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She’s not going to be ignored

Apartment 3-G, 11/16/07

And then Apartment 3-G, was all like “Oh hey didn’t we have this whole thing going where we were broadly hinting that the Professor had this obnoxious much younger girlfriend?” Now of course, the man in the camel-hair suit must choose between a pair of unappealing extremes, which should make for good fun for a day or two. I’m hoping for a Fatal Attraction style scenario myself. “Oh, Ari, I was screaming at the top of my lungs because I thought that maybe you were stepping out on me and I was going to have to stab you to death. But now that you’re here, I know it was just a silly figment of my imagination! Say, who’s the touring-company Blanche DuBois over here?”

Judge Parker, 11/16/07

OK, this has been bothering me ever since the bottled water angle came up and I haven’t said anything because it’s not funny but … but … HEY SOPHIE! YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY? IF WE HAD SOME WAY TO GET CLEAN, POTABLE WATER TO JUST ABOUT EVERY HOME IN AMERICA THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE BOTTLES OR TRUCKS AT ALL! LIKE, IF IT COULD JUST FLOW THROUGH PIPES OF SOME SORT! HUNDREDS OF GALLONS LITERALLY ON TAP AT ANY TIME FOR A COUPLE OF DOLLARS A DAY! WITH NO BOTTLES TO THROW OUT AND NO FOSSIL FUELS USED IN TRANSPORTING IT! I KNOW, PIPE DREAM, RIGHT?

Okay, no more of that, I promise. But still … edible fucking bottles? Honestly.

Family Circus, 11/16/07

“Mothers are supposed to beat their children when they disobey. You’re weak, Mommy, just like Daddy says, just like your crying little daughter over there. Weak.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/16/07

“And always wet your hands before you handle a trout!”

“And always wet your hands before you handle a trout!”

Honestly, I … I don’t even know what anybody expects me to say about this stuff anymore. At least the unpleasant pederastic overtones have been removed, since Niki now appears to be approximately 25 in that final panel. Fish on, fellas.

375 responses to “She’s not going to be ignored

  1. Matt Ramone
    November 16th, 2007 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    I just hope we don’t see any Apartment 3-G vag.

  2. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 16th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    POST NUMBER 1337!! w00t!!1!1

    Also, check out the stilted dialog in Family Circus. “You’re to write…”?

  3. Ogg Ogglesby
    November 16th, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    How long before Sophie realizes Sam has abandoned her in the airport?

  4. Anonymous
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Gosh, maybe Sophie could proposed a system wherein people would pay a small deposit on water and soda pop and milk type bottles and the bottles could be redeemed for a little money, and washed, sterilized and reused, thereby saving the environment and giving small children a method of making their own money. But I guess that’s only an idea that would work in a far-off utopian future society.

  5. Perky Bird
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Has Sophie forgotten that plastic water bottles can actually be recycled? They don’t have to be tossed away into landfills.

  6. Gal Friday
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    JP: And yeah, Sophie, what’s your carbon footprint?!

    MW: Yes, pets are great stress relievers–except when yours wanders off, is injured, and is then “adopted” by a white-haired broad in a magenta bike helmet.

  7. The Grandstanding Oddball
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    I tried to tackle the bottled water issue on my blog. People don’t take to kindly to being told that bottling water and trucking it hundreds or thousands of miles is bad for the environment. The most common response was, “Oh, yeah? Well, my tap water doesn’t taste as good as Fiji water! What do you say to that, smarty-pants!”

    What the HELL is wrong with Sophie’s face? I appreciate that she never seems to be tarted up ala Foobville, but really.

  8. HammerGirl
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    So does COTW go to Rex?

  9. Spunky N. Tadpole
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Well, whatever was causing those awful metallic “Screeeee…” sounds in the last A3G strips can’t have been all that awful; I mean: look at Gina’s face in panel 3: does that look like a gal in danger? Trouble?
    Looks more like Gina’s been having a little “heart-to-heart” with her “close friend” – you know him: “Buzz”….?

  10. mattt
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    FC So, the Keanes apparently live in some kind of office building or lab. Check out those ceiling tiles.

  11. Sharktattoo
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Look at that sly smile on Rex in panel 2…oh, how fortuitous that he has a digital camera with him…on a fishing trip…with a young man…

  12. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Looking for lasting business sense from Sophie smacks of the nation voting for George Bush twice! She’s 10 for God’s sake, what did you expect? Like the nation, Sam is in for a rude awakening on the bankrupting costs associated with edible spincoal containers. As sure as 30% equals a third, Sam’s personal guarantees will drag him to ruin.

  13. Niall
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    I hadn’t noticed the ceiling tiles. Good call.

    And what Josh, no word on the bizarre strip in lieu of Slylock? It’s not an error, it has Weber’s signature on it…

  14. AhClem
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Judging from Gina’s face in that last panel, I’m pretty sure that “SCREEEE!” was the sound of the motor bearings in her vibrator seizing up from overuse. More 30-weight, mule!

  15. Mack
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Rex’s trout line probably wouldn’t be so creepy if it weren’t preceded by that panel of him looking down so demurely. Or, you know, Niki with the face of Joker-like eagerness.

  16. ltrftp(not so first time)
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Eight days since the surgery, I had stitches removed today.*

    Reading this blog and being unable to type is quite frustrating. I have actually had time to read ALL of the comments. I literally had to stop at times from pain of laughter.
    Thank you all for helping in the “Laughter is the Best Medicine” department.

    I cannot find it now, of course, but the “hurling puppies exchange was the creme de la creme.

    * I had a torn rotator cuff, butst bursal sack and a bone spur in my shoulder. When they opened me up they discovered a torn bicep as well.

  17. gkl
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    FC: If 20 sentences is the extent of punishment in the FamilyCircusVerse, then I’d very much like to step into the comic strip and start administering a few beatings myself.

  18. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Is that Tommi in panel one doing her Lars and the Real Girl impersonation?

  19. Pozzo
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    “But I didn’t hit my sister twenty times; I only hit her once.”

    I’m actually surprised they didn’t use that punchline.

  20. Biiirdmaaan!
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Aaand… Skullturf beat me to it.

    Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

  21. AhClem
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    #9, #14 -
    Looks like Spunky N. Tadpole beat me to the battery-operated punch.

  22. Godzooky
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    JP: Won’t the natural result of eating chocolate bottles be just as bad or worse for the envoronment than plastic bottles?

  23. AhClem
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    #16 ltrftp(not so first time) -
    Glad to hear you’re on the mend. The hurling puppies exchange was #145 and #159 yesterthread.

  24. Rotten Arsenal
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Thel should actually CHECK ON Dolly… she’s projectile crying and I don’t think the human body is supposed to work like that.

  25. Muse of Ire
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Dp people in America really say “flat”? Even if they’re ambiguously Greek like the professor?

  26. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    JP — Josh, that was great! The only thing I have to add is that the woman on the left looks like she could be shilling Woolite right after the commercial with Miss Hotpoint Appliance 1957.

  27. Islamorada Girl
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    And in Saturday’s 3G, when you discover why Gina is screaming and who she’s screaming at, you will be as disappointed as ever.

    Sat’s Mary Worth on the other hand, made me want to hurl the whole newspaper across the room while I screamed like Gina.

    Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

  28. Muse of Ire
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Oops, that’s “do people in America. . .”

  29. Bootsy
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    I must say an action-packed scream scene in A3G really should involve a lot more head bobbling.

    Josh, I too was dumbstruck at the “And always wet your hands before you handle a trout”! I’ve heard that (not that I fish or handle trout, or… wait, this is not going as I meant it to sound) but I always thought it was an old wives’ tale. Well, coming from Rex, I guess it is.

  30. Noah
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Edible and renewable. Um, eww.

  31. Mike
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    #29 Bootsy, I’m not sure where you’re from but around here we actually call them “old queens.”

    That said, I’d totally tap aged-up 25 year old Niki — wet hands or not.

  32. Al
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Josh — A “Golden Girls” reference AND a bad pun about water pipes? This must be my lucky day (said in a bad Sean Connery voice)…

  33. SatanicMechanic
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    WOOOO YES! Way to go, Josh! Thanks for the environmental message (Environmental message + Mocking stupid comic= Joy)!
    Heres a link for any interested mudgeons:

    http://www.mysigg.com/

    Indeed, they are very cool.

  34. Girl Reporter
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Sorry to carry this subject over from the previous thread, but I was in the middle of writing this when you all left the room!

    A few cross-generational sketches:

    1) Sometime in the mid-’90s I saw a play at Steppenwolf in Chicago that was something or another about the Kennedy assasination. Don’t remember too much about the play because it was mostly the whole cast sitting behind a long table on stage taking turns long-monologue-ing at the audience. Laurie Metcalf was in it. At some point they cued up the Magruder film. For me, it was the only few minutes of the whole hours-long slog with any real emotion. At the post-mortumplay discussion with my group, I remember somebody’s 10-years-younger friend being very dismissive of the Magruder moment being anything but some grainy B&W history that had absolutely nothing to do with her. I was a little shocked. I have no direct memory of Kennedy – I was only a baby. But her flippancy sounded almost, I don’t know, sacrilegious.

    2) I was touring with a children’s theatre company, and as we packed up our set and props and said goodbye to the assembled children, the principal wheeled a cart with a TV into the gym. Next up after us they were all going to watch the First Teacher in Space get launched. We were gone before the moment when all those bright, shining faces watched the Challenger explode.

    3) I once took a class where everyone but me was fresh out of college. On the first day, we each had to get up and give a short speech about the first big piece of history in our memory. Everybody else got up one after another and spoke about the Challenger. My memory was the photo of the little Vietnamese girl running naked down the road, crying because she was burning. I told how that was my first inkling of parallel realities, because how was I was born safe and sound in Suburb, USA and she was born in Vietnam.

  35. SatanicMechanic
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    #29 Bootsy

    Actually, from what I recall from handling trout (yeah, me neither!) is that it IS actually true you should get your hands wet first. Something to do with the scales cutting you open and causing you to bleed massively? Maybe I’m wrong.

  36. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    “You’s befuckled Moms, ain’t hitting when I use an open hand!”

  37. NinaPetrovna
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    This week’s Mary Worth strips appear to have been phoned in by somebody who was simply reading the Humane Society Desk Calendar, page by page, and jazzing each page up by tossing in somebody’s first name: “Toby, research indicates pets have the power to promote healing and prolong lives!” “… pets give us something to focus on besides ourselves, Mary!”

  38. Random_Tangent
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    You want to talk weak? Dolly’s holding up pretty well for being hit 20 times. I think Jeffy needs to work on his follow-through.

  39. Lord-z
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Blast. All the good Gina-Vibrator jokes have been taken. Though I find it scaring that she is apparently still using it while she is answering the door. Does she have no inhibitions?

    I was sort of hoping that the scream would be Margo, looking in the mirror and noticing a grey hair. Or Lu-Ann, accidently turning to a PBS show about the war of independence, and being afraid of what would happen if the british won, this time.

  40. Pozzo
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Bootsy –

    Did you get to see “Godot”? How did that go?

  41. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    #34 Girl Reporter — Re your memory (3), that girl is now 44 and lives not too far outside Toronto.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Phuc

  42. Isaac
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    The leitmotif of the creeping gigantism of the Keane parents continues in today’s strip. I’ve just done a little post about it on my blog, where I’ve tweaked the art in today’s strip slightly to highlight Mrs. Keane’s gargantuan proportions.

  43. Sal Paradise
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    MT : Mark Trail Fight Club

    1. The first rule of Mark Trail Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Mark Trail Fight Club.

    2. The second rule is you are allowed to use an axe if you don’t have any facial hair. (It’s only fair.)

  44. ltrftp(not so first time)
    November 16th, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    AhClem #23
    Thanks!

    Josh
    Loved the MT Theater.

    Btw, I am 53, my eldest son is 5, my youngest turns 3 tomorrow.

  45. Nekrotzar
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Wait, does that mean that plastic water bottles are not actually edible?

    Uh oh.

  46. PTrig
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Why did Dolly get hit in the wrist? I think it might have to do with trying to get a knife out of her hand. Billy, don’t listen to your mother. Use any means necessary to get an approaching knife out of your sister’s hand.

  47. Minivet
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    13: Slylock Fox does switch it up sometimes, I think. God forbid the creator get bored and start turning out inferior strips.

    And it’s not so much nonsense as a blatant ripoff of Calvin and Hobbes.

  48. Randall
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    ‘How about if I only hit my sister 19 times?’

    That always got me a spanking.

  49. Perky Bird
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G-
    In panel two, the Professor is frantically pounding on the frame of the comic strip, trying in vain to escape like the guy in that Ah-ha video.

  50. Conor_ahearne
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    In the next Rex Morgan, Rex and Niki “pitch a tent.”

    Please make it stop.

  51. Little A.
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: “There isn’t a detail of this I’ll ever forget.” “I’m with you there.” Ahem. His hand’s on her ass and staring at it. Ahem. Ahem.

  52. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    I don’t want to overanalyze this BUT… normally Dolly would be looking on in smug self-satisfaction while Billy was getting his due and Thel wasn’t looking at her directly. From the way she is supporting her limp right arm it is obvious it is broken. Ergo, Thel and Billy are negotiating a plausible story (said “confession” document) to exhibit to social services in a cover up of Thel’s diet pill-induced misdeeds. Billy is pointing out the inherent illogic in a “teacher-like” coverup, necessitating another more “mother-like”course of action. And SCENE.

  53. The Grandstanding Oddball
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    I admire Toby’s attempt to imply that maybe Mary can meddle in her damn dog’s life from here on out. Gutsty. However, I hope Mary doesn’t intend to prolong her life using the dog’s healing powers. I’m quite sure that she can’t be killed as it is.

    Oh, god. Mary is going to turn that poor dog into a therapy dog, isn’t she? That’s the only thing I can think of to make her “rescue” (read: dog-swiping) any more self-satisfied and smug.

  54. some guy named jeff
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    RM: No, no no! Never take digital pictures! They’re going to be on your hard drive and going to foget about them and then one day when you bring your computer in to the shop to have whatever virus it is that you picked up from the NAMBLA site removed, the pimply faced tech is just going to turn you into the FBI. Don’t they have TV and newspapers in Rex Morgan land? Polaroids that you keep in a box under a floorboard in the closet is definitely the way to go. I mean, so I’ve heard. (Sheesh, amatuers.)

  55. Mountain Mama
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    *Pant, pant*

    Here I am! All caught up. The wedding went off without a hitch, thankfully, and baby sister looked beautiful.

    First of all, thanks to the folks, who acknowledged my TDIET! DH now will occasionally dash to the floor when he hears me outside, so he “won’t be made into a comic again.” It’s funny, but helpful, too!

    Mooncattie, you are a cutie! I still say when I win the lottery (Plugger savings account) there’ll be a huge CC party in Baltimore so I can meet all of you.

    The Mark Trail Theater was fantastic!! Thank you, Josh, for posting that!

    Happy belated, Commodore! I wish you smooth sailing in the year ahead.

    And finally, much to my disappointment, the AZ Republic announced the result of their comics poll. They’re keeping B.C. Really. The story said about 90% of responses were to keep it.

    “I’m livin’ with heathens!” (tm Sean Connery in the Untouchables)

  56. Spunky N. Tadpole
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    #14, #21, #39 -

    Sometimes, as they say, the jokes just write themselves…. and that goes double for the nasty snark!

    C’mon, I can’t have been the only one here to look at that strip and figure that Gina had been … umm.. “vacuuming the carpet”.

    Not on this blog, anyway!

  57. The Grandstanding Oddball
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    OMG. Les Moore? His name is Les Moore? I can’t even imagine that sheer smirkage that accompanied that revelation back whenever this comic came into existence.

  58. Loopina
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    I just noticed that Niki’s hair has turned brown. Have the rustic surroundings returned him to a more natural state? Or maybe he has mood hair: brown = happy, yellow = sullen.
    Also, are we to assume that Rex’s hands were already wet – well, of course they were.

  59. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    #51 Little A. – Oh, come now. They’re married; it’s perfectly acceptable for him to stare at her. What next, are you gonna complain if they start making out?

  60. cheech wizard
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Always wet you’re hands before you handle a trout.

    At least Niki seems to be on board with the program. Guy’s grinning from ear to ear in anticipation of handling some wet trouser trout.

  61. dyslexic dog
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Rex:
    Niki, I promise you that’s how we do it in New Zealand.

    TIP

    I use wet gloves when handling trout to reduce knocking off scales & slime and for better grip, although wet hands will do.
    Try this method out next time you wish to release a fish, and you will see for yourself how easy and effective it is.

    Happy catch and release fishing!

  62. Isaac
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    I’ve probably been staring at that Family Circus strip too much, but I just noticed that Thel’s right arm has turned blue for some reason. Possbly over-exertion? I’m guessing that writing sentences is only the last part of the punishment, and she has been whipping Billy for a while — but he’s got marshmallows in his back pockets.

  63. cheech wizard
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    FC – “But I only hit her twice!”

    ba-da-boom!

  64. Chocohol
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    “Is that a digital in your vest pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

  65. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    #61 dyslexic dog – Well, it’s good to see someone helping to standardize the use of “gloves” when handling “trout.”

  66. cheech wizard
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “Gina, what’s wrong?”

    “Oh, Ari, Ari, I just made the most wonderful discovery. Have you ever heard of a clitorus?”

  67. Little Guy
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    “Edible fucking bottles” — how kinky.

    Carrying over the generational bit –

    Kennedy: In utero. I’m a Border Baby between the Boomers and the GenXers.

    Reagan: In High School, found out when I got home following an after-school event and away from radio.

    Challenger: In college. Again, out of the loop as far as TV and radio. Took my fellow classmates about an half hour to convince me that they were not making a sick joke.

    9/11: Watching with everyone from work. Originally, thought of the 1940s plane that hit the Empire State Building as a comparison, saw the second plane bank and thought, “That news copter is getting mighty close to the building.”

  68. Little Guy
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, needed to add:

    Lennon: watching the Pats/Dolphins game (yes, children, once upon a time, the Dolphins were good and the Pats sucked) in the Orange Bowl, where the Pats looked like they were going to win in Miami for the first time in years. John Smith (pre-Adam V) was ready with the kick when Howard Cosell announced Lennon’s death. Smith missed, Pats went on to lose in OT.

    1970 Bruins: Mother’s Day, went up to Maine. Before teh internets and teh HD plasma screens, there were transistor radios, and a few people had them on their tables, and people asked what the score was. Got home to Boston in time to see Bobby Orr flying across the Blues’ goal.

    Oddly enough, this past World Series, our cable crapped out, and I ended up hearing Paplebon’s strikeout over ESPN radio — via AM skip in Buffalo.

  69. Sugar and Spike
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    doogle bloogle flarkmstungle*

    *Mark Trail, panel 3: Shouldn’t the Mountie be saying “Eh, eh”?

  70. Dennis Jimenez
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Ari, ARI!! I was just auditioning for my next role – a meaty part in a smaller independent film titled Paying the Milkman.

  71. McManx
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    RMMD- If you handle a trout, your hands will be wet. Rex, why don’t you just cut out the foreplay, it’s not making any sense to the kid.

    FC – Any kid asking for a mother of a punishment deserves whatever abuses comes his way. Of course, the worst punishment in this case would be to force him to read this strip 20 times.

    MW – I wish Chester would use his special powers and rip out Mary’s throat before she spouts any more platitudes.

  72. Concrete Queen
    November 16th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Holy crap, are they still on that fishing trip?! It’s been what, weeks now?

  73. McManx
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    #61 – Thanks. That’s why you use wet hands. I guess we were never instructed to do that because we always ate what we caught.

  74. Deena in OR
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    OT…does anyone know of an archive for 9CL that goes back more than two weeks? I’ve just started following and would like to catch up a bit. Preferably without purchasing books.

  75. dyslexic dog
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    John Lennon:

    Waking up for a very early morning job, I switched on my fun new shortwave radio and tuned to a BBC station. I turned up the volume so as to hear it while stumbling into the shower. The eerie in-and-out audio complete with screeees and squoools, as well as the announcers with British accents described the killing of John Lennon.

    The quality of the broadcast, the announcing of the time, hours away from where I was, plus my grogginess, led me to believe the BBC was staging a macabre radio play.

    It wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that it really happened. And then during the next week or so, with the constant mourning and the endless tributes, it seemed to me that the entire world “came together, right then, over him.”

  76. Edgy DC
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    You want to see some Thel fire up the paddy wagon, wait until the inevitiable smartass, “I didn’t hit her 20 times. I hit her 12 or 13 tops.”

  77. etho
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Huh. For, like, months now, pretty much since I started frequenting this site, my mind has been under the impression that Niki and Sam and Sophie and Trout-Handler all occupied the same strip, and that their respective stories were running parallel. My mind never specified whether it believed the strip was RMMD or JP, just that it was one of those uninteresting, bland looking soap strips that wasn’t as fascinatingly insane as Gil Thorp or A3G. I also knew it wasn’t Mary Worth because I had no memories of any of the above mentioned characters being gently scolded.

    But today, because they were both featured in the same post, I realize that they are completely seperate. That sort of turns my world upside down. I mean, not really, cause that would be pathetic, but y’know.

    Anyway, when “Handling Trout,” I’ve found that you’re best off wetting your hands with something water-based, like KY-Jelly or Astroglide. Some people swear by Probe, but I’ve found it’s way to thick to be suitable for “Trout Handling.” Obviously you shouldn’t ever use anything oil-based.

    And always, always, use a condom!

  78. Sharona
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Edible bottles? Genius! Choking down some sort of waterproof foodstuff after drinking the water would make the consumer very, very thirsty, right? It would make them want to buy a bottle of water.

  79. compass rose
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Ok – wet hands when handling fish – it’s to protect fish that you’re going to release. They are coated with a slime that is beneficial to them, and your dry hands might rub it off and then the fish would be vulnerable to disease.
    If you are going to keep the fish, it doesn’t matter, but you want to keep your options open until you get the hook out.

    As for RMMD, I’m not sure how much more inuendo they can get out of a fishing trip, but I am sure we’re going to find out.

  80. bubujin
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    Re A3G: I just assumed Gina discovered the big O. And that it didn’t require the presence of Ari.

    Re historical rememories: It would have been the Vietnam War. I was a youngster when my sister was imported–er, adopted–from Vietnam. That and watching the evening news body count reports while getting home haircuts in front of the TV.

  81. kitty
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Sweet yellow coat, Tommie. Is it tweed? Does it match your best petticoat? Is that mustard or jaundice yellow? Purchased at Talbots two decades ago, perhaps? No? The “poor didn’t want these” bin at Fraulein Maria’s abbey? Even Ruby looks upset by that coat and the woman wears giant bows in her hair like she’s a six year-old in a Christmas pageant.

  82. AMC
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    RM And always wet your hands before you handle a trout! You can use water, or a nice creamy, slippery lotion. And if the trout begins to jerk, just hold on tighter Niki.

    MW Pets give us something to focus on. . . other than officious intermeddling. And this prolongs life because everyone wants to fucking kill officious intermeddlers.

    Popeye The Thung that looks like he’s one big well-thung phallus now has Popeye saying it is, instead, a lickable bush. Has the comic section ever seen a chimeric Phallus/Vagina with such a complete and utter lack of sex appeal?

    I mean other than Michael.

  83. BlinkAndItsOver
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    To the tune of Eleanor Rigby:

    I look at Rex and Nikki fishing.
    I look at Rex and Nikki fishing.

    Dr. Rex Morgan,
    He took the lad to the wood where the water runs free.
    Something to see!

    Young Nikki hooks one,
    And Rex advises him firmly on horsing his rod!
    (That came out odd.)

    All the lonely anglers,
    Where do they all come from?
    These two lonely anglers,
    With rod tip up they come.

    I look at Rex and Nikki fishing.
    I look at Rex and Nikki fishing.

    Young Nikki lands it,
    And Rex will capture its bulk in a digital pic.
    Better shoot quick!

    Nikki corrals it
    And Rex reminds him: wet hands when you handle a trout!
    Helluva scout!

    All the lonely anglers
    Where do they all come from?
    These two lonely anglers
    Well, someone’s getting some.

  84. Lark
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G: ok there is NO PHYSICAL WAY that that could be the Professor’s hand coming out of the lower left-hand corner of panel 2 (unelss his elbow is at least as wide as Tommie’s shoulders.) Look at that fist. If that’s not a “Dawn of the Dead” zombie limb, I don’t know what is. The fact that several rotting fingers have grown into the palm is only further evidence. That explains the screaming, but not so much why this particular zombie would possibly want to match outfits with the Professor. Especially in his Friday creme brulee suit.

  85. BlinkAndItsOver
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I’m an idiot, one “k” in “Niki.” Well obviously, it’s much more butch that way.

  86. Cranky
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry Niki, I meant my HIP pocket. That’s it. Keep digging around in there. Yes. You might want to wet your hands first.

  87. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    #85 BlinkAndItsOver — Indeed. Just ask this guy.

  88. Nil Zed
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    cribbing from little guy

    Kennedy: In utero. I’m a Border Baby between the Boomers and the GenXers. DITTO . OK, well pre-utero even. (I remember before the Gen X book came out, we were referred to as the Baby Busters because of the drop in numbers.)

    Reagan: home from school on a snow day, watching TV. I think they broke into Richard Simmons, or maybe we were watching an old movie.

    Challenger:at work, we’d brought in a TV to watch the launch.

    and for cheerier space race stuff, I remember my parents letting us have coffee and walking us round the living room to keep us awake enough to see the moon landing. I don’t remember the landing itself, just the being kept awake.

    9/11: heard it on the radio, living in CA, so was only half listening while getting kids ready for school. We were a TV-less house at that time. Our PC wasn’t capable of streaming the footage. Days later I went into my husband’s office and watched it in the fits and starts his work computer could manage.

  89. Islamorada Girl
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Confidential to Dimestore Lipstick, re “Beowulf “and Kenneth Turan.
    I heard that interview on NPR this morning too. I don’t think even his scathing putdown truly did justice to just how unintentionally, howlingly, awfully funny this film is. “Beowulf” is like a parody of itself and every sandals and sorcery film ever made. If you want some great snark and some good laughs, wait until it comes on cable in six months. I wouldn’t pay money to see it. Also, it looks as if it was filmed in Urinevision, as my fanboy companion said. I haven’t laughed at a bad movie so much since Exorcist II before the re-cuts.

  90. Lark
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Deena: http://chron.com/comics

    Sometimes you have to click refresh before a specific day will load. No idea why.

  91. The Avocado Avenger
    November 16th, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    #85 Blink & RMMD: Hey, if it was spelled “Nikki”, we could do dozens of “Darling Nikki” jokes. Rats.

    True Fable, yesterthread: Thanks for the encouragement sweetie. I was surprised about the BC joke, I guess because here in Kansas we have a lot of oil pumps and they all look extremely rude. Expressing love to an oil pump has so much more comedy potential than what BC did, I was shocked — shocked! — that they ruined the joke so thoroughly.

  92. dimestore lipstick
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Islamorada Girl Oh, I’ve just gotta see that–old naked 3D fat guy or not!

  93. Gatorman
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    FC: Maybe if Dolly would have paid attention when Jeffy suggested stuffing marshmellows under your clothing to deflect just these types of blows, she wouldn’t be crying now. Maybe next time you’ll learn…plus I’m sure Jeffy is upset he’s NOT getting a spanking what with all the Stay-Puft Marshmellows he’s got crammed in his ass pockets.

    FW: Am I the only one that though the last panel of today’s FW was just a little too weird? Is there more going in the Moore house than we’re being let in on???

  94. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    BlinkAndItsOver: Was that your first song parody?-That was SOLID!!!

  95. Gabacho
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Apt 3G and Mary Worth – My hypothesis is that Gina was reading Mary Worth today and screaming at the bizarre banality of it all. Or maybe that was me.

    For crying out loud, Mary never focuses on her sad old self. She’s too busy interfering with the walking wounded of Charterstone. You want a dog, Mary? Dawn Weston needs a home.

    Sally Forth – You disgust me now, Ted. You’re out of the club.

  96. Tony
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    I just like that The Professor calls himself “The Professor” to his girlfriend.

  97. Cedar
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

  98. Rusty
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    #25: People in the US most definitely do not call an apartment a flat, unless they are Brooke McEldowney.

    93: I too was weirded out by Les getting a little too close to his daughter there. I assume Batiuk he trying to portray some type of goofy “my dad always embarrasses me in school” vibe, but it sure looked creepy.

  99. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Anyone for a rousing game of Squack? It’s ON!

  100. Mountain Mama
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    My name is Mountain Mama and…..I’m an amazon.com junkie.

    I do not like the underlying message that old people can’t be trusted to have sense with online purchases, but the siren call of amazon.com? Oh, yes, yes…….

    My Wish List is huge and it grows bigger everyday. I can’t control myself. I get some extra cash and there I am. Must. Read. Everything!!!!!

    And picking up an anticipated book and then napping? Guilty, friends and neighbors. Except for the fact that old lady has 40 years on me, that could be me.

    My name is Mountain Mama…..and I’m addicted to amazon.com. Thank you.

  101. Rusty
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Brooke Mceldowney or a 16 year old Anglophile.

  102. Jeff Rubinoff
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    If the unambiguously Greek professor learned his English in Greece, he might very well say ‘flat.’ British English is what gets taught on the continent.

  103. El Santo
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    “Beowulf”

    I read Ebert’s review where he assumed that the writers (which, by the way, include the infallible Neil Gaiman) were intentionally trying to make the movie cheesy. Fair enough. I won’t catch it tonight since I don’t know anyone else who has the same bad movie jones as me.

    However, I will say that I cannot wait until Mike Nelson and crew put out a Rifftrax for it.

  104. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    So…in another dimension, if I had an oxygen impared tire, would it be safe to say; I have an apartment…

  105. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    What Sophie seems to be missing in the whole edible bottles thing is that you would still need some sort of protective wrapepr around the outside of the bottle, thus defeating the purpose of an edible bottle, and — what a minute. What the hell am I talking about? Edible bottles?! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

  106. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Z_R: Remember those wax Co-Cola bottles from back in the day?

  107. Mountain Mama
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Hey, what about those little wax bottles that held syrup when we were kids? Those were at least chewable.

    Or perhaps I reveal too much……

  108. Mountain Mama
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Great minds, Red! Though I remember sickly sweet vaguely fruit flavored syrup in ours, not Coke.

  109. Spotted HØrse
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    {{w-w-w-a-a-x-x l-i-i-p-s}}

  110. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Yep, I ate that (saturn) and I likeded it.

  111. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    I ate the wax lips, too!

  112. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    I think this subject was covered before, but remember “dots”…I think that’s what they were called. It was a strip of paper that one would peel off to reveal little candies enclosed…maybe that was lsd…I forget.

  113. Mr. O’Malley
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    The term “flat” is used in San Francisco (at least by the older generation), but it doesn’t exactly mean the same thing as “apartment”. It means you occupy an entire floor of the building.

  114. Bobdog
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    All this talk of edible bottles brings back to mind the Taco Bell ad campaign from way back in the day when they introduced their taco salad — it featured a quartet of taco bell employees in split frame that collectively said (approximately) “A bowl you can eat?” — it was classic primarily because the shock and dumbfounded-nessof the African American woman who completed the phrase was palpable.

    So take that naysayers — the day of the edible water bottle will come — and it will be made out of that crispy, flaky taco shell-like substance Taco Bell has developed. Granted, like all other Taco Bell food-approximating substances , their will be some distinctly not quite right aspect to the water held within.

  115. Spotted HØrse
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Yep, Red, “dots” could be had at olde fashioned candye shoppes ala Farrell’s Ice Cream place. In retrospect, I guess I’m no longer interested in popping into my piehole something that has to be peeled off. Shades of Goldmember.

  116. Citric
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    GT: “Good thing we got a Ford Taurus, with its roomy trunk we can fit all the stolen TVs we want safely out of sight!”

  117. Marion Delgado
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    You keep out this, Thel! Sam and Louie and John paid me good cash money, and I’ll keep MY sister in line as I see fit!

  118. Joe Blevins
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Say what you will about Thel’s peculiar style of discipline, it WORKS. Look at their house. It’s immaculate. The kids are terrified of her. Notice that Billy is instinctively protecting his ass. Billy’s act of physical violence against Dolly receives a relatively mild punishment because, let’s face it, children are utterly replaceable in this household. But woe to the unfortunate Keane child who spills a Grape Nehi on Mother’s immaculate dusty-rose carpet. His ass is destined for a date with Mr. Car Arial.

  119. Pendragon
    November 16th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Rex, would that be “catch and full release”?

  120. Lily
    November 16th, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Yet another example of misplaced quotation marks: Clearly, Mummy Dearest Keane’s instructions were to write “I will not hit my sister 20 times.” He should either hit her just a few times so there’s no marks, or so much that she will be too cowed to complain. It’s the family’s secret technique for avoiding CPS.

  121. Fred P.
    November 16th, 2007 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    88, nil z

    Diana Spencer:

    Me and the old lady came home from being out Saturday night, and flipped on the tube to watch SNL. For about five minutes, we thought the news coverage about the death (which, unbeknownst to us, had preempted SNL) was the lead-in skit. We looked at each other and said “Jeez, this really isn’t funny at all…”

    Joey Ramone:

    I went to work early that day, the Monday after Easter, to get some shit done before the morons the co-workers arrived. I had on NPR as usual, and, as usual, they played a snippet of a song between stories. This time it was “Blitzkrieg Bop”. Cool, I thought, and turned it up. When the announcer came back on, he says “A seminal figure in rock history has passed away… Joey Ramone died last night at age 49…”

    The time was twenty nine minutes past the hour.

    Lynn Johnston:

    It had been a banner day. First of all, someone had brought in doughnuts that morning at work! And since we won the Flagstone account, the boss was in a great mood. He didn’t even holler once, and I bet there’s no way I would have seen that crisp twenty on the sidewalk if he hadn’t let us all leave ten minutes early- someone else would have snapped it up for sure! And wouldn’t you know it, but my scratch-off lottery ticket hit for fifty big ones! So with seventy smackers just burning a hole in my pocket, I stopped by the local watering hole for a cold one. And wouldn’t you know it, Tommy was handing out free drinks because it was his birthday! In fact, Lorilee was already so smashed she didn’t even seem to mind when I sat on the stool next to her and put my arm around her and kind of felt her up a little! And when I looked up at the TV, the news was on, and after some dumb story about some dumb cartoonist dying a long, drawn-out and hideously EXCRUCIATINGLY painful death, the sportscaster says that our beloved Tribe, the Cleveland Indians, had just won the World Series in four games!

    That’s when I realized that it was all just a dream.

    The Indians are never gonna win the freakin Series.

  122. King Folderol
    November 16th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    #10 – The Keane’s entire house has one big skylight for ceilings so that won’t miss one minute of The Rapture as it happens.

    #19 – I started wearing glasses when I was seven, and used to put them down glass side down a lot. This is before glasses had the scratch resistant coating, and my dad would get pissed. One time, he dragged me over to my glasses lying face down on the coffee table and screamed, “What is this?”

    With masterful comic timing, I paused and said, “Glasses?”

    Well worth the spanking.

  123. Zarathustra
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Obviously Niki’s transformation of facial appearance can be directly attributed to his catch of the day. It’s common knowledge that good old fashioned fishing can put some hair on a young man’s chest, but this bit of common wisdom for some reason never bothered to elaborate, “…and roughened facial structure, a prominent jaw, heavier eyebrows, etc.”

    On another note, Billy appears to be gesturing with a thumbs-up, perhaps giving kudos to Dolly for squeezing out tears from her own orange-colored hair. It is also worth mentioning that he appears to be scratching his ass, or perhaps checking for those marshmallows that come in handy so much for the type of beating which he is clearly provoking from his increasingly perturbed mother.

  124. pope priapus
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Please dear god make a wet handed trout tshirt. I am begging this time Josh

  125. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    MT – Hey! Hey! We’re the Mounties!
    And people say we Mountie around!

    Oddly, the Mountie-in-background in full dress uniform of the past two days has suddenly changed into what I believe is a US National Park Ranger’s outfit, no doubt on the hunt for missing pic-a-nic baskets. The least he (and the strip) could have done was let the brawl go on for another week for our snarking pleasure before breaking it up. Now we’re just gonna have four days of boring finger-pointing and complaining. AND, I take it, Mark won’t even show up in this arc?

    #55 Mountain Mama, I blush – keep playing those lotto numbers! I was thinking about the drive to Baltimore last weekend, and had nefarious side-plans to take advantage of Canada’s strongest currency levels in over thirty years by doing all my Christmas shopping in some wonderful Maryland or DC-area mega-mall. Alas, the weather forecast for the highways looked dodgy, and we’re now hearing stories of three-hour or more lineups at the border returning to Canada. So now I’m doing my shopping on Amazon and other online sites as well! Unlike FW’s Old Lady, I just know when to stop.

  126. King Folderol
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    #88 – I was also in a TV-less house during 9-11. My wife (then my girlfriend) and I worked together and left work at 2:30. We drove back to my place, smoked a bunch of cigarettes (back when we smoked) and then drove to my mom’s to see the footage that night. After seeing that, I deliberately avoided the TV at any guest’s house for weeks.

  127. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    #93 and #98, re FW – I got the same icky feeling with Les cosying up to his daughter for a school photo. They can pose for pics together anytime! Why bug the schoolbook photographer (who seems to have the job from hell)? The Ewww Factor of being Teacher’s Daughter seemed much worse to me than the Zits line about sharing Mom “in common” from a day or two back.

  128. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    John Lennon – I bought Double Fantasy the Saturday previous. That evening I was watching the Tonight Show – either Buddy Hackett was a guest or was actually the guest Host – I’m sure it was a repeat – and a news scroll came up with the news. I spent some hours that night listening to radio stations near and far, and I guess I feel that, for me, life in general was worse from that day on.

    I’m old enough to have watched the original Sullivan broadcasts in 1964, and I do remember my Dad telling me shortly before they arrived in American that I needed a haircut because “you’re starting to look like a Beatle”. What’s a Beatle, I asked…and I found out!

    9/11 – I spent a beautiful morning hiking in Cape Breton Highlands National Park in Nova Scotia. My car didn’t pick up any FM stations while along the Cabot Trail, and I pulled into the well-named village of Pleasant Bay for a very early lunch of fish & chips. Mostly I remember the amazing weather. There was some news radio station playing rather loudly, if somewhat indistinctly, and the fryer asked if I’d heard the news. “They’re crashing planes in the States”. New York wasn’t mentioned, and for some reason I thought first of Chicago. When I left the National Park at the Atlantic side, I recall seeing the flag by the entrance gate already at half-staff.

  129. Loopina
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    Re: 9/11 – not only did I not have a tv, I was working a night job. I came home around 8, watched Dora the Explorer, thought about going to sleep, and decided instead to do some shopping. There on the 50 tvs on display at Target, I saw the whole thing unfold – it was creepy, there were about 30 people (at least 10 employees) all watching, too scared to step away for a second.
    The plane that crashed in PA isn’t too far from me, and my parents were living in VA – my dad was working in DC (though not the Pentagon). All the phones were jammed, and it was at least an hour before we finally got in touch with each other.

    Historical? I remember watching Ronald Reagan being elected president. That was Back in the Day: when something happened, you *had* to watch it because it was on all 4 channels.

  130. Dr. Mabuse
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    FIRST big piece of history in my memory would be watching President Kennedy’s funeral on TV with my Mom. I remember she was crying, and I remember the black drapery over the coffin moving gently in the wind. I was only four, so I don’t remember any of the leadup, the news that he’d been shot, which is what people usually focus on, but I do remember the funeral.

  131. Loopina
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Um, I meant no cable, not no tv. Actually, I *still* don’t have cable – I get CBS, NBC, Fox, and PBS. Thus the Dora – it always made me want to go to sleep.

    FW: Big Nate does much better school picture jokes.

  132. SecretMargo
    November 16th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    93, 98, 123: As the son of two teachers in a small school district, I went to school in the same building as one of my parents from fifth grade on up and also had both as teachers (my father twice, since he was the only one to teach either physics or calculus). And it all went fine. Really. Like ripping a Band-Aid off, it is 9,000 times worse to imagine it than it is to experience. It helped that I was a habitually good student, but I think it was the professionalism on the part of Ma and Pa (we set up rules about who could help with what homework, etc.) that worked the best. I was mildly disciplined for talking too much in class by both of them (I have always been…loquacious), but that was about it.

    The key, I think, is that neither of my parents displayed the type of behaviour illustrated in FW. Way to set boundaries that will prevent her from expecting favoritism for being a “teacher’s kid” in the future, asshole.

  133. Poteet
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    # 107 — Mountain Mama, I remember those wax bottles, as well as the dots. But my tragic chocolate addiction was already starting, and while other kids experimented with various weird confections, I was already going hardcore for Hersheys and M & Ms. And no peanuts or almonds — just straight milk chocolate, though thin candy shells were acceptable.

    # 115 — Looking ahead to another Sunday as an unchosen one, Spotted H0rse, I’m wondering if I could maybe join you on your supersecret private float. I would just sit on the edge and let you do all the waving, and I promise not to snivel. Well, not loudly.

    # 88 — Nil Zed, I remember hearing two teachers talking about how Kennedy had been shot as I was leaving my grade school classroom. I walked home alone that day, wondering if it could really be true. When I went into the living room, I saw my mother crying as she watched TV, so then I knew it was.

  134. t007
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    #83 Damn you! I carefully sang your dang song to myself. LMAO!

  135. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    A FOOB question: Are we currently getting repeats of actual original strips from 20+ years ago? Or are these NEW strips that Lynn is drawing in an attempt to recreate her old style?

    Toddler Mike is irritating to such a degree this week – I’m finding it difficult to believe that this stuff made folks chuckle back in the 80′s or whenever. Would anyone find this child’s antics to be amusing? Does Lynn actually hate the kid so much as to work extra-hard on making him such a horrible little turd? Sometimes I feel I’d sort of like to be a Dad, but not if this is what you end up with!

    Maybe it’s the beer talking, but Toddler Mike’s behaviour leads me to speculate about how the Dennis the Menace franchise could reinvent itself if it brought in a little sister for Dennis. (No, Joey doesn’t count.)

    I’m missing some important detail here….oh yes! BEER. Must drink more beer.

  136. nineandsixtyways
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    #39 said, “Does she have no inhibitions?”

    Of course not. That’s why the Professor dates her. (And she carbon-dates him.)

  137. nineandsixtyways
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    #135

    I remember this strip from its first appearance, so some of the strips are reruns, some have a frame piece drawn by her assistant. (I just saw the CBC piece on Lynn Johnston, so I’m chock full of FOOBness.)

    Apparently she let her kids get a few years older before she wrote about them, so the early strips could well be The Things That Stick In Your Mind, which would be most of the awful things that Toddler Michael does.

  138. Buck Ripsnort
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Thank Odin I’m not the only one who thought the last panel of FW was creepy– but am I the only who thought Les looked drunk? Wait, who has the drinking problem, Les or Funky? Or maybe Les started after his wife’s death, and that’s why he’s in therapy?
    Cheez, a few more strips like this and I’ll start drinking seriously.

  139. Joe Btfsplk
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox – I know Calvin and Hobbes did a longer version of a similar joke once, with Dad explaining to Calvin how old movies and photos were really in color, but the world was black-and-white back then, and didn’t become colorized until the ’50s or something. Old paintings were black-and-white too, but the paint turned to color along with everything else, unlike old film images, which stayed black-and-white because they were color images of a black-and-white world. Mom was in the kitchen mixing something if I remember correctly, and Calvin came in gushing about how much Dad knew about stuff, and Mom was growling at Dad like, “What have you been telling him now?” Something like that. The joke may date from earlier times than that, but that’s the one that I remember.

    Mark Trail – Actually some pretty decent action today. I like how the Mountie doesn’t move to stop a fistfight until he figures there’s been “enough.” Hey, hey, take it down a notch there, fellas, you’re knocking over that shovel display, eh! Oh, and I totally called this one yesterday. Although, I’m sure everyone else did too.

  140. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    #135 and #137 — I agree that young Mike Patterson is especially bratty this week. However, portrayals of bratty behaviour can still make me laugh, as long as they capture some truth about life as a kid. I actually kind of liked the recent strip where Michael made an annoying noise through the mail slot that startled the letter carrier. Bratty though it may be, it’s precisely the kind of pointless destruction that kids do.

    It’s when Mike is 31 or however old he is now, that his self-centredness becomes harder to bear.

  141. The Avocado Avenger
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    #128 Mooncattie – The weather on 9/11 was simply beautiful. It was sunny and clear and crisp in a lot of North America, and it’s something I’ll never forget about that day.

    FW – Ah, I knew I shouldn’t have gone to look at the strip. Les is standing behind his daughter exactly like my creepy perverted nasty band teacher stood behind me in a photo for the newspaper. My band teacher even cracked, “Your parents are gonna wonder what I’m doing to you in this photo.” It didn’t help that he was the kind of guy who related to all the high school girls in one of two ways: he wanted to fuck them, or he wanted to humiliate them. To this day I thank the gods he wanted to humiliate me, it was the better of the two choices.

    The last time I came across that newspaper clipping I finally tossed it, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. Some days I feel that dementia can’t arrive soon enough.

  142. Poteet
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    # 141 — Avocado, I do sympathize. My band teacher in high school was totally into humiliation. On fall days when I feel a little down, I can always remind myself that I’ll never have to play or march in his band again, and it cheers me right up.

  143. Spotted HØrse
    November 16th, 2007 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    #133 Poteet:

    Looking ahead to another Sunday as an unchosen one, Spotted H0rse, I’m wondering if I could maybe join you on your supersecret private float. I would just sit on the edge and let you do all the waving, and I promise not to snivel. Well, not loudly.

    Poteet, please join me on my überdeluxe supersecret private float! It’s invisible, of course, as are we when we’re on it. I’ll lay in a supply of wax lips chonklit and butter tarts. Just try not to say anything too funny between now and then.

  144. Allie Cat
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    #141 – We had a creepy chorus teacher like that in HS – he was either inappropriately flirty or an a-hole and his mood changed from person to person. Thankfully, I got the a-hole.

    He came out of the closet about three years after I graduated. A lot of people were shocked – but my thought was – angry gay choir director? Hmm, you don’t say?!

  145. Toronto
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    JFK – don’t remember his death exactly, but remember hearing his casket was on a catafalque and getting it confused with catapult, and wondering why they’d be flinging this poor dead guy.

    Walt Disney – a sunny winter’s day in Northern Ontario. My mom was crying. My first memory of the phrase “lung cancer.”

    Bobby Kennedy: right there on tv, almost live, it seemed. We were in California at the time, so it was ‘close.’

    Apollo 11: All the neighbors came in to see our brand new 27″ color tv and watched it in our rec room. One giant leap for me.

    Pierre Laporte: The principal told us over the intercom in the middle of math class. Most kids didn’t seem to know what was going on, but it was as close to civil war Canada ever came to. Yeah, we had moved back north. 1500 miles north.

    Challenger: The switchboard operator put her radio over the PA at work. It got very quiet after that.

    9/11: I heard the news as I entered the office in the Canadian equivalent of the WTC, in a way. I figured it was like the B-25 and the Empire State Building, at first. Wrong.

  146. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    #145 Toronto – I want my body flung when I go. Load me up on a catapult and toss me out into Lake Superior, that’s what my funeral will end with.

  147. Trotzenbonnie
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    Poteet, Mountain Mama, Red Beangracks

    I just gotta tell ya….I ordered old-fashioned candy for my husband’s and his older brother’s 50/60 birthday party in June – candy cigarettes, Chuckles, candy necklaces, Pixie Stix, Nik-L-Nips* (the bottles with the syrup in them) etc and I decided to use the leftovers for Hallowe’en treats.
    Well, the old-fashioned candy was in a big basket with the usual suspects – gummy bears, peanut butter cups and the like….and the little kids went ape-shit over the old stuff. They tore into the Chuckles like I don’t know what and the Nik-L-Nips disappeared faster than K-Y Jelly at an old folks home. Really! I couldn’t believe it.

    Now excuse me while I go back and figure out why the hell you all were talking about old-timey candy…

    Nik-L-Nips Nik-L-Nips Nik-L-Nips Nik-L-Nips Nik-L-Nips

  148. Spotted HØrse
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    #143 (me):

    I’ll lay in a supply of wax lips chonklit and butter tarts.

    Heh! Poteet, that sounds frisky, somehow. Must be feeling my oats.

  149. Vince M
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    Where were you when Ezio Pinza died?

  150. dyslexic dog
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Ezio Pinza’s DEAD?

  151. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    #141 Avocado, I’m so sorry you had such a monster for a music teacher. Mine wasn’t as bad, but he definitely played favourites, and a poor schmoe like me struggling with a cello was definitely on the outside. I don’t remember him ever actually “teaching”!

    It’s been very interesting to read all the Memory Lane stories from folks over the past couple of days. It’s brought back a lot of memories of my own, often pictures that were long-forgotten. I seem to recall Bugs Bunny cartoons being cancelled for a Kennedy press conference! Yikes, that was a long time ago. It may well have been during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I don’t remember the assassination, but I do remember glimpses of the funeral on TV.

    I’ve gone back now to review the week of Funky, and am sort of confused by this business of the PA system calling the kids down individually to have their photos taken. Maybe it’s just a device to set up the lame jokes, but in my experience the classes were all lined up and the kids sent in for their photos all at once. I think we got our TB tests the same way!

  152. Herro!
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    When I was working at a fish lab, we had to wet our hands before handling them so their scales wouldn’t fall off. We worked with little tetras, so the scales wouldn’t have hurt us, but not having them made the little dudes more susceptible to infection and being chomped on by other little dudes (some of the fish were seasoned by millenia of evolution to eat anything remotely edible, including each other, and any injured fish was an endangered fish).

  153. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    I remember where I was when I heard that MAD Magazine’s Don Martin had died.

    Charles Schulz died just over a month later, and although I no longer remember exactly where I was when I heard the news, I definitely remember it being mentioned by the speaker in a statistics talk I attended a day or two later. (I was a grad student at the time.)

    There are probably very few cartoonists whose deaths are remembered by many members of the general public (although Disney was already mentioned here tonight).

  154. Dariaclone
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    I know I’m late to the “where were you” stories, but I just escaped work for the first time in 48 hours.

    Princess Di: Bennigans on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. Our waiter was enjoying telling people a little too much, it was odd. A woman fell over in her chair after he told her. I intended to go back there on the 10th anniversary, but my taste buds have evolved. I think Princess Di would be proud of my new and improved sefl.

    None of the other moments have a public place tied to them, but linger in my mind. For instance, for the Challenger: I was at school, but I thought it was a cruel joke because I had just told my teachers I wanted to be an astronaut (I even had an astronaut Cabbage Patch Kid). January 28th is also my brother’s birthday.

    One of my first national event memory is probably the Iran hostage crisis and the ’80 election. I remember a parade we went to a small town in Nebraska to celebrate the return of one of the hostages. It was also my first introduction to “100 bottles of beer” as a bar had a bottle of beer in the window for each day the hostages had been held. I think we sang it the whole way home. If I remember right my fundamentalist parents tried to get us to substitute coke (the soda) for beer.

  155. LTBF
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    The first famous person’s death I recall was that of Harry Truman. My dad came home from work and my mom asked if he had heard Truman died. Of course, at the age of five I didn’t know who he was, I just remember her saying that.

  156. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    Red Greenback, et al: Actually, I have never known the joy of the little wax soda bottles. Wax lips, either.

    To add to the generational historic remembrances:

    Challenger: I was in fourth grade, and I had without question the worst teacher to ever walk the planet. The rest of the classes at my school were either in the library or had the TVs on in their classrooms to watch the launch, but we weren’t. We were working on some spelling lesson or something. I was standing at the sink in the back of the classroom when another of the fourth grade teachers came into the room and conferred with my teacher for a minute, then left. My teacher looked at us, and I swear I will remember what she said for the rest of my life. She said, “Do you all know the Challenger?” We all nodded; of course we knew about the shuttle — we all wanted to be watching the launch instead of doing some boring lesson. Then she said: “It blew up.” And that was all. She proceeded to carry on with her lesson plan as if nothing had happened. Freaking idiot teacher.

    Kurt Cobain’s death: Standing alone in my den after school one afternoon, listening to MTV. This was back in the day when MTV still played music videos and it was part of the premium cable package. We only had basic, so the video came in scrambled, but you could still hear it all right. Kurt Loder was the one who told the news. It was only a month or so after Cobain had OD’d in Italy, and I remember thinking at the time of his OD that he wouldn’t be long for the world. I wasn’t all that surprised that he topped himself, but I remember feeling like something big had just happened anyway.

    9/11: I had an 8AM physics class, followed immediately by a physics lab and then an art history lecture, so I didn’t see it live. Some of the girls who came into the lab were talking about a bomb going off in the WTC, but it was still early yet and no one really knew exactly what had happened. The second plane hit right before the art lecture, and some students who came into that class were talking about a second bomb going off. My art prof had been in lectures all morning herself and had no idea what was going on, either, so she went ahead with her lecture and it wasn’t until afterward that we found out what was really going on. The professor apologized to us at the next class, saying that if she had known the scope of what was going on, she would have cancelled the lecture. I thought it was a nice gesture on her part.

  157. Girl Reporter
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    The Ruttles’ drummer is DEAD?!

  158. Girl Reporter
    November 16th, 2007 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    Wait, no, sorry. It was the Spinal Tap guy.

  159. Godzooky
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    May as well chip in with the “historical moment” memories:

    JFK: Was in 1st grade at a Catholic school, but I have zero memory of the event. My sister (two years older) remembers a tearful teacher and the students being sent home early.

    Challenger: Working for a Wall St. company, the news come through news terminals and spread quickly. There was a TV in one of the offices, we took turns checking out the reports and spent the day going through the motions in a state of shock. Of course, since it was a Wall St. company, took only two days for the sick jokes to start circulating. (i.e., What does NASA stand for?)

    O.J. Verdict: The news hit while I was in a reception area at a college near Harlem waiting for a job interview. Based on the news coverage and discussions with an African-American co-worker, couldn’t imagine any verdict besides guilty. That’s why it struck me when several African-Americans at the college and on the street cheered the acquittal. It amazed me how much they bought into Johnny Cochran’s image of white cops fabricating a case to stick it to a rich Black man rather than the reality (to me) of a egocentric Black athelete/actor who actively distanced himself from the Black community and killed his ex-wife and her companion in a jealous rage. While there have been cases of cops abusing their authority with Blacks, I still don’t think that scenario applies in O.J.’s case.

    9/11: At the time, lived in downtown Brooklyn, NY, but was oblivious to what was happening the first hour or so. As the first plane hit, had just entered the subway to get to work in Queens. By the time I got to my stop, the second plane had hit and the towers were burning, but I had no clue. Reading the paper, went to the express bus stop. Noticed more people than usual waiting, no sign of the bus.

    Was already late, decided to catch a different train to get to the job. It was an elevated platform with a view of the towers. Noticed the trains weren’t running and the platform was crowded, but, worried about being late, never looked in that direction. Gave up on the train, headed back to bus stop, passed by a car that had news radio. That’s when I found out.

    My mother and sister live in downtown Manhattan, so I called and they filled me in. Sure enough, right at that moment, the bus showed up and, without thinking, I got on with everybody else, still on the phone. Partway through the ride, my sister said something about a loud noise and the call cut off abruptly (turns out that was Tower 2 falling).

    Worried sick, kept trying to call back. The bus was blocked from going across the bridge to my workplace, so the driver just let everyone off. Walked up to a parking area, where a man following the news on his car radio told me both towers were gone. Looked south, saw a column of smoke in the distance.

    At the parking area, I was able to call and confirm my mother, sister, and niece were okay. Went through an odyssey to get back home (public transportation had been shut down), but no need to go into that here.

    So, for the most part, even being in the city, I found out what was going on second-hand, after-the-fact. That’s why I usually say I spent 9-11 at Ground 10 1/2.

    (Yeesh. I get long-winded sometimes, don’t I?)

  160. apostate
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Gil Thorp is truly one for the ages.

  161. odinthor
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Where Was I? — Let’s see, with JFK’s assassination, I was just a little tyke, and as everyone knows it’s always best to keep li’l tykes ignorant of everything that goes on in the world so that they can be as ill-prepared as possible for the realities of life. Consequently, all I was told was not to practice the piano that night. OK. Next morning, I was walking to school with a friend, and noticed that the flag was at half staff, or “half mast” as we always said in those days. The crossing guard, a busty red-haired pin-up type, was listening grimly to her transistor radio held up to one ear as a cigarette dangled from the edge of her mouth. Brightly, I said to her , “Look! Why’s the flag at half mast?” “I . . . I don’t know,” she said, hurrying us on our way.

  162. Gabacho
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp – FINALLY it’s making some sense.
    http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/custom/gilthorp/

    I just hope Cully doesn’t let Gil down.

    Mary Worth – I thought it could not get duller but I was wrong. I stand sit corrected. Why not just drop the dialogue if you can’t be arsed to write a plot?

  163. Gabe
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Zamboni: Liar. MTV was not playing videow in 94.

  164. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    159, Godzooky:

    For what it’s worth, the suite full of white jocks who lived upstairs from me cheered when OJ got acquitted, too.

    Your 9/11 story reminded me of a story one of my coworkers told me. He started at the photo lab I was working at about three or four months after 9/11, and he was a native of upstate NY. His first ever trip to NYC in his life was the week of 9/11, and that morning he was actually planning to go up to the WTC, but he stopped to have breakfast in the hotel dining room first. The first plane hit while he was eating if he hadn’t stopped for breakfast, he would have been in that tower (his hotel was only two or three blocks from the towers). He was freaked, for obvious reasons. After he got home from NYC, he made immediate plans to leave New York, which was how I ended up meeting him.

  165. Godzooky
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Re: RMMD’s “wetting hands before handling trout” tip. Shouldn’t Rex have brought that up long before Niki actually caught something? By the way, there’s no sign of wetness on Rex’s hands, but, in panel 2, he has to be holding the trout one-handed as he reaches for the camera.

  166. Bobdog
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    With examples the today’s installment of Rex Morgan, I’m surprised you don’t hear more from Christian Conservative groups on how the soap opera comics are unspeakably degenerate and pushing the “homosexual agenda.” Tinky-winki gets denounced for his purse carrying ways, his triangular head gear and of course, horror of horrors, purple-ness, but blatant metaphors for unnatural acts in our daily newspapers gets a pass.

    I could attribute it to the fact that these strips are the intellectual properties of huge media conglomerates and for reasons of political collusion, the Christian right turns a blind eye (while PBS, on the other hand, is the enemy) but by applying occam’s razor one would have to come to the conclusion that nobody reads these damn things except Josh, and by extension, us.

  167. Niall
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    145. Toronto: I kinda heard of the Pierre Laporte, but mostly remember the images in the paper the next day. I couldn’t understand enough to get properly shocked, and I think I’m glad.

    Funnily enough, I didn’t care for the OJ Trial – but I remember the beginning of that incident, or rather, I don’t. That “fateful” weekend of the White Bronco, I was at a SF convention in Toronto, meaning I was pretty much not paying attention to the outside world. I distinctly remember on Sunday at the hotel brunch seeing a white bronco splashed on the front page of a paper someone else was reading, but I didn’t see headlines. So when I next was able to have “news” on Monday evening, I was kind of way behind the whole thing. (I still think the media attention was way over the top.)

    Time for Saturday Funnies – colour edition (B&W not yet and I’m going to sleep)

    Ha ha ha! The first two panels of A3G go perfectly with several commenters’ guesses of a vibrator. Turns out it’s the living kind attached to someone else.

    Aren’t the absurdist Beetle Bailey gags supposed to be on a Monday?

    What’s worse, that Blondie features truth about movie concessions, or that Dagwood still falls for it?

    On Saturday, we see Dennis get inducted into the Cosa Nostra.

    It’s sweaterpuppies day in Jugs Parker once again, and Sam knows Sophie can’;t give him what experience can. No great effusions, he orders his wife to kneel in front of him. Sophie’s about to get an education, unless she hung around those areas of the internet as well as google…

    We may have Québécois in Mark Trail, but that’s definitely no Mountie. No RCMP officer would let anyone even start a brawl in their presence. Now, if Park Rangers let brawling occur… well, they’re not police, so they can’t really arrest them, can they?

    Mary Worth snarks itself: “All my pet projects involved people” indeed! We’re left with nothing much to say! (That’s never stopped this bunch…)

    I see the Phantom‘s Next Narration box is sneaking in outside of Sundays too, and this time mocks the kids with the obvious. Mind you, Tendai’s cruisin for a Phantom Bruisin. Has any kid ever received the Skull Mark?

    Okay, today’s Rex Morgan is completely innocent and innocuous if taken as a whole. And it looks like yesterday’s wet hands did indeed come in handy to actually release the fish. However, isolate panel 2, and we’re back into Bad Territory.

    So I See that Saturday’s Slylock Seems to Segue back to Sensible Situations. I guess I was unaware of the occasional one-off different strip such as Friday’s. Glad to see Mr Weber having the latitude to stretch himself!

    Zits is both funny and very, very, very sad.

    …160. Apostate: WHAT?? That cannot be right?? One for the ages indeed!!

  168. sangwij
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    As a point of little information, and even less interest, you wet your hand when you’re grabbing the trout if you’re doing catch-and-release. It’s less harmful to the trout.

  169. rich
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    “Always wet your hands before you handle a trout” has to be the most awkward pickup line since… well, since “Work them like a claw…and call me Randy!”

  170. True Fable
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    9/11 I was asleep, and my daughter called from school and told me to turn on the TV, that the Pentagon was under attack or something. Her teacher let her call me on her cell phone, since my daughter knows I’m a major news junkie and would want to know what was going on. She and I spoke for a little bit more and then she had to go. I sat in front of the television set numbly for the next four or five hours, and when the kids got in from school we continued to watch the coverage, expecting to see survivors emerge and stunned that there were hardly any.

    I sure miss Peter Jennings. He held it together for a lot of people that day, me included, with that quiet strength in his voice.

  171. Brick Bradford
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    #167 Park Rangers actually are the law enforcement officers of the National Park Service and they can make arrests.

    End of pedantic interlude.

  172. Brick Bradford
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    #167 Park Rangers actually are the law enforcement officers of the National Park Service and they can make arrests.

    End of pedantic interlude.

  173. Brick Bradford
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    Doh! The dreaded double post.

  174. Spotted HØrse
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Peemus envy rears its ugly head.

  175. Dub Not Dubya
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    Some of my earliest memories are of hearing talk about Watergate, but I wasn’t clear on what it was all about at the time, and I don’t remember when Nixon resigned. I do remember that we used to eat a fair amount of watermelon that summer, and my then 2-year-old little brother thought that watermelon was called Watergate because he kept hearing about it on the news.

    I had to think back to what my first big “remember where you were when” moments were. Probably Reagan’s shooting was the main one. I was in seventh grade, and some of us kids heard about it from somewhere at the end of the school day and proceeded to tell anyone we ran into who hadn’t heard. I also remember seeing the principal telling some of the teachers, and one of the teachers asked, in all seriousness, “Was it a Democrat who shot him?” I remember Lennon’s death because the middle school music teacher was a huge Beatles fan and had been teaching us about the Beatles around that time. So we all knew he would be terribly upset when we saw him next.

    Princess Diana: Weirdly (not Count Weirdly), earlier that evening at birthday dinner with my then-partner and her family, for some reason, her sister had been making fun of Dodi (for what, I don’t know.) Then when we got home later, there was the news that Dodi was dead. How strange. Then the news about Diana was reported while we were watching Xena. I had gotten up during a commercial to get a drink or something, and my partner yelled from the other room that Diana was dead too. We watched the news coverage for quite some time. At some point, some stupid talking head made the mistake of describing the event as a “crushing blow” or something like that, and we were floored but then started coming up with hideously inappropriate phrases of our own (none of which I can remember.)

  176. mumbles
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: So I guess with all the screaming and freshly flushed face, we are to ascertain that this was Gina’s first time?

    I forget who Neil is. Is he the dashing, temperamental artiste who’s way out of Tommy’s league, or the sweater-wearing nerd who typefies the kind of guy Tommy’s destined to end up with?

    (DT)GT: So someone wants Marty Moon dead. I’m torn as to who it is – the Ben Franklin golf grifter from a few summers ago, or the Milford radio audience.

    Seriously does Gil really think this ruse is going to work?

    Until this dumb idea dies its natural death, can we refer to this strip as (DT)MM?

  177. LTBF
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Foob is about as disgusting as Walt and Jeremy sharing Connie.

  178. True Fable
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    GA ATTENTION – ALL SNARKERS: Just how are we supposed to read “yo’?” I could see pronouncing it y’, as in “y’know” or “yo” as a possessive pronoun, “pick up yo’ coat, y’ damn hillbilly” but I can’t wrap my mouth around today’s sentences. “Trouble is yo’ don’t worry eenough, Rufus.” It should be Y’don’t, shouldn’t it?
    Like it matters, but still.
    (DT)GT And apparently (DT)MM, as Gil takes out a hit on the local radio personality scum.
    JP “You’ll have to do”?!? Sam, if you were a man I’d slug you for that. You don’t deserve hott action like Abbey.
    By Golly, I DO!! >:-)
    Unless, of course, his hand motion in the last panel indicates that he’s expecting her to perform oral gratification right off the bat. Well, that’s just plain rude. You can at least kiss her hello, you dolt.
    And wait a minute, wasn’t Abbey supposed to stay for a couple of days and shop for negligee with Neddy, and meet Cedric’s crazy wife and spend another couple of million dollars? I feel cheated.
    MT At what point can it be determined, that a little brawl gets out of control?
    Big Dog It’s never too early for poop scooping, though.
    MW Mary’s pet projects all involved direct meddling, not actual pets.
    Pluggers Mary Worth AND Pattersons are Pluggers!
    You’re really just fuckin’ with us, aren’t you, Woody?
    Zits Ah ha ha ha — shut up, ya little freak bastid.

  179. Spotted HØrse
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Let’s see… Apollo 11, I remember my grandma squeezing and gouging me with fingers made extra poky with excitement. First big news event that impacted me personally was when the Beatles broke up. They’d been around since I could remember. I was bereft.

  180. off-model
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    #167 Niall Okay, today’s Rex Morgan is completely innocent and innocuous if taken as a whole.

    I don’t know, that first panel fish is rather strategically placed.
    Though as you pointed out the second panel just begs to be taken out of context.
    Oh, Nolan and Wilson you are such naughty scamps, from cleaning garages to wet-handed fish-handling, I wonder what will be next your next adventure for Niki, Boy Innuendo.

  181. off-model
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Damn, I need to preview better.

  182. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    11/17

    A3G: Rupert Pupkin ?

    BB: Ha ha, Beetle’s brains are gonna get pulped. Good times, good times.

    9CL: “If you’re expecting me to make a pussy joke, you are sadly mistaken!”–Buddy Cole

    RMMD: How can they not be screwing with us?

    JP: Okay, let’s just play along and say that Sam’s little disparagement of his wife is an affectionate tease.

    MC: Please Norm. You’ve got a nice girl at home. Stop with the delusional crushes, before legal action is taken.

    MW; “Pet projects?” Why doesn’t Mary just say, “I generally find it more challenging to manipulate beings with an IQ over 30. But mommy needs to practice her head games on someone. Yes she does!”

    Momma: The man cleans out his mother’s attic? And newspapers are actually publishing this filth?

    GT: Gil finally takes out his hit. Yes, it’s days like this when the dialogue in Gil Thorp is fully insane enough to match the art.

    FW: Hey yeah. I never thought of it before. But now that Cory mentions it, “Winkerbean” is kind of a goofy name.

    SFx: The world’s worst pirate captain is blissfully unaware that he and his meager crew are about to become shark snacks. At least he’ll die happy, if he doesn’t give too much thought to his legs being shredded.

  183. True Fable
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    I won’t be surprised if Sam intends to catch Abbey up into a big dramatic kiss or something, but personally I think all the fawning and flattery from Busty McJugs and Trudi Double-Barrel has gone to his head.

  184. Skulking on the Outskirts
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    122, King Folderol–I love it. The only (slight) improvement I could think of would be if you had said “You mean ‘what are these, Dad–they’re my glasses.’ ” But I don’t know, with some dads, that would not have been a survivable moment. For you, I mean.

    9/11–It really was a beautiful day. I was out shopping with my sister, and we were walking into a supermarket, when some passing person said something like “have you heard about the plane that crashed into the World Trade Center?” As the day went on and we heard more news–the second plane, the one that crashed in PA, etc, it just got more and more nightmarish, even though we were (probably) safe up here in little old Vermont.

    That night, as I was walking to work, I distinctly heard one, then a second jet screaming overhead. This was right near Vernon, Vt, where the Yankee nuclear power plant is. Scared me half to death.

    But you know, here in the bluest state in the nation, one of the first things I thought of was “oh shit, that asshole Dubya’s popularity is going to go through the fucking roof, now!” and damn it, I was right. It may not have lasted, but it gave him all the leverage and leeway he needed to propel us into the new Vietnam. Happy days.

  185. Cornwhacker
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    159 Godzooky: What are the odds? I heard the OJ verdict on my way to a job interview, too. I had no strong opinions either way, but I was relieved my interviewer didn’t bring it up to make small talk.

    I’m really enjoying this prolonged game of “Where were you?” Here’s some more I remember:

    Pope John Paul 1: I was very young at the time. My parents were Catholic, but this was the first time I ever heard of such a thing as a pope. They did, however, teach me all about the Beatles, and I got confused and thought one or two of them had died. So I was prepared for John Lennon’s departure a few years later.

    Challenger: Teacher broke the news at the beginning of science class. We had broccoli for dinner that night. I’m not sure why that sticks out, but it does.

    Princess Di: Came home from work around 11pm. I was living with my parents: they had gone to bed but they left some spaghetti and a half bottle of Chianti for me. I heated up some dinner and plopped in front of the TV. We didn’t have cable and every network station was covering the car crash, with the exception of the WB, which was running It’s Pat: The Movie. I recall thinking it was pretty good, but then I was drunk.

    9/11: I was at home drawing comics, actually. I flipped on the radio and heard the news; then stepped away from the drawing table and spent the rest of the day listening to the radio and cleaning from top to bottom, just to keep myself occupied. Didn’t own a TV at the time and somehow managed not to see any video footage of the towers falling for a year after the fact.

  186. Cornwhacker
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    “cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom,” that is

    On 9/11, I was Cathy for a day.

  187. Big Sims
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    Watergate: A bored Little Sims (3 years old) shook his head dismissively at the rented TV (Ma rented it just for the Senate Hearings) and said, “All those Daddies, talking, talking, talking…”

    Regan / Hinckley: My buddy the class clown shouted “Right on!” to the 6th grade class at the announcement. I laughed. He and I were sent to the principal’s office.

    9/11 On a USCG Cutter in the middle of the Pacific. I only heard about it over military message traffic. Never saw any footage, until a year or two afterwards.

  188. True Fable
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    I remember Pope John Paul I; I went upstairs in the Mass Communications building at college and a friend approached me and said, “I know you’re Catholic or something like it (! it was such a cute little thing for her to say; I was thoroughly charmed by it) so I just want to tell you how sorry I am about your Pope.” I said pardon me, what? She went on to explain that she hear JP died and I said “Oh no m’am; we just elected him last month” and she said, “But I just heard, he’s dead.” A couple of other people passing by said the same thing. I was absolutely stunned; I really admired him and it was so depressing to hear. Then we elected JP2 and things looked better again. He was the only Pope my kids ever knew, so they were pretty upset about the upheaval when he died. We kept the EWTN station (“all the Pope, all the time!”) on constantly all during his final vigil and B16′s election process. B16 — I like a Pope named after a Bingo number.

  189. AppleGirl
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    OMG, I just did a terrible thing. I just read a weeks’ worth of Dinette Set.

  190. Brown-eyed Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    FOOB. So Liz is envious of the little prick. Who would have thunk it?

    Lynn, do you hate your creation that much? Do you blame it for destroying your marriage? These hybrid strips aren’t just dull, they are poisoning my memories of when I actually enjoyed this comic.

    GT. Well, either this reverse psychology will work and Cully will mend his wicked ways, or Marty Moon will be eliminated. For Gil, a win-win situation. Unless Cully gets so pissed off he picks up Gil and slams him through the floor. I’m hoping for that last option, in all honesty.

  191. Brown-eyed Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    189. AppleGirl. I don’t think that will actually hurt you, but you might want to take some ipecac just to be sure. If you are still ok in the morning, young lady, we need to have a talk about such risky behavior.

    (Um, why did you do it? Was it fun?)

  192. Lord-z
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    Granted, I dont follow FC, except when it is on here, but I have noticed, when Jeffy is in the strip, it is usually a joke on “Oh, he is little, he has not learned the correct meaning of it yet”. Billy is just plain stupid. That is what you get for not entering the family business, Mr. Big-Shot Disney Animator.

  193. Mariko
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    Since we now have the full week of Funky Winkerbean character introductions, allow me to make my predictions:

    Cory Winkerbean will be a rebellious soul.

    Summer Moore will be athletic, yet shy, calm, level-headed, and often foiled/embarrassed by her father.

    Maddie Klinghorn will be much like her father was in high school, but considerably less crazy and more feminine.

    Rana Howard (though the site lists her as Rana Winkerbean . . . perhaps she’s been watching too much Happy Days?) will either be a bitchy character, or just someone who is more concerned with her looks than the others.

    Jinx Bushka . . . well, she didn’t take the transfer from her days as a non-speaking character too well. Now that she’s forced to adapt to this new world of talkies or get out of the comic, she will “befriend” a much younger man and end up shooting him.

  194. Jamus The Bartender
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    Hi, folks. Back from visiting the fam, and am in the middle of League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier for inspiration. And boy, am I getting it. Damn that Fanny Hill can write…
    Seriously, i’ll look at the funnies on Monday. Should have it done by then.

  195. Joe Btfsplk
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:15 am [Reply]

    #139 Myself – On the train on my way to work Friday morning, I found the comics section of an actual newspaper on the seat next to me, and was able to read Mark Trail in glorious monochrome as nature intended it to be. I assumed then that Uniform Guy was a Mountie, but the brown outfit that I see online now makes me perceive him as a park ranger. Actually I’m woefully ignorant of the ways of our northern neighbors, and don’t know what a Mountie’s workday uniform looks like; I know they don’t go around in the red garb all the time. In any case I’m liking this storyline, if only because Johnny Malotte appears to have an actual personality, and I enjoy an unexpected twist like that every now and then.

  196. Greek red beans
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    Always wet your wax lips before handling a starfish.

  197. Greek red beans
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:36 am [Reply]

    …..or before handling a chipnun…I daresay.

  198. Greek red beans
    November 17th, 2007 at 6:05 am [Reply]

    Misty watercolor memories: Bay of Pigs—I was a little tater-tot, but I thought, “Hey, what’s the big deal?’ as I envisioned cute li’l porkers flolicking at the beach.

  199. SpiffBereft
    November 17th, 2007 at 6:16 am [Reply]

    #39 :”All the good Gina-Vibrator jokes have been taken. Though I find it scaring that she is apparently still using it while she is answering the door. Does she have no inhibitions?”

    Just no “off” switch.

    9/11: I was on some celebrity gossip message board when someone posted, “Jesus Christ! Turn on the news or the Today Show!” I thought, “What, is Hasselhoff singing in Times Square or something?” I turned it on anyway and saw a building with a plane embedded in it. I thought it was too bad, etc., but it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before. About that time a second plane hit the building and I thought, “Huh. What are the odds?” Eventually it dawned on me, “Wait a minute…I’m beginning to think this was no accident…”
    The Challenger: It was the first shuttle launch I had ever watched, and when it exploded I thought it had just released the booster rockets as I had seen done in rocket launches and that it only appeared to have exploded to my inexperienced eyes. When they panned across all the people who had gathered to watch the launch I thought, “Wouldn’t it be weird if it had actually exploded and no one realized it?”

    And yes, I’m now convinced I’m borderline retarded.

  200. Greek red beans
    November 17th, 2007 at 6:39 am [Reply]

    Frolicking is a word, flolicking should be.

  201. dreadedcandiru2
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    (TIHTI)FBOFW: Does Lynn actually know how children’s minds work? Off hand, I’d say no. First, she started with one-year-old Lzzie deliberately getting Mike in trouble, which is an absurdity. Then she had five-year-old Mike want to be a toddler so he wouldn’t get yelled at; again, contrary to what we know to be true. Now, she has a one-year-old look at Mike’s winkie and wonder why she doesn’t have one. A real toddler would be wonder if Mike had sprung a leak and if he were going to deflate.

  202. John C Fremont
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    MT – And in the second panel, Officer McMountie takes a little nap. All that excitement has worn out this little mounted policeman.

  203. Keg of Curd
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    “Pipe dream!” Ha. I see what you did there, Josh.

  204. mnemonica
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Woke up early, walked the dog, scrolled through the funnies — and Gil Thorp has brought me to a complete stop. I may just sit here staring in confusion at that strip for the rest of the day.

  205. mnemonica
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Oh, the “where were you” thread is still going on. Good! This is absolutely true:

    Late in 1980, I was a newspaper features writer. My editor noticed a classified ad for — this is hard to explain even now — a class being taught about space aliens who had come to earth to save and guide civilization. I was assigned to go to that class (in the evening, once a week for eight weeks, in a private home) with the teacher’s knowledge and consent. It was highly entertaining. About a dozen people had answered the ad — they didn’t know I was a reporter — and their discussions were intelligent and thoughtful, considering their high level of credulity.

    Toward the end of the eight weeks, the teacher was going to channel the aliens for us — sort of a cross between a seance and a long-distance phone call to grandma. We all prepared our questions for the aliens, and we sat in a circle and held hands and composed our minds while the teacher mentally reached out through the ether. And …

    Nothing happened. She couldn’t get through. She became visibly upset. “Something’s wrong,” she said. “Their attention is somewhere else. Something has disturbed the cosmos. ” She dismissed us all early, because she was too upset to go on.

    I got in my car, headed home and turned on the radio. They were playing a Beatles song, how cool! Then another. Then a Lennon solo. Then they repeated the news.

  206. Calico
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    FC – Mmmmmmkay, Jeffy is thinking about joining Mensa.

    FOOB – Liz learns that Boys and Girls look, and act, differently.

    MW – PET projects – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    That was so funny, Mary! You’re a natural comedienne.
    Now maybe you can leave the Homo Sapiens alone for a while at Charterhell.

    RM – Sorry, Josh, Niki is back to age 13 in panel two.
    Must’ve been good if it made his heart pound like that.
    Cue up Carly Simon…

    JP – “Then you’ll have to do”…in place of who, Rusty or Trudi? or Keith? And for what? Certainly not sex. Ugh.

  207. Calico
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    #195 – These days, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police usually only dress in red for ceremonial stuff – official gatherings, holidays, etc.
    The last time I saw them in red was on horseback at Battlefields Park in QC about 4 years ago – I think it was either Victoria Day or Canada Day.
    Generally, now they wear standard blue uniforms and short jackets like US Cops.

  208. Vince M
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    I was nine in 1964 and my grasp of current events was tenuous – I had Goldwater mixed up with Goldfinger.

  209. Pinback65
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    I could go on about how I heard the news of the passings of various heroes of mine (Peter Sellers, John Lennon, Stanley Kubrick, Chuck Jones), but what’s really sad is, I remember what I was doing when I heard Albert R. Broccoli died.

    Some memories you really don’t need to keep.

  210. Calico
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    #208 – Ah, the movie and theme song “Goldfinger.”
    Shirley Bassey – “This heart is cold…”

    On the drawn cover of the Beach Boys’ “Spirit of America” double album from the early 70′s, there is a campaign button that says “Au H2O” for President.” Cute. I think Goldwater did run for Prez in the 60′s, no?

  211. The Divine O’F
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Late to the Where Were You? party… I’ve been skimming right along for two threads, thinking, yeah, I remember that; remember that; got ‘em all… and then this morning I suddenly remembered that HOLY SH*T I remember when FDR died!

    I was a toddler, and it’s amazing I remember anything, but my parents were very upset because Mr. Roosevelt had died. I was petrified because I thought he was our landlord and we would be thrown out of our house. True story.

  212. Lisa (not the dead one)
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Foob – despite the overtones of penis envy and gender confusion (“Mike was jealous of you ’cause you were a cute little girl,” which somehow sheds a whole new light on the horrible Sheilagh fiasco), the sight of Baby Lizzie pulling up on the toilet rim and waiting for something interesting to happen made me laugh.

  213. Regina M Markowski
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    113-Same thing in the Detroit area, at least back in the sixties and seventies. If you had a house that had living quarters upstairs and separate ones downstairs, that was a flat.

  214. gleeb
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: Neil? I can’t keep the bland guys in this comic straight. Personally, though, I think he looks like Brig. Lethbridge-Stewart from the old Dr Who show.

    Bizarro: This kind of a laugh-but-then-say-”Hey” comic. No one I know has a dumbwaiter. I like the Mr Coffee gag though.

    ‘Shaft: OK, now here’s proof that the poor woman has slipped a gear.

    Cory Winkerbean: Don’t worry, kid. If you survive to adulthood, you can always change it to Cory Nothingtodowithbatiukbean.

    Judge Parker: “You’ll have to do. You’re not gonna talk about edible bottles are you? I’ve had enough of that stuff for one day.”

    Mark Trail: You know it’s a tough town when the local doughboy/constable “doesn’t mind a little brawling”.

    Rex: “Trust me…Nobody could have done it better.”
    “That was awesome…My heart’s still pounding.”
    Ahem.

    Sally: What? No black eyes? No broken bones? I guess I’ll just have to go with imagined internal bleeding. And pretending the “taxi” is an ambulance.

  215. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Rather than regale everyone with tales of where I was when, or add to the fetid pile of innuendo about wet hands and fish, I thought I’d spend this morning snarking about Saturday’s comics. In fact, as a bonus, I’ll even tell you what’s going to happen in your favorite comics.

    A3G: Neil? “Neil?!” Hmmm. “I’m a docent”? No… Oh, wait, the computer tech guy? That seems likely. I’m sure I’d recognize this guy if he were only blond and clean-shaven. Give it a week and he will be.
    By the way, my crystal-ball prediction: Tommie will get jealous, but it will turn out he’s Gina’s cousin (making her cry today of “You said it would happen, Tommie, and it has!” incongrous.

    A.D.: OK, tired of this now. I can’t even be pissed off at it. But really, your “401(k)”? You live in a society that 1) has maybe a dozen members, 2) uses clams for money, and 3) can’t possibly have a written tax code (from which that number derives). You don’t even have agriculture. You don’t have a 401(k). How hard would it have been to say “My retirement fund”? Huh? Come on, Mason, they’re cavemen. And not Geico cavemen either. Next week: Peter patents the phonograph, and a week of non-hilarity ensues.

    (WT)DT: That painting… I finally put it together! They’re spending the night in Fawlty Towers! Next week: “So sorry about my henchman, Mr. Tracy. He’s from Barcelona.”

    GT: Aw, man, you just know Cully’s going to say no if you phrase it like that. Gil should have told him to “take Marty Moon off the air… permanently.” Has Gil never seen a gangster movie? Or is he too busy gelling his hair and looking up obscure failed experiments in football formations?

    H&J: What does the Rev. want from Herb? He probably already goes to church more often than he has sex with his wife. On second thought, that’s not saying much.

    JP: The obvious comment about Sam’s gesture has already been made. And looking at this strip, I can think of nothing else.

    Lockhorns: A while back, I created the touching backstory of Tori, the hardworking single mother who dressed up trampy and let herself be ogled by Leroy Lockhorn to put herself through school and make a better future for her son. This brunette, on the other hand, is just a skank.

    MT: Oooh, I know what’s going to happen here, too. Johnny is going to storm off in a huff (then sail off in a dinghy), after which something awful will happen to Bull, at a time when Johnny doesn’t have an alibi. Mark will then have to fly in and prove Johnny’s innocence by means of an eyehook. Mark it down, I called it.

    MW: Come on, they couldn’t make it more obvious. “Pet projects”? Mary sees humans as dumb animals to be led around on a leash for their own good.

    Phantom: My crystal ball’s working overtime today. Here’s another prediction: Tendai will have to use a window-washer’s scaffold to paint on the side of a huge skyscraper, the rope will break, and Ghost-Who-Doesn’t-Believe-There’s-No-Such-Thing-As-Bad-Publicity, who will be out scouring the area, will save her. The End of this “draw-ma,” and not a moment too soon, thank Christ Almighty.

    RMMBLA: Nobody does it better, though sometimes I wish someone would.

    Shoe: Why would a divorce settlement have to be re-negotiated? No, seriously. Aren’t those things final? I sure as hell hope mine was.

    6C: Take this as a clue and dump her now. You’re sandy-haired and nondescript, maybe you can get work in A3G.

    Zits: Sorry, the cable suspending my disbelief just snapped. There’s no way anyone aspiring to be a guitarist, clueless teen or no, would think of Led Zeppelin as elevator music. Isn’t the opening to “Stairway to Heaven” the first tune every guitarist teaches himself?

  216. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    A3G Gomez Addams?

    FW: Is there a single teen in this strip who isn’t a sullen brat? This crew makes that kid in GT who hit himself with a barky stick look normal and well-adjusted. I don’t remember the old-school FW (or high school in general) being this damn depressing (and I hated high school).

    MW: My prediction for the conclusion of this Chester story arc: It turns out he is someone’s missing dog after all, and Mary finds a flyer with his picture on a light pole. She returns him to his rightful owner (who will either be a sick child or an elderly widow). When a reward for finding the dog is offered, Mary will turn it down, serving up some smug platitudes about how doing the right thing is reward enough, and maybe a bonus platitude about how some people should take better care of their beloved pets.

    TDIET: This could very well be my parents in another two or three years. Frightening.

  217. Loopina
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    RMMD: This is just annoying now. If I wasn’t on this board, I still wouldn’t know what “horse” means or why you should handle a fish with wet hands. Is it too much to ask that Rex actually explain some of the weird stuff he says? The people who read the strip and aren’t on this board (all 3 of them) are probably scratching their heads.
    Rex and Niki’s theme song: “Nobody Does it Better”.

    MT: Cully is going to kill Malone. Then Slylock will be called in to solve the case.
    Cully’s theme song: “License to Kill”.

  218. Niall
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    205 Mnemonica: that’s truly spooky. Though from my personal experience, I daresay some people truly are sensitive to large social “moods”, the way some animals can sense something’s wrong.

    And thanks for letting me know a Park Ranger can arrest people. In B&W, he certainly looks like a Mountie. Now I’m curious which uniform came first…

  219. gkl
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    GT: Woot! Woot! Fill your murderhole, Cully Vale.

    Pluggers: I used to be 100% against animal abuse. Now knowing that all the pluggers are animals, however, it’s down to about 99.8%.

    MW: “He came into my life, like a gift. That’s why I call it, ‘The present.’ Oh fuck, I just cross-platituditized.”

    TDIET: You just sold a house and got a smaller one, Castrato. You should have some dough, unless you sold it for a handful of magic beans. Oh crap, you sold your house for a handful of beans, didn’t you?

  220. Joe Blevins
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Funny how the name Blanche DuBois now makes me think of Blanche Deveraux instead.

    Even though Josh didn’t reference Blanche Deveraux, this is still as good a time as any to mention something I found on Wikipedia when I looked up “Apartment 3-G.” Here’s an excerpt from the strip’s Wikipedia entry:

    In an episode of The Golden Girls, Blanche mentions that she reads both Marmaduke and Apartment 3-G every day. Dorothy remarks that she hasn’t read Apartment 3-G in over twenty years, to which Blanche responds “Oh, well let me catch you up. It is later the same day…” (she is interrupted at this point).

  221. commodorejohn
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    A3G – Clark Gable in a track suit?

    BB – And then Beetle landed and SNAPPED HIS NECK AND DIED.

    Crankshaft – AHH KILL KILL KILL AHH

    DTM – Gee, where have I seen this before?

    DT – …I give up. There’s just nothing I can say here. ‘Twould only detract from the lunacy.

    FOOB – You know, this would be creepy enough the first time around, but with all that’s been revealed about the workings of Mike’s psyche and the general creepiness of Patterson sexuality, it’s really really AHHH GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN AHHH

    FW – Kid, in your universe, stupid last names are the least of your troubles. Unless, of course, you somehow contract surname cancer, which I wouldn’t rule out.

    GA – The cat’s got happy eyes in the last panel as it watches Rufus walk off, recovered from his fall but unsuspecting. It is evil.

    GT – *head asplode*

    JP – Oh no, not again. Poor Abbey, here comes another case of blue ovaries…

    MT – Thanks a lot, Officer Killjoy.

    MW – Mary finally admits to seeing other people as “projects.” And yet she still manages to be smugly self-satisfied about it.

    RMMD – AHHH STOP IT ALREADY

    SF – Oh no, now Rex Morgan Syndrome is spreading over into Sally Forth!

    SM – “Now Spider-Man’s gotta get to the Persuader! Just as soon as Oprah’s don-HEY! CHEERS MARATHON!”

  222. AMC
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    GT Gil hires Cully The Jackal.

    MW I have no mouth and I must SCREEEEEEE!!

    This strip should come with a NSFD warning – Not Safe For Diabetics.

    F- Now that’s how you make death funny.

    DT All the doors are locked, and we’re going to be kept in this house forever by those flimsy windows! Ahhhh, we’re trapped!

    Popeye I know no one reads this stip – but the SeaHag’s line about Thung the walking penis is: “I know that sailor! Sooner or later he’ll smack it!”

    Since this Popeye strip was actually written more than a decade ago, the whole RMMD innuendo-fest is looking a bit derivative.

    Crankshaft In Batiuk’s world, even books hang themselves….

  223. queek
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Speed Bump today rocked. I know that its attempting to be the Far Side, but this one was close to Larsonian.

    The Hateeachothers: Loretta, you could be in FOOB, so yes, it could be worse.

    MG&G: Darwin fish jokes! yay!

    Lio: ew ew ew EWWWWWWWWWWW!

  224. sangwij
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    # 222 — Thank you, AMC! I did not read Popeye, but now I will. That thung is the most awesome thing ever. It beats the hell out of Rex’s slippery ol’ trout.

  225. Jimmy
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Trout… ??!
    I read that as “always WET your hands before you handle a scout!”

  226. Lucas
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I remember, fondly, those punishments of repetitive writing. I think I developed my writer’s callous from them.

    I think it would have been more effective if he was told to write “I am a douchenozzle—pardon my French.” 50 times.

  227. Shmork
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    If I were a professor I’d totally address myself as “the professor” when talking to my loved ones. “Watch out, the professor needs to use the rest room!” “Hey, the professor would like a sandwich!” “Hello, this is the professor speaking!”

  228. Allie Cat
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    FOOB – So, Lizzy is curious about Michael’s dick? That’s funny, because when I think of Michael, the word dick naturally comes to mind.

  229. Allie Cat
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Also – Rex Morgan – Ok – my husband and I joke about the phrase “like a pro”. It’s often used in Penthouse forurm-esque writing; ie, “She handled my throbbing purple member like a pro.”

    Pro what, I wonder?

    Anyhoo – today’s Sexy Rexy made me laugh just as much as every other one this week.

  230. Mibbitmaker
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Where Were You When Marty Moon was Murdered?

  231. Spotted HØrse
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    #200 Greek red beans:

    Frolicking is a word, flolicking should be.

    Isn’t flolicking part and parcel with grits kissing?

  232. SecretMargo
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    215: SSB — I know you were feigning confusion over Neil’s identity for comedic effect, but for the benefit of the actually confused: Neil is the caddish director of Gina’s play who kissed Tommie back in February. Gina is well aware that Neil’s a kissy-faced cheap slut, but I doubt it bothers her. If my other choice was Professor Humbertopolis, I think I’d go black-haired cad and not go back, too.

    I am well aware that if Josh’s ability to identify Québécois comics characters at a glance is a “lousy superpower,” my ability to differentiate the men of Apartment 3-G is an infinitely lousier one. We all have out crosses to bear, I guess (I was about to write “keep the men of A3G straight,” but then I realized that no superpower could be strong enough to do that).

  233. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    #229 – Allie Cat
    Throbbing purple member? I hope you’re talking about a Barney fan club because I’ve never heard of any other kind of purple member – unless it’s Mardi Gras and the guy also had one nut painted green and the other gold.
    -
    I remember where I was when my Rotten Kid was born.
    -
    Nik-L-Nips!
    http://www.whoknew.us/images/nik-l-nips_small.jpg

  234. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Saturday’s Slylock asks us to state the things in the scene that start with S.

    Let’s see:

    Perhaps these sailors are not only shark snacks (thanks AfkaBen @ #182!) but also situational sodomites?

    (ducks and runs out of the room)

  235. SecretMargo
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    231: SH: Wouldn’t that depend on how you felt about Flo?

  236. SecretMargo
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    234: Salty, spunky seamen?

  237. A New Day
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Regarding this week’s Foob flashbacks…
    Conversation that never did, and never will, take place in the whole history of human kind: 16-year old to 20-something year old sister: “please tell me more about the petty and sometimes disturbing interactions you had with our older brother when you were very young. It’s just so fascinating!” It’s been a while since I was 16, but I’m pretty sure that my attention span for this conversation would have been about as long as it took me to steal money – and with any luck, car keys – from my sister’s purse.

  238. Rooty Toot Toot
    November 17th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Apropos of nothing in particular, is anyone else really enjoying Doonesbury these days? No one gets into the dirty world of operational politics like Uncle Duke, and he doesn’t disappoint these days. Love the president of Berserkistan, too.

  239. Mibbitmaker
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Led Zeppelin? Elevator music??? Peirce, I swear I’m going to grab one of your pins and pull really hard. (To be fair, maybe he’s been riding in really cool elevators)

    FC: Jeffy, how come it takes all your brain cells to prove you’re completely stupid?

    FW: Yeah, Winkerbean is a silly name. Almost like, I dunno, say, a name for a absurdist strip that’s actually ….funny??? Yep, it’s gotta be hard being tragically melodramatic with a name like that, huh, Cory?

    FOOB: In order to keep the LJ body function humor going in the yesterday/today FOOB, Lynn actually drew (or had drawn) the flashback panel brand new. Way to cheapen memories of the good FBOFW, Lynn!

    A3G: So, arrogant play director “directing” some “play” with the Prof’s young gal pal, eh? Well, good news for Ruby, then.

    Adam: He’s reading comic strips to feel better?? Hey, Adam, this is a gathering of comic strip fans, and we’re here to mock comic strips! I don’t think the funny pages are going to help you, Adam.

  240. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    I must admit I find it a little hard to get into Doonesbury, although I have enjoyed collections of strips from the 70s and 80s. I sometimes think Garry Trudeau might do better if he just wrote essays or novels or short stories. There might not be anything horribly wrong with the look of Doonesbury as a comic strip, but I just find it very dry and dense and text-heavy. Visually, I find that it doesn’t draw me in.

  241. OverCat
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    215 SSB – Re: StH being the first song learned – I think that would actually be “Smoke on the Water.”

    Duh– duh–duh
    Duh-duh-duhDaaa
    Duh-duh-duh-
    DuhDaaaaaaa

  242. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    #241 OverCat via #215 The Spectacular Spider-Brick:
    Self taught “walk don’t run” by the Ventures. Even made up my own lyrics: *ahem*—
    “Walk don’t run/
    ‘Cause you’re running when you should be/
    Walking away.”

    Thank you
    Lik-M-Aid

  243. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    #237 – A New Day
    I don’t know about that. My younger brothers and sisters have never gotten tired of hearing about how I used to sneak into our oldest brother’s room, steal all of his clothes and wear them. Or how he used to fold me up and stuff me into our wooden toy chest. And how I, in turn, crammed my younger brother into a pullman suitcase and zipped it shut. Or tried to smother him by sticking him under the sofa cushions and sitting on him.
    Or how we used to fight over………hey! Come back here! I’m not finished …………

  244. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    #215 – SSB
    Uh, I learned how to play the guitar when Jimmy Page was still with the Yardbirds….And gave it up somewhere around LZIII. Wah.

    And, while I don’t spend any time in elevators, I do hear Stairway to Heaven at the Piggly Wiggly on a regular basis, usually while I’m in the produce department. It makes me want to shout ‘What peaches and what penumbras!’
    So I do.

  245. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    #243 Trotzenbonnie: Hiya Trotz! My big bro would try to stash me away in any convenient (lazy sod!) apparatus he could muster. This was of course before he built the gasser rail “Chicken Shift II” (never got the idea to ask him “Wait a minute, there’s a Chicken Shift I ?” Ya gotta love the sibs, I miss Mike every day.

  246. dyslexic dog
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    #241: Isn’t that the one you play on the piano with your knuckles?

  247. Keg of Curd
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Not, It’s not just a simple declarative sentence, quite oddly spaced out with ellipses, in an otherwise empty white box! It’s a comic strip! Because there’s a picture of a duck in it.

  248. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    #246 Dyslexic Dog: Why… when I was a boy, we didn’t have knuckles, mom had to buy ‘em at the knuckle shoppe. Karb Fra foow!

  249. Mibbitmaker
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Late again….

    Nixon Resigns: I distinctly remember delivering the newspaper with the headlines on it those 2 times. I was still a few months away from caring about political stuff, but it was (of course) a big deal. I also remember Nixon’s speech to his staff before boarding the helicopter. I remember it being one of the oddest things I’ve ever seen.

    Challenger: We were told about it where I worked, and soon enough a small portable TV was brought up to our room to watch coverage.

    John Belushi: My step-brother told me, and at first I thought he was joking. I guess John being a player in a dark-humored satirical comedy show gave me that impression upon first blush. Having been one of the biggest fans of SNL since almost the beginning, it was really odd already having one of its stars dying that soon. Little could I know…..

    JFK: I was barely 2, so I have no memory of it at all.

    Reagan ’81: I was just coming back to campus from buying the latest Mad (the one satirizing “Dallas”, I believe) in town, when a fellow student said that Reagan had been shot. We were huddled around the TV for that afternoon. For maybe a week or two I actually felt guilty for my Reagan hate (which was big, but nowhere near as vitriolic as the hate Clinton and Dubya foes have… and I substituted “Reagan” for “baby” in the lyrics of Linda Ronstadt’s “You’re No Good”). Of course, it was short-lived, as my glee at his Iran-Contra woes would tell you!

    Speaking of which: Iran-Contra Hearings: It was a godawful hot and humid few days when Ollie North testified. That whole terrible “Olliemania” thing plus the weather situation made for a distinctly hellish time. The whole country (supposedly) fell in love with a reactionary fellon!

    The nightmare testimony finally was coming to an end. Honestly, once North was done, the temperature was coming down and the air dried up that evening. Furthermore, I had “Spencer for Hire” on that night, and the story wrapped up with a Vietnam vet expressing understanding over his draft-dodging brother in a posthumous letter, stating that it took as much guts and principle to refuse to go as it did to fight. That, and the newly-comfortable weather made me feel much better.

  250. Saluki
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    238 RTT.

    Love the Doones. They try to start countries indeed. Duke might be my all time favorite comic strip character!

  251. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    #245 – Red, my man!
    Your brother built a dragster?!

    Yeah, I’m hip to that jive. I spent my formative years lurking in the pits at the Lebanon Valley Speedway. I loved Jungle Jim Lieberman and the smell of a smokey burnout….

    (You are talking about drag racing, aren’t you? If not, ignore the previous statement and I’ll just pretend I’m not an idiot, okay?)

  252. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, MD: All this sexual in your end-o innuendo stuff is getting boring, didn’t Rex pack a sidearm? I wanna see gunplay, mule!

  253. dyslexic dog
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    #246 – RG:
    Rrrrrrrg, wob oww oww.

  254. Johnny Q
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Thel should slug Billy a good one and say “Never hit anyone smaller than you!” Time to introduce him to the hypocritical adult world.

  255. Inspector Dim
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    GT: How, exactly, is Cully Vale going to kill Marty Moon? Will it be:

    1. The People’s Elbow to the face?
    2. Arsenic in his gin?
    3. Poisoned beard wax?
    4. An exploding microphone?
    5. A surprise body slam?
    6. The wing-T of DEATH?
    7. Tactical nuclear strike?
    8. Cancer?
    9. The Agony Box?
    10. Hiring the Persuader?
    11. Reading Stone Season to him? Twice?

    I could keep going.

  256. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Trotz, Bright candy lime green Ford Anglia cockpit, bitchen pinstriping, etc. and so on. I helpeded paint the frame without a breather, that’s probly why I don’t talk write.

  257. Inspector Dim
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    250, 238: Duke for president! I do miss his Marcy-esque assistant, though.

  258. dyslexic dog
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    #255 – Inspector D: Devious Gil is, as we speak, telling Marty to kill Cully. (I tried to say that three times fast, and fell off the chair.)

  259. Jungle Jim Lieberman
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Okay Trots! That cuts it! Jungle Jim Lieberman is now my new frivolous nom de blog. (Unless I babelfish into Italian) Soon come.

  260. commodorejohn
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    #255 Inspector Dim – “Agony box?” I think you mean the Agonizer.

    [/geek]

  261. Inspector Dim
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    258 Dyslexic Dog: Gil knows that they’ll both botch the job. I have a sudden image of Spy vs. Spy, here.

  262. Inspector Dim
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    260 commodorejohn: Damn it! I meant “agony booth!” Agony box is from Dune. Curse me!

  263. Jungle Jim Lieberman
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Dab God! Nowd yob! That’s a dogo god!

  264. Lieberman di jim di giungla
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Better Red than that.

  265. Mibbitmaker
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    9/11:

    I was watching a M*A*S*H rerun, the late-period one when a pro boxer visited the 4077th. I’d switched over to the Today Show during a late commercial break. I got up and went to the fridge after just a glance at the TV and was wondering why they were showing old footage from Waco in 2001. Of course I sat back down and realized it was live footage from the WTC. It was maybe 5 or 10 minutes when I thought it might be terrorism — half way between my tuning in and Katie Couric first supposing the same thing.

    My mom called me a number of times, usually whenever there was a new event: the early coverage, the 2nd plane hitting, the towers collapsing, the Pentagon hit, the 4th plane going down. The cumulative effect of all those happenings made it feel like the end of the world. I was way too shaken to draw my first (unpublished) editorial cartoon on the subject until that night.

    It took me a while to start clicking to all the other channels covering it, I was so transfixed on the extended Today Show. It was a beautiful day, and I’d planned to do stuff outside before all the horror kept me glued to the set (and eventually checking online). Finally, late in the afternoon I finally decided I needed a break to go out, into town. Going into a store or two, they had a TV set up with the coverage on. Even though there weren’t TVs in any real way back then, it felt like I’d imagine it was like at the start of World War II. Substitute radio for television, I suppose.

    ABC had the best way of easing from 9/11 coverage to normal broadcasting, by far. Having that Saturday morning show where Peter Jennings talled to kids about it, followed by afternoon repeats of their excellent 20th Century documentary was perfect.

  266. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    I seem to remember reading that Peter Jennings took up smoking again after 9/11.

  267. Twisted Dondi
    November 17th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    Just trying it on for size….as you were.

  268. SecretMargo
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    266: SQB: Indeed.

  269. dyslexic dog
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Nos. 263, 264 – Jungle Jim Lieberman and, uh, what you said:

    For some reason that reminds me of one of my all-time favorite one panel comics, long long ago, no idea who drew it.

    The caption reads “James Brown at home.” The drawing is of a huge dog, on his hind legs, trying to play with (although it looks like he’s clawing to death) the JB character, who says, “Oww!! Get down!!

  270. Allie Cat
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Ok – here’s my 9/11 story…

    I was doing some contract work for a friend of mine who was 8 months pregnant with twins. She called me to tell me she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t coming in, and oh – by the way – something weird is going on in NYC – I should take a look at CNN.com.

    CNN.com is so overloaded, I can’t get on it. I can get on a website where I post regularly, and people are describing the situation.

    I remember that one post simply read:

    “Gob Bless America”. It was the last time that day that I laughed.

    I went home, went to a play rehearsal and tried to pretend everything was normal.

  271. Mibbitmaker
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Clues About Marty Moon Being Dead

    1) Backwards tapes:
    a) “Marty’s dead, man, I don’t miss ‘im!”
    b)”I buried Moon”
    c) “Diss the team, dead man” (“Revolution 33 & 1/3″)

    2) “You were in a Vale crash/ And you lost your spine” — “Don’t Ask Me How”

    3) “I Heard the news today, oh by/ About a jerky man who Cully slayed… I just had to laugh/ I heard his on-air gaffe” — “A Day in the Strip”

    4) A confused Pete Towshend thought he was in 1978

    5) An illustration showed up in a copy of “Of Mice and Men” showing Cully calling Marty “George”.

  272. Red Greenback
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Doglexic Dys: I got a bitchen decal made by mi buen amigo Roy Gonzales what I plastered on an old Morrow spoon that shows JB in all his be-dazzlered bell-bottomed glory doing a “soul arch” on a longboard. He (James) is shown striking a very “Christ-like pose”.

  273. Godzooky
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    DT, panel 1: So Dick packed his weapon, after all.

  274. Saluki
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    237

    I think that gun belongs to whomever is holding the Governor and talking to Dick. As Dick is unarmed hilarity will ensue.

  275. Smokey Burnout
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Huh?

  276. JamesinMaine
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: “He came into my life, like a gift. He also came on my leg it seems — also a gift of sorts, I suppose.”

  277. BIG JOHN MAZMANIAN
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Hey Rex, pick on sombody your own size!

  278. Islamorada Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    92: Confidential to Dimestore Lipstick: “Beowulf” is in some kind of weird animatron 3D. When you see Naked Fat Guy, it’s like he’s coming right at you in so many ways. The SPX made me faintly seasick, btw. Not the kind where you throw up; the kind where you get really sleepy. Oh, maybe that was the lame story. I won’t say anymore because I don’ t want this to be a spoiler.

  279. BIG JOHN MAZMANIAN
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    JamesinMaine: “He came onto my leg before he came on my leg” This is Chartersone…rules is rules.

  280. BIG JOHN MAZMANIAN
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Or should that be a covenant. I’m all at sea….Quack!….Ahhhh!

  281. Godzooky
    November 17th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    274 re: DT. You’re right, it’s the villain holding a gun. Somehow, lost track of what’s going on. I like how the mystery person’s word balloon is depicted as an electronic voice, even though from this view, he’s (or she’s) likely speaking normally into a mike. And, apparently, the bad guy couldn’t afford long cables or wireless audio, because that mike seems to be set up directly on the other side of the painting.

  282. BIG JOHN MAZMANIAN
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Edible Bottles. I’m’fo’making a tee shirt design, lookout world!

  283. AhClem
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #215 SSB -
    When I was growing up (in the pre-Led Zep days), every aspiring rock guitarist learned to play “Wipe Out” and “House of the Rising Sun.” The latter song is how I learned what a pain in the ass fingers an F chord can be.

  284. Mogalike
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Seconding the Wet Hands/Trout shirt idea.

  285. Islamorada Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Confidential to Secret Margo: But, as a teacher’s kid, did you address your parents in school as “Mr. and Mrs Margo”? I always wondered how that worked.

  286. AMC
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    With apologies to Don Ho:

    Tiny bottles (tiny bottles)
    Sophie whines (Sophie whines)
    Make them edible (make them edible)
    Makes it Nik-L-Nips time (makes it Nik-L-Nips time)

  287. Brown-eyed Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    233. Trotenbonnie. I loved those things when I was a kid, but I never knew what they were called. Nik-L-Nips! — and you can still buy them. What joy!

  288. Dennis Jimenez
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G – And the perfesser said the female orgasm was just a myth! Shame on you, Ari.

    Blondie – Always carefully coat your hand in butter flavored chemical junk before handling the trouser trout, Blondie.

    Foob – !?!

    MT – There’s many a tale under the mid-night sun…. Naw, nothin’s gonna make any sense out of this for me.

    MW – Until now, you dog collar leash and coarsely snapped commands were reserved for Dr. Jeff.

    A Plugger lets lil’ Pluggers know if you give them a cubit, they’ll take a hectare.

    JP – Nice motion to your crotch, Sam. Good House Keeping is going to pull its family friendly seal from this strip.

    Adios Amigos

  289. The Avocado Avenger
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    GT: I have high hopes for this storyline. Since Marty Moon is Satan (or an amazing facsimile), trying to kill him will result in the ultimate struggle between humankind and the unstoppable forces of evil. Also, wacky hijinks.

  290. Deena in OR
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Islamorada Girl-I can’t speak for Secret Margo, but when my dad was my principal and my mom was my teacher (elementary and high school, respectively) it was always just Mom and Dad. Unless I couldn’t get their attention. Then it was Mr. or Mrs. Brown :) Never seemed to be a problem-but of course, I went to small schools where the relationship was a known fact.

  291. SecretMargo
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    285: I-Girl — People always ask me that, and frankly, I don’t recall. I think it’s because in a classroom, a student is usually addressed and then answers. If you’ve raised your hand and are called on, you can begin by saying “Mr/Mrs Blah Blah Blah,….” but you certainly don’t have to. I guess I didn’t feel the need to try do get either parent’s attention by calling out during class. When I talked to them outside of class, it was “Mom” and “Dad,” even when in school, but I don’t recall calling either that in class. Not that it would have mattered so much, I guess, since it was a small enough town that it was never exactly a secret who I was anyway.

    Basically, whatever happened wasn’t awkward enough for me to remember. Weirdly, the only time that being a teacher’s kid became an issue was when I was a just a SecretLad and would go to SecretMa’ classroom in the junior high and the older kids would pantomime terror as I would pass through the hall. SecretMa’s kind of a hardass.

  292. commodorejohn
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    #287 Brown-Eyed Girl – Oh no! If Crankshaft is any indication, the next we hear from BEG she’ll have blown her life savings to buy a houseful of Nik-L-Nips and begun making them into lame handicrafts! Quick, someone commit her to a nursing home before she can be a further menace to society!

  293. Len
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

  294. dyslexic dog
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    #105 – Zamboni_Rodeo:

    Sophie and Sam, your wishes are granted.

  295. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    #287 – B-e G
    Oh yeah. If you get a hankering for Fizzies and the like, this is the place:
    http://www.oldtimecandy.com/blast-to-the-past.htm

    I could not believe how the kids dug into my Hallowe’en candy basket for the old-timey stuff. I just threw it all in there to get rid of it and I wound up with a bunch of leftover chocolate crap. Shocking! Maybe Jeremy and his dad would like to chow down with some Chuckles while they’re listening to the Beatles.
    -
    We were on our way to Home Depot when we got stuck behind an SUV with this provocative statement plastered across the rear window:
    ‘I’m not mean – your just a wuss’
    I think if you’re going to insult people, you should be grammatically correct.

  296. Deena in OR
    November 17th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    SecretMargo-You sure we aren’t related? SecretMa sounds awfully familiar :) Of course, hardass is a necessary skill when you’re teaching junior high…

  297. AhClem
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Mmm … Chuckles! Pretty hard to find these days. The only place I know that still carries them is the little newsstand on the 2nd floor food court area in Chicago’s Union Station. I pass through there once or twice a year, and always pick up several when I do.

  298. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Re today’s Pluggers — Simpsonville, SC, sounded awfully familiar, and sure enough, the same submitter provided the idea for the Oct. 31 strip.

    I know we’ve had a high success rate with TDIET, but have very many of the commenters here had a Pluggers printed? One would think it can’t be incredibly difficult if they’re relying on the same reader on two separate occasions in just over two weeks.

  299. skankmonkey
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    More reminiscing:

    Ernie Coombs, the man who played Mr. Dressup, died shortly after 9/11. Maybe it was because of the time, but I remember being at work and hearing the news on the radio we had playing. Everyone stopped what they were doing and had a good cry. We really weren’t able to work the rest of the day, and instead reminisced about the tickle trunk, the owl with eyes that freaked everyone out, and Casey & Finnigan.

  300. Razmytaz
    November 17th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    9/11: My son happened to be born on Sept 11, 1993. We live just outside of DC, and could see a black plume from the Pentagon. Somehow, our go out for light hearted festivities plan seemed kind of shallow. I wanted to talk to him about it, to help him process all that he had heard (and try to correct kid-generated misinformation) but I didn’t feel quite ready. So on the way home I pulled into a Blockbusters and picked up a video showing struggling New Yorkers faced with ultimate evil, but fighting back and ultimately prevailing.

    Ghostbusters.

    When the credits rolled, for some reason we all felt somewhat better.

  301. dimestore lipstick
    November 17th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of edible containers–I just picked up a box of Belgian chocolate cordial cups (they look like chocolate shot glasses) and a bottle of Chambord for someone on my Christmas list.

    I may not be able to wait 5 weeks to see if they’re any good, though.

  302. Trotzenbonnie
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    #301 – dimestore lipstick
    What a coincidence! I bought a bunch of these last night:

    http://www.anthonberg.com/pages/423

    at Bed Bath & Beyond. I thought they would make a nice Christmas gift for my sister-in-law.

    Too bad I opened the box as soon as I got home…
    Jack Daniels wrapped in chocolate. Mmm mm good!
    Maybe she’s like a nice houseplant instead.

  303. Brown-eyed Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    292. commodorejohn. Hey, you whippersnapper. I’ll have you know that I am in my prime earning years, so I’ll have that retirement fund replentished in no time. *grumble*

    My real ambition is to be a crazy old cat lady and spend all my money on my 400 cats, but that’s a dream I’ll never realized becasue I am very, very, allergic to cats. Instead, I’m programming myself so that when I reach the Crankshaft years I’ll be spending all my money on wind chimes and garden gnomes. (I could say I am planning to spend all that money on hot young men, but that would be wrong ;-))

    So, fellow curminions: what are your plans for your senility?

  304. Brown-eyed Girl
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    303. myself. Wow, I managed to make more than the usual number of typos and spelling errors in that last post. Too bad I’m too lazy to try to fix them in this post.

  305. Tonyman
    November 17th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    JP- After turning down the favors of two hotties in a row; I hope Abbey isn’t expecting any welcome home sex from Sam. She might as well start working with Sophie on the world destroying water bottle crisis.

  306. Hysterical Woman
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    I know that’s supposed to be an innocent peak on the cheek, but that kiss in Sally Forth is creeping me out. I think it’s Sally’s closed eyes and her mother’s surprise that makes it look really incestuous. Eegh.

  307. Allie Cat
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    303 – Plans for senility? Why wait til I’m too old to enjoy it?

    I’m sure as hell NOT going to join any Red Hat Society.

    I may try to make a run of the Game Show circuit, though.

  308. Wayne
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Dog Eat Doug: Memo to Brian Anderson — it’s “diaper pail,” not “diaper pale.”

  309. Uncle Lumpy
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    #300 Razmytaz –

    That is the perfect 9/11 movie! Smoove move by you!

  310. Tabby
    November 17th, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    303, if you like to spend money on wind chimes, get yourself a set of “Corinthian Bells”. You’ll never regret a dime of the rather pricey price – they just sound sOO cool!

  311. Brick Bradford
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Brown-eyed Girl, I plan to buy some geezer shoes, a straw hat, a short sleeved white shirt, and a pair of pants that are baggy around the armpits and then sit on my front porch and cuss at the neighbor kids.

  312. Michael Patterfoob
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    So many snarks, I have little (very little. very very little) to add:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2042242250/

  313. Pansy Yokum
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    So Michael, if you don’t want Lizzie to watch you…CLOSE THE (MARGO)ING BATHROOM DOOR!

  314. Two separate gorillas
    November 17th, 2007 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Bats[: Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?

  315. queek
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    238: I, for one, am thoroughly enjoying the current Doonesbury arc.

  316. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    #221 commodorejohn,
    You mean Ted Forth is going to go on a homoerotic fishing trip with a troubled teen?

  317. Two separate gorillas
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    I am not so sophisticated, butt I know better than to horse my trouts. Or is that a b(heart)?

  318. The Restless Mouse
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    I wish I could throw my voice to make my fist say “BANG BANG” like that! No wonder that guy’s so popular with the ladies.

  319. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    #303, 307, et al, in re: senility and how to enjoy it:

    Here’s Max Cannon’s take on aging, well… not so gracefully:

    http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/1996-12-23/index.html

  320. Two separate gorillas
    November 17th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    Zammy: Max Cannon iz da shizz…. If I were a small African girl I’d be spray-painting Mr. Cannon’s likeness all hither and tither, all the live-long day

  321. seth
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    brokeback morgan.

  322. Two separate gorillas
    November 17th, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    La Cucaracha: Hey Lalo, could you go meta and do a Mex Morgan thang?

  323. Poteet
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    # 148 — Chonklit and butter tarts?! You are SO on, Spotted H0rse. Thank you, and I’ll bring some of the local egg nog that blows away the competition (I don’t know why the other dairy even bothers.) To heck with sniveling — I look forward to a very pleasant invisible ride!

    Um, on your float, I mean.

  324. Two separate gorillas
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    Poteet, don’t forget the rusty trombones.

  325. Charles
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    A few of my thoughts…

    A3G – It looks like someting exciting and sensual just happened. In all reality, it was probably a game of Scrabble or Connect Four, then all that laughing and shouting can be easily forgotten just like memory loss and air poisoning!

    Blondie – Oh man, some theaters charge an extra buck for butter now? I want to cry.

    F Minus – HA! I may be laughing at the dead, but it’s still funny, in a twisted sort of way.

    JP – I just realized that Sam kind of vaguely resembles Roger Moore, which means I could have gone through the whole land ownership plotline hearing Roger Moore’s voice in my head BUT I DIDN’T.

    MT – Is this week of non-stop violence a penance for the duck plotline? Because, I’ll take it. But I can’t help but wonder if Johnny threatening to “Fix him good someday so he won’t hurt my family or my camp” isn’t a castration threat. I’d like to see Mark Trail try to investigate THAT in a G-rated kind of way!

    MW – $5 that the dog goes to Vera or Dawn, $10 that Mary will have to give the dog back to it’s rightful owner – who will wind up leading a horrible life – and will feel self-pity for giving the dog up for about half a year.

    RM MD – Is this the author’s way of pleasing the Curmudgeon viewers? Because there is NO WAY anybody would write that kind of dialogue to describe a fishing trip without some other kind of motive.

    S-M – After about a half dozen crimes are already committed, Peter Parker decides that maybe it’s time to take action. What a hero.

  326. Dingo
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Four days. I’ve been gone four days. Just got home tonight after 780 miles (620 of which were in the rain) and there’s over 1,000 comments since I was last on here.

    The good thing about missing the comics for a few days is knowing that only four minutes of time has passed in Apt. 3G and Cathy still can’t fit into the bathing suit. You don’t have to backtrack. However, by now I’m hoping that Rex and Niki are in post-coital sleep.

  327. bats :[
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Some Sunday F’s:

    FC: oh, boy, too many possible retorts to mention…

    MT: Rusty and Niki seem to be kindred spirits; keep those rods up, boys!
    And see? Rex Morgan is helping preserve future generations of deer and ducks and fish by promoting his love of Niki the great outdoors and its associated sports. Rex, we salute you!

    MW: Jeebus, Mary, THIS ISN’T THE ONLY DOG IN THE WORLD! What does it take to kindle her compassion gene? Tossing a mutt on the side of the road? Quick, to the pound!
    (If Toby keeps up this Jiminy Cricket conscience thing, she’s going to be in line for some of Mary’s “special” cookies…hmmmm, do I detect a hint of bitter almonds?)

    RMMD: “Get used to it, Niki…there’s a lot more to come?” I know it’s going to involve prisoners on the lam, but I just wish the artist/writer would just give up and throw us a bone(r). No more koiness (no pun intended).

    FOOB: please tell me this was a genuine “old” strip. The thought of it being a new one in the retro style makes me gag.

  328. SecretMargo
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    303: B-E-G: Provided that I ever achieve professorhood, then tenure, this is my goal: become an Emeritus as soon as possible, then spend my dotage attending presentations in sloppy, drunk drag and polluting the Q&A periods with rambling, non-sequitur comments that liberally reference the extensive series of academic treatises on the “Margovian Sublime” that I’ve been publishing through Semiotext(e).

  329. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 18th, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    …so you people do go away from your computers late Saturday night and early Sunday morning. Very good.

  330. Poteet
    November 18th, 2007 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    Not all of us, Skullturf…

  331. Poteet
    November 18th, 2007 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Foob — I just caught up on the Saturday funnies, and I will say right now, for all the good it will do me, that I’ve seen enough bathroom humor in Foobville to last several lifetimes. Ewwww. And now to bed.

  332. lightsyrup
    November 18th, 2007 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth adopts a dog. It doesn’t occur to her that it might have another owner. And she is one annoyingly self-righteous old biddy. I am heading to bed, thoroughly discombobulated after reading the Sunday MW strip. Ugh.

  333. sonneta
    November 18th, 2007 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Memories of buying cleaning supplies. Now THAT’S entertainment.

    There’s a nice Slylock Fox homage (parody?) in Sunday’s Foxtrot.

  334. Dub Not Dubya
    November 18th, 2007 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Watch Your Head takes a swipe at one of the zombie strips:

    http://www.comics.com/wash/watch/archive/watch-20071118.html

    Cory, if you’re still lurking here: well played.

  335. Eloriane
    November 18th, 2007 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    In Saturday’s Dennis, Martha and Alice chat as their menfolk hurry past them, presumably to their “secret” trysting place.
    “Dennis is like jumper cables. He can always get George’s engine running,” Martha says. She watches her husband’s escape fondly, thinking, “I hope that kid wears him out. I might get out of another month’s worth of sex.”
    Alice sips her tea and smiles a bittersweet smile. “I could get laid tonight,” she thinks. “If only my husband were straight.”

    Or maybe I’ve been reading too much Rex Morgan.

  336. JamesinMaine
    November 18th, 2007 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    Sunday MW: “But if we can’t find his owner, I’d be willing to be charitable and keep him. Not ready or able, but willing, yes, for sure.”

  337. Godzooky
    November 18th, 2007 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    S-M: On Saturday, a concerned Peter Parker leaves JJJ’s office, determined to track down the Persuader. Today, in lieu of tracking, Peter returns to the office and gives up his newly-won raise, which is apparently enough to make up for lost advertisers and destroyed delivery trucks and printing presses. Hang the cost, Peter will sacrifice anything to avoid cutting into his TV and Googling time.

  338. The Avocado Avenger
    November 18th, 2007 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    #230 Mibbit – We must have that on a shirt.

    #142 Poteet – I have no such happiness; the band teacher has gone on to have some minor success by playing on major album releases, so I get to hear about him every so often. Good times.

    #144 Allie – Heh. He was flirty to the girls? That’s… odd. Perhaps he was in denial.

    #326 Dingo – Welcome back!

  339. firegoat
    November 18th, 2007 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    Next week on a very special Mary Worth….. Mary’s first dog was unfortunately the beginning signs of her becoming an elderly “collector.” (similar to that crazy cat lady.) A Charterstone pool party intervention takes place, where Toby and the local humane society find 1 beagle, 13 chihuahuas, and 67 min pins in Mary’s apartment.

  340. Godzooky
    November 18th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Things I learned from MT today:

    1. Despite being legal hunting game in forty-nine states (Hawaii, too?) and millions of farm-raised turkeys slaughtered every year, there are more wild turkeys in the U.S. now than 386 years ago in the first Thanksgiving.
    2. Mark and Rusty and Rex and Niki have mutual interests.
    3. Support for hunting remains strong because people want deer killed.
    4. The money for licenses to kill wildlife and fish goes toward preserving the lives of wildlife and fish.
    5. There is less license money coming in because city people don’t hunt and fish, these activities are expensive, and there are either less family members who know how to hunt and fish or the ones that do know don’t bother passing it along to their children.
    6. Andy the dog says ignore all that, get the family involved in hunting and fishing, they will appreciate and enjoy it.
    7. Fish don’t like candy canes.

    Who says comics aren’t educational?

  341. Allie Cat
    November 18th, 2007 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Loved today’s Rhymes with Orange.

    J’ever feel like your life’s a TDIET?

    We’ve got a gaggle of relations coming for Thanksgiving. Today is my last day off til they get here, and I’m busier than a one-armed band director.

    Hubby Fignewt is a little under the weather, and rather than hole up in the bedroom, he’s taken over the den, which is pretty much the central hub of our house. So I’m going to have to work around him all day, which is fine. But seriously – we have two bedrooms – choose one and get outta my way!

    Urge to chicken soup him to the moon but good!

    #338 Avocado – He was in all kinds of denial, and really, I think it’s sad. He ended up losing his choir job at a local church. His wife left him – duh – his kids went apeshit and rebelled – the son ended up stealing a car (which as it happened, belonged to his father). Eventually, the choir teacher ended up losing his job at the school because he wandered into a room where girls were changing for a concert and apparently didn’t get out quickly enough -the “but I’m gay” defense apparently didn’t help matters.

    So even though I thought he was kind of an asshat, he probably didn’t deserve all of what he got. Some of it – yes, but not all!

  342. Godzooky
    November 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: Follow the circling Tommie:

    Panel 1: Behind the Professor’s left shoulder.
    Panel 2: Facing his right shoulder.
    Panel 3: Alongside his right shoulder.
    Panel 4: Nowhere to be found.
    Panel 5: Flanking Gina from the right side, directly facing the Professor flanking from the left.
    Panel 6: Taking position behind Gina.
    Panel 7: Moved a little closer behind Gina, but it’s actually the Professor’s turn to circle around and take position behind her.

    Don’t know about them, but I’m ready for a motion-sickness pill.

  343. True Fable
    November 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Yes, I realize this is just going to get covered up by a new thread and/or nine zillion other comments about the same thing, but by golly, Truman Fable is gonna Have His Say on Today’s Sunday Funnies!!!

    JP Ooooh, Guilt rears its ugly head! But instead of Sam blurting out, “My old law school flame hit on me, and so did your so-called ‘best friend’, and Sophie saw it all, and NO, you little ponytailed freak, I am NOT going to submit to blackmail about it either!” Instead, he’s opting for the uncomfortable change-of-subject thing. Sam, you fool. Just do Abbey; now that you’ve hugged her and got girl germs on you, you might as well. Idjit.
    A3G Well, didn’t see this one coming. They are following Peter Parker to Hollywood from New York City. What the hell is this, why can’t comic strips ever end one single freakin’ plotline? HUH?! WHY NOT!!
    DtM Okay, so Dennis isn’t hip on humor. Neither is the Ketchum Consortium. Well, little kiddies will like it.
    FW Hallelujah! A Good Funky Winkerbean! No smirking, no pathos, no tearjerking nonsense, just a nice strip about leaf raking. I needed this. Sometimes, Batiuk, you’re not so much the asshole that I think you are.
    MT Further proof that Wilson and Nolan got their inspiration from Jackelrod. Yep, fishin’ and turkeys. It must be near Thanksgiving.
    MW Mary is so sanctimonious considerate. “well, all RIGHT, if you INSIST, I’ll try to find his owner but they’d better have a good excuse for taking away something that makes me look like a caring and sensitive human being, instead of a future puppy mill magnate.”
    RMMD I just shook my head as I read this. I KNOW for damn sure that everyone and their dog (yes Mary lookin’ at YOU) is going to remark on the strong undercurrent of homoerotic wordplay today. Instead they’ll miss the point: Rex doesn’t know SHIT about fishing. He knows what kind of gear to buy and everything you can learn from Fly Fishing Magazine, but he really doesn’t know how to do it. So, he’ll sit on the shore and take pictures of Niki and tell June about the great time they had. She’ll never suspect Rex is secretly a raging shopaholic. Once Niki is done with fishing, Rex will have to find someone else to pal around with just for the excuse to invest thousands of dollars of equipment he’ll never use.
    Oh, and there are criminals nearby. Yeah.
    FBoFW ??? No, seriously: ??? Standby for rant.

    What the hell, WHY would Lynn show this? It wasn’t funny THEN, it isn’t funny NOW, it’s boring and pointless and DAMN IT THIS IS UNFAIR! There are easily at least twenty people on this board right now who could do a better job pissing pictures in the snow, than what Lynn is offering through this Sunday strip. She has TWENTY EIGHT YEARS of Sunday strips to choose from, and she picks this horrible blast from the past to shine up, color in and tout as HUMOR? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!

    Our own bright, funny Dingo is running to and fro looking for work, while Lynn is COASTING on unfunny, unworthy zombies. That’s NOT FAIR. He could be putting his humor and talents to work entertaining us for a LIVING; let Lynn rest on her laurels and merchandise from the past.

    Ed Power’s My Cage was taken off the print page at the Chron, when it SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEFT IN! Thank GOD FBOFW was taken out, I would have blown an artery right about now. MC has heart and wit and cleverness in every panel, and I fail to see ANY of that in today’s Foob debacle. Foobacle.

    Dean Booth, bats :[, Red Greenback, and other talented parodists, not to mention the dozens of brilliant wordsmiths on this site alone, could do these things full time but oh no, got to have space in the paper to run this RETCON BULLSHIT FROM CORBEIL instead!

    And sure, I’ll say it: Truman Fable’s Just Peachy could run instead and be funny, timeless and nowhere near as pompous, (not to mention it would help put three wonderful kids through college and one on through med school!) but NOOOOOoooo! Editors must continue to run the inspiration for Pasty While Folks in its original form, stupid and careworn and form-fitted for Lynn Apologists everywhere, with characters like Delicate Genius Mike and Stoopid Stoopid Liz and Roadside Toadmouth April and Cheatin’ John and FUCKING CLUELESS ELLY and all their ancillary support players!

    There is NO JUSTICE in the world, folks, no fucking justice at all, and today’s Foob bears that ugly truth out in living color.
    /rant

  344. mnemonica
    November 18th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    How is it that this dog in Mary Worth just came from an overnight stay at the vet’s and STILL doesn’t have his shots or tags?

  345. CrabbyGenes
    November 18th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    #343 True Fable. My goodness! Agreed! Agreed! But you’re going to give yourself a stroke! Calm, calm, calm!…think of goats, sweet baby goats bleating out “meh…meh…meh…” and nanny-goats and billy-goats, and goat farms, and…um…other nice things! ;-)

  346. Godzooky
    November 18th, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MW: I wonder, does Karen Moy really think Mary bending over backwards to pat herself on the back, dishing out self-aggrandizing platitudes, threatening to change the condo rules, and condescending to be “willing to be charitable” makes her someone readers want to read about?

  347. True Fable
    November 18th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    #345 CrabbyGenes – sorry, Baby Face. I just felt the urge to butt something when I read that strip. Grr.

    Yes, goats …sweet little goats.

    I do feel better. Thanks, sweetie pie. ;-)

  348. Niall
    November 18th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Sundays are up!

    Is it me, or does this Blondie feel like an older style? I’ve never seen them talk and, in fact, argue in this way. Ever. In other words, act like a normal couple (kinda). It feele like something from the 40s or 50s run.

    Dennis‘ “I thought so” balloon, as well as his expression, does not work. Much, much too old on him.

    If the FC kids were there at the wedding, mommy Keane would not have been able to wear white…

    Mary Worth gets meddled again! She’s losing her touch! And being “charitable” does not mean keeping someone else’s pet, it’s doing all you can to find its owner. Charity means sacrifice.

    Now the Phantom narration box is doing alliteration! And.. “You swine”? Now really, that was unnecessary.

    Only a minimal amount of Rex Morgan double-entendre today; once more, a single panel. We’re about to leave the trout-fishing behind and get that gunplay coming. About bloody time.

    Sally Forth may well wonder when Hillary went snap-insane. Or from whose side of the family she takes that from.

    Wow, the comics weren’t too bad today. Then again, I don’t know where to get the Sunday Gil Thorp or Dick Tracy, current bastions of insanity…

  349. Calico
    November 18th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    #343 – FOOB would have been a tiny bit funny if young Elly had poured that bottle of Eau de Merde on John’s head.

  350. Never teh Bride
    November 18th, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Lynn J. has a touch of the Alzheimer’s, maybe? Today’s strip blew…suddenly young Elly really is young Elly and not the oldyounglookslikeJohn Elly we’ve come to know and, er, love in these last few weeks. But here’s the catch–it’s futuredrawn young Elly, not the young Elly original.

    I agree with with 349. If this was the young Elly original, John would be covered in free-with-purchase apothecary style cleanser.

  351. Jim
    November 18th, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FW: Am I the only one expecting Les and/or Summer to have a nervous breakdown around Christmas? I truly see one coming for at least one of them.

  352. minnie
    November 18th, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Dizzily surfeit with all your insights, reminiscences and links — I got through ‘em all today! Took some catching up after being in sort of wilderness, incommunicado with the outside world, for a couple of weeks.
    MT — with those ugly bald heads, I wonder if wild turkeys are carrion-eaters, like vultures and condors?
    JS — This Sunday strip charmed me with its simple, imaginative and successful plot — completely off the spend-big ratrace. A good “heads-up” for the coming giftie-holiday season.
    OK brilliant ones, cheers and humble thanks.

  353. John C Fremont
    November 18th, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    # 343 – “Cheatin’ John and FUCKING CLUELESS ELLY!” Sounds like a great name for a strip.

    MT – Be sure to wet your hands before you handle that trout, Rusty!

    MW – I appreciate panel 6 where Toby is apparently telling Mary in confidence, “I could help you put out fliers, if you know what I mean.”

    JP – Nice save, Sam. But hey, I’m just glad they’re back. I mean that she’s back. Abbey. Abbey and her, uh, assets and, er, attributes.

  354. gleeb
    November 18th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Dick: If we can count on Tracy being just nuts enough, he’ll shoot the painting because it looks like it’s going for a gun. And I think we can count on that.

    ‘bean: Is Summer playing with a Chat Bleu doll? Because that would be the best thing in this strip since I started reading it again.

    Parker: That’s a rather feeble attempt to change the subject, Sam. Face it, you’re busted.

    Trail: “I hope our Rex ‘n’ Niki fishing trips never end!”

    Phantom: These guys aren’t pirates; they’re overactive muggers. Real pirates steal the ship, sell the cargo, and ransom the crew.

    Rex: Oh, Niki, Niki, Niki. Of course he’s not fishing. He’s already landed his catch.

  355. dyslexic dog
    November 18th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Having never paid much attention to Lynn and her brood (broob?) until I started hanging with you guys, I don’t get the point of her retconning. If she wants time off, just do repeats, like Sparky. Maybe she just wants to wait until she’s dead, too.

    That said, I believe I have totally missed today’s punchline, unless it’s that hubby thought she was having fun at the Grubberware lingerie show, but she wasn’t, ha ha. Or that he, with that post-auto-coital smirk and Gene Shalit fright wig, knew she could not have possibly had a better time than he was having, y’know, with her out of the house.

    Too many oddities. The plunger automatically standing erect. A beach toy being sold as an “all-plastic cleanup container.” Eau d’Ammonia??? People eating little pink bars of soap. And it looks like Elly is trying to speak in the second to last panel, but the balloon belongs to the woman seemingly drinking the “Planet X” beer (or whatever…that’s the best I could do with Opera at 600%). And Elly coming home empty-handed.

    This together with all the old Michael the Menace strips from the past week, it feels like a waste of time. I think I’ll go back to my old habit of calling it For Better but Mainly For Worse, from a distance.

  356. Calico
    November 18th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Yes, Rex is perfectly happy just taking Niki’s pic over and over. He can hardly wait until shower and sleeping bag time. Mmmm-Hmmm.

  357. Calico
    November 18th, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    #355 – Planet X Beer – in Lynn’s universe, I think that must be Lydia Pinkham’s “Medicine.”

  358. dyslexic dog
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    FW and Crankshaft are about to converge.

  359. bats :[
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    343. TF: wahooooo! Faboo rant! I am honored to be part of the tirade, even as a duck and cover to avoid the LJ-intended shrapnel.

    Rant on! Ninja goat and all!

  360. John C Fremont
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    # 354 – Gee, thanks for reminding me of that horrible Le Chat Bleu. As Yosemite Sam might well say, oooooh, I hates that Chat!

    And speaking of being a week and a half late to the discussion, I prefer to think that Batiuk was accurately quoting Alan Alda from that “Hawkeye’s Done Gone Blind!” episode of MASH wherein Hawkeye misquotes McBeth by saying, “Lead on, McDuff!” before bumping into something. Yes, Batiuk was referencing Hawkeye Pierce’s willingness to be led blindly, only to result in hilarity and hijinx.

    Okay, I don’t actually believe that. But much like Agent Mulder, I want to believe. My kitty Scully agrees.

    Say, where’s that new thread?

  361. Dennis Jimenez
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Gina and pornstache! In Hollywood! Golly!

    Blondie – Corny but true.

    Foob – Wow, talk about taking a turn for the worse – Dr. John kind of scares me in the last panel – I keep seeing his head hygienist working on him below the frame line.

    DtM – What do May flowers bring – um, if you pinch them off, don’t you get sensimile?

    JP – Sam exposed – then huckster the fuckster decided to walk.

    MT – Lube your hand before handling that trout, Rusty.

    MW – It’s clear to me that Ian’s been giving chin stroking lessons to everyone at the Charterstone. He has a gift for teaching.

    RMMBLA – More to come – more to come. Meanwhile – Steve Earle is number one with a bullet.

    S4th – So does Sally still bite the dick off Hil’s chocolate Thanksgiving tom turkey?

    Adios Amigos

  362. Red Greenback
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    True Fable foob rant @ # 343: Wow!….Wow! You brought happy tears to my eyes!

  363. Len
    November 18th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    With the release of the new “Beowulf” flick, it’s appropriate that One Big Happy brings back the Closet Monster. Grendel was obviously more akin to Rose is Rose’s Bathroom Monster, craving the kid’s toes as after-dinner mints.

    And would this make Rose’s Biker Chick into Grendel’s Mother? Oh, great Satanic MILF!

  364. Adam Villani
    November 18th, 2007 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Where was I:
    I’m one of the few people who was actually awake — and working on my Phys 106 homework at Caltech — when the Northridge earthquake hit at 4:31 A.M. on January 17, 1994. Definitely the heaviest quake (on the MMI scale, not the Richter scale) I’ve felt. We walked outside and you could see the stars because the street lights had been knocked out, and there was a big chorus of car alarms to be heard.

  365. mentarman
    November 18th, 2007 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Haven’t read all 300 something comments, but:

    The professor calls himself “the professor” when speaking to this young paramour of his? I don’t wanna know.

    Gina really needs some conditioner. Or mousse. Or something (about Mary).

  366. Braniff
    November 18th, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    FC-I have to wonder about the idea of Mommy and Daddy getting wed with their four kids present. Did one of the Grandpas get mortally wounded by the shotgun that he was aiming at Daddy–which exploded in his face?

  367. John Meeks
    November 19th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Family Circus, IMHO, is behind the times. Teachers in my school district no longer assign that kind of punishment because experts say that it discourages kids from wanting to write. Such repetitive writing as punishment apparently makes kids averse to anything having to do with pen and paper. Things move at their own pace, however, in Family Circus land. Remember when the FC clan got their first minivan? Or when the mother finally changed her hairstyle after decades? I have to admit that I still read Family Circus after nearly 30 years of Sunday newspaper reading. I’ll give them a break this time…

  368. John Meeks
    November 19th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Dan Quayle saw this Sunday’s Family Circus (with the kids clamoring to be bastards) and decided to limit his Sunday news intake to Parade Magazine and Fox News Sunday.

  369. Earl and Mooch
    November 19th, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    I remember Pope John Paul I dying in 1978 but not Pope Paul VI. (Being five years old and not Catholic I couldn’t grasp why the Catholic church would choose a bird as its new leader.)

    I remember Reagan being shot in 1981 (a couple of my teachers were in near-panic) but not John Lennon a few months before.

  370. John Meeks
    November 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    I remember being in elementary school when Pope John Paul II and Ronald Reagan were shot. I also remember when John Lennon died.

    The earliest celebrity death that I remember was that of Elvis Presley when I was barely a tot. And I remember asking my parents why all those people on television were sleeping (it turned out to be Jonestown)…

  371. Carly
    December 20th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    Or, you know GODDAMNED WATER BOTTLES. You know, those things that have been around for athletes long before tap water became uncool?

  372. victoria sheds garages
    July 22nd, 2008 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    Did you draw this? Do you have a site where you can view an entire comic story?

    Are you familiar with manga? Your style is very western..like the old comics..

  373. Undra Quispe
    December 18th, 2010 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Wow! Nice comic stories above I really like the all. sena smh10

  374. air jordan 5 retro
    January 1st, 2014 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    For Lights, it's a temporary concussion; he wasn't going to be permanently at a deficient because of that but it was going to exacerbate things. It's funny, people go, "Oh, that was really a one-seasoner." But when the pilot was originally done nobody had any idea where the series would go, which is why I was hired. Now in hindsight, that was the obvious season. There are easily five years more stories for this world. Season 2 probably wouldn't have had one over-riding arc the way Season 1 did; in a way it would have become more standard — the way Nurse Jackie tells its stories: Certain issues the main character is dealing with on an ongoing basis and others more contained to single episodes.

  375. botas asics
    January 1st, 2014 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Dresses, shirts and coats, may have looked comparatively plain as they progressed down the catwalk at Gianfranco Ferré, but as they retreated, cutaway backs, huge bows and other design tricks were revealed.

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