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Erotic marital mirth

Hi and Lois and Beetle Bailey, 3/3/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Hi is flirting with some other lady right in front of his wife, and General Halftrack is reacting to his wife’s attempt to initiate intimacy with undisguised horror! I mean, we get it, entire staff of Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC, you find the prospect of having sex with your wives repulsive, no need to harp on it. (I was originally going to write “sex with your spouses” to cover the possibility that someone working there might be a lady or gay, but then I was thought about the last 30+ years of Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois and Hagar the Horrible and decided, nope, “wives” it is.)

Apartment 3-G, 3/3/12

Now here’s a couple with a healthy sex life! I almost wrote “a healthy relationship,” but then I remembered their widely divergent attitudes about the child they’re about to have together. At least they still like to get it on! Seriously, I assume that whoever hacked into the servers of the market research company that’s asking newspaper readers about what they want to see in Apartment 3-G and replaced all the survey responses with “PREGO PORN” is one of my readers, and I just want you to know that you’re my hero.

146 responses to “Erotic marital mirth”

  1. Richard Riis
    March 3rd, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Of course Hi is attracted to Barb, she looks exactly like Lois. On the other hand, a girl who can pull off a camel toe in a skirt and bend her legs like pipe cleaners might merit some concern on Lois’ part.

  2. Bill the Butcher
    March 3rd, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Hi has sex with his eyebrows, I assume.

  3. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Oh God, Oh God. The strip Peter Parker has been waiting for. No action happening for him to stand aside and watch. Nothing. The only thing left for him to do is go to bed. Boy is Odin going to be Odin-Angry that his fabled Odin-Sleep has been Odin-Interrupted by the legendary Spider-Dork.

  4. pugfuggly
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    H&L Hi, you dog! Picking up other women in front of your wife, and at a wake, no less! Well, I’m sure it’s what aunt Gladys would have wanted…

    A3G Wow, this Tommiebot has a WebMD app! Just describe any set of symptoms and she’ll identify the condition and spit out the dictionary definition.

    MW ‘Nothing is worth having if it means harming others to get it!’ It’s phrases like this that got Mary interred during WWII….

  5. Doctor Handsome
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    I think Lois isn’t so much threatened by Hi’s hilariously doomed attempts at flirting as she is resentful of his ability to convey emotions with his eyes and eyebrows, while she’s stuck with that Orphan Annie crap.

  6. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Mary, not only is Nina immune to your meddle-slapping, it’s one of her turn-ons, along with breaking laws and teasing nosy biddies. It’s right there on her profile.

  7. lynn
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Josh doesn’t seem to have realized that in panel one, Gen. and Missus Halftrack ARE talking about sex.

  8. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    A3G: Don’t be so presumptuous, Josh. Scott may not be the father. He looks like the kind of guy who always meant to have sex but just never got around to it, is all I’m saying.

  9. anon
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Wow, is that Nina UGLY or what?

    9CL – speaking of preggo porn – be prepared for a pregnancy that is going to last much longer than that of, say, an elephant’s.

  10. Doctor Handsome
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    I’d be alarmed by the notion that a general in the U.S. Army can’t comprehend the game of checkers, but if he tried to learn it once and had to bone his old gross wife instead, I guess I’ll sleep soundly.

  11. odinthor
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    H&L. — “I also didn’t have to say ‘I do.’ But I did.”

    Love Is . . . — . . . Like being on a bike on which you can hardly reach the pedals!

    Luann. — Can Rosa please get bigger hair? I can still see a little of the background.

    MT. — “It sounded like a dog barking? Hmmm. My naturalist training suggests that it might have been a dog barking.”

    Spidey. — Now they bring out the lutefisk.

  12. Chareth Cutestory
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: Its not impossible for me to envision a woman who dresses like a polygamist wife in cult settling in with a lazy day Netflix marathon, but whats really messing with my head is trying to imagine what sort of bland drivel rounds out Nina and Scott’s Netflix queue.

  13. Mibbitmaker
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    We’ll see if the “PREGGO PORN” poster is still your hero, Josh, if what we think will happen happens in 9 Chickweed Lane!

    A3G: “Scotty the Hottie”? Oop, looks like the brainwashing’s kicked in!

    FW: Uh-oh! Gil Thorp’s not going to like this!

    Luann: The real reason Edda’s barfing in 9CL.

    S-M: Absolutely nothing!

    FC: PJ and BP.

    Zits: Worst mixed drink ever!

    CdS, Best Comic in the World:
    I love you, strip, but please tell Debbie Downer to SHUT THE HELL UP!

  14. Kwazzymodo
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    “Who moves first? Can I jump over you?” That’s all General Halftrack remembers about sex.

  15. Horace Broon
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#4): And World War I. And the Civil War. And the War of Independence…

  16. Ed Dravecky
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    It was me, but while I meant to write “Prego™ porn” (which involves a popular bottled pasta sauce, vermicelli, and a twirling motion I fear to describe in a public forum) I apparently typed “preggo porn”. I apologize for the error.

  17. Chyron HR
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Luann – Oh, Gunther! You’re just like Ghandi, if Ghandi liked to physically assault people while their backs were turned.

  18. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Archie-Besides kid, Archie is sitting next to Betty and you don’t want what’s at the bottom of the popcorn bucket.

    A3G-”Hey look, we mentioned ‘Netflix’ in an attempt to show you that we are contemporary and not just a hopelessly outdated comic with it’s mindset stuck in the Sixties.”

    Curtis-That’s a smart move Curtis. If Gunk told he would have to kill you with an army of animals.

    FC-That’s juice!?! What is he drinking motor oil?

    Crankshaft-Good. Everything is going as I’ve foreseen.

  19. Chris
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Did they just reference something current in Apartment 3-G? I…I didn’t know they were allowed to do that!

  20. Tristan J
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie in panel two seems intrigued by this idea of sexual activity.

  21. CanuckDownSouth
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    What with all the inane puns, I can’t bring myself to pay enough attention to Crankshaft to keep track of the “mystery guy in a wheelchair” bits. Is Bushka supposed to mean something? Was he the guy who managed to keep Cranky from his shot at the majors? Is this comic – heaven forfend! – actually supposed to be be touching, with a repentant bully?

    Scotch & Bengay vs Scope and chocolate syrup* – is this “awful martini Saturday” on the comics page?

    * seriously, Blondie, it can’t work as a _mouthwash_ if you put in sugary goo!

  22. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Luann-Three is a crowd when it is two guys and a girl. When it is two girls and a guy then it is a lot of fun.

    Spiderman-”I hope they get television up here it is almost time for my stories.”

  23. Señor Tortilla
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    BGSS – Yet another miserable marriage!

    9CL – Edda has suddenly come aware of her own comic strip.

    DT – “Please, Jerry, call me Aldo.”

    FW – How weird would it be if Les quickly shaved off his beard and took off his glasses to be in Summer’s place.

    GA – This strip would be a lot more entertaining if more action like this was done.

    Luann – GO TO HELL, EVANS.

    Ziggy – Especially since that looks like a baked potato on a stick.

  24. Purple Prosecutor
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Better than spending her day with Scotty 2 Hotty, anyway.

  25. TheDiva
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    A3G: Trust me, bed rest is one of those things that sounds nice until you actually have to do it. I give Nina three hours before she goes crazy from being stuck on the couch watching back episodes of Grey’s Anatomy with her impossibly bland husband.

    9CL: Add “looking at a woman’s can while she’s vomiting” to the list of turn-ons I really, really wish McEldowney would keep to himself.

    C’shaft: The poor guy thinks being in the Hall of Fame is like being on a stamp, and you have to be dead for ten years before they’ll give you the honor.

    FW: I’m not a basketball pioneer who had to practice at midnight in a dirty cafeteria or anything, but wouldn’t most coaches prefer a healthy second-string player over a first-string player who can barely stand up? Ah but I forget, this is Summer Moore we’re talking about, without whom the Nannygoats cannot function and who will bowl over all opposing teammates with the virtue of her own specialness.

    Luann: “You lucked out of a situation you created with your own passive-agressive behavior, Gunther! You’re a hero!”

    MW: Oh really, Mary? How many salmon have died in the name of Charterstone pool parties?

    Pluggers cannot fathom any emotional connection that does not involve a TV in some fashion.

    SM: Waaaait, that’s not Asgard, that’s the bad guy’s palace from Krull!

  26. Crankenstank
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    I’d mock the Halftracks for using checkers as a form of foreplay, but Scrabble plays the same function in our household. Extra points for “jumping the King”, Mrs. Halftrack.

  27. tycho anomaly
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#4)

    “…that got Mary interred during WWII….”

    Then some damn fool went and dug her up.

  28. terrapin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    FC: Looks like PJ was about to ingest a cup of prune juice, so the family circus dodged a bullet there. “Mommy, PJ’s still in th’ baffroom! Should I wait or jus’ tinkle in th’ hallway?”

    MT: I like how Tommy says “It sounded like a dog barking!” and not “It sounded like Butch!” I’ve owned dogs all my life and I can always tell when it’s my dog barking. I predict a week of Tommy wondering if that could be ‘Old Blind Butch”, while film guy says “I have no more time to wait. No, really I have to be going now. For reals this time.”

  29. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Sorry Hi but that threesome you’ve been hoping for is not going to happen.

  30. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    if I had named my fanfic “erotic marital mirth”, would I have gotten more comments? *ponders*

    9cl: o please. *gulpBLORG*

    HotC: Dean, go see “Secret Life of Ariette.” you’ll feel better.

    NAoQV: can we nominate this past week of strips for one of the annual Mudgeon awards? It’s been glorious.

    PBS: mocking Pastis just got 20% funnier . . .

    Zits: maybe some scotch will help me unsee that . . .

    DT: I am SO loving this. I still say the color guy is Aldo, btw.

    OBH: ha! nice one.

    SF: mmmm, alpacas. (c’mon, Ces, Fay confession, we want to see it!)

  31. pugfuggly
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#15):

    She is, without doubt, the dullest Immortal of them all.

    @tycho anomaly (#27):

    Then some damn fool went and dug her up.

    They should know by now that they have to cut her head off to finish her!

    I’ve really got to start paying more attention to typos…..

    @Tristan J (#20):

    Tommie in panel two seems intrigued by this idea of sexual activity.

    ‘So you just order it on netflix, then? Wow, no wonder it hasn’t been happening for me…’

  32. mstgator
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    I looked up “Braxton Hicks contractions” myself, and nowhere does it mention inexplicable shape-shifting. Tommie’s diagnosis for Nina is clearly incorrect.

  33. Chip
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    TWENTY YEARS!? I don’t think the good General has bumped naughty parts (with his wife) in more than DOUBLE that time!

  34. Nil Zed
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Tommie is a mid-wife? Since when?

  35. The Ridger
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    9CL: Jeeeeezus, Amos. Just jeeeeeeeeeeeeezus.

  36. The Ridger
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nil Zed (#34): Tommie is a mid-wife? Since when? About a week-and-a-half ago. She’s filling in.

  37. FOOBed again
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#25):

    Luann: “You lucked out of a situation you created with your own passive-agressive behavior, Gunther! You’re a hero!”

    Exactly. I wonder if Evans thinks this is some kind of PSA on bullying. Some of the commenters on the strip in Gocomics seemed to think it was earlier in the week (I haven’t been able to bring myself to read them the last couple days.) They were even telling someone who was objecting to the storyline that bullying was a huge problem and it was so cool of Evans to take it on.

    Bullying is a huge problem in schools, but this strip isn’t doing anything to help or shed any light on it. If Evans is trying to raise awareness of bullying, he’s unintentionally making kind of a mockery of it. If Gunther hadn’t hit Leslie in the back with his bookbag, Leslie wouldn’t have even bothered with him anymore. Rosa seemed able to deal with Leslie’s unwanted advances on her own, and he’d probably have gone away and left them alone. Gunther wasn’t a true victim of bullying–usually there’s no provocation from the victim.

  38. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#12): Their Netflix queue is the entire series of “The Flying Nun.”

    @Liam (#22): And if it’s two girls and a cup, it’s disgusting.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Anti-Depressent Dog.


    meanwhile, in OBH.

    for the Didactic Duo.

    I am shocked.

    I want to add this to my character sheet.

    ocelittle squee.

    ferrets and hammocks, an unbeatable combination.

    pool party.

    corgsqui for bb,u.

  40. Bill the Butcher
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Evans has obviously lost it and should have retired a long, long time ago. The signs of deterioration have been unmistakable since the Great Washington Trip Snorefest of 2008. As for the strip on GoComics, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that sock puppets are being used by someone there to squelch dissent and drive up the comment tally.

  41. pparf
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Lois, I do have to lift my eyebrows. It’s the trick I’ve developed so that I won’t stare at women’s breasts and have to listen to them say, “Hey,fella, my eyes are up here!”

  42. Irrischano
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    I love Scott’s look of confused disappointment in panel one. “Oh, so you already decided to name the baby Braxton Hicks, that’s an okay name, I guess

  43. TheDiva
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#37): In addition, this particular arc suffers from a problem most “very special episodes” about bullying possess: the actual solution is almost never this easy. Peer pressure may have stopped Gunther’s pummeling now, but Les has no reason to stop his attacks–in fact, this humiliation would probably inspire him to attack Gunther again, and in a place where he’s less likely to be saved by teacher or student interference. Bullying is an insidious, complicated problem, one that cannot be ignored or tricked or reasoned out of existence, and pretending that it can be is a disservice to the victims of it.

  44. Bill the Butcher
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#43): What any normal, sane individual would think is that Gunther has just made his own situation a thousand times worse, because having been humiliated in public, “Greaseball” has a powerful new motive to turn him into a smear on the ground. Unless “Greaseball” is an unquiet spirit condemned to haunting Pitts High for eternity, he can presumably wipe out Gunther somewhere else when there are no witnesses. But then people who say that on GoComics are immediately attacked by the worshippers of the Holy Church of Greg Evans.

  45. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#13):
    You wrote
    “Zits: Worst mixed drink ever!”

    That and the chocolate mouthwash in Blondie. I don’t think even Halftrack or Hagar would try it.

  46. tallyHO
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    In between panel one and panel two Lois slammed her martini.

  47. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    And in Baldo, Tia Carmen continues her rapid descent into insanity.

    FW – Oh gross, now the whole team’s going to get it. Have a nice ride back home.

  48. Victory Garden
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#46): well, wouldn’t you?

  49. Illustrator Steve
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    MT – Blind dog Butch’s vision is restored when film maker Steve’s van backs up and slams into his head.
    “Hey Steve! WAIT! Don’t go. Get your camera crew ready because Butch is back! And he can SEE again!!”
    “WHAT? Your dog can SEE? Well, WHAT the hell kind of DOGumentary film do think I could sell to anyone about a dog that can see? Guess I have no choice but to drive back home to THE CITY, which is 1,000 miles from THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, having wasted my precious time with your woodsy-outdoorsy-wildernessy-hunting dog-pancake eating-lifestyle crap!”.
    “Goodbye Steve. Nice meeting you! Gee Mark, that Steve FELLOW sure is a nice FELLOW, traveling all the way down here like that for nothing!”

  50. This Guy
    March 3rd, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#16):
    Prego porn goes something like this:
    F: “A 9-inch penis?”
    M: “It’s in there!”
    F: “An egg vibrator?”
    M: “It’s in there!”
    F: “Oregano and basil?”
    M: “It’s in there! Not sure why.”

  51. Arabella
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    FW: What’s the strategy here? Summer barfs on the floor, causing the opposing team’s star player to slip down and break her leg? I guess when you’re number “1″ you’re required to play, sick or not.

  52. This Guy
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: Notice they don’t follow up with “…and one for all!” The team actually exists solely for Summer’s benefit.

  53. tallyHO
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Victory Garden (#48): I may not have made it to panel one with a full glass.

  54. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie just got done doing an OB/GYN exam and now she’s chewing on her fingernail.

  55. debussy fields
    March 3rd, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    FC–Thel, your kids keep leaving puddles on the floor. Try hitting them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

  56. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Blondie-I would run. You wouldn’t be the first mailman that they have killed and buried in the basement.

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Fire (and food) safety tip of the day:

    “Yes, you can cook Ramen in the microwave by adding water and setting the timer for five minutes. However… if you forget the water part, it will catch fire. LFMF”

    Advertising Margo.

    my wish for Hil and Faye. (somewhat naughty, and thought-provoking.)

  58. NishaT
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I think “eyebrow” is a euphemism for Hi’s missing right hand.

  59. Will
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Heavy drinking day in the comics today.
    H&L: Look at that rocks glass Hi is holding. That’s like a triple.
    Zits: What kind of Scotch (or how much, maybe) is he drinking that she can smell it at the front door. Over the stench of Bengay?

  60. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

  61. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Dolly’s plan to poison PJ went awry again.

    @NishaT (#58):
    In panel two, Hi is playing pocket pool.

  62. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Comics are morphing today. Zits has become BB with the broken-down alcoholic General, Foob and BGSS have become Funky Winkerbean, Marvin has become Judge Parker, and Lockhorns has become Crankshaft.

  63. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#62): And Ziggy has become Mary Worth.

  64. Horace Broon
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Tomorrow’s strip: “Um, Dad, can … can we move somewhere really far away? With no cats? And not tell anyone where we’ve gone?”

    “Sure, Curtis. How about Flyspeck Island?”


    (Seriously, this is the plot of a horror movie.)

    HtH Yep, more Walker/Browne, as Hamlet gets some early practice in complaining that his wife-to-be is suffocating him.

    Marvin “Okay, I’ve got to pad this ‘Defence Attorney’ thing out to the end of the week … I’ve got one joke, but it’s really more contract law than defence … and doesn’t make much sense even then … Ah, the hell with it.”

    Pluggers: Pluggers memories are going, so when they watch repeats of Murder, She Wrote they’ve already seen, they think they’re solving it. (No wait, I do that…)

    RMMD: (Checks diagram). Okay, so the not-quite-assassinated guy was targeted because he sent by the stereotyped-Sheik to defend Randy from the beautiful female assassin, thus explaining why he was following Randy. Said assassin was sent by said Sheik’s son to kill all rivals for the hand of April. But where do the RV lot owner and Derek the guitar boy fit into all this?

    S4th: Hil completely misses why Faye doesn’t want a boyfriend and how that could make their lives more interesting.

  65. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#63):
    I’ll agree with that.
    @Horace Broon (#64):
    How Curtis developed crippling Ailurophobia.

  66. Ingeld
    March 3rd, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    H&L Barb is obviously thinking, “You had me at Hi.”

    Notice that Lois’ martini while full in the first panel is empty in the second. She obviously sucked it down once she realized how much a “playa” her husband is.

  67. Anonymous
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    There are clearly at least three different colors of checkers on that board, which gives me the delightful picture of them going through their button collection for things that looked vaguely round and carefully lining them up on random squares of the board, as if they would be granted knowledge of the rules if they only properly performed the Ritual of Setting Up.

  68. Alfred E. Neuman
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers— Is Brookins slipping? This may be the most inauthentic Pluggers ever. Where’s the La-Z-Boy couch? And what’s with the flat screen TV? Everyone knows that Pluggers’ televisions are always tube-type black-and-white Philcos. Using a styrofoam cooler box as the TV stand is a nice touch, though.

  69. Ukulele Ike
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#38): Wait, are sayinf Netflix HAS the entire run of “The Flying Nun” available???? ‘Scuse me for a minute…..

    9CL: This is rather surprisingly topical. As Amos and Edda are Catholics, did they forego birth control during their past couple years of rutting like minks? Did the ballet company not offer her birth control in her insurance package, as they are morally opposed to the idea? Why would an organization comprised of lithe and attractive young women who would be rendered unable to perform by pregnancy NOT offer birth control? Why would Edda and Amos, whom McEldowney portrays as intellectual giants, not be on the Pill if they were busy porking four or five times a day?

    DT: This sucks; I was hoping that the Mole would be able to subdue Thunderchild unaided. BTW, the “throat trouble” line a couple days back is a call-out to Mole’s original appearance back in the ‘forties, when he tried to strangle Tracy while saying “Now you’ll get what (I don’t remember who) got….THROAT TROUBLE!!!”

    Thank god Dark Gate is back. I was wondering why Alley didn’t realize that Ooola and Lola were wearing two different color dresses. And I missed Girl Genius.

  70. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    MW “You can’t possibly know what it’s like to walk in my shoes! How could you?”

    Nola dials up her torment of Mary, ridiculing her for her size 13EEE shoes.

    A3G Don’t get too excited, Scott. Nina’s not going to want to fool around with you while she is having contractions, no matter how great you think that will feel.

    FW I can see this is just a vain hope now, but I am so hoping they win the game then Summer expires.

    @CanuckDownSouth (#21): I can’t bring myself to pay enough attention to Crankshaft to keep track of the “mystery guy in a wheelchair” bits. Is Bushka supposed to mean something?

    Me, too. Mr. Bushka is Coach Bull’s father (grandfather?!), but I must have missed something with the Crankshaft connection.
    And, yes, it’s a fair question: Why do we care?

    @The Ridger (#36): Tommie is a mid-wife? Since when? About a week-and-a-half ago. She’s filling in.

    “Filling in.” Heh, heh.

  71. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

  72. commodorejohn
    March 3rd, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Uh, Josh, wouldn’t “Prego porn” have more to do with spaghetti sauce? In any case, yeah, this is slightly astonishing. (Still, at least it’s not 9CL.)

    BB – Every time I see one of these strips I find myself overtaken by a morbid curiosity at what underlies this sexual paranoia. Then I realize that I’d rather dig out my eyeballs with a rusty Allen wrench than actually find out.

    Crankshaft – Having not long ago visited my grandfather (as snarky and jovial a codger in his last days as he was when I was small) in the hospital shortly before his death, I’d just like to say once again that I hope Tom Batiuk spends his final years in a nursing home, the walls plastered with every sickeningly-detailed and obsessive comic about the decay of age he ever drew. I really do.

    Curtis – “And of course, if you ever tell anyone what you saw…you understand what I mean?”

    DT – ALDO! ALDO! ALDO! Who do I have to bribe to get Aldo into the ring?

    HOTC – I’m still trying to figure out how to build a time machine so I can get to December…

    JP – “Mr. Chibale may die because of me! Because, you know, it’s totally my fault that you put him in harm’s way instead of reigning in your asshole son, for being such a hottie and all that.”


    Mandrake – Yeah, don’t bother to check if the hard drive is intact or anything.

    MT – “Must’ve been the wind.”

    MW – “Oh, and these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”

    Momma – …I really don’t want to know what’s going on in today’s Momma. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to lead anywhere good.

    OBH – Puppet nature, red in felt and fuzz. Feh.

    Popeye – Okay, what? Did she seriously smash it into his face and knock him over backwards? Because I’m at a loss to explain this any other way. And let’s be honest, this is Olive we’re talking about.

    RMMD – Is this the Posing Awkwardly With Coffee Cups contest?

    Ripley’s – …yeah, that seems like exactly what you’d expect from Grand Malaise. (Also, that hair-dress is…some combination of utterly terrifying and inexplicably hot.)

    SF – And somewhere, shippers are busily interpreting panel two as confirmation.

    SM – “Well, guess I’d better see if they have TV around here!”

  73. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Hi and Lois have gone to quite the snazzy place for after-dinner drinks, what with the pega-unicorn painting on the wall. Just wait until they turn on the black lights.

    A3G: Mm-hm, James Doohan was quite the hottie by Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Thank you, Netflix Streaming!

    9CL: Finally someone said it, although Edda shouldn’t be throwing stones.

    M-Dawg: “At the very least could you get him to move a little further from my plumber’s crack?”

    S4th: I like the way Hil thinks.

    DtM: I don’t trust the look on Joey’s face. He must have added his own special ingredient to the mud.

    DT: Stupid “no firing your gun in a crowded arena” rule.

    S-M: Find who’s in charge and tell them you’ll leave when they let Thor back in. It would work with me.

    Luann: If having your friend shout pretentious gibberish and counting on the bully to be a quitter counts as “outsmarting”, intelligence has been greatly devalued.

    Agnes: The girl who always get sent to the principle’s office for not answering questions in class knows the concept of “ikigai”? Agnes needs a self-directed course of study at a more progressive school.

    Archie: Also, Archie put a hole in the bottom of the bucket like Mickey Rourke in “Diner.”

    FW: Pretty cunning strategy, actually. No one will want to block the girl who could blow cream of mushroom any second.

  74. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): pool party

    But, not Charterstone. *sigh*

  75. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#72): re A3G: Aptly enough, Prego’s ad slogan used to be “it’s in there.”

  76. BigTed
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Of course Hi raises his eyebrows when he greets Lois’ never-before-seen slutty twin sister. He’s thinking back to that time when she “fooled him” into thinking she was Lois, and taught him a few things he’d never done before — or since, though not for lack of trying.

  77. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#72): I’m surprised there isn’t more outrage at Gunther tossing off Knut so he can snuggle up to Rosarita. Yeah, Gunth, like you’re going to go the distance with her.

  78. NoahSnark
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Beetle Bailey was my first exposure to Alzheimer’s Porn. Thankfully they cut away before the General asked “Can I jump you?”.

  79. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#68): Huh. I thought that was the Pluggers’ old broken TV underneath the flat screen.

    @Ukulele Ike (#69): Uh oh. I hope I didn’t just send you on a wild goose chase without a golden goose band. I can’t know if Netflix has “The Flying Nun.” We don’t get it here. Netflix. Sadly.

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#70): A woman with 13 EEE shoes? Sounds like…sounds like…like…a…EVILSCARYCLOWN!!!

    @bats :[ (#77): “I’m surprised there isn’t more outrage at Gunther tossing off Knute…” Yucko. I’m outraged and nauseated. No glove.

  80. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Haha, I had forgotten this.

  81. commodorejohn
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#76): Heh, now I’m envisioning a Rachel-and-Leah scenario with the two, and it’s pretty damn hilarious.

  82. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#79): Sounds like…sounds like…like…a…EVILSCARYCLOWN!!!

    Have you not wondered why we’ve never seen Mary’s feet?

  83. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#70):

    Mr. Bushka is Coach Bull’s father (grandfather?!), but I must have missed something with the Crankshaft connection.

    I’m guessing that’s “Beanball” Bushka, heroic young Ed’s nemesis from his Toledo Mudhen days.

    And, yes, it’s a fair question: Why do we care?

    I got nuthin’.

  85. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#70):
    So that would make Summer the human Farley, and another martyr for Westview.

  86. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#83): Yes, even longer than one on a king-size pillow.

  87. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#82): Whaaaa? Oh. NO. ererrrrrrRRR KAPLOOIE! [sound of Baka's head asploding]

  88. Ned Ryerson
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Scotch and BenGay? Sounds like a mixer at The Villages.

  89. Ingeld
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    In Hi & Lois, the doorway to the left of the bar, magically disappears in the second panel.

  90. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Ingeld (#89):
    The cocktail party of the damned.

  91. Keaaukane
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Gunther’s finesse at not doing anything in a violent confrontation makes me think he might be looking for a role as Spiderman’s understudy. Somebody has to sew the costumes

  92. Optimus Prime Rib
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    “Do you have to raise your eyebrows when you say that.

    Interesting use of verb tense here. Past tense would imply this one time event having occurred in the moment caught by the strip. Present tense implies Hi is in the habit of saying this.

    My take on this is that this is a high class swingers club, and Hi is looking for someone to have a threeway. Lois doesn’t really know this. His look in the second panel shows his disappointment that his wife might not be happy with the “surprise” he plans on giving her later that night when Barb shows up at the room they are renting at this hotel.

  93. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    MW: Is this where we’re heading?

  94. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#87): I noticed today that Mary’s hands seem unusually large, too. And her hands are always very important in her conversation. Just look at her gestures today at Nola, as she calls her out.
    I guess if Mark Trail has his Fists o’ Justice, Mary must have her Hands o’ Judgement. And now Tommie Thompson has her Fingers of…. Oh, never mind!

  95. sporknpork
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    What’s with the painting on the wall of Pegasus? I think Hi and Lois are attending a Greek mythology-themed high-society key swapping party.

  96. Alfred E. Neuman
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#70) said: “FW I can see this is just a vain hope now, but I am so hoping they win the game then Summer expires.”

    In his never-ending quest to sustain his “It’s Called Writing” reputation, I’ll bet Batiuk has already considered giving a whole new meaning to “sudden death overtime”.

    Speaking of whole new meanings, if Batiuk and McEldowney turned their strips into animated internet cartoons, they could feature Summer and Edda in streaming videos.

  97. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Hey. Couldn’t be here this morning, because I was getting ready to go to Synagogue. And then I did. Then I came home. And now it’s afternoon. How time flies! Fun fact about this synagogue: they have food after. And there were whiskey shots!

    3G – “Scottie the Hottie.” I see they’re using less-read strips to try out replacements for Dennis Mitchell.

    Nancy – I hope Don Martin’s estate is getting something for this.

    Popeye – “Holy crap!” says Mister Bulbosa, just before he collapses. “I’m a Jewish stereotype, left over from 1930s Germany!”

    Family – “Mommy, PJ’s humors suffered from an excess of black bile, which I have purged.”

    @commodorejohn (#72): I really don’t want to know what’s going on in today’s Momma. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to lead anywhere good.
    I can assure you, with complete confidence, that nothing in Momma ever leads anywhere, period.

  98. Perky Bird
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    So how exactly did Tommie examine Nina? We didn’t se her pick up any latex gloves or a medical bag before leaving her apartment. Ewww…I think Scott and Nina might need to buy some new oven mitts and spaghetti tongs.

  99. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    MW-Really, Mary! Do you remember Aldo? You didn’t want him around you and now he is dead. Is it worth not having him around anywhere or do you miss him?

  100. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#98):

    Tommie just pointed her finger at Nina and examined her that way.

    MT-A better filmmaker would have more time scheduled than just a couple of hours. Ed Wood would call this guy a bad director.

  101. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-No, I could raise something else.

  102. Sparkle Plenty
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#28):

    MT: That’s what I was thinking, too. In The Voice of Bugle Ann the old hunters don’t even bother to follow the dogs. They just sit around the fire drinking and listen to their dogs’ distinctive sounds.

    (So glad that Butch made it back!)

  103. crazy fungus
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    A3G- as a bald dude, i wanna know whatthey Nina used toto grow shoulder length hair between panels 1 and 2-

    MT and MW-I Need to grab that 80 ft tall bobwhite quail from last Thurs MT and train it to eat carking women. Mary first, Nola as a dessert

  104. Snuggs
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Am I alone in thinking the words “hottie” and “Netflix” would seem less out of place in Mutt and Jeff than in this strip?

    H&L: I don’t think Hi and Lois’ marriage is in that much trouble, considering he only flirts with women who look exactly like his wife. Maybe he’s just attracted to Barb’s proclivity for wearing spaghetti straps, who knows?

  105. Proteus
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    I like the attention to detail in this Beetle Bailey. As we can see, between panels 2 and 3 Mrs. Halftrack has moved a red piece diagonally forward and to the right – a bold move, since she’s now threatened by the grays at her flanks and the General’s fully promoted black kings. On a 6×7 board like this, any difference in positioning could mean disaster.

  106. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Belated congratulations to Ed Dravecky and the other very funny floaters — another good week!

  107. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#28): Amen to that. I know my cats’ voices too. The evidence just keeps growing that Tommy is several bulbs short of a chandelier.

  108. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    S-M — Oh, gross. I knew the S-M version of Asgard would be a cockup, but giving it all the dignity and majesty of a set from a low-budget third-rate Thirties musical is a bit much.

  109. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @mstgator (#32): Does this have anything to do with musicians Toni Braxton and Dan Hicks? Maybe Tommie is hallucinating and thinking she’s made the big time musically …

  110. Calico
    March 3rd, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#101):
    “Could?” More like “Has.”

  111. Alison
    March 3rd, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    “A-3G”: Nina looks like she’s auditioning for the local theater’s broke-ass production of “Peter Pan”.

    “Luann”: I can see it pays off richly being Gunther’s friend and helping him out of a jam. You are rewarded by being told to get lost when a hot chick comes around.

    I’m rolling my eyes so hard at all the comments on other websites saying how wonderful Evans is for tackling the issue of bullying. Because bullied teenagers everywhere totally read “Luann” for advice. And also because Gunther’s plan to wiggle out of a beating is so incredibly realistic. Yeah, this arc is gonna help a lot of tormented people, I’m sure.

  112. Chyron HR
    March 3rd, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    JP – I wonder how long April is going to stay on the phone with “his excellency” before she realizes she’s been talking to Sasha Baron Cohen?

  113. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2012 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#111): As far as these other comments on Luann go, I guess there are a lot of people out there that never actually went to high school.

  114. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#112): The tipoff will be when he asks, “So tell me, does your vazhin hang loose like sleeve of wizard?”

  115. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    March 3rd, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    I’ve had chess games that have gone on for days (because I’m terrible at chess), and Risk games that have gone on for weeks, but the only explanation I can think of for a checkers game lasting twenty years is that the General and his wife keep interrupting it to do it non-stop since 1992. His senility haze has let up just long enough for him to realize he hasn’t been boning Miss Buxley all this time, and that he still isn’t dead yet. Hilarity!

  116. 150
    March 3rd, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    How in crap is Nina even able to say the word “Netflix” while wearing that shirt??

  117. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-What that was you I was fooling around with? The woman I remember fooling around with was young and attractive.

  118. seismic-2
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: “It sounds like a dog barking.” Then it must be rodent flatulence. I’ve been reading Mark Trail long enough to know that if the word balloon seems like human speech, then it’s coming out of a duck’s mouth, and if it seems like a dog’s barking, then it’s coming out of a chipmunk’s ass.

    PBS: I’ve found this series of strips to border on pandering, but this one was just plain funny in spite of that.

    A3G: What is Braxton Hicks contractions? I don’t know all the applicable rules of grammar, but I suspect it’s probably something like Brack’s.

  119. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Scotty the Hottie? Excuse me but I threw up a little in my mouth.

  120. gleeb
    March 3rd, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Sally: She may bear Sally’s gene’s, but she’s definitely Ted’s child.

    Slylock: On the left: it’s a ragdoll. On the right: he’s paralyzed.

    Adam: Sorry, kid, but Mom’s stoned. Still, no Adam and his hideous nose, so a good strip.

    Alley Oop: These guys probably need the help of Oliver Sacks, or some other competent neurologist.

    ‘shaft: Bull, or some other damn Bushka sees his plan falling into place. Soon (I hope) he will pull the rug out from under Ed and see him ruined utterly. Gad, that’d be nice to see.

    ‘bean: A hollow Summer will soon be dry-heaving beside the court. Almost as good as my “Creepy Les gets robbed blind by Darrin” scenario.

    H&J: Hepcat curate admits that his entire existence in holy orders makes no damn sense. Surprisingly, refreshingly honest.

    Absolute Bullcrap: Today in Absolute Bullcrap, Gunther has not been beaten within an inch of his life by Leslie, Rosa, and Knute, to the cheers of the crowd and the delight of the children.

  121. Liam
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G-You know who you should spend the day with, Nina. Ben and Jerry.

  122. Baka Gaijin
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#94): Ok, that’s better. Clown shoes but normal facial makeup and bizarre manhands.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#97): Whiskey shots you say? Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    @Perky Bird (#98): Ha ha ha ew.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#113): These “Gunthers” see the conclusion of this storyline as the fairy tale ending to their high school days of swirlies, wedgies, name calling, and wistfully pining away for chicks (or dudes) way to far out of their leagues. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a beefwit, beefwit!

  123. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    FW: and so it begins…
    (Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?)

  124. Rixter
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#73): FW: Pretty cunning strategy, actually. No one will want to block the girl who could blow cream of mushroom any second.

    It may be even worse. I think Summer is past the vomiting, but soon the diarrhea will start. She’ll blow out the other end, and it won’t be cream of mushroom. They are wearing the black uniforms, aren’t they?

  125. Zerowolf
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    H&L: If this were a continuity strip, I’d vote Barb most likely to to get shit faced, make a scene, and spend the rest of the evening drinking cheap wine while sitting on the curb in her “fuck-me-boots”.

  126. Rixter
    March 3rd, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#122): normal facial makeup

    Yes, Mary uses Mary Clay products. How firm a foundation!

  127. Bill the Butcher
    March 3rd, 2012 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

  128. Comcis Fan
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    A3G: Scalloped-collar maternity blouses are a cliche, and a pre-90s, pre-Demi-Moore-nude-on-the-cover-of-Vanity-Fair one at that. Guess the cartoonists don’t know that pregnant women today wear form-fitting, belly-accenting knits, the kind that would bring disapproving tsks from Mary Worth?

  129. ElkMeadow
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    RMMD Foster wanted it to be a movie because he wrote the book as a screen play.

    PV Having lived out west, I wonder when they took potty breaks, or fed the horse, and that trunk looks like it was sawed, and that’s not where you stand when pulling a tree, and having said all that, I really enjoyed this latest installment. I just hope that when they find out what Oom did, that the Word will be rewritten on the Golem’s forehead, and that he exists until the next time it rains.

  130. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#128): Well, it was good enough for Lucille Ba… hey, wait! That means it’s TOMMIE who should be wearing one of those ghastly things!

  131. Dennis
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    BB: a nation sleeps peacefully knowing that senile men stand ready to do violence on their behalf

  132. Droopy Says
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Against boredom the gods themselves contend in vain.

    FW: This is the plan? Infect the opposing team and hope they all drop dead?

  133. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#132):
    Yes. In this exciting episode, The Wacky Web Slinger twiddles his thumbs in an empty hallway.

  134. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    “To a Plugger, a “person of interest” has been with him for 50 years.”

    Then that means that a Plugger is a plug-lovin’ criminal. Arrest that Dog/Chicken/Cow! Don’t let it get away!

  135. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Wow that took twelve minutes for something to happen. One moment it was the Saturday strip and then bada boom bada bing!

    Nothing continued to happen in the Sunday strip.

    Oh, some long haired dude caught a flying hammer and then nothing continued to happen.

    I’m sure in the next episode, entitled, The Spell of Loki, Loki will spell his name as Spiderman is standing there with his hands in his pajama pockets.

  136. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    Mw: The last panel clinches it: Nola’s always on top of things. Always.
    Get on the Nolatrain, Mary. The train is leaving the station and you, sweet meddling old fussbucket, are at the station. Standing there twiddling your thumbs with Spiderman’s, in his pajama pockets, while Nola is riding the top of the train to N.O. LA…probably…possibly…

    Oh, dammit. When is Nola just gonna take over the dang strip? The way it is currently going makes it seem like Mary is going to overcome the Awesome Mighty Morphin Power Hussy and that isn’t necessary because it is the 21st Century. And, Mary is, like, so totally, a survivor of the Dark Ages of 1950s television soap opera drama.

  137. Carly
    March 4th, 2012 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    Ha ha, it’s funny because the folks at WBAHI, LLC don’t know what “this game” is or how to play it, either.

  138. Citrico
    March 4th, 2012 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth’s speech about harming others, combined with the strips’ content in several arcs, makes me think that Mary’s more disappointed that Nola hasn’t figured out the best way of all to get what you want: convince people to harm themselves, that way they can’t pin it on you.

  139. ElkMeadow
    March 4th, 2012 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    Only thirty-six more postings of Sailor Twain….

  140. Baka Gaijin
    March 4th, 2012 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#136): I would watch “Awesome Mighty Morphin Power Hussy” at the theater, even Imax.

  141. Baka Gaijin
    March 4th, 2012 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    I wondered why Mrs. Halftrack wore her fur coat and pimp hat. Now I know. For a tired lame punchline.

    Curtis you putz. Gunk is trying to pull one over on your ignorant ass. That’s really Welsh he’s writing.

    One time I have to agree with Reed Hoover. Sunday’s Pluggers is it.

  142. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    Some should edit the last panel of this and cut and paste Andy Capp in every comic from Saturday (or from beyond).

    He’d fit in pretty good at Hi and Lois’ soiree, right in front of the punchbowl.

    Oh, hell, Andy Capp should be in every comic. He should be walking behind blind dogs, fighting tigers, ogling oldies, puking on chicken people’s chicken feetles (*),
    outdrinking generals, out quarreling Lockhorns, though not scaring small cartoon characters (that’d be wrong–maybe Mr. Wilson though, etc. etc.

    Between Omni-present Andy Capp and Awesome Mighty Morphin Power Hussy comic strips can again achieve heights of greatness.

    (* “feetles”… it could be feet. it could be eggs. it could be both.)

  143. tallyHO
    March 4th, 2012 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    Heh. The panel for Andy Capp:

    Hell, any Andy Capp could be cut and pasted in any comic, even the adventure strips.

  144. Edwin Herdman
    March 4th, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s strips:

    Beetle of the Bailey:
    Yeah, Halftrack’s look of horror is the kind reserved for the moment when somebody spots their grandparents having sex, but not only might be be staring past the borders of his strip at his whole 61-year history, which never involved being young or getting out of his uniform.

    Forget the juice, let’s see if we can do something about those misshapen heads – jump in the blender! (I wonder if, now that Jeff Keane is co-creating the strip, Jeffy will be less of a running gag..?)

    Frank & Ernest:
    I just can’t get over how they both appear to have melted in place with their stubby right feet extended in place. Keep on yeastin’ – it really serves the purpose of this strip :)

    Bad touch. Very bad.

    I learned that the Grumpy Piker’s Hall of Fame still cares enough about appearances to find a picture of Ed from his youth – or perhaps they were looking for new and innovative ways of riling up Ed with a subtle reminder that he will never reclaim the days when he was wrinkle-free and far less cynical.

  145. Michael W
    March 5th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

  146. Chowder
    March 6th, 2012 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    It occurs to me, with these last couple of A3Gs, that I can’t remember the last time I saw Tommie wearing an expression aside from dull-eyed befuddlement. What’s their game with all this “smiling” nonsense now?

Comments are closed for this post.