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I’m even going to let ‘Prez’ pass

Apartment 3-G, 2/23/12

Since Nina has agreed to be her husband’s smoke-filled incubator and nothing more, he’s left with the responsibilities of tricking out the future kid’s nursery, and as someone with external genitalia is obviously totally unfit for the task. Look at the little lost lamb, wandering around Manhattan with a giant stuffed bear, mewling for help! If you didn’t know anything about these characters, you might imagine that this is the start of some sort of sexy sex affair between Scott and Margo, but since this is Margo we’re talking about she’ll probably just end up berating him again like she did in 2006:

Haha, how much do I love that panel? A lot, is how much!

Archie, 2/23/12

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that hockey goalies wear masks that make it difficult to tell who they are, despite the existence of other cues such as height and build, but I think we’re all missing the important point here, which is that Coach Kleats thinks that saying “Now I really want you to block that goal” imparts useful information about goaltending. I mean, I know what with the budget cuts he’s got a lot on his plate, but sure he could do a little online research and come up with some slightly higher-level jargon?

Mary Worth, 2/23/12

Oh, man, can we count all the amazing things in today’s Mary Worth? Let’s start with the classic word-sequences-that-would-never-be-uttered-by-humans “middle-management sales” and “I still can’t believe the events that led to Nola’s promotion!” Then there’s our male gossip’s hilariously exaggerated gestures and facial expressions; he appears to be auditioning for a nonexistent vaudeville revival circuit, in his mind. And of course there’s also his female counterpart’s bright blue hair, framing her sad, worn-down face. Probably she dyed her hair blue six years ago when she got this corporate job, as a last act of defiance to reaffirm her identity as someone vaguely cool; and yet here she is, having kept that color more out of habit than anything else, carping pettily about the new vice president of sales, without a hint of irony. These people deserve Nola, is what I’m saying.

Spider-Man, 2/23/12

Man, I wish I could get people to start referring to my naps as “the fabled Josh-sleep.” None would dare wake me then!

293 responses to “I’m even going to let ‘Prez’ pass”

  1. Hibbleton
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    That’s one ill-bodin’ Odin.

  2. Lolsworth
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    I was hoping this post would be a Joe Simon tribute. You have disappointed me, Fruhlinger.

  3. Sad, really
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    A3G: But that Scott Haines is a baby panel is the sexiest thing I know…

  4. Mongrel
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    In Archie, it’s even worse. There’s apparently no money for Coach Kleats to even afford a whistle, so he’s resorted to painting one on his shirt. Note the care he took not to have the whistle’s strap cover his name. Wouldn’t want Dilton or the other Riverdalians to forget who he is!

  5. KreatureFeatures
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: I pray that the Exposition Twins follow Nola around for the rest of this storyline, whispering asides to each other from the shadows: “There goes Nola! Into the john to eliminate feces!” “I can’t believe the size of the bran muffin and coffee that led to this bowel movement!” or “There goes the office slut! Into the bed of yet another married man who happens to be your husband!” “I can’t believe that he would fornicate that woman as we hide behind my drapes!”

  6. Cletus Forrester de Rothschild
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Just another day coaching the Riverdale Mementos

  7. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Crank: Meta fail.

    MW: “Omigod! I’m getting an attack of the Winkerbean Smirks! I can feel it with my hand! HEEELLLLLLP!!!”

    Archie: Of course, this strip originally ran before there was an internet like we know it today, I’ll bet.

    A3G: Notice the older panel shown here keeps up the “baby” theme. Foreshadowing? No, not really.

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: So, for the nursery, I was thinking of a large Scarface poster and stacking up a bunch of empty liquor bottles in the windows so everyone else on campus can knows how much me and the baby love to party. Does that sound close to correct?

  9. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#5): Worst. Greek. Chorus. Ever.

  10. Pozzo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    “None dare wake him – not even to get him to brush that huge Asgardian spider off his chest!”

  11. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    “He has entered the fabled Odin-Sleep! None dare wake him!”

    “So even if this was Sif, your idiot plan still would have failed?”

    “Your plan was better? Sit around and wait for thunder? Like that’s going to happen.”

    “My idiot plan worked.”

    “Oh yeah.”

  12. pugfuggly
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    A3G “I’m a MAN! I don’t go shopping for baby stuff, I do manly stuff, like wrestle bears! RrrrrrRrrrrrRrrrrr…..”

    Also: I’m glad that Margo has gotten over that case of intestinal worms she had in 2006.

    Archie Poor coach. He knows baseball and football inside out, but he just seems lost during the hockey unit. “BLOCK THE GOAL!…..HIT THE…er…BLACK THING!….SKATE FASTER, DAMN IT!….ugh, is it half-time yet?”

    MW “The events that lead to Nola’s promotion” is going to be my new euphemism for sex. During the act I will, of course, refer to myself as the ‘new vice president of sales’. Roooowr…..

    ASM So Loki’s going to steal heaven and earth, but don’t wake Odin, because he’d be grumpy…?

  13. Evan
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Barnwell and Ruben’s? Please. I do all my nursery shopping at the Haughty Baby.

    Also have to wonder if mousy bluehair’s knockoff coif was an attempt to emulate Nola’s success – having completely failed to comprehend that it wasn’t a dye job that was propelling her forward at all.

  14. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Man: There go two people who work in this building on this floor!
    Woman: I still can not believe the series of events that led to Nola’s promotion!

    Man: If the former VP did not leave…
    Woman: Nola would have continued in her previous position!

    Nola: Heh heh.

  15. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    A3G: Scott is pressuring his wife to have a baby, but then he acts like he can’t buy a crib without a consultant?

    Scott, stop being grAnthony the Foob. Next, he’ll be whining “Margo, wait for meeeee!”

  16. Chyron HR
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    SM – “!” thinks Peter. “Why didn’t I come up with that? Spidey-Sleep has a great ring to it!”

  17. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    S-M: If there’s any one superhero who can deal with a nap-related crisis, it’s Spider-Man!

  18. mojo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MW: All Nola’s victims thus far have been hearsay, idle dinner bragging and gossip. I say, pffft. You don’t watch predator documentaries so you can see them “savoring”; you want to see them ATTACK! Someone get Nola a REAL victim, STAT!

  19. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    MT: GAH! SQUIRIMING POSSUMY HORROR!

  20. K-Paul
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12):
    Let me try it out. Ahem. “Say, I saw that new movie ‘Safe House’ last weekend. Can’t understand why it was rated R, there was little profanity and no events that would have led to Nola’s promotion”

    Hmm, seems a little awkward.

  21. Jimbo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    MT Certainly a documentary about school-bus-sized possums is worth driving a thousand miles to film, no??

  22. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#7): That smirk is practically an übersmirk, or perhaps an ursmirk? Ultismirk? With a touch of leering inuendo — so maybe we should call it a “lirk” or a “smeer.” It even looks like the guy gave himself a Chelsea smile just to get some extra upturned-lip sneer into it. In any case, it makes makes Batty’s smirks look positively bush-league in comparison.

  23. LP2004
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Jimbo (#21): One would think so. Given the look on Mama Possum’s face, however, I’d say they have about fifteen seconds to make that documentary before they’re eaten.

  24. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT: So Filmstrip Von Inandout came 1000 miles. Just how long has Mark been staying at Tommy’s house, eating pancakes and listening to the Jacket Tales? And just how long has Butch been missing without anyone looking for him?

    MT: And that evil possum appears to be savoring its “well-earned” promotion. Heh, heh.

    HtH: We see so many wacky, anachronistic shopkeepers in this strip that I’m wondering why we’ve yet to see Ye Olde Chest-Waxing Salonne.

    A3G: “Don’t let this sissy teddy bear fool you, Margo! I’m a man, and my wife has the bloated abdomen to prove it!”

  25. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MW-You can tell Nola is evil because she was not content with her middle management position and wanted to move up. She should know that in Mary Worth’s world you are to remain in your position and be content with it.

  26. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Today’s overly complex (especially for me!) Pop Culture’s Kids comic is now up!

    I may be in over my head with this one! …Come to think of it, so’s Bobby Mibbit!

  27. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#17): Don’t expect Spidey to deal with the Odin situation right away. He’s got a plan, but he has doubts and wants to sleep on it.

  28. AlanofOdenton
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Bill Hader’s not going to have much of a post-SNL career if he continues taking these dead-end roles.

  29. Squeak
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    “If it weren’t for Dan Smithers being fired for stealing…”

    “…my gold fillings. Ow, my jaw is still sore!”

  30. TheDiva
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is Barnwell and Evans an actual place, and if so how much do you think they paid for that blatant product placement. (On another note, I had no idea Margo used to be played by a kabuki actor. Learn something new every day.)

    MW: The guy on the left vacationed in Westview, and his face has been stuck in a lopsided smirk ever since.

    SM: “The fabled Odin-sleep”? That’s awkward even by the standards of awkward pseudo-archaic dialogue.

    9CL: Wasn’t there a scruffy guy who got Queer-Eyed so he could court a spiky-haired nymphette in all this somewhere?

    FW: Constantly pulling narrow wins out of your ass is not a sign of a good team. Take it from someone who follows the Denver Broncos.

    GT: “I was referring to your outfit–why are you dressed like a valet?”

    Luann: OH JUST HIT HIM!

    Pluggers paint everything a shade of vomit-brown.

  31. Dennis Jimenez
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    A3G – OK – I don’t follow the strip, but I’m guessing this all stems from some miscommunications – about Scot providing at teddy for Margo….

    Archie – I’m Jason – Jason Voorhees….

    MW – Wow – it’s been a long time between gigs for Baron Sardonicus….

    S-M – Asgard – ASGARD – Odin asks Goldilocks not to leave ASGARD – Well, what happens if Prag leaves ASGARD, Odin – ‘cuz, I mean – ASGARD – OK, I gotta juvinile (delinguent) sense of humor….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  32. mrs. pepper
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    MW: I see Rob Lowe in panel 2. After his Lifetime movie success, he’s moving on to soap strips!

  33. cheech wizard
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    SM – And after he awakes, he will go to take the fabled Odin-dump, so you can’t bother him then, either. At least, not until he’s finished reading the paper.

  34. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#31):

    Spidey would feel much more at home if he hadn’t flown with Thor the whole way, but had been dropped off at Half-Asguard.

  35. Pyzimber
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12): “These kids today, all they think about are the events that led to Nola’s promotion”… Yeah, it works for me!

  36. Pyzimber
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#5): +1 for the “Exposition Twins” – maybe they have super-powers like the Wonder Twins: “Shape of – a backstory! Form of – subtle characterization!”

  37. Crankenstank
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    The line “I’m Dilton” is obviously some sort of bug in the ALGU-3000′s “pun” subroutine, that failed to tag certain words in its massive search database as not being in English. You see, “Archie” in Nuahatl means “He-who-is-so-dumb-like-a-dead-tree-limb-and-is-only-good-to-plug-the-holes-of-caves” and “Dilton” in Quechepeechoo means “substitute-for-he-who-is-so-dumb-he-is-used-to-plug-the-latrine-hole-after-it-is-full”. Trust the ALGU, it’s hilarious if you’re trilingual.

  38. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @AlanofOdenton (#28): Yeah. Plus, shouldn’t he be wearing big, thick glasses and constantly hitting that woman in the face with a big microphone in this scene?

  39. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: Why did the revolving old movie dreams have to get hung up on Tarzan? Why not Casablanca or North by Northwest? Also, Tarzan’s Jane is a proper English lady, she doesn’t speak in jungle pidgin!

  40. Carly
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Spidey’s ! in the last panel seems to say, “Shit, am I going to have to do something about this? I don’t even regularly do anything about ordinary supervillains, this guy’s a god – mind you, I only know that because he was on a TV show a few times. Maybe if I dawdle long enough the Avengers will make their promotion cameo and handle it.”

  41. Comcis Fan
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Even though Westview wins, and even though we don’t see him at all today, somehow panel three is all about Les and loss.

  42. Ed Dravecky
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    I thought color-coded ascots were enough to tell the bland, featureless men of A3G apart but having each man carry a stuffed version of his spirit animal is a huge step forward.

  43. Calico
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MW – I’m totally digging that Charlie Sheen and Deborah Coons Garcia are making guest appearances in panel 2.

    And Oh God that bear is still in Scott’s arms that creepy bear … and Dennis has one too!

  44. seismic-2
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MW Whose the Hell arm is it that’s sticking up in the front of the first panel??? It can’t belong to “Prez”, since the coat sleeve is the wrong color, and it’s physically impossible for that arm to be attached to that elbow. This arm with the plaintive upturned hand must therefore belong to the ill-fated Smithers, who has been tossed to the curb and thence under the bus, and who now lies a broken man on the pavement as his persecutors trod blithely over him. Poor Smithers – he thought this Mary Worth gig would lead to comic stardom, but instead he is forced to endure Carol Burnett’s and Harvey Korman’s mugging and reciting stilted dialog in the background, as Lyle Waggoner steps on his stomach and guest star Ann Miller tap dances on his face.

  45. Marc
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- Nola channeling her inner Mr. Burns after the firing of: “Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.”

    Luann- Goddam it, this stalling is going far too long. If he doesn’t beat the crap out of him soon I’m going to find away to cross the meta-physical barriers that would prevent that and kick his ass myself.

    Funky- I’m just patiently waiting for the next blown ACL. Perhaps this year it will be a torn achilles, or a concussion, or maybe a full blown case of turf toe.

    Mark Trail- A thousand miles usually takes a day to drive, yet somehow movie le femme over here made the drive in a couple of hours? I don’t know if Elrod is that senile or if he’s just that insulting to his readers.

    9CL- I want to go on a nerd bashing spree. First stop is Gunther, then I’ll make my way over and crack Amos in the skull, and then if there’s time I’ll stop off in Riverdale and teach that dweeb attempting to play goalie a thing or two.

    BGSS- Come on now Google, you know these rubes have never seen a map and have no idea where Chicago is.

  46. Ed Dravecky
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    So good to see the late Jerry Orbach back as Detective Lennie Briscoe in Mary Worth, working undercover at ConglomCo to crack the theft ring that led to Dan Smithers downfall.

  47. pink floyd
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G…. “I am a man and I would not want the sales clerk to take advantage of this fact when I am buying stuff for a nursery…. who knows, maybe
    I would just give into my feelings and let my emotions run away with me and buy the whole story …. (reminds me of the line in As good as it gets”: “How do you write women so well? Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.” So 1950s….

  48. the___ninth
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    I’m confused by the Archie one. Why doesn’t the coach already know who the goalie is? Did he just get the job or something? Never looked at the roster? OH MY GOD. Is he suffering from some sort of Alzheimer’s and this is just the first signs of it?!

  49. pink floyd
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    store… not story…. (pays to read before postingg)!

  50. Davey
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Well, according to today’s strip, Barney Google is supposed to be from Chicago, which kinda blows my previous “less pronounced Southern accent” theory out of the water. I can therefore only assume that Barney knows his Yankee speech patterns would be incomprehensible to the locals of Hootin’ Holler, and has adopted a Holler-esque accent out of courtesy.

  51. Pyzimber
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MW: The introduction of the gossipping co-workers makes this arc feel a lot like Downton Abbey. Only without the good drama or the meddling old lady. Oh, waitaminute…

    A3G: Even teddy bears don’t get their lower bodies drawn in this strip.

    MT: If Steve the director is going to go tromping off in the woods, he’s going to need to change into his hiking scarf. Good thing he always packs 20 spares…

    BB: I can’t believe this actually made me laugh. OK, snicker maybe, not a full chortle or guffaw.

  52. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#41):

    Wait until Centerville points out the loophole – the rules call for the referees to compare the points scored by each team, and that the team with Les is the loser.

  53. Calico
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#24):
    Possum alert! I love Possums, esp. since we don’t have them this far North.
    We do have ginourmous squirrels, raccoons, and fox, however. Oh, and pretty mellow skunks too (I prefer the French word “Mouffette” as it sounds so nice compared to “skunk”).

  54. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#45):

    RE: MT

    Maybe he flew into LOFO Airport, then rented a white panel van to drive out to the Dog Training facility?

    LOFO has a special on rentals, this week only! Upgrade to a van equipped with an 8-Track player and Tom Petty tape for free!

  55. Calico
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Cletus Forrester de Rothschild (#6):
    Hell, at least it’s not Westview/Cancerville/Bad pizza land.

  56. Nekrotzar
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    So Coach Keats is leading his team to victory with pearls of wisdom on the level of ‘go out and score more points than the other team’ — I think that means that he has insider knowledge of an impending opening over at Gil Thorpe, and wants to get the inside track.

  57. Jessy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MW: Dan Smithers was fired for stealing . . . oooooh. Methinks Nola steals more than just husbands! Heh heh!

  58. Dennis Jimenez
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Jessy (#57): So then he went to work for Monty Burns?

  59. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    S-M — So Loki told Thor that MJ was Sif, and Thor believed him. Sheesh, I have only a passing grade-school acquaintance with the Norse gods and even I know that you never EVER trust Loki. Thor must be as dumb as a box of…never mind.

  60. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MW — So the original advice that Nola was going to ask for, before she saw the green glop and decided to merely toy with Mary, was how to more effectively frame people for crimes they didn’t commit.

  61. LP2004
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#59): I mentioned a few threads back that Anna Russell’s description of Siegried from her classic take-down of Wagner’s ‘Ring’ cycle fits Thor perfectly – “He’s very young, and he’s very handsome, and he’s very strong, and he’s very brave, and he’s very stupid…”

  62. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Archie: That’s not Dilton! That’s Jason Voorhees! Dilton is cut to pieces in the locker room!

  63. LP2004
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#61): Siegfried. Note to self: Preview is your friend.

  64. Yahtzee
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I am unsurprised to hear that Spiderman is highly interested in never-ending naps. “Hey, this sounds like something I could actually do!”

  65. Santa Royale With Cheese
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s probably best not to think about the Event. DON’T THINK ABOUT THE EVENT! (remain indoors… remain indoors)

  66. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: The dog you want to film is missing!

    Cecil B. DeMoron: Can’t you get another of your hunting dogs to track him?

    Tommy: What do you mean “another”?

    Cecil B. DeMoron: Ok, since you’re a hunter and Mark is a nature freak, maybe you can track him yourselves.

    Mark: I have no idea where he is.

    Cecil: There are two pairs of boot tracks that don’t match either of your shoes.

    Tommy: What are we going to do? The dog is missing!

    Cecil: The tracks point that way….

    Mark: Tommy, let’s show city-slicker Cecil how us rugged outdoorsmen handle things.

    Tommy: Right!

    Mark: Do you like pecans in your pancakes, Cecil?

  67. Santa Royale With Cheese
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Archie: Yes, that seems like bad coaching, but have ya heard pro coaches talk to players during those ESPN “wired” segments? For this, they get paid: “Okay, dribble the basketball… and keep dribbling until you either shoot or pass it.” Shouldn’t NBA players know this since, like, FOREVER? Or my favorite, the nuggets of wisdom: “Okay, play all 60 minutes, keep your eye on the ball, hustle, don’t make any mental errors, and go give me 110%. ‘Team’ on three.”

  68. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith is turning all “continuity strip” on us. Next, they’ll age in real time and live in the 21st centuty. The adults turn to dust, and the kids of Jughaid’s generation find themselves ugly, gnarled drunks in a desolated town with no future.

    Actually, if you only change the artwork, it already operates that way.

  69. Lisa
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    FW: How did that same girl get on three different basketball teams? What if BlueValley and Middleview play? Why would all three keep her if she always loses?

  70. Lisa
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Maybe Mark Trail’s director friend could cover the story of the horrifying eight foot tall possum roaming the forest with her brood, instead.

  71. Windier E. Megatons
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    To be fair to Coach Kleats, memory appears to be a significant problem in Riverdale, given that the coach is forced to wear a shirt with his name and title emblazoned across the front just so people will know who they’re addressing. Frankly, the completely interchangeable male characters in strips like Apartment 3-G and Mark Trail could learn a lot from this sort of tactic.

  72. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    The Events that led to Nola’s promotion:

    200 meter administrative hurdles

    Office Chair Solo Bobsled

    Coffee Chug / Donut Eating Contest

    5:00 Exit Sprint

    Office Supply Free-For-All

    Ballpoint vs Sabre Deathmatch (in which participants must prove that the pen is mightier than the sword)

    Horizontal Desk Ballet (best position wins!)

  73. But What Do I Know?
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Hmm, Rex says to himself, there’s that word again. The humans keep using it–love. What does it mean? I hear it in the hospital, in my office–the yellow-haired one uses it when she speaks of her offspring, the boy Niki, too, and now the old one utters it. Maybe June-El can tell me more of it. Uh, oh, they see my puzzled look–must respond in some way. . .

    MW — Dan Smithers? Isn’t he the uncle of that young bootlick, Waylan Smithers?

    GT — I’m no artist myself, but if Lini is sick, shouldn’t he look at least a little different than he usually does?

    ASM — “Loki will seek to rule this realm–Earth as well.” Or maybe he just wants the cool-looking sleep pod. . .

  74. NoahSnark
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    I can easily imagine Nola selling pasty, frightened, people in their forties to discerning dominatrices who plan on exhibiting their skills in front of audiences of rowdy office workers.

    Oh – there’s a different definition of middle-management sales?

  75. Esther Blodgett
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    MW: And now, let’s all rub our jaws and enjoy the seldom-performed “The Events That Led to Nola’s Promotion” number from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.

    MT: Aaaaah! Locher rats! My greatest nightmare!

    GT: Once you mentally add “doo dah, doo dah” to the end of “Cortez Beecher leads a romp,” you can’t un-think it. See? I told you.

  76. Keaaukane
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    I met her at a party at Charterstone
    Where the salmon squares taste like _______
    No-la. N-O-L-A. Nooola

    Come on, I can’t be the only thinking of the Kinks song. I just need some help to make it work. Lend a hand

  77. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#59):
    Loki: I told Thor that some Earth chick was really Sif, and he believed me!

    Odin: That’s nothing. I told him that I was going to my Fabled Odin Sleep for a century or two and don’t bother waking me!

    Both: Ha ha ha ha hahahaha!

  78. The Wacky Curmudgeon
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    APT3G – Really , Scott grow some , that old panel applies now too..

    Luann – Someone drag that scumbag Leslie off to the principals office or kick his ass

    MW – besides the bad illustration today – a woman with blue hair and a man with a distorted mouth, middle mgmt sales? whered they get that . youre either on the bottom or the top – there is no middle and im betting Nola probably set the fired guy up to get his job , the bitch

    Moose and Molly – the only married couple I know that while supposedly broke(probably on welfare ) unless gramma is hauling in S/S and a pension because the lard bucket of a wife doesnt work and the husband cant hold a job yet they regularly order out pizza, go to a diner , drive a car, course he does mooch off his neighbor/use his phone/trespass which in any other reality would land his fat ass in jail , she has a brother who also cant hold a job yet asks women to marry him . talk about a strip that really delves more into fantasy b/s than any other

    MT – does anyone even read this strip . how does it stay going when it is such antiquated crap from the 50′s 60′s.

    Drabble, Pickles, Rose is Rose, The Born Loser- these strips all have one thing in common and this week is no exception. The wives are all major bitches ,either insulting their husbands, on PMS or some other attitude that is always blamed on the husband. the wives families are usually rude too especially the born losers mother in law who is a major bitch

  79. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp should follow up his statement in panel 2 with “… And then, the Galaxy shall be MINE!”

    I predict Uni has hep C from dirty tatoo needles.

  80. Ride dem haunches
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Davey (#50): Beat me to it. Most people tend to start to mimic the accents and speech patterns of the people around them. I used to travel a lot in my line of work, and I found myself doing it all the time. Also, Barney evidently traveled from Chicago to Hootin’ Holler on horseback, so he would have had plenty of time to pick up or reacquire the regional patois.

    The other theory is that John Rose is a tin eared dolt, and can no longer write or even recognize standard English.

  81. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#75):

    GT: Once you mentally add “doo dah, doo dah” to the end of “Cortez Beecher leads a romp,” you can’t un-think it. See? I told you.

    Damn you, Esther Blodgett! Damn you!

  82. Esther Blodgett
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#81): Week, veal, waitress. *bows*

  83. SequelMan
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: What’s up with Andy Capp… goin’ all AA on us lately… that’s gonna blow a large part of his comical repertoise, isn’t it?

  84. Spunde
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: I hope Dan Smithers is in the Far East training to be a supervillain so he can obtain vengeance. With an alter-ego like “Doctor Shadow,” he could keep his monogrammed shirts.

  85. Ed Dravecky
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Uh oh, looks like Milford’s case of Lini-sanity is about to turn into bowtie-phoid fever.

  86. Ride dem haunches
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#67): …Have ya heard pro coaches talk to players during those ESPN “wired” segments? For this, they get paid: “Okay, dribble the basketball… and keep dribbling until you either shoot or pass it.” Shouldn’t NBA players know this since, like, FOREVER?

    I don’t follow sports myself, but you make an interesting point. I had supposed most of the players in professional sports leagues were provided by central casting, or were even hired off the street. Nevertheless, surely some of them must have played the games a little in college or even high school? These experienced players might even get paid a bit more than the others, don’t you think?

  87. UncleJeff
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Archie: the last time a hockey goalie wore a mask like that, Ken Dryden was between the pipes for the Canadiens and the AJGLU3000 was looking up to his big brother the Commodore VIC.

    re Keaaukane @76: I met her at a party at Charterstone
    Where the salmon squares taste like they’ve been dipped in Ebola
    No-la. N-O-L-A. Nooola

  88. commodorejohn
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – Sorry, Agnes, the carp as cartoon mascot was taken by Richard Guindon decades ago. [*]

    A3G – Of course, it’s all going to end in bloodshed when Scott asks Margo to be his replacement breeder since Nina’s not working out.

    C&B – I love this strip.

    Crankshaft – “It’s getting so you can’t even believe what you read in the comics anymore. ‘Dja know Lisa Moore never actually had a cancer recurrence? True fact! She got sick of her twit husband and moved to Des Moines.”

    DT – So our villain du jour is a more sinister (i.e. at all sinister) version of Cory Winkerbean?

    Dilbert – This exact conversation must have happened during the development of the iPad, only with “laptop” swapped out for “tablet.”

    HOTC – *swelling of hope*

    Luann – I hate you, Greg Evans.

    Mandrake – Courageous heroes and villains alike wade through the terrifying murk that is Yahoo! Groups to find the secret of the Lost Chord!

    MT – The possum is a tragically ugly sumbitch, but here it is a wonderfully rendered tragically ugly sumbitch.

    MW – I love it when little sparks of Giella’s latent talent show through. SantaRoyMart, Charlie Smith…this is just a little taste, but I still love it. Mug on, Weird Guy!

    NAOQV – Ohhh dear.

    OBH – I love this strip.

    Phantom – Hey, who could’ve predicted this? Oh, that’s right, everyone.

    Ripley’s – Goat tower! Goat tower! I’m not even True Fable and that’s completely awesome.

    SF – Faye is awesome, even when she’s not actually present.

  89. Ride dem haunches
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Windier E. Megatons (#71): …The coach is forced to wear a shirt with his name and title emblazoned across the front… Frankly, the completely interchangeable male characters in strips like Apartment 3-G and Mark Trail could learn a lot from this sort of tactic.

    And Judge Parker too. Today, for instance, the judge is the one wearing the tie, right?

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Dilton is dressed up for the machete death rampage he has planned for tomorrow’s homeroom period, and which we all knew was on its way.

    MW: Will somebody please tell Mr. Infodump that his Bogart impression will never be better than C-level?

    S-M: So Thor’s entire dilemma boils down to Odin not wanting to be wakened from his nap. The ruler of the Norse gods has really managed to sink down to the strip’s level.

    9CL: At this point I have no idea what’s going on, besides me not caring.

    GT: “You look terrible, Lini.”
    “Oh no, I’m wearing the wrong cufflinks, aren’t I? What’s wrong with me?!?”

    FC: For the first and perhaps the last time, Dolly thinks deeply.

    JP: You know that you’re telegraphing your plot twists when even Sam Driver sees them coming.

    Classic Peanuts: Funny, I would have guessed Lucy would be older, lonelier and drunker when she started French-kissing dogs.

    Popeye: Pere Bignose seems to have the average amount of self-awareness for the Popeye ‘verse.

    Marvin: Pizza delivery is turning out to be nothing like those skinflicks Gramps always watches.

    OBH: Clever, very clever.

    SSmith: Wait a minute, does offering food to someone who just said he was hungry really qualify you as a medium? Yeah, in Hootin’ Holler it probably does.

    BB: This is all you need to know about the Camp Swampy crew. A random truck driver is able to out-tactic them by accident.

  91. Walker of Dog
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#44): Hilarious 70s variety show callback FTW! (Costuming by Bob Mackie)

  92. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-I had a dream last night where I was a bow tie wearing homosexual in a town whose tolerance for tattoos is so low that it could quickly turn against homosexuals or bow tie wearers.

    MW-I can’t believe that jaw of yours. Are you trying to put it back in place?

    MT-There he is kids. That is the man who hit your father with his car.

  93. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#82): I’ll tell my friends.

  94. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#77): Both: Ha ha ha ha hahahaha!

    I think you meant to say: Both: Heh Heh!

  95. Anonymous
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Thor and Odin? I’ve always had a problem with mixing up religious pantheons with superheroes. What’s next, Jesusman and Buddha Boy?

  96. commodorejohn
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#44): Oh man, I damn near spewed coffee on my laptop. COTW!

  97. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#76): Sure, I’ll help. Rhymes with Nola, huh? And clearly you don’t want cola. Ok:

    Hispaniola
    Gorgonzola
    mola (type of fish)
    scagliola (imitation marble)
    hemiola (musical term)
    payola
    Angola (nation in Africa, or Louisiana state prison)

    You’re welcome.

  98. Chip Whittle
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Lini does look terrible. That’s the worst tattoo of a bow tie and pleated dress shirt I’ve ever seen. On the bright side, he can get service in stores even while naked, because they never know. Wait, is naked Gil Thorp better or worse than Gil Thorp?

    Hi and Lois: Wait, who tells dirty jokes to Hi? How does he recognize that they’re jokes? Does he just suppose anything he doesn’t say is a joke?

    Heart of the City: A big whew, but also, a lingering aw. Poor doggie. But this is what they get for taking the animals to Lisa Moore’s vet.

  99. Walker of Dog
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Mongrel (#4): Good catch. Maybe the whistle is drawn on the coach’s shirt as a guide, like tool outlines on a pegboard. “Whistle… goes…where? Oh, I see! A match!”

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#75): @Frank Lee Meidere (#81): All the doo-dah day, my friends, all the doo-dah day.

  101. teenchy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Sports nerd observation warnings ahead:

    Archie: Not only does Coach Cleats not understand the game, he doesn’t understand the equipment. Goalie Dilton is missing a blocker glove on one of his hands. He could be ambidextrous like 1940s goalie Bill Durnan, however.

    FW: Basketball scoreboards typically display visiting team above home team. In high school basketball, visiting teams typically wear the colored (or darker) uniforms while home teams wear white (or lighter) uniforms. Westview appears to be the visitor in each game yet wears white in each. Can Batiuk not draw two sets of uniforms for Westview? GT has the same problem as Milford teams never alternate between light or dark uniforms.

  102. Walker of Dog
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @The Wacky Curmudgeon (#78): Maybe Margo’s ass-chewing was so powerful that Scott was instantly infantilized and has carried that teddy bear ever since.

  103. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#72): And also the Dry Erase Board Pole-Vault. This one is finalists only.

  104. Stroker Ace
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Archie ~ Coach Kleats also thinks ‘his boys’ all look alike from behind when bent over. See Coach portray himself in ” The Last Picture Show”.

  105. Little Guy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Archie: That’s Coach Kleats’ lone bad credit score.

    ASM: *blares Rebecca Black’s “Friday”* HELLOOOOOOO!!! ODIN!!!! WAKEY WAKEY!!! TIME TO RISE AND SHINE! UP AND AT ‘EM!!!!!

    Classic Peanuts: Later, they find out Lucy enhanced her fusbudgetry through HGH.

  106. UncleJeff
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, MM (money magnet): Just wait ’til the old lady finds out how much money Foster gave Rex. I wonder who will tell her? Probably Rex.

    Love Is…the joy of watching the Ferrari salesman as you scoot your bare ass all over that fine leather upholstery.

    PBS: Oh Bob, for your disbelief in the croc god you’re going to heck for sure.

  107. Esther Blodgett
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ride dem haunches (#89): There’s a judge? I thought that was a verb in the title, like “Get Fuzzy” or “F*** Funky Winkerbean.”

  108. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    JP-April received her training from doing bondage work at the bordello.

  109. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#103):

    And don’t forget the spectator favorite: The Copier Straddle.

  110. Bill the Butcher
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Nola in today’s strip look like someone stuck a female wig on an obvious, if slightly svelte, male?

  111. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#60):

    MW — So the original advice that Nola was going to ask for, before she saw the green glop and decided to merely toy with Mary, was how to more effectively frame people for crimes they didn’t commit.

    Mary isn’t absolutely the best person to go to for that advice, but Slylock Fox wasn’t available.

  112. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Because Tommie Thompson was late to her recording session, Dan Diller threw a hissy-fit, flew into a rage then into another dimension (and comic strip) only to succumb to a killer case of jet-lag and mistaken Odin-identity.

    I call “Shenanigans” on Pluggers again. Plugger men males don’t know colors other than what’s in the 16-pack of Crayolas they got for graduation from eighth grade. Ain’t no “puce” in there.

  113. Calico
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    I met her at a party at Charterstone
    Where she was looking for a new guy to bone
    No-la. N-O-L-A. Nooola

  114. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Dennis, you won’t be menacing until you stop bogarting Billy Keane’s lines.

    Don’t worry Jimbo, Rose isn’t the only one peeing their pants laughing at your “private delusion.” [*]

    The Dinette Set is indescribably puke-inducing today.

  115. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Made it all the way to #31 before my Archie comment was taken.

    Beetle – Tomorrow: “Oh, no, it is raining!” “Now we are wet!!”

    Brewster – Friend of mine works for the foundry that made the Liberty Bell. They still have the paperwork on it. From time to time, somebody in the US alleges that the casting was faulty, and they repeat their offer: ship it back to us, and we’ll recast it at no charge.

    Close – I try not to nitpick everything in this trip, but I must question the choice of putting the reversed “ECNALUBMA” sign on the back of the pickup. Are they reversing down the road? Is that why the one riding shotgun is looking back?

  116. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#75):
    @Frank Lee Meidere (#81):
    Cortez Beecher leads a romp, doo dah, doo dah!
    Esther Blodgett we must stomp, oh doo dah day!

    But what is the prosody here, so we can apply this lesson to make our lives better and brighter?
    “Camptown Races” seems to be based on a loose two footed line based on a dactyl, that is one accented syllable followed by two unaccented syllables. TUM ta ta / TUM ta ta

    We could use it on Tennyson’s Charge of the Light Brigade then:

    Cannons to the right of them, doo dah, doo dah
    Cannons to the left of them, oh doo dah day.

    See? Try to use this power only for good, never for evil!

  117. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Smirky – This is like two whole weeks worth of Gil Thorp!

    Mark – “Oh, no! This is terrible! We were planning on supplementing the two-hour documentary on the blind dog with a twenty-minute filler about the coat!”

    Mary – “The events we’re discussing are so extraordinary, I don’t know whether to smile pleasantly or grimace horribly. See? See? Hey, c’mon, look at me!”

  118. pugfuggly
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @K-Paul (#20): @Pyzimber (#35):

    I was thinking more along the lines of a pick-up line, as in “Hey babe, this party is a little boring. Why don’t we go back to my place and I’ll show you the events that led up to Nola’s promotion? Maybe I’ll make you the new vice president of sales, eeeehhh…?”

  119. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Do you dare interrupt Odin when he is in the bathroom taking anOdin dump?

    Archie-I know that you are Dilton but from now on I am calling you Archie.

  120. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#22): I think you’re giving this particular bit of facial distortion far too much credit. In my opinion, any facial expression that requires that a hand be kept to the mouth in order to maintain it is unworthy of being named. (This guy will never make it as one of Batman’s super-foes.)

    @Keaaukane (#76): “And the food tastes just like Shinola.” (By the way, you aren’t the only one. Read back a bit. Also, you wouldn’t have been the only one to think of “Whatever Nola Wants, Nola Gets” either.)

    @Ride dem haunches (#80): The other theory is that John Rose is a tin eared dolt, and can no longer write or even recognize standard English.
    John Rose is just the mole-eyed illustrator. You mean “Margaret Shulock.” (Didn’t you ever wonder why everybody in 3G-land sticks their tongue out when they laugh?)

    @Ride dem haunches (#89): Today, for instance, the judge is the one wearing the tie, right?
    I hadn’t really wondered. Will that matter some day, do you think?

  121. Dennis Jimenez
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#76): Hey, I’ll play – how ’bout “granola”

  122. This Guy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    FW: Oh, you did not just have your precious little Specialist Snowflake beat my hometown, Batiuk. Especially not by the biggest margin.

    H&J: He writes the personal ads in the newspaper… and he’s lost his mind since his job became utterly obsolete.

    SF: Faye lent Hilary a copy of SimCity? Nice to know she appreciates the classics.

  123. This Guy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#122): Damn, now I’m misspelling “Specialest.” Ah, well. Batiuk doesn’t deserve proper spelling in any case.

  124. Joshua
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Today’s joke is malformed. Mr. Beasley the mailman says, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this courageous courier from the swift completion of his appointed rounds! Obviously, we didn’t have a strong union back then.”

    But his first sentence doesn’t refer to any past time. The motto he’s alluding to dates back to Herodotus, so it would make sense if it did refer to a past time. He should have phrased it something like, “Since the Persian Empire, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night has stayed us couriers from the swift completion of our appointed rounds! Obviously, we didn’t have a strong union back then.”

    Also, that weather is impossibly bad for Clearwater, Florida, where this strip takes place nowadays.

  125. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#27): I’m kinda hoping the plan is to sleep on it — to, perhaps, enter Odin’s dreams or something like that (or, at least, that’s what Peter will say his plan is as he lies back in a massive Asgardean La-Z-Boy to catch the latest episode of Judge Forseti on the jötunn-screen TV).

  126. Nekrotzar
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#95): What’s next, Jesusman and Buddha Boy?

    You mean like this?

  127. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#120): See, I think his hand is there to contain the smirk. If he simply unleashed the thing, it would rip the earth wide open and Santa Royale would plunge into the sea — and as much as he, and we, would love to see such a thing, his instinct for self-preservation outweighs the most smirk-worthy ridiculousness of being trapped in a Mary Worth story.

  128. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Say! That well wasn’t completely dry yet. Two more from the Toon River Anthology:

    BARNABAS “BARNEY” GOOGLE

    Why am I summoned
    To return to the world
    To be among men?
    Years ago, I wanted to be
    The center of attention,
    The phrase maker,
    The hero of song and joke.
    When I was slowly pushed aside
    By a one-note bit player,
    I was angry and resentful.
    Tried to reassert myself,
    Tried to push back in
    To no avail. As time passed
    I realized what a blessing it was
    Not to stand center stage,
    Not to carry everything on my shoulders,
    Not to play the clown.
    But I am summoned,
    So for this brief time, I return
    Smile at punch lines,
    Google my eyes,
    And wait for the time
    I can depart again,
    A thing without aspect,
    Without time,
    Just like the world outside.

    LOWEEZY SMITH

    Oh, I were bodacious.
    Tiny waist, nice apples,
    Blond hair that fell lak
    Water ripplin’ down a hill
    All the way t’ my li’l cut-offs,
    Then it were laigs, all th’ way down.
    Snuffy caught me ‘hind th’ hen coop
    An’ we trysted, an’ Paw caught us both.
    We said our I Dos in front o’ his sawed-off,
    An’ I started a-swellin’ up right away,
    Not ‘cuz I had a bun in th’ oven, mind,
    It’s jest what wimmen hereabouts do
    When we’re married, er fifteen,
    Whichever comes first.

  129. K^2
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: A plugger never has leftover paint….he just has a fresh source of paint fumes to huff.

  130. A New Day
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    I so want the job of high school coach in a comic strip: “Now I really want you to block that goal!” “Next time, aim the basketball at the hoop.” “Don’t bury the football, throw it!”

  131. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#123): No, no! I’m digging the idea of an Army enlisted guy named “Snowflake”. On the “Boy Named Sue” theory, I’m betting he’s the toughest dude in the Army.

    // Especially if his first name was Sue. Definitely special forces candidate.

  132. Jasper
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    MW- Dan Smithers was fired for stealing? Stealing what? What does a VP of sales need to steal? Pencils? Condiments out of the break room fridge? How bout have him fired for insider trading, or rigging bids or kickbacks, but common petty stealing?
    Unless of course Smithers is really the alter-ego of Slylock Fox’s Smitty, who can all but help committing pointless petty crimes like stealing flowers out of the Prez’s secretary’s vase.

  133. Esther Blodgett
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#116): Like this?

    Purple haze all in my brain, doo dah, doo dah,
    Lately things don’t seem the same, all the doo dah day.

  134. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper (#132): Stealing what? How about Nola’s cherry? Eh, no, she ain’t seen that in decades.

  135. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    True Fable has been pitching stories to Hollywood again.

    for Poteet, hoverfrog goes vertical.

    Two big reasons to love dogs. (PG-13)

    Gotham by Gaslight cosplay.

    best VW van EVAR!

    for Poteet’s we are not amused file.

    corgsqui.

  136. Bud
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    You can tell Nola and the Prez are completely ruthless since they are literally stepping on someone asking for a handout. Harsh!

  137. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#128): Very good, sir!

    // … if only you could have worked “doo dah, doo dah” into it.

  138. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88): I miss Guindon. He was a great part of the Freep as I was growing up.

  139. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#114): re DS: same as every other day?

  140. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#133): That’s the stuff to give the troops!

  141. Marc
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Lisa (#69): And almost as importantly, why does every team in this tournament have the same exact uniforms and colors?

  142. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#116):

    See? Try to use this power only for good, never for evil!

    Yeah. Not seeing how that’s possible. But it’s still fun.

    Once upon a midnight dreary, do dah, do dah,
    As I pondered weak and weary, all the do dah day.

  143. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    MT: “If you can just stay for a while…maybe you can come with us to look for him! It’ll be fun! We can have pancakes!”

  144. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

  145. Kinghasnoclothes
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey– Ernie Bushmiller wouldn’t have even laughed at this. It’s a placebo cartoon: it must be funny because it’s in a comic strip on the funnies page. But there is no joke there.

  146. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#115): Beetle – Tomorrow: “Oh, no, it is raining!” “Now we are wet!!”

    Righto. The humor of BB is approaching that of Uncle Funny Bunny. Convergence should take place around the next winter solstice.

  147. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#139): Today’s implied outdoor anal sex on the lawn with one of those misshapen humanesque things was different.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#142): If they had Edgar Allen Poe by Frank Lee Meidere© in my high school English textbook, I’d have enjoyed the class, do dah, do dah.

  148. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    “Give me your gasoline and just walk away, Coach Kleets. Just walk away, and there will be an end to the horror. “

  149. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#142): On a slightly related note, did you know that every Emily Dickinson poem can be sung to the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”?

    Because I could not stop for Death,
    He kindly stopped for me;
    The carriage held but just ourselves
    And Immortality.

    Makes it a lot cheerier, I think.

  150. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    “There’s nothing I can do, Spider-Man. I might as well go enter my fabled Gunnar Nelson-sleep.”

  151. Horace Broon
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    ‘Shaft: Yeah, directly above this one (on thestar.com) it says “Crankshaft amuses comics fans”.

    GT: Okay, so without resolving the storyline about the tattoos, we’re moving on to Lini being sick? I can only assume that this is the same story, which must mean Lini is sick because he refuses to get a tattoo.

    H&L: Being trapped in the H&L strip is clearly no place to hear jokes.

  152. Horace Broon
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#149):

    According to xkcd, it can also be sung to the theme to Gilligan’s Island. Since I’m a Brit, I have no idea how the theme to Gilligan’s Island goes, but I’ll take Randall’s word for it.

  153. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#142):
    Whose woods these are I think I know, doo dah, doo dah,
    His house is in the village though, oh doo dah day.

  154. Jonn
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Dilton Doiley is a diminutive Brunette. Archie is an average-height Ginger. I’m not sure if this says more about Keats’ eyesight or his mental capacity.

  155. Chip Whittle
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#115):

    Close – I try not to nitpick everything in this trip, but I must question the choice of putting the reversed “ECNALUBMA” sign on the back of the pickup. Are they reversing down the road? Is that why the one riding shotgun is looking back?

    You just missed part of the detail: it’s “ECNALBMA” on the back there.

  156. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    So Thor can’t disobey Odin because the latter is fast asleep and can’t be awakened? In high school he was probably all like, “I can’t throw a party, you guys! My parents aren’t even in town!”

  157. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12): Men who wrestle bears frequently don’t have to worry about having babies. I’m sorry it’s not as clever as a Dingo-branded BearQuip™.

    @Effluvius Erratus (#17): I heard “nap-related crisis” will be added to DSM-5 [*]

    @Jimbo (#21): Been there, done that: Catbus.

  158. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#152): Why yes, that does work! Refulgent!

    My dear Broon, let me advise you: Do not succumb to temptation. That way madness lies.

  159. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#135): awwww, dat’s what my little turtle looked like. Never amused.

  160. Walker of Dog
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    GT: First Mary Worth‘s Nola, now Lini?! This headlice infestation is running rampant.

    MT: “In fact, here comes our transportation now. And what luck! It’s an express megapossum.”

    Plug: Pluggers cover up their sins and keep on truckin’. Only an elitist would clean the bathroom walls after a bout of explosive diarrhea.

    RMMD: Rex: “Love is… icky.”

    S-M: Peter is alarmed by Loki’s plan: “Not Earth! That’s where couches come from!”

    MW: That disgruntled drone with the detachable jaw (Terrance or Phillip) needs to have his pants let out a bit in the crotch. In a place of business, we shouldn’t be able to identify which mohel did his circumcision.

  161. kkarenb
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#44): MW would only improve if Nola arrived wearing a dress with a drapery rod across the shoulders.

    Pluggers – Aren’t dogs color blind? Wouldn’t every color look pretty much the same?

    Rose is Rose – Oh, thank goodness. Rose’s bad mood is over. We’re back to the imbecilic grin and the Lucky Charms.

  162. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#155): It’s convenient because they can just swap out the boards in the pickup truck bed when they they are doing funerals. “Billy Bob’s Funeral Home – Air Conditioned – CB Radio”

  163. pugfuggly
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#157): re: ‘bears’

    I thought you might be directing me to this clip. Same ballpark, anyhow!

  164. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    MT: Leaving aside the issue of how Director Inandout managed to drive one thousand miles since Mark’s telephone call earlier this morning, I’d just like to point out the importance of this datum: we now know that Lost Forest is approximately one thousand miles from Hollywood (“approximately” because we don’t know how far Lost Forest is from Dogtrainerhell Forest, but it seems to be fairly close since the inhabitants of both look pretty much alike and demonstrate comparable sorts of stupidity). So by drawning a line across a map of the US one thousand miles miles from Hollywood, we should be able to greatly narrow down the geographic candidates for locale of Lost Forest, which will make it easier to know where to send the warheads when we decide we can’t stand any more.

    (No, of course the director is not lying or exaggerating. He’s a big time movie director and they just Don’t Do Things Like That.)

  165. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Gunther: “Oh, and one thing more, beat me all you want, but just please don’t throw me in that briar patch!!”

  166. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    In my local paper (the Minneapolis TRIBUNE), the BUCKLES and CUL DE SAC strips are printed side by side. Today both strips involve characters complaining about other characters who have become too old and/or too sophisticated to “have fun” any more.

    But who would have guessed BUCKLES would be the one who went for “too sophisticated”?

  167. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#45): I love that quote. Looove it! CRAPULENCE!

    @Poteet (#60): Great insight.

    @hogenmogen (#72): My vote: Horizontal Desk Ballet.

    @Spunde (#84): Like being banished to Japan only to reappear back home as a Weenie World branch manager?

    @Stroker Ace (#104): See, that’s why the US Navy has a name tape above the seat pocket of their trousers. sees if that lures Aerosquid out of hiding…

    @pugfuggly (#163): Damn! I can’t get YouTube here.

  168. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex is either suddenly very constipated or he’s giving Mabel a really good stink-eye…

  169. Yusaku777
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    I think this is a case where Pete only uses “!” because there’s no room for “Holy shit, you mean someone gets to nap all they want here? Sign me up!”

  170. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    “Odin has entered the fabled Odin-Sleep, on the fabled Posturepedic Mattress, which verily this week only is on sale at Crazy Olaf’s Mattress Outlet Emporium, at fabled prices verily fit for a God!!!!”

    (Time to stop this sketch; it is getting Sealy.)

  171. The Ghost of Jarrod
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#149):

    These are all in the common meter. Other songs in the common meter: the aforementioned “Gilligan’s Island,” and — best of all — “Amazing Grace.” Everyone, to the tune of Gilligan’s Island….

    Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
    That saved a wretch like me
    I once was lost but now am found
    Was blind but now I seeeeee…..

    FW – Gil Thorp would’ve done it better. Yes, it would have been two years of Escheresque drawings of games, but at least in the end there’d be no smirking. Or cancer.

    …Maybe smirking causes cancer! Someone should get on this.

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Evan (#13):

    Also have to wonder if mousy bluehair’s knockoff coif was an attempt to emulate Nola’s success – having completely failed to comprehend that it wasn’t a dye job that was propelling her forward at all.

    Nice one.

  173. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#45): @Baka Gaijin (#167):

    I don’t think crapulence means what you guys think it means.

    “1. sickness caused by excess in drinking or eating 2. gross intemperance, esp. in drinking”

  174. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    In HEART OF THE CITY, we find that Spock, sensing that his end is near, decides he will not go into eternity living a lie.

    “I’m not really a cat. I’m actually a dog. A really big dog. I’m so ashamed. Back when I was trying to break into comics, it was all cats, cats, cats. Nobody wanted new dog characters. For the few dog jobs that were open, you had to be in tight with the Dogfather, Don Snoopy. After months in the industry the best I’d been able to do was some stunt double work for Marmaduke, and the pay for that wasn’t enough to keep a big dog like me in kibble. So when I read in the trades that a cat character was being added to HotC, I decided this was my last chance. I bought a Tiny Cute Cat ™ costume and squeezed myself into it and went to the auditions and got the job. It’s been a good gig but some of the other characters were suspicious when they saw me sneaking into the Pooch Cafe bar after the day’s shoot was done, and they started a whispering campaign. The stress of leading a double life and denying who I really am led to start abusing catnip — oh sure, it was just a quick sniff now and then at first but eventually it became a pound a day habit, and then I got onto the dog hard stuff: chocolate.

    Just another Hollywood Hound Horror story, another Tinseltown Towser Tale. I’m going now, but I’m finally at peace with myself. Tell the kids I died game.

    Woof. Woof. Wooo….oo….o………

  175. Gwinns
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    I enjoy that Team Mary Worth had to hyphenate the name “Smithers” to carry it over to the next line, because it’s totally unbelievable that someone could be named Dan Smith.

  176. Pop Goes the Weasel
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @mrs. pepper (#32): with Hope Davis as “Blue-Haired Co-Worker”.

  177. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Popeye:
    I think the Bulbosas are Phlegmish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Mark Trail: We can only hope they are gonna cruise the woods atop the Opossum Express.

    Mary Worth: Nola gets a promotion and that is what she wears? I would expect something a bit more professional from her. And, by professional, I mean trashy. ( i keed. i keed. I did expect something that didn’t make it seem like she was dressing in drag, like she’s being shown)

    Apt.3G: That dude probably has his own nursery which he used while in exile from Nina’s warm embrace. So, there is an oversized crib and a giant mobile that Ms. Tedwina Bear and he share.

    Barney Google: given his silver tongue, it is obvious that when this city slicker says: “Me Dium”, while looking at Loweezy’s bossom, he’s signaling in Hillbilly Latin that he’s gonna Seize the Boobies.

    Let’s just hope that Barney G. isn’t going to be portrayed as a 21st C. Mr. Natural. I don’t think the funnies can deal with that development.

  178. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#161): Pluggers – Aren’t dogs color blind? Wouldn’t every color look pretty much the same?

    Not really. Dogs see colors, but not as many as we do. They are bad with reds, good with blues. It’s not like everything’s a black & white tv show to them. I wouldn’t hire one to decorate, though.

  179. Labdad
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    You just wait! Mark my words, by the time Mary’s done with her Nola’s going to end up just like Jill: sitting on the curb in purple fuck-me boots swigging cheap wine!

  180. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#177): Hillbilly Latin? In hoc moonshine vinces?

  181. Walker of Dog
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#76): Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
    Why she walked like a woman but screwed over the other job applicants for the Sales VP position like a man
    Oh my Nola No-no-no-no Nola

    FW: Aha! The devious plot of supervillain Tom Batiuk is revealed! To crack his code, input those final scores into a mapping website. The result (42N 39′ 55″ latitude, 40E 38′ 47″ longitude) marks a spot in the Black Sea, off the coast of the breakaway Georgian region of Abkhazia. This is the rendezvous point where his henchmen will take delivery of some nasty isotope from a rogue Soviet scientist.

    It’s all part of his scheme to contaminate the Westview water supply with a deadly radioactive substance. Because why should Chernobyl get all the attention.

  182. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @The Wacky Curmudgeon (#78): MT – does anyone even read this strip . how does it stay going when it is such antiquated crap from the 50?s 60?s.

    I think its audience is retirees. An occasional glance at the strip reminds them of summer vacations at Camp Runamuck and holiday trips to the Andirondacks. They’re the same Pluggers who buy Pine-Sol for its pine-woods scent. “Smells just like that vacation where we drove through the forest!”

  183. Effluvius Erratus
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#157): @Baka Gaijin (#157):

    I heard “nap-related crisis” will be added to DSM-5 [*]

    I believe they’re calling it Parkersighs Disease.

  184. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#173): Ignorance can be bliss, you know. CRAPULENCE!!!

    @Effluvius Erratus (#183): Excelsior!

  185. kkarenb
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#178): Thank you for clearing that up. That was actually a very interesting artlcle. (I shouldn’t get my scientific information from the comics and tv. Or my knowledge of classical music from Warner Brothers cartoons.)

  186. SF_Reader
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Scott is obviously making fun of Margo – “I’m a man, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ Miss Margo”.
    Meanwhile Margo ,dresssed in the pinkish coat with the orangish scarf and the same hairstyle that her mother wore in 1968, is clearly someone you would not ask decorating advice from.

  187. Ride dem haunches
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#181): Very clever, sir. Nancy Drew herself would be proud. But, those coordinates could refer that location, or seven other locations, depending on whether it was north or south latitude, or east or west longitude, or whether latitude was given first or not!

    Of all eight possible locations, only one is on dry land. That would be 40 36 47 E latitude, and 42 39 55 North, which would be near a town called Selim in Kars Province in Eastern Turkey. Not to rule out the Abkhasian connection, but you can’t be too careful.

  188. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#185): No, you’re ok on the classical music, that really is your best source. I was interested myself in the CB thing, as I just got a new puppy for Xmas. He can never seem to find his red frisbee when I toss it into deep grass. I’m getting a blue one for him now.

  189. Santa Royale With Cheese
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#182): Seconded. For a laugh (through bitter tears) read the survey results when newspapers ask which strips should stay or go. Apparently Abe Simpson needs his Mark Trail fix… or else.

  190. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth-Ted’s eyes light up with the mention of killing a city’s population.

    Curtis-You don’t want to know where the cream came from.

  191. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#184): @A Smirch Unheeded (#173): Ignorance can be bliss, you know. CRAPULENCE!!!

    It’s attitudes like that which lead me to crapulence (def. 2), which is why I wake up so often with crapulence (def. 1).

  192. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G-While I am making a negative stereotype let me reiterate by saying that I am a straight man. A gay man would know how to decorate.

  193. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    I’m starting to think that the Riverdale faculty just like yelling at Archie for the hell of it.

  194. Uncle Lumpy
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth — The office gossips have it backwards: Nola is the new Sales President of Vice, the Prez a satisfied customer, and Mary her next hot prospect.

  195. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Odin is Odinsleeping off a hangover.

  196. But What Do I Know?
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#128): This kind of erudition deserves a hearty “Atta Boy”!!!

  197. Cafangdra
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    “Fabled”? Wow. And I was cynical enough to believe “Odin-sleep” was just something they came up with to persuade Anthony Hopkins to be in the movie. “C’mon, Sir Tony! You’ll be asleep through half the damned thing!”

  198. Spotts1701
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#141): This is actually a real thing: High School athletic associations have started enforcing rules that mandate a very limited color palette and design for uniforms (claiming that officials can easily track team/number combinations, but a few folks claim nefarious motives to limit numbers of jersey manufacturers), and there’s really only a couple of standard templates for uniform design anymore. Plus a lot of them say one team must wear white, and the other must wear color.

    Sorry, being pedantic – do carry on…

  199. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#180):

    It would be kind of funny if there is some masonic order in Hootin Holler and that BG is more than some prodigal son.

    He’s the kingfish, the top dog, the grand poobah. I anxiously await the reveal with a jigger of moonshine at the ready.

  200. Waz
    February 23rd, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Archie: I like how Coach Kleats has his “whistle” printed on his sweat shirt.

  201. Shrug
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

  202. Zerowolf
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    HotC: After this episode I’d be finding Spock a vet that can tell the difference between a cat and a dog.

  203. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#191): I have only this to say to you, sir: CRAPULENCE!

  204. True Fable
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#61):
    “I mentioned a few threads back that Anna Russell’s description of Siegried from her classic take-down of Wagner’s ‘Ring’ cycle fits Thor perfectly – “He’s very young, and he’s very handsome, and he’s very strong, and he’s very brave, and he’s very stupid…””

    And despite his stupidity he STILL looks like a genius compared to Spidey.

  205. True Fable
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#135):

    GOAT! Oh HELL yes!

    But that is the strangest looking gosling I’ve ever seen. Can’t even see its beak.

  206. ArchieNemesis
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#51):

    change into his hiking scarf

    Done.

  207. True Fable
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Friends, Romans, Countrymen, doo dah, doo dah
    I’ve come to bury Caesar not to…

    oh fuck you, Shakespeare.

  208. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#206): What a mod outfit. Boss, even.

  209. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#103):
    How about these events:

    Desk Jockey Challenge

    Screen Staring / Pencil Pushing / Paper Shuffling Triathalon

    Ultimate Clock Watching

    No-Holds-Barred Extreme Number Crunching

    Sales Demo Smackdown

    ***And don’t forget… Second prize is always a set of steak knives

  210. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#209): Oh, I’m sure Nola has the brass balls needed to sell real estate. Just don’t ask where she got them.

  211. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#209): Buh, buh, but none of those have a schoolboy-tittering obvious double-entendre.

  212. Marc
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#173): Come on now, crapulence is a perfectly cromulent word.

  213. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    Freude, schöner Götterfunken
    Doo dah, doodah
    Tochter aus Elysium,
    Ach, doo dah day!

    @Shrug (#201): Thanks! There’s more at the link. Annie Warbucks and Julius Dithers came out the best.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#210): Oh, I’m sure Nola has the brass balls needed to sell real estate. Just don’t ask where she got them.
    Possibly from a brief fling she had with one Captain Queeg.

  214. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: What did Dan Smith steal, anyway? This being the pabulum world of Mary Worth, I’m thinking Nola planted a case of sticky notes and a box of paper clips in Dan’s car trunk.

    Heh heh.

  215. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#211): I couldn’t get a good double entendre, so I went with the WWF-ish sounding “extreme”, “ultimate”, “no-holds-barred” and “smackdown”. It’s not sexy, but violence would hold the interest of your average Beevis & Butthead.

  216. Miss Othmar
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#128): Coming out of lurkerdom to say (one more time) how amazing this community is. Very few websites have such a well-read, clever, and funny group of regulars. The fact that newcomers are welcomed, and discourse is civil (mostly) makes it a joy to read. I have been reading the doo-dahs out loud to my 15-year-old, who thinks I am insane. But I know that the Mudgeons understand….

  217. Marc
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#198): It’s almost like how so many schools have the same nicknames. Seems like nobody had any creativity when picking mascots. I mean how many Raiders, Warriors, Bulldogs, Eagles, and Tigers can you have? But at least teams can differentiate colors a little. I just think it’s laziness on Batiuk’s part that every team in that tournament is the exact same black and white template. Using a red or blue may just kill him apparently.

  218. hogenmogen
    February 23rd, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#211): But since you mention it,

    Backroom Skirt Lifting

    Lunch Hour Speed Tryst

    Raising Eyebrows

    Pushing Luck

    Corporate Figure Analysis Derby

    Securing Company Assets

  219. Austria
    February 23rd, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Ewww…hillbilly flirting.

    BB: ………so where’s the joke?

    Curtis: His hand is blue

    FW: They appear to be facing off against the same girl in all three panels. She may be one with a grudge – transferring to the next school Westview faces off every week, trying desperately, desperately to get back at them, but to no avail. I would make an obligatory Specialest Snowflake comment, but she’s only in one panel this time. Kudos.

    H&L: Non-jokes in both strips…wow, this is a really bad day for Walker-Browne Enterprises.

    Luann: LES! HIS NAME IS LES! LUANN IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE FUNKYTOWN WHERE LES MOORE IS A DELINQUENT INSTEAD OF A NERD!
    …Alternatively, we could just call Les Moore “Leslie” from now on.

    MT: Possum. In the daytime. With babies. And a grudge. You gentlemen best get inside.

    MW: “…stealing her virginity!” ……Nah, never mind, this is Nola we’re talking about.
    Also, that guy’s face is pretty magnificent.

    Zits: Only a fool would turn down Apples to Apples.

  220. nightfly
    February 23rd, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    MW – hey, they changed guys from panel to panel! The first one has a part on his right, the second stole J Jonah Jameson’s flattop and dyed it full-on gray. First one, no watch – second one, watch. And the woman got a haircut in the ten seconds between frames.

    Maybe the first guy is Moy and the second is Gillette? They’ve decided to break the fourth wall and become literal characters who give exposition, as opposed to just creating it.

  221. Spotts1701
    February 23rd, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#217): My favorite was how a new high school in Utah changed it’s mascot from the “Cougars” (which was the public choice) to the “Chargers”. The two reasons they gave were:

    1) The current slang use of “cougar” to refer to older women chasing younger men didn’t sit well with the district honchos.
    2) BYU is also the Cougars, and we wouldn’t want to infringe on their use.

    I agree that Batiuk could have used a splash of color or two in his depiction, but in the grand scheme of things it’s a minor nit.

  222. greghousesgf
    February 23rd, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#62): nah, Dilton’s okay, Jason only kills people who have sex.
    Veronica should watch her back, though.

  223. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#199): It would be kind of funny if there is some masonic order in Hootin Holler and that BG is more than some prodigal son. He’s the kingfish, the top dog, the grand poobah.

    How odd you should bring that up. The title was “Exalted Angora”. According to Wiki, BG was a member of a

    mysterious hooded fraternity “The Order of the Brotherhood of Billy Goats”, a parody of mystic secret societies. (There was also a “Sisterhood of Nanny Goats” for the ladies.) Their password was “O-K-M-N-X” which, undeciphered, stood for a standard breakfast order (“Okay, ham and eggs”). Barney was elected “Exalted Angora” in 1928.

    I’m going to have to go and edit that – “undeciphered” is ridiculous. Be back in a minute.

  224. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#y89):

    I’ve been thinking the same thing since we started the scene in her office yesterday, where her head was pasted around where her collarbone should be. (And I mean literally pasted — I don’t think Giella fools with that newfangled Photo Slop nonsense.) Because when in MW have we ever had a female executive before that he could paste onto?

    And I was thinking that she was doing her best George W. Bush impression!

  225. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

  226. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#213): Esther Blodgett has much to answer for. Still, it does make Beethoven’s Ninth seem so much less elitist, don’t it? I mean, for the kids!

  227. DaveyK
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Based on today’s Archie, one of the following things is true:
    1. The AJGLU does not have the ability to perform a Google Image Search to determine what modern goaltending equipment looks like.
    2. The AJGLU understands its audience demographics and knows they prefer hockey equipment from the old days when a puck to the face meant massive head trauma and so chose not to draw one of them newfangled sissy masks that protect the wearer (but make it possible to see their face).

  228. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#201): le mot juste

  229. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#203): Looks like your well into #2 already. Here’s mud in your eye!

  230. Spotts1701
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @DaveyK (#227): I don’t know if we want the AJGLU hooked to the Internet. Isn’t that how Skynet got started? And given how well it does with jokes, the AJGLU engaging in a “destroy all humans” gambit cannot end well.

  231. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    On “Mary Worth”, I’m beginning to wonder where this is going. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care, I just wonder about this.

    It seems that with Nola Mary met her match, right? She’s flabbergasted by Nola. She’s dumbfounded, flummoxed; tied up in knots; she can’t sleep at night; her hair’s gone white; her eyes have bags under them and boxes over them; there’s mystery afoot and it involves a missing conscience. What will Mary do?

    Well, given this twist with Nola suddenly calling the shots on prolonging the storyline and Mary just being beside herself and consternated beyond belief, it seems like this office situation is foreshadowing.

    Nola, using some form of her formidable wiles, seems to have gotten her supervisor fired and now has the person’s job. Nola is going to become Mary Worth; she’s taking over the strip. The real Mary fears this. She realizes that dinner with Nola was setting up table turning.
    Nola’s in charge of this strip now.

    I’m looking forward to it.

  232. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    As I was writing that, my outlook completely changed. This development combined with Barney Google’s return to comandeer his strip is wahoooo!

  233. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#68): BG&SS used to be a continuity strip back in the old Barney Google days. Barney went through all sorts of humorous adventures back then. Makes it appropriate that his appearence in his old strip is in a continuity right now.

  234. Charles Solution
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    So, based on A3G’s fifteen-seconds-or-so of dialogue each day format, that 2006 panel probably took place at most a week before today’s right?

  235. exapno
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#122):

    Which Middletown TG? There is only like 10 or 12 in the country (Middletown NY her, btw).

  236. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#213): They are all good; Dithers is my favorite.

  237. MapDark
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G : Sometimes I think newspaper comic artists are all stuck in a time bubble. The fashion and personal values depicted in that strip are a proof of that. I mean , I’m a dude and have better decorating skills than both my sisters , go figure.

  238. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2012 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman will be terribly jealous when he sees Odin, because he takes his fabled nap in such cool jammies.

  239. Victor Von
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    Archie: I dare anyone to look at panel #3 by itself and not think “Goochie goochie goo!”

  240. Vince M
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Ride dem haunches (#80): Yeah, I have that mimicking tendency myself; I call it Peter Sellers Syndrome.

  241. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#218): Thaaaat’s more like it. Nola in the Backroom Skirt Lifting followed by the Lunch Hour Speed Tryst events. Scored a perfect 10. Or 69. I need to get my eyes checked.

    @Austria (#219): You made me read Curtis. To see the weird kid with a blue hand. What’s wrong with my life?

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#223): Does Mr. Fable know about this?

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#229): CRAPULENCE!

    @tallyHO (#231): Whoa. [/Ted from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure]

    @exapno (#235): I’ll bet it’s the one between Cincinnati and Dayton. A few miles south on I-75 is the Totes Umbrella Outlet. Let’s see that little factoid end up in the strip.

  242. MWDG
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    MW: Good grief these two jealous nerds hating on Nola and her alpha male boss are probably the laughing stock of the corporation they “work” for. Mary will work overtime to try and bring Nola down. I pray each night Mary’s evil ways are thwarted.
    I am guessing these two nerds constantly complain that if managment would only listen to their great advice the company would be sooooo sucessful….We all know that these two geeks will never amount to anything. Finally a realistic MW! Awesome!

  243. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    The shades of night were falling fast,
    As through an Alpine village passed
    A Baka Gaijin, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
    A banner with the strange device,
    CRAPULENCE!

  244. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#241): between Cincinnati and Dayton. A few miles south on I-75 … Touchdown Jesus?

  245. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#149): So people say. But I spent a very, very happy semester in grad school reading Emily Dickinson, and my nerdy classmates and I tested that theory throughout—and it turns out, plenty of her poems don’t have that rhythm. (Of course, she wrote a hell of a lot of poems.)

    @Miss Othmar (#216): But didn’t your 15 year old meet many of us at Mid-Atlanticon? He should know that relatively speaking, you are quite sane.

  246. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#243): Well done. In the spirit of this thread, the verse could use more cowbell “doo dah, doo dah.”

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#244): You gots it!

  247. seismic-2
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    On such a throughly crapulent day as this, guess whose obituary appears today in The Washington Post? R.I.P., sir.

  248. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    MW: I guess Nola took lessons in back-stabbing from Curtis; how is Cousin Andrew doing, anyway? Heh, heh.

    And now I will never be able to truly savor any well-earned promotion until I can saunter down the hall with the Prez, two jealous, spiteful underlings, straight out of the data-processing basement at Abaddonn Industries, muttering and trailing behind us.

  249. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#247): Wow. What a name.

  250. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    For Baka Gaijin

    Some say the world will end in fire,
    Some say in CRAPULENCE.
    From what I’ve tasted of desire
    I hold with those who favor fire.
    But if it had to perish hence,
    I think I know enough of hooch
    To say, that for destruction, crapulence
    Would screw the pooch
    At less expense.
    Oh, doo dah day.

  251. Pyzimber
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#231): Best guess for this arc: Nola keeps “having it all” until she does something that gets her in trouble (like the Prez find out that she framed Smithers, or the “events that led to Nola’s promotion” are revealed). Devastated, Nola turns to the only woman who can help: Mary Worth, who doesn’t really help Nola, other than discussing for four weeks about the dangers of “wanting it all.” Either that, or Nola gets killed off-screen and Mary goes to lunch with Jeff on the Bum Boat.

  252. Red Greenback
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    You stole a friend of mine’s pet bear,
    Doo-da, Doo-da
    Gonna punch your facial hair
    Oh, de doo-da day

  253. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Archie-I’m the hockey mask serial killer. I killed Archie and stole his hockey mask.

  254. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#251):
    Well if that is the more likely course for this fun cruise, I’m getting off the S.S. Mary Worth before she sinks.

  255. seismic-2
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Also on such a crapulent day, have you ever seen anyone looking so constipated? When those bomb doors finally do open, they’re going to unleash a blast so powerful that it will trigger a tsunami in the city’s sewage treatment plant.

  256. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    For all of those who are in despair because their day is crapulent, why not be more like a documentary filmmaker?

    When Life takes away your blind dog subject matter and hands you a double-decker Opossum, slightly crowded, that can whisk you on a romp through, nearly, uncharted woods with a tour guide who is all-knowing, who knows the lay of the land and all of the creatures in the woods and who can carry on conversations with those creatures (and assorted crotches) then you take that Opossum ride and Life goes from Crapulent to not just opulent, but, to Opossum Opulent.

    (the preceding message is posted pending approval from Pogo Opossum, chief Possum who sees progressive possibilities)

    doo dah! doo dah!

  257. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#24): MT: And that evil possum appears to be savoring its “well-earned” promotion. Heh, heh.
    I realized that I haven’t really savored things in my life enough. Starting today, I pledge to savor more. “All God’s chi’ren gotta savor!”
    Heh, heh.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#90): MW: Will somebody please tell Mr. Infodump that his Bogart impression will never be better than C-level?
    You know Mr. Infodump grabbing his jaw reminds me of Woody Allen in that scene in bed with Shelly Duvall (“I’m just trying to work some circulation back into my jaw”). I bet Mr. Infodump just crawled out from under Nola’s desk.

  258. odinthor
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

  259. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: How did you not realize you kidnapped the wrong person?

    Thor: I’m thorry.

  260. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    MT-We have met the enemy and they are a man with a blind hunting dog, a nature writer, and flamboyant film maker.

  261. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Steve, acclaimed documentary filmmaker who answered Land Aquaman’s call of the wild:

    It’s true.They don’t call Thor the Norse god of thunder for nothin’.
    Why, just the other day, I saw him prancing around Valhalla in his Thunderwear.
    So, cut him some slack, web crawler. That rumbling sound you here is ignorance, blissful ignorance that beckons before a summer rain.

    What? It’s winter! Then what am I doing out here in the woods looking for blind hunting dogs? Oh, that’s right. (sigh!) Land Aquaman called me.

    Yes, indeedy. I’ma takin’ the Mark Trail that is taken…All my live long days!

  262. tallyHO
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    ack!

    Hear!….not here…nor there!

    Curses, either Loki or Nola or someother four lettered character (i’m looking at you, Odie!) foiled me again.

  263. Señor Tortilla
    February 23rd, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    In my recent revelation that Shulock writes for Apartment 3-G, it’s appalling that a woman would write with so much odd, stilted dialogue and flagrant misogyny (this whole “It’s my husband’s baby” and Margo and Co. agreeing with this fact without any irony or discomfort).

  264. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#260): At least Mark and Tommy didn’t conspire to fix the Missing Miracle Animal Problem by putting a blindfold on Andy and hoping for the best. Heh, heh.

  265. Liam
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#264):

    I am waiting for Mark to have Rusty come over for fishing and blind him.

  266. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#265): Worst Oedipus Rex adaptation ever.

  267. Tilaney
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#90):
    9CL – what’s going on is the artist is so uptight he can’t allow raw human emotions even in “sex” dreams – lousy vampy sex dreams. True intellectuals woo the savage beasts with classical music. Only beefwits like the rest of us enjoy Tarzan’s primal yell. Of course true beefwits like me preferred George of the Jungle.

  268. Peanut Gallery
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#45): @A Smirch Unheeded (#173): @Baka Gaijin (#203): I’ve always thought the intent of the joke in that Simpsons episode was that only Mr. Burns would be unselfconsciously antiquated enough to use an archaic word that most people would guess means something radically different from what he’s trying to say. (Sorry about that awful sentence. I must be a bit crapulent.)

  269. Sgt. Stoned
    February 23rd, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Memo to Nietzsche: God is not dead. He’s just sound asleep.

    MW: The latest story-line is obviously Moy & Giella’s feeble attempt to show solidarity with “the 99%”. The blue-haired girl is clearly their attempt to depict a punk anarchist soon to be a “#occupysantaroyale”protestor in a desperate attempt to render their strip attractive to “the kids”.

  270. This Guy
    February 24th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#244): Big Butter Jesus, please. Of course, Big Butter Jesus has since burned down. It was struck by lightning.

  271. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 24th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#268):

    @Marc (#45): @A Smirch Unheeded (#173): @Baka Gaijin (#203): I’ve always thought the intent of the joke in that Simpsons episode was that only Mr. Burns would be unselfconsciously antiquated enough to use an archaic word that most people would guess means something radically different from what he’s trying to say. (Sorry about that awful sentence. I must be a bit crapulent.)

    That was the intent, perhaps. But Mr. Burns is superannuated enough to know better. He misused the word, and must be fustigated. Pedants of the world demand condign justice for all who commit such feculent solecisms.

    Say, aren’t you Pen Lateral Guy? That glass is empty, let me bring you a libation.

  272. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 24th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#270): Big Butter Jesus has since burned down. It was struck by lightning.

    Very true. I preferred the names Touchdown Jesus, or Quicksand Jesus. Put not your faith in styrofoam statues built on steel armatures. Look up the video. Burned like a torch. A styrofoam torch. Soaked in gasoline.

    Then it looked like some horrible nightmare Terminator Jesus with all the flesh burnt off, but still attacking…

  273. Frasier Crane
    February 24th, 2012 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    And Mary Worth suddenly pivots to a Stroke Awareness plot!

  274. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 24th, 2012 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Du, du du dah im Herzen
    du, du du dah im Sinn.
    Du, du machst mir viel Schmerzen,
    weißt nicht wie gut ich dir bin.
    Ja, ja, ja, ja, weißt nicht wie gut ich dir bin.
    (O du dah day.)

  275. Ride dem haunches
    February 24th, 2012 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#272): Torchdown Jesus!

  276. Droopy Says
    February 24th, 2012 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Uh, Spidey, do you remember what happened when you tried to fight Thor? No? Fine, just checking. Get in there and battle Loki for all you’re worth. Those of us on earth will order the Pagan Catechism from amazon.com, turn our TVs to the Viking Channel and learn to like Scandinavian death-metal.

    Family Circus: C’mon, Billy, an apple a day keeps the Ritalin away.

    FW: Man, that’s disturbing.

    Phantom: Because I have a bad habit of expecting stories to make sense, I expect the two kids will form a tag-team and battle their captors together, thus setting a good example for their fathers.

    Mock Trail: Hang in there, Stevie Blunder. Butch has fallen in with evil companions. Soon he’ll be smoking, drinking and playing poker with the other bad boys. You can film that. It will be like a tacky Plugger-style painting, only with giant shrews.

    Pluggers: Pluggers will be badly surprised when the world doesn’t end, although by now you’d think they’d be resigned to continuing their sad existences.

  277. $$$Westville Oncologist$$$$$
    February 24th, 2012 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#222):

    Jason Vorhees usually goes after oversexed teenage whores—so hopefully this will mean the end of Archie Andrews!!

  278. Comcis Fan
    February 24th, 2012 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    S4th: Does that mean Faye gave up her video game for Lent?

  279. Victory Garden
    February 24th, 2012 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: Am I the only one who likes this comic? While simultaneously yelling “STOP JUST STOP” at it? Is it just me?

  280. Cal
    February 24th, 2012 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    MW (2-23-2012): Nola has a wandering eye — in more ways than one!

  281. FOOBed again
    February 24th, 2012 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    @nightfly (#220): Moy’s a woman though.

  282. Mr. O'Malley
    February 24th, 2012 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#164): 1000 air miles more or less north of Hollywood would put Blind Dog Forest in northern Washington. Of course if you drive on I-5 it would be further, so maybe somewhere in Oregon. (From Los Angeles to Seattle is something like 1500 miles by road.)

    Heading east on I-40 would find you near the Devil’s Rope Museum in McLean, Texas. Travelling in a north-easterly direction would place you at the Junction City Saloon in Custer, Montana, but of course that is by air miles. By road miles I imagine you would be in Wyoming somewhere.

  283. John C Fremont
    February 24th, 2012 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#270): There are other Heywood Banks fans here! Yay!!

    If, instead of a bad liver, Foster from RMMD’d had a bad pancreas, boy would Heywood have a song for him!

  284. Little A.
    February 24th, 2012 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    BB: You go that right.

  285. gleeb
    February 24th, 2012 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: “Sorry, but my MISSING ARM kept me from doing a competent reporting job.”

    ‘bean: They are unable to escape Bull’s gravitational pull.

  286. teenchy
    February 24th, 2012 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Luann: 2/24 P2: Gunther may have postponed his beatdown from Leslie, but the people from the PowerPoint presentation are ganging up for him.

  287. Jimbo
    February 24th, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Pluggers aren’t worried about their carbon footprint, either, obviously.

  288. Horace Broon
    February 24th, 2012 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    24 Feb:

    A3G: So while we were watching Margo talk to a man with a teddy bear, Tommie was confronting someone? I suppose that’s the sort of thing that has to take place off panel, because no-one would believe it if they saw it.

    ASM: Because random mortals who’ve never been to Asgard before can’t re-enter? Stupidest loophole ever.

    HtH Here in Britain, one can invent an entirely nonexistant, and very dull, subtext to this strip. Hagar used to advertise Skol lager. “I Got Mine” is the slogan of Tennants lager. Clearly he’s switched his alcoholic allegience.

    I did warn you it was dull. But possibly less so than the strip.

    MW Ow, I think that huge mallet Moy’s wielding with “He Was Framed!” written on it is giving me a concussion.

    RMMD: Was there anything Foster wasn’t addicted to?

  289. Boophilus
    February 24th, 2012 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    @Victory Garden (#279): Me, too. I like the art style. I like that Seth is openly gay in a nationally syndicated strip, and he’s not just a walk-on token character. I don’t find it nearly as annoying as most people here seem to — yet — he doesn’t know when to move on.

  290. Dennis
    February 24th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Archie: Damn, the crew from Funky Winkerbean thinks they have it rough with the football team needing to share a bus with the band. In Riverdale they haven’t even been able to afford to buy the hockey team’s goalie a new mask since sometime while Jimmy Carter was President.

  291. nightfly
    February 24th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#281): Thanks, had no idea. Luckily my theory still works… they’re just side-by-side, on-panel, and apparently also both shapeshifters.

  292. John
    February 24th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    You actually misquoted Coach Kleats. Had he said “Now I really want you to block that goal” as you put it would have been an empty sentence. What he did say was ““Now I want you to really block that goal.” Kleats is employing his revolutionary “really” strategy which will change the way we think of the game.

  293. FOOB-a-rama
    April 20th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Hockey goalies haven’t worn masks like that since the early 1980′s. Whoever draws Archie doesn’t know shit about sports.

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