually change your oil (hint: usually less often than 3000 miles). My car, for instance, is every 7500.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

#145 fizzy –

I’ll confess to being a first-class optics snot. My biases and prejudices (deeply held but frequently baseless!) include these:

1. Soft contacts are the devil’s spawn; you’re asking for an infection. Disposables are OK but don’t seem frugal. Get gas-perms — optically better and they clean up properly.

2. Man, refractive keratoplasty (Lasik® and its brethren) gives me the creeps. Yes, resolution will improve, very dramatically. But contrast sensitivity may drop in a few marginal-visibility situations, and some patients will notice distortions (haloing, haze, starburst patterns). Computer-guided excimer-laser sculpting is much better than the old knifey methods. If you or a loved one have had this surgery, you’ve probably decided I’m an optical Luddite who’s been harping on this for thirty years without a shred of evidence. And you’re right!

3. Polycarbonate lenses (on glasses) are toys. If the weight bothers you, get high-index glass. Always get the anti-reflective coating, and don’t scrape it off: wet-clean only, using the cloth you got with the glasses.

4. You won’t regret a special pair of glasses (big lenses, middle-distance correction, no progression) for working at your display(s). But the real trick is to put a desk lamp behind your display so the onscreen and offscreen illumination are about the same. You won’t believe the reduction in eyestrain.

5. Advanced progressive lenses (like Varilux®) are worth the money when you reach a certain age. They take getting used to — but suck it up for a week; you won’t regret it. Aunt Lumpy didn’t!

6. “Bifocal contacts” are a lie. Get a pair of glasses for reading, and maybe a pair of progressives for driving (so you can read the gauges — but don’t spring for advanced progressives for this use).
MossMoses
August 1st, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

123. Rich, excellent point! Since when were there genderless cars in Foob? The dialog with cars in it is more like, “She’s a beaut, Gordo” or “She really purrs like a kitten. Take her for a spin”. Cars and cellphones are both female, which explains why (non Brokeback) cowboys love them. Maybe that souped up car is transgendered or neutered.
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

113 Dingo: Bwahaha!

130 fizzy logic: I think you DO win the white-cane sweepstakes. Congratulations! But you didn’t say if your contact prescription is less than your glasses one. BTW, I just got new glasses, and the prescription on both eyes is LESS than on the last one, the one I entered in the informal contest. (And where is HBGlord, by the way? Haven’t seen him around.) On the other hand, I now wear hearing aids, so I think I’m still in the running for Most Pitiable Poster.

144 Trotz: I have taken the link, and someday when I have more time and am feeling very strong I will peruse the DTGT archives. Thanks.

157 Uncle Lumpy: Good ophthalmological info. I have disposable lenses, and can hardly wear them at all anymore. Partly dry eye (helped by drinking lots of water) and part, I think, age. Just got new glasses, high-index, anti-reflective. Bifocals. I don’t want to mess with the graduated thingy. These are the first glasses that have EVER looked good on me. They are small, and so flat I can’t believe it, and hardly distort my eyes at all. Much less spherical distortion at the sides, but not as good for actually seeing as the contacts.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Thanks for the info on the Popeye strips. I shall enjoy this arc, at least for the art. I grew up on thimble theater books.

Speaking of, I once had two paperbacks of “modern” Popeye strips that doesn’t seem to have any connection to the present strip (more Gag a day). Anyone know what that was about? Off to wikipedia I suppose…

(I also had paperbacks of a Muppet
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

#152 fizzy logic –

fizzy logic! There, I said it. I thought you were working (as opposed to “working,” as I do), so didn’t want to bother you. Right. What’s up? Well, I just looked to my right and noticed a teensy spider on my spider plant. That’s the sort of madcap summer it’s been. That and putting my Spartacus wardrobe together. You must join us on Squid Countess’s porch. Trotzenbonnie is serving mint juleps.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

strip. Weird.)
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Lumpy: I wear disposables for months at a time. I rarely take them out. Not even at night.

I totally am asking for eye infection.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

#159 Divine O’F –

Yeah, those are the ticket. So much of what people don’t like about glasses are actually the reflections, not the distortions.

Nearsighted people often get some improvement as they age — the lenses shrink as they harden.

BTW, those OTC methylcellulose drops are good for dry eye.

#165 Gabe –

Yup. Gonna be awesome, too!
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

#159 The Divine O’F –

Bifocals? BWAHAHA! I’m up to trifocals, you amateur. But I agree about the graduated lenses. I had them once and trying to keep things in focus I ended up head-bobbling so much I looked like a bad Tommie impersonator.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

Excepts from John Patterson’s letter:
“There’s one young man down the street who has spent a couple of years working on his sportscar – and it’s a real work of art! I didn’t even recognize the make at first – he put a huge spoiler on the back, dropped the body so that it seems to be nearly touching the ground, added all kinds of other amazing stuff to it – including a stereo that’s so loud it’s probably loosening all of his dental work – and painted it purple and acid green. There’s no other car like it on the road in Milborough – probably because not many people would choose an elderly Saturn sedan as their ideal customizing car!!! It’s your original souped-up grocery getter. I wonder what his insurance is worth, how much he owes and if his parents are embarrassed to have it in their driveway.”

-Yo, a Miborough playa! Make em say HOOO! (my apologies to Master P). I know John’s a dentist and all, but doesn’t he mean “loosening all of his teeth?” I thought this was a young man, someone who wouldn’t have a lot of dental work, unless you count his gold grill, in keeping with the pimped ride I’d reckon.
Yes John his parents are terribly embarrassed of him, terribly embarrassed they aren’t Pattersons even. Mortified that their son doesn’t have Elly approved hobbies or interests. They’re hoping someone will order a meteorite off the internet and smash their son’s car with it, are you up to it John?

“One of my clients came in last week and brought me a great little book on South American railways. She spent a lot of time traveling through the continent doing missionary work and is very familiar with the vagaries of train travel in the area. Last time she was in the clinic for her cleaning, we had a discussion about Mexican trains-”

-Mexico is in North America. Remember NAFTA you dickweed? OK, on second reading, the book is about SA trains, the discussion was about Mexican trains. Clear as mud Lynn.
Paperback Rifler
August 1st, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Dang. Looks like most everything has been snarked out. Well, here goes anyway:

Rex Morgan: Geez, if Hughie keeps moaning about how everything’s his fault, then he’s not going to get treated to the hot-nurse-on-gold-digging-nanny action to which he would otherwise be entitled by getting flattened by a car bomb. Even worse, that means that WE won’t get treated to it, either! Dammit, Hugh! Stop your nurse-on-nanny-blocking jibber jabber right this instant!

Judge Parker: In that second panel, does it seem to anybody else that there’s a thick cloud of billowing, blue smoke spewing out from Sam’s backside? That could not possibly be good for the environment. No wonder Sophie’s sort of looking at him askance in the last frame.

Spider-Man: It’s too bad this strip isn’t all comedy all the time. Seriously, today’s strip is far more entertaining than the weeks of glacially slow-moving “action” that has gone before.

Shoe: What? Soccer mom-bird is going to “pick up some chicken for dinner”?! Isn’t Roz a chicken? Is soccer mom-bird going to whack her? Why, oh why does Shoe keep making its anthropomorphized birds talk about eating other birds?

Mark Trail: I like today’s installment because it has a little bit of everything: A damsel in distress! A gun-toting hillbilly! And, clearly visible in the distance over said gun-toting hillbilly’s left shoulder in the second panel, Bigfoot! I also like how “Buzzard” is sporting a Jack Elrod campaign button on his overalls. I didn’t even know that Jack was running for office!
smokie
August 1st, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

I’m with Squawk,
I found the Popeye strip funny.
Popeye seems oddly serene with his head in a cow’s mouth, the only sign he’s still alive is the question marks eminating forth.

Or perhaps the question marks are coming from the cow, trying to figure out why ugly human heads are cropping up in the field like bulbous weeds.
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

#164 Uncle Lumpy –

Nearsighted people often get some improvement as they age — the lenses shrink as they harden.

Thanks for that. I’ll file it under The Upside Side of Aging, right next to “fewer names to forget at the class reunion.”
Some Guy Here
August 1st, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

The most odd thing of all when I read the current Gil Thorp storyline is that Bill Ritter is [url=http://www.colorado.gov/governor/]the governor of my state[/url], so I’m just forced to imagine a gray-haired suit with punching gloves and a missing leg, all the while discussing his plans to shore-up state infrastructure.
katherine
August 1st, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

164 –I’m only 30 and my nearsightedness is already improving. By the time I’m 50, my lenses will have just shriveled away, I guess. Sigh.
Shlomo
August 1st, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

That cow is going down on Popeye’s head. What can top that?
SecretMargo
August 1st, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

87: Old Bean: I’d missed you, too, along with Lynngineering! Between the Coma Theory and the Marquis de Menasse Theory, I’ve begun to suspect every strip of masking a complex backstory that is only hinted at obliquely for fear of alienating the casual reader. For example, Marmaduke improves considerably once you realize that it is a metaphoric, hallucinatory reworking of the author’s experiences in a maximum security prison and the relationship he had with his by turns tender and abusive cellmate, The Marmalade Duke.
June Morgan's Larger Breast
August 1st, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Whoa, what’s up with Michael’s out of character declaration in the August letter: “Saturday MORNING!!!. I’m sitting at the picnic table in the back yard with my laptop and A BEER!!!!!!!!!!!” (emphasis courtesy of the breast). I don’t buy that for a minute. It’s probably a Kaliber poured into a Molson bottle.
odinthor
August 1st, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

#115 — FVS — A Plugger sprinkler system is . . . urination.

#121 — El Santo — Maybe you’re thinking not of a man-eating cow, but rather of the man-creating cow Auðumla (it’s spelled a number of different ways–and meantime you’ll notice that the word “eating” is actually subsumed in “creating”!!!, something which certainly gives me pause, if only to wonder why such things give me pause), of Scandinavian mythology. Infoplease puts it succiently: “Bör, the first man, was made by Audhumla licking salt from the snow. Odin was the son of Bör. The breath of Audhumla was very sweet, but her milk was bitter.” Now, one may wonder how licking salt from snow could create a human being, as at last count we seem to have a bounteous supply of humans coming right along by doing other things, and very few from snow-licking cows. Gail Martin alludes to Auðumla and this question in her plaintive ballad “West Covina Mid-Afternoons” in the tender lines “That man’s breath was sweet, but his *** was bitter/Then he walked down the hall and locked himself in the sh*tter.”
bats :[
August 1st, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

MW: It’s probably already been done (and it’s a cheap shot, but Mary is such a meddling old beyotch…):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/?saved=1
Doug Puthoff
August 1st, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

The Bill Ritter boxing storyline reminds of a Monty Python sketch. Unfortunately, there’s no chance of a knight in armour hitting bill with a rubber chicken to stop it.
Anomaly
August 1st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

FOOB – By the time the conversation stops, hopefully they will have driven far enough to end up in drowning in the Pacific.
bats :[
August 1st, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

J. K. Rowling to Lynn Johston: “Now, exactly who are you again?”
McManx
August 1st, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Those enjoying today’s Popeye comments may also enjoy comparing Sagendorf’s mad cow with Segar’s ill fated cow of a 1930s Sunday strip.
http://www.math.pitt.edu/~bard/bardware/popeye/popeye10c.gif
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

#161 – gh – I’m still in “work” mode, having come back from vacation and somehow successfully shifted much of my work to others while I was gone. I don’t know how it happened, it’s never happened before. I’m trying to keep a low profile around here for the time being, until all hell breaks loose again. I am so there on the porch with you, Trotz, and the Countess of Squid. Mojitos are good. I also like caipirinhas. If only it could be…

Uncle Lumpy (and Gabe) – I wear soft disposables that I change religiously every two weeks. I used to wear the non-disposable kind until I developed an allergy to the protein deposits. Then I was switched to the gas-perms. You do not know pain until you have experienced a speck of dust or hair or something lodged under a gas-perm lens. Literally blinding, until you can remove it – which is a bit dangerous if you’re driving. I wore those for a few years until I was able to switch to disposables. Well worth the money in my opinion.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

To answer myself about the modern Popeye strips: Found my answer on, of course, wikipedia.
bats :[
August 1st, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

SecretMargo, I did my patriotic, subversive duty and voted for “Lio” in your local paper.

Hmmm…and this set me to wondering. How much more FOOBland would be improved if Liz (three letters) were replaced by Lio (also three letters).
Less crappy dialog.
Less angst,.
More squid!

Maybe one would eat Asshathony!
rich
August 1st, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

158, Moss — Or maybe John’s the one who’s been neutered. Poor guy… slipping into the “ol’ Crevasse” just doesn’t get him hard anymore.
AtomicDog
August 1st, 2007 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Anyone know where I can score some Bobby London Popeye?
daria
August 1st, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Can a lurker play the white cane contest because I always win? It’s the only game I ever win. I have doc’s prescription from an appt. on Tuesday in front of me:
R:-17.75 and L: -15.25. My contacts are -13.5 and -12. But fizzy logic is right, after -10 it doesn’t really matter, except that options in terms of correction and contacts are more limited.
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

186 Daria: you win hands down! Or perhaps that should be hands over eyes.
AtomicDog
August 1st, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

#180 McManx: I am in awe. They don’t make strips like that anymore.
daria
August 1st, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Alas, as I said, it is the only game I ever win, but I usually win hands down. I would prefer to win at poker, but I take what I can get. But, the glasses did provide inspiration for on-line persona (variously Daria or Dariaclone), who is from MTV’s Daria, the cartoon queen of snark: http://www.mtv.com/onair/daria/
Tabby
August 1st, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

#156 Gabe
There are some long miles & dirt roads involved, and also, your car is probably a MUCH later model than mine! I suppose there’s probably some sort of Plugger thing I could submit about a tiny old Honda-car pulling up next to all the sleek SUV’s at soccer practice and 5 kitted-out players tumbling out and scrambling off to their fields, but I’d just hate to be drawn as the single-parent Kanga-thing.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

#186 Daria –

Wow, with your prescription, it’s a miracle you can read your prescription!

There’s a trick you can do in really bright light to bypass your optics and see things tack-sharp: poke a hole in piece of aluminum foil, and look through it. Since your (flawed) lens no longer needs to haul all the rays into position (the foil is blocking the out-of-position rays), you get sharp images and incredible depth of field.

But you need a lot of light, and of course good alignment of the pinhole and your pupil.
Mollie
August 1st, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

My GT prediction for the coming weeks: Sean Pettibone and the rest of the guys will saw off their legs, in solidarity with Bill Ritter… who will then surprise us all by revealing (in a rare waist-down appearance) that, actually, he never lost his leg at all!
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Tabby: Her name is Sheila Roo.

(yes, I’m determined that the Mudgenites learn the names of the Plugger characters)
Woody
August 1st, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Cathy: Irving seems horrified by the genetic engineering going on in the Hillman family.

Blondie: Oww….

SpiderMan: What’s up with Peter’s facia; expressions? In panel 1 he looks sleepy. Panel 2 friggin’ breaks the 4th wall by having him look eerily at the reader. He finally decides to lounge in Panel 3. WTF?

Crock: Why is there a dress shop in the middle of the desert?
Dean Booth
August 1st, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

#12 Christopher. BC: “Man, whatta comeback! ‘Cut that out!’” I think I know how that is supposed to be funny — it is a Jack Benny catch phrase, and those who are familiar with JB will chuckle at recalling him saying it. You know, it’s funny like the turtle saying “Eat my shorts!” or “Dyn-o-mite!” or “Hey, wha’ happ’n?!”
Tabby
August 1st, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Gabe, I’m scared to ask, but do they all have names? The skinny, depressed dog dude? The overweight bear guy? The chicken-woman? The slightly dapper, yet seedy cat fellow from a few weeks ago?
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

#186 – Daria – I must say, I’ve never had my ass handed to me so thoroughly in the blindlympics before. Well done, my friend! I hope you do have suitable optical choices, at least ones that work for you. Uncle Lumpy’s pinhole trick is fun, but not that practical.

Don’t you just hate those people that can take their glasses on and off, not needing them the way we need oxygen?
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Yes. There’s unfortunately no character list page that I can find, but the coloring book section on the Pluggers site names most of the big cast. Andy Bear (bear dude, duh), Carl Rhinoski (duh), Sheila Roo, Gramma (old dog lady), Henrietta Beak (chicken lady), Earl Hounstooth (dog guy), and the cat is Claude.
daria
August 1st, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

I have a good eye doctor and great contact technician. With contacts, it’s correctable back to 20/30. Like you, I am extremely jealous of friends who can live without the lenses, but not to be anti-snarky, I’m generally pretty satisfied that it can be fixed and I don’t have to rely on Uncle Lumpy’s method at work. Of course, I’m still relatively young, so I’ve not even made it to the world of bi-and trifocals. I’m not ready for those days!
T. Chicana
August 1st, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

I was also surprised that Michael was drinking a beer on a Saturday morning.

I surprised myself by reading the Foob letters, but it beats working!

From Deanna’s letter:
“It always takes a while to get the “feel” of new surroundings, especially in this case – we still have a lot of John and Elly’s contents. But I’ve put up new curtains, we have new bedspreads, I added some area rugs, and slowly but surely we’re staking our claim.”

–Th-that means…they are using the shaved sheets! I repeat, the shaved sheets are ON THE SCENE! YUCK.

And also, John and Elly are such jerks that they left a whole bunch of garbage (”contents”) in the house when they moved out. Nice. But stupid Michael was probably thrilled to have the same crap from when he was growing up.
Cedar
August 1st, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

I was trying to click to a different comic at gocomics.com, and ended up at this
http://www.gocomics.com/shoecabbage/2007/07/27/

What the hell?

It appears to be a strip dedicated to defining words that sound similar to English words, but mean different things in other languages, then drawing something that appears to attempt to combine the two words and ends up making very little sense, and including a quote that really doesn’t have anything to do with anything.

Although the “language is spoken in place” feature is sorta helpful, there’s something about today’s “Polish is spoken in Poland” that comes off as sarcastic. For a second I assumed this was another mean spirited “wacky” single panel stirp.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

#198 Gabe –

Did you know there’s a Mark Trail Coloring Book?
stinky pete
August 1st, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

195, what you talkin’ ’bout, Dean Booth?
gh
August 1st, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

#202 Uncle Lumpy –

Beautiful! What I love most is that Elrod really tries to let the people do the talking, but about 10 pages in just gives up and hands the exposition over to the animals and the background scenery.
Wary Mirth
August 1st, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

SecretMargo, I stuffed a ballot for you. Giggling as I did so, and listing myself as an 82 yr. male whose profession was, “Ladies Man.”
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

#195, #203, Dean, stinky – Kiss my grits!
Dennis Jimenez
August 1st, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

I pity the fool!
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

#207 Dennis J –

One of these days, Dennis — POW! — straight to the moon!
Paperback Rifler
August 1st, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

202. That coloring book is awesome! It has everything that we’ve come to expect from Mark Trail: The lovingly rendered animal portraits! The odd perspective that makes some of the lovingly rendered animal portraits appear to be of giant, mutated animals! The stilted dialogue that is sometimes inadvertently hysterical! (For example, p14: “I wonder if the lady enjoys fishing as much as cherry!”) And exclamation points; lots and lots of exclamation points! If only they had figured out a way to have a shot or two of Mark punching something . . .

(And I guess there’s a ball that should be kept rolling, so: Sit on it!)
Spotted HØrse
August 1st, 2007 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

#202 Uncle Lumpy: Wow, a Mark Trail coloring book! I like how the raccoon on p. 9 is working his claw and looking batshit crazy.

Also, I don’t know my optics prescription, but my vision, especially in the right eye, sucks. The aluminum foil/pinhole experiment is nifty!

Hey, a question for you, O Esteemed Optics Luddite: When I was a kid, I experienced pretty good correction underwater with a scuba mask. In your opinion, was it the effect of the water acting as a lens, or maybe the reduction of light that helped me to see… or something else?

Yours truly,
Spotted HØrse
Spotted HØrse
August 1st, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

You ask many questions, Grasshopper.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

#210 HØrse –

Not the water; maybe the mask happened to be curved just right for you, but distorted for everybody else?

I got nothin’.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

But you’ve got spunk!

I hate spunk.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Sadly, I did know, Mr. Lumpy.
Gabe
August 1st, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

I pity the Fool didn’t make the list? Huh. I was aware of most on that list, a few on there I didn’t.
Eleusis
August 1st, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

A3G: Poor Margo cannot understand a world in which her current infatuation is not pleased to see her at all times. Prepare for Alan Mills’s evisceration in 5… 4… 3…
ChristianPinko
August 1st, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#121 – You’re probably remembering the Man-Eating Cow from the animated series The Tick, which also featured such wonderful supervillains as El Seed, Octo-Paganini, Sarcastro (the sarcastic Latin American dictator), and The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight.
SatanicMechanic
August 1st, 2007 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

9Cwl: no, don’t kill poor old Roget, kill AMOS! Obnoxious, loathsome, ugly, whiny, prissy, commitment fearing Amos… Oops, I guess I listed all the synonyms for “Amos”. That probably makes it grammatically incorrect.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

#215 Gabe: “God’ll get them for that.”
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

202 Uncle Lumpy: OMG, I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! I might even print it out and color it in. You are such a fount of knowledge. Do you rent yourself out? (And I also LOVE “I hate spunk.” Ah, memories.)
SatanicMechanic
August 1st, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

166 Big Sims

Oh WINCE…

“There’s one young man down the street who has spent a couple of years working on his sportscar – and it’s a real work of art! I didn’t even recognize the make at first – he put a huge spoiler on the back, dropped the body so that it seems to be nearly touching the ground, added all kinds of other amazing stuff to it”

“Work of art”? “Didn’t recognize the make at first”? “huge spoiler on the back”? “added all kinds of amazing stuff to it”?

Get out the paddles, SatanicMechanic is about to have a heart attack!!! What is it with the goddamned spoilers? What is the obsession with throwing away money on a cheep cancer cruiser? Paint a restored Karmann Ghia puke green? SWEET MAN! Paint a Saturn Boring puke green? Waste of paint.

Nevermind, this isn’t really about the car pimping. But really. If they put half as much chrome on cars as they did plastic and idiotic useless spoilers, there might actually be something to turn yer head on the road once in a while….

Ok, it was totally not about the car. I’m sorry.
AhClem
August 1st, 2007 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

“Dammit, Jim! I’m a doctor, not a curmudgeon!”
NightRaven
August 1st, 2007 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Speaking of Spider-Man, any of you guys read the Peter Bagge version ? It’s just started running in a Norwegian comic monthly over here, and it’s quite a “different” version of Spidey than usual.
Here’s a few links with sample pages and info:
http://www.scifidimensions.com/Apr02/peterbagge.htm
http://www.comicartcollective.com/peterbagge/
(browse down to “Spidey”)

He also made a version the Hulk, which unfortunately has yet to be published, here are a few samples from that as well:
http://againwiththecomics.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-want-my-incorrigible-hulk.html

Oh, and nobody’s commented on the mailmans’ expression in Blondie today, in panel 2.
He seems suspiciously sad to not have to walk up to the Bumsteads door anymore.
GotFuzzy
August 1st, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

For those who long for peek Bill Ritter’s bottom half, see here.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

#220 The Divine O’F – I said the same thing to my sons about printing out the Mark Trail Coloring Book, and they backed away slowly, keeping eye contact all the while.

They think nothing of my drawing a semi-porn Trail parody but God knows they don’t want to see me with crayons. Go figure.
Dean Booth
August 1st, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

I did this FC bit before work this morning and haven’t had time to post it: Cape Fear.

Real work is keeping me from comics and comments today. Stupid work!
TomSFox
August 1st, 2007 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

I don’t think that’s a drop of sweat on Mr. Wilson’s head.
I think it’s one of those tear tattoos you get in jail when you kill somebody.
The Divine O’F
August 1st, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

225 TF: You are welcome to come over to my house any time. We can share one of those really big boxes of crayons and color to our hearts’ content.
El Santo
August 1st, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

#175 (odinthor) — Wow. Thanks for the crash course in Nordic mythology and the stuff on the man-creating cow. Interesting and eerie stuff. But… I think #217 (ChristianPinko) was right: it probably heard of “Man-Eating Cow” on the Tick cartoon.

Also, one of my favorite characters was the Infinity Ball, which was just an 8-ball turned sideways.
Jim Meadows
August 1st, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

#185-Atomic Dog asked:
Anyone know where I can score some Bobby London Popeye?

I don’t have my copy anymore, but I looked up Bobby London’s “Mondo Popeye” on Amazon, and they have a few. It came out in 1989, and, if I remember correctly, includes the sequence referring indirectly to abortion (using baby dolls, I believe) that got London fired from the strip. I don’t think London adjusted well to the limits of a daily comic strip panel (too many two-panel strips with only room for a set-up and punchline). But I think he had a better handle on Popeye than Hy Eisman does in his current Sunday strips.
Rainbird
August 1st, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Christopher #12:

Yes, this is way back at the beginning of this thread, but I had to read through to make sure no one else had commented on it.

You mentioned Angry Duck (Mallard Fillmore) today, and I had to actually laugh, becaues the form that he is making fun of actually exists, though not at teh airport. When you fill out the application to become a U.S. citizen it asks if you are or have ever been a terrorist, or ever over thrown a government.

Yup, that’ll catch ‘em trying to sneak it.
Spotted HØrse
August 1st, 2007 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

#212 Uncle Lumpy:

maybe the mask happened to be curved just right

I remember the mask being convex, and the shape, now that I think about it, was just about the same curvature as the inside surface of my right glasses lens. Chalk up another mystery solved by Uncle Lumpy!

#226 Dean Booth: The new feature allowing us to show specific comics is luxurious! I especially enjoy being able to load up a pageful of Josh Reeds: Comic Blogger. Now that’s service…
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

It’s been quite busy at our dental clinic this summer – but there are lots of cancellations and missed appointments as people take off to their cottages or campgrounds and “forget” about us.

Kind of like when you called in so you could walk the dog. I guess they figure you might not be there, so why bother?

Thankfully, my assistant, Jean, devised a clever idea to help us fill these empty spots – she keeps a list of retired folks who can show up for cleanings on very short notice. These folks know the value of regular checkups, and they don’t mind coming in earlier than they would have otherwise. It keeps us busy, and it also keeps us from losing money on the people who “lose” their appointment cards!

Don’t they have regular six months appointmets anyway? Or are you just milking the socialized medicine system for all its worth?
fizzy logic
August 1st, 2007 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

So when’s the national Curmudgeon Con? I’m too shy to attend, but I’d love to see the pictures… Divine O’F and True Fable with their coloring contest; SecretMargo dressed up as Margo; the Aldo look-alike competition; mojitos all around. Dean Booth with a booth. Galactic Emperor Chennux would make an appearance, of course. Squid everywhere! Ces and Ed Power would be there – maybe we could talk Al Scaduto into stopping by? Oh, the possibilities!
Lynngineering
August 1st, 2007 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

#87 – Old Bean – nice – I may actually bother to start up thinking about Dennis again. So, is this history by way of his mother’s side of the family? I can see that.

Now Mr. Wilson, he’s always reminded me of being just a few degrees off of Rod Steiger’s character in “The Pawnbroker” — deep down, something is certainly held back, and obviously it ties to “punishment.”
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

Please somebody tell me that our Minneapolis Mudgeons are not in that bridge collapse. I’m serious.
Uncle Lumpy
August 1st, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Hey, Popeye fans:

Popeye the Sailor: 1933–1938, Vol. 1 on DVD.
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

How do the Bumsteads get their mail so early? Dagwood is always running onto Mr. Beasley leaving for work. I doubt Mr. Dithers lets him come in at noon, which is around the time my mail arrives.
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

There was also this in Mike’s letter…….

His two companies, Gordon’s Garage and Mayes Motors have receive awards for both entrepreneurship and community participation.

“have receive”??? I thought Mike was a professional writer?

There are several teenagers near here who come well recommended when we want to go out,

Good idea. Call the guy who drives the pimped up Saturn.
Spiny Norman
August 1st, 2007 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

#58: Love it.

#140: Love that, too!

Beetle Bailey: Washington…first in war, first in peace, first in jail for peeping.

Cathy: What gets me is not how much all of Irving’s male relatives look like each other–it’s how much they all, particularly around the nose, look like Cathy’s dog.

DT: Panel 2: It’s the cardboard Gretchen puppet! Dress her up in glamorous Cold War fashions!!

MT: In panel 1, Sam is apparently six years old. Her morphing body is really creeping me out. It’s as if she’s one of those balls or animals filled with some kind of gelatinous substance. Squeeze her in the middle and watch her chest inflate and her neck disappear! Squeeze her head and watch the eyes expand!

RMMD: Oh, Hugh, what will we do? If only we knew someone with any sort of medical training…Heather, what will we do?
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

How are all these supposedly peaceful tribes the Phantom hangs out with so able to defend themselves with a little help from the walking ghost?
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

#239 LTBF – I wonder if Gordon’s Garage is separate from Mayes Motors? I guess so, what with name recognition and all. Still, you would think that a “big corporation” like Mayes Motors would have swallowed the garage whole. Maybe there was a corporate takeover, a violent one, a real blood bath with guerilla fighters in the parking lot and snipers on the roof and subversive elements getting the drop on the underpaid staff as they follow the herd to work.

Maybe not, though, since the first one in their sights would be Angstony, taken out as he grazed on a day-old cinnamon bun next to the watering hole.

** sorry, wishful dreaming. What’d you say?
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Durr, it says right there in your post, “his two companies.” Geez, I ought to go back to bed, the Pod People didn’t bring back my damn brain before I awoke.
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

Julia ate the guerilla fighters.
Big Sims
August 1st, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Angstony shaved his stash to fool the snipers.
LondonCalling
August 1st, 2007 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Even on its own, any single panel of that Popeye strip is funnier than anything that has appeared in Hagar, Marmaduke, or Marvin in the last 20 years.
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

So Weed and his girlfriend are shacking up with no plans to marry. The other girl from the yphen’s wedding is also shacking up with the moron Liz kicked out when she moved in with Eric.

Why is it OK for them to have sex, but Lynn puts Liz in a seperate bedroom so we won’t think she’s gone roadside?
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

I suppose Lynn doesn’t want anyone to discover that Liz caught an STD from John.

zzzzzzzzzz-zing!

Lynn baby, you are such a naughty girl to plant and promote such a thought in my little damaged brain. You are so bad, Lynn. No really. You are like, terrible. Horrible. When I say, “Get down wit’ yo bad self”, I mean STFD&SU.
…you don’t even get me, do you baby? That’s just it. You’ll NEVER GET ME. Suffer, bitch.
Squid Countess
August 1st, 2007 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

#236 True Fable – What you said! I hope all ‘mudgeon’s in Minneapolis were still in the office snarking or already at home snarking. I’ve said a prayer for those folks – looks awful.
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

Sadly enough, I actually liked today’s DtM, really. “Here comes one big enough to open it.” Brought a smile to my face, maybe because I’m envisioning Mr. Wilson’s gigantic flyswatter he installed over a baitroom, tricked out to look like a game room. Dennis walks in, Wilson locks the door and then looks through a two-way mirror chortling with maniacal glee as Dennis tries to run from the huge steel grid that follows him via heat sensors, beat him and doing substantial damage to his scruffy little noggin.

Man, I’m channeling evil today. >:-)
Squid Countess
August 1st, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

GT- Over at This Week In Milford, the headline is “Punch like a butterfly, hop like a bee.” I learned about that site from Josh talking about it here at CC. Every Thorpian should check it out regulalrly, I think.

Fizzy Logic I would let a seeing-eye dog named “Champ” lead me through traffic far more readily than I would let a seeing-eye dog named “Scooter” do the same.

By the way- Gabe suddenly saying, “I wear disposables every night” in the post right after gh said he was getting a Spartacus outfit together …eww. Squicked me out for a minute.

Secret Margo – I voted. And I’ve always said Spoke-ann. I think.

Poteet – Total failure on my first attempt at a plush GE CHENNUX. The stuffed lizard I bought was too cute. It didn’t look cute in the picture when I ordered it, but in person it had a darling smile and a happy glint in its eye that simply could not be overcome. I gave it to a 6 yr old I know. I didn’t fancy sending it back and putting on the return info, “Lizard is not lascivious-enough looking.”
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

#249 Squid Countess – It’s much better to imagine mayhem, then to be an eyewitness to it or be in it.

Y’all Minnesotan Mudgeons, we’re thinking of you down South and hoping you’re all okay.
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Mike had a suit at Portrait Magazine? He quits without giving notice and they let him store clothes there?

Deanna-”For whatever reason, I’ve always been fascinated by book covers. Probably because I was always told “never judge a book by its cover” when I was growing up.”

Wouldn’t an interest in book covers go against that advice?
evie oh oh
August 1st, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

#236 and #249 Thanks for the well wishes. I’m 2 miles down the road from the bridge, and drove across it this morning. I hope everyone else is alright, safe and sound and enjoying Mark Trail’s daily antics.
Major Hooples Boarding House
August 1st, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/newsrelease/?view=644

Take me now lord!
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

#251 Squid Countess again – OMG, your GE Chennux tale had me helpless with laughter! “Lizard is not lascivious-enough looking.” God, I would have PAID to see the return clerk’s face when s/he got that.

oh gee, I think I pulled something! XD

I’d like to see a GEChennux Plushie-making contest here. The winner gets a “Get out of being Magmacannon free” card. ?? Maybe? I dunno what the prize would be, bragging rights I suppose.
Jamus The Bartender
August 1st, 2007 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy’s Crimestopper’s Textbook
Today’s Lesson: How To Babysit Your Sister’s Kids And Keep Your Temper Without Resorting To Alcohol, But Don’t Rule It Out.

For Those Who Came In Late, as that weirdo with the purple tights and the striped ass likes to say: Despite appearances to the contrary, re: the post Cold War storyline, Dick Tracy was arrested for threatening to destroy San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge with a commandeered starship( The “Tarzana Nights”, flagship of Emperor Chennux’ interstellar fleet, now the primary mode of transport of Pope Josh Noodlefoot and his disciples the “Curmudgeonites” , about which more later), and it’s magmacannons. After a brief stay in the long-since closed Alcatraz Prison, Tracy was to be moved via armored van to Anchorage , Alaska where his trial is to take place. But fate, in the form of a recently displaced family of squirrels, would say otherwise. After the van overturned, Tracy overpowered his guards, that is to say, snuck away into the deep woods, where he disappeared for a number of days.
Meantime, Jamus The Bartender recently returned to the Tarzana Nights after a brief stopover with his lovely family, in order to recover from an encounter with an old feline flame whom he discovered playing the split ticket scam with some jackass bull who is nowhere as cool as I ever was, I mean, c’mon, what in hell could she be thinking….
Ah…yeah.
On with the story.

—————————————————————–
Greetings, Crimestopper’s . The ol’ detective is here, alive and well in the woods of….dammit, where the hell am I anyway? The woods of Northwestern Washington, at least according to this hippie i’ve got foot on top of. See, I ran into this cyber-coffee shop, asked real nice for some coffee, and to use the laptop, and now some goddamn hippie just HAS to call the local five-oh….I thought hippies hated cops….what’s up with that?
Anyway, I gotta make this quick….my first day out into the woods, I find a phone booth, as I can’t call that dumbass Jamus on my wrist radio, all I get is this bimbo cat lady alternately crying and touching herself in ways a gentleman does not talk about here, but it did offer the ol’ detective some solace from bein’ on the run, lemme tell you.
Anyhoo, I call up Tess….convince her it’s me and to come pick me up. She says no, and to go to hell, i’m a criminal now, yada yada yada. I says…okay, at least send me some cash from my stash…wouldn’t you know she’d spent it? Anyway,. the only way she’d send me any money now is to go visit her sister, who lives in Portland, and help babysit her kids. Me. Babysit kids.
Anyway, the next five minutes was a blur, but after I stopped slamming my head into the phone post, I agreed. Now…these kids of Tess’ sister are miserable, rotten little monsters…I mean, they’re lovely children who have some behavorial issues. My Aunt Fanny. Damn kids didn’t stop riding me from sunup to sundown…”Please read me a story…I wanna see your gun…is it true to threatened to destroy a major metropolitan area with a stolen spaceship” and on and on…
Oh. Fuck me. The goddamn cops are here…I gotta sign off and make for high ground…but not before I show mister hippie here my size elevens….
Dick Tracy
LTBF
August 1st, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

I think snarking at the flashbacks will be even more fun.

One good thing about the freeze…April will be 16 forever, so she’ll never move out and John and Elly won’t get to rent out the basement.
Major Hooples Boarding House
August 1st, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

…gasp…sorry I blacked out..

news from Lynn Johnson -

http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/newsrelease/?view=644

(faint)
True Fable
August 1st, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

#255 MHBH – I KNEW IT, GODDAMN IT! >:-(

Lynn, you yourself started that whole retirement shit, unless you thought it was supposed to be a pun, a tongue in cheek sort of thing “that shouldn’t have been taken seriously.” Maybe we’re looking for a rose to crawl out of a dungheap, Kiddo, but don’t blame us for hoping you’d FUCKING RETIRE ALREADY!

You knew these rumors have been around for MONTHS but you picked only just NOW to deny them? This was all for publicity? PUBLICITY?!? You are a WHORE!

And get your tongue away from my cheek, woman. Your breath smells like last week’s floopa. Exaggerating little wench! There can only be ONE fable-maker. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

Bitch.
Major Hooples Boarding House
August 1st, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

Instead of the link, here’s the news:

Lynn Johnston Squelches Rumors of Her Retirement

Kansas City, MO (08/01/2007) This letter by Lynn Johnston, creator of “For Better or For Worse” was mailed Monday, July 30, to her client list of newspapers:

Dear Editor:

Never did I suspect it would come to this. I have the honour of sharing a distinct complaint with Mark Twain, that rumours of my demise are being greatly exaggerated!

I announced in several interviews earlier this year that I would not be retiring and that For Better or For Worse would continue in a ³hybrid” form.

But rumours to the contrary continue

to fly, and I’d like to take a moment to put them to rest.

My vision for the hybrid cartoon is to move forward beginning this fall by mixing together new plots with remembrances of the Patterson family¹s history. For instance, readers will see Michael and his children as they are today, and also Michael and his parents as they were when the strip began.

So the strip will not end. I intend to keep the Patterson family around for many years to come.

Thank you for your continued support of For Better or For Worse.

Sincerely,

Lynn Johnston
Braniff
August 1st, 2007 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

RE 261: Lynn Johnston, retirement or not, it’s time to call it a day with your comic strip. It won’t be missed. Does Canada really need to export its own answer to the Family Circus?
Buck Ripsnort
August 1st, 2007 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

It’s pathetic, but after working on it all day, the only snark I could come up w/ was:
Hey! Why didn’t Coach Kaz just enter Bill in an ass-kicking contest?
And I have no snark for FOOB continuing ad nauseum, just hot tears of pain.
davitydave
August 1st, 2007 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Is Bill Ritter a lesbian?
Lame Name
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:00 am [Reply]

202 — That Mark Trail coloring book is giving me major deja vu. I suppose I’ve been at enough ranger stations that I could actually have seen one before.
Lame Name
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

Goddammit, Lynn! I’ll bake you a cake and ship it to Canada if you’ll just retire already.
Monster Jamz
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Popeye VS. The Cow. the struggle continues …
El Santo
August 2nd, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

I love how, in the article, Lynn Johnson assumes that what her readers really want is to see “Michael in the now” and “Michael in the past.” We’re all winners!

Or, to put it in a much more accurate way, we’re all losers.

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