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Clowder of TERROR

Curtis, 3/2/12

Wow, so this is the moment when Gunk’s Flyspeck Island powers go from irritating to terrifying. “Have you ever seen dozens of feral cats devour a human being before, Curtis? They aren’t fast and mindless like piraña. The whole process is quite messy, but, ultimately, very thorough. We needn’t stick around for the entire thing.”

Apartment 3-G, 3/2/12

God damn it, Nina, you’ve made it quite clear to anyone who would listen that you don’t really care that much about having a baby, so when are you going to start caring about having a baby? Look at the way you’re dressed! Is that collar supposed to be ironic? Your baby won’t appreciate your hipster New York affectations when s/he’s an adult and looking at pictures of you when you’re pregnant! You’re dressing for two, now, so get used to us not caring about your opinions!

Gil Thorp, 3/2/12

Oh, thank God, Gil’s latest dumb moral crusade has finally hit the point where he gets to make a principled moral stand that achieves nothing other than irritating everybody and screwing up a potential championship. This is pretty much what he lives for, so presumably we’ve just hit the season’s climax. Personally, I’m more interested in those sheets of loose-leaf paper that seem to be giving Marty Moon his half-assed inside scoop. I’m guessing they’re what Marty gets when he demands “a printout of some of those internet blogs with the rumors” from whatever poor journalism student at the local community college drew the short straw and has to serve as his intern this semester.

Wizard of Id, 3/2/12

Ha ha, the drunken court jester used to have a dog that he loved, but now it’s dead! It’s his heartbreaking sigh in the first panel that really sells the hilarity here.

230 responses to “Clowder of TERROR”

  1. Stickerz
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Nola let her guard down and asked a rhetorical question, Mary Worth has the chink in the armor she needed

  2. Pozzo
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    “Where’d all these cats come from?” “Well, as near as historians can tell, they were first domesticated in Egypt in…AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!”

  3. jvwalt
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh my God, Nina, look out! A giant freak hand is going to steal your baby!!

    Seriously, look at the size of that thing. It’s bigger than her head.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: You’re six months pregnant with your first baby–at this point in your life everything is meaningful! You should try talking about your baby in every damn sentence at every damn opportunity. It isn’t tedious at all.

  5. pugfuggly
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    A3G Is it me, or does it seem like both Tommie and Nina and talking through invisible sock puppets…?

    MT After trying his ears, eyes and toes, Butch uses his NOSE to find a familiar scent. Good work dog.

    Also, if that speech balloon from the previous panel is any indication, you’re headed in the wrong direction…

    MW Oh god, here it comes… “I’m only a vile sex-crazed sociopath because I was poor when I was young and the other kids made fun of me. Oh, if only some old biddy would tell me some of her stories of being vulnerable and then spout tired adages at me over pie and tea, why I’d probably become a better person overnight. If only that were possible somehow….!”

  6. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Curtis-The moral of the story is “Don’t piss off Gunk or he will send an army of animals to horribly kill you.”

    Marvin-You need Slylock Fox to help you solve this problem. He will find a clue no matter how small and inane to prove that Marvin ate the cookies. Since this is “Marvin” Slylock will probably examine his poop for clues.

    A3G-Just by pointing her finger at Nina, Tommie is able to determine that the contractions are mild. “My magic finger says that you are doing well.”

    MW-”Don’t be so shocked, Mary. Do you remember Aldo? I know that you had him killed.”

  7. Mibbitmaker
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    WoI: Tom Batiuk: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!”

    A3G: “Having my baby is good news to me, Tommie. Yep. Good ol’ meaningless news. The whole thing, just…. meaningless. No! Damn! Reason! AT ALL KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT KILLLLL IIIIIIT!!!!!”

    Curtis: With Gunk, there’s a fine line between self-defense and vicious murder. Just the thing you’d expect from someone who comes from a place where they arrange child marriages.

    WoI: Tom Batiuk (continued): “HAHAHA!!! …Get it? Get it?! ‘Playing’ DEAD! Dead? HAHAHAHAHAplaying deadHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!”

  8. Hibbleton
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Although I admire Bolle’s ground breaking use of non-euclidean geometry in A3G, by all accounts in panel 2 Nina is about 7′ 6″ with a freakishly long neck and arms long enough to dunk sitting down.

  9. Lolsworth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Did Frank Bolle just suddenly forget how to draw? I mean, he’s not Barry Windsor Smith, but he’s usually better than this. It looks like a nightmarish vision of downtime at a thalidomide convention.

  10. anon
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    9CL:………………….OH-OH……………………speaking of pregnant……………OH-OH

  11. vanya
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#275): How do women get pregnant in 9CL when they never have actual sex? As far as I can tell they either do intricate finger dances or imagine copulation in the rarified world of 1940s dream sequences. Maybe I’m rusty on biology, but I don’t think you can conceive that way.

  12. ashley
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    9CL: looks like edda is pregnant!

  13. Ed Dravecky
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    All these confessions, all this pent up meddling… What Nola want is Mary’s head to explode, Scanners-style and she always gets what she wants!

  14. S. Stout
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Luann: This strip lives in a bizarro world where students break up fights and stick up for smaller kids. Some kid out there will think this works in real life and get beat up in the cafeteria with everyone chanting “Fight! Fight!”.

    Also…Rosa, Gunther did not win. Not getting beat up because the whole student body feels sorry for you is never winning, it’s just really, really sad.

  15. CanuckDownSouth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    The only good thing about this week’s Luann is that Gunther didn’t actually get up on a table to denounce bullying. FOOB’s still the all-time winner for Most Unrealistic Anti-Bullying Denouement.

  16. Chyron HR
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    “So it was all meaningless, right?”

    Everyone else is ragging on Frank Bolle for drawing Nina spontaneously morphing into a hideous monkey-woman, but I think Margaret Shulock also deserves kudos for perfectly encapsulating the alpha and omega of A3G into half a panel.

  17. Flummoxicated
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Wow, I didn’t think it was possible, but today’s Wizard of Id has surpassed Funky Winkerbean for most depressing comic strip ever.

  18. Little Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Luann: *repeatedly hits head on wall*

    GT: Milford High, you get the idiot coach you deserve.

    Curtis: Centric’s first SF Original Movie, with Jaleel White and Tamara Gray.

  19. H.P. Lovecraft
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    My works may be public domain, Billingsley, but I’ll be triple-damned if I let some comics page hack plunder my work. Too bad I’ll have to take whole damn world down with you…

    Y’AI’NG’NGAH
    YOG-SOTHOTH
    H’EE-L’GEB
    F’AI THRODOG
    UAAAH

  20. laila
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh, I get it. We’re in the Mirror Universe, right? That’d explain not only Leslie’s evil goatee but also that the watching students seem to think beating up a kid who all but pinned a ‘kick me’ label to his own backside is somehow shameful. We’ve just gotta give ‘em time to grow out of it, I guess.

  21. Cayuga
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: Why is Tommie dancing to Steve Martin’s “King Tut” in the hospital room?

  22. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    FW-I’m sorry Les but there is no Summer. She is a delusion you created to deal with the fact that you and Lisa couldn’t have a child. Just like the fact that Hollywood is making a movie of your book is a delusion because in reality it is a terrible terrible book and did not sell at all.

  23. Flonatin of Bologna
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    If Dennis is supposed to be the Menace, then how come it’s Margaret who’s trying to show everyone an animal’s junk?

  24. Little Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: Me nauseated too. This will mean the return of Monty the Milquetoast, the Impotent Omnipotent.

  25. Mibbitmaker
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

    Keeping up the modern comic strip tradition of badly portraying what technological playthings actually look like. Are those supposed to be typing keys or something???

  26. Monsieur Morón
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    SlFx: Why on earth would you want children drawing pictures of castrated rabbits pawing their huge, swinging cocks? I sure hope Mr. Weber has registered with the appropriate local authorities and notified his neighbors as to his “proclivities.”

  27. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Luann-Here is another person living in a delusional world. Gunther has retreated to a happy place while in reality he is getting the shit beaten out of him while that guy with the hat and glasses(I don’t care enough about this strip to learn his name) is making the moves on the woman Gunther wants to go out with.

  28. bats :[
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Piraña? Are they something like piñatas? Festive little fish that spew out candy?
    (I apologize if this really is an aspect of Curtis–I don’t follow it because Gunk gives me the willies.)

  29. pugfuggly
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#22):

    Ha! Now THAT would be a twist in the true spirit of Funky.

    Actually, I hope the whole strip ends like that: Les wanders the town in a daze watching his friends and family vanish before his eyes, until the point that the entire town simply disappears. He then realizes that he’s actually in an asylum, having gone insane after the death of Lisa. He lowers his head, and it fades to black. The End.

  30. Morndew
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#13):
    Oh! I want that too!!!! YES YES YES!!!

  31. Señor Tortilla
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Gunk marries children. Gunk has an army of cats viciously murder common street punks. Gunk is obviously evil, but apparently we’re not supposed to think so.

    FW: Yes, Les, maybe the team can win without Summer. Have you considered that possibility?

    9CL: I don’t know. If Edda is possibly pregnant, what about that ballerina chick the gay guy knocked up?

    Luann: This is not what happened. Leslie knocked out Gunther with one punch, and this all delusional. Points for Evans if this is what actually happened, revealed on Saturday.

  32. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    I’m tellin’ ya, someone is going to explode in Mary Worth.

  33. Little Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    BC: Also, HotC, as written by Batliuk.

  34. Little Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#31): Knowing this strip, it’s highly probable that Edda is carrying the ballerina chick’s kid.

  35. McManx
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Spiderman — So Spiderman was totally dependent on Thor’s Hammer to proceed. I always thought he was sort of a tool, but now we see even a real tool is more effective than Spiderman.

    Beetle Bailey — I’m sort of hoping for a “Curtis” crossover and that Otto will be torn apart by these cats.

    Mark Trail — The lost dog hears human voices in the distance and runs toward the sound… which would be right up the squirrel’s ass from which it emanated.

    Mary Worth — Mary has seemed really bewildered in these exchanges. But as if on the cue “most vulnerable” Mary’s going to shove her knifelike hand straight into Nola’s esophagus.

  36. Marc
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Luann- Ok kids, the moral of the story is that if you’re a passive aggressive weasel, who hits people when their backs are turned, and never accept consequences for your actions, all of your dreams will come true.

    Funky- Les is going to run down and stop force the game to be stopped and rescheduled because the shining star of the universe can’t play today.

    Mary Worth- Oh fuck, here come the flashbacks.

    A3G- Looks like Nina’s pregnancy is having unintended side effects. One of which being all of her bones dissolving.

    Mark Trail- If Butch is close enough to Tommy’s house for him to hear the talking, how did they not manage to find that damn dog during the couple hours they were allegedly looking for him?

    Cranky/Wizard of Id- Lot of talking to the dead going on in the comics pages today.

    Archie- Shouldn’t it be “Everyone else got ‘AN’ F”?

    Curtis- That one cat is feasting on “Thunk’s” eye. Maybe the blind thug can team up with a blind dog and they can use their noses to track scents and smash into trees.

  37. Horace Broon
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    JP: I briefly considered going back through the archives to remind myself what the hell was going on, but then I remembered I didn’t care.

    Luann: Yeah, sure, real kids wouldn’t react that way. Speaking as a former victim, wouldn’t it be great if they did, though? It’s a wish-fullfillment fantasy, and a nicer one than “And then the nerd somehow smashed the bully down, thereby totally destroying any point about how you shouldn’t use violence to get your way, the end” which is where I thought this was heading.

    I don’t buy that it’s sending a bad message to teens, since this presupposes that a) Real teens don’t know the realities of high school better than Evans, and b) Real teens read Luann.

    Marvin: Wait, shouldn’t the other baby also have an attorney?

    Pluggers Pluggers are old and fat. We know.

  38. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    9CW – Edda’s not pregnant. After three weeks of this crap, she’s finally caught up with the rest of us.

  39. Horace Broon
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Luann, addendum: Wow, I got so worked up on defending the story in principal, I forgot to aknowledge that yes, it’s quite appallingly written and it’s attempted moral is actually inconsistant on a number of points. Sorry about that.

  40. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Luann: No, Gunther/Evans, having your entire newspaper readership curse you to Hell and abandon your strip forever does not mean you “won”. Where are all the feral cats in the world, just when you need them most?

    FC: “We need Grandma to break the tie,” of course means “We need Grandma to break her hip,” so that in the resulting turmoil the Melonheads can do whatever they want, unnoticed.

    A3G: Tommie must be the world’s most incompetent nurse, to tell Nina that it’s good news when in fact she has medical history’s most rapidly developing onset of acromegaly and gigantism. By the second panel of tomorrow’s strip, Nina will have transformed into Sandy Allen.

  41. Happythoughtindeed
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MW: Have I missed something? When did Olive Oyl move over to Apt 3-G? And is this Popeye’s baby she’s carrying?? Poor Scott! I hope he saved the receipt for that teddy bear.

  42. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Some days you eat the dog, other days the dog eats you. Or something like that.

  43. Jessy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Gunk has always freaked me out. The Kwanzaa stories are as weird as I care to get, thanks.

    MW: Well, now we understand Nola. She was poor as a child . . . no wonder she’s a soulless sociopath!

  44. The Waz
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Luann: <Wayne’s World>Let’s do the Scooby Doo ending!</Wayne’s World>

  45. Dan
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Oh, Tommie. Your words say “everything’s fine.” But your hands say “You’re out of order! You’re out of order! The whole trial is out of order!”

  46. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    MW-Do you what it’s like growing up a poor black child, Mary?

  47. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    MT: Only in Mark Trail would the “local dog-loving thieves make off with 200 grand and hide out in the woods” story be merely a plot device to add suspense to the “will that old blind dog make it home in time for the documentary?” story.

    JP: Good call, Sam! Everyone knows that when you’re dealing with a dangerous assassin, involving the police is the worst thing you can do.

    SF: “I’m just afraid our lives are becoming boring. We need to do something new, something different!” In 30 years when Hilary and Faye are having this conversation, it will be followed by a) a visit to a swingers’ club, b) a long-distance call to Jon to invite him to “join them” for a few days, or c) pottery classes.

  48. blah
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    It’s kind of weird that Nina needed a stunt double just to bend her wrist like that.

  49. lynn
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    I’m just glad that I’m no longer the only one with a horrified fascination with ‘Curtis’. And may I point out that this is the first time that anyone in Billingsley’s little world, other than Curtis, has acknowledged the existence of Gunk, or as I now think of him, Willard.

    Also, Curtis, the correct time to have yelled “RUN!” would have been two days ago when the big guy let you go and turned his back on you to look at the cats.

  50. TheDiva
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    A3G: Six months? With a belly that size I would have guessed she’s halfway through her third trimester at least. Then again, tomorrow the artist will probably forget to put it in there at all.

    Curtis: Wow, the Warriors series just took a very disturbing turn.

    GT: “And in other news, my hopes for a good career in radio have been dashed by years of passing on high school rumors. I’m going to hang myself with the microphone cord right after these messages.”

    9CL: Did she say that, or did I?

    C’shaft: I can only assume that Cranky’s so happy because that “photo” of his wife(?) is actually her soul trapped in a hellish neither dimension and he never tires of tormenting her.

    FW: “Les, don’t you remember? Bull called on your cell to tell you Summer has the flu.”
    “….I don’t understand.”
    “What?”
    “How does that affect me? I want to watch Summer play basketball, so she should be out there!”
    “Les, will you listen for a moment?! Your only daughter is sick! She’s feverish and puking and in terrible agony right now!”
    “…Is this something I can get a book deal out of?”
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!”

    Luann: Greg Evans never actually went to high school, did he? He was homeschooled, probably in some isolated cabin or cave in the woods which prevented him from interacting with his peers or receiving information from the outside world? That’s the only way I can imagine he would find this development even remotely plausible.

    Marvin: Marvin prepares for his career in sexual assault.

    MW: “Why, just last week Tobey told me my salmon squares were a little dry, and just when I was so exhausted from single-handedly saving a poor kidnapped girl and…why are you grabbing that steak knife so fiercely, Nola?”

    SM: Even inanimate objects don’t want to hang around Spider-Man.

  51. cholling
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    A3G: Careful, Tommie. If you move too quick (oh way oh) you’ll fall down like a domino.

  52. Esther Blodgett
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    FW: “I don’t see Summer anywhere down there. She must be seriously ill or injured or dead. *snif* I’m so proud!”

    WoI: Nothin’ funnier than a drunk mourning the loss of his only friend. Nothin’.

    MW: Come on, Mary, tell Nola that she’s trying to hard. There’s no need to sleep AND lie your way to the top. One or the other is not only sufficient but more becoming to a lady.

  53. Johnny Knuckles
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: Clip art hand in 3rd panel was probably intended to rest on her belly, not her nipples. Still, it works for me.

  54. Esther Blodgett
    March 2nd, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Curtis: I don’t think this production of “The Kitty Genovese Story” has all the essential facts correct…

  55. Margaret
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    There is something deeply wrong with the hands in A3G. I can’t quite find the words to be funny, but anyone: Monty Python’s Find the Fish sketch from The Meaning of Life. Watch it, then try and tell me that they aren’t trying to find the fish.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlUu54muOs

  56. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I hope the Gil Thorp crew is reading today’s A3G. See, guys, that’s how you draw a freakishly large hand. I particularly like the way the wrist bends at an angle that would make Cousin It proud.

  57. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Whoops, I should have scrolled up during the “Preview”. Sorry!

  58. Higgs Boatswain
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Not sure what makes you assume the Wizard of Id’s drunken court jester (whose name, as you well know, is Bung) is tending the grave of a dog. Judging by the size of the mound beneath the tombstone, it looks like an awfully big grave for a pet, even one called Max. The bones he brings to the grave, for that matter, are longer than Bung’s own limbs. It all looks awfully suspicious. I suspect that the late Max may have been a victim of the king’s political purges, and Bung is attempting to propitiate his hungry ghost with a sacrificial offering of human bones. In short, it’s a benighted society overshadowed by terror and sudden, meaningless violence.

  59. twg
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: NINA A DISEMBODIED HAND IS TRYING TO CLAW INTO YOUR BABY BUMP

    Luann: Is that big dude related to the “HOOO” guy from Foob? Also, boo, no Gunther pounding :(

    JP: Yes, let’s go check on the would-be assassin! What a great idea! We should definitely not inform the cops first!

  60. Sparkle Plenty
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    MT: Now I’m worried there will be a crevasse between Butch and Tommy.

  61. Illustrator Steve
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    MT – The fact that blind-dog-Butch is OLD, BLIND, LOST, DISORIENTATED and CONFUSED, means that any second now he could keal over and die as quick as a Jackelrod story line.

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Frazz: I’m assuming that she isn’t talking about “What’s Opera, Doc” or “Duck Amok”.

    9CL: Brooke finally connects with his audience. (and yes, I’m guessing she’s knocked up, drama-blah-blah-blah.)

    Lio: it’s family time, indoors or out.

    NS: Wiley once more manages to take something that I agree with and make it clunky, unclever and unfunny.

    SF: I am thinking of SO many manga series that Hil and Faye could imitate about now. Sadly, I doubt that Ces could get away with putting most of them in the newspapers.

    SFx: guest-artist loves the classics. *applaz* Mr. Weber Jr., Babs Bunny wants her baby picture back.

  63. langostino
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Tommie shows her midwifery prowess as, in panel two, she changes the pregnant woman into a creepy fat man with bad hair and a silly blouse.

    Pregnancy solved!

  64. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    GT: Wait. Talking a friend into getting a tattoo gets you benched, but forging a permission slip doesn’t? Yeah, that sounds about right from my recollections of the hell that was high school.

    Cow and Boy: “Um … uh … a genetically modified super bear … um … ate the royal family? And … then stole the crown and now, it’s, like, roamin’ the streets of London goin’ ‘Who’s your king now?!!‘” — I just had to quote that, because that is full of awesome.

    9CL: Ah, I think I have it figured out. We’re finally reaching the “Edda pops out a kid” plot and McE has been frantically cranking out the Edda porn for the past few weeks to stock up for the period when she’s sporting a big, non-sexy-ballerina baby belly.

  65. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Luann: So, so, so very lame. And the non-ironic Luann fans at gocomics.com are all cheearing the “brilliant” Gunther. Really?

  66. Illustrator Steve
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT – Once the porno-film-maker-guy remembers he did a documentary about Little Orphan Annie’s dog he will inevitibly tell Mark and Tommy this trip has been a total waste of his precious time and they owe him for gas, tolls and lodging. (After all, gas, tolls and lodging are very costly in THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE!)

  67. Nary Worth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @The Waz (#44):

    Let’s do the Scooby Doo ending!

    “Now gang, let’s see who Les really was this whole time!”

    *removes “Les” mask*

    “Jinkies, it’s Aaron Hill!”

    “And I’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

  68. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    MT: Hey! Did anyone else realize that dog was blind!!?

  69. bats :[
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s for the best. Fitz McAscot was known in the film world as the Ed Wood of documentaries anyway…

  70. laila
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#65): There are non-ironic Luann fans?

  71. Bill the Butcher
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#65): They are? I’ve switched to strips that don’t make me wish I had hair so I could tear it out by the roots.

  72. Bill the Butcher
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @laila (#70): As I prefer to call them, worshippers of the Holy Church of Greg Evans, He Who Can Do No Wrong.

  73. Chyron HR
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#65): Gee, I hope they didn’t forget the true hero of this epic Luann arc: Enormous Bald Man-Child Who We’ve Never Seen Before.

  74. TheDiva
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#64): I thought Edda got knocked up because the ex-nun who’s name I can’t recall finally delivered and he needs someone else to channel his pregger fetish.

  75. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#69): Hee. And for a minute, I thought that you’d extended the dialogue balloon into the first panel so it would reach the squirrel’s butt—but then I checked the original, and it was already there.

  76. LP2004
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#68): The dog’s blind? Really?? You’d think it would have been mentioned in the strip before now.

  77. Tony
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    A3G: Why is Nina around 14 years old in panel one, and suddenly 37 years old in panel two?

  78. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    this graph says it all.

    Plumbers? This Princess don’t need no stinkin’ plumbers!

    lots of little somethings for Poteet.

    squea turtles.

    more otter faces for bats :[: wtf?!?

    The Daily Puppy is a mastiff that now weighs 184 pounds.

    corgsqui.

    hovercorgi.

    great lakes corgsqui. (from TC!)

  79. sporknpork
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    So if I get my hands on a douche and a tackle box, I could be midwife too?

  80. agony
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    As the owner of an old, much loved dog who is gradually going deaf and blind, I’m starting to really hate Mark and Tommy. I had to leave him in a kennel for a few days this week – safe, warm, fed and cared for – and even so he pined and fretted until I picked him up. The sight of Butch frantically searching the forest, bumping into trees, is getting my own Fist o’ Justice tingling, I tells ya.

  81. exapno
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Its been a throw up week in Comics Land!

    First Special Snowflake has been making calls to Ralph on the big white phone

    Now, Edda is doing the Morning Sickness Rag

    What’s next? Finding out that Dagwood has had a secret case of bulimia for the last 80 years – explaining how he eats all that food without gaining an ounce??

  82. Dood
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Nina looks like she’s ready to move to Hootin’ Holler.

  83. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Beetle: We NEVER see Otto speaking out loud…..WTF?????

    Crank: Asshole has ONE good inning and he gets into the hall of fame………Shiiiiiiiit….

    FW: “…………..but I DO see Dead Lisa Lisa Lisa down there!!”

    Luann: Nah. He’ll just pound your ass when no one’s around.

    Re-FOOB: Somehow, Elly got ahold of St. Michael’s book, “Stone Season”……and he hasn’t even hacked it out yet…

  84. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Today’s guest in Luann, Moose from Archie!

  85. Jasper
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    MT- Hears human voices in the distant? From that dialog balloon in panel two, the voices are in very close proximity.

    MW- Liar, hypocrite! Except for that brief depression stint Mary has led a pretty cushy life. College education, married star athlete who made a boatload of money that Mary inherited and though her substantial nest egg evaporated during the depression, it magically regained its value later. Never had to work a day in her life to sustain her existence. Thus all this spare time to meddle in the affairs of others.
    Which begs the question, why would the whoring slut Nola even be bother to talk to the old bag. She know’s what she wants and gets it. And Charterstone with the likes of Ian, Wilbur, Mary, salmon square infested pool parties- ugh. I’d pay whatever penalty to break lease and high tail it out of there.

  86. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Will Edda give birth to a giant cockroach? Or to a baby Amos? But I repeat myself.

  87. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#78): Thanks! I can feel my blood pressure going down.

  88. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Heh. Edda finally got a good look at Amos.

  89. bats :[
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Oh, yeah….TGIF!

  90. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    yesterday was an up-and-down day emotionally. The QG and I went to see the new Miyazaki movie, “The Secret World of Arrietty” which was AWESOME. We then had to go home and turn Tu’i back over to the QG’s folks. We’re missing the scruffy dog a lot. *sniffles*

  91. Roto13
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Gee, Nina, I’m not sure if people with Marfan Syndrome should reproduce that way.

  92. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I have a bad feeling that the Important Lesson we’re supposed to learn from this dimwit tale is that if a woman says she doesn’t want to have a baby, just get her preggers anyway and of course she’ll realize that she really does want a baby because all women do, really. Note how Nina remains perfectly calm when she hears the term “first baby,” emphasis on “first.” Yep, the magic process of joyous mommyhood is starting to really kick in! Soon we’ll see Nina’s freakishly huge hands busily knitting a baby cap while she hums a distorted lullaby.

  93. bbofun
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#5): It’s okay. If I know my MARK TRAIL that speech balloon is coming from a helpful, giant, talking goose.

    (Quick question- did i put the adjectives for the goose is the best possible order? Would “helpful, talking, giant” have been better? Did I need the commas? Honestly, I fretted over these things!)

    (I need a life.)

  94. ElkMeadow
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Whoa! 93 comments and no mention of Rex or June?

    I’m, uh, shocked!

  95. twg
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#92): Except Therese from FOOB, for she is evil, because Lynn said so.

  96. bbofun
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    And now, reading the strip and the comments, I realize it was a helpful talking squirrel butt. And here I was, thinking I was clever.

    (Yeah, went without the commas this time- is it better?)

    (Help me, please.)

  97. Victory Garden
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Luann: #77 is the long-lost “HOOO!” guy. He just moved to a different school and grew a few inches. Now he’s some kind of linebacker. Crossovers, God love ‘em.

    9CL: She is the most sophisticated (and hottest) comic character. So don’t you think she’s probably at least putting an aspirin between her knees? Maybe this plot means she’s got food poisoning or mono. Seth will have to nurse her, maybe shirtless.

  98. This Guy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    HotC: There are times when using a character as an author mouthpiece just destroys story logic. Case in point: a kid who wasn’t even born when Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones came out thinks of the PT as “new Star Wars movies.”

    H&J: Sorry, that’s not the deacon. That’s the new Cliche-Bot X3 prototype.

  99. kanomi
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    It’s your Milford Minute with Marty Moon!

    http://tts.imtranslator.net/K1ZJ

    (give the page a moment to load the audio)
    :)

  100. bbofun
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#94): Here ya go-

    “If looks could kill, I’d be dead!”
    Rex, honey- nobody ever finishes that. See, we all assume the person we’re talking to would understand the rest of the sentence as a given, since there’s no way else it could end. “If looks could kill, I’d be severely injured, because her look was bad, but not quite fatal” is a sentence no one will ever say.

    (I got nothin’.)

  101. Meddle Head
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    9CL: To paraphrase WC ” Sometimes nauseating sex with a nerd is just nauseating sex with a nerd”

  102. odinthor
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    H&J. — Or is it perhaps like a parachute with a small rip in it, that tears further the more it is used? Or maybe it’s like someone using an umbrella as a parachute, which only works in cartoons and comics. And yet, most possibly of all, it’s like a balloon that only stays aloft if you pump it full of hot air.

    H&L. — The discomforting fact is that Mozart probably would have been absolutely gassed about composing for this new sound. So to speak.

    JP. — Sam semi-morphs into Charles Lane when he talks about women. Discuss.

    Love Is . . . — . . . Hearing from your divorce lawyer about the splendid settlement!

    Popeye. — Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to thank Tom Cruise and his nose for appearing in our strip today.

    Retail. — “Truth be told”? Huh? When did people in the business world start telling the truth?

  103. Meddle Head
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Oops, make that Sigmund, maybe.

  104. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    MW – If Nola grew up poor and ridiculed, there were undoubtedly old biddies who came into her life from time to time to offer platitudes and unsought advice. Some people just can’t help repeating the same destructive patterns.

  105. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#94): Okay, I’ll bite.
    RMMD: Don’t you love the way Rex fakes having a handle on a styrofoam cup?

  106. SF_Reader
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    MW – Lola: “You don’t know what it’s like to be attacked when you’re at your most vulnerable.”
    Like heck she doesn’t, that’s the only time Mary pulls her attack and meddle routine.

  107. The Ridger
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#29): That would actually make that whole horrible dysfunctional town – especially the whole stupid Wally-POW-for-10-years arc – make sense.

  108. parvomagnus
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Wow, those cats have already torn that poor woman’s hair off by panel 2.

  109. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    MW – “You don’t know what it’s like to be attacked when you’re at your most vulnerable! Naked…handcuffed to a bed…it’s really fucking hot! Especially with a little spanking thrown in!”

    “But I do…”

  110. Crankenstank
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Wizard of Id is actually quoting the lost Shakespeare prequel play to Hamlet – Yorick: What Really Happened. In it we will discover the root of Ophelia’s madness (she let the dog off its leash to play with it, and it was hit by a speeding carriage); Gertrude’s hot, hot past (Hamlet’s father met her at a club where she was a Maypole dancer); and Hamlet’s major at Wittenberg (a double in Cultural Anthropology and Alchemy) and the secret story of how Hamlet’s father really was killed (Hamlet deciding to focus on Cultural Anthropology was too much strain on his heart).

  111. Mibbitmaker
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#69): (Weekend Update with Chevy Chase, already in progress) “And still to come, Aldo Kelrast gets a pet, after this message…”

  112. Old School Allie Cat
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#86): And this is why I’m glad I read the comments before posting – because you said it and you said it better than I could have.

    I also want to give mad props to Pope Noodlefoot for using clowder to correctly identify a group of cats.

    It begs the question – what would a group of Pluggers be called? A snooze? A bore? Or just an average Wednesday at the Golden Corral?

  113. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#94): Well, for starters, since Edda’s pregnancy will violate the terms of her modeling contract to be a rump double, the final panel of today’s RMMD certainly indicates that June would be a more than adequate replacement.

    But then I think we all already knew that.

  114. Vince M
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Gunther should have gone the easier route and eaten a bowl of Kellog’s Apple Jacks cereal, then he’d be able to beat up a whole army of bullies!
    That’s how they advertised the cereal when it first came out, but abandoned the campaign soon (probably soon after some poor dumb kid tried it) – still, more realistic than what we’ve got here.

  115. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#74): I adhere to a “big tent” policy when considering squicky reasons for McE’s decisions, so I won’t rule out your theory.

  116. The Ridger
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#96): Commas were optional in the first one, but you don’t want them here. Commas can only go where the word “and” could (helpful and giant and talking goose” but not “helpful and talking and squirrel butt”). As to the order, the standard order in English is: evaluative, size, shape, condition, age, color, origin, material, purpose (and then participles, usually). So, “helpful, giant, talking goose” is normal and neutral. Anything else is putting some emphasis on the ‘out of place’ one. A “giant, helpful talking goose” implies that some talking geese are neither giant nor helpful, and some helpful talking ones aren’t giants.

  117. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @laila (#70): I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’m not crazy!

  118. Vince M
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#73): He goes by the name Dave X. Mackenaw.

  119. ElkMeadow
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Mark Siegel’s webcom Sailor Twain, will be ending May 25th, on the good captain’s birthday!

  120. McManx
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#49): You know, you are correct about recognizing the existance of Gunk. Up til now, he’s been like Curtis’s little blond Snuffleupagus.

  121. XonMus
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    It appears that Tommie is attempting to “Midwife Like An Egyptian”, in response to the meme started by The Bangles in 1986. This proves that Apartment 3G is much more timely than I gave it credit for.

  122. Batman Beatles
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    9CL – How long will Edda be pregnant? One, two, or three years?

  123. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @twg (#95): Yeah. Lynn forgot to show us the part where Therese hired a huntsman to cut out and bring back her daughter’s heart. Women who don’t want children are stone wicked!

  124. teenchy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#114): I found that hard to believe so I had to see it with my own eyes. Those Apple Jacks look more appealing than today’s – not so frighteningly artificially colored.

  125. NotThatGuy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#29):

    “He then realizes that he’s actually in an asylum, having gone insane after the death of Lisa. He lowers his head, and…” realizes he’s dressed as a mime.

  126. Kate
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @XonMus (#121): My thoughts exactly!

  127. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Gunther is merely following in the footsteps of his favourite superhero as he walks off saying, “I guess in some nutty way, I won!”

  128. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#116): Wow, that’s great. Could you please come to Iowa and use your explanatory powers to convince certain local TV news people and advertizers that prepositions are not freely interchangeable?

  129. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#128): Is the term “squirrel butt” a common term among local Iowa TV news people?

  130. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Edda has unprotected sex at the beginning of the week, and is experiencing morning sickness before the end of the week? By next Wednesday, not only will she have her figure back, her kid will be studying at Julliard.

  131. Droopy Says
    March 2nd, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Creepy Les: This game is going to destroy the Specialest Snowflake’s future. Not because she can’t play, but because the team will win with its highest score ever. So how will it look to the college recruiters when they realize a team does better without Summer?

    Mock Trail: All of this head-bonking will cure Butch’s blindness. That will ruin his film career because nobody will watch a movie about a hunting dog that isn’t blind.

  132. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129): On slow news days, all parts of squirrel anatomy are discussed.

  133. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

  134. The Ridger
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#128): Unfortunately, I’m too busy convincing my own students… Buy them a copy of Longman’s Advanced American Dictionary (yes, it’s true: you have to go the UK to get a decent American learner’s dictionary). It will neatly lay out argument structure for them, including helpful boxes showing you what NOT to say.

  135. Tom the Sailor Man
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#116):

    So that would make Butch a movie-worthy, lost, blind, bruised, old, white, bird-hunting dog?

    Just checking.

  136. gnome de blog
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    So Butch the blind bird dog hears the distant sound of human voices AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN TALKING IN BOLDFACE!

  137. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Monsieur Morón (#26): Monsieur Morón, thank you for pointing that out. While everyone’s scrutinizing the Super Bowl Halftime for nip slips, Mr. Weber Jr. gets to slide penii right by everyone.

    @McManx (#35) on Mark Trail: It’s funny because it’s true.

    @Cloudbuster (#64): It would be great for Super Bear to become a semi-regular character, much like Helicopter Cats and that crazy tractor.

  138. commodorejohn
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL – No. Oh, no, no, no, God dammit no. This cannot be happening. Jesus, Brooke, wasn’t it bad enough that you had to sully classical music, dance, unicorns, legs, the 1940s, and silly daydream fantasy with your seventh-grade “humor?” Is nothing sacred? Oh fucking hell. I see people upthread suggesting that Brooke was saving up for the ensuing porn drought, but I can’t believe that the universe would be that merciful. No, mark my words, 9 Chickweed Lane is gearing up to be the strip that introduces pregnancy fetishism to the funny pages. FUCK.

    (And I’m no obstetrician, but aren’t there a number of warning signs that should’ve clued her in before nausea starts? Or is it that Creatures of Pure Art don’t menstruate, so there’s no such thing as a missed period? But what about Crazy Hair Ballerina…oh fuck it, I’m not thinking about this.)

    A3G – What the hell happened to Nina between panels one and two? Did a black hole open up at the top of the panel and spaghettify her head and neck? …oh well, I honestly can’t get too worked up about this. When we’re facing the prospect of *shudder* an Edda Burber pregnancy, Nina the Chimney looks like a God-damn mother goddess. AUGH AUGH AUGH WHY GOD

    Curtis – Did we really need a “hip, urban” remake of “The Cats of Ulthar?”

    DT – Geez, what a glory hound! Yes, it’s a good thing Dick Tracy is here, it’s not like Mole had already found out – and was dealing with it in Dick’s preferred manner. Just can’t let anybody get in on the bloodshed, can you? Dick.

    H&L – “With this new sampling program I can turn any sound into music. You know, where ‘new’ is defined as ‘the Amiga, in 1985.’ It is still the ’80s, right?”

    HOTC – Oh, you think that’s bad, Dean? Just wait until George starts in with the endless re-edits on the new trilogy.

    Jumble – TAKE THE PEE

    Luann – FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

    MT – “Using his nose, the blind dog struggles to find a familiar scent. But when he tries using his ears to smell, he has no difficulty!”

    MW – No! No, Nola! Don’t let her start! Oh, now you’ve done it! You’re doomed! DOOMED!!!

    Popeye – …

    SF – So Hil is the anti-Groucho?

    SM – “After grabbing Thor’s hammer, here’s where I get off! Now let’s see if I can’t find some more porn euphemisms in Asgard proper!”

  139. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138):

    MT – “Using his nose, the blind dog struggles to find a familiar scent. But when he tries using his ears to smell, he has no difficulty!”

    That means he’s not blind but his senses are mixed up. All he has to do to see is lift his tail and look out his ass.

  140. Vince M
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#137): I think it would be cool if Super Bear was referred to regularly but never seen – the Super Bear you imagine being the greatest Super Bear. “Who’s your king now?” indeed.

  141. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#68): That dog is blind? Really? I hadn’t heard. By any chance, is he old?

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#83): Otto only talks to pussy. There. I said it.

    @bats :[ (#89): FLING! I gotta remember to keep a tumbler or two of battery acid around when the circus is in town.

    @cheech wizard (#109): That is disturbing on so many levels. Actually, it’s disturbing on one level, the one that the brain thinks on.

  142. Hank
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#130): Apparently, you have forgotten when he took nearly a year to have the grandmother sit in the hospital and tell us a story about sex during WWII. This pregnancy, if that’s what it is, could last longer than an African elephant’s.

  143. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#112): A group of Pluggers is correctly called “a crap-ton of carbon-based organisms that need to get out of my way and FAST because I have a life and things to do other than get stuck behind their massive asses puttering around side by side complaining about the high cost of Lipitor and fried pies and how their sweatpants’ elastic doesn’t stretch anymore because they don’t build things like they used to so that I can’t pass them unless I powerslide through the displays of Shake N Bake and canned pie filling because I HAVE A LIFE that I need to attend to!”

  144. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#143): Is there an app for that?

  145. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#140): That works. Maybe an off-panel “GROWWWL!” once in a while.

    @Sequitur (#144): No damnit. Not even PlugTrak© that could use sonar to locate crap-tons of Pluggers plugging up hallways, aisles, escalators, and elevators then use GPS to route you around them in malls, grocery stores, and feed lots across the country.

  146. Shrug
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#100):

    “If looks could kill, only old blind dogs would be safe, and would thus rule the world.”

    Woof, woof (a.k.a. “Heh heh” in the Old Blind Dog Tongue)

  147. Bootsy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Good heavens! Sam Driver is slowly morphing into Jimmy
    Durante today!

  148. Old School Allie Cat
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#143): Yep, sounds like a typical trip to my local grocery store. I’ve learned to throw elbows. Of course, I live in a neighborhood that also has a fair amount of hipsters, who are buying Shake n Bake ironically, so I have them to contend with as well.

  149. A Smirch Unheeded
    March 2nd, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    Just got my NEHEMIAH SCUDDER FOR PRESIDENT bumper sticker! It’s a beaut!
    Yee hah! New Jerusalem here we come!

  150. Trilobite
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    I would love to see a spinoff comic about Marty Moon and his endless parade of sad, suffering interns.

    I imagine that printing out gossip blogs for Marty is the best part of being his intern, with the worst being cleaning out those earphones. But most of the time, you’re just making sure that his water bottle is topped up with Rumpleminze during the games. Still, you wonder if it’s all worth 2 independent study credits.

  151. Cloudbuster
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#141): “By any chance, is he old?”

    I dunno! I’ll have to read back through the archive looking for subtle references to his age.

  152. _liz
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @cholling (#51):

    That made me lol

  153. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#149): Hey, that’s great! Where are you going to stick it? Do you need suggestions?

  154. Esther Blodgett
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#148): I live in a neighborhood that also has a fair amount of hipsters, who are buying Shake n Bake ironically…

    Wait, you can do that? What about lima beans? I think you’ve just made my dinner day.

  155. commodorejohn
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#143), @Old School Allie Cat (#148): Don’t forget the part about sitting in the disability cart (because being spherical is totally a disability) and reaching a grabber-claw up to the top shelf to knock every last thing up there over in the quest for a jar of marshmallow sauce…

  156. Hibbleton
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MT: In the valley of the blind, the old, blind dog is ..no big deal, really.

  157. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#148): I’ve found that elbows don’t elicit much of a reaction due to the thick layers of protective blubber most Pluggers carry. Harpoon? Maybe.

    @commodorejohn (#155): Ugh. Motor carts. That’s something you don’t see in European grocery stores. Then again, Pluggers can’t readily fit into a typical European grocery. Problem solved!

  158. Alison
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    LUANN: Gunther, you slimy, cowardly, wormy little weasel. Don’t sneak up on people and hit them if you can’t take the consequences of your behavior.

    I foresee Gunther continuing with this behavior well into adulthood. When he is 21 I imagine he will knock off a mini-mart (escaping with $14 and some Twinkies), and when the cops show up, he will try and get the clerks and the customers who witnessed his crime to shout at the cops and gang up up on them for being “mean” to him.

  159. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Gotta hand it to Wilkins. The road to this point may have been contrived and hokey, but ultimately we got to see two hoodlums reduced to bone marrow and rags by a pride of man-eating cats. That is what we’re here for, isn’t it?

    GT: “In fact no one is really paying attention to Thorp and his sickly band of high school sixth-stringers. Hell, this microphone isn’t even plugged into anything!”

    Phantom: Bet he wishes he were in another serial strip. One where being crooked, talking to himself, and having a glorious mustache would only get him punched in the face, not killed execution style.

    DtM: Kudos, Margaret, kudos.

    OBH: I love how the very mention of laxatives seems to give dad painful flashbacks.

    MT: Sadly the voices are on the other side of an eight lane highway…

    BSt: “Hello, Ministry of Silly Walks? Mine won’t turn off.”

    Drabble: I call blatand doppelganger abuse in panel 3.

    M-Dawg: I’m not saying for sure that Marm’s cold will entail a bout of doggie diarrhea, but it might be wise to ritually burn all the bedding anyway.

    9CL: Oh dear Monty! Brooke is going with the pregnancy thing. What rough beast slouches toward Juilliard?

    Luann: Not unjustifiably, Les Knox loses faith in humanity and retires in disgust to a life of hermitage.

    6C: “You misheard me. I said I was getting baked and having cookies.”

  160. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Repentant alcoholic, loss of faithful long-time dog companion, jester uniform hinting towards Pagliacci, multiple scenes of mournful longing? Let’s call it “The Jester’s Cries” and somebody get me Tom Hanks because I Smell OSCAR!

    - yeff

  161. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138):

    SM – “After grabbing Thor’s hammer, here’s where I get off! Now let’s see if I can’t find some more porn euphemisms in Asgard proper!”

    You do mean “ass-guard proper”, right?

  162. Dood
    March 2nd, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Those pages are the character sheets for Marty’s imaginary Gil Thorp universe. Pity that Parker Bowen missed that saving throw.

  163. commodorejohn
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#157): Well, now, I do like the idea of Plugger-proofing buildings through sheer physical incompatibility…

  164. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#112): It begs the question – what would a group of Pluggers be called?
    IT DOESN’T. Please, people, look it up.

    To answer the question, though:
    a KLUDGE of pluggers
    a WHINE of pluggers
    a PLAGUE of pluggers
    a WHOGIVESASHIT of pluggers
    a SURPLUS of pluggers
    a DUMP of pluggers
    a TECHNICOLOR YAWN of pluggers
    a BUSTED PICKUP of pluggers
    or just TOO GODDAMN MANY pluggers

    Or maybe trim yours and say
    a GOLDEN CORRAL of pluggers.

  165. Marthas Rolling Pin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    BB: Otto evidently just slightly offended Gunk.

  166. Izzy
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Gunk’s hellish witchcraft must have sacrificed his own right hand… It’s gnarled, rotten, and probably smells of death.

  167. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    GT: Actually, those papers in Marty’s hand are this week’s church bulletin, since he’s broadcasting from the confessional booth. For Lent, he’s given up even trying to make us think he has a real job.

  168. Old School Allie Cat
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#164): D’oh – and here I thought I was pretty smart. Cheerfully withdrawn – but thanks for answering the (unbegged) question.

  169. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#157): Does that mean that Pluggerism is pretty much an American phenomenon?

  170. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#164): But you left out the sine qua non for there to be a group of Pluggers at all:

    a REEDHOOVER of Pluggers

  171. Old School Allie Cat
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#170):

    Rolly Church of Crete! That’s it!

  172. The Ridger
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#164): It does. Sorry. “Beg the question” is the crappiest translation of “petitio principi” and doesn’t mean in clear plain English what people want it to mean. If you can say “ad hominem” and “post hoc” you can use the Latin for this one too and let us use English to mean what English means. Grmph.

  173. Tom the Sailor Man
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#164): @The Ridger (#172):

    “Mark Trail is a good outdoorsman because he has no facial hair” – begging the question?

    How about “Tommy is a good dog trainer because his blind dog can stumble around and find a coat”?

    Oh well. I gave it a shot.

  174. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#164): A Golden Corral of Pluggers for the win!

    @Sequitur (#169): I’d have to agree with that statement with the caveat that England has its share of Pluggers (Ploughgers?). A friend’s wife won’t go into a certain inexpensive grocery store because people keep bumping their massive asses into her. I laughed. I usually went to that store very early in the morning or very late at night. Once I visited during the day. It was a Golden Corral of Ploughgers bashing me with their massive asses. I wasn’t laughing.

  175. Anonymous
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Gee, thanks, Wizard of Id. I was already crying earlier today because I miss my dog (d. June 2009). A hard ache to shake sometimes.

    Hagar = Lockhorns

    MW – wow, this redefines “Power lunch.” *runs and hides*

    Blondie – needs to learn more about the 80/20 rule.

  176. Calico
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#175):
    Sorry, #175 was me

  177. Calico
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @jvwalt (#3):
    And Nina’s arm is a mile long in panel 2. LOL

  178. Calico
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#7):
    Gunk is the newish version of the real Bernie Goetz. ; P

  179. Sequitur
    March 2nd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#174): I almost had that experience at a Walmart in Mississippi. The only thing that saved me was wide aisles.

  180. Theodora of Forth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158):

    LOL! He would also sue for emotional trauma from being handcuffed and fingerprinted. In Evans version, Gunther would be awarded several million dollars for pain and suffering.

  181. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#50):

    Then again, tomorrow the artist will probably forget to put it in there at all.

    Nina wishes Scott had done the same. /rimshot

  182. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    See, Curtis? Gunk can get pussy to do whatever he wants. Watch and learn, son, watch and learn.

  183. Alfred E. Neuman
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    FW— Summer’s attention deficit disorder is getting worse. The coaches told her to spot up on Bowles, not spit up in bowls.

  184. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @agony (#80): I’m right there with you on the Mark ‘n Tommy loathing. Mark Trail: Teaching America about Irresponsible and Callous Dog Ownership for 60 Years!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#90): Aw. See, you wouldn’t let that pup stumble about in the woods with only a jacket for company, would you?

    @The Ridger (#116): I’m glad you brought up the “and” guideline. I tell my students that that’s how to decide whether to use a comma or not, but sometimes I can’t remember if something is a real rule, or if I just made up a trick to help students not do things that drive me crazy.

  185. Chalmondersley Worcestershire
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#174):
    “Ploughgers” is pronounced “Plurs,” is it not?

  186. anon
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @vanya (#11): @vanya (#11):

    are you serious? They copulate ALL the time. What do you think they’re doing, do you need photos of penis in vagina to get it?

  187. tb4000
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: It bothers me that Gunk has all this supernatural ability at his disposal, yet he never has the ability to defeat the status quo is God mindset of the strip.

  188. commodorejohn
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    You know, in retrospect, I suppose this was inevitable. I don’t recall any of the hands in 9CL wearing a glove.

  189. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Chalmondersley Worcestershire (#185): “Ploughgers” is pronounced “Pluggers.” British English doesn’t always pronounce wordss like they’re written. Just like “Worcestershire” is pronounced “Wurstershir” and “chav” is pronounced “douchebag.”

  190. Dennis Jimenez
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Chalmondersley Worcestershire (#185): A penny savethed is a penny not wastethed on thy goodwifeths anniversary gifteth.

    Ye Olde Ploughgers Almanac – 1747

  191. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#155): There are disability carts in the grocery store I frequent. There is a large basket in the front of each that says, “No children in basket.” And every time I look, there are no children in the basket!

    How does it know? How does it know?

  192. yaoi huntress earth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#31): Actually, Seth only took that ballerina’s virginity; he never knocked her up.

  193. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 2nd, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#191): Just had an added thought. If a Plugger put a couple of frozen chickens in the basket, would that count as children in the basket?

  194. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#178): At least Bernie fought his own fight. He didn’t arrange for a band of mimes to magically appear and do his dirty work for him. (It was the New York subway — I figured mimes were more likely than cats. I could be wrong.)

  195. Baka Gaijin
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#191): That sign is a cousin to the “You are here” sign at the mall.

    and #193: Good heavens, man, no! Quelle horrible! A dozen eggs = children in the basket.

  196. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#192): Seth is smart enough to wear a condom. And he’s probably not a Catholic, anyhow.

  197. Shrug
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#188):

    “You know, in retrospect, I suppose this was inevitable. I don’t recall any of the hands in 9CL wearing a glove.”

    Thumbs up!

  198. Shrug
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#195):

    “That sign is a cousin to the “You are here” sign at the mall. ”

    I never go to shopping malls, so someone who does will have to let me know if there are “You are not here” signs there for me.

  199. A Smirch Unheeded
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): Where are you going to stick it? Do you need suggestions? No, but thanks, anyway. The “Nehemiah Scudder for President” sticker will go on the left rear bumper, right under the Flying Spaghetti Monster fish decal. (Where I live you are required to have a fish decal of some kind. Jesus, Darwin, Bassmasters… something. Calvin peeing on an automotive logo is optional.)

  200. Zerowolf
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#61): Jackelrod stories are long stretches of mind numbing inanity punctuated with occasional pancakes and WOLVES!

  201. Zerowolf
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: That’s not true, do you know how hard it was meddling in lives while peddling apples in the Great Depression?

  202. Señor Tortilla
    March 2nd, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#192): There’s an actual difference, or are you quoting how McEldowney handwaved that fact away?

  203. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G-To remind the readers that Nina is pregnant here is a shot of her belly.

    A3G 2-According to my finger you are in perfect health and the sex of your baby is a boy.

  204. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#172): English is a living language. In a hundred years, you’ll probably be right. You’re not right yet, though. Also, “sorry” should be saved for when you’re sincere about it. I don’t make the rules, and I don’t enforce them, but once in a while, I get to complain.

    @Baka Gaijin (#174): A Golden Corral of Pluggers for the win!
    Credit goes to Old School Allie Cat, then.

    @Liam (#203): Second comment is a late winner!

  205. yaoi huntress earth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#202): I thought she never was pregnant, my mistake.

    If Brooke goes through with Edda being pregnant, I can help feeling a little ill myself since I now know she’s based off of Brooke’s daughter.

  206. Fashion Police
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    We find Mrs. Gaines’ frilly collar rather fetching, in a 1950s “ploughger” kind of way. It’s probably the closest thing to cute clothing that Mr. Bolle has drawn since he put Winnie Winkle’s fourteen-year-old son in a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit.

  207. The Ridger
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

  208. Nary Worth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#205):

    I’m kind of glad that he’s changing up the formula, and will actually have to come up with new kinds of strips beyond “cat joke”, “verbose innuendo”, “old film reference”, and “model poster filler strip”. If nothing else, seeing Baby Blues or Marvin shoved through the Brooke filter should be interesting…

  209. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#201): Now I’m seeing La Worth, badgering some poor bread-line guy with her concern: “But kindness is my religion! Wouldn’t you like to talk about your destitution?”
    “Get lost, lady!”
    “!”

  210. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 2nd, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G Tommie! Again with waving your filthy finger! Stop tormenting Nina, please.

    A4G “After the examination…”
    After that intro, why did I expect to see Nina and Tommie smoking cigarettes?

    CS What? No stupid malapropism? No “I hit the Wall of Fame”? “I made it into the Hell of Lame”? No?

    MW Nola launches into her own version of a Who classic:
    “No one knows what it’s like
    To be the bad girl
    To be the sad girl
    Behind blue eyes hair.

    No one knows what it’s like
    To be hated
    To be fated
    To telling only lies.

    But my schemes
    They aren’t as evil
    As my conscience seems to be.”

    BG&SS Hey, everything’s up to date in Hootin’ Holler! A club for bears with 30 members! Who would have ever guessed? Just wait’ll I tell my bear buddies about this!

  211. Scottness84
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Nina phone home.

  212. mr12ozcan
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    gilthorp-just for fun call up your local high school and ask if they have a sports annoucer for there teams then ask how old he is thats where the fun starts
    mark trail- if elrod had a funny bone butch would return just as they released the last rope of the hot air balloon the film director is taking back to town
    mary worth -why karen moy sticks to the print world and doesnt write reality tv ill never know

  213. Jamus The Bartender
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL: HAH!! Take THAT!! Now you know how we feel.

    Luann: Wow. The Straight Up Buddies For Jesus really came through for Gunther. And he gets to hook up with Rosa. Of course, we all know that in real life, he’d get his head slammed in a locker while the class films it with their phones, yelling “Fight, fight, fight”.

    MW: Oh, damn, this is gonna be one of those “I was so poor I had to eat from a rolled up newspaper, and we LIKED it” stories, isn’t it? I wanted to hear how Nola blew the VP in charge of finances.

    Spider Man: This, kids, is what we call a “fastball special”. This comic book geek minute was brought to you by The Avengers, in theaters this May. Avengers Assemble!

  214. Jamus The Bartender
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#94): I quit reading Rex Morgan when it became clear that cousin Brook was NOT gonna come back to take naughty showers and steal their cash.

  215. Nary Worth
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#213):

    Oh, damn, this is gonna be one of those “I was so poor I had to eat from a rolled up newspaper, and we LIKED it” stories, isn’t it?

    To be fair, since Mary Worth first appeared during the depression in the 1930s, she probably does have some decent stories about hard times.

  216. seismic-2
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Mary: “Let me tell you about falling on hard times, Nola. During the Depression, I had to sell apples out of a pushcart.”
    Nola: “Yeah? Who did you have to blow, to land that gig?”

  217. Señor Tortilla
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#205): Well, the story ended and we never saw her again. She COULD be pregnant, for all we know.

  218. Jamus The Bartender
    March 2nd, 2012 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nary Worth (#215): Oh yeah. She sure as hell does. “Apple Mary” and all that. What we’re NOT gonna hear about is how Nola ascended to Vice President wearing nothing but lies and a smile. Plus, Gunther didn’t get beat up. Life is really wrong, sometimes.

  219. scott
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    FW- I am so hoping that Summer is in the locker room having a “I didn’t Know I was Pregnant” moment.

  220. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @scott (#219): FW- I am so hoping that Summer is in the locker room having a “I didn’t Know I was Pregnant” moment.

    More Moores? I’m counting on them dying out.

  221. Señor Tortilla
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#213): To avoid persecution from school officials, Les could take it outside. This YouTube video has all the trappings of a typical YouTube fight video (racist comments, shot with a cell phone). It’s also the one where I fully recognize the location. Basically, it was done across the street from the school, in the side parking lot of a grocery store (one of my favorites, might I add). The bonus feature, which you can’t really tell from Google Maps, is that the whole thing is sunken below ground level. Basically, Leslie can pressure Gunther into going to somewhere nearby (behind a gas station, something like that, there’s always someplace semi-private near a high school) while paying Gunther to tell there’s “gonna be a fight at (behind the [place])”. Gunther, being a fool and believing his gambit will work, will spread the word. Everyone shows up behind the gas station or besides the grocery store, and just as Leslie begins to beat Gunther to a pulp, everyone is either using their cell phone to record, or yelling the old “Fight! Fight!” or standing there in stunned silence.

    If Gunther’s lucky, he won’t get literally curb-stomped. At that point, Gunther could still “win” when Rosa falls in love while his broken body recovers in a local hospital. See? Everyone wins, right?

  222. Señor Tortilla
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#220): We’ve seen Funky’s father and that explains why Funky is kind of a wreck, I wonder if we’ll ever see Mr. and Mrs. Moore? My guess is that they’re so ashamed of their son that they disowned him.

  223. strutzby
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Panel 1: “So anyway Tommie, I picked up this monkey’s paw I found, and wished to be pregnant, and six months later, here I am!” “Wow Nina, what a story! Did it look like this?”

    Panel 2: “No, it was more like this. You don’t think anything bad could happen, do you?” “Well, Margo’s known about it for over a month and nothing bad has happened yet, so you’re probably safe.”

  224. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    MW-Get ready for Mary to tell us a story that makes us wonder how old Mary is and what decade it is taking place in.

    MT-Butch is then hit by Steve’s car as Steve was getting out of there as fast as he could. Steve heard terrible things about the forest at night and wanted to get away from there.

    FC-You get the tie. I’ll get the scissors.

    Love Is-Step one of stalkerdom.

  225. Liam
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Nina, pull my finger.”

  226. Droopy Says
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#222): My guess is that Dr. Frankenstein voided their warranties and dismantled them.

  227. Chyron HR
    March 2nd, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @anon (#186): Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m sorry, but no. In fact, Brooke has declared that if you think he has ever depicted his characters having sex, then you, sir, are a filthy-minded beefwit.

    Yes, he also says that anyone who doesn’t think his characters are constantly bumping uglies is also a beefwit.

    You might think these two positions are contradictory, but there’s a very simple and satisfying explanation: Brooke McEldowney is a pretentious asshole.

  228. Brian
    March 2nd, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    I finally figured out what makes Apt 3-G so unique: it’s the only all-marionette strip in the paper.

  229. isjusterin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    I was going to make a funny comment about Nina’s hideously long arm in that second panel but it freaked me out so bad I just opened my mouth and spiders came out.

  230. crazy fungus
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    MT- gotta find out where this forest is… an 80 foot tall quail (thurs) and a seven foot tall velociraptosquirrel (fri) make me want to hide under Mary and Nola’s table instead of working on my tree leaf collection

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