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Wedge some artifact smuggling in there and you’ve got pure gold

Hi and Lois, 5/14/12

An old standby in comics (or any other medium where corny jokes happen) is to have someone feign an inability to parse a completely standard turn of phrase any way but literally. Extremely minor kudos to Hi and Lois for at least portraying Lois reacting with wide-eyed bafflement and distress, exactly as an actual normal human would in this situation. “Wait, did … did Hi really not understand what I was getting at? Oh my God, is he having a stroke?”

Mark Trail, 5/14/12

“So I shot him! Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

Just as individual Mark Trail strips are created by combining archival clip art, so too are whole plotlines now being generated by mashing previous plots together. In this case, we seem to be in for some combination of “Mark’s friend Johnny Malotte is not guilty of murder even though all the evidence is against him” (which ran from October 2007 to March 2008, and which among other things featured Mark getting this same sort of jailhouse interview, which is usually the privilege of lawyers and clergy) and “Competition between rival fishing camps turns violent” (which ran from December 2009 to April 2010, and in which two forest ruffians beat up a senator). These were of course two of the more awesome storylines of recent memory, so we can only hope that hybridization produces increased vigor so as to provide us with even more entertaining mayhem.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/14/12

Sadly, Snuffy only managed to inspire Li’l Tater with a passion for justice, racial equality, and human rights. Everyone in Hootin’ Holler was outraged.

287 responses to “Wedge some artifact smuggling in there and you’ve got pure gold”

  1. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    MT: Let’s just hope Mark had to have a cavity search to get into the jail cell. He’d find out a whole new meaning of fisting.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

  3. nescio
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    BGSS: I know Hootin’ Holler isn’t big on technology, but I would guessed they had figured out a way to block/jam any radio signal that plays reggae music.

  4. Slug
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Look at Li’l Tater’s face. No, look at it! He’s not a baby, he’s an old midget (possibly female, given how the women in this feature look), and he’s tired of having to entertain folks with this baby act. Could Snuffy be subtly helping him “grow up”?

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Remove the dialogue from today’s strip and what we’re left with is a prisoner sortof headlocking a man, then moving to position himself behind him, and lastly they both seem to be adjusting their pants.

  6. Hibbleton
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Love isSTFU parents

  7. Cloudbuster
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    9CL: And she still hasn’t peed on anointed a stick! Just went straight to the doctor. Do women still do that?

    Luann: Today in “Morality Corner” we learn that it’s evil to be upset that the bite of a dangerously sociopathic child may have caused lasting damage to your finger.

    FW: You would think most parent volunteers wouldn’t be available for a “mandatory” school assembly on such short notice, given that they’d all be out living their “lives.” You might also think that parents might bridle at the fact that the school principle would try to “mandate” their participation in anything, as if they were children. Of course, you’re in the Funkyverse, so you’d be wrong.

    MT: “I can’t let my best fishing buddy stay in jail!” No, Mark? Really? Not even if he’s a murderer?

    MW: Did anyone ever notice rolling pastures stretching away around Charterstone before? Also: O. M. G., what a freaking lame excuse for a story we just had to endure. Mobsters! I want my mobsters, damn it!

    A3G: What Tommie hears: “Blah, blah, blah, blah Tommie! Blah blah blah blah blah coming back!”

    RMMD: “Should I put you down for three o’clock at ‘House of Pain,’ doctor?”

  8. Perky Bird
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    “Best fishing buddy”? Wow, just wait until Rusty hears that Mark would rather go fishing with a murderer than with him!

  9. Dennis Jimenez
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    H&L – Cuz I don’t give a shit….

    MT – Ah, Yes – Jail House Nuggies – This strip really has it all….

    BG&SS – Aw, Snuff – a spoonful of crank on his cornflakes will have li’l Jughaid spinning like a top….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  10. Chip Whittle
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: I like a good mall bookstore, but I gotta say, my eye’s drawn to the OLBRπ shop on the second floor there. There’s nothing like those late 70′s Eastern Orthodox mall churches.

    Funky Winkerbean: I’m sure that calling in every parent volunteer for a meeting on three hours notice is going to have no unwanted side-effects at all.

    Gasoline Alley: How could Lucky possibly screw up a business which depends on Slim‘s productivity?

    Mark Trail: Hey, wow! Mark Trail is stylishly dressed to host a variety show or telethon in 1974! This could be a big new step forward for him! He might even move into hosting environmentally-themed game shows!

    I also love how Shaved Dilbert’s Boss is clinging like a drunk to his pal there.

    Slylock Fox: Look at that, the prison is right next to the nudist colony!

  11. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MT-That is cold, Mark. You will skip out on a fishing trip with Rusty so you can help out a fishing buddy.

    JP-Why go to Steve’s office when you have a willing Sanchez in front of you?

    MW-The ones complaining will be the ones who will have to deal with your normal routine.

  12. Balto
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    OMG, now Hi’s right arm has shrunken horribly! Who knew ‘Rusty’s Disease’ was contageous?

  13. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    What IS Snuffy’s “usual music”? Bluegrass? Since the radio is one of those old wooden ones from the 1930s with the vacuum tubes, does it play songs in black & white? If so, “bluegrass” would really be “dull-grey-grass”.

  14. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Sunday JP –Direct from the Catskills, elderly Jewish comic… JACKIE BLACKSTONE!!! If you’ve never encountered Blackstone’s particular brand of “comedy” before (like the unfortunate flight attendant), then you’ve lived a charmed life. His jokes don’t just kill cats, y’know…

    And wasn’t Mr. B a down-on-his-luck RV salesman a mere seven months ago?

    http://joshreads.com/images/11/09/i110904jp.jpg

  15. Horace Broon
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    I hope Jackelrod isn’t going to rest on merging two stories together. Suggested dialogue for tomorrow:

    “He has an enclosed lake where he invites rich people to come and catch fish that can’t escape, even though Trish tried to alert the authiorities by writing Bible verses on golden fish-tags. He also hated Trish’s pet raccoon, who is blind, trapped under a car, and doesn’t understand his hostility towards her.”

  16. Pozzo
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    I guess in addition to his still, Snuffy must have a couple of acres of ganja growing off in the hills somewhere, to go with his Bob Marley obession. Lookin’ forward to his bluegrass version of “No Wummin, No Cry.”

  17. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Luann – A case study in the fact that actual behavior does not distinguish the good characters from the bad ones.

    “My boss makes me work, and gets upset when she catches me sitting in the booths chatting with my friends while I am on the clock” – the boss is EVIL.

    “Your friend brought her daughter in here, and encouraged her to bit me, showering her with praises after she did. This is the same friend who threatened me physically a few weeks ago for insisting that her boyfriend actually work while he was on the clock. Now, I think the wound is infected and there may be nerve damage. I’m considering a lawsuit.” – the boss is EVIL.

    Seriously, TJ’s dialogue today makes me want to punch him at least 75% more than I usually do. Would his reaction be acceptable in any way if we didn’t know that Ann is EVIL and thus deserves whatever happens to her?

    ASM – Perfect Spider-Man plot. He sits, watches, and whines while the villain runs himself out of business.

  18. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    MT: To investigate this crime thoroughly, Mark will need to go to both Gene’s fishing camp and to the victim’s as well. But maybe he was actually shot by yet a third rival? Better check out all the fishing camps, throughout the entire northern part of the state! Of course, to alleviate suspicion of what he’s doing there, Mark will have to go undercover by actually renting a boat and going fishing, at each site. Boy, won’t Mark have some great tales to share with Rusty when he gets home!

  19. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MT: I thought Rusty was your best fishing buddy. Since you blow off Rusty at every turn and never talk to Baldy McMurderer, what’s the diff?

  20. Hibbleton
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    JP: Sanchez’ boobs seem a little deflated this morning. They must be in rest mode after Saturday’s epic expansion.

  21. Josh
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#7): Just went straight to the doctor. Do women still do that?

    According to my wife, who’s in the biz, they do, sometimes! It’s because they think that getting information from a doctor is always going to be more official than information from a piece of plastic you buy for a few bucks at the drug store. BUT HERE’S THE SECRET, LADIES: If you go to a doctor for a pregnancy test, they’ll just have you pee on the same piece of plastic you could have bought from the drug store, since they are extremely accurate.

    Josh

  22. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    It’s not a reggae radio station. Snuffy is trying to inspire his kid to walk through listening to the songs on the radio, which all have something to do with walking. REM’s “Stand”, Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walking”, Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” and on and on. What, you never heard of “walk radio” before?

  23. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    9CL – It is only Monday. On Tuesday, Juliette and her thrall will interrupt the proceedings when they are caught having sex in the waiting room. On Wednesday-Thursday, Gran-ma-ma and the non-Nazi, ex-Wehrmacht officer fly in, and immediately proceed to prove that, despite being in their nineties, they still can have sex on the floor of the doctor’s office. Friday, Amos shows up and ends up wedged into the supply closet with his glasses askew and a disorieted look on his face.

    Saturday, we get the diagnosis.

  24. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    FC-What a rebel Billy is. He is going down the up escalator.

  25. LoFoMoFo
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    MT: It appears that Gene is about to give Mark a noogie and Mark is trying to give Gene a reach around wedgie. This is the way guys greet one another. In prison.

  26. The Grandstander
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Talk about a bonus! Josh’s link back to a 2/10/10 posting not only shows an hilarious Mark Trail episode, but a glimpse of the drunken Helen Clark (hic) in Mary Worth. What a great way to start a day!

  27. Jonn
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    What sort of radio station could Hootin’ Holler be in range of which would have Bob Marley playing?

  28. Ed Dravecky
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Panel two makes Mark Trail look like the unholy love child of Lil Abner and Judge Parker, although that would explain quite a lot.

  29. Literate Dead
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MT: Did he just open his jacket between panels… and… is he undoing his belt? Mark… Mark, what are you doing?! No, Mark, I don’t care how arousing that bald sheen is, fight it!

    …Besides, that’s encroaching on his cellmate’s territory!

  30. Roto13
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Googling “shot fighting” brings up a video of two Spanish kickboxers sparring. I really, REALLY hope this means this storyline is leading up to a mixed martial arts tournament for forest rangers and fishermen and what-have-you. I’ve always said that Mark Trail needs more angry spooning.

  31. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#21): But Josh, the doctor refers to “tests”, plural, so they ran a whole battery of diagnostics. Here are the results:
    1. You’re an idiot.
    2. You’re egotistical and self-centered.
    3. You’re totally irresponsible.
    4. Your whole family is ridiculous.
    5. Did I mention that you’re an idiot?

  32. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT-Gene, this might be the weed I confiscated talking but when I look at you it is like looking into a mirror. A bald fleshy mirror.

  33. Lawyerbob
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT: I can’t wait for the trial, when Mark invokes the little-known “Mark Trail-Best Fishing Buddy” privilege. I just hope the judge who overrules him doesn’t have facial hair!

  34. Crankenstank
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Bob Marley in a Snuffy Smith strip? The Ancient Mayans were RIGHT!!

  35. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MT — The part of “Buddy Fisher” is being played by EDGAR KENNEDY:

    http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/9287.gif

  36. Mibbitmaker
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: Oh, JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY, McELDRAGITOUT!!!
    …says the really late webcomic maker.

    FW: “…except the gay couple who this whole thing is all about in the first place. Those two are irrelevant, of course.”

    MW: Omigod, the storyline is over, yet still it won’t go away!!!
    (breaks down sobbing)

    RMMD: That can be arranged, Rex — says everybody.

  37. sporknpork
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Let’s hope this jailhouse visit doesn’t end in a stilted conjugal visit. *shudder*

  38. UncleJeff
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#31): I hope you are referring to the tests for the Burburs and not our dear Pope.

  39. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Slylock finds a twig with green leaves, and surmises that Harry Ape must have broken it off by brushing against it. Right. Brilliant, Sly. Here’s my take:

    1) The branches of that tree are over Harry’s head. He’d have to climb the tree to break a twig.

    2) Harry hasn’t even made it from the prison to that tree as evidenced by the fact that he’s hiding right behind you, dumbass!

  40. TheDiva
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    BGSS: Must be desperate if he’s turning to them colored musicians for help.

    MT: Normally visiting a murder suspect in his cell is not the sort of thing you’re allowed to do, but who’s gonna tell Mark Trail he can’t, huh? You?

    9CL: “You’re a complete idiot who’s just wasted everybody’s time. Oh, and your nymphette eye candy character isn’t that bright either.”

    FW: “We’re going to solve this the Tom Batiuk way: by smugly lecturing the problem until it goes away!”

    Luann: I think the idea is Ann is exaggerating her injury, but that still doesn’t change the fact that she shouldn’t have been injured in the first place.

    MW: “Back to what I love doing best: torturing plants and enjoying their agonies!”

    SM: Stan Lee gives a shout-out to his favorite Gerlich, Nevada radio station.

  41. DOlz
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MT- Well now we know the secret for Cherry finally consummating her marriage with Mark … an orange jump suit, prison bars, a murder rap, and an audience.

  42. Ed Dravecky
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Billy’s question about rides remains forever unanswered after his head is lacerated by the right escalator handrail inexplicably crossing to the left side while young Jeffy rides neatly under the whirling band of death, all because the adult Jeffy can’t draw perspective properly.

  43. Dennis Jimenez
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#21): Pee on a stick – it sounds like a delicacy that LuAnn Powers might get from an itnerant vendor at the South Dakota State Fair….

  44. pugfuggly
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MT I’m very much looking forward to the dramatic court scene when Johnny has to try on an ill fitting pair of hip-waders to prove his innocence. “If them waders are too snug, he ain’t no thug!”

    ASM How do you clap sarcastically? By klapping with a ‘k’ of kourse!

    FW ” I need everybody in the school in one room so we can settle once and for all who this ‘gay couple’ is! Do they have names? Has anyone seen them before? Did they even attend this school until earlier this week? WHO ARE THEY!?!?!”

    MW Wait, what? That was it? No story, no conflict, no meddling of any kind? Did Mary get stung by a bee and have a fever-dream in the garden…?

  45. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    MT: Another camp? This place is lousy with camps: fishing camps, hunting camps, dog-training camps, toxic-waste-dump camps. Perhaps this strip takes place in some form of alternative camp-based economy.

    MW: Is that Mark Trail’s pink shirt that Mary’s wearing? It fits her pretty well, actually—but I’m horrified by the thought that Mary’s wearing it post-coitus, as in one of those rom-com tropes (now try to get the image of Mary walking around in nothing but that shirt out of your mind). Which would mean that Mary managed to meddle Mark Trail into coitus. During the act, Mary thought of Gina and Bobby’s wedding guests praising her, while Mark just closed his eyes and thought of pancakes.

  46. TheDiva
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#21): I can see why circumstances might make going to a doctor a preferable option–a teenager who doesn’t want to risk sneaking a home test past her parents, for example. Or in Edda’s case, being too stupid to be trusted with the task of administering the test herself.

  47. Little Blue Bicycle
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Honestly Snuffy, what is Li’l Tater supposed to do with just a K block and an R block? Buy and sell Kroger stock? Process Krypton? Stop dancing and buy the boy a vowel.

  48. Dood
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    There ain’t no way Snuffy and Tater are gonna play Big City.

  49. Mustang
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT – I’ve never been arrested, but I’m pretty sure if I were, I’d call a lawyer. Then again, this is Lost Forest where Mark’s fists ARE the law.

  50. KreatureFeatures
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    GT: In the years I’ve spent watching high school softball, I’ve never seen a catcher dump a batter. Nor have I seen a batter without a helmet cage. The same goes for a bench-clearing brawl. Hit the showers, Gil Thorp, your softball credibility is out of its league.

  51. Ed Dravecky
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Either the shadowy world of fishing camp operation is insanely lucrative or Jack Elrod just doesn’t have the clip art he really needs for his The Wire fanfic.

  52. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#15): And “Meanwhile, Rusty sits alone, holding his fishing pole.”

  53. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Dogs of C-Kennel — I think we know what REALLY happened to Becky’s arm in Funky Winkerbean:

    http://www.gocomics.com/dogsofckennel/2012/05/14

  54. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    The Ineffectual Spiderman: So the play closes and MJ loses her job. That enrages her to the extent that she finally cracks and becomes a super-villian! If she were to develop her awesome powers to get herself kidnapped, she’d really be a threat! She’d team up with Hardy-Har-Har, who’s power is to put quotes inside a speech baloon even though he makes up those words himself! True, there is no logical way to parlay those unnatural talents into any kind of wealth-generating venture, but maybe they can get some free marketing from JJ Jameson if they promise to be menacing to Spiderman.

  55. Cloudbuster
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#6): Wow, that’s … really disturbing. Will she become the most controlling mom ever? The kid will be 16 and she’ll still be ghostwriting her own Mother’s Day cards:

    “To the best, most beautiful, smartest mother that ever lived, whom I constantly emulate but can never hope to surpass!”

    “Yes, honey, it’s sad that you’ll never be as pretty or smart as Mommy, but I know you do the best you can! Aren’t you glad you have such a wonderful Mommy to compensate for your personal failings?”

  56. Señor Tortilla
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    9CL: The result, is, of course, Edda isn’t pregnant, despite weeks of dancing around the issue.

    FW: Principal Nate grows a spine, but Cayla still can’t open her eyes all the way.

    Also, a few people at SoSF have noticed Les hasn’t made an appearance in two weeks. If Batiuk goes through this entire storyline without a Les Moore appearance, well, that deserves some sort of award.

    Luann: Who’s the bad sociopath here, again?

    MT: Wait, Mark Trail is COMBINING storylines now? That means we could theoretically have Rusty almost drown, have Molly McBear (or whatever), Señora Momjeans, and Senator Almost-Died-in-A-Crash ALL in one? The mind boggles to think of the possibilities.

    FC: Blessem Mall has two levels? Whodathunkit?

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    CdS: zing! avoiding volcanoes is a good thing.

    GF: Satchel is taking a swing at 9CL, just like the rest of us.

    Lio: win. win with cocktail swords.

    SBp: old joke with ‘new’ tech is still old joke.

    Bizarro: Dolly?

    GT: the most boring bench-clearing brawl EVAR!!!

    JUMBLE: no one is afraid.

    Lockhorns: I resemble that remark.

    RMMD: Rex is thinking about June’s leather room.

    F-: Chris Hanson in 3, 2, 1. . . .

  58. LP2004
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#50): Please note that it’s a very polite bench-clearing brawl, with no punches thrown. I guess they just stand there and trade “Yo’ Mama” insults.

  59. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Snuffy: So right after “Get Up, Stand Up”, the radio starts to play Marley’s “Smoke Two Joints”. Snuffy keeps the funky dance, miming smoking a huge doobie. Because that’s totally in character, right? If this strip isn’t an insane drug vision, I’ve been reading it wrong for four decades.

  60. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Holy phatty, Snuf is a Marley fan ?!

  61. Cloudbuster
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45): MT: I can understand why competition for business would be so high, as running a fishing camp has to be about the most shaky business plan ever, considering that fishing is something you can do for free just about everywhere. The number of locales that are picturesque enough to support just one fishing camp or resort is pretty limited. Down here, a local state park with a large, beautiful reservoir with great fishing and boating, has had to “temporarily” (everyone hopes) shut down its lodge for lack of business. Turns out the hotel and visitor taxes from that were 80% of the neighboring county’s tourism budget. Ouch. Clearly a motive for murder!

  62. Santa Royale With Cheese
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    FW: So about this time shift business… did they jump to a time when parents, volunteers, teachers emeritus, prominent alums, and boosters were all available for an ill-prepared mandatory assembly on three hours notice? I’m very curious to see how one alerts such a mob to such a mandatory event on such short notice.

  63. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MT – “Mark, ol BUDDY! Trish told me you were coming to help us!”

    “US!? So, NOW you are telling me that Trish is your coconspirator in this dastardly deed?”

    “Uh, no, Mark. When I said, ‘US’, I was refering to YOU and I. The DA offered me a deal if I were to cooporate with them in bringing you in! Now that you are safely behind bars they say you will be charged with the recent murder of two UPS men”.

    “Well, I CAN’T let my best fishing buddy stay in jail, or myself for that matter! That’s WHY I brought this dandy FILE with me which I have right down here cleverly hidden in my pants!”

    “Oh, THAT’s a file? *Humph*, And here I thought that lump in your pants was from you being excited to see me!”

    “THAT joke is so worn out it’s not funny, Gene!”

    “So is your lame comic strip, Mark!”

  64. Cloudbuster
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#60): It’s not really surprising. Given that moonshining has been passe’ for decades, what the shifty hillbillies around here really do is grow weed. Weed is a gateway drug for Reggae.

  65. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#52): And “Meanwhile, Rusty sits alone, holding his fishing pole.”

    I wouldn’t touch that line with a ten-foot pole.

  66. Holly Folly
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    I like how they just let Mark Trail into the jail cell unescorted. Here you go Mark, you just go visit your old fishing buddy who just murdered a guy, straight up. There is no way this could turn out badly.

  67. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#65): But I hung it right out there for all of you!

  68. SgtSaunders
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Very suspect, tripadelic action in Hootin’ Holler these days. Bob Marley on the radio and could this myserious “KR” be a backward shout out to Radio Kingston? By next Monday I expect to see Hootin’ Holler changed to Trenchtown Holler and the populace all mad for the gange. Of course, the white likker remains in vogue. You don’t just quit a decades-long moonshine addiction over the course of a week, no matter what the cultural tide change brings.

  69. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45): A cross-over by Mary Worth would make a great Sunday Mark Trail strip. Mary would totally surpass the pufferfish in her ability to swell up with pride. Probably in the toxicity of her ovaries, too.

  70. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Newsflash!: The lovely and precise wossname will be visiting the DC area the end of May, and while I’m not putting together a full meet-up, if any local ‘mudges would like to get together for dinner on 5/30 or 5/31, please email me at bourbonbabeunbuckled@yahoo.com (I’m hoping that email works; it deactivated without my realizing it, so if your email gets kicked back to you, let me know here).

  71. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#52): MT -Or, at this point due to repeated rejection, A sad and lonely Rusty sits alone in the forest while holding his rod and tackle.

  72. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

  73. Cloudbuster
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#71): I hope Rusty washes his hands after handling that nightcrawler.

  74. Chip Whittle
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: Man, could they even have tests to cover everything that’s wrong with Edda?

    Broom Hilda: That chocolate bunny doesn’t look a thing like an embarrassing racist sugar bowl figurine from the early 20th century, and especially doesn’t look like one when it has pink lips in the Comics Kingdom version. I’m not intending to raise trouble here, and can easily believe other people don’t see it. But I think a side view of the bunny would’ve probably been a better composition, and let Russell Myers pose it so there’s one big sad soulful eye looking right up at Hilda.

    Dick Tracy: Um…I don’t think you actually get qualified to be a detective just by being married to someone. It’s a profession, not a social disease.

    Love Is… accepting that it has only ironic readers anymore and is spending its time trolling them.

    Peanuts 1965: Alas, even the greats sometimes did “those newfangled kids do something! If I reference it that’s a joke, right?”

    Reply All has put a small sheep in a pink bikini. Remember, when Donna Lewis isn’t doing this, she’s working for the Department of Homeland Security, so when you see airports requiring you to put bikinis on your sheep, this is why.

    Ripley’s Believe It Or Not: A Queen Termite will lay an egg every 3 seconds for more than a decade! Edda Burber is going to be so ambiguously jealous when she finds out.

    How did the bit about a Queen Termite laying eggs every three seconds for a decade not make the Mother’s Day edition of Ripley’s?

    Watch Your Head: Hey, it’s the quarterly re-introduction of the characters so I have no idea what’s going on with them anymore! I love these weeks!

  75. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MT-I can’t believe they arrested you for shooting your competition. I shoot my competition all the time that is why I am the bestest writer at the nature magazine I work for.

  76. Tetra D'Toxin
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    JP: Typically, when a Big Time Hollywood Producer wants to option the film rights to a book, his people call the book people, boilerplate contracts are rotely signed, and money’s wired from one account to the other. Avery Blackstone (born Fievel Schwarzstein), on the other hand, knows that the Parker-Stones have only ever fallen ass-upwards from small fortunes into obscenely large fortunes, so he’s decided to at least mildly inconvenience Sam before handing over the suitcase full of cash — which to Sam is a tragedy on par with anything out of Shakespeare.

    Snuffy: So it turns out that Hoot’n Holler is really a white enclave descended from Scots POWs who escaped Downpressor Man Oliver Cromwell’s labor camps and fled to the remotest reaches of the Blue Mountains. It’s like The Village, but actually surprising.

  77. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is-I don’t know why she is buying clothes. We never see the Loves wear clothes.

  78. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT – “Yes, Mark, this fellow with the other fishing camp was wierd. He wore ascots and fancy clothing while fishing. He also always locked up his fishing lures. It was as if he were SMUGGLING something inside of them, or something!”

    “Hmmmmm, this all sounds odly familiar. WAS there, by chance, a reporter by the name of Kelly Welly fishng with this fellow? If so, did you happen to murder her too?”

  79. NoahSnark
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    So Mark blew off Rusty to share affectionate touches with a guy in a prison cell. I guess we should all be glad since he seems to be using fishing as a code word for “swallow my worm”.

  80. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#3):
    Yeah, I would only think they got a few stations – VOA, and a Christian station that features Tradio.

  81. wossname
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    GT – We know little Jaxon is frolicking with Dinny and Whatshisname, so I can only conclude that “WAAAH!” is coming from Coach Mrs. Thorp.

    MT – Oh good, Mark, plunge the knife a little deeper into Rusty’s poor broken heart. “My best fishing buddy” is this jailbird, and not your own mutant stepson.

    A3G – I’m starting to think Nina is the most rational person in this arc.

    CdS – My goal for today is to use this in a conversation: “I’ll get there quickly and avoid volcanoes!”

    FW – Batiuk has really lucked out with the way this long-planned arc is syncing with real world news.

    MW – That’s IT??? You sent Mary all the way to Lawn Guyland for that?

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#70): Yes! And thanks to the lovely and precise bb,u for hosting! Hope some of y’all can get together with us for an evening of IRL snarking.

  82. Mibbitmaker
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    FINALLY! — New Pop Culture’s Kids is now up!

    This is why newspaper comic strip creators get some lead time!

    PCK: Proof that these Who lyrics apply to the current regime at NBC:

    Meet the new boss
    Same as the old boss!

  83. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#67): But I hung it right out there for all of you!

    So did my favorite American Idiot Idol:

    http://www.freerandomwallpapers.com/images/idol/William_Hung_She_Bangs_American_Idol.jpg

  84. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    FW-We all know that most of these students are walking out because they don’t want to be in school. Have you ever attended one of Mr. Moore’s classes it alternates between him crying uncontrollably for his dead wife and expecting people to praise him for being a wonderful writer.

  85. bunivasal
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    “If I can’t believe it, I’d rather not hear it. That’s why I beat those damn Ripleys to death.”

  86. Marc
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Luann- This just gets more idiotic by the day. Tomorrow, TJ is going to throw a bucket of scalding hot grease from the deep-fat fryer on Ann. He will then tell her how she deserves it for suggesting he take his lunch during a lull in business.

    Funky- I think the reason that Cayla looks so forlorn is because she is terrified that the gay couple in question is going to turn out to be her daughter and soon to be step daughter.

    9CL- It’s conclusive….. that you aren’t pregnant. Congratu-fuckin-lations. We all figured that out weeks ago.

    Mary Worth- That awful attempt at a kiss is going to give Mary “me time” fodder for weeks. Good thing too, those kidnapped girl and Nola epiphany things were losing their luster. Any longer and she might have been forced to actually have sex with Dr. Jeff.

    Mark Trail- If Arrested Development has taught me anything, it’s that prison’s have strict no touching rules for visitor/prisoner interactions. And Mark and Gene are getting awfully touchy feely over there.

    BGSS- I think he’s listening to Jump Around by House of Pain. That’s the only explanation I have for why Snuffy is hopping around like that. Of course it could just be because he’s an inbred hick.

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#77): Which is probably why Fashion Police never critiques “Love Is…”

  88. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#80):
    Here’s what Richard and Sal faxed in to a Tradio station a few years ago.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drDYGXBpIm8
    (Note – definitely NSFW or kids, contains some very non-PC stuff as well)

  89. Shrug
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#y145):

    “However, I am now wondering what these “tests” that doctor in 9CL is referring to, specifically, why they are in the plural.”

    ***********

    One pregnancy test and one intelligence test, the later mandated by her taking so long to getting around to the former. She failed both, with flying colors.

  90. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#71), @Cloudbuster (#73): We’re all waiting with ‘bated breath for your next Rusty zinger.

  91. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    MT-I can’t let my best fishing buddy stay in jail. We are going to go fishing next week.

    MT 2-I can’t let my best fishing buddy stay in jail. The other prisoners will go fishing for you.

  92. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#Y145): Thank you for pointing out that there’s no such thing as being pretty-much pregnant.

    Also, we established earlier that no matter what, Edda and Amos loooooove each other, and are willing to prove it by groping each other on large public rocks. Edda looked fairly cheery afterward. So her abject-but-of-course-graceful depression right now must mean horrifying pregnancy complications or a dweat beeg tumor or possibly terminal chinlessness. And I’ll arbitrarily place my bet, per your proposal, on not finding out until Saturday, with the full gloomy realization that next week is more likely.

  93. kkarenb
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – Mark is rubbing salt in poor Rusty’s wounds. And the jail visit – when someone visits a prisoner, don’t they meet in a room where they have no actual physical contact? Granted, my knowledge is limited to what I’ve read or seen on tv, but the prisoner and visitor are usually sitting at a table with a glass partition between them and speaking to each other on a closed circuit phone.

    Rex Morgan – In case Rex does actually take a beating, he has his smelling salts all ready.

    A3G – Someone please buy that woman a maternity outfit from this century! I can’t believe that any woman today, especially a career woman like Nina, would wear a frilly collar like that. It’s a good thing we never see the characters below the shoulders; I shudder to think what monstrosity she is wearing on her bottom.

  94. Tetra D'Toxin
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#17):

    ASM – Perfect Spider-Man plot. He sits, watches, and whines while the villain runs himself out of business.

    If Peter only had one one-thousandth of a granule of ambition, he could collate his life non-experiences into a self-help best seller called “Sulk Your Way To Success.” If he had two one-thousandths of a granule of ambition, he’d get a damn job.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45): Not only do fishing camps abound in the United Camps of America, but it looks like everyone but Rusty is Mark’s “best fishing buddy.”

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#62): I’ve taught in a few schools where the principle would throw together assemblies to announce ill-conceived, half-baked policies in an attempt to appear to be doing something about the non-problem du jour. Predictably, such reactive leadership is disruptive, frustrating, and demoralizing and creates a school-wide atmosphere of morose, disaffected alienation — so bonus points to Batiuk for verisimilitude.

  95. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

  96. bats :[
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#21): *Snurk* Josh’s wife is in the “whiz biz” *har*
    (Sorry, feeling a little juvenile this morning…)

    MW: THAT’S IT?!?!?!?! The most menacing that Mary was in this entire episode was to make a captive audience of a poor cab driver?!?!?!! Cripes…

  97. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    MT — “My best fishing buddy Gene always says one good Trout Slap deserves another.”

  98. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#93): Yes, now that Gina’s ponytail is finally going to disappear (please please), Nina’s collar will replace it in my nightmares. It seems to me that collars like that were just about gone even by the late Seventies.

  99. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#22):
    Didn’t Jimmy Cliff do “Walk on By” or something similarly titled?

  100. Little Guy
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    FW: Siri, is he going to give his “Principal Joe Clark Channeling Samuel L. Jackson in ‘Snakes on a Plane’” Speech?

  101. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#97): And who can forget “The Fish-Slapping Dance” from Monty Python?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#16): Actually, Snuffy gave up moonshining quite some time ago. I don’t remember exactly when, and Barney’s search engine doesn’t seem to help, but there were even stories about it in the “news” part of the newspaper at the time.

  103. geekwhisperer
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MT- I do so love the Mark Trail plotlines that rely on nothing but Mark’s omniscience. A gold-banded goose? Let’s go to a random location in Canada and find its origin. A man late for pancakes? He must have been kidnapped by pot growers (who tuck their shirts in). A man arrested for killing a rival, with his gun the admitted murder weapon? He must be innocent, so let’s skip fishing with (“I enjoy spending time with him”) Rusty and stride into this man’s jail cell, exchanging hugs and deep guarantees of loyalty. Mark Trail is not a nature writer (as we can tell by the fact that he’s filed exactly one story since June), he is the very force of nature itself. Wild nature, human nature; all nature in its most violent and wise.

    MW- I do hope that Bobby and Gina have Mary back for each life decision they make to heap adulation on her again and again. “I know that many of you think that this new upstairs bathroom was made possible by Home Designs Ltd, but really it was Mary Worth! She made it all possible! Let us toast to her and that small pewter dish of soaps shaped like a scallop shell!’

  104. Colonial
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    (BG)SS: Ross Perot is not impressed with Snuffy’s dancing.

  105. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45): MT: Another camp? This place is lousy with camps: fishing camps, hunting camps, dog-training camps, toxic-waste-dump camps. Perhaps this strip takes place in some form of alternative camp-based economy.

    Fascinating idea. Like the mythical island we discussed here a while back, where the people earned a precarious living taking in each other’s washing, everyone in Lost Forest and in the nearby southern part of the state, get by by going to each other’s camps, and eating pancakes. It’s a shame those two nice UPS guys’ marijuana camp didn’t work out. You would have thought that would have fit right in.

    // Oh, right. It’s illegal to grow marijuana on government land. That’s why it’s important to consider local rules and regulations when you make up a business plan.

  106. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    MT— I thought Rusty was Mark’s best fishing buddy. Oh, wait. In order to be a fishing buddy, Rusty would actually have to go fishing with Mark. Never mind.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45) said: “MT: Another camp? This place is lousy with camps: fishing camps, hunting camps, dog-training camps, toxic-waste-dump camps. Perhaps this strip takes place in some form of alternative camp-based economy.”

    So you’re saying the strip is all camp? I agree.

  107. greghousesgf
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Snuffy probably is growing weed. All the profit’s gone out of moonshining.

  108. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#13):
    Bluegrass is too modern for Hootin’ Holler. Snuffy’s usual music would run toward the likes of Uncle Dave Macon and the Skillet-Lickers. Maybe some vintage Carter Family or the Blue Yodeler himself, Jimmie Rodgers.

  109. Tetra D'Toxin
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#107): Yeah, the 21st amendment was a real bitch that way. Looks like Snuffy’s finally moved to Copperhead Road and gotten into the growin’ trade.

  110. odinthor
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Frazz. — Ha ha! It’s funny because supposedly literate Frazz doesn’t know that a “weed” is “something that grows spontaneously where you don’t want it,” not “something that’s ugly or uninteresting.”

    GT. — “Waaah!”? So Gil showed up at the game?

    Herman. — I’d recognize Philippe Égalité anywhere!

    Spidey. — Strictly speaking, Peter, they’re not clapping, they’re “klapping.” Details can be important, you know.

    #86. Marc.

    Mark Trail- If Arrested Development has taught me anything, it’s that prison’s have strict no touching rules for visitor/prisoner interactions. And Mark and Gene are getting awfully touchy feely over there.

    It’s a conjugal visit.

  111. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    MT – The Mark Trail readers, along with all of the gigantic animals of Lost Forest, the VILLAINOUS WOLVES of the Canadian border, and everyone in the SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE, can breath easier tonight knowing that the inept, and possibly insane, Mark Trail is FINALLY locked up safely behind bars together with that murderous best fishing buddy of his, Gene!

  112. JennyGee
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @cloudbuster, number 7: Yes! Blood tests are much more conclusive than pee tests. :x

  113. JennyGee
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#7): Yes! Blood tests are the only 100% accurate method of detection.

  114. KimberlyRose
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL – this would almost be worth it if there were some actual consequences to Edda playing fast and loose with everyone instead of just taking a damn pregnancy test. (In what reality is the co-pay for a doctor’s visit cheaper than an EPT?)

    And for a few more fun little details:
    professional ballet dancer = minimal body fat = irregular cycles (generally)
    stress caused by two jobs can also affect one’s cycles

    So much for “I’m late, I must be pregnant.” Little bout of stomach flu pretty much explains the nausea (which she apparently only had at the beginning of this arc), and wow, was that a waste of time.

  115. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#22):
    Let me know when they get to “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles.

  116. S. Stout
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Well we all know that Ann will lose at everything she does because she’s the supposed villain, but maybe this plot will show that Shannon is Toni’s daughter with Dirk.

  117. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Oop – Welcome to another week of “postponing sending Lola to proto-Arabia, never to be heard from again.”

    Curtis – There must be some kind of credit a teacher could award to a grade-school kid who knows who Gregory Peck is.

    Gasoline – Sold! To Mr. D.S.X. Mackinaw, who will soon inform us that Lucky is an incredibly valuable Cartoonibus silvestrii, worth a cool five hundred clams. I’m keeping an open mind on whether this guy’s a taxidermist or not.

  118. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Herb – And here’s Ernie again, the cab driver from “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Sesame Street.”

    love is… – Hm. Nothing. I’ve apparently lost my ability to be shocked. I think the goddamn zoo monkey story on Colbert helped there.

    Mary – Back to the normal routine. Snip, snip, snip! So much for Jeff. Now for the roses.

  119. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#y139): One horror movie I really liked, though, was SHAUN OF THE DEAD. In addition to gore and humor, there are copious amounts of something normally absent from the movie I’ve seen: common sense. Rewatchable.

    @Cloudbuster (#7): And she still hasn’t peed on anointed a stick! Just went straight to the doctor. Do women still do that?
    Seth tried and tried, but Edda just wouldn’t let go, so he carried her to the doctor. He’s in the room there, just off panel, standing with his arms crossed like Punjab.

    @Literate Dead (#29): Mark, what are you doing?! No, Mark, I don’t care how arousing that bald sheen is, fight it!
    The bald guy hasn’t had this bad a time in stir since that time he was sobering up and they brought in Pee-wee Herman! [*]

    @seismic-2 (#31): (I am silently ripping up my comment on Chickweed Lane.)

    @pugfuggly (#44): How do you clap sarcastically? By klapping with a ‘k’ of kourse!
    Yes! Or by simply chanting, “Klap, klap, klap…” [*]

  120. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#117):
    If I were a teacher, I would have had the class both read the book and watch the movie.
    (We were watching “Dr. Zhivago” in class by the time I was 11, so why not?)
    Mrs. Nelson seems to be teaching several different subjects, I’ve noticed, except for science and phys ed.

  121. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#115):
    … now I must go watch the video, and I shall have this in my head for at least a week. : )

  122. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#70): I’d love to join you. Really I would. The ICFS (International Clown Forecasting Service) shows a high chance of seltzer water showers and probability of tiny VW’s full of you-know-what’s in the DC-Northern Virginia metro at month’s end.

  123. Señor Tortilla
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @KimberlyRose (#114): And in the end, all it does it fill my theory of “Amos is sterile and possibly castrated”.

  124. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#50):
    And furthermore, why would the catcher obviously commit interference and possibly get kicked out of the game instead of the pitcher just firing a riseball at her ear? That’s even dumber than Cole Hamels admitting he deliberately threw at Bryce Harper.

  125. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Watch out, Snuffy. It doesn’t help to give up moonshining, if you’re then just going to turn around and start growing weed. If you thought you had troubles because you’re tired of hiding your still from the revenooers, just wait until Mark Trail leaves you for dead in the middle of the woods, tied to a tree.

  126. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#70):
    Those of us over here on the wrong coast will expect a full report and photographs.

  127. wossname
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#108): I thought it was Gid Tanner who had the Skillet-Lickers. But basically, good point.

  128. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Why isn’t Ms. Eifel contacting Workman’s Comp? Without question, her right index finger was injured at work, unlike the other index finger she sprained inside TJ’s, TJ’s,…no I can’t continue. Stop this comment at “work.”

    You’re a plugger if you’re only being kept alive by hundreds of thousands of other people’s tax dollars going to pharmaceutical and medical supply companies all over the world.

    Kudos to Pooch Cafe for pulling that storyline out of the toilet.

  129. Dood
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: In the court ruling U.S. vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to incarceration for shooting a fellow fishing-camp owner is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It’s an obscure ruling, but a very important one.

  130. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#99): There’s a million of them. “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina & the Waves, for instance.

  131. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#127):
    You’re right. Brain cramp. I conflated Uncle Dave’s huge hit “Keep My Skillet Good and Greasy” with the name of a band.

  132. Tetra D'Toxin
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#128): In the Luannbrane, there was no New Deal establishing basic workplace protections — rather, they had a New Spiel that established that the authorial voice can arbitrarily and whimsically override niggling little annoyances like realism, in-universe consistency, common sense, or basic human decency so that no matter how poorly behaved or how justly called to account, the protagonists will be always portrayed as the victims of a gross injustice on par with Jim Crow.

  133. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: You have to admit, this is by far the GREATEST MARY WORTH EVER. I’m going to have to give up reading this strip at this point, because it could not possibly get any better. I want the last image of Mary Worth in my mind to be that self-congratulatory, smug, yet wistful smile. She’s happily snipping roses while the rolling hills where Charterstone used to be flow over her shoulder in the setting sun. Ahh!

    Aaahhhh…

    AAAAGGGHHHH!

  134. The Ridger
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: He deserves this for being too stupid to say “When Atticus said”. Sheesh.

  135. Chip
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    So it seems in their zeal to portray Mark’s friend as a NON-bad guy, they’ve shaved his facial hair all the way up to the back of his head!

  136. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    MT: You know, the last time Mark had an old friend visit the strip, the friend faked his own death for the insurance money and had to get punched.

  137. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#127): Quite correct, although the Skillet Lickers are probably more commonly associated with their guitarist Riley Puckett than with their founder and fiddler Gid Tanner. Banjo-picker and comic Uncle Dave Macon toured in medicine shows with his son Dorris on guitar. All those old-time string band folks regarded Bill Monroe’s bluegrass as some wild new kids’ music, just as his fans in turn would eventually regard Hank Williams, whose fans in turn would feel the same way about Elvis Presley. I never thought of any of them as Reggae fans, but then if they were on tour and snuck out behind the barn for a puff of loco weed along with a swig from their jug, it really wouldn’t be all that much out of character.

  138. UncleJeff
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy mon: Are the Lasswell heirs trying to turn the old hillbilly into a modern day Mr. Natural?

  139. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    MW What? That’s it? Yesterday, Mary was toasting the vapid happy couple, and today she is back in Charterstone without further meddling? I can’t believe that she didn’t accompany them on the honeymoon to offer some marital instruction. Not that I’m complaining!

    FW “I’m through talking about this.”
    Up to this point, I wasn’t aware that Principal Nate had said much of anything. But he’s putting on his jacket – that sends a powerful message!

  140. StoutHearted
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I. for one, am eagerly looking forward to the recycled Mark Trail plotline where the baby deer gets kicked in the butt by a senator in front of his cowering wife and daughter.

  141. Calico
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#130):
    Aaaaaah, I love that song!
    I think part of OK Go’s “This too shall pass” (studio version) has a little riff that is a cousin of “Sunshine.”

  142. Dale
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail, kiss Gene on the mouth and slip him a jail cell key.

    Everybody knows that breaking out of jail (and anything related) is not a crime after you prove your innocence by tracking down the real criminal.

  143. Comcis Fan
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy’s afeer’d his youngun’ will grow up to be a couch ‘tater.

  144. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @StoutHearted (#140): I, for one, am eagerly looking forward to the recycled Mark Trail plotline where the baby deer gets kicked in the butt by a senator in front of his cowering wife and daughter.

    This year’s election campaign is just getting underway. It’s bound to show up in a campaign commercial soon. “I’m Mark Trail and I approve this message.”

  145. Government Cheese
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Ok so I think I’m getting a visual of this month’s plot line. Ann sues Toni, it goes to court and TJ turns out to be a lawyer who will defend Toni. In the end it all ends with a three-way between Ann, Toni and TJ. Oh, and Brad has to watch.

    MW: Is it just me, or does anyone else have the sound effect of “num num num num slurp num num” when looking at Bobby and Gina make out? And Mary, who the hell are you talking to in the second panel?

  146. LP2004
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#142): This is Mark Trail we’re talking about here. He and Gene could punch out all of the cops, blow up the jail, and destroy five police cars and at the end of the story the police chief would be apologizing to them for the inconvenience.

  147. Shrug
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#124):

    If you found yourself on a sports team in GIL THORPE, wouldn’t you take every opportunity available to you to be kicked out of the game? The fine you might have to pay is nothing compared to the further humiliation you would avoid.

  148. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (yesterday#154):
    “…. it was their punishment to any man who witnessed their evil doings.”
    Initially, I mis-read that last word and laughed out loud.

    @debussy fields (yesterday#153):
    “MT–That’s your “best fishing buddy”? What about Rusty? Mark, you’re an asshole.
    There’s still a very good chance that he’s an a-hole android.
    @Hogenmogen (#39):
    Hilarious because it is true. It’s my opinion Slylock really only pays attention to how he’s dressed and misses the details of life around him. It is actually Icky Mouse who solves the “mysteries” and solve the “riddles”.
    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#65):
    Come on, you know he probably isn’t just holding it. He’s probably baiting it. @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#119):
    I know of that one and have not seen that.

  149. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    ^what the…? Preeee-Vuuuueee! What is your problem?

  150. Shrug
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#119):

    “Seth tried and tried, but Edda just wouldn’t let go, so he carried her to the doctor.”

    If only he hadn’t picked up her up to carry her there on a Saturday. Their doctor has weekends off, so he was not able to put her down until Monday morning.

    We, on the other hand, tend to put Edda down several times a day, every chance we get.

  151. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: Gene is—what exactly? Trying to give Mark a noogie? It always looks unnatural when anyone tries to make contact with Mark’s person. Not here as much as with Cherry, though.

    SSmith: If Snuffy becomes an icon to stoners and rasta wannabes everywhere, if his hillbilly mug is silkscreened on t-shirts with a pot leaf and the words “Snuffy sez legalize it,” well, you heard it here first. And nowhere else, probably.

    Ziggy: The biggest blooper of all is, of course, not knowing that stages don’t have blooper reels. I’m going to pretend not to know whether this is meta-awareness or abject laziness.

    Crock: Presumably Crock has Figowitz following Poulet around with a scooper.

    BC: It’s an ant pyramid, so that the ant-pharaohs can be buried with their golf clubs and plasma TVs.

    BSt: I’m relieved to see the outboard motor on the desk, because I was starting to think that “start the old Evinrude” was a euphemism.

    JP: Translation: Gloria will give it a once-over, then rewrite the proposal so it will look like it was conceived by someone with opposable thumbs.

    GA: Karl Rove seems to believe that his party’s fortunes depend on an ethically conflicted kitten. Stranger things have happened, I suppose.

    H&L: As Hi turns away from his wife and starts doing the robot, I’m assuming “If I can’t believe it, I’d rather not hear it,” is a Gary Numan quote.

    DT: “Yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, my crimefighting éclat is such that it may actually be contagious.”

    GT: While no punches get thrown, Bobby does choose a rather disturbing method of getting Darby’s attention. For some reason he’s holding an issue of Time magazine as well.

    PBS: Proof that there is such a thing as a funny comic strip about golf. Or at least golf carts.

    Luann: I dunno. I guess Toni’s million dollar nerve damage lawsuit against Toni is probably a scam. Still, if you see someone get bit, shouldn’t you at least pretend to give a about it, at some point?

    Momma: This is fanservice I never asked for.

    Marvin: Polling suggests that other babies actually like Marvin. I suggest getting a new polling firm.

  152. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#103): Now that we’re seeing how the justice system works in the Trailiverse, I’m hoping the next story will take us to a hospital.

  153. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#130):
    “Walk Like an Egyptian”
    That Walk Like a Man song, too.

    Let’s face it, Tate is most likely only going to be inspired by walking music in the form of a song which facilitates the “Funky Chicken” dance. And, that is only because the most active critters, including man, he is around are chickens, especially headless ones; the ones who actually run like chickens.

    Eventually, Tater will go from walking behind chickens to running after them. Like a Modern Day, Throwback Edition of Literary Figure Forest Gump, Tater will run and run, and unlike Gump, he will continue to run and run afoul of the law.

  154. CanuckDownSouth
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#134): Yup. Plus movie versions often don’t follow the text, and he ought to have to learn _that_ lesson.

    In high school, we sometimes studied the novel, and then wrapped it up with an at-school movie viewing. We had to examine the differences in emphasis or how some things had been changed. TKAM had characters disappear / get merged in the movie version.

  155. CanuckDownSouth
    May 14th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#152): Maybe we can get a reprise of the “puppies = medicine” story, but this time with a box o’ kittens as in Scrubs!

  156. Gringo
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#119): there are copious amounts of something normally absent from the movie I’ve seen: common sense

    And good, sensible advice:

    ” … by removing the head or destroying the brain. I’ll repeat that …”

  157. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smiff
    While I ponder the significance of the K and R blocks, it is nice to see Snuffy get his groove on.
    Let us hope he is grooming Young Tater to become a Latter Day Linus Van Pelt.
    Someday the strip will show an older Tater waiting for The Great Pot Leaf.

    Someday….

    Wait! I got it!
    K…R…stands for King Rasta!

  158. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#139):

    MW What? That’s it? Yesterday, Mary was toasting the vapid happy couple, and today she is back in Charterstone without further meddling? I can’t believe that she didn’t accompany them on the honeymoon to offer some marital instruction. Not that I’m complaining!

    You know what we didn’t get to see? Mary making some flight attendant tearfully confess to… whatever. The specifics don’t matter, but you know it happened.

  159. Charterstoned
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MT – If Mark would pay a little more attention to his surroundings and a little less to the construction of incredibly awkward phrases, he might just notice that blue body bag on the top bunk.

  160. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    9CL — For crying out loud, Edda, you’ve had what seems like weeks to get used to the idea that you might be pregnant, not to mention numerous conversations with members of your idiot family who assumed you definitely were enciente. Why are you so depressed NOW? If you’re going to be dramatically down in the dumps, wait for a medical procedure that deserves the performance just a little more, like a colonoscopy.

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#106): So you’re saying the strip is all camp? I agree.

    The blind hunting dog sticken in a big mud hole
    Doo-dah! doo-dah!
    Rusty can’t touch bottom with his old cane pole
    Oh! de doo-dah day!

    Mark’s a writer who works for a dead-tree rag
    Doo-dah! doo-dah!
    Cherry can’t tell his nads from an old tea bag
    Oh! de doo-dah day!

    Goin’ to run all night
    Goin’ to run all day
    I bet my money on a bob-tailed nag
    Somebody bet on the gray

  162. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#120): To Kill a Mockingbird is an example of a movie that really went hand-in-hand with the book. The casting was a really good fit, and the necessary abridgement left the important parts intact. A miniseries could work, but why try to replace Gregory Peck? Maybe Sam Waterson would have been good in the part, but he’s a bit old now for how Atticus is described in the book.

    The original Night of the Hunter is an incredible adaptation. Languid, dreamy, hypnotic, suspenseful — at times it feels like a silent movie that happens to have somehow captured sound. I have to name-drop Kelly Freas again, because he and I talked about the book when I saw it in the ones I was boxing up. He also had a bunch of Dashiell Hammett stories that weren’t in any collection I’d seen up to then, which I tried desperately to read as I worked. When it was all over, he gave me a second copy of Night of the Hunter, and I’ve read it a few times since then. The movie is perhaps the most literal translation from text to screen that I can think of.

    @Hogenmogen (#130): A few years back there was an ad I enjoyed greatly, showing a mother trying to catch a toddler — to the tune of “I’m Walkin’ / Yes indeed, / I’m walkin’…”

    @The Ridger (#134): Well, yeah, but it was a joke. Like when Charlton Heston was on SNL doing a movie parody called “THE PRESIDENT IS ILLITERATE.” It was funny then, and I actually think it was kind of funny this time as well.

    My experience along those lines was in seventh grade, when I wrote a book report on The Light in the Forest, and determined, via oblique questioning, that my teacher did not regard a Reader’s Digest Condensed Book to be equivalent to reading the actual book. For some reason, I got away with it that time, but I never again took that easy way out.

    @tallyHO (#148): I watch it, any chance I get, even on commercial TV.

    @Shrug (#150): You all should have seen the great comment I wrote on Chickweed Lane. It was really, really similar to Seismic-2′s, only it was written by me.

    @Gringo (#156): Yes. And also, if one of the good guys finds a useful weapon at hand, they don’t just use it once and drop it on the ground.

  163. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#147):
    If I were on a (Death To) Gil Thorp sports team I’d be in black and white and incapable of irony.

    The Thorp creative team usually does pretty well with sports cliches. I’m surprised they went with the unheard-of catcher’s interference instead of the time-honored high hard one. And @KreatureFeatures (#50) is right; that kind of thing just doesn’t happen in girls’ softball.

  164. Chip Whittle
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#151):

    BSt: I’m relieved to see the outboard motor on the desk, because I was starting to think that “start the old Evinrude” was a euphemism.

    I like to think Ballard Street is created entirely so as to trick people into trying to talk about what’s going on in the strip, because to people who don’t know what Ballard Street is, a description like yours reads as the ramblings of the insane. And I like the spirit of a cartoonist who’s just trying to capture readers’ imaginations enough that they have to talk about what they saw, but don’t dare lest someone hear them.

  165. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Yeah, Mark, this jail life ain’t half bad, that is since Barney released Otis, to go home this morning! …SPEAKING of having a release, Mark, can we continue rubbing our paws all over each other like this for a while longer, PLEASE?!”

    “ONLY if we invite Sherriff Jim, Otis the town drunk and your daughter, Trish, to join us, Gene!”

  166. Gringo
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#162): And also, if one of the good guys finds a useful weapon at hand, they don’t just use it once and drop it on the ground

    Like a cricket bat? At some point before the zombocalypse, Shaun must have watched This Is Spinal Tap and heard Ian’s soliloquy on the matter.

  167. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#160):

    Re: “For crying out loud, Edda, you’ve had what seems like weeks to get used to the idea that you might be pregnant, not to mention numerous conversations with members of your idiot family who assumed you definitely were enciente. Why are you so depressed NOW?”

    She is depressed because, up until now, she has reveled in the idea that she might be pregnant. The drama, the attention, the opportunity for over-the-top theatrics (for example, the flight to Vienna). Now, she is being forced to confront finding out whether she actually is pregnant. No more “getting used to the idea of possibly….”. Uncertainty is fun and makes one the center of attention. Now, she is either going to have to actually get used to the reality of being pregnant, or get used to the reality of needing another excuse to be the center of attention.

    Don’t worry Edda. Good news! You’re fired! Just think of all the visits to friends and family members you can make to wallow in self-pity ask their advice on dealing with the concept of possibly being unemployed.

  168. commodorejohn
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#167): Oh, well said.

    9CL – The tests might be conclusive, but the plot sure as hell isn’t.

    A3G – No, no, Nina! She’s not telling you how you feel, she’s telling you what to feel! It’s prescriptive, not descriptive! That’s totally much more acceptable, right?

    BBlue – Oh, and don’t forget the second degree you’ll need to get when we finally reach the point that even entry-level job candidates all have BAs and employers begin requiring doctorates for every position. Hope you enjoy having crushing debt and no life!

    C&B – Is this a thing? I was raised in semi-isolation from playground norms, so I really have no idea.

    DT – I’m not a married man, but I don’t think that it imbues each spouse with all the powers of the other. Am I wrong on this?

    FW – “That’s it! I didn’t care about this before, but now that it’s time to advance the plot I feel very strongly about it! …say, you think I should bother finding out the names of the gay couple? Nah, that’d be crazy.”

    GT – I know a lot of men with shoulders narrower than that. Did they just add girl heads and breast delineation to standard Milford-athletics templates?

    JP – And yet again, every single computer in every comic strip is a Mac. Some day I’d like to see someone on a Kaypro or something just for variety.

    Jumble – Okay, I give up. [*] You bastard.

    Luann – Good for you, hope you win, make sure Shannon gets put into the custody of someone with any idea how to raise a child before hoofing it to Tijuana, ‘kay?

    Mandrake – *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

    MT – “Why where you and this man you supposedly shot fighting?” Oh, Mark Trail, never trim a single word from any of your sentences. Just think of how terribly confused readers might become if anybody ever said anything in any but the most specific and fully-structured terms possible! You are the anti-Herb & Jamaal, and I mean the first clause of this sentence in the best possible way it can be interpreted.

    MW – “Now back to my normal routine…of manically slaughtering roses!”

    Popeye – …wait, is that a conventional joke structure? In Popeye?

    RMMD – Oh hey, turns out Kelly’s mom didn’t disappear after the end of the last storyline! (Did you realize this storyline’s been going since January 14th and we haven’t even gotten to the memorial service yet?)

    SF – So what exactly are the genetic factors involved in the heredity of salmon-colored hair?

    SFx – Harry Ape busted out of prison and fled to King’s Quest V, apparently. Watch out for POOOIIISONOUS SNAKES, Slylock!

    SM – The clapping is actually for Mary-Jane’s strapless, low-cut top. Nobody is applauding for Hardy Laurel. Where are Statler and Waldorf when you need them?

    Ziggy – Wow. I didn’t think it was possible, but Spider-Man has proved that Ziggy is not the worst actor in the world.

  169. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#167): HAR!!! Great happy ending!

  170. Peanut Gallery
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS – Sure, Bob Marley is appropriate. Li’l Tater is a Wailer.

  171. bats :[
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    At least if Mark doesn’t quite have a plan, other forces are in motion…

  172. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#166): Hm. I can’t remember that part. Clearly, I need to watch the movie again! TO THE VIDEO CAVE!!

  173. Uncle Lumpy
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail — Ha! Wait ’til Mark figures out that Gene’s rival fishing camp owner is in fact Johnny Malotte! Once Gene’s name is cleared, he and Johnny will go at it hammer and tongs for bragging rights as “Mark Trail’s best fishing buddy” — with Rusty watching from the bushes, praying for a double homicide or horrific accident.

    Reply All — Hey, we should encourage DHS employees to write horrible comics instead of plotting new ways to screw up air travel. Best case, the whole outfit could be repurposed as the Department of Horrible Strips. Bonus: cabinet-level post for Josh!

  174. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Shortly after Mark made his way to the NEAR BY TOWN of Mayberry, to bust his best fishing buddy, Gene, out of jail. The following took place)…..

    “ANDY! There’s some wise-acre outside, says he’s God’s gift to wilderness guides. Says he’s here to fetch his best fishing buddy from the slammer! Want I should run him in, Andy? Huh? Huh, Andy? Huh?”

    “Now Barrr-ney, don’t get so worked up. I’m sure there’s a simple explaination for all of this.”

    “And, get this! If THAT don’t beat all, he also said he needs us to release this guy so’s they can GO FISHING!”

    “Well, DON’T just dilly-dally around pacing the floor like that, Barney. Grab the key off the nail and release that man after you Grab our fishing poles so’s we-un’s can JOIN those nice fellows up at Meyer’s lake. Maybe they’ll let us take Thelma Lou and Helen along too and we can all have a picnic!”

    “Darn-it, Andy. That just about takes the CAKE! You’d let a murderous scum like, Gene, go free just so’s we’d have some more fishing buddys? Don’t THAT beat all!”

    “Your right, Barney, call Thelma Lou back and tell her not to forget to bring a CAKE for the picnic! …and, put that bullet back in your pocket so’s you dont hurt no one, Barn!”

  175. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#22): “Walkin’ After Midnight” by Patsy Cline. (How could Snuffy NOT be a Patsy fan?)

  176. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#168): Where are Statler and Waldorf when you need them?

    Statler and Waldorf already spoke: “The Broadway debut of Hardy Laurel — Brooklyn’s Next Comedy Sensation — deserves a Bronx cheer!”

  177. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#175): Or “Walking the Floor Over You” by Justin Tubb, if ol’ Snuffy is a bit more of a Tonky-Tonk man.

  178. bats :[
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#167): yep. I’m hoping the non-pregnancy is true, so that Edda can fully reveal herself as the flaky artiste she is. Waiting table might do her good. In a really crappy diner (obviously not one suited to Her Station in life).

  179. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#177): Make that “Honk-Tonk”. Geez. And I even hit “Preview”. I need Gloria Sanchez to give my posts another set of eyes. Yes, “eyes”.

  180. This Guy
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: Hey, I’ve been to that zoo. I don’t really have a joke here.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#173): Holy shit, that garbage is still in syndication? (I was going to specify that I was talking about Reply All until I realized it was applicable to both of those strips.)

  181. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    I’m a little worried. Ruthie got hair-raisingly scared at seeing James in his undershorts. Will she be listening to the Indigo Girls next? Then again, it is James. He may have a dragon tattoo surrounding his navel.

  182. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#178): Where she might even wait on none other than Mary Worth!

  183. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I’m so glad to be home. I shudder to think about people solving their problems without my guidance.”

  184. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    MT-By the way old friend, did you bring any cigarettes or a file with you?

  185. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#178): @bats :[ (#178):

    She could adopt a ponytail and end up waiting on Seth and the rest of the ballet company! For extra dramatic resonance, they could fail to recognize her with the new ‘do, and mock her as Not Artistic. Later, bitter and somewhat drunk, she agrees to marry a minor-league soccer player, abandoning forever all pretense of artistic sensibility for a lifetime of beer blasts and soccer riots.

  186. UncleJeff
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#157): Ya know, if we keep this up….some stoner’s gonna go viral on Snuffy and we’ll have a 4/20 meme in the making!

  187. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Dustin-I chuckled at this today. The joke is even funnier since the main character is named Dustin and Dustin Hoffman was in “The Graduate”.

  188. endless sky
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#177): I believe this country classic was a hit for Justin’s dad, Ernest Tubb, AKA the Texas Troubadour.

  189. Mysterious shirtless lawyer
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    “Mark, old buddy! Damn, you’re looking good, baby cakes! How’s that purty little mouth of yours? They’ve had me packed away in this ole jail for a coon’s age!

  190. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#188): Yes, it certainly was. I not only need a new set of eyes, I need a new brain to go with them. This one is worn out. Thanks for the catch, since I never would have noticed it.

  191. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#163) said: “The Thorp creative team usually does pretty well with sports cliches. I’m surprised they went with the unheard-of catcher’s interference instead of the time-honored high hard one.”

    That’s because ever since she got pregnant, Darby has sworn off high hard ones.

  192. Gringo
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#172): I will save you the trouble. It’s when Marty DeBergi asks Ian about his ever-present cricket bat:

    “It’s a kind of totemestic thing, you know, but to be quite frank with you, it’s come in useful in a couple of situations. Certainly in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is quite often … useful.”

  193. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#192):

    Cut away to Ian throwing a tantrum and using the bat to clear off the contents of a producer’s desk….

  194. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#178): Only if there are promises of Rainbow Swirl ice cream. She still gets to be a frozen dessert tease.

  195. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#192): Thankee! I wouldn’t say that watching SPINAL TAP again was ‘trouble,’ but I appreciate the help anyway.

  196. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I told you dear we should have gotten tickets to “Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark. It would have been less painful to sit through than this.”

  197. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#196): Everyone might as well walk out anyway, since there’s a much better drama going on outside. Some old hack novelist is trying to publicize a book tour by falling off the theater’s roof.

  198. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: After viewing today’s Snuff’ I think I’ll just Walk On By.

  199. Steve Potter
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    What? How could anyone accuse Gene of murder? Do they not see his clean shaven face? Are they not aware of the lack of beard or sideburn? Either Gene has been wrongfully accused by the REAL killer (no doubt some mustachioed fiend like Mr. Monopoly or Santa Clause) or this is a case of justifiable homicide, with Gene defending himself from a man with facial hair that exceeds the legal limit imposed onto the people of the Trailverse.

  200. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#164): You make it sound like Jerry van Amerongen is Abdul Alhazred, launching a one-panel Necronomicon six times a week. That’s the best explanation I’ve heard yet.

  201. commodorejohn
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#164), @Artist formerly known as Ben (#200): I do believe you’ve cracked the code.

  202. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#175): “I Walk the Line” by J Cash.

    You know, almost all of these suggestions use the words “stand” or “walk” in a literal way. Marley’s “Get Up, Stand Up” is figuratively standing up for your rights, which is why the comic can only show the four words in the title. You’d think that with a little musical knowledge and ten seconds of thought, a better choice could have been made.

  203. Marc
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#178): Waiting tables is a crappy diner where she will be meddled by an old hag with nothing better to do. We all know how much Edda loves attention, but let’s see how she likes all the attention that she’d get from Mary Worth.

  204. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    H&L: It’s not Lois’s expression that makes the strip for me. It’s Hi’s look of morose despair as he gives up on the crazy things that this dangerous world presents. “Oh, honey, don’t mind me,” he sobbed. “I’m going down to the basement with my massive credit card bills, a bottle of cheap whiskey and a loaded shotgun.”

  205. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#202):

    “Walk Hard”, from the Jon C.Reilly parody of the same name, could also be a candidate. The “brother killed in a machete fight” plot line would fit right in.

    I assume the author heard the refrain to “Get up, stand up” , and made it into a comic strip without ever realizing the theological and political implications.

    Some people think great God will come from the sky
    Take away everything, and make everybody feel high
    But if you know what life is worth
    You will look for yours on earth
    Now you see the light
    You gotta stan’ up for your right

    Preach, brother, preach!

  206. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#202):
    Yeah, but, it is said that he is “trying to inspire Tater to walk”.

    So playing off of walk is more appropriate, right?

    Protest songs of other genres could be used, that’s for sure. But, for this particular song, it works just fine.

    I’m not going to look it up because searching takes me forever. If memory serves, Ziggy Marley (The Cool Ziggy) did release an album of children’s songs, or was doing some songs aimed at kids TV shows. Given that there is a market for “Radio Disney” radio, it could be such a simple explanation that there is a version of the Bob Marley song geared towards kids. It isn’t beyond the realm of possibility.

    However, just the time it took to type this….ya know…

  207. Droopy Says
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    FW Where was Principal Unprincipled when the demonstrators were demonstrating? Why didn’t he got out there and say something like “Yes, I’ll spinelessly cave in” or “You’ll have to take it up with the Bored of Edumbkashun” or “The school district policy is to allow gay couples at the prom, so take it up with them, and quit disrupting the school or I’ll call the cops” or even “You care about this school? Where were you when that bond issue failed last year?”

    The A-Snoozing Spiderman: What, Peter Passive, not even one good Jameson-style heckle? How the mighty have fallen! pathetic have sunk deeper into the couch! (How did Hardly-Har-Har get this role, anyway? Did the Big Boss hire him to humiliate Spiderman, then forget to send him a note about her failure and arrest? Or are Lieber and Lee just having a snit over some bit of casting in the next Spiderman movie?)

    Mock Trail: “And I must get out now, Trail! The lake will be overpopulated with trout now that my rival is feeding the fishes!”

  208. Hyhybt
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Hi understands Lois better than Josh does. He knows that “You won’t believe what Laura just told me” translates to “I just heard some juicy gossip,” and wants nothing to do with it.

  209. Hogenmogen
    May 14th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    MW: Tomorrow, Gina will undoubtedly give Mary a call.

    Gina: Mary, now that I’m married, I need your advice on having children!

    Mary: Motherhood is a great and noble tradition. Having a child takes a woman from one place in life to another. It completes the circle of life. Motherhood is all about sharing and caring and sacrificing!

    Gina: Yeah, uh,.. ok. Right now I really just need to know how to make babies.

  210. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#180): The Sunday Boston Globe has replaced Reply All with Thatababy, so it’s not in quite as much syndication as it was before.

  211. bats :[
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#203): Mary Worth…sort of a female (sort of) Thorax.

  212. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#205): @UncleJeff (#186):

    Well, there you go. I’ve only successfully contributed to one meme at best, but, I could see Tater… the Rasta Toddler, he…. being a meme.

    One quick thing I could think of is incorporating Tater and Snuffy into Occupy Wall Street protests.
    Placards would be one way.
    The easier, meme-friendly method is someone incorporating one or both characters, with dreadlocks, holding funny signs, in actual photos or videos that are put online. It could be OWS photos or just anything, really.

    But, again, time. time. where did it go?

    If there is one thing I agree with Garfield the CatThing is that…okay, two things:

    Lasagna is good and Mondays suck Garfield balls.

  213. Frank Lee Meidere
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Dustin I imagine the conversation with his new employer going something like this:

    “So, Dustin, judging by the fact that your clothes are neatly washed and pressed, but your fingernails are dirty, you must live at home where your mother does your laundry.”

    “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to deduce me, aren’t you?”

  214. bats :[
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#210): YAY! A real cartoonist…a real comic strip! Good news!

  215. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212):
    Example one: literally convince people to make Snuffy signs
    Example two: virtually, photoshoppily add Snuffy and Tater into things.

    The key is Reggae and “K” and “R”………Or somet’in’, mon.

  216. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    MW: “What a wedding! What a couple! What a physically impossible kiss!”

  217. Rene
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#198): After viewing today’s Snuff’ I think I’ll just Walk On By.

    I’ll just walk away.

  218. Frank Lee Meidere
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Now if he were dealing with a more modern movie, in which Curtis was more familiar with the actors than the characters, a this might be believable (“The part I liked is when Megan Fox said…”). In an old movie like To Kill a Mockingbird, however, Curtis would only know the name used in the movie, and have no idea who Gregory Peck was — unless he had an anomalous interest in old movie stars, or engaged in the equally anomalous practice of studying the movie credits.

  219. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#202): …by J Cash.

    Someone in one of my newsgroups mentioned that he was stationed in Germany in the war, listening to transmissions from the Soviets. And I heard his voice:

    I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
    I keep a watch on Russkies on the Rhine.
    I mind the dots and dashes that go flyin’.
    When I’m at Mainz.
    I watch the lines.

  220. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rene (#217): Ha! Good one “Rene.”

  221. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

  222. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#188): I believe this country classic was a hit for Justin’s dad, Ernest Tubb, AKA the Texas Troubadour.

    From there it’s only a short stroll to Walker, Texas Ranger.
    (Theme song: “Eyes of a Ranger”!)

  223. John B
    May 14th, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    MT: Let’s hope that Rusty doesn’t find out that he isn’t Mark’s best fishing buddy…oh wait, for them to be fishing buddies, Mark would have had to actually fish with Rusty!

  224. Illustrator Steve
    May 14th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#198) SS: “These feet are made for walking.” That’s just what they’ll do. One of these days that kid’s feet are gonna, walk – all – over – you!
    (circa 1965 Nabcy Snot-tra)

  225. commodorejohn
    May 14th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#215): I’m confused, what do Kernighan and Richie have to do with walking? Is it something to do with traversing linked lists?

  226. Mike Lukash
    May 14th, 2012 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    9CL: The test are conclusive…you have Cancer! The ghost of Lisa will haunt you forever!

  227. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

  228. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    MT-I can’t let my best fishing buddy stay in jail because if he is going to be someone’s bitch he is going to be my bitch.

  229. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#155): I never saw that episode, but I’ll take a good box ‘o kittens story anytime!

  230. Dennis
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: Are you kidding? MJ getting slapped with a fish was hysterical. It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong but I gotta admit this Laurel Hardy fella is one of the funniest characters in any strip in a long time. Those snooty opera nerds just don’t know what’s good.

  231. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#177):
    Justin Tubb??? What about Ernest Tubb?

  232. gnome de blog
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#191):
    Somebody had to go there.

  233. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    9CL-You are really a man.

    9CL 2-Your life is being dictated by a sad strange man with a smug superiority complex and a lot of unusual fetishes which he uses you to demonstrate. This man is unable to write your life coherently which is why when you think you have made a joke other people will stand around and wonder what you just said. I’m sorry but there is no cure for this.

  234. cholling
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    This is just the beginning of Snuffy’s obsession with rasta culture that will end with him growing “mary-wanee” on the Federal land down in the holler until the revenooers come across it. Which will of course inevitably lead to that Mark Trail-Snuffy Smith crossover we’ve all been dreaming of.

  235. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#218): In an old movie like To Kill a Mockingbird, however, Curtis would only know the name used in the movie, and have no idea who Gregory Peck was — unless he had an anomalous interest in old movie stars, or engaged in the equally anomalous practice of studying the movie credits.

    Curtis was named after olde time movie star Tony Curtis. Not surprisingly, he DOES have an anomalous interest in old movies and old movie stars. His favorite Tony Curtis vehicle: Some Like It Hot. (Which is why Curtis was positively giddy at the prospect of his barber being a cross-dresser!)

  236. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#231): Forget Justin and Ernest — what about Wash Tubbs and Captain Easy?

  237. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#158): You know what we didn’t get to see? Mary making some flight attendant tearfully confess to… whatever. The specifics don’t matter, but you know it happened.

    Underwear bomber. He has a career in sales now.

  238. The Real Dan
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    “Send it to print?” WTF! Do these comic writes live in caves or something? Are they English as a third language students?! GAH!

    Once again I curse you all for making me read these comics every day. ;-)

  239. Poteet
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    MT — If Mark can just stroll into a jail cell and get an accused murderer off the hook, what else could he do?

    “Mark, the doctors say it’s stage four pancreatic cancer and I’m toast! But I know you can cure me! Thanks for caring, old friend!” “We’ll figure this out, Matt!”

    “Mark, the police say it was a classic Ponzi scheme and our life savings are gone! But I know you can get the money back! Thanks for caring, old friend!” “We’ll figure this out, Luke!”

    “Mark, she wants a baby so badly, and my little guys just can’t swim fast enough! But I know you can make her baby dreams come true! Thanks for caring, old friend!” “We’ll…FORGET IT, John!”

  240. Liam
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-What is Snuffy’s usual music? “Dueling Banjos”?

    Spiderman-Wait until the hippie they got to play Hitler shows up in the second act you will change your mind about “Springtime for Hitler” then.

  241. Fashion Police
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#93):
    In out view, Miss Thompson’s white-shirt-and-cardigan look rivals Mrs. Gaine$’ for the dictionary illustration of “perfectly horrid.” One wonders if Mr. Bolle is locked away in a room somewhere, with only his daughter’s high school yearbook, circa 1962, as a reference work.

    We confess to a fondness for frilly collars, Whether they are out of fashion or not they can be most attractive when done properly. Miss Gloria Sanchez, for example, would look absolutely endearing in one.

  242. Mr. O'Malley
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    If Snuffy wanted reggae music with banjos, he should have played John Hartford’s “Two Hits and the Joint Turned Brown”.

  243. Mcbain
    May 14th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Finally, the play is over. That was an ordeal!

  244. ElkMeadow
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46):

    I can see why circumstances might make going to a doctor a preferable option–a teenager who doesn’t want to risk sneaking a home test past her parents, for example.

    Just buy one at the Dollar Tree and use it at school.

  245. ElkMeadow
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46):

    Actually, the preference of the doctor is having the doctor tell the parents, instead of the girl.

  246. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y118), @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2):

    HAPPY 88th BIRTHDAY, BRAD ANDERSON!!!

    http://www.29-95.com/files/imagecache/InlineStory/354511.full_.gif

    Since no one else has seconded the emotion, I guess I have to post this
    86 more times

  247. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#232) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#191):
    Somebody had to go there.”

    I know. “Going there” is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

  248. tallyHO
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#246):
    I’ll second it. It just took me hours to become fully aware that this is not just another Monday. It is not just May Fourteenth. It isn’t just another Anno Domimino Pizza! It is the 88th Birthday of one Marmadukian Dude! The King of King-sized Canines.=! The man who is so discreet he doesn’t beat it over his readers’ heads the size of the dogs daily poops…

    Whathisnameagain?

    Oh, yeah.
    Happy Birthday, Brad Anderson. Hope you are having a Great Dane! (day. enh. i know)

  249. seismic-2
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#225): In this case, maybe “C” stands for cannabis? Perhaps next week we shall see Elviney and Lukey go down to the general store and ask Silas for some rolling papers and a bag of Hootin’ Holler Green.

  250. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#247): It is the 88th Birthday of one Marmadukian Dude!
    Or as we call him, “Marmadude.”

  251. Señor Tortilla
    May 14th, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#145): It might explain TJ’s infinite supply of money.

  252. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#241): She does give off that Our Miss Brooks look but without Eve Arden’s vivacity.

  253. kkarenb
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @StoutHearted (#140): I second that! That is my all-time favorite Mark Trail.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#162): How in the world did Reader’s Digest condense “The Light in the Forest?” The paperback copy I have is only 117 pages, and the copyright page says that it is the full text of the original.

    When I was in school back in the stone age, Classics Illustrated Comics were available. I never used them myself to fake a book report, but I can remember one incident with a kid in my class basing a book report on one.

    @Liam (#187): It made me feel very, very old. Almost as old as I felt the last time I watched that movie.

  254. Hyhybt
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#211): Thorax?

  255. Trillian
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    How long has Mark Trail been composed of previously published clip art? Sounds like Jackelrod is rehashing some fairly recent stories. Is this a rehash of a rehash? (Or a rehash of a rehash of a rehash?)

  256. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#253): They probably condensed it into 65 pages. Reader’s Digest had its ways. Classics Illustrated — I was just saying yesterday that their adaptation of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is the only version of anything based on the book that did justice to it (with great art by EC veteran George Evans), ever. And justice they did, in spades. Because of that, I’ve read the original four times (if not more — hard to keep track).

  257. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#123): Or that the “hand fucking” was literal, and not a visual euphemism.

  258. Beetle Bumstead
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Gene shot a man in Reno.
    Just to watch him die.

  259. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#160): I’m guessing that the test is tests are negative, and she’s depressed now she has to go back to all and sundry and explain that she riled everyone up and put her job in jeopardy because she was too dim to pee on a stick first.

    Now, if she’d stirred everyone up with a faked pregnancy in order to create drama, that would be one thing. If the resulting drama was intentional, then that’d be okay, because we know the Burbers and their sycophants adore Drama Queening. But since this is unintentional drama due to cluelessness, Edda deserves instead Seth’s glare of scorn, followed by equally stern glares from the rest of the “cast.”

  260. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#167): Or what you already said.

    Yeesh, it’s been one of those days.

  261. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#252): TCM ran Stage Door earlier this evening — one of the Lady Eve’s earlier performances.

  262. Ukulele Ike
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Congratulations! You AREN’T pregnant. But you HAVE lost your job! You and Amos need to slink back up to rural New Hampshire now to seek high-paying employment as a ballerina and a cellist!

  263. Señor Tortilla
    May 14th, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn. It makes NO SENSE. I could read through a week’s worth of material, and it makes NO SENSE (June 2009, in particular) WHATSOEVER. It does use the freaky teeth, but what I’d like to know is what stuff McEldowney is smoking with Pibgorn.

  264. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#261): “…one of the Lady Eve’s BETTER performances.” (Although it is one of her earlier performances!)

    @Señor Tortilla (#263): Brooke wanted to call his other strip 9 Ditchweed Lane, but the uptight wusses at his syndicate nixed the idea.

  265. Frank Lee Meidere
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#235): If that’s true, then I give him a pass.

  266. Red Greenback
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Hi can’t believe that… Laura’s dad’s not a killer.

  267. Sgt. Stoned
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    MT: It is obvious that Gene is innocent; his hair is so short that he’s bald.

    MW: And Mary is obviously fantasizing about emasculating Dr. Jeff with those rose clippers. The smile is a dead giveaway. Yep, it’s back to the “normal routine”.

  268. This Guy
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#263): <i<…but what I’d like to know is what stuff McEldowney is smoking with Pibgorn.

    I’m guessing his own dick.

  269. commodorejohn
    May 14th, 2012 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#263): You know, it strikes me that if Brooke were a humble recluse and not an overweening, loudly self-proclamatory Greatest Genius In The World, Pibgorn would likely be an acclaimed piece of outsider art on par with paintings by schizophrenics. Oh the irony…

  270. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    May 15th, 2012 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    MT: “I hit him…with my first shot.”

    Pibgorn: Wasn’t Mozart in this plot?

  271. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2012 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    All this talk about the music in Snuffy Smith. Everyone’s missing the horror that’s the theme song for Mary Worth: the Gloria Gaynor favorite, I Will Survive.

  272. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2012 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#271): I forgot to add, Mary Worth shares the same theme song with cockroaches.

  273. Calico
    May 15th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#153):
    Or afowl of the law, perhaps? ; )
    Tips, etc.

  274. Droopy Says
    May 15th, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    The A-snoozing Spiderman: Congratulations, Peter Passive, your wife thinks the villain is even more pathetic than you are.

    For Better Of For Wankerbeat: So far I see two same-sex couples here, and neither are the boys in question. And what happened to that walkout? The spirit of revolution is so dead among the Scapegoats that they’ll barely groan when the principal completes his harangue with “–now go take your science quiz, all of you!”

    Mock Trail: Why does Johnson keep talking about the dead man in the present tense? Isn’t it a bit late for that? I’m sure Chavez is past caring.

  275. Comcis Fan
    May 15th, 2012 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    MW: Can’t tell if Wilbur has received bad news in an e-mail or his pre-colonoscopy diuretic has kicked in. There must be something wrong with me, though. My heart fluttered at the prospect of the upcoming Wilbur Weston storyline. (I hope nothing terrible has happened to Kurt.)

  276. Dale
    May 15th, 2012 at 3:07 am [Reply]

    MT –

    They didn’t have an external view of a small town jail.
    It was this or Colditz Castle.

  277. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 15th, 2012 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#275): Better keep some nitroglycerin pills handy. Because when Wilbur discovers his “son” is heir to the Hellmann’s Mayonnaise fortune, he asks Kurt to adopt him!

  278. Mr. O'Malley
    May 15th, 2012 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#276): Oh, I thought that was the biggest fishing camp on the lake.

    It looks slightly bigger than Alcatraz — which might make a good fishing camp.

  279. Dale
    May 15th, 2012 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#278):

    Does the bay really have sharks? Other kinds of fish?

    Here’s a business plan: Put some of the cannons back. People could shoot at passing whales and dolphins.
    Surely that would make a good story.

  280. Mr. O'Malley
    May 15th, 2012 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#279): I think that shooting at whales would not go over any more. I’ve seen dolphins in the bay but the only shooting was with digital cameras.

    There are fish in the bay. At least there is a salmon run, although the numbers can be worrisome. And the sea lions don’t seem to be starving.

    The commercial fishermen mostly work out in the open ocean these days. There are plenty of sharks out there but I don’t think they show up in the bay that much. The water in the bay is less salty than the ocean, I think it doesn’t appeal to sharks.

  281. gleeb
    May 15th, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    3G: You can’t quit; you’ve been fired. Repeatedly. Over several days.

    Arlo: Hmmm, is Johnson slipping in a plot on us? Will Mary Lou turn out to be someone who just wants a worker to lick around?

    Dick: That fin! They have killer mermaids, and they feed them of chunks of raw pumpkin!

    ‘bean: Lazy stupid Owen the Idiot is happy to get out of class. He’ll probably spend the time sending double-secret imaginary anonymous texts. Wonder if the faceless duo will show up. Pfff, nah, they’ve served Batiuk’s purpose. He can stick to his regular cast of smirking jackasses.

    Steve the Seal, Attorney-at-Law!: “Now get out of my office. I have real lawyering to do.”

    Spidey: Mary Jane is awfully calm about something that will close the show and put her out of work.

  282. gleeb
    May 15th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#281): Obviously, I meant “kick around”, but that might be an interesting plot too.

  283. smacky
    May 15th, 2012 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    MW: Meanwhile, very different sentiments are expressed in the Weston apartment, as a hungover woman wakes and discovers to her horror that she spent a drunken night of passion with Wilbur.

  284. Little Guy
    May 15th, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    9CL: The strip’s been canceled?

    JP: nb:dr (No boobiage, did not read).

    Luann: That evil EVIL woman! And her lawyer probably has a flat-chested secretary and flat-chested plain wife.

  285. BKBaroo
    May 15th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Next up for Lil’ Tater: joining Mark Trail for a quick lesson in how to be an “African Herbsman”, followed by double sessions with Judge Parker in “Easy Skanking”. you know, if there was a God and He wanted us to be Happy. And was a dreadlocked Rasta.

  286. Waz
    May 18th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#59): Like Snuffy, I’m a Marley fan, but Bob never played “Smoke Two Joints”. That’s The Toyes.

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