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“Stuff” manufacturing! HOORAY!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/06

Poor White Trash Momma; she looks so hurt in the last panel. It’s like she was excited about finally actually using her chemistry degree and now Nikki just made it seem so dirty. Some lab safety advice, dear: you might want to get a longer shirt, because when the makeshift equipment explodes (as it almost certainly will), you’re going to want to have as little exposed flesh as possible.

It’s about time that Rex Morgan tackled the meth epidemic sweeping across the lower economic strata of America. Despite this strip’s attempt to engage with cutting-edge social problems, it was beaten to that particular punch by more than two years by Mary Worth of all things. And speaking of that, can we please, please, please count on this fellow being WTM’s boss?

If you’re tragically unfamiliar with Tommy the Tweaker — surely one of the greatest Mary Worth characters in living memory — start here and work your way forward.

Dennis the Menace, 10/27/06

The thing that really bothers me about this panel is the single bead of sweat on Mr. Wilson’s forehead. I’m pretty sure this is his last moment of sanity before he snaps into a child-murdering rage.

Mary Worth, 10/27/06

Meanwhile, in Mary Worth, Ella is wasting no time in getting busy with the local ladies. First stop: Iris Beedle, mother to the aforementioned Tommy and, improbably, girlfriend to Commandante Combover, who’s strolling rather smugly about six feet in front of her. Iris’ dating history indicates that she’s generally been of the heterosexual persuasion, but a relationship with Wilbur would probably be enough to turn anybody off men forever, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that she’s eager to take a detour to “discover” things “about each other” with a total stranger without even bothering to say goodbye to her boyfriend.

Perhaps the first sign of Iris’ disenchantment with Wilbur is that she’s stopped dying her hair. Ella loves you just the way you are, dear: a nice brunette in purple pants.

Judge Parker, 10/27/06

Everybody had State College Bobby down as a threat to poor Raju, but here he’s showing off his cultural sensitivity as he stands up to Shiny-Headed Mohawk Man. Sadly for him, though, there are, in fact, people from India who belong to tribes, but it’s the thought that counts.

134 responses to ““Stuff” manufacturing! HOORAY!”

  1. Harry Paratestes
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    I think that I’m going to have to get a ‘roadkilled’ starfish hairdo, it’s just way too cool.

  2. Bill James
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    Now, Josh, I thought the comment about “discovering things about each other” was simply a precursor to an “alternative interrogation technique” that will leave Iris gasping for air, wet, and willing to say anything to Ella. But that’s just me.

  3. Harry Paratestes
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: See, if Raju was quick on the draw, he’d reply “I belong to a Tribe called Quest” and the bonehead would be really impressed.

  4. Zikar
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    I too, was surprised that Raju hasn’t been issued a beat-down yet, nor has he had any sexual overtures from Bobby. I’m confused…what’s gonna happen?!?
    In MW, the biddy off has fatefully begun…and boy, does Ella look menacing while she’s going inside. Like the Meddling Black Widow of Charterstone, come to take the souls of the intitiates. Creepy.
    MT: I’m sorry I lambasted you yesterday, Mark. All I can hear in my head is the D-12 song “I’m Gonna Get My Gun!” Go kick ass, Mark, kill ‘em dead!
    Also, in breaking news, the liberals are picking on those poor, defenseless conservatives again. Die, Tinsley, just lay down and die.
    Spiderman: JJJ, your 15 minutes of fame are starting…
    Finally, in FW, binge drinking+French maid outfit=most uplifting FW storyline ever!

  5. Concerned Citizen
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Ella’s CIA training will come in handy. I notice that the condo is dark, symbolizing the point of no return. The Charterstone gang is going to be busy with more funerals before somebody stops the ancient serial killer.

    Say, WTM is looking better these days. A sure sign that she is seeing the evil of her ways. ‘roadkilled’ starfish hairdo does seem to sum up this bizarre do.

  6. Sheilagh
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Raju is a “dot Indian” as opposed to a “woo-woo Indian.” That’s the kind of cultural sensitivities showcased here!

  7. Harry Paratestes
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    FW: Yeah, here comes the YouTube video of the year: two drunken high school chicks in French maid costumes getting into a screaming catfight. Man, that’s fair game for a capacity audience.
    MF: Why is Tinsley such an obvious idiot? He should die in a fiery accident on the highway, for god’s sake. Or maybe Dick Cheney will authorize some ‘waterboarding’ on him.
    Curtis: I didn’t read it as such first, but is he really urging on his dad to start nailing his mom? Wow!
    TDIET: Groner’s a long-winded goathead, but you really have to admire his wife’s gigantic earrings.

  8. K Bear
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    LIO- Oh, man, MT screaming like a girl at a mouse. So funny, and I can picture it happening right after he gets his gun. The dog is probably sitting off-camera thinking, ‘Jaysus, man, Molly’s in trouble! Haul ass!”

    FOOB- I don’t know why they’re so pissed at Becky. I mean, yes, of course they’re jealous, and of course she’s not a Patterson and therefore doesn’t deserve anything good in her life, but just yesterday they were admitting to each other how much they suck. What, was Becky supposed to stick by them and suck as well? Personality aside, she did what she had to do to succeeed, and that didn’t include anything illegal, so suck it up, foobs!

  9. MonkeyHawk
    October 27th, 2006 at 5:59 pm [Reply]


    If I remember my Monty Python correctly, the dichotomy is “IN-jiah Indian,” as opposed to “Woo-Woo Indian.”

    The other comparison correctly distinguishes “dot Indian” vs. “feather Indian.”

    I hate to go all savage on you, but the die was caste.

  10. Kaliflower
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    It appears that Mr. Wilson is reading a Family Circus book. No doubt his sweat is a result of the unbridaled erotica contained therein as mentioned in numerous reviews.

  11. dramashoes
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker is reminding me more and more of a crappy eighties movie.

  12. Old Fogeyette
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    Ooohhh the die was caste…. that’s definitely worth Something of the Week, Monkeyhawk.

    Has anyone but me noticed how incredibly BORING all the comics have gotten lately? Or have they been that way all along and I have just awakened from a deep thirty-year slumber? The only things I can work up any interest in at all are Molly’s fate, and I’m pretty sure she will be all right, and wondering how Starfish Roadkill and his mom are going to hook up again with the extremely dysfunctional Morgan family.

  13. Amber
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    You’d be sweating, too, if you were Mr. Wilson. I mean, reading a novel about Hitler while having pesky Dennis the Menace sitting right next to you, goading you about retirement, is enough to turn anyone in a perspiring third-reich-loving killer. His pants are obviously the lower-half of an old Nazi uniform, and the pink slippers are just a cover. I think Dennis is about to find out what Mr. Wilson’s old job used to be… in the most menacing way possible. YES!

  14. mdrew
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    At first glance, I thought Mr.Wilson’s book had a cartoon Hitler face on the cover.

  15. Dactyl
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Hmmm, new Charterstone resident, subletting, showing an over-zealous interest in one of her neighbors… yeah, this will end well.

  16. Uncle Lumpy
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Josh -

    I’m sure you meant to say, “Tommy the Tweaker — surely one of the greatest Mary Worth characters of the pre-Aldo era.”


  17. Magnolia
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Wait, is State College Bobby seriously gonna hit on Raju? Because that’s really what it looks like right now. Wouldn’t it be freaky and awesome if that actually happened?

    Mostly freaky, but yeah.

  18. Bobdog
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    Is that Carla Bley in Rex Morgan?

  19. Chance
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    New idea for a T-shirt:

    “I am not interested in being surprised at what we, as neighbors, can learn about each other.”

  20. Josh
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy (#16) — I stand by my assessment. The Tommie Meth-Dealing storyline happened in the first months of this blog, when I only had a few dozen daily readers; if it had gone down with my current readership, you had better believe that Tommymania would be in full effect.


  21. jules
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Josh – thank you for insisting that we go through the Mary Worth archives! I was totally unfamiliar with “Tommy,” the “meth” “addict” and “dealer” of “stuff.” (I just started reading Mary this summer, when Kelly and Lou were on the verge of divorce because Kelly had taken up powerwalking.) Man, that storyline with Tommy was… riveting.

    As for Mr. Wilson, I rather thought that bead of sweat was the first sign of his impending heart attack. Tomorrow Dennis will say, “Hiya, Mr. Wilson! How was yer trip back east?” And Mr. Wilson will grip his arm and groan.

  22. Proteus
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Starfish boy’s improbable, shade-creating ‘do.
    Tommy Tweaker’s Limp Prince Valliant.
    Dennis the M’s handy yellow hatchet attachment.
    Plastic wigs in charterstone.
    Uncle Festers Blue Mowhawk.

    Welcome to It’s All About The Hair Day!

  23. Anonymous
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    “working in a laboratory . . . with test tubes and stuff.”

    Wow, she really sounds like a scientific genius. This must be one heckuva a lab, with a screening process that consists of “my girlfriend needs a job.”

    Or am I being too obtuse in my refusal to acknowledge the probably-illegal nature of this laboratory?

  24. Grinderman
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    To change the subject: Check out the latest “Crankshaft:”

    In historical terms, this will be to “Operation Iraqi Freedom” what Walter Cronkite’s famous denunciation was to the war in Vietnam!

  25. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    In other news:

    TDIET Yeah, who-da thunk the most complex free market economic system in the history of the planet would be complicated? Waaaaah. Can’t you explain it using sock-puppets and sports analogies? Math is all hurty and stuff. Waaaaah.

    FC At first glance, this looks rather wholesome and Norman Rockwellian (albeit not all that humorous). But Holy Crap! What’s with Jeffy? That is one angry little man. Guess he’s thinking: “P.J. you little shit. If you hadn’t come along, I’d still be getting a daily go at Thel’s sweet bosom. I’d have my mouth on her every day ’till junior prom. If I had the upper body strength, I’d crush your little incompletely-formed hydrocephalic skull.”

    Fast forward twenty years, I’m seeing Jeffy putting an icepick into P.J.’s brainstem from the back seat of Billy’s cadillac…

  26. Jessica
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    So when’s the FAQ coming Josh? I look forward to the entertaining explanations of all the who’s who nicknames and whatnot that are from before my time here on the Curmudgeon site :)

  27. rich
    October 27th, 2006 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson’s either reading Mein Kampf or Mad-Libs.

  28. Joe
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    I wonder what Mr. Wilson’s job was before he “retired” (read: fired for criminal misconduct). He strikes me as the mailman type, because he always delivers the laffs.

  29. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    #24 Grinderdude, your linkazoid is wonky.

    I think this is what you were shootin’ fer.

  30. Poteet
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    MW — My state (Iowa) has a major meth problem, to the point that I keep an eye out for meth cooks on my land, know farmers who have had their tanks broken into by tweakers, and have seen a number of meth arrest photos. (Researchers have just figured out an additive for that will prevent anhydrous use in home meth labs, meaning that Iowa will be importing our meth from Mexico from now on — another industry gone abroad.)

    Sorry, I digress. Anyway, it appears to me that Tommy the Tweaker is awfully good-looking and robust for a meth addict. But I didn’t follow him to the end of his storyline, so maybe he ended up thin, wasted and hollow-eyed, with facial sores and arm tracks, cowering under his bed to escape the combined CIA and outer-space alien forces out to get him.

  31. Islamorada Girl
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, WTM is the child of Sideshow Mel.

  32. Cornwhacker
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Ooo, rich, or maybe it’s the Mad Libs edition OF Mein Kampf! Perfect for entertaining the neighbor kids!

    I thought he was reading a chunky manga periodical, personally. It would explain the single sweat drop.

  33. treedweller
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Re: crankshaft
    Was “chickens come home to roast” an intentional malaprop, aka the “joke,” or was there another joke I missed and that was accidental? I suspect only the voices in Batiuk’s head know.

  34. Harry Paratestes
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone tell me why Mr. Wilson seems to have electrodes attached to his calves? Is that why he’s sweating, because he’s undergoing electric shock aversion therapy to cure his love of Mein Kampf and his closeted pederasty?

  35. Monkey's Paw
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    If this storyline ends with Raju being safely dropped off at the house Judge Parker will officially be the most unexciting comic ever.

    Reading JP is like watching a man smoking in a explosives shed, put out his cigar on some dynamite then go have a nice meal. It sets up the most dramatic conclusions and choses the most bland.

  36. Poteet
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    #30 — Sorry for the typo. My drug of choice is chocolate, and I’m high right now.

  37. Ewald
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    Mr Wilson is a retired postal worker.

  38. Proteus
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Cornwhacker – excellent call. Here’s the page he’s working on:

    Mein (noun) Chapter (number)
    “THERE are some (plural noun) which are so (adjective) that for this very reason they are not (verb) or at least not (verb) by ordinary (noun). They sometimes pass by such (plural noun) as though (medical condition) and are most (adjective) when someone suddenly (verb) what everyone really ought to know. (famous person)’s eggs lie around by the hundreds of thousands, but (famous person)es are met with less (adverb).
    Thus (plural noun) without exception (verb) about in the (location) of Nature; they imagine that they (verb) practically everything and yet with few exceptions (verb) blindly by one of the most (adjective) principles of Nature’s rule: the (adjective) segregation of the species of all living beings on this (planet).”

  39. Nizwerdy
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Ella, please be an undercover PI investigating the allegedly accidental death of one Aldo Kelrast!

  40. Harry Paratestes
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Folks, maybe it’s not a meth lab. These are biddies, you know, and while the crib may be locked up, the playpen’s still warm, so to speak. Maybe it’s a Viagra lab, and Ella’s going to have ‘stiffie’ parties with Wilbur, Chinbeard, and all the rest of the men of Charterstone.

  41. Key Lime Pie
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Anagrams for “ELLA BYRD”:


    If its gonna start again, it might as well begin here.

  42. DA
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    I recently had a Navajo roomate (and by roomate, I mean friend crashing on my couch and not paying rent). One day, after meeting one of my co-workers, she asked about her ethnicity, which I told her was “Half British, Half Indian”. My roomate was like “This kind of Indian?” and put her finger to her forehead. I was like “Jesus, you’re always accusing me of not being PC and sensitive enough, then you basically just go and call her a dothead. Yes, she IS–” I repeated her gesture “That kind of Indian, not–” I put my fingers behind my head and went oowoowoowoo “–That kind of Indian”. She said ‘fuck you’ but she laughed.

    It probably adds to her case though, that one morning it was raining and I was like “Hey, I need to get to work, do you know some kind of reverse rain dance that will make it stop?” among other comments….

    Judge Parker’s new gang of ruffians look like the gang in Rumble Fish or Class of 1984. Most college jocks I’ve met wouldn’t exactly blend in with them.

    I nominate #35 for comment of the week, by the way.

  43. Key Lime Pie
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    My personal favorite is “BALL DYER.” Something tells me that there are a lot of blue, grey balls in need of dying in Charterstone.

  44. Len
    October 27th, 2006 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Nikki is really Winky-Dink, from 1950′s TV. That damn cartoon got me punished for drawing with crayons on the TV screen.

    As for Friday’s Dennis, it reminds me of the Jamaican folk lyric: Old man asks young boy why he cry/ Young boy say, “I tell you why…/ It’s cause I can’t do what the big boys do.”/ Old man sat down, and he cry, too!/

    But Dennis probably is spawned from Mr. Wilson’s leathery loins. Wilson was still sexually active five years ago. And Henry Mitchell was voted “most likely to be cockolded” in his High School yearbook.

  45. Audible Sigh
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    42. Didn’t Mr. Jellineck distinguish between Indians in a similar manner in a “Strangers with Candy” episode?

  46. ChefMike
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    GA: Grandpa Walt will never die. Why, you may ask? Cause senile dementia is COMEDY GOLD baby.

  47. robin
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    #44- Winky Dink….hadn’t thought of drawing on the TV in years….what a hoot!!!

  48. weiser
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t Tommy be released from the State Pen by now? I’m expecting him back home with Iris any day.

    He was sent up the river eons ago and it was (I think) his first “real offense”. If you can call dealing fake “stuff” to a college kid an “offense”. I call it a life-lesson that needed learning.

    Dang uppity college kids anyway.

  49. KitsuneWarlock
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    Anyone seen Doonsberry today?

    I don’t follow this comic very often, but are these character’s supposed to be homosexual in nature? I mean…you know…man on man homosexual? I thought this was a political comic…and gays and politics are kinda…a dead issue as of 5 months ago…if I recall correctly at least…

    Which reminds me, I was reading through the newspaper the other day and noticed something. Did you know gays can vote? Wow. Seriously. What’s next? Teens? Women? Haha…I should get into the political comics business myself.

    Note: I support women’s suffrage. I do not support women on the internet. Mostly because 99.9% of them are really men. The .1% remaining women are just plain “gig’. You know. ‘roadside’.

  50. weiser
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    My bad. I was relying on my memory (I thought it was just the short-term that was affected). I checked the link and Tommy was sent up the river for his second offense.

    Still it’s been two years. No one gets that kind of time these days. I say, give him parole. There’s always a place in Iris’ home and heart for her son.

  51. phil
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    #30 – Poteet – Poteet? wtf does that mean? anyway, as an ex Iowan living happily in Connecticut I don’t think the rest of Curmudgeon fans realize that that shit, i mean meth was practically invented in Iowa. Only now are we starting to see it on the steets in Hartford. I don’t know why I had to add to the converstion in such an un-comical way so let me add CATHY SUCKS! ps I miss the corn but I’ll get over it on the train to NYC to catch a show before heading up the Hudson to Sleepy Hollow for Halloween.

  52. beans
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    I would just like to comment, after watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” that i LOVE Charles Shultz and those wonderful early years of Peanuts.

  53. Uncle Lumpy
    October 27th, 2006 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    #50 phil -

    Poteet is Steve Canyon’s cousin and ward, named after Poteet, Texas.

    And a sweet angel of these pages.

  54. Sheilagh
    October 27th, 2006 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    #44 Len, I loooove your typo — cockolded rather than cuckolded heeheehee, association of ideas, yes?

  55. Opus
    October 27th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Ok, I’m a relative newbie around here, but wtf is up with Charterstone? First of all, subletting left and right — but more importantly, no locks on the doors? Ella’s hands are empty and she’s just walking in.

    And further, Ella/Myrna’s place appears to be a dark, sinister void of trouble. I’m waiting for Ruth Gordon and Sydney Blackmer to pop out and invite the biddies in for tea.

    (Though, really, would even Satan want to hit that? I think not.)

  56. retrovirus
    October 27th, 2006 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    What’s with Mr. Wilson’s pants? Either he has ultra-defined calves, or he has some sort of giant sperm design printed on both legs…

  57. hero120499
    October 27th, 2006 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me or does it look like Mr. Wilson is reading a biography of Adolph HItler?

  58. TDB
    October 27th, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    “I don’t have a job, an’ you don’t either”

    That’s right Dennis, and in a perfect world neither would the person that came up with such a lame idea for a cartoon.

  59. Citric
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    FOOB – What the hell is mixed-company supposed to mean? But, more importantly, April has saggy boobs.

  60. Doug Puthoff
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]


    FW: Is everybody in Westview an alcoholic, a former alcoholic, or a soon-to-be alcoholic? This is about the fourth story dealing with booze. It reminds me of my childhood back in Ohio.

    SF: Ted and Sally should’ve gone as Snuffy Smith and Loweezy. Hillbillies are the last group that can be made fun of.

    Dilbert: I wonder if Scott Adams made that strip after I’d whined about his strip a few weeks back. I wonder if he’s even heard of this blog.

    Popeye: Yes, Aldo is dead, but this storyline goes on and on. Life is still not fair.

  61. bool
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    58 mixed company is a quaint phrase used by grown adults about 60 years ago when both men and women were present. Men wouldn’t say the coarse things in mixed company that they would when they were with other men. Persumably, the same is true of women, but women were assumed too polite for that sort of thing back then.

    What this has to do with junior high students in Canada today, I can’t imagine.

  62. Poteet
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    #52 — Aww, Uncle Lumpy, you’re just so nice. I’m blushing.

    And #50, Phil, the corn will be here if you ever visit again. Lots and lots of corn. However (and sorry, I’ll try not to inflict any further meth exposition on Curmudgeons after this), the current meth epidemic actually started in California and Oregon, according to PBS FRONTLINE. But Iowa certainly has a huge problem with it now.

  63. Ouish
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    23: “working in a laboratory . . . with test tubes and stuff.”

    Wow, she really sounds like a scientific genius. This must be one heckuva a lab, with a screening process that consists of “my girlfriend needs a job.”

    She must be working for Los Alamos.

  64. bool
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    make that, “. . . used to describe when both . . .”

  65. Da Scrodfather
    October 27th, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Given all the “sick” photoshops of Dennis the Menace floating around the internerd, I’m convinced Mr Wilson is reading porn and either 1)wishing the kid would split so he can touch himself in peace or 2) wishing his wife wasn’t home so he could touch Dennis.

  66. blase
    October 27th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    DTM: They must be outsourcing the strip, as the single bead of sweat on the temple is a common device in Japanese anime and manga, used to indicate nervousness, being put on the spot, etc.

    Look for Dennis and the gang to later be drawn with Bambi eyes, doing battle with an evil Mr. Wilson who owns an army of giant mecha-robots intent on destroying annoying kiddies.

    JP: If this storyline ends with Raju being safely dropped off at the house Judge Parker while Abbie has decided to take a cold shower, call it a night and is already asleep by the time he gets home, this will officially be the most unexciting comic ever.

    MT: With no time to lose on the trail of the missing Molly, Mark reduces his height and goes dogsurfing!!!! Hang ten, dude!

  67. blase
    October 27th, 2006 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Oops, typo. That should be:

    JP: If this storyline ends with Raju being safely dropped off at the house while Abbie has decided to take a cold shower, call it a night and is already asleep by the time he gets home, this will officially be the most unexciting comic ever.

  68. blase
    October 27th, 2006 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    10/28 MW: “A lot of interesting characters live in this condo!”

    With all the press over the Aldo story arc, and this blog being mentioned, how could one not at this point guess that the writer of Mary Worth has taken notice? Will MW become a self-conscious parody of its former self?…A hip, post-ironic comic strip version of “Snakes on a Plane?” Will she be able to pull off a good “intentionally bad” that stands up to the previous “unintentionally bad and laughable” efforts, or will it be a lame, poserly kind of “intentionally bad” that makes it obvious that she’s onto us and is trying too hard? …and will that poserly kind of “intentionally bad” become laughable in its own right?

  69. Marion Delgado
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    I am still lobbying to have us officially nickname april’s band

  70. Poteet
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    10/28 (Saturday)

    MT — Is it just me, or is Andy looking more appealing now, a la Molly? And of course adding to his appeal is the fact that he’s actually moving fast and is not taking time for endless exposition, drinking coffee, picking up film, or jawing with other dogs. Yes, go, Andy! Go! You’re the only hope Molly’s got! Plus it’s looking like your IQ is more than that of Jake, Snake, and Mark put together.

    MW — This is probably quite unfair, but I suddenly am remembering some James Bond novel I read decades ago which included a white-haired sweet old nurse with twinkly blue eyes who turned out to be an ex-Nazi who really enjoyed torture.

    JP — Hey, an unexpected plot swerve! Kewl!

    RMMD — Wasn’t June’s trip to the DMV first mentioned about three months ago? It’s taking on the colossal import of the 19th Century Grand Tour.

    Foob — Oh. My. Gawd. Even for Foobville, this is almost beyond belief. I am SO going to bed now.

  71. mumbles
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    FOOB: The only thing that’s going to prevent April’s band from total high school humiliation is if Becky’s band features a prolonged solo on a comb covered with tissue paper.

    (DT)GT: Who knew that Ted Danson was Tommy’s father?

  72. blase
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    FW: are kids these days really that rude and that forward?

  73. moe99
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    I hope Ella does an update of High School Confidential and titles it Charterstone Confidential.

  74. Damaris
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:26 am [Reply]


    Your post reminded me of the short-running TV Funhouse and its cartoon featuring a boy named Mischievous Mitchell, a neo-Nazi version of Dennis the Menace.

    [sigh] I miss that show.

  75. Bobdog
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    That’s not a bead of sweat — that’s spittle from Dennis “spraying it” not just “saying it.” — hence Mr. Wilson’s look of disgust.

    Also, the way Dennis has his legs crossed looks very unnatural and uncomfortable — he’s Dennis the Menace, not Dennis the Contorntionist.

  76. AppleGirl
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    JP – State College Bobby is the most dreamy, adorable, loveable guy I’ve ever seen. Really a shame he’s just a cartoon, because I am totally in love with him.

    And I am sure he is totally in love with me, too. I refuse to believe that he prefers to be alone…

  77. Audible Sigh
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    #74 Mischievous Mitchell; of shows featuring puppets on Comedy Central, TV Funhouse was my favorite

    JP: No, State College Bobby, brains were all Raju had, that and Third World economics, he can’t even get 80s chic right, throw the poor fellow a bone, let him believe you’re stupid, gaze at him lovingly when you insist he explain his complicated research to a poor weak-minded fellow like you

    MW: If that old lady doesn’t have a garrotte, I will feel sorely misled

  78. Harry Paratestes
    October 28th, 2006 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT: Wow, Stormy’s dad has the same hairdo as Mary Worth!
    GA: Walt’s got the heartbreak of Alzheimer’s, it seems. Between him and Grandpa Chinnuts, maybe the ‘ailing elderly’ are a hot story line these days. That’s a good excuse for him to start hitting on Clovia.
    JP: Musclebound nerds with boat-wrestling scholarships challenging Raju in a geek-out! What next? Scrabble marathons?

  79. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2006 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    Having been off due to Real Life issues and too much Television Without Pity lately….

    Thanks, Josh, for using my “ol’ Flattop Hitler” in the “Show’s Over” thread. Nice addition to getting a runner-up spot this week. (Assuming neither one of us has gone “My Sweet Lord” on the other, that is! ;o))

    And, YIKES!, Margo this week. First the misandry cliche, then the fist bobble the next day! If she indeed is going to punch some guy named Eric, she won’t be the first comic strip lady to do that, right, Lizardbreath?

    And I lose track of MW for one – partial – week, and the quest for Dr. Aintgettinany suddenly turns into a biddy war?? What in Tweaker/Ritzilla/Aldo is going on here?

  80. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2006 at 3:31 am [Reply]


    DtM: If Mr. Wilson’s going manga/anime on us, he should at least make it more FLCL-like. And it seems alittle unsettling to see Dennis paraphrase David Letterman’s snark/self-depricating comment directed at Bill O’Reilly from tonight. With Wilson’s Hitler book, that makes this strip “Dennis the Left-Wing Bomb-Thrower”.

    MW: Huh. Suggestive lesbian dialogue from the two old ladies at Charterstone. And Aldo had to miss it! Damn!

    JP: Oh, Raju, will your indignities never end???

  81. Adam
    October 28th, 2006 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    I thought it was Beedle too, but I think it’s Beedie. Look at the L’s in the other balloons..

  82. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2006 at 3:44 am [Reply]

    The 28th:

    SM: Is the “World Famous Daily Bugle” anywhere near the “World Renown New York City Public Library”? Plus, MJ sexily saying “Tiger”… and almost directly across from it in my paper, the comic strip “Tiger”! Brrr-rrr-rrrrr!!

    FOOB: Well, it’s no Moog synthesizer, but….

    FC: …..I mean, sympathizer…..

    FOOB: ……but it’ll do.

    Dilbert: Now, if he’d said “Flattop Hitler”…..

    Zits: Creeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyyyyyy…!

  83. Junior
    October 28th, 2006 at 4:50 am [Reply]

    #44- The song is called: Man Smart, Woman Smarter….
    Prophetic at times I believe… And I’m a man..

  84. Von Zeppelin
    October 28th, 2006 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    Has anyone noticed that Ella, the newest Charterstonian, is actually Harry S Truman in drag?

  85. Doug Puthoff
    October 28th, 2006 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    11-28 PBS: Baskets weren’t the only thing Wilt Chamberlain scored.

    RMMD–Oh jeepers, back to more of “White Bread Theatre.” Wake me up when Slut Queen and Company return.

  86. Jimmy
    October 28th, 2006 at 6:13 am [Reply]

    MW– is it Iris BEEDIE or BEEDLE?

    And already I’m mentally repulsed by the Yard Bell. She’s trouble… big trouble.

  87. Von Zeppelin
    October 28th, 2006 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    For Better/Worse 10/28: Say what you might about her plotting and artwork, Ms. Johnson does a great trumpet sound effect.

  88. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    October 28th, 2006 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Notice that Mr. Wilson, who supposedly hates having Dennis around, has a Menace-sized rocking chair with a swirly M carved into it parked next to his own chair.

    Today, as always, Apartment 3-G is much improved by putting “Suddenly …” at the top of the last panel.

  89. Sheilagh
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Oh boy, I can see the FOOB plot coming! Uncle Mustache will teach the kids some kind of fun weird sounds they can make with improvised wind instruments. They’ll add it to their Halloween performance and bring down the house — thoroughly upstaging old Becka, who will have a hissy fit. Am I right???

  90. Claude
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson’s book is a kind of Rorschach Test for the readers. Most of us on go directly to the Hitler argument because that’s how so many people on the Internet think. Don’t believe me? Check out ANY thread in the Newsgroups.

    Personally, I was starting to think that after five years I’m starting to think like a Baltimorean. I thought it was a picture of Mr. Boh on the cover of the book.

  91. dramashoes
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    #76 Applegirl: I agree; state college Bobby is way dreamy. I bet he’s got a “full boat” in his trousers. Of course, Margo still has me locked in her bedroom, so it really doesn’t matter what I think.

  92. Old Fogeyette
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MT: FINALLY, Mark gets off his ass and actually starts to track Molly, rather than just talking about it. Will he be in time? Will Andy corner Snake and Jake? Will I be able to tell the characters apart when he does?

    JP: As Poteet noted, kewl! We’re going to have a math-off!

    GF: I know a lot of cc’ers don’t find this strip funny, and I admit that I sometimes don’t either. But it’s always interesting and great to look at, and for the last few weeks it’s also been rather surreal, as if channeled from an alternate world where everything I learned as a pretentious, philosophy-major undergraduate, including sick jokes told at drunken, smoky late night dorm study sessions, was somehow crammed into the head of a psychotic cat. I like that.

  93. Derelict
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    FBOW: Actually, the “secret weapon” April has in mind is either

    a) connecting Unca Phil’s device to a five-gallon bottle of Jim Beam and dispensing funnel-shots to the audience, or

    b) sticking the mouthpiece up her ass on stage and getting an enema while Eva sings. She can then expel the contents of her colon as a solo, thus making 4-Evah + Eva one of Canada’s greatest performance-art troupes.

  94. Edward
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    State College Bobby’s Jeepish thing makes zoom-zoom streaks in panel one. Not as fast looking as DtM’s will be when Mr Wilson starts flinging his feces.

  95. roydrink
    October 28th, 2006 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Today’s winner of the “What planet are they from?” award goes to A. White of W. Townsend, MA for his contribution to TDIET.

    A teenager who has the initiative to clean the garage & volunteers to wash the car on his own? A parent who complains about it?


    Sign me up for one of those kids, oh yeah!

    It makes Pluggers look good today.

  96. dshea
    October 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FOOB – So why does Uncle Phil have a beer bong (or enema kit?) handy anyways? I don’t remember his character very well; is there something I’m missing?

  97. Ten Day Dinosaur
    October 28th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Hmmm… In reference to Denis the Menace, the cover looks kind of like the decapitated head of Astroboy, which would make it a rather odd form of homage.Who reads a book with someone’s head floating on a cover devoid of title, author, critical reviews, or anything that could help you figure out whether said book was worth reading. Bleh.

    Continuing the manga bent in today’s comics, I present exhibit B, Nikki’s hair. I can’t begin to imagine how many bottles of gel died for that hair. Of course, their sacrifice was in vain, because Nikki’s hairstyle does not convey any cool teen rebellion (or any statement that styled hair should convey, ie. I’m a sex muffin!). Instead, it looks as though a piece of shag carpet that had been chewed on by a large, drooly dog attached itself to his head and won’t let go.

    Okie, okie. Um… Unlurk’d!

  98. Ten Day Dinosaur
    October 28th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Huh. I aplogize for my many gramatical errors, and, as a rather pitiful excuse, I’m trying to drink my morning coffee and type at the same time.

  99. Blarg
    October 28th, 2006 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Today’s “Tom the Dancing Bug” has a Mallard Fillmore parody. Though it’s not so much a parody as a MF comic, since MF is beyond parody anyway.

  100. Rex Parker
    October 28th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    What bothers ME most about Mr. Wilson in this panel is that (if we may judge a book by its cover) he is apparently reading a book entitled “Children’s Drawings of Hitler.”

  101. Red Greenback
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Todays Frazz started off pretty well: Mrs.Olsen planning to greet trick or treaters dressed as a dentist, but “MR. WHIPPLE’S HAPPY PLACE”?…that’s just WRONG!

  102. Red Greenback
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    …and hilarious!

  103. Albatross
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    “Ella Byrd”? A likely story! As we all know, a bird’s feather is used to make an arrow… and someone who makes arrows is called a fletcher. Ella Byrd is none other than Jessica Fletcher, here to investigate the mysterious demise of one Aldo Kelrast, aka “A Old Stalker!”

    Methink’s Mary Worth’s days as a free woman are numbered! Soon we’ll be reading episodes of “Eh?s: Life on the Inside at a Maximum Security Retirement Prison.”

    “Name’s Worth, MARY Worth. Me ‘n the boys, see, we run this joint, an’ if you’re smart you’ll pony up the smokes generous-like, and we’ll all be friends, see? Otherwise my girl Tobie here will get angry. An’ y’don’t want Tobie to get angry, ’cause ugly things happen when Tobie gets angry…”

  104. juggernaut
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    That little whiny-ass brat in RMMD seems to be all complaints, w/ no helpful or constructive criticisms, no effort to help find a solution to his family’s current situation. If I was mom, I’d consider selling him on the black market.

  105. Islamorada Girl
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Nikki’s hair isn’t just any hair. It’s the kind of hair that would make a hairdesser kick a hole in a stained glass window. It looks like he bought it at Tina Turner’s yard sale. Every morning he suspends it from the ceiling, then lets it fall on his head like sea gull poop. It’s a tragically fsiled attempt to emulate his hero, Andy Worhol.

  106. MGArchitect
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    On Judge Parker, State College Bobby is about to go all Mendeleev on Raju until Raju squeals like a pig.

  107. MGArchitect
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    For those of you who are concerned about the slowness of recent events on Mary Worth, please note that the cartoon will no longer be “staying the course”. From now on, benchmarks will be set such as Ella meets Mary, Ella meets Toby, Ella has tea, Ella rummages through her handbag, Ella eats a tic-tac. There will not be any timeline for when she actually might contribute significantly to the strip.

  108. Harry Paratestes
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Ella’s a disgraced pet psychic who has turned her pseudo-profundities into a business of fleecing the credulous and other mouth-breathers. She’s already got Iris nailed, and Iris is sitting on the couch with the expression of a deer caught in the beam of a jacklight.

  109. MGArchitect
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    On Mark Trail, Andy will run all the way to Busch Stadium during the seventh inning of the World Series and see that Snake or Jake is singing “God Bless America”. Or is that Billy Ray Cyrus?

  110. Bill James
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    “Chemistry major with a 4.0 GPA”. Could we have a possible JP/RMMD crossover? Raju and WTM working together? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode. Which would be the first exciting episode.

  111. Bookworm
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Mr. W is sweating because he thinks Dennis is onto his stolen artwork scam. Statue of Dennise the Menace Stolen

  112. dramashoes
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    OK, Brooke McEldowney, you win. I am going to read A Midsummer Night’s Dream right now so I can figure out what the hell is going on in Pibgorn. I hope you are satisfied, Mr. Smartypants Literary Book Guy.

  113. yellojkt
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Bobby and Raju are actually on their way to a different party so they can score with some drunk chicks in French maid outfits.

  114. yellojkt
    October 28th, 2006 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is that a French fry in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    It’s good to see freak dancing make it to the comics.

  115. Josh
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Wow. I was going to say something about today’s Mt. Foob adventure with Uncle Phil of the Canadian Brass, but #93, you said exactly what I had in mind. I mean, word for word.

    I would add this plot possibility, though: the 4Evah + Eva crew and their new, slick Hose-a-Phonium is tragically upstaged by Fat Albert and the Junkyard Gang. They split the vote, and Becky still trounces both of them to win the Battle of the Bands. But at least they can drink with their instruments, and they do because the Junkyard Gang brought along some Steel Reserve for everyone to share.

  116. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Don’t you hope State College Bobby and company are trying to recruit Raju for White Trash Momma’s meth lab with the test tubes and stuff? Elvis can become jealous of Raju and Mohawk Man can intervene. Molly the B can lead Mark and Andy to the lab just as parolee Tommy the Tweaker comes by to see what his gang has been up to while he was in stir. I’m not sure how the Amazing Talking Studio of Apartment 3-G would fit in.

  117. Crankenstank
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Put out an APB on Mr. Wilson — Dennis’ statue has gone missing from our local park. From today’s strip, the motive may have been to sell the bronze as scrap to deal with Mr. Wilson’s chronic unemployment.

  118. Adam de Quebec
    October 28th, 2006 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    State College Bobby and Shiny-Headed Mohawk Guy:
    Really Perennial Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Villains Bebop and Rocksteady? You Decide! (

  119. Anonymous
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    MW ..There are a lot of interesting characters living in this condo!

    Well, not as many as there used to be….

  120. Bill James
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    California may have lost their Dennis the Menace statue, but Colorado still has Steve Canyon.

  121. mattt
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Raju sure looks shocked in that last panel. I wonder why? Maybe the chem major Bobby will realize, after chatting with him a bit, that Raju is actually a huge fraud and doesn’t know jack squat about anything.

  122. Anonymous
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised no one noticed Mr. Wilson has a rather geneneous helping of, um, area.

    Mooseknuckle, anyone?

  123. Moby
    October 28th, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    I can hear it now: “We have met the enemy, and it is cookin’ meth in a bare midriff shirt.”

  124. Ohyes
    October 28th, 2006 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Raju’s next surprise will come when he realizes that Bobby is, like, totally down with the Pakistani view of Kashmir, and pretty freakin’ mad about it.

  125. Amy
    October 28th, 2006 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    The thing that really bothers me about this panel is the single bead of sweat on Mr. Wilson’s forehead. I’m pretty sure this is his last moment of sanity before he snaps into a child-murdering rage.

    And this bothers you why?

    I’m sitting back and looking forward to tomorrow’s strip, personally.

  126. Amy
    October 29th, 2006 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    Harry, #7–no, Curtis is complaining that his parents are being mushy. Standard “kids are embarrassed when their parents say loveydovey things to each other” humor.

  127. dre
    October 29th, 2006 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Boss, the lady’s name is IRIS BEEDIE, as in “beady eyes”.

  128. Grandlaff
    October 29th, 2006 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Re the flexible hose & funnel “horn,” here is exceedingly rare live footage of the late great Viv Stanshall of Bonzo Dog fame, playing just such a device as he whirls it over his head near the 2:00 mark during “I’m the Urban Spaceman.” (I’d always wondered what that sound was on the album.)

    And this is after playing recorder through his nose earlier in the song.

  129. Craig Shergold
    October 30th, 2006 at 2:07 am [Reply]

  130. Craig Shergold
    October 30th, 2006 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    42: “That Navajo code-talker stuff makes me soooooo hot!”

  131. Mountain Mama
    October 30th, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    As far as the anagrams of Ella’s name go, my pick is “All Be Dry.” Especially when you consider the ages of these women.

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  134. Roger M. Wilcox
    January 15th, 2014 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    It’s January 2014 as I write this.

    If this Rex Morgan strip were printed today, the Breaking Bad jokes would be all over the place.

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