Main content:

Bucket blather

Crankshaft, 12/3/11

Oh, look, this week’s Crankshaft ended whimsically after all! Crankshaft’s nemesis built a mailbox out of the rock-hard inedible brownies, and Crankshaft caused thousands of dollars worth of damage to school district property when he backed into it. Also, three children in the back row of seats on the bus were terribly injured.

Gil Thorp, 12/3/11

It’s been far too long since we were treated to the Bucket, Milford’s inexplicably popular teen hangout spot, as a component of vaguely filthy-sounding conversation in Gil Thorp. The last three panels here may not quite reach the level of “Liz Ritter all but forces Stormy Hicks to go to the bucket,” but they’re not far off.

256 responses to “Bucket blather”

  1. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: 5445!

  2. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Yay! First post!

  3. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    And second, too!

  4. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    And… oh nevermind.

  5. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Gee, sure is quiet here… too quiet…

  6. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    omigosh what’s that in the shadows over there? is that drool? Arrrrrrrrr…..

  7. Terry in Maryland
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Brave Sir Kit ran away.
    Bravely ran away, away!

    (Bravely borrowed from Monty Python)

  8. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Barney? Is that you?

  9. Wally Winkerbean
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    So, did they raise enough money to save the basketball season?

    Who cares, Les wound up with a crappy vacation to Africa instead of to Disneyland.

  10. ArchieNemesis
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    I just returned from a week in Canada – not a single person was remotely like any character in Mark Trail. The scenery, however, was very similar.

  11. Jimbo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Man, oh man, oh man, Josh! How could you possibly refer back to Nov 22, 2006 to comment about Gil Thorpe* and not mention that published on that day was the best Mark Trail ever involving Kelly Welly, a cave and a pet bear?! At least a hell of a lot better than this current intolerable episode that’s been going on for four months already without any fisticuffs.


  12. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#Y56): The Amusing Spiderman: Showing publishers and editors as obnoxious, wild-eyed liars is bound to get this strip dropped from a few newspapers. It’s a display of marketing genius we can all support!

    I see your point, but I think the psychology is a little deeper than that here. The Spiderman creators are assuming that publishers and editors who read this will think that it is referring to all the OTHER publishers and editors, whom they know from personal experience to be obnoxious, wild-eyed liars. Unlike themselves, who are brave, selfless defenders of Truth, Justice etc.

    Very clever.

  13. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#10): Were you not frightened by the enormous talking fauna?

  14. ArchieNemesis
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#13): No, but the rush-hour traffic in downtown Vancouver still gives me nightmares.

    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Zits: I remember this gadget being sold in catalogs like Miles Kimball and Lillian Vernon. It was this plastic box that you would cram all of your soap slivers into with a little bit of water. Then, you would screw the lid down and it would compress all of the soap slivers into one, somewhat ugly, bar of soap.
    When I was a kid, I thought it was a stupid device that only old cheapskates would bother with. Now that I am an old cheapskate, I really want one.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#1):

    Nehemiah, I love you like a brother, but it’s time to move on. What about the other characters in BG/SS who have been cast into oblivion? Do you realize it’s been over 50 years since SUT TATTERSAIL last appeared alongside his pal Snuffy?

    (Marx even made a soft plastic figure of Sut Tattersail in the 1950s, so he deserves to be returned to a position of prominence in the strip!)

  17. TheTJ
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Oh Crankshaft, even your most whimsical sight gags depend heavily on Schadenfreude. I’d ask if you knew what damage you’re doing to the funny pages, but since you’re set in the funkyverse you’re probably thrilled about the actual doom about to befall Cancerville (Or whatever you town is called)

  18. Liam
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-And I thought you negro guys weren’t allowed out in the daylight. Guess we both learned something.

    MT-Since your editor obviously has an outdated sense of what women can and can’t do.

    RMMD-”Don’t have a cow”? This just proves that soap opera comic writers are several decades behind culture than the rest of society.

  19. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    DtM Looks like a couple of plates of grubs to me.

    MrBoffo I’m not sure “incredulous” means what Mr. Martin thinks it means.

    MG&G Bogus. That’s not even a planet.

  20. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#18):This just proves that soap opera comic writers are several decades behind culture than the rest of society. And this surprises you?

  21. Mibbitmaker
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16): I’d be happy to see Spark Plug come back to headline his own strip, myself.

    Dr. Howard
    Dr. Fine
    Dr. Howard…

    DT: Even in-universe the names are known to be bizarrely contrived.

    MT: The Magazine she works for is Animal S&M Monthly.

    MW: I like to think Mary says, “opportunity to give” the way Bugs Bunny says stuff like, “My public! How they love me! Heh-heh…”

    RMMD: Okay, I officially want this Spider to end up like Boris the Spider!

    Stone Soup: Finally, someone with some perspective!

    ZtP: In spite of the fact that I really like todays offering, I still wouldn’t want to eat or drink anything from any restaurant run by Zippy the Pinhead, ever!

  22. bats :[
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16): Do you realize it’s been over 50 years since SUT TATTERSAIL last appeared alongside his pal Snuffy? A sad absence, a grievous loss, brother, but the comic strip is NAMED “Barney Google & Snuffy Smith”, not “Sut Tattersail & Snuffy Smith.”

    But, of course, the return of Mr. Tattersail would be a step in the right direction. He may even be able to shed some light on our missing Barney. The Committee thanks you for bring this to our attention.

  24. Col. Havoc
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    GT: Last Three Panels? Uh, I think one of the panel separations is actually the edge of a locker. Although admittedly, with Gil Thorp, it’s hard to tell.

  25. Droopy Says
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#12): I dunno. Based on observation, “clever” is the last thing I’d expect from the newspaper Spiderman group.

    What I’d like to see is the article Jameson is writing. It’s bound to make more sense than the last few arcs, even if it’s being written by a spaced-out meth addict who’s lost his last tenuous grip on reality . . . oh. Art finally imitates life at Spiderman.

  26. John C Fremont
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16): I was hoping you were kidding about the Sut Tattersail action figure, but…

    Man, Marx made all sorts of weird stuff back then, including the B. O. Plenty Wind Up Toy, which is now on my Christmas Wish List.

    Thank you, Google. You’re a dear, dear friend.

  27. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Crank Credit where it’s due. That was pretty clever.

  28. pugfuggly
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: ….and 20 years later, thanks to Cranky’s little mishap, the school board didn’t have enough cash to keep the sports program afloat. His misery lives on!

    GT: I’m hardly a Gil Thorp regular, so you’ll have to excuse my newbie questions, but I really need to know a couple things. Like why in the second panel is there a girl in the background being poked in the face by a man in a skirt (in the boy’s locker room?). Is ‘Asperger’s’ code for ‘Crips’ in this school, and is that why the boy seems to be flashing gang signs? Do these strips always end on an ambiguously homoerotic note?

    MT: “Would you like some honey for your tea? Just scrape some off the wall: I trained some bees to build this house…”

    MW: Mary’s so happy about giving, she’s taking the casserole back in the second panel just so she can give it again!

    Pluggers See? If we start letting pluggers get married, it’s just a slippery slope to letting people marry their pets!

  29. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#15): You’re a Plugger if you want a box you shove bar soap slivers into to make one somewhat ugly one.

  30. wossname
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Edgy DC and all the funny folks on the float!

    Archie – When Archie and Betty go out to a fancy restaurant, he wears a sparkling white T-shirt with a tie painted on, and she does something to her hair to make it resemble a dead possum.

    Crank – I can’t believe not one of us predicted this.

    DT – So beautifully noirish. I can so imagine Raymond Chandler describing the scene. (I’ll let you do your own imagining.)

    RMMD – “Don’t have a cow”? Is that what really something teenagers say in 2011?

    @Krazy Kat (#Y30): The first time I ever dared post here, I tried being Krazy Kat (because I share your admiration for the George Herriman strip and even have a Krazy Kat tattoo). I quickly realized there was already a Krazy Kat (probably you, but maybe one of the others) and switched my nym to homage to Terry Pratchett.

  31. stinkfoot
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    So now we know the secret ingredient in Lena’s fudge brownies: coprolites.

  32. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Over there in Pluggers, I see a bear who’s going to end up in a muzzle but won’t putting it in any “caves” in the near future, if you know what I mean. *wink wink* I think you do.

    What’s wrong with “Xanadu,” Mrs. Thatababy? Xanadooo, XaaaanadoooOOOooooo! All the sweet, green icing flow-ooooowing down…And I’ll never have that slide ruuuuuuule again, a-gaaaaaaaain!

    No searching the forests and accidentally euthanizing up a wayward Plugger by mistake. Kelly has a picture of the bear that will be soon mauling her.

  33. Effluvius Erratus
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    H&J: Future historians will look at today’s Herb & Jamaal and interpret such a tepid dig at credit card companies in this, the fourth year of The Great Unravelling, as just one more datum marking Citigroup‘s rise in neo-feudal world order.

    MT: Kelly Welly does her damn job! That’s a twist I was not expecting!

    Peanuts (Houston Chron. reruns): I never saw this series when it originally ran (I may not have been born yet), but it overs a lot of insight into why Lucy pulls the ball away.

    Pluggers: As in the ante bellum South, Pluggers fuck their slaves with impunity and rub their wives faces in it.

    S-M: Paging Mr. Orwell, Mr. Orwell please pick up the red and blue Spidey-phone.

  34. Liam
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#20):

    I am still naive enough to believe that soap opera comic writers should be as up to date as the rest of society.

  35. Liam
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft-Let’s see what injuries were caused by the accident. Cuts from the broken glass and jagged metal falling into the bus. Broken bones and maybe a death caused by impact with rock hard brownies.

  36. Jonn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    So they’re going to fire Crankshaft, right?


  37. Harry F
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Today’s Spiderman:
    J Jonah: I’m gonna write the story of how I outsmarted The Big Boss

    P Parker: But that’s not how it happened.

    Other Guy: But how would you know? The only people there were Jonah, The Big Boss and Spiderman.

    P Parker: I gotta get me some name tags.

  38. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Oop – “That is crazy, Alley. You’ll never get Ooola and Lola into a threesome. Never, never. Lola and Ooola. Nev. Still, nothing ventured, eh? Here, take my button and my camera, and godspeed.”

    3G – “My emotions were overwhelming. By which I mean I actually experienced emotions. See this little tear on my cheek? I almost changed my facial expression.”

    Crock – [12/1] “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to fuck with whoever did this! Which I mean in the most literal, clinical sense! By the way, get this stiff out of here. He’s depressing my patients who might have a chance at survival.”

  39. Scott Bot
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    9CL – I doubt I could recognise Mrs. Bot by just a picture of her ass. Of course, I really wouldn’t want to, either…

    A3G – Thanks to Katy Perry for her swell job of filling in for Margo in the first panel (also, you might want to have a doctor take a look at your index finger – I don’t think it’s supposed to bend that way).

    FW – ‘I think it’s neat.’
    ‘I was hoping for Disney World.’
    ‘I think you should just shut the fuck up and consider yourself lucky to have won anything at all.’

    MT – Kelly must be on assignment for Bear Bondange Monthly.

    Pluggers – Ya know, if you’re gonna talk to your mistress, the least you could do is be discreet…

    RMMD – Introducing a new series – The Simpsons – All Grown Up, starring Bart Simpson as Spider.

  40. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Gasoline – I’ll wager that for a slight extra fee, the new car will have the same VIN, and all the customer’s stuff will still be right where he left it.

    Gil – Asperger kids just need to learn! This is so heartwarming. They only need a little understanding and violence.

    Fun fact: “The Bucket” got its name because one time Terry Jones barfed all over the place.

    Judge – [12/1] “Being around you makes me think of children. Rich, spoiled, entitled, whiny children who get everything handed to them on a silver platter.”

  41. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Luann – “Who am I? I’m the guy who’s going to bring this story together in accordance to that which has been foretold by the Mudges of Mudgeville. My name is not important. You can call me… The Firestarter.”

    Momma – The joke here must be that Marylou is just as skinny as Francis, while Momma doesn’t even have legs. Then Lazarus found that he still had a panel to fill and just winged it.

    Zits – Nice progress, Connie, but you’ll need to polish up that look of bleak existential horror if you’re ever going to take advantage of the next vacancy for a reacting character in Shoe. Your slow evolution into a giant humanoid bird person, however, is coming along fine.

  42. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#30): Is that what really something teenagers say in 2011?
    I’d mock this if I didn’t have the same kind of editing wreck from time to time. Well, okay. Just a little: mockity mock.

    @Effluvius Erratus (#33): I just want to know why Herb’s credit card is the size of a paperback book. Is it a novelty gag card that squirts or gives electrical shocks, so that it needs room for a battery or a water reservoir?

    @Scott Bot (#39): I doubt I could recognise Mrs. Bot by just a picture of her ass.
    It’s not just a picture. It’s a cutting-edge, hi-tech, multisensory display. Old folks like me would call it “Smell-o-Vision.”

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#8):
    Anybody here
    Seen my old friend Barney?
    Can you tell me where he’s gone?
    I thought I spotted Spark Plug
    Stuffed and mounted at a carney,
    Guess his master’s moved on.

    Anybody here
    Seen my old friend Skeezix?
    Can you tell me where he’s gone?
    Might be in San Francisco
    Lookin’ round for all the free sex,
    Not suspectin’ it’s a con.

    Anybody here
    Seen my Chronicle page?
    Can you tell me where it’s gone?
    It used to be convenient,
    Now it puts me in a… comical rage…
    Usin’ Darkgate from now on.

    Anybody here
    Seen my old friend BC?
    Can you tell me where he’s gone?
    I thought I saw him goin’ over the hill
    With Barney and Skeezix and Chron.

  44. Cecilia Dominic
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Don’t normally comment, but I’m curious as to whether today’s Non Sequiter was replaced in anyone else’s papers. This is the one that appeared online. The Atlanta Journal Constitution ran a different one.

    Btw, Josh, I’m going to let you alert me as to when Mary Worth becomes remotely interesting again. I’m about to choke from all the smugness. It’s like she has to bring her sense of entitlement back from someone daring to take advantage of her stupidity.


  45. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    GT: So Milford avoids failing to beat its whipping boy opponent (unlike, say, Tennessee), but surely this is no cause for celebration. Oh, wait. Asperger’s dudes don’t know any better!

  46. Hi There
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]


    Les had always been partial to K-Cars. Sure, the boxy look and minimal acceleration had never been anything to please the girls, but he had been a citizen of Loserville, USA since Day 1, so what did he care? The K-Car was an example of good ol’ American ingenuity and know-how, saving Chrysler from bankruptcy back in the ‘80s. Yeah, the engines used to leak oil and the smell was godawful, but the miles-per-gallon – out of this world. Definitely a money-saver for a poor boy like himself.

    Les had hated Gremlins, and not just for their looks. The looks were pretty bad, though – no teenager ever painted the words ‘Pussy Wagon’ in bright red on the side of a Gremlin, that was for sure. Les’ Dad had owned a mustard brown Gremlin, as if he wanted to make sure that Les didn’t lose his virginity until two days after his wedding. That Gremlin had some sort of carbon monoxide leak, such that if you drove around with the windows closed you got dizzy.

    Barry Balderman had borrowed the Gremlin once with the intention of driving around the highway for hours with Cindy Summers. Apparently, Barry wanted to get her all dizzy and stupid and then take her to ‘Makeout Lane’ in hopes of getting to third base. Les never found out what happened that night, but Barry was sent to juvie detention and had to drop out of school.

    Three days later Les found a tampon in the carberator, whatever that meant.

  47. Harold
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp has cured a kid of Asperger’s by having him play football! Next: Gil cures chronic depression with his “cheer the hell up!” therapy.

  48. Weaselboy
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: It’s bad enough that you insult your wife that way, but do you have to do it while you’re having sex with a chair?

  49. tb4000
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    9CL: Amos is not that good. No man is that good, and I am one.

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]

  51. Galadriel
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    The Funkyverse is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Smirks. Three were given to the Original Characters, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Supporting Cast, great miners of comedy gold, and foils for punchlines. And nine, nine self-satisfied smirks were gifted to the readership, who, above all else, desire entertainment. But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Smirk was made. In the land of Africa, on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro, the Dark Lord Les Moore forged in secret a master Smirk, to control all others. And into this Smirk he poured his smugness, his ego and his will to dominate all conversations. One Smirk to rule them all.

  52. TheDiva
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    C’shaft: It figures that Cranky’s much-deserved comeuppance is delivered via yet more abuse to the nice, well-intentioned Lena. He can’t even be the victim without dragging someone else down with him.

    GT: Whatever you do, don’t let Tom Batiuk know Wally has competition in the Miraculous Recovery Department, otherwise he might up the ante and have Becky’s arm restored by a laying on of hands (from Les, of course).

    9CL: I’m trying to decide of this is offensive because it’s sexist, unrealistic, or sexist and unrealistic.

    A3G: That tattoo means LuAnn killed a guy in prison, right?

    BRSG: Suddenly the entire Internet makes sense.

    FW: “Waaaah, but I don’t wanna go to Africaaaaaaaaaa!” SHUT THE FUCK UP, LES.

    Luann: Ann displays complete indifference to Brad’s fate, once again proving that the “villains” in this strip are more sensible and clear-thinking than any of its designated protagonists.

    MW: Amy’s arm is improving by the day! Now she can use it to help Mary with her casserole-juggling act!

    Pluggers quietly ignore their spouse’s beastiality fetish.

  53. debussy fields
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    MT–After many weeks of silence, Johnny Mallotte is finally allowed to say something!

    MW–In her spare time, Mary is working on an autobiography to be titled: An Opportunity to Give a Shit.

  54. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    y’know, imnsho, this is the song that best describes Wiley’s efforts in NS. (without any of the humor, characterization, or subtlety of the video link.)

  55. Liam
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    MT-Okay now lick your lips and rub your nipples.

  56. whiteandornerdy
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: You know how kids never put their seatbelts on when they’re on the bus. Well they’ll learn now. Oh yes… They’ll learn now…

  57. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth talks about “an opportunity to give” while snatching the casserole from Amy’s hands. In my world, those two clauses are diametrically opposed.

    Judging by the ease of Amy’s temporarily lame arm holding it, that’s a balsa wood dish of rice cakes and styrofoam casserole.

    I notice Amy is neither fighting Mary for the casserole nor is she inviting Mary into her apartment. Amy knows that, like a wayward puppy, if you encourage a meddler, you can’t ever get rid of her.

  58. Rixter
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#8): Is it possible that Barney entered a witless witness protection program and is living in the wilds of Canada as an old woman? With a bear. And an odd hobby.

    Luann: After all that has happened, why is TJ hanging out at Weenie World? Oh… never mind.

    MW: “It’s an opportunity to give.” Which is why Mary is taking back her casserole. She’s given and she’ll give again. The same casserole. Over and over, sort of like a fruitcake.

    @Wally Winkerbean (#9): Yeah, Disney World is just not the same as Kilimanjaro. You can’t die on Space Mountain.

    FC: Never mind. Inappropriate.

    @Jonn (#36): Unfortunately, no. If anything, the war with Keesterman will escalate. Crankshaft will resort to his damned BBQ grill as a weapon.

  59. Sequitur
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    NOTE TO: Baka Gaijin
    SUBJECT: Single clown shoe

    As queek pointed out @50 above, in today’s Six Chix there is one clown shoe.

    While the fear factor of an individual clown shoe is not as intense as say, an entire clown, you may take solace that there is one mad clown out there hopping around on one foot.

    That is all.

  60. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Cecilia Dominic (#44): Hmmmm. Yes. We had this one

  61. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    FW: Les whining about winning a trip to Kilimanjaro instead of Disney World says Moore about his lack of personality and character than anything I can think of. Face it, Les — despite your pretentious high-handedness, you’re a Plugger.

  62. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Luann: T.J. is now poised to get an eyefull. Mama DeGroot is gonna be so jealous.

  63. cheech wizard
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    GT – I may be old-fashioned, but I can remember a time when Gil Thorp storylines didn’t end with homoerotic overtones. You know, there are other reasons besides Asperger’s that kids are shy and withdrawn.

  64. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Plug-grrrs: Pluggers may tolerate inter-species marriage, but they prefer sex with their pets.

  65. Anna Nimity
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Happy Saturday, Mudges!

    Now that the Houston Chron has discontinued their personalized comics page option, does anyone know a site where I can build another one? Checking them one at a time each day is te-di-ous. I am missing my daily dose of on-line comix – soooo sad….

    Thanks for your help, and stay warm (snowy snow here in Colorado…)

  66. btown
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you recognize no distinction between gender confusion and bestiality

  67. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Hmmm … an anagram for “Edda is an ass” is “An ass is dead.”

    Juggs Parker: In a time when police departments everywhere are cutting back on patrols or laying off officers due to funding woes, it’s nice to know the cops can still jump to a pointless round-the-clock surveillence at the snap of Randy’s gold-leafed fingers.

  68. btown
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: Everybody knows that J. Edgar Hoover was a cross-dresser. But who knew that his femme alter-ego was Mary Worth!

  69. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#15): I think you can still buy one of them soap thingamajigs at

  70. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#21): RMMD: Okay, I officially want this Spider to end up like Boris the Spider!
    Not gored by an ox, but serenaded by the Ox?

  71. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Cranky: The setup took several years, with those endless references to Lena’s brownies, but finally we have the payoff. And it’s actually funny.
    Batty takes the long view. You see, it’s called writing.

  72. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Deena in OR (#y24): Hi Deena! Welcome back!

    @Cecilia Dominic (#44): We didn’t have that one in the WashPost; we had the cha-cha-cha one.

    So my suspense for this weekend is fourfold:
    1) How the hell am I going to read almost 40 research-essay drafts through this haze of congestion and sneezing?
    2) Will Judge Randy break the great “Ew, there’s no way I’m sticking my boy parts into your girl parts” streak in Judge Parker?
    3) What mishap will befall Kelly Welly so she learns the lesson, once again, that girls aren’t supposed to try to be better than boys, unless they’re making pancakes?
    4) Will Mary Worth develop a callous on her back from constantly patting it?

  73. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    MT: “I got these pictures instead of Mark”? Doesn’t Kelly tag along on every assignment with the express intent of getting Mark, with the pictures serving only as a MacGuffin?

  74. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Harold (#47): If that doesn’t work, they can try Coach Kaz’s remedy: sideburns!

  75. The Gringo Kid
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Galadriel (#51): And then all in the shire were felled by cancer.

  76. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#53): Given the vagaries of Jackelrod’s word balloons, Johnny’s remark might have been uttered by anyone in the cabin, or maybe by a giant beaver or duck outside.

  77. FOOBed again
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Anna Nimity (#65): The Darkgate Comics Slurper! You can build a page, and it has a huge list of comics, including many webcomics.

    The only problem is that some of the newspaper comics don’t update as soon as they do in other places. “Baby Blues” is at least a couple weeks behind. I don’t think “On the Fasttrack” and “Safe Havens” update at all, or at least they’re way behind. There may be other glitches too but those are the ones I’m familiar with. Also it doesn’t have “Dustin” and “Reply All” yet.

  78. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Special bulletin: if you are not currently reading The Meek, now would be a terrific time to start, as the author has just re-uploaded the whole archive at a larger size, the better to appreciate the gorgeous art. [*] Seriously, do it. It’s very interesting thus far and looks like it’s going to be totally awesome when it gets fully into the swing of things.

    A3G – I’m…I’m a little baffled by Margo’s expression in panel two. She doesn’t look like someone concerned for her friend, or even like someone concerned that one-third of the rent may be losing her marbles. She looks like she’s having something rammed up an orifice by an unseen assailant. Where’s Tommie?

    DT – I’m sorry, but if I met a woman with eyes all over her body, my first response would not be “hey, how ya doin’?” It would be “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    FC – …why is there a bowl of salad on the shelf?

    FW – Yes, well, you’re a shallow twat. Also I’m pretty sure they don’t allow the earthly avatar of futility and despair into Disney World.

    GT – “Am I a ‘sport?’ Do I like to ‘get it on?’ Wink wink, nudge nudge?”

    JP – “Come on, spend the night with me! We can make insufferably smug, self-absorbed, entitled babies!”

    Luann – Brad got his firefighter job back? Oh no! How will Ann cope without that burning hunk of…hunk of…*pffsnrk* okay no, I can’t even snark this with a straight face. What a stupid pile of stupid.

    MT – No, Kelly, I think the brand of logic behind these photos is entirely your own.

    Pluggers – …

    RMMD – To the surprise of exactly nobody, Woody Wilson’s go-to reference for the youth menace is Bart Simpson.

    SM – I love Peter’s expression. “What? You can put stuff in a newspaper that isn’t true? But…but this means…oh my God, what if Mark Trail is a LIE!?

  79. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @whiteandornerdy (#56): Do they even have seat belts on school buses? I remember seeing news reports recently (within the last couple of years) that some safety experts are urging that they be installed, and other people are saying they aren’t needed. It doesn’t seem that they are widely used, anyway, if they are used at all.

  80. Weaselboy
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    FW comment for COTW.

  81. zenvelo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    GT: Why has Derek implanted a Guy Fawkes/Anonymous mask into his face? Is Gil Thorp now part of Vendetta?

  82. Weaselboy
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Well, the reply function didn’t work, so: Commodorejohn’s FW comment for COTW.

  83. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#45): Oooo – my Baltimore Sun comes late, but they had that one, not the tame one.

  84. cartooncritic2544
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Rudy Park. So…the author thinks the way to get out of crushing debt is to “start making the minimum payments“?

    That’s exactly what the credit card companies want as way to get people to pile on debt. You would think the writer of the strip, a New York Times reporter, would know that.

    No wonder our nation is so financially illiterate. Even pulitizer prize winning journalists don’t understand basic math.

  85. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#59): Well, it’s not as good as a dead clown wearing one shoe but it’ll have to do.

  86. Calico
    December 3rd, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#57):
    There’s a new Tim Horton Xmas ad on now for a special holiday mug, and the giver almost manages to pull the box back from the recipient each time he proffers it. Annoying yet kind of funny.
    I thought of that when I saw Mary casserole-wrangling this AM-with a woman who can only currently use one arm, as it were.

  87. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Boy, Tanya can’t decide if she’s worried about Kelly or her party. She vacillates between “take her to a hospital” and “just get her out of her” faster than an oscillating fan. Threatening to call the cops on Spider will get Kelly out of her house, but really, turning her over to the guy who od’d her is not really a sign of concern, is it?

    Over at az central, someone posted this comment: “I hope Spider gets to do serious gaol time over this. His lack of remorse is the sign of a true psychopath.” I was about to mark “Or a 16-year-old” but then I took another look at Spider. He’s got to be 36 at least…

  88. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#86): Difference is, who the heck would want to keep a Mary Worth Casserole of Meddle©? Amy’s practically re-fracturing her arm shoving it back in Mary’s hands. Smart woman, that Amy is.

  89. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @cartooncritic2544 (#84): Well, it depends on what “start making” means – you have to admit it’s better than paying less.

    But yeah, no kidding. I got this on a statement last year:

    If you make no additional charges using this card and each month you pay Only the minimum payment You will pay off the balance shown on this statement in about 24 years And you will end up paying an estimated total of $11,387.79
    If you make no additional charges using this card and each month you pay $170.99 (note: $32 more than the minimum) You will pay off the balance shown on this statement in about 36 months And you will end up paying an estimated total of $6,155.64 (Savings = $7,232.15)

  90. twg
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Jimbo (#11): Um, holy crap of weird flashbacks … did you ALSO see where Mary Worth is? OH MY GOD THE UNIVERSE HAS FOLDED OVER ON ITSELF. At least in the comics.

  91. Will
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    PBS: I wholeheartedly endorse Goat on this one. It would much politer to say “you’re boring the hell out of me, please shut up,” than to do the old cell-phone under the table routine.

  92. The Ridger
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann: BTW, I love how TJ is still patronizing Weenie World (what is it? The Montoni’s of the town?). I have a feeling the next line (after “And you are?”) will be “Auditioning for Brad’s old job. Under you. If you know what I mean.”

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#92): TJ would be perfect for Weenie World! Rumor has it he can handle three or four at once.

  94. bbofun
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G- In panel one, Margo looks delighted that Lu Anne had a nightmare. Not that that’s a surprise…

    MW- First of all, has anybody figured out what this is going to have to do with the missing girl? Did Amy One-Arm hurt her arm pulling the missing girl into her van? Did one of her “family and friends” kidnap the girl to be Amy’s “helper arm”?

    Secondly, Amy’s arm doesn’t seem that injured, does it? Yeah, she’s got the sling, but there’s no cast, and she’s moving it around a lot. Is this all a plea for sympathy?

    Finally, in panel two today, not only has Mary grabbed the casserole out of Amy’s hands, but she’s holding it with ONE HAND! Is she just demonstrating her superiority? Rubbing it in Amy’s face? “Look, cripple! I have the full use of my arms, but I can take this casserole away from you with only ONE HAND! Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh.”

    DT- Note to Brooke McEldowney: THAT’S how you draw an ass.


    Sorry. Must cleanse myself.

    Ahhh, Cul de Sac. Everything’s better now. That’s why I read you last.

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

  96. Calico
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#88):
    Hahahaha! A new type of compound break, exacerbated by casserole-shoving.
    I think Mare may have made this for her fractured friend:

  97. Calico
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and speaking of broken bones, I hope Les breaks a leg on his Kilimanjaro trip, literally.

  98. Anna Nimity
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    FOOBed again – Thanks! The page works really well. I’m back on track with the comics, yay!

  99. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    not as good as Benedryl, but here’s something for bb,u in hopes that she feels better soon.

    I’m guessing this kid is related to Baka Gaijin.

    Darth Vaderette. (not sure if want. . . .)

    no exceptions. (SFW, NSFS)

    ahhhh, the classics.

    party weasels, the aftermath.

    corgi’s come in white?!?!?

    new addition corgi not sure if want. (very cute)

  100. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wouldn’t it be great if Emily Smith were the sister of stripey-shirt Charley Smith? Maybe, years ago, Charley clawed his way out of a hardscrabble existence on the mean streets of Goleta, and since ensconcing himself in the platitudinous suburban comforts of Santa Royale, surrounded by his art-of-a-sort and Rodgers & Hammerstein eight tracks, with the easy pickins of bored-n-horny Charterstone females—and only Wilber Weston as his male competition—he lost touch with his family, gradually visiting less and less frequently, their blue-collar need so touching, so irritating—even his beloved little sister Emily, heartbroken at his departure and his distance. So now, Mary, with her “we’re all connected” smugness at full force, will, on a hunch, stop by Charley’s apartment with a nice frittata made from just slightly expired eggs and some salmon that’s started to get a bit slimy; she’ll knock on his door, and as she hands over the warm and pungent dish, she’ll casually mention, oozing empathy and concern, “Say, I was at the supermarket and saw a flyer about a missing girl—Emily Smith, I believe? Is she a relative of yours?”

    And as Charley gasps and his eyes fill with tears, Mary will put on her face of warmest concern: “Oh, my dear, do you actually know her? I’m so sorry!”

    But in her shriveled, nasty heart, there’s a little leap of vengeful joy.

  101. Black Drazon
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    As apparently the only fan of Homestuck here, I’m relieved to see that you all found today’s Gil Thorp as filthy as I did.

  102. Chareth Cutestory
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “Honey, I need you to bake me several dozen batches of brownies! Oh, cause I want to build an indestructible mailbox. So, why use your brownies? Cause they’re indestructible & inedible pieces of shi–hey wait, Lena! Where are you going?”

  103. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#99): Hee! I laughed (okay, and then broke into a coughing fit)! Thanks!

  104. Mr Frog
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    GT: *Inspirational Music* “Yes, Kid-Whose-Name-I-Can’t-Be-Arsed-To-Remember, I can do lots of things now! For example, I can go to a place I don’t really want to be and awkwardly fail at socialising with people I don’t really understand or share anything with! And it’s all thanks to the magic of full-contact sports!”

    I was going to post a long, ranty rant, but I’ll just cut it down to the essentials and simply say that I don’t really think Gil Thorp’s interpretation of pretty much anything Asperger’s bears any resemblance to actual reality.
    Having flayed that long-dead horse one last time, I will now drop the stick, walk away, and never speak of this again. You’re welcome.

    CS: This really just strikes me as the whimsical calm before the smirky, oppressively-gloomy storm.

  105. Jamus The Bartender
    December 3rd, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Gotta admit…..Amos has priorities.

    Dick Tracy: Damn. Well…..Christmas has indeed come early, has it not?

    FC: Was Bil ever awarded the Iron Cross? Because that would actually be kind of cool, if he did.

    reFOOB: Wow. Just read the last week’s Michael “Stickeyfingers ” Patterson arc, and am impressed with the way Lawrence is ready to throw Prince Michael under the bus. Cassandra Cat has some thoughts too, over to you, Cassandra.
    Thanks, Jamus. Great pull Michael, NOW, whatever you do , do NOT pussy out ( little joke there). You got away with it, just wrap it up, give it to Mommy at Xmas, and it’s like it never happened. Stealing’s like an affair, the first one is always the hardest, back to you, Jamus=^.^=
    Yeah, I don’t know what that last one was about….

    Luann: Ann, this is TJ. You don’t know it, but this is the young man whom you are shortly going to do. While he’s not very hard working, he has a lot of money from parents and is one hell of a gourmet cook. He will make a fine slave.

    Mary Worth: Wow, Mary’s just reaching here, now, isn’t she? Her credit cards were stolen, and we heard about it for a month, there’s a pretty girl on milk cartons, and now we have a middle aged woman with a broken arm. Mary ! Just pick someone and meddle already !! Dammit to hell !!!

  106. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#100): Actually, maybe Charley’s whole thing is that he works his musical-appreciating love-pad gigolo gig to support his dear little sister in a better life…

  107. Sequitur
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I think TJ bought WeenieWorld and is about to show Ann what sexual haressment is all about.

    By the way, on the Darkgate Comic Sluper, if you have a frozen comic you can right click on that comic, select “Open link in new tab” and it will take you to the souce of the comic with the latest update. Not perfect but it works.

  108. billman
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#77):

    About Darkgate’s late or missing updates. With some of them you can simply click on the strip (or as i do right click and open in new window (or tab if you’re into that kind of thing)) and you may get the most recent strip. It all depends on where they are getting the feed from. Many of the permanently stalled strips were from the, *sigh* Chron page builder and will not be updated until they (Darkgate) re-source them. Others just seem to get temporarily halted and will start up again for no apparent reason. (This has happened twice to Doonesbury since I’ve been using it, right now it’s a couple weeks behind, but open the strip in a new window and you get today’s strip from Slate.)

    Baby Blues they seem to be getting from the artist’s page which at some point in about September started running a week or so behind the published ones. I supplement the ones Darkgate does not have using a method queek suggested of bookmarking individual strips ‘gate doesn’t have (from say gocomics and/or some newspaper’s Comics Kingdom into a single folder then using “open all in tabs.” (You may want to use several subfolders if you have a slow machine as this can take huge amounts of system resources if you have a lot).

  109. Snuggs
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Hey, killing and maiming children is the name of the game in whimsical storytelling! What was the kill count in Willy Wonka, like six bratty kids?

  110. Mr Frog
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    9CL: DT: Aaaand it’s a cheesecake-off in the comics this weekend, as two strips start off the day’s offering with a great big dérrière right there in the middle of the first panel! Relative newcomer Dick Tracy comes in hard and fast with a devastating combination of Layers and Leopard-Print with a Self-Awareness Sucker Punch to chase, quickly establishing relative newcomer Christmas Early as a classy sexpot with a ridiculous name that the writers are happy to make fun of, but longtime veteran 9 Chickweed Lane soon delivers a crushing riposte in the form of a classic McEldowney Creepily-Detailed Ass Shot! WHO WILL WIN!?

  111. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Snuggs (#109): The kill count was zero, though there was some suspense on the question. Gene Wilder’s Wonka was classic:

    “Well! Two nasty, naughty children gone. Three good, kind children left!”

    I still wish they’d cast Christopher Walken as Willy W. Maybe they could make a third version of the movie, just for that.

  112. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Snuggs (#109): they were the Brothers Grimm for a reason. (despite more sanitized modern retellings. . . . )

  113. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

  114. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#111): It was Roald Dahl, dude. They were killed, whether or not someone tacked on a “oh, not for real” bit at the end.

  115. Ride dem haunches
    December 3rd, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Off topic, but it must be said: If I had achieved the awesome artistic level of Corps de Ballet at the American Ballet Theatre, I would certainly NOT be buying my leotards and pointe shoes at some discount dance supply outfit. Nosirree, I’d go straight to the fancy highfalutin’ dance shop, and damn the expense.

    Just sayin’.

  116. Steve
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I think I might just hate you a little. Thanks to the great and bizarre 3-G tidbits you dole out, I’ve bookmarked a site that’s all 3-G every day just so I don’t miss a thing. So it’s your fault I can’t get the image of Lu Ann’s sister screaming her on a toy phone out of my head!

  117. Mr Frog
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo’s expression in the first panel has been the highlight of the whole arc. “You had a nightmare, Lu Ann! A horrifying, Freudian nightmare, from which you woke up screaming like a torture victim! I’m not even going to bother hiding how much that delights and amuses me!”

    GREAT IDEA: Maybe I should read all the comics consecutively, put my semifunny musings onto Notepad, and then put it all into one post instead of scattering it across three! I’m such an innovator.

  118. Dr. Weird
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Cecilia Dominic (#44):


    The Arizona Republic ran the “Klan” cartoon. Ham-fisted even for Wiley, it was. And ironic, given that today was Cain’s big withdrawal speech.

  119. Bill Peschel
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    I was just over at Darkgate, rebuilding my comics page, and found one called “Shit Happens!”

    “An alternative title for ‘Funky Winkerbean?’” I said.

    Nope. It’s a German one-panel comic strip. The one I looked at has a bare tree saying something in Kraut to a Christmas tree. Google translates it as “You’re running around like a bitch!”

    (Here’s the link to check it out:

  120. gleeb
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#77): Isn’t not having Dustin and Reply All a good thing?

  121. Yusaku777
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    I find myself fixated on what Keesterman used to BIND Lena’s brownies together. Cement is usually grey, not brown. Was he saving a bucket of crap to throw at Crankshaft?

  122. mr12ozcan
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#72): bourban babe – if i send you a casserole will that cure your sniffles with double anchovie
    mark trail – i know johnny marlette is happy trying to sneak a peek at mother mcqueen but the smile on sonny boy mcqueen and marks face tell me the top bunk was empty last night

  123. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#100): Oh Babe, ya nailed it.

  124. cartooncritic2544
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Cecilia Dominic (#44): Wiley’s Non-sequiter is the [duck who can't be named] of the left.

  125. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

  126. cartooncritic2544
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#89): It would have been so simple for the author to simply have the old lady say “start making MORE THAN the minimum payments” and, not only would the joke have still worked (better IMHO), but the advice would have been sound as well.

  127. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @mr12ozcan (#121): With a little bourbon on the side, I bet I’d be back in business in no time! (And I imagine your casserole doesn’t come with a side of meddle, either.)

  128. Rubisco
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#101): Yeah, Homestuck is what I thought of too when I read GT. For those not in the know: in Homestuck, buckets are used as a part of the trolls’ reproductive process. And you thought today’s strip was already homoerotic!

  129. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    GT: The ridiculously named Milford Mudlarks score their first victory of the season. Presumably this means that the Valley Tech coach will commit hara kiri on the goal line.

    S-M: When you’re the publisher you get to decide what the truth is… for the thirty people still reading your paper.

    9CL: Sorry Brooke, but Joe Staton gave us a better ass shot in today’s Dick Tracy, and without the five years of buildup.

    GA: Slim’s mother and fake cousin have teamed up to bilk his business out of thousands of dollars, all while crashing at his house and ruining his marriage. How will it all end? In a stupid and unsatisfying manner, you say? You must have looked ahead.

    HtH: Why is Hagar wearing a saucy off-the-shoulder number? Why why why?!?

    6C: I think that one shoe is big enough to mark this one as NSFBG.

    RMMD: “Don’t have a cow”? Good God, Bart Simpson grew up worse than anyone could have expected!

    Luann: For the time being, Ann Eiffel will have nothing more to do with Brad, Toni, or TJ. Nice to see her get a happy ending.

    MT: Cut! Johnny, why are you not putting gratuitous z’s into your dialogue? Do we have to remind you that your a comical French-Canadian stereotype?

    WofI: A more focused doctor might put the patient under anesthaesia and surgically remove the tailpipe before playing 20 questions. Then again, the patient is an ambulance chasing lawyer. What’s he gonna do, sue you?

    DtM: One of these days, Alice is going to throw a jar of maggots onto the food and say, “Chow down, pardners.”

  130. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#117): I don’t know that I’d call it “ham-fisted” so much as “baffling.”

  131. Baka Gaijin
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#96): That dish is almost as scary as a clown. And the photo caption reads, “This pretty mold…is…the one mother carried when she visited the sick.” Way to kick ‘em while they’re down, Mom.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#99): How did you get my baby picture?

    @Mr Frog (#104): Has anything in Gil Thorp resembled reality?

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

  133. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: While I know that the end result is going to be disappointing, I’m actually looking forward to Les going to Africa. Just the thought of how the natives will respond to his whiny ass.
    Les: This sucks. You’re not Mickey.
    Tour guide: You’re no John Updike. We all have our little disappointments.

  134. Austria
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    “Asperger dudes.” This strip continues to be unintentionally hilarious. He’s learning he can do a lot of things? “I have Asperger’s, and therefore I cannot actually go to teen hangouts. It’s not that I don’t WANT to, it’s that I CAN’T.” It’s like this was written by someone who’s heard of Asperger’s in some news report, but doesn’t actually know anything about it.

  135. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#133): “It’s like this was written by someone who’s heard of [x] in some news report, but doesn’t actually know anything about it.”

    that explains the “writing” in about half a dozen strips right off the top of my head!

    They Did Not Do The Research!

  136. AhClem
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s Crankshaft: After backing the bus into Keesterman’s mailbox made from Lena’s brownies, Crankshaft pours Lena’s coffee over the mailbox, completely dissolving it. He takes the remains home in the bus, forcing several mothers to chase him down in their bathrobes to get their kids. He burns the brownies in the fireplace, which promptly starts a chimney fire that is visible from the orbiting space station. Ed then makes a stupid malapropism to the fire chief outside.

    There you go. Every “joke” presented by Crankshaft in the last 25 years, condensed down to a single Sunday strip. You’re welcome.

  137. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#133): I believe on the Internet those people are known as “self-diagnosed Asperger’s sufferers.”

  138. Some Guy
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Belated congratulations to all on the float.

    ASM: Frankly, after two weeks of the Leveson Inquiry, JJJ taking credit for foiling a bank robbery fails to shock me on any level. Even the journalistic sleaze in this strip is half-assed.

    DT: I take it Christmas Early is another character all the people who’ve been following this strip since before Josh started snarking have been dying to return for decades. Probably there’s a backstory that even explains why she thinks policemen are for hire. (Not in Dick Tracy’s city, they’re not!)

    FC: Paging Dr Freud…

    MT: Kelly, all you did was stumble on an unlikely situation, make a wholey unjustified assumption that happened to pay off, and snap a few out-of-context pics of it. Peter Parker can do that.

    MW: Still no sign of anything being wrong with that woman’s arm.

    Phantom: It’s a stealth pun on “The Phantom Hitchhiker”!

    Pluggers: One of the interesting things about Pluggers, and I think Josh mentioned it a while back, is that while Andy Bear is definitely a Plugger, there’s a strong suggestion Shelia Roo isn’t. (This isn’t a male/female thing, Henrietta Beak is a Plugger, as is Andy’s mother, the go-to character for “Grandma Plugger” lines.) Judging from her expression in this strip, being married to a Plugger will soon lead to a verdict of justifiable homicide.

  139. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#137): You know not just the names of the characters in Pluggers, but their relations?


  140. Alison
    December 3rd, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    I am very tired of idiots who think Asperger’s is nothing more than an “Oh gee, I’m kinda shy, but if I work on it, I will totes become normal, and maybe even be popular!” problem. NO. I have teh Asperger’s and it doesn’t work that way, Gil Thorpe. I think there are two main problems at work here, 1. too many people in the general public who throw around the words “I have Asperger’s” when really they just aren’t particularly sociable and find parties/social dinners/clubbing/etc boring. That is not Asperger’s, but if you didn’t know much about it you might think it is. And 2. writers who are too lazy to do any research of what they speak, because God forbid they actually find out the difference between being an introvert and being an Aspie.

    And with that, I will now go back to ignoring Gil Thorpe completely, as I did until the word “Asperger’s” caught my eye, since the only thing I actually know about the strip is there’s a character called Marty Moon since that’s such a stupid-but-kinda-retro-awesome name I can’t forget it. I actually don’t even know who “Gil Thorpe” is but I’m guessing he plays basketball, or something.

  141. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#140): I actually don’t even know who “Gil Thorpe” is but I’m guessing he plays basketball, or something.
    Pff, ha, no. Gil doesn’t really do anything except be on hand when problems resolve themselves and then take credit for it.

  142. Spud Ode 3
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Just to let you know, I was a bit disappointed with the COTW, I felt it should be twice the length. And a bummer that this comment wasn’t mentioned.

    A3-G (yesterday and today): So all of a sudden, they finally bring up LuAnn’s decades-old late husband? And what happened to Margo’s hair? And why not bring up Paul’s obvious creepiness, despite all the hints?

    BG&SS: What the HECK is up with the weird expression everyone has?

    BB: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard…

    Crankshaft: Crank gets his comeuppance, I guess. For now.

    H&L: I was hoping the first panel was referring to Thirsty getting flattened by a rolling concrete culvert.

    Luann: “My name is not important. I am an unlikable and totally unrealistic creep who is the Designated Heroic Sidekick. Have a nice day!”

    MT: It’s bad enough that the bear has some creepy muzzle on, but the eyes…

    Pluggers: Would it be better or worse if the Plugger pets were little humans?

    RMMD: Too obvious. No snark here.

  143. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    “You Asperger dudes like it when we normals call you ‘you Asperger dudes’, right? All right, cool, just checking.”

  144. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#129): Good God, Bart Simpson grew up worse than anyone could have expected!
    Yes, he grew up into a real pig. Spider-pig!

    @Spud Ode 3 (#142): Thanks, pal!

  145. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Yusaku777 (#121): I find myself fixated on what Keesterman used to BIND Lena’s brownies together. I was thinking about that too. Clearly the only thing to hold together Lena’s adamantine and indestructible brownies, is the brownie batter they are made of. Just as cement blocks are made of portland cement and are held together by mortar made of portland cement. But of course everyone has read Highlights in the History of Concrete at some point in their lives.

    I figure Keesterman laid a row of brownies, cemented another row on top with batter, and used a hair dryer to cure (or cook) the batter. It probably took the entire holiday weekend to complete the project.

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#43): The original goes something like:

    Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
    Can you tell me where he’s gone?
    I thought I saw him walkin’ up over the hill,
    With Abraham, Martin and John.

    – From the 1968 song “Abraham, Martin and John”, which was written by Dick Holler and originally recorded by Dion. Holler, I believe, is a distant relative of the Hootin’ Hollers.

  147. Dale
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp and the prominent odd hand gestures:

    Is Whigham constantly giving readers the finger?

    If not, I’ve got another idea which might be more Freudian, if I knew for sure what Freudian really meant.

  148. Dr. Weird
    December 3rd, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#130):

    It was probably written a month or so back when it was Herman Cain’s time to be on the top of the polls. For Wiley, all Republicans are Klansmen (or worse), so the fact that a black man was looking like the next Republican candidate would cause conflicting feelings. For his strawman image.

  149. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Of course Les can’t go to Disneyland. That mopey smirk (or smirky mope?) in the Happiest Place on Earth ™ would be like matter and anti-matter colliding.

    That said, if Les really does not want to go to Mount Kilimanjaro, there’s no reason he must. Either sell the ticket on eBay, give it to Summer, or just ignore it (since all it cost was the price of a raffle ticket). It’s not like the prize package came with a dude in it to hold a gun to Les’ head to make sure he gets on the plane.

  150. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#144): The “pinned-over turtleneck” gag WAS exceptionally fulgent. I just hope that one of the photoshop gurus remembers it in the fullness of time.

  151. Ride dem haunches
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#147): Sometimes a finger is just a finger, no? Ah well, time for a smoke.

  152. TheDiva
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#149): It’s a dog-in-the-manger thing. Les might not enjoy the idea of hiking up Kilimanjaro (and let’s face it, not everybody is willing or able to attempt such a feat), but he’ll be damned if he lets anyone else enjoy the experience. Nobody deserves happiness in a world where the beloved Saint Lisa was allowed to perish!

  153. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#148): I think you guys are reading too much into it. A Klansman showing up in full regalia at a psychologist’s office with a “Cain for President” sign has serious issues, obviously. The joke, such as it is, would have worked the same if the sign had said “Re-elect Obama”. The joke is not that Republicans are Klansmen, or vice versa. It’s that Klansmen are racists.

  154. wossname
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#42):

    Is that what really something teenagers say in 2011?
    I’d mock this if I didn’t have the same kind of editing wreck from time to time. Well, okay. Just a little: mockity mock.

    Hey, you knew I really meant “Is what teenagers that really in 2011 say something?”

  155. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#26): In case any ‘mudges are interested, a set of 1950s Marx figures is currently being offered on eBay — including SUT TATTERSAIL:

    The set includes: Sut Tattersail (Snuffy Smith), Cookie and Daisy (Blondie) and Jiggs (Bringing Up Father).

  156. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#154): Of course you did, Sans Meow. We knew that.

  157. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#153): I’d buy that if this wasn’t Wiley we were talking about. As @cartooncritic2544 (#124) says, he’s basically the Bruce Tinsley of the left.

  158. True Fable
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#43): I love song parodies!

    @Black Drazon (#101): My son Galevav is a big Homestuck fan; I told him about this and now I feel absolutely filthy. In fact, his response is:

    “Josh, th4t 1s 4bsolut3ly f1lthy! >:D”

  159. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#157): there are few things more annoying than seeing something that you agree with being done so poorly, and Wiley does it on a regular basis.

    or, to rephrase in a more earthy manner, “I agree with you, and you STILL suck!”

    I miss the days when NS had a ferret in it, and wasn’t just an out-of-tune anvil chorus.

  160. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#157): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#159): No, I just don’t get the outrage, nor do I see why some newspapers haven’t run this particular strip.

    Whatever else Wiley is, or may have done well or poorly, whatever his place in the political spectrum, there just isn’t anything in THIS particular cartoon that is offensive to anyone but Klansmen. There are people in the Klan. There are people who support Herman Cain. IF there was anyone in the intersection of that particular Venn diagram, like the guy in the hood and sheets here, he’d need a full day’s worth of professional help, at least. Right? Haha. Funny.
    There is nothing HERE that says that all or any Republicans are racists or KKK types or anything at all like that. That’s why I say you’re reading stuff into it.

  161. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#160): You’re right in that it’s not directly stated in the text; however, like I said, given Wiley’s overall attitudes and behavior, I’d say that it’s a pretty fair read-in.

  162. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#155): It’s odd that the seller doesn’t seem to know what the figures are – he thinks they are Disney characters?

  163. Snuggs
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#111): I do recall reading that the kids survived at the end of the book, but I couldn’t remember if the movie ever addressed that. The point was made, either way; I NEVER waded into a chocolate river again after seeing that film.

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#144): “No he can’t, cuz he’s a pig.”

    @Dr. Weird (#148): @A Smirch Unheeded (#153): I’m not sure which of you guys are right. Wiley is clumsy enough a satirist that it could be Dr. Weird, but smirch’s interpretation would make more sense. From what I’ve seen of hardcore racist sites, like say the VNN forums, real life Klansmen and their ilk have a Naderesque belief that both parties suck equally. A Cain victory or near-victory would just be further confirmation.

  165. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#135): Research? Puleeze. Ya know. Deadlines and all. Nobody will notice, or care. Right?

    Well we care. It’s easy to poke fun at the so superior Mary whose “caring” for her suffering inferiors only increases her own importance. But let’s get real with afflictions that have an impact on so many and are still so misunderstood. Strips could be forums for increasing understanding without being heavy handed or misguided.

    Can’t they?

  166. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#165): the good ones can be.

  167. seismic-2
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16): Sut Tattersall is indeed missing, as both Barney Google and Snuffy Smith learned when they went to his house. Will they put up a poster alerting the populace to his disappearance? Will Mary Worth bring Miz Tattersall a casserole, out of support?

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#127):

    With a little bourbon on the side, I bet I’d be back in business in no time!

    That’s what he said.

    DT: It’s good that today we see the arrival of Christmas Early, since on Thursday we in effect saw the arrival of Thanksgiving Late. Now if Staton and Curtis could just take over a revival of Steve Canyon, then we could have a Happy Easter, too.

    Zits: There may be a more disturbing image in today’s comics than Connie’s ritual post-shower sniff inspection of her teen-aged son’s bare body, but I’ll never know, since it was at that point that I swore off reading the funnies forever.

  168. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#160): Smirch, the subtext is that Cain is so right-wing that the Klan agrees with his politics, despite his color. Similar slams have been directed at Keyes and Clarence Thomas back in the day.

  169. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#168): and that’s all that I have to say on that. . .

  170. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#167): Damn you. And I was reading Zits with my subtext-blocking goggles today, too.

  171. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#160): Smirchy never needs anybody’s support– he’s quite supported on his own. But I really do have to jump in because I agree so firmly. Don’t read too much into ‘toons. The irony is refreshing. We need that sort of humor more than the lame gags that are forced upon us all the time.

    I laughed out loud.

  172. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @cartooncritic2544 (#124): @commodorejohn (#161): @Artist formerly known as Ben (#164): Are we talking about the same guy?! I don’t follow him regularly so I just reviewed the last month’s NonSeqs… There’s one anti-onepercenter cartoon (definitely liberal), an anti-lawyer(meh), and and an anti-bible thumping politician cartoon (possibly lib). Two or three cartoons in the last month that were political and only one definitely liberal. The rest were non-political: the little girls and the horse and the guy with the boat etc etc.

    Maybe Wiley’s having an off month, but on the evidence I don’t think you can you compare him with the Duck-Who-SNBN. What’s the political/non-political ratio over there? Serious, 30 to 1? More? Maybe I’m wrong: do your own count.

    We’d better leave it at that – this is not the place…

    Now, about that Mary Worth, salmon cakes, amiright?

  173. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

  174. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 3rd, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#169): and that’s all that I have to say on that. . .
    Oh yeah? Well, I have even less to say than that!

    @wossname (#154): Your meaning was clear enough. Fortunately, mockery requires no hint of fairness or justice. Just, you know, mock mock mock, that kinda stuff. Sort of like what I’m laying myself wide open for the first time I goof up after this.

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#174): Sort of like what I’m laying myself wide open for the first time I goof up after this.

    And we’re circling you like sharks…. (maniacal laugh).

  176. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#173): *air kisses dainty hand*

  177. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#168): the subtext is that Cain is so right-wing that the Klan agrees with his politics, despite his color. I didn’t see that there, but, you know, that’s pretty funny too. Of course it’s not true – Cain, in reality doesn’t have any KKK supporters, and no one on the left really thinks he does. Many of my friends are aging dirty hippies, or gays, and they’d of told me.

    It does remind me somehow of that Chappelle show piece where he plays a person blind from birth who eventually becomes the leader of a white supremacist group. No one had bothered to tell him he was black when he was a kid – and as for his followers, well… he was such a great white supremacist leader that they just couldn’t bring themselves to tell him. Would have hurt his feelings, and then they’d have had to find another leader.

  178. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#176): Practicing your Ted Forth imitation?

  179. Liam
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    FW-Didn’t Ernest Hemingway climb Mt. Kilimanjaro? If a writer like him can climb a mountain then a better writer like Les should be able to do it.

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#178): only if Ted is kissing his own wrist. . . . .


  181. seismic-2
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#180): As opposed to Pibgorn, where we are now being treated to a running narrative of Brooke’s kissing his own ass.

  182. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#178): EXCUSE ME? twere mine own dainty digits in reference. A delicate kitty with a soft spot for canines.

  183. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#181): Gotta admire a man so tlithe, however.

  184. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Lithe. Gotta preview.

  185. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#177): Clayton Bigsby! That was a great skit. I’m hoping that one of these days Chappelle will resurface, at least to the point of doing a comedy set that lasts for more than five minutes.

  186. GrafSpee
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

  187. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#180), @Snowshoecat (#182): Ah. I mistook subject and object as one and the same. That’s what I get for not following the thread back far enough for context.

    @Liam (#179): Oh God. Oh God. He’s going to go there, isn’t he? Batiuk/Les is going to be compared to Ernest Fucking Hemingway, I just know it. Shoot me now, will you? …oh, that was a bit of an awkward thing to say…

  188. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#182): *does Pepe LePew kisses up Snowshoecat’s arm*

  189. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#186): thank you. :-D

  190. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#187): Well I can’t be blamed for rising up in umbrage at being compared to Ted Forth. I’m much more masculine. In a dainty sort of way.

  191. Snowshoecat
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

  192. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#187): Although if the comparison extends to Les putting a shotgun in his mouth, I’ll feel a little better about it.

  193. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#190): *giggle* ^ 2

  194. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 3rd, 2011 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#72):

    1) How the hell am I going to read almost 40 research-essay drafts through this haze of congestion and sneezing?

    You have my full sympathies. I’m doing the same, but without the congestion and sneezing. I’d wager that the dreck I have to wade through more than makes up for it, however.

    Just hit my first plagiarism a couple of essays ago. Insulting. She can’t write a coherent sentence, and suddenly turns in a well-crafted, deeply-researched essay on the Americanization of Canadian politics? All properly cited and referenced?

    And I’m supposed to just sit back and say, “Oh my. You’ve done a wonderful job. Great improvement!”


    What I did, of course, was ask her to write a song instead.

    Kidding. Totally kidding.

    On the other hand, it’s the first one I’ve had for quite a while. I usually manage to terrify them out of even thinking about plagiarising.

    Ah hell. Back to it.

    Good luck with yours.

  195. Consul, the Almost Human
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    Luann: I’m thinking Ann Eiffel calls the Fire Dept. and let’s them know that she was threatened by one of their staff. TD gets fired, BdG quits in sympathy, and the decline continues

  196. Snowshoecat
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#194): My sympathies. Turned from teaching to running a writing lab to editing– sort of the same thing really.

    One trick I learned was to have students turn in copies of sources for citations so that I could compare them. (one of the tasks was teaching paraphrasing, so the copies helped me to compare). Even submitting random copies tends to limit the dreaded P word.

    Good luck.

  197. Aspergers Facts
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    Asperger’s Facts c/o Gill Thorpe

    - In Italy, Aspergers is known as “the ship of the desert” because it was featured in Westerns of the time
    - Normal people can see seven colors in a rainbow. People with Aspergers can see nine, but two of them are the same
    - Batman’s origin story was at one time supposed to involve Aspergers, but this was nixed due to letter-writing campaigns from powerful orphan special interest groups
    - Can a person with Aspergers solve a sudoku quicker than you or I? The answer may surprise you
    - Aspergers was widely celebrated in the 20s for his unstoppable right hook but criticized for his weak overhand
    - People with Aspergers can command all the beasts of the air but scorn their aid

  198. Scrambo
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Funky– Is it possible that Les gonna die a slow, hallucinatory death in Africa, just like the guy in Hemingway’s horrendously depressing “Snows of Kilimanjaro”? Are the similarities in mood twixt Funky-town and pretty much everything Hemingway wrote indicative that Batiuk is suffering from depression and alcoholism?

    If this has been discussed before, I offer no apologies, just a condescending smirk that betrays my own deep scars left by untold trauma of the human spirit, resulting in intractable fatalism, smugness.

  199. dMac
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#186): “Why he’d rather marry a duck billed platypus”

  200. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#179): Creepy Les may not climb Kilimanjaro, but he’ll write about how he personally climbed. Every. Depressing. Inch. Then he’ll get a movie option and demand Gregory Peck plays his character.

  201. Here Come ole Flattop
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#179): “If a writer like him . . .” What the Hell? Are you even faintly familiar with Hemingway’s history? In any dictionary when a “man’s man” is referenced, they show his picture. Where to start? Growing up in the upper mid west with all it’s hard-core out door activity (where you to read any of his short stories, you’d understand they were autobiographic), his volunteering as an ambulance driver in WW1 (not for the faint of heart), being one of the lost generation in Paris (see Gertrude Stein), to at the end of his life in Cuba and Key West doing things that would make most wet their pants. So, to even snarkily associate someone who was always chosen last with Hemingway? WTH? This from an undergrad English major (who had been a Sgt in the 7th SFG (look it up)) and later a career Naval officer. So, you want to compare manliness with Heminway? Good luck.

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @Consul, the Almost Human (#195): Could she call the fire department and complain? Sure, if she picked up on Toni being a firefighter. But as it is the whole stupid incident seems to be behind her. Grousing would only bring Brad and his entourage back into her orbit.

    Besides which, Evans isn’t Batiuk. His moronic plotlines reward his main characters more often than punishing them.

  203. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @Here Come ole Flattop (#201): All true, but Liam’s “surely a better writer like Les” is the tell that he’s sarcastically puffing up Les. Or at least I hope so.

  204. Dr. Weird
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#153):

    I have a hard time reading the Klansman as representing just the Klan since the KKK hasn’t been politically or socially relevant for about 45 years. Their power was broken as a result of their terrorist actions relating to civil rights activism.

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#162): It’s odd that the seller doesn’t seem to know what the figures are — he thinks they are Disney characters?

    Once Disney completes its takeover of King Features, Archie Comics, DC Comics and the Comics Curmudgeon, they’ll be Disney characters. Hell, we’ll all be Disney characters!

  206. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    FW: This Africa trip will be the launching pad for Les’ next series of novels: The Specialest Snowflakes of Kilimanjaro, The Mortality Rate Also Rises, and The Old Man and the “Big C”. He will then go on a book signing tour with Becky, who will have become famous as the cover model for his magnum opus, Farewell to Arm.

  207. Roger Ln
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    H&LThirsty thinks he’s got it bad? His neighbours’ house and yard have been completely covered in snow!

  208. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#200):

    It might sound grandiose of Les to want Gregory Peck to play the part, but it’s reasonable to assume Mr. Peck isn’t getting a lot of offers these days… being dead and all.

    (According to one website, Mark Trail creator Ed Dodd based MT’s appearance on the actor!)

  209. Liam
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:52 am [Reply]

  210. Liam
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#200):

    I would hold out for Jimmy Stewart.

  211. Uncle Lumpy
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#206):

    … his magnum opus, Farewell to Arm.

    Hey, it’s only Saturday — pace yourself!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#205):

    Once Disney completes its takeover of King Features, Archie Comics, DC Comics and the Comics Curmudgeon, they’ll be Disney characters.

    And Ted Forth will be a Princess at last!

  212. Liam
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#187):

    Les already dressed like Shakespeare for Halloween. I see no limit for his ego from that point on.

  213. Consul, the Almost Human
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#202): Hmmm. You’re right … I don’t know if TD went over to WW in firefighter uniform. I thought she threatened to go to Eiffel’s management at one point so I figured Eiffel might go that route if she knew where to complain.

  214. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#206):

    Ernest Hemingway Batiuk’s other major work is The Old Man and the Bus.

  215. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    I think that the Klansman joke, such as it is, is that Cain has been selling himself as the conservative white guy’s exceptional black man (who disapproves of those uppity liberal blacks, who consist of Obama, Jesse Jackson and welfare queens, especially when they “play the race card” – which he never does, of course).

    On the one hand, he’s appealing to conservative racists because he reinforces what they think about black people. On the other, he himself is black – a conundrum.

    Now, whether this rises to the level of humorous… I’m not so sure.

  216. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#208): I think a dead actor is the perfect choice to play Creepy Les. With any luck it would develop into a textbook case of typecasting.

  217. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#196): I never take any special precautions against plagiarism. It’s easy enough to spot, and generally, like I said, I simply terrify them into avoiding even the appearance of it.

    Yours is a good ruse, though.

  218. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#167):

    A later strip (January 17, 1960) also talks about the absent Sut Tattersail, so just how long has this character been missing from BG/SS? Fred Lasswell passed away in 2001, so it’s too late to declare him a “person of interest” in Mr. Tattersail’s disappearance.

  219. ElkMeadow
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    Who is sending out these Kelly updates at RMMD? And what are the chances that Niki’s Mapquest isn’t giving directions to the “bridge washed out–detour ten miles” route?

    PV Okay, his courtly manners are apparently Western, while the polo game is Eastern, and as for the martial arts, Val should have recognized that from the Chinese scholar, Yuan Chen, who became Galan (Val’s middle son) tutor and traveling companion (both now living in Jerusalem). And speaking of sons, it’s nice that Arn is loaning Mystery Man his old clothes, even though MM is easily way taller than the Valiant clan. Must be the Aleta Magical Clothing Alterations spell. (And speaking of spells, did the twins get Chuck Cunninghammed?)

    Oom Fooyat. Yo foam too? Too of mayo? Mao toy foo? Anagrams aside, is this some sort of goat Latin? Did the Little Orphan Annie Ovaltine Detective Decoder ring loose a letter out of spite?

  220. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    MaryJuggs Parker: We got way too much money in exchange for doing nothing. We got a pair of huge tits front and center. We got undeserved success, and yes, we have no story today. Peter Parker may be shrinking away like Brad de Groot under his mommy’s gaze, but MJ is ready to go out and buy her first Road Queen land yacht.

    Creepy Les: Of course there’s no hint of how much money the raffle brought in, much less an explanation as to why anyone would support a team where the coach plans on losing. But if it gets Creepy Les out of town, no one will complain.

    Pluggers: Pluggers know that if they don’t wear the proper amulet, the rest of the pack will devour them.

    Family Circus: Bil’s right, the stupid homework jokes have got real old.

    Prince Valiant: Playing polo? That’s Flash Gordon, all right, from the first reel of the first serial. Now I’m hoping that the little guy is Tyrion Lannister.

  221. Edwin Herdman
    December 4th, 2011 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    The Bucket actually got its name because you need something large to carry a large milkshake across the yard.

  222. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — “I tawt I taw… I did! I did! I did tee a putty puss!”

  223. Comcis Fan
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    FW: This “raffle” was all a ruse to send Les to another hemisphere, wasn’t it? In fact, the whole town got together to vote against the school levy so they could pretend to shut down the sports programs — heh heh, like they’d shut down the sports programs — and be “forced” to hold a raffle. Everyone then entered Les’s name in the raffle and, voila, more sports, less Les. Sure, Summer and her sort-of-step-sister, the stars of the girls baskeball team, want to go to Africa, too; no doubt it’s a trip for only two, Les and Cayla.

  224. Comcis Fan
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    MW: I think Mary Worth and her casserole-centric Sunday strip could only have been more offensive if it had directly quoted Anne Frank rather than paraphrasing her without attribution.

  225. Comcis Fan
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#224): Not joking or snarking, either.

  226. Poteet
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    A3G — I would say that Paul looks more and more like a member of the Hitler Youth except I’m pretty sure Hitler Youth members had hairstyles that looked pretty much the same on both sides of their heads.

  227. Poteet
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    LUANN — Gaaah! Her head! It’s like THE EXORCIST!

  228. Poteet
    December 4th, 2011 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Y’know, Tanya, maybe you should have spent a little less time learning about medical symptoms and a little more time learning about liability laws.

  229. ElkMeadow
    December 4th, 2011 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    So at Mary Worth, in the last panel, are all those people walking around with their eyes closed, while the poster is sticking out at an angle from the shiny wall? And is the other woman faking her injury, that she can hold a full casserole dish with her injured arm?

    In the second panel of Rex Morgan, Spider looks like he’s been asked to go to town and buy feminine hygiene products. (Stale sit-com staple. I like how Andy at Stone Soup did it, while his uncle stammered and stuttered, he just said, “Here’s your stuff.”) Either that or Spider saw how misshapen his head was in the first panel.

  230. ElkMeadow
    December 4th, 2011 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    A3G Wait–she didn’t tell him she’d been married before? Sorry, that’s pretty much a deal breaker in any one of the advice columnists’ books. I find it interesting that it was seven years earlier that she’d been married….so was he actually extremely dead?

    Or is he mostly dead? Or somewhat dead?

    Or just missing (as Steven Canyon and Judge Parker’s wives were for about seven years, more or less, in comic strip history. Oh, and be sure to include Winnie Winkle, the Breadwinner, whose husband was missing for, what, two decades? and they all came back, they didn’t stay away, they were back on the porch on the very next day.)

  231. ElkMeadow
    December 4th, 2011 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#223):

    I call that the girls will go on the trip, before or after they win the championship and receive their scholarships to the same school, where they will be roommates. After all, it’s funnier when three women are smirking in response to Les’s comedic helplessness, and the local tribesmen think that he’s just short one wife.

  232. ElkMeadow
    December 4th, 2011 at 3:48 am [Reply]

  233. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2011 at 4:05 am [Reply]

    Here comes Sunday Snark!

    Geeze Bernice, you’re a got a lock on that “Dreamsmasher of 2011″ award. Get laid already.

    Staton and Curtis really know how to introduce a storyline. Moy and Giella, not so much, though showing that Mary Worth is really “Putty Face” would be a step in the right direction.

    Poor Lio. He’s on the permanent “Naughty” list.

  234. Michael W
    December 4th, 2011 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    I can’t tell if it’s Luann’s head or her dress that’s on backwards. Both choices (she’s possessed/wears clothing with a obscenely low neckline) seem possible.

  235. Dale
    December 4th, 2011 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#231):

    It seems like a reasonable assumption that the trip is for two. So Les will have to pick up the tab for the girls.
    So far, no-one’s said what’s actually covered. Climbing Kilimanjaro begins in Tanzania, not Ohio or even Central Park.
    Worst case – climbing means up only.

  236. Mr. O'Malley
    December 4th, 2011 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    @Here Come ole Flattop (#201): You are neglecting the fact that both Hemingway and Les Moore wrote books about having a girlfriend/wife who died. Hemingway just stuck in some other stuff about being in the Italian army during the First World War, but aside from that, they’re much the same.

    With any luck, as has already been suggested, Les could take a wrong turn at Nairobi and end up in Somalia, where he could do some research on a yarn about pirates while being held captive for an extended period of time.

    Like the story by Saki, Les’s captors will threaten to return him unless a sizeable ransom is paid annually.

  237. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2011 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    It’s quite obvious that whoever draws Judge Parker is not drawing Spiderman, sadly.

  238. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2011 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#69): When was the last time a sensible question got a sensible answer in Mark Trail?

    At one point the old battleaxe said that her dead husband had made one golden band. Trail has taken her word at its hideous face value. Why, I don’t know. If this arc made any sense, I would say that her dead husband is still alve, is a criminal hiding out from justice, continues to band the birds because he’s a religious nutcake, and his son is hyper-defensive about the valley because he is helping daddy dearest hide from the law. Quite possibly Kellywellyjellybelly is about to discover his secret sleeping bag and campfire pit in the drowned cave.

    Or not. Giant trained squirrels work the mine while elves custom-fit the bands to the winner of each year’s Mother Goose Contest. Sonny McQueen is afraid that if people find out, they’ll say he’s crazy and give his mother therapy.

  239. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 4th, 2011 at 6:03 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#194): So your first response to the plagiarized essay wasn’t “Wow, I’m the best teacher ever!”?

    I actually got through 18 drafts yesterday, so I’m halfway done. And since I’m apparently done with the whole “sleep” thing, I’m getting an early jump on the other class this morning. It helps that they’re not bad—one amazing essay (from a truly gifted student) about how hunger strikes act as a reclamation of the body from a commodifying prison system. Then a whole bunch of “good tries,” such as one linking gift-giving to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, one on the ways monogamy perpetuates class distinctions, and one on Charleston food traditions.

    And no plagiarism. Like you, I’m normally successful at scaring the urge out of them, and I have no problem catching it when they do it—one case every few years or so.

  240. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 4th, 2011 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    JP: So in this case, the answer to the classic question, “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you really looking forward to having sex with me, your hot girlfriend?” actually is “I have a gun in my pocket.”

    A3G: Yipes—if you, say, only got 3 hours of sleep last night, and you have a raging headache, do not click on today’s strip; that yellow background just dialed my headache right up to 11.

    MW: Wait—so Mary thinks that if she delivers enough casseroles, Emily Smith will be found and the kidnappers brought to justice? Well, I guess that’s about as effective as anything Spider-Man has ever done.

  241. Mr. O'Malley
    December 4th, 2011 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    PV: If this guy is based on Flash Gordon, he can never go home, since he has been unconscious in a cave for 500 years. (Unfortunately my Flash Gordon collection doesn’t include this story.)

    Apparently he’s familiar with the concept of the stirrup, which was invented after he went to sleep during the reign of Marcus Aurelius. And Thai kickboxing too.

    Spiderman: Why do I get the feeling we’ll all be mighty thor before the next story is done?

    BGSS: Based on the example cited above, things were much more entertaining when the eponymous character was present.

    Sunday Edge City is actually kind of humorous.

    FC: Bil will have to get out his slide rule for this one!

    FW: All 15 citizens of Westview are gathered at Pizza Purgatory to celebrate raising $50000 by raffling off a $5000 comic book and a $25000 African trip to 15 people who bought $10 raffle tickets. Luckily the high school has cancelled all math classes in favor of sports.

    MW: Too many people have already commented about the apparently pointless medieval sling. “Good shall triumph over evil”, and people will still purchase groceries even if a little blonde girl has gone missing. “Life goes on”, as they say.

    Phantom: What with having to remember all the way back to last Sunday, my grip on this plot is a bit hazy, but the art is certainly nice.

    Pluggers also had a German flag lapel pin in case WWII turned out the other way. But being thrifty, they held off on the Communist insignia until the situation became clearer.

    RMMD: A sexy redhead in a tank top who can state “I know passed out”. She deserves her own strip. Maybe with a few other discarded characters from this strip. A sort of “Rex Morgan Underbelly”.

    6C: I actually had a job (thankfully just part-time) where employees were required to play musical chairs at the Christmas party. Unfortunately I have not yet had the satisfaction of hearing that the management has been jailed—law enforcement is not what it was…

    SlyFo: I guess it would be his phone running Courier ID.

    Is it really December already? Seems like you can hardly digest your turkey engorgement before people want you to start putting up decorations! I think I’ll go hide in the cellar.

  242. Snowshoecat
    December 4th, 2011 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#239): Have to jump in on the P word again. And I’m sad that you have to miss sleep. I do not miss that whatsoever. And little things like seeing my family.

    But you and Frank talk about scaring the students out of plagiarism. Nice. I edited educational materials at a university for years and was horrified at the number of profs who simply lifted the writing of others believing it was 1) hard to detect or 2) they could get away with it. Laziness in either case. It is harder to detect in those have adopted a pedantic style. Or maybe they start to sound human all of a sudden.

  243. Mr. O'Malley
    December 4th, 2011 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#239): You do have

  244. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2011 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#243): I never go there. I heard it’s infested with clowns.

  245. Liam
    December 4th, 2011 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    JP-Of course I know how to handle my pistol. That’s why I’m very popular in the community.

  246. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 4th, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#242): Well, one way I manage to scare my students is by telling them that I’m only good at a few things, such as baking pies and catching plagiarism—and as evidence, I tell them that I caught a tenured faculty member who plagiarized a sabbatical application and was fired as a result. That gets the students’ attention!

    What’s funny is that the internet makes it easier to plagiarize—but it makes it easier to catch, too; I just type a distinctive phrase or two into Google, and voila!

    @Mr. O’Malley (#243): Some administrative offices have it, but we don’t have a license for the faculty at large. I actually piloted the software for the university a number of years ago, and I recommended not getting it. I think it communicates to students that we go into an assignment expecting that each of them might plagiarize—and that’s not an expectation I want to have. Plus, I thought it was clunky and time consuming to use; it flags way too much. And then there’s the whole “intellectual property” issue of the company profiting from students’ unpaid work. So I’m pretty content with my Google method; since I try to give distinctive essay assignments—the kind that can’t be fulfilled with purchased papers or something from a fraternity file—it works fine.

  247. Snowshoecat
    December 4th, 2011 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#246): Seems like we have a number of English types here. Good. I was always amazed at the amount of energy students put into beating the system rather than simply doing what they were assigned. This from someone who never looked at a Cliff’s Note.

    Some of our cartoonists are like students in that they grind out material with the least amount of energy possible. The good ones (who escape our snarking) are the scholars. Then we have the ones who take shortcuts thinking they can get by with that. You know who you are.

  248. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 4th, 2011 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#247): What’s funny is that most of the cartoonists kind of just plagiarize themselves—such as endlessly visiting the Valley of Lost Clip Art.

  249. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#241): That was Tony “Buck” Rogers who hibernated in an abandoned mine, thanks to a combination of radioactive gas and a cave-in. If we’re lucky it’s the same abandoned mine that Kellywelly found. If she can lure Trail into it, we won’t have to worry about them until AD 2419.

  250. Snowshoecat
    December 4th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

  251. Snowshoecat
    December 4th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#248): Oh and let us not forget the color Sherpas. That’s just laaazee.

  252. greghousesgf
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Aspergers Facts (#197): the one about the rainbow is partially correct. we can see two other colors. they’re teal and chartreuse.

  253. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 4th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#Y242):

    It is harder to detect in those have adopted a pedantic style. Or maybe they start to sound human all of a sudden.

    You’re right about it being harder to detect. In my case, however, there’s really little problem. The students are barely literate, and pedantry is beyond them. What amazes me is that other profs say they find it difficult to detect plagiarism and go to such great lengths to guard against it. If you can’t detect plagiarism at this level, you have no right teaching.

    But what do I know? They all have masters degrees. I only have 36 years in the writing industry.

  254. Edwin Herdman
    December 5th, 2011 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled

    The first paper sounds like a rant from your description, albeit a well-written one. Sounds like the Maslow tie-in paper could use some more style, but the first paper sounds like it could use a firm grounding in theory. Maybe those two students could learn something from each other.

  255. Edwin Herdman
    December 5th, 2011 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    Speaking of rants: On the topic of plagiarism, I attended a lecture by Dr. Miguel Roig earlier this year – check his page at St. Johns’ University for an abbreviated biography. He has an excellent questionnaire handout on plagiarism which he uses to demonstrate that at some level you can go overboard with plagiarism – what some people will consider plagiarism, seeing the whole context, might not be for somebody else, and both answers are reasonable. This is pretty rarefied territory compared to the usual undergrad idea theft, though. Two fun true stories: One, he modified his lecture slides to get rid of any uncited web cartoons (sound serious yet?); two, he doesn’t really look like Telly Savalas.

    For my part – I’m always horrified if I’m not expected to give at least page citations for anything but an in-class essay (also known as a glorified survey), and if somebody asks me to “prove” something from only the reading materials, Google Books often comes to the rescue for the 19th century sources.

    I’m a bit surprised that any professors would have trouble detecting plagiarism with the simple ability to copy and paste into Google if your community college won’t pay for Turn It In or something similar. Even the rare professor who is patently not academically rigorous in presenting both sides of a debate (potentially, possibly, somewhat bigoted) has warned students off with that advice. The same prof did say that double entry (same paper, multiple courses) was fine, though, and that they had done it as well (I’m not sure if multiple entry of a paper is forbidden in all academic contexts outside applications, but I assume it should be and for good reason).

  256. Cal
    December 5th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, Derek appears to be flashing a gang sign…

Comments are closed for this post.