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Depressing Tuesday

Ziggy, 2/28/12

That’s true, Ziggy! It’s also true that sometimes that door is an inky black portal radiating evil so powerful that it somehow, incomprehensibly, casts a shadow, and that it doesn’t lead to opportunity so much as to an awful hell-dimension full of soul-devouring demons. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Pluggers, 2/28/12

Pluggers know that if things really get bad, well, old Jed down at the pawn shop has a pair of pliers, and a few hours of pain should pay the rent for another month or two.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/28/12

Did you know that “druthers,” as in “If I had my druthers, the characters in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith would keep their tongues in their mouths instead of letting them flap about obscenely,” is actually a contraction of “I’d rather”? It’s true! Today’s Snuffy Smith sent me on an etymological voyage of discovery, which is a sentence that I’m pretty sure has never been written before and will never be written again.

Six Chix, 2/28/12

Aw, that bluebird looks awfully sad! Probably because the squirrel has just told it, in so many words, that it’s going to starve to death.

253 responses to “Depressing Tuesday”

  1. Little A.
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    9CL: How long is this lame business going to continue? Haven’t we seen this many times before? I like the drawing, though.

    LUANN: We haven’t seen her in quite a while. She may be out in the country somewhere having Quill’s baby.

    Right.

  2. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Six Chix tries so very hard to prove the theory that all humor is based on cruelty.

    MW: The euphemisms are just as fun as Nola’s wild-eyed evil horniness.

    A3G: Tommie delivers her very first baby and nobody gives a damn because Margo toying with Scott is infinitely more entertaining. Will she kill him for dialing wrong or crack his vertebrae with an afternoon of angerfucking? Either way, it will be glorious.

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: Also may look a little crazy: SQUIRREL WITH A MULLET

  4. sporknpork
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    It’s probably not the best idea for Snuffy and Lukey to head out on rickety boat offshore to fish for humpback whales, but that copy of Moby Dick Lukey is pretending to read would’ve told them that.

  5. Hibbleton
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Nah, Tommie’s drowning a brown snake. Give’er a minute. She’ll be right out.”

  6. DoubtingApostle
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    BGaSS It seems Josh has never seen the musical adaptation of Li’l Abner, surprising given his line of work.

  7. Doctor Handsome
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    It’s like the Godfather, if being literate had been Fredo’s betrayal.

  8. sporknpork
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Am I having a stroke, or is Pluggers literally sliding into irrelevancy?

  9. Ned Ryerson
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#2): Thanks, I’ve got the title of my next novel: afternoon of angerfucking.

    Josh, I guess I grew up around enough people whose pronounciation of “I’d rather” sounds close enough to “I druther” to have had that association in my head without aid of a fancy “etymological voyage of discovery”. So, yay Polk County.

  10. Hibbleton
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: So in other words, that’s Marmaduke behind the door and this is another one of those wacky comics crossovers.

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Ziggy Does the Classics

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
    As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
    “‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —
    Only this, and nothing more.”

  12. ScienceGiant
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: No, the acorn thing doesn’t look a little crazy. IT LOOKS A LITTLE NUTS.

  13. CanuckDownSouth
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are so cheap that they get married with plastic crackerjack-box-prize rings?

  14. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    I thought “Druthers” was the name of Dagwood’s boss. AW! AW! AWWWW!

  15. Peanut Gallery
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y256):
    It is a continuing source of disappointment to me, that various drugstores named “Gateway Pharmacy” (because they’re in some region or shopping center called “Gateway”) do not use the name “Gateway Drugs”.

  16. Ali
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    FW – They’re headed off a cliff in that bus in the “Frizzle” aren’t they?

  17. Mr. Guilt
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Long Time Reader, First Time Poster…

    LUANN: Seriously, this bully thread has gone on long enough, and past the point where it was funny or interesting.

    Actually, it never was funny or interesting.

  18. Doctor Handsome
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Portrait of Ziggy: a man who has at last accepted his role as the gatekeeper between the tragicomic and the painfully unfunny; between shadow and nightmare; between pantslessness and hairlessness. And in a moment, Ziggy will be your tour guide on an all-expenses-paid sojourn through the scenic valleys of the Twilight Zone.

  19. Chyron HR
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    JP – Sam’s going to feel pretty silly when he realizes that Steve was actually tailing the wrong woman all day.

  20. Dennis Jimenez
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – God never slams a door in you face, without smashing a windowsill down on your fingers….

    Pluggers – A Plugger grill comes courtsey of the Tennesee Department of Corrections….

    BG&SS – Elviney’s meatloaf looks, smells and tastes the same coming out as it did going in – it’s funny ‘cuz it’s really true….

    6C – And a stiff-frozen and dead blue bird of happyiness is the perfect ending to our little tour of today’s funny pages….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  21. Little Guy
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Enough with the “Clueless Gunk” already and have him overpower the muggers already.

    JP: “And we found out she used to be a fat bearded Siberian guy who ran a call center for a credit card company.”

  22. Liam
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    JP-She checked into the hotel under the name Jane Smith and we know that she looks nothing like a Jane Smith.

    MT-Here is a tree that I once used as a bathroom.

  23. pugfuggly
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    BG&SS THe hidden joke in today’s Barney Google is that ol’ Barney and Lukey are just about to go over a possible deadly waterfall, as evidenced by the lack of a shoreline behind them. Also, Lukey ‘reading’? Now that’s hilarious.

    Six Chix “What’s my back-up? Flying to Florida and living in the sun for a few months. Enjoy your stale acorns and winter torpor, you twat.”

    ASM Spidey doesn’t have time to listen to the end of sentences! He’ll figure out how to get into Asgard the same way he figured out his toaster: slowly and painfully….

    MW Did you catch that? Nola knows french, the very language of amoral promiscuity! Stay on your toes, Mary, this could be your Moriarty…

  24. Nary Worth
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#8):

    Am I having a stroke, or is Pluggers literally sliding into irrelevancy?

    Isn’t that kind of the point of Pluggers?

    @Little A. (#1):

    LUANN: We haven’t seen her in quite a while.

    After 25 years, it seems that Greg has found himself running out of things to do with Luann as a character, and has had to switch focus to the supporting cast. That’s not inherently bad, and it’s sort of a natural progression for a strip with no real ending point, but recently Luann herself is running the risk of becoming is the new Barney Google.

  25. Russ H.
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    SC: And not only will I have plenty of acorns to eat, my hair dryer and gel are stocked up as well.

  26. tbiggs
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#3):

    Actually it looks like the squirrel has a mini-horse-head.

  27. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Phantom — It’s a good thing Señor Tiger said to hunt and kill “the Masked Mexican” because we wouldn’t want his assassins to target an innocent masked AMERICAN… like Batman or Spider-Man.

  28. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#8): Am I having a stroke, or is Pluggers literally sliding into irrelevancy?
    Say what? Has Pluggers ever been anything but irrelevant? It revels in irrelevancy. It stands defiantly in the schoolhouse door of relevance and declaims, “Irrelevancy today, irrelevancy tomorrow, irrelevancy forever!”

  29. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    SM: Silly Odin—everyone knows that those Invisible Fences don’t actually keep the gods in.

    JP: Sam is stunned: “A fake ID? Good god, what kind of criminal mastermind can procure a fake ID? This is far more serious than we thought!”

    Curtis: It’s a good thing that Curtis has sufficient street smarts to know that spitting on a mugger is a great way to deter him.

    FC: I’m wondering what Billy liked that has Dolly so furious: “You liked Tree of Life? God, I can’t even stand to look at you!”

  30. jvwalt
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: I don’t know which is the bigger strain on credulity: that Lukey is supposedly reading a book, or that Snuffy doesn’t immediately pitch him overboard for the act. We don’t cotton to no book larnin’ in Hootin’ Holler!

    Reminds me of the Bill Hicks routine where he’s at a Waffle House reading a book, and the waitress comes up to him and says, “What’re you reading for?”

    Not “What are you reading” — “what are you reading FOR?”

  31. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#y255): Not my cousin—yipes! No, Curtis had a “plot” not too long ago in which Curtis thought that Chutney was seeing another guy, and Curtis got him framed for shoplifting, and then it turned out that the guy was Chutney’s cousin Andrew. Hilarity ensued. Cousin Andrew was carted off and never heard from again.

    @Mr. Guilt (#17): Hi! Welcome!

  32. sporknpork
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Nary Worth (#24): @A Smirch Unheeded (#28): Yeah, meant to type “even more irrelevant”, if that’s even possible.

  33. Nary Worth
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#29):

    “A fake ID? Good god, what kind of criminal mastermind can procure a fake ID? This is far more serious than we thought!”

    I don’t see why “Monique” bothers with fake IDs. It’s kind of pointless trying to be surreptitious when your somewhat improbable figure makes sure you’ll clearly stand out anywhere outside of an episode of Baywatch (uh-oh, with TV reference points that old, I might be becoming a Plugger).

  34. sporknpork
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Nary Worth (#24): @A Smirch Unheeded (#28): Whoops. Messed up typing again. My fingers need sleep and lots of it.

  35. Little Guy
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Curtis, redux: Billingsly will pull the mother of all plot twists out of his….

    Well, we all know Curtis is a fastidious eater, but the Question We Date Not Ask is “Where does it go *afterwards*?”

    I’m thinking more of the mocking French troops in the castle from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” than the post-Brazillian shish-kebob from “Bridesmaids”.

  36. Little Guy
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

  37. bats :[
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Is the Darkgate Comic Slurper working this morning? It isn’t for me. Iz sad.

  38. Liam
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Ziggy-What is knocking at his door is the inevitable knowledge that we shall all die one day including short, bald, pantless wearing men.

  39. bats :[
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    OTOH, it is World Spay Day, so do the right thing and spay and neuter your pets, or Bob Barker will come and get you.
    (A no-kill shelter in Tucson is having a fundraiser to neuter 150 cats, Nola Wolverson Rick Santorum and 50 dogs, celebrating it as the ‘Testicle Festival’…let the good times roll…or something like that!)

  40. LUJBEM FEJF
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Zigmeister- That’s right Ziggy, walk away from the light.
    “Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?” “Sorry wrong door.” “Okay.”

  41. Buck Ripsnort
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#3): I thought that squirrel was supposed to look like Donald Trump when I saw it; SQUIRREL W/ A TRUMP COMBOVER.

  42. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    But with a reputable source like Glenn Beck endorsing investing in gold coins, wouldn’t that be right up a Plugger’s ally?

  43. Ed Dravecky
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Those Westview students better pray they’re on the Magic School Bus so Ms. Frizzle can say “Bus, do your stuff!” because they’re taking chances, making mistakes, and things are about to get messy.

  44. word-doctor
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Alleged debts”? How about fumigating the basement where Foster soiled his bathrobe with Old Crow scented glop as he expired? How about therapy for a widow who stuck with a dick who treated her codependency as an excuse to drink himself to death? What the fuck, Rex, do you think the ethics board will let you keep 25GR so you can buy a bigger livewell for your bigmouf bass sled?

  45. Marc
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Nary Worth (#24): We can only hope that the whole strip goes the way of Barney Google and disappears from the comics pages completely.

  46. Faoladh
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Libertarian squirrel says, “I got mine, Jack. Screw yours.”

  47. Dennis Jimenez
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#28): Well, I mean not relevant like a redneck/blue collar comedy tour, but still – highly relevant….

  48. McManx
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    B. Bailey — Okay, someone please get the Walkers a plumb bob; Sarge hanging a few degrees off vertical is just plain annoying.

    Curtis — When did urban hoods start talking with Brooklyn accents like Bugs Bunny? I mean, since 1932?

    Slylock Fox — Spot the six differences:
    – The mice are even more comtemptuous in the second panel
    – The food is less nutritious in the second panel
    – The turkey has more food-borne bacteria growing upon it in panel two
    – The body of the cat squashed behind the fridge is in full rigor in panel two
    – The dog notices his master’s ass is somewhat larger in the second panel
    and — I am bored out of my mind by panel two.

  49. Anonymous
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#3): Darn it, beat me to it…

  50. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: Late summer and autumn is the time to make the pun “Gathering acorns? Are you nuts? Get it? Nuts?” When the squirrel is kicking back with a silo of good eats in a dreary winter landscape is the time to serenade the furry one with the best the blue-bird-of-ill-fortune has to offer. Maybe a remake of “Takin’ Care of Business”.

    Snuffy: Without ‘lectricity, that meatloaf spoiled in a matter of hours. Lukey is going to get all kinds of intestinal infections with disgusting consequences! Oh the hilarity!

    Pluggers smile creepily at waitresses in coffee shops. The waitresses are not impressed, since pluggers go to the dentist once every four decades.

    PBS: Please replace the 4th wall and keep it there. I paid full price for my dead tree paper and I expect 4 walls on every comic, dammit. If you don’t put it back in, then pass the savings along to us, Pastis.

  51. Crankenstank
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Ziggy just makes more sense if you understand it’s all about sex. I will thus leave it to the reader to decipher today’s Zigster koan.

  52. exapno
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    9CL: I don;t care what anyone else thinks, Brooke can do this every day, as far as I am concerned..

    BLONDIE: Actually funny – of all the legacies, Blondie keeps up with the times a lot more than the others…the gags don’t always work, but they TRY…

    CS: If Batiyuk had changed the names of the strikeout victims to say, Mantle, Berra and Maris, it make some actual SENSE…I mean, almost all of the 69 Mets are almost in their 70s, for Petes Sake,,,

  53. Mumbly_joe
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    It may just be me, but I always assumed that Pluggers *would* invest in gold, given the chance, and stockpile it between the Liberty Seeds and shotgun ammo in the bunker they have prepped for America’s inevitable economic and political collapse.

    So, I guess the upshot here is that Pluggers are so destitute and miserable that they’re basically resigned to being devoured by ravening packs of wolves and/or cannibals, when society collapses, as they implicitly know it will.

  54. rembrandt36
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Enough with the clueless Gunk storyline

    Luann – please let Gunther get the shit beat out of him and end this piece of shit storyline

    9CL – some are tired of this – but I will take this any day over Brooke trying to tell a story.

  55. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Crank: Batuik, you have been doing comics since most pluggers invested (for the first and last time) in gold. Yet, you don’t understand that you don’t drop whatever excuse for a punch line you have in the first panel. Is there any possible way that you could have rephrased it such that “seduction” appears close to the end? Why, yes, there is!
    Panel 1: I’d like to thank York, etc.
    Panel 2: Without whom I would not have been seducted into the hall of fame.
    Boom, done. Well, not “boom” with that pun, more like “Poop, done”.

  56. Señor Tortilla
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    6C: The squirrel is channeling Margo, no doubt. Or is it the other way around? After all, it’s all Shulock’s work.

    AND DARKGATE ISN’T WORKING. OK, now the SeattlePI.

    DT: Locher Auditorium? Is that where the pre-2011 Dick Tracy strips were, moving around cardboard cut-outs of characters?

    MW: But…but…Mary bragged about the stupid “child rescue” thing!

    AS-M: [cue laugh track]

    Can’t believe no one commented on my Archie commentary yesterday, or even made a similar reference.

  57. Señor Tortilla
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Oh, and the Batiuk commentary: am I only one who misread the joke and thought it was about Bull’s flatulence?

  58. Esther Blodgett
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    FW: Fortune cookie? What do Asians know about playing basketball? /rimshot /airball

    Curtis: I could spit spit on a stranger (pull me out)…

    Pluggers: It must be the morning I’m having, but it really looks as if the Plugger waitress is about to snap and hurl a pot of hot coffee at the old guy’s face. Also, shouldn’t he have a couple of, you know, canine teeth?

  59. Mibbitmaker
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids up!

    Lio would love to play in Surrelia’s imagination!
    If he could take it, that is!

  60. seismic-2
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MW: That ear-to-ear grin on Nola’s face – somehow, we just know that this Meddle of the Titans will end with Nola’s smiling broadly at Mary’s face and glaring deeply into her soul, as she says “I complete you.”

  61. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Phantom:
    Tiger #1Find the masked Mexican and kill him!

    Henchman: Can’t we just watch TV and eat popcorn with him and his kids? You can all bond. I’m sure of it.

  62. Mibbitmaker
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: Wasn’t this an SCTV sketch? (apologies to Dave Thomas for casting him here as Ziggy)

    (BG&)SS: Conversation aside, are they trying to play “Deliverance”, or would that be redundant?

    6C: That was the bluebird of happiness, but now he’s just going to move to FW, where he’ll fit in perfectly.

  63. Marc
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- Nola is mindfucking Mary so bad right now, the old bitty’s meddle detector is about to explode.

    Funky- What about bringing her on as an assistant was a big risk? She’s not getting paid and you’re the athletic director. So the only way she could get the head coaching job is if you fire yourself. Christ, this is fucking stupid. The Blue Jackets suck, Buckeyes football has been sanction central, and now the upstate asshole brigade has made their way into town. Must be a horrible time to be in Columbus.

    Luann- I don’t know of anybody that deserves a bigger beating than Gunther. I know it won’t happen because he’s “a likable and strong moral protagonist” or some Greg Evans bullshit like that but I’m still clinging to a faint hope that both of Gunther’s orbital bones are smashed to pieces.

    Mark Trail- Oh boy, plot twist. Look out!

    Curtis- Curtis is about to have a back alley apendectomy.

    Family Circus- Thus began Jeffy’s facination with the most brutal dicators in history. “She’ll either agree with me or I’ll bludgeon her to death with that egg with legs she’s carrying around.”

  64. Horace Broon
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: The fact Scott asks formally for “Abigail Thompson” (rather than “Hello, is that Tommie?”) and is surprised to hear Margo answer the phone, leads me to conclude that he has never bothered to learn the names of Margo’s flatmates.

    BB: It was funnier when Garfield did it. And it wasn’t funny then.

    FC: I assume the 52 on Jeffy’s sweatshirt is significant. Maybe he’s a fan of DC Comics’ “New 52″ but Dolly objects to the objectification of some female characters. Or maybe he just thinks the number 52 is neat, and she doesn’t. That seems more likely, actually.

    FW: I’m not sure how an inept coach, who is currently losing every single game, deciding to get a co-coach who actually knows the sport qualifies as “quite a risk”. What was he risking? No surprise to learn where Bull gets his aphorisms from, though.

    RMMD: I realise Mabel’s supposed to be lying, but it’s not until you see it laid out like this “He probably won the money gambling! I need it to pay off the debts he had because he lost at gambling!” that you realise just how absurd her story is.

  65. Sparkle Plenty
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    MT: When Mark isn’t in it, the strip is better. Good luck, Butch! Find Tommy’s scent!

  66. S. Stout
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Gunther’s best friend just said he would do nothing if Leslie beat the crap out of Gunther right in front of him. That’s all sorts of sad.

  67. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    6C:I think the bluebird is sad because it realized it’s talking to a squirrel with Donald Trump hair.

  68. Austria
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    BGSS: So Lukey is saying “I’d I’d rather”? We need to get Joe Cobb’s mother all up in this comic.

    BC: Oh, I give up.

    H&L: If any strip could make reading the newspaper seem obnoxious and self-important, it’d be this one.

    Jump: Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to give small babies pillows or blankets.

    PBS: Man alive, I wish our deadtree picked Cul-De-Sac instead of Rhymes With Orange.

  69. TheDiva
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    6C: Even squirrels are preparing for the zombie apocalypse.

    Pluggers have their life insurance policy in their fillings.

    Ziggy: You are entering another dimension. A dimension not of sight or sound, but of mind. A dimension where there are no pants and bland pseudo-philosophical quotes are counted as wisdom. That signpost up ahead: The Ziggy Zone.

    A3G: Scott panics, remembering all too well what happened the last time he drunk dialed Margo.

    C’shaft: Much in the way an uncomfortable public speaker will picture his audience in their underwear to ease his nerves, Cranky’s audience gets through his speech by envisioning him at the end of a hangman’s rope. Hence the smiles.

    FW: Annie’s starting to look a little desiccated again–time for a fresh infusion of living blood. (Run while you can, Nameless Ponytail Girl.)

    Luann: In this case, I hope “it gets better” refers to Gunther’s long delayed and much-deserved pummeling.

    MW: Shame on Nola for using her networking skills to get hired! What’s next, maintaining a good working relationship by going to lunch with her colleagues?

    SM: Asgard: the universe’s bug zapper!

  70. TheDiva
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#66): If you were Gunther’s best friend, wouldn’t you want to see him beat up? (Actually, if you were Gunther’s best friend, wouldn’t you wonder what cruel fate had doomed you to such an indignity?)

  71. bats :[
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

  72. Dartpaw86
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Okay, with Snuffy Smith; the comic completely lost me by revealing that the residents of Hootin’ Holler can in fact read.

  73. Dood
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    I like how Snuffy and Lukey adapted the hog trough to use as a boat. If you live in Hootin’ Holler, you have to be resourceful with your re-purposing.

  74. erdmann
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s “Mary Worth”: Nola leans forward and confesses, “Only in part, Mary. I also framed my predecessor to get him fired. Oh, did I mention I had slept with him, too? Does that shock you, Mary? No? What if I told you I sold watered-down Penicillin on the black market in post-war Vienna? Or that I was the one who set the fire that killed my parents when I was 12? Or that Aldo’s death was no accident…?”

  75. Ian Beste
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#23): BG&SS: Rule No. 1 of Moving Bodies of Water in Cartoons: There’s always a waterfall.
    @Mumbly_joe (#53): I’ve always suspected that the real survivors of a Total Meltdown of Society would be those annoyingly-healthy Sierra Club types who would simply grab their backpacks, tents and energy bars and live in the mountains, communing with the native wildlife and fending off the gun-toting survivalist types with clever deadfall traps and handmade weapons.

  76. Oregonian
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    If I understand Six Chix correctly, the My Little Pony doll is storing her dreidels away for next Hanukkah while engaging in idle banter with a passing bird. I don’t know where the acorns come into all this.

  77. Spyglass
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Wait, if you only learned about “druthers” today, that means you don’t regularly follow the Inky Fool. He has a marvellous blog about weird words that I think would be right up your alley. He talked about “druthers” a couple of years ago, but I highly recommend you check out his other entries. I haven’t read his book yet but it’s on my list!

  78. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#64): Why didn’t Foster’s gambling debts die with him? I lie awake at night contemplating that question. Last night I tossed and turned for, like, seconds.

  79. Ned Ryerson
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#62): Ziggy: Wasn’t this an SCTV sketch? (apologies to Dave Thomas for casting him here as Ziggy)

    Yeah, I made that connection as well. Lin Ye Tang’s Doorway to Hell

    Snuff: I know that Snuffy and Lukey are taking in sexual code. I know what “fish fer supper” means, but I can’t quite work out the meaning of “leftover meatloaf”.

  80. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#37), @Señor Tortilla (#56):

    I ran into the same difficulty. Likely it’s a technical problem. Or part of the continuing protest against the SOPA and PIPA legislation in Congress.

  81. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @erdmann (#74):
    Mary: You know that I drained Aldo’s brake fluid??

    Nola: Oh, I was referring to when I cut the brake wire halfway through. Dirty basstard.

    Mary: May he rot in hell! Cheers!

    Nola: Heh heh.

  82. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#79): leftover meatloaf=sloppy seconds

  83. btown
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#15): In New York City around 20 years ago there was a drug store chain called “Love Drugs”. All the staff wore T-shirts and hats with the store name on it. I wish I could find one of those hats on Ebay!

  84. Shrug
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @btown (#83):

    When I first saw an outlet of the “Thrifty White Drugs” chain I remarked that there’s niche marketing for everyone…

  85. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: Look, it is Butch!

    Cecil B. DeMoron: Ok, let’s start filming!

    Tommy: Wait, we must look for the missing jacket!

    Cecil: I’m doing you a favor slapping together a crappy documentary on your Stevie Wonder Hound. I’m also catching the next flight out of this shithole. If you want to chase an old jacket, that’s your call.

    Mark: The jacket thieves may have also stolen more things!

    Cecil: What thieves? We’re in a fucking forest.

    Mark: You wouldn’t believe the crime rate here. Besides, I need someone to PUNCH.

  86. Pozzo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    So, isn’t “I’d druther” hillbilletymologically improper? Shouldn’t it be “I druther”?

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    9cl: pictorial proof that the sun really does shine from out of Edda’s vajoo.

    PBS: explains why CdS in in guest-strips for a few weeks . . .

    Zits: why isn’t Jeremy dead yet, strip elebenty dozen and five.

    FW: pretty much the same thing, really.

    PMP: pretty sad when it’s the buxom blonde as the brains of the scene.

    SFx: that’s Thirsty from H&L, isn’t it?

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Love Is . . . more online prostitution.

  89. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @erdmann (#74):

    Tomorrow’s “Mary Worth”: Nola leans forward and confesses, “Only in part, Mary. I also framed my predecessor to get him fired. Oh, did I mention I had slept with him, too? Does that shock you, Mary? No? What if I told you I sold watered-down Penicillin on the black market in post-war Vienna? Or that I was the one who set the fire that killed my parents when I was 12? Or that Aldo’s death was no accident…?”

    Oh! Can I play?

    “…Or that I lit the fire at the Triangle Shirt-Waist Company, after locking the doors! Or that I forged the Protocols of the Elders of Zion for the Okhrana? Or that I rode a tank, held a general’s rank, while the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank? Pleased to meet you, Mary, have you guessed my name?”

    Mary: “Well, you’re obviously a woman of wealth and taste. But what’s puzzling me is the nature of this green glop they serve here.”

  90. UncleJeff
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Love Is….sharing your topless webcam shots with Little Naked Guy (and his friends…and their friends….and a couple of websites and peer-to-peer groups….and the local district attorney)

    GT: One meaningless team-bonding gesture with a side of Hep-C to go!

  91. Pyzimber
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#2): I believe “Afternoon Angryfucking” was a hit for The Starlight Vocal Band in the 1970s:
    Gonna find my baby, gonna go out trucking
    gonna grab some afternoon angryfucking…

    Chickens that need plucking…
    Afternoon Angryfucking… Aaaaaafternoon Angryfucking…”

  92. Pyzimber
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ali (#16): They’ll be plummeting down Cancer Chasm any moment now…

  93. Pyzimber
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#23): Never thought of it that way, but Nola being Moriarty to Mary’s Sherlock (Meddle-lock Homes?) makes perfect sense. Does this make Toby or Bree her Watson?

  94. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Are we supposed to recognize these names? Is it funny because he’s mangling them? Or are they members of other teams that he beat? Or does the shading indicate that the room is on fire behind him? Because that actually would be funny.

    Fred – “Yorky’s not small! He’s just BIG-BONED!”
    (That is what Fred Basset of Earth-Funny might have said.)

    Hi – I remember getting ink on my fingers before, oh, maybe around 1997, when newspapers seemed to have figured out how to print without the ink coming off on everything. (Fun fact: My late father-in-law had a job helping various newspapers work out how to do that.)

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Butch, the Blind and Lost Bird Dog – That old bank robber just called this old dog stupid, so he deserves whatever he gets. In the meantime, we get to watch old Butch for a while before old Mark finally sniffs out Tommy’s old coat.

    Phantom – “The Masked Mexican”? Those Luchadores don’t look far for a name, do they?

    Valiant – Whoa! A new arbitrary strip has been chosen to show up every day for the next few weeks. I wonder what their criteria are for selecting them?

  96. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man – Whoa! ZAP City! Good thing you didn’t pee on it, Spidey! (“Ow! My spinnerets!”)

    Family – Jeffy’s jersey says “52″? That can’t be right. That would seem to imply he’s playing with a full deck.

    Ziggy – Break out the thorazine. He’s dispensing happy little homilies again. (“Kudos, Margaret. Kudos.”)

  97. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#y262): Butch falls into an abandoned well, steps on a rusty bear trap or gets caught in a blizzard, right?
    Gets stuck under a station wagon on a sandbar with the tide coming in?

    @John C Fremont (#y270): I never saw any like that. Yeah, maybe it was a regional thing. Or maybe Mountain Dew was just a very enlightened employer.

    Josh – That’s no ordinary bluebird. It’s the Blue Bird of Haplessness!

  98. Steve
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    February is Self-Actualization Month in the comix! Don’t let anything deter you from going after what you want. Not even…
    MW: Mary Worth’s disapproval.
    Curtis: Curtis’ saliva.
    S-M: The electric doggie-fence around Asgard.
    Luann: Twenty dollars. Seriously, just beat the guy up already.

  99. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#15): I’m even more disappointed that they don’t SELL gateway drugs.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#29): Silly Odin—everyone knows that those Invisible Fences don’t actually keep the gods in.
    The problem is that a god will see a squirrel or think he sees the Lady Sif and get all excited and run right through it, but once he’s no longer all het up, he won’t be able to get back in.

    @bats :[ (#37): Darkgate worked for me. I hope by the time I write this it will have gotten it together for you.

  100. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#91): Doo dah, doo dah.

  101. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

  102. Joshua
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#94): Those are three real-life baseball players (two of whom are in the Baseball Hall of Fame) whom Crankshaft once struck out.

  103. Voshkod
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    You unlock this door with the key of banality. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of blandness, a dimension of boredom, a dimension of tedium. You’re moving into a land both pantless and humorless, a land of bad art and no ideas. You’ve just crossed over into . . . the Ziggy Zone.

  104. Pyzimber
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I’m so glad that Ed dressed up for this occasion. Biggest honor of your life and you’re wearing a hat and your bus jacket with your name on it. God this is painful.

    H&L: I’m just glad that Hi has his left arm back, unless this a flashback strip to 1995, when the “newspapers vs. the Internet” debate was actually relevant.

    MT: “Now you’ve done it, Chester McBank Robber – you called a dog stupid. Now you shall pay for your heinous crimes!”

    MW: Instead of meddling, Mary tries to impress Nola with her ability to levitate a potted plant with her nose…

    A3G: Is “Abigail Thompson” Tommie’s real name, or her online prostitution pseudonym? Not versed enough in A3G lore to know this yet.

  105. odinthor
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99):

    Nope, no Darkgate for me either as of a moment ago. bats:[ and I will have to figure out what we did to make the universe hate us. [Mind reels with possibilities.] No, on second thought, maybe we had better just surf porn find something else to do…

  106. LP2004
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#102): All three played for the Detroit Tigers in the 1930′s and 1940′s. Rudy York’s last season was 1942. So ol’ Ed the school bus driver must be in his late 80′s.

  107. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#94):

    Fred – “Yorky’s not small! He’s just BIG-BONED!”

    You made the funniest Fred Basset ever. This may be the first time I’ve actually chuckled for this strip.

  108. seismic-2
    February 28th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft should also have thanked Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker, for making it possible for all three batters to strike out against him in a random inning of a meaningless major / minor league exhibition game.

  109. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#37): Well, I’m glad it’s not simply my computer refusing to acknowledge Dark Gate any more. The site isn’t simply not working, it’s not even registering. I’m getting that same dlink search you get when the URL is invalid.

  110. terrapin
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    FW: Coach gets his philosophy from the same place Batiuk gets his plots.

    MW: Tomorrow, Nola’s head spins around.

  111. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#109): It’s Ziggy’s fault.

  112. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#60): “Meddle of the Titans.” You win the “Title This Mary Worth Storyline” award.

    @TheDiva (#69): “That signpost up ahead: The Ziggy Zone.” [Baka hooks a U-turn and heads to Judge Parker's Tittyrama zone.]

    @erdmann (#74): To which Mary asks, “Were you involved with the Lindberg baby, too?”

  113. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#109): The Slurper’s working fine for me…

  114. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#113): Yeah, but you got magic powers or something.

  115. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#91): Hmm. I could have sworn I had that song on a Gail Martin 8-track.

  116. Lucky
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Blondie – Boy, Norton just keeps getting worse.

    Marmaduke – Mr Hitler sure is acting calm for someone who has just been woken up by a horrific (and presumably hungry) hellbeast.

  117. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G I have yet to see anyone comment on this, so I will: I’m really disturbed that Tommie works for a place that thinks she’s fit to step in as a midwife when she hadn’t even delivered one baby before! What kind of cheap-ass medical training does she have? How did she learn to be a midwife without attending and assisting at lots and lots of births? I mean, hell, my brother-in-law is an ophthalmologist, and he assisted at several births as part of his training rotation.

    *shakes head*

  118. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Nola leans in and lowers her voice so as not to be overheard when she tells Mary, “Prehensile pubes! That’s my secret.”

    Nola has surpassed a combined Jill Black and Charley Smith as my most favoritest evah Mary Worth character. She’s like buttah.

  119. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#117): Talk about a midwife crisis.

    What?!

  120. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#108): Crank drinks alone, with nobody else . . .

  121. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    O U Plugger! Flirting with that waitress with your goo-goo-googly teeth. Hubba hubba hubba.

  122. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#119): badum-TISH!

  123. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): Is it geographical… some range of IP addresses? Solar flares? A Y2.012K leap year issue?

    Sadly, my magic powers are limited to predicting the outcomes of Anthony Trollope novels, and, due to a bizarre mischance, I’m only permitted to use that power for evil.

  124. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#37): SmartViper Web Analysis says that Darkgate is down.

  125. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Dear PWIRS*:

    According to the WatchMouse monitoring network, darkgate.net is down:

    http://www.downornot.com/darkgate.net

    That is all.

    *People Who Ignore Rocky Stoneaxe

  126. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#124): I still say it’s Ziggy’s fault. Look at him. Guarding the dark gate.

  127. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#124): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#125): It is STILL working for me!

    // Wanna know how The Eustace Diamonds ends?

  128. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so Darkgate is down — then how is Smirch Unheeded still getting it? Are they afraid that, even as their servers melt down and their staff is busy fighting electrical fires that if they deny a certain person his comics that he will start a campaign against them?

  129. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#128): [Old Man] Muffaroo is getting it too. See @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99):

  130. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#128): I threatened them with the denouement of Phineas Redux. They caved.

  131. pugfuggly
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#75):

    BG&SS: Rule No. 1 of Moving Bodies of Water in Cartoons: There’s always a waterfall.

    Unfortunately, the second rule of moving bodies of waters in cartoons is that going over waterfalls is rarely fatal.

    @Pyzimber (#93):

    Never thought of it that way, but Nola being Moriarty to Mary’s Sherlock (Meddle-lock Homes?) makes perfect sense. Does this make Toby or Bree her Watson?

    I’d say Toby. And obviously Dr Jeff is her Mrs. Hudson.

  132. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129): Muffaroo knows Lotsa Stuff (just ask him). They won’t meddle with his comics, for he is subtle and quick to anger.

  133. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#119): Groannnnn…

  134. hogenmogen
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    I call bullshit on Ziggy’s fortune-cookie optimism. He juxtaposes “hard knocks” with “opportunity knocks” and out pops a pseudo-proverb. But “hard knocks” are what a negative experience did to you. “Opportunity” is a future possibility that you elect voluntarily. Merely because they share a word in common does not mean that it makes sense when you throw them together.

    Because I think in a coherent chronological sense, I didn’t answer the door today. It might have been opportunity knocking, but I was afraid of all the hard knocks that would come later. Turns out it was Publisher’s Clearing House with one of those giant checks for $10million. Now they’re gone and they’re not coming back. Fuck you, Ziggy. I hate you forever.

  135. Marthas Rolling Pin
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Bearded bad guys sing this song
    Doo-dah, Doo-dah
    Mark’s punchless streak 500 days long
    Oh Doo-dah day.

  136. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#135):
    Bearded bad guys sing this song
    Doo-dah, Doo-dah
    Mark’s punchless streak 500 days long
    Oh Doo-dah day.

    So. It has come to this?

  137. Ride dem haunches
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#119): Midwife crisis? Ouch.

  138. seismic-2
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Margo? Have I dialed wrong?”
    These questions are poorly phrased. If the answer to the first question is “No,” then the answer to the second question is probably “Yes.” If, however, the answer to the first question is “Yes,” then the answer to the second question is most certainly “More than you can possibly imagine.”

  139. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    In real-life news, I learned that you can mop a rug, that a clunking washing machine can occasionally give you a valuable heads-up, and that a rubber glove can do a very effective job as a stopper in the sink the washer drains into.

    @Joshua (#102): Thanks. It’s not that I really want to be ignorant!

    @Sequitur (#107): For my next trick, I’ll trisect an angle while squaring a circle!

    @Sequitur (#119): Argh.

  140. Pyzimber
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#115): The problem, of course, is that the song gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day, and you need an even more obnoxious song to push it out.

  141. Liam
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    FW-It was a risk because she is a registered sex offender. Ask her why she isn’t a coach anymore.

    Spiderman-Asgard must be a terrible place to live when the only person who can stop Loki can’t come in. An entire place full of gods and only one can take out Loki.

    A3G-Scott, I can’t hear you. The phone is down near my mouth. You are going to talk louder so I can hear you.

    MW-Join us tomorrow as Nola talks vaguely about how she got her promotion and Mary talks vaguely about how Nola shouldn’t have done it.

    MW 2-I can’t wait for when they start to order. “I shall have the chicken parmesan and I always get what I want,” Nola. “You shouldn’t order that. It sounds ambitious. Me I am going to settle for something plain like my love life,” Mary.

  142. Cloudbuster
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Faoladh (#46): Communist Blue Bird gets a dozen of his friends, beats up Libertarian Squirrel, takes 60% of his nuts and calls it “spreading the wealth around.”

  143. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#130): Who wouldn’t?

  144. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#132): You’re saying — he’s a wizard?!

    Or are wizards the ones who get soggy and hard to light?

    Damn! It’s hard keeping all this straight.

  145. aprilglaspie
    February 28th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    I think Nola thinks she’s John Galt.

  146. Poteet
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @DoubtingApostle (#6): Yeah. I can still warble the lyrics to a
    lot of songs from that musical, including the druthers song, which is another reason there isn’t enough room in my brain to retain actual useful information.

  147. commodorejohn
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    6Chix – Is it a mullet? Or is it meant to be long hair, in the Furry Female Mane tradition? If the squirrel is a girl, does she have other humanoid characteristics? Are the acorns artistically placed for this very reason? …okay, I’m thinking way too much about this.

    Agnes – See, if you look like that all the time, nobody will notice when it’s by accident!

    A3G – Wait, original Star Trek tricorders can place calls? What was the point of the communicators, then?

    Blondie – Oh, Norton, eh?

    Curtis – Wow. Call the Darwin Awards, we’ve got some nominees here.

    DT – “Locher Auditorium?” Don’t sweat it. The impossible angles and passages that converge on themselves should keep Mole busy long enough for you to get there and calm him down.

    H&L – I just gave up reading the news. It’s done wonders for my blood pressure, and I know so many junkies that the important stuff filters through anyway.

    HOTC – And somewhere in a shadowy chamber beneath Skywalker Ranch, Lucas cackles to himself.

    JP – “Well, gee! I knew she was lying about knowing my acquaintance, and I knew she was lying about being an attorney, but using a fake driver’s license? Is there no depth to which she won’t sink?”

    Lola – “About to sin…” “…foot-long chili cheese dog?” CUT AWAY! CUT AWAY!!!

    Luann – The beautiful thing about this plan is, it relies on anybody actually liking Gunther. The carnage will be even more satisfactory as a result.

    MW – I am loving this storyline. In a very hands-off, suitably-protected way.

    Popeye – Trying to follow the plot in Popeye is like trying to read a story written by a random-sentence generator..

    PC – Hey, given my druthers, I’d go with the bunny…

    PBS – Win.

    Pluggers – Pluggers’ scrap value outperforms their own net worth.

    SF – At least he’s honest.

    SM – Yay! Again! Again!

  148. Anachrosaurus
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#56):
    “That guy sure looks like plant food to me…”
    The gas scene always reminded me disturbingly of “Blue Velvet”

  149. Anachrosaurus
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Is that a kerosene lamp? (Just how old are these reruns, anyway?)

  150. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#140): Well, at least that got rid of that damn Whitney Houston earbug I’ve been suffering from.

  151. Bootsy
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#86): sez

    So, isn’t “I’d druther” hillbilletymologically improper? Shouldn’t it be “I druther”?

    No, it’s “Ah druther”. Yer welcome!

  152. IHateMowing
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    6Chix: “My backup plan? How about the couple thousand or so birdfeeders scattered all over town… especially the squirrel proof ones! HAHAHAHAHA!”

  153. Nary Worth
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#52):

    9CL: I don;t care what anyone else thinks, Brooke can do this every day, as far as I am concerned.

    Just as well, because it looks like he’s going to end up doing exactly that.

  154. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @IHateMowing (#152): “Squirrelproof.” HEEheeheehee!

  155. tallyHO
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Mw: Did anyone ever comment on the fact that it took an entire week for Nola and Prez to walk down the hallway? By the time they got to the end of that hallway, a week had passed and Mary was getting ready for their rescheduled lunch

    6Chix: “Where’s “your backup”?

    Is this about hi-technology? Is that multi-squirrelionaire Squirrel Gates or is that Mark Nutskerburg?

    If it isn’t about hi-tech or about being a pennywise, then is he using the acorns to defend his tree hole? It looks like he’s been lobbing the nuts at some unseen enemy on the ground. As we can tell, the blue bird of happiness is saddened by tree dweller’s dementia.

    That is sad.
    _______________________________________________________________
    BG(MIA)/SS(Indoofuspendent)-
    The shriveled whale in the first panel is funny-looking but the boat is hilarious.
    It looks like they stole a pig trough and are using it to go fishin’.

    Me: Snuffy, what are you sniffin’ today, you tongue-lollying ne’re-do-well?

    Snuffy: “Whys Iza highzy kighza cuzza Iza sniffadeglue!”

  156. Ian Beste
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#89): Thank you, a true beggar’s banquet of awesome.

  157. Shrug
    February 28th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @IHateMowing (#152):

    The problem is that HAMMY THE SQUIRREL is likely to be reading this, and will just take it as a challenge.

  158. Poteet
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

  159. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#147): I don’t read Lola. I read your comment on Lola. I read Lola. I wish I hadn’t read Lola, but as least I know what happened to that showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there…

  160. Hibbleton
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    6C: I can’t help but think that bird is a young Shulock facing a smarmy, Trump-like prick early in her career.

  161. tallyHO
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Mr. Dithers is a stone cold luddite.

    Beetle: In the Next Exciting Episode, watch as Sarge volunteers to be tied to the torture rack so he can become 9 feet tall. Elsewhere, Snuffy is asnortin’ cuz that’s the hard way o’ gettin’ that tall!

    Garfield: In a half-hearted attempt at approaching political humor, Team Garfield pulls back so as not to offend their sheltered readers’ sensitivity to reality.

    Curtis: My that is a small strip. It is like a Sunday Gasoline Alley. The difference being: Curtis is 2 Legit to Quit. I’m guessing the remaining week’s strips will feature Curtis running to the instrumental portion of the song “Shaft”. On second thought, maybe I will do that out as an excuse to get some daily exercise.

    Lockhorns: In other words, this how I say I loooove you, you scheming harpy!

    Popeye: Next up, Popeye and Olive regale the Big Nosed Galumphs with a rousing sea shanty from that bellbottomed band, the Velvet Underground, as they sing “I’ll Be Your Mirror.” I can’t wait to see Wimpy working the squeezebox!

    Slylock Fox: What? A day off from adding a page to the Primer on “Species-ial Profiling for Kids”?

  162. Little Guy
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    PBS: Friend and I went back and forth how our respective favorite team would get beat in the Super Bowl. One of us was correct, but it was a win-win situation in expectation.

    Unfortunately, Pastis, that means you’ll shank it wide right.

    Luann: My twist would be the bully showing up and saying, “You know, shaming crowd, I’m going to beat the crap out of this wimp, and I don’t care if you think I’m a jerk, because that is who I am, and I am *proud* to be a bully!” The crowd, shamed themselves, joins in a Shirley Jacksonesque beatdown of Gunther.

  163. Baka Gaijin
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#162): Oh please oh please oh please let this happen to Gunther. Please?

  164. B
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    On the other hand, squirrels perform an important function by burying and forgetting about seeds thus helping plant new trees but are rodents, while bluebirds just look pretty. So, of course, humans will set up feeders to keep the bluebirds alive but deliberately sabotage access to them for the squirrels because that’s basically America in a nutshell.

  165. pugfuggly
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @aprilglaspie (#145):

    I think Nola thinks she’s John Galt.

    Oh Jesus, if she starts explaining her views on objectivism, this dinner is going to last until August…

  166. nescio
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Mysterious disappearances in B.C. today:

    1) In the middle panel, the walls disappear.
    2) In the third panel, the son disappears (and the father appears).
    3) In all three panels, four of the ants’ legs have disappeared.
    4) In making a cell phone joke, the concept of the strip has disappeared.

    Apparently the punchline didn’t disappear because it was too lame.

  167. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @B (#164): Bluebirds stand at feeders and munch the seeds in them, spilling them all over the ground (thank you, Onan), so they’re doing a lot to put in lots of those irksome ‘volunteer’ seedlings that make mowing the lawn so exciting for some of us.

  168. Ride dem haunches
    February 28th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#144): From Muffaroo’s last Illuminating reoport, #139, I would guess that he’s soggy and hard to light right now.

  169. Shrug
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#167):

    Which calls to mind the great cartoon (was it in THE REALIST ?) of one Bedouiny-looking fellow waving a book in his hand and running excitedly up to another, crying “Hey, Onan! Look! YOU MADE THE BIBLE!!!”

  170. tb4000
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    OBH: It took me a few seconds to get who Ruthie was trying to imitate, but it was hilariously un-P.C.

  171. Cyranetta
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: I admit to be puzzled as to just what Nola is getting out of this interaction. For Mary, sure, meddling is her raison d’etre, so it doesn’t really matter if it’s sandwich problem for Wilbur or a kidnapped child. What can Mary provide Nola — certainly not the next rung of the corporate ladder?

  172. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#167): So. It has come to this. You have a bluebird named Onan. Oh what fresh hell…

  173. seismic-2
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#172): A bird in the hand is worth…
    Yes, you’re right. It has come to that.

  174. littlestevie
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    JP: Fake I.D.? Thats not the only fake thing about Monique. Did you boys happen to notice her garbonzos? No, I didn’t think you did.

  175. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    February 28th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#157):
    I USED TO RAID BIRD FEEDERS UNTIL I GOT ON ONE OF THESE!!
    AFTER THAT I SWORE OFF BIRD FEEDERS!!!

    have you ever had your nuts scrambled

  176. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#5):

    A3G: “Nah, Tommie’s drowning a brown snake. Give’er a minute. She’ll be right out.”

    aka “Launching a sewer pickle”……

  177. Sequitur
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#176): aka “Choking the porcelain pony”

  178. Jason1981
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    S-M: In the words of the original red ranger, ….”YEAH!! ZAP HIM AGAIN!!!”

    Curtis: This won’t end well…because Gunk, Curtis, and the rest of the strip’s characters will still be alive.

  179. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Viz comics once did a one-pager called “Doctor Poolittle” (“He talks to the animals — about constipation!”) from which I picked up the memorable expression “throttling a Mars bar.” In much the same way, a strip they did another time called “Doctor Poo” introduced me to such lovely ways of saying Gotta Go NOW as “Hurry, you bastard! I’ve got the turtle’s head! … I think I’m touching cloth!”

  180. Poteet
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @B (#164): I must beg to differ slightly. Squirrels do indeed plant new woodlands, but bluebirds and other migratory songbirds eat billions of insects and feed them to their young, which is also beneficial. As for that bird in SIX CHIX, it is a strange species indeed, with only slight resemblance to a bluebird or bluejay, and I wish it well as it seeks a mate.

  181. odinthor
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#173):

    But . . . think of the consequences!

  182. Droopy Says
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#169): Wasn’t the original title of Robert Howard’s book “Onan the Barbarian”?

    Frog Applause: http://www.gocomics.com/frogapplause — oh good grief!

  183. Alison
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Do Knute and TJ share the same disease, which makes it physically impossible to show anything but a big, stupid, smug grin on their faces? I don’t recall either of them NOT smiling, no matter what the situation. Gunther has spent the last three weeks telling Knute (supposedly his friend) about how he’s going to get beat up, and Knute hasn’t lost his smile once.

    As for Ziggy, this is the first time I can remember that the moral of the strip is not “Life sucks donkey balls, everybody hates you, and you might as well kill yourself”, so that’s something.

  184. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G Scott’s in luck. He called “Abigail” to discuss appropriate prenatal care and strategies to persuade Nina to be more responsible as an expectant mother. Instead he got Tommie and Margo, who will stage an intervention – an intervention that will involve kidnapping Nina and confining her for the rest of her pregnancy in a barn at LuAnn’s family farm with “Aunt” Ruby and Crazy Janey for company.
    No? Well, a guy can dream, can’t he?

    FW Risk of what? Oh, oh, oh! I bet Butch and Coach Anal wind up doin’ it!

    MT I am so disappointed in Jamey. I would never call a dog stupid. Mainly because my dog often tricks me out of my seat on the sofa.

    MW Those eyes! In my imagination, Nola is getting ready to pounce across the table and bite Mary’s face. Because she could.
    And what’s with that eyebrow? Does Nola have a prehensile eyebrow, too?

  185. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    February 28th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#155): Mw: Did anyone ever comment on the fact that it took an entire week for Nola and Prez to walk down the hallway? By the time they got to the end of that hallway, a week had passed…

    Just try to imagine what the sex must be like. Coitus molasses.

  186. kc
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Lukey is probably referring to the dense leukemia cluster that has erupted in Hootin’ Holler as a result of generations of inbreeding combined with their proximity to abandoned nickel mines and tanneries, whose owners–knowing the limits of our tongue-lolling protagonists, perhaps because Barney Google owns them–simply up and left when the business dried up, leaving massive toxic waste dumps to seep leisurely into the groundwater. Explains Lukey, “Despite our denial that refrigeration is possible, I’d rather eat Elviney’s maggot-infested, week-old meatloaf than lay waste to my bone marrow by eating these visibly contaminated fish! Shucks, I wish I could read, though.”

  187. Gringo
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Did you know that “druthers” … is actually a contraction of “I’d rather”?

    I druther know why the water level has dropped precipitously between panels 1 and 2 of Snuffy. Look at the water’s surface in relation to the boat. In panel 1 it’s nearly up to the gunwales. In panel 2 the water looks like it’s drained away, leaving more of the boat visible. Is this symptomatic of that global warming we keeping hearing about? Has climate change come to Hootin’ Holler?!

  188. yaoi huntress earth
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @rembrandt36 (#54): I might too, if it weren’t for the fact that Edda is pretty much based on Brooke’s daughter.

  189. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#188): Anybody have a real picture of Brooke’s daughter? I mean, for comparison reasons…

  190. Reeseman
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    6Chix – When did squirrels start wearing ducktails? If that squirrel grew some sideburns he could play Vegas, in a litlle white sparkly jumpsuit. Now that’s a backup plan! Hey, maybe the bird can SING backup.

  191. commodorejohn
    February 28th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#189): I can’t remember the link, but she does have a website. The only thing she really has in common with Edda is that they’re both terrifying, but for rather different reasons.

  192. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS I still don’t get it, and I was hoping that somebody would explain by now. If Lukey has gone fishing with Snuffy, because he doesn’t want to eat leftovers, why isn’t he fishing, himself? Does he expect Snuffy just to share half the catch, while he finishes Amy Tan’s latest?

  193. SideshowJon
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t invest in Gold? I call Shenanigans on that! Who do you think G. Gordon Liddy is screaming at in those Gold Line Commercials, Ms. Gail Durant of Manchester, NH.?!

    Imagine, a French-named New Englander telling us what a Plugger does or doesn’t do!

  194. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @SideshowJon (#193): Who is this “French named New Englander” you speak of? Serious.

  195. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @SideshowJon (#193): Oh, the submitter! I thought you were talking about Brookins.

  196. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#192): Oh, dear. Saving Fish from Drowning is not Amy Tan’s latest. I am SO behind on my reading. Need to go fishing, I guess.

  197. Mr. Satanism
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    Don’t try to be positive, Ziggy. It doesn’t suit you.

  198. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann: When I was in high school, I hung with a small circle of fellow misfits. We weren’t trouble makers in any sense of the word (witness our run-in with the police at 2:00 in the morning), but the very rare time one of us got into a fight (always instigated by an outside antagonist), our rule was quite strict: we were not to take any active role in the dispute, other than to make sure that the fight remained fair, and that nobody else got involved.

    The one thing we would never, never to come to our friend’s aid. To our minds, that would have been dishonourable. We’d stop anyone else from coming to the other guy’s aid, but we wouldn’t actively interfere ourselves unless something really, really bad was going down (which, fortunately, never happened).

    So you can imagine with how much disgust I hold this present story line, in which Gunther first of all initiates a passive-aggressive attack, then wimps out on actual confrontation, and now is counting on having a crowd of people come to his defence. I have no idea what values Evans is trying to promote, but if our teenaged selves had known him, I think we’d have treated him as some kind of loathsome slug — the kind you don’t even want to touch. We’d certainly have held him in lower contempt than the bullies.

  199. Jamus The Bartender
    February 28th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Averytown Episcopalean Church Bulletin
    Upcoming Events : The “Straight Up Buddies For Jesus” men’s club is planning an outing to Pitts Junior/Senior High school to support Straight Up Buddy Gunther Berger in his conflict with some guy named Leslie, and to keep him from getting smeared all over the cafeteria. Lunch at Goldberg’s Bar and Grill to follow.
    The Ladies Auxilary is planning an outing to Charterstone to help L.A. Vice President Mary Worth in her effort to change the adulterous ways of her friend Nola, who seems to borrow from the book of Jezebel in getting ahead in the business world, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. See L.A. President Lois Flagston for details.
    At 9pm after Saturday folk services, we’ve got special guest Edda Burber, professional ballerina and spokesmodel for Nicolette Cignet lingerie. There will be a Q and A and autograph session in the church basement. Drinks and refreshments will be provided by Goldberg’s Bar and Grill.
    Finally, church yearbook photographer Peter Parker, alias The Amazing Spider-Man and his wife Mary Jane are away on a trip to Asgard to try and help their friends The Mighty Thor and his brother Loki settle some differences between them. Even though Thor and Loki are not members of our church, we ask that you remember them in prayer. There are currently no outings planned for Asgard, as it is too far away.
    God Bless Us,
    Rev. Linus Van Pelt
    Cassandra Cat, Church Secretary

  200. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#199): I hope the term is not overused: effulgent.

  201. commodorejohn
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): Evans isn’t trying to promote any value other than “you should all like Gunther because he stood up for Rosa, in a really weenie sense, but now he’s trying to avoid the natural consequences of his intervention, and you should like him for that, too, because if you squint at it just right it’s kind of vaguely like passive resistance, except not, WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE LOVE GUNTHER ALREADY HE’S A NICE GUY™!!!!!!!!!

    Or something like that.

  202. Jamus The Bartender
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#200): I had to look that one up. And thank you.

  203. Peanut Gallery
    February 28th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#192): Lukey is sincere in his druthering. In fact, he’s reaching new heights of… um, Druthering Heights… no, never mind, it’s not worth trying to make that work. I’ll start again.

    Elviney (presumably Lukey’s wife) wants them (Elviney and Lukey) to have fish for supper. Lukey would prefer to eat leftover meatloaf, but dares not argue with her. So he accompanies Snuffy on the fishing trip, ostensibly to catch the fish for supper, but does not actually fish, thus ensuring he will come home empty-handed and, with insincere expressions of regret, be permitted to enjoy that fine, fine meatloaf. Oh, what a tangled web etc.

    And thus we conclude that the Smirchster is unmarried. ;-)

  204. Zerowolf
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    FC: If it’s running around bare-assed there might be an opening over at Love Is….

  205. The Ridger
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#192): He doesn’t want any fish. He wants to go home and tell … Elviney, is it? … that he didn’t catch anything. Apparently he believes that if he did catch anything he would have to take it home and then eat it, instead of being able to sell it, or give it to Snuffy, or just release it again. It’s peculiar. But then, so is he. So in fact are they all.

  206. The Ridger
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#203): Sigh… Must remember to refresh the page before commenting.

  207. Calico
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    It’s not a portal-shadow radiating doom, it’s the shadow of Ziggy himself.

  208. A Smirch Unheeded
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#203): @The Ridger (#205): Thanks. You are right. For some reason, that obvious interpretation escaped me. (Please don’t tell Mrs. Unheeded!)

  209. Robin Stinson
    February 28th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#64): I can’t believe I figured this out, but the “52″ is referencing the strip’s 52nd anniversary tomorrow; Jeff must have forgotten that the strip started on a Leap Day.

  210. seismic-2
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Jan Berenstain, the female half of the husband-and-wife cartoonist duo who created the wildly successful series of “Berenstain Bears” illustrated story books for kids, died on Feb. 24 at age 88. (Her husband, Stan, died in 2005 at age 82.) The books all star the same family of bears: the 3 kids, Mama Bear in her kerchief and polka-dot dress, and Papa Bear in his overalls. In her obituary today, Papa Bear is described as “a wimp so passive and fumbling he makes Dagwood Bunstead look like Batman.” The obituary also passes along this fascinating tidbit: “They chose to write about bears not because their last name offered a convenient alliteration, but because bears were easy to draw.”

  211. Trillian
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    Darkgate is still down for me :(. It is also down when I check downforeveryoneorjustme.com. I guess I must enjoy the comics second-hand through snark today.

  212. Uncle Lumpy
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#211):

    You can get a lot of them at The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Alas, they’ve dropped the Creator’s Syndicate comics (Archie, Wizard of Id, etc.) “because of pricing.”

  213. Liam
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-are in danger of having their fillings stolen by paramedics and morticians.

  214. Uncle Lumpy
    February 28th, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @Robin Stinson (#209):

    Jeff must have forgotten that the strip started on a Leap Day.

    So the strip is really only 13?

  215. Trillian
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#212): Thanks, Uncle Lumpy!

    H&L: I don’t think they put Hi’s hand back on properly in the second panel.

  216. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Even Plugger waitresses are depressed by the sight of doggie dentures.

    RMMD: So that’s at least two asses that Mabel can kiss if she thinks she’s getting any help on Foster’s medical bills.

    SFx: Be sure to get your pet spayed or neutered, or else your cat will spend the whole day trying to hump the fridge.

    Luann: Gunther refuses to dumb down his cafeteria chants for the average beefwit. Sounds familiar.

    MT: Butchy was a dog who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn’t last.

    Marvin: Marvin’s future’s not so bright, but he’s still gotta wear shades.

    S-M: Somehow it feels like today’s installment should have a Bob Saget voice-over.

  217. Eldaglass
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: I’d feel bad for the bluebird, but I can’t process any emotion because my brain is busy screaming: SQUIRREL TOUPEE!!! SQUIRREL TOUPEE!!!

  218. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198):

    I have no idea what values Evans is trying to promote, but if our teenaged selves had known him, I think we’d have treated him as some kind of loathsome slug — the kind you don’t even want to touch.

    Feel free to try pouring salt on his head.

  219. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    @Trillian (#211): It’s still down for me, too. The question is, why is Unheeded managing to get it?

  220. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#96): I loved that “Medium Large”.

  221. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 29th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @Ride dem haunches (#137):

    Midwife Crisis on Earth-One and Earth-Two? Double ouch.

  222. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 29th, 2012 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#220): Me too. Four panels, all gems.

  223. odinthor
    February 29th, 2012 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#219):

    And still down for me as well, even after the fabled odinthor sleep, when none dare disturb me. If this Darkgate down affair continues tomorrow, it’s back to the old “git a little bit here, git a little bit there” technique (easily confused with my dating philosophy).

  224. Nil Zed
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    I was looking through the merchandise, then reminiscing through the explanations, and ended up at the Gail Martin Wiki .

    Boy, I miss Dingo.

  225. Backup
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    FW: Appendicitis. Calling it right now.

  226. Sgt. Stoned
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smif: Point of grammar: In panel 2, Lukey’s comment should be written “I’druther”….instead of “I’d druther”. The two “ds” are redundant.

    MW: Nola…more awesome than Jill ever was!!

  227. Comcis Fan
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    Mary is morphing from meddler to high priestess, taking confession from the proudly unrepentant. And Nola apparently confused “Hail Marys” with “Hey, Marys!” Hey Mary! I bedded a married man! Hey Mary! I bore false witness against my company’s vice president, ruined his life and took his job!

  228. Poteet
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    2/29

    MT — It’s an impossible dream, but how I wish Sunday Pontificating Mark would give a lecture on responsible dog ownership that would make Weekday Weird Mark and his buddy Weird Tommy look like the irresponsible jerks they are.

    MW — Nola, you and Charley were MADE for each other. Your different but compatible versions of cheery evil, once combined, would blow Charterstone apart and elevate CC joy to a level that has seldom been seen, apart from the wonderful possibility of sending Mary into a horror-induced coma.

  229. Lisa
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    The proper rendition is “I druther”.

  230. Comcis Fan
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    @Backup (#225): Or pregnancy (nah.) Or Darin’s flu bug. Or, you know what they all eventually get in Westview.

  231. Comcis Fan
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#226):

    Nola probably seduced Jill’s fiance behind the altar.

  232. Poteet
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    A3G — As someone who is childless and ignorant, I’m looking forward to this exciting lesson in modern birth protocol. When possible contractions start, first you tell your husband to phone your midwife’s apartment and ask her to come on over to your place…

  233. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Phantom — Señor Tiger’s henchman forgot the first rule of Chinese Fight Club: you do not talk about Chinese Fight Club. With anyone.

  234. DarkAudit
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    FW: Just pull the bus up to the county morgue loading dock.

  235. Sgt. Stoned
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#231): And the priest too!

  236. greghousesgf
    February 29th, 2012 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#161): Better the Velvet Underground than Wilco.

  237. Bill the Butcher
    February 29th, 2012 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    Your commentary on Ziggy has put the plot of a horror story in my head. if I get around to writing it, you are to blame, Josh Fruhlinger.

    I mean to say, damn you, sir.

  238. Bill the Butcher
    February 29th, 2012 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): I don’t know that Evans actually has values. All he’s doing is squeezing every last drop out of every last story as long as he doesn’t have to come to a conclusion. Because he can’t do conclusions worth a damn, which is why he keeps going back to deux es machinas to pull his coals out of the fire.

    I’ve stopped checking that strip regularly, so I have no idea what’s going on there. More of the same, I assume.

  239. Calico
    February 29th, 2012 at 4:29 am [Reply]

    @Nil Zed (#224):
    I second that emotion.

  240. Droopy Says
    February 29th, 2012 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: So far Thor’s creativity has been limited to dumb explanations of why MJ is really Sif. So is Spiderman really going to listen when Thor suggests turning Spiderman into a human lawn dart? Probably, because listening is about seven of the ten most common actions in this strip.

    EffYou Wankerbeat: So the Specialest Snowflake has developed a new special skill: catching the disease which will blow the game along with her lunch. It can only get better if she infects the whole team, turning their on-court performance into a display of synchronized spewing.

    Mock Trail: The pathetic thing here is that Butch is searching harder than his owner or that alleged outdoors genius Trail. Shouldn’t Trail, as the strip’s titular hero, use his alleged outdoors skills to track and find the dog? Or has he turned into Spiderman, too excited at the prospect of watching Steve’s movie to get up an do something?

  241. John C Fremont
    February 29th, 2012 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    ZtP – One of the few impersonations I did continuously as a kid was Deputy Dawg’s laugh. Despite this, I had friends.

  242. Little Guy
    February 29th, 2012 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Backup (#225): It’s Meta. She read both “Lisa’s Story” AND “Granny OSI Spy” on the bus trip.

  243. Ed Dravecky
    February 29th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    The new phone books are comics post is here!

  244. Vince M
    February 29th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#179): One of the (fairly few) high points for me in the movie “Rat Race” was when Jon Lovitz is speeding through the desert and his daughter is begging him to make a rest stop, saying “I’m prarie-dogging!” He replies “What does that me – oh my god, that’s DISGUSTING!”

  245. Vince M
    February 29th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Vince M (#244): Whoops, that’s “PRAIRIE-dogging”. And from a born and bred Kansan! Sorry, Poteet…

  246. Dale
    February 29th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#232):

    Your comment confuses me. The plan makes more sense than “boil some water.”
    Deeper thinking leads me to: the midwife should come over, not her apartment.

  247. Edwin Herdman
    February 29th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Actually, that’s Ziggy casting the shadow.

    So the door must be the vampire.

  248. Mumbly Joe
    February 29th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#75): So, more like the characters of Mark Trail, in other words?

    I mean, this is a pretty low bar I’m applying here; saying Mark Trail’s more likely to survive a Total Collapse of Society ™ than Pluggers are is like saying that Mary Worth is a more capable crime-fighter than Spiderman.

  249. Matt McIrvin
    March 1st, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#134): Besides, why would I take this kind of advice from Ziggy? He usually slouches through life with a beaten-down expression on his face, dealing with minor indignities and observing things that are supposedly absurd. He’s not a promising source of consolation or inspiration.

  250. Matt McIrvin
    March 1st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#210): Actually, Papa Bear gets a bad rap in reviews of the Berenstain Bears books. Even in the classic books before the series gradually slid into Christian apologetics, he’s a competent craftsman and successful small businessman, and a basically responsible guy, in keeping with the generally traditional gender roles in the stories. He does occasionally lapse into unreflective man-child behavior, and he tends to be the focus of slapstick humor when it happens. But when it comes to laziness, incompetence and submission, he’s nowhere near the level of Dagwood, let alone Homer Simpson.

  251. J Neo Marvin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    I think “druthers” was actually first coined by Al Capp in Li’l Abner.

  252. J Neo Marvin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Well, apparently it’s older than that. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/194850.html

  253. gnbman
    March 21st, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Since when do blue birds have nipples and belly buttons?!

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