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It can’t be a political cartoon, there aren’t explanatory labels on everything

B.C., 6/18/12

OK, while we have yet another example of B.C. predator vs. prey antics, with implied family dynamics among eusocial insects to boot, and I’m on the record as enjoying this sort of thing in the past, I’m afraid I cannot fully approve of today’s B.C. Mostly I feel puzzled by the role in the narrative of the tree-dwelling … bear … thing. Did the bear-thing put up the fake foreclosure signs in an attempt to con the bees out of their hive and acquire the delicious honey within? Are the foreclosure signs actually meant to not be fake, and the bear-thing is an agent of the bank that holds the mortgage note on the beehive? Is this some kind of opaque political allegory about the ongoing housing crisis? Does the bear-thing have a primitive axe? When did bears start learning how to use tools? Should we be scared of an army of tool-weilding bears, come to take what’s rightfully theirs, like beehives and our foreclosed homes and who knows what else?

Funky Winkerbean, 6/18/12

“Silence, running-slave! The whole point of bringing you to this state of exhaustion was to leave you too tired to make unfunny puns or forced jokes! Looks like we’ll just have to keep going until you lose your power of speech entirely!”

Apartment 3-G, 6/18/12

“I never read What To Expect When You’re Expecting, so I literally have no idea what happens next! I know at some point I’m going to have to pay for this tiny human to go to college, but everything between now and then is a mystery. Does something come out my hoo-hoo at some point?”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/18/12

Snuffy can’t clean any of the clocks today, because he was savagely beaten over some gambling debts and is in too much pain to move.

345 responses to “It can’t be a political cartoon, there aren’t explanatory labels on everything”

  1. nescio
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    BB: Well, that’s just too blatant.

    DtM: You’ll never find out.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Jump Start — THE CURB??? Apparently, Robb Armstrong’s never heard of Goodwill, Salvation Army or homeless shelters. (More’s the pity since they can always use donations!)

  3. Pozzo
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    FW: Just put another brick in his backpack — that’ll fix him!

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    A3G — To quote Prissy from Gone with the Wind: “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ babies!”

  5. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    AS-M: He just told you how he did it, Peter. He blew up like a balloon and broke your webbing. Oh, you want an explanation of how he did that, like, with science and stuff? Uh, if your own story is anything to go by, I’d guess that he was bitten by a radioactive balloon dog.

    DtM: “No, Dennis. The souls of people in a persistent vegetative state are trapped in trapped in a nightmarish limbo — but not Limbo, mind you. That’s where unbaptized children such as you go, except you’ve already turned seven, so you’re going to Hell.”

    FC: If you look at Bil’s eyes, it’s pretty obvious that this only the second of a three-panel strip. Panel 1 is Thel’s funeral and panel 3 is Bil hanging from the ceiling fan in the rumpus room going round and round with Jeffy saying, “My turn, Daddy! My turn!”

    Pluggers are cheap assholes, Part XXIX: The Towening

  6. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Not only does Snuffy Smiff have a star of pain floating above his mangled body, but there is a star of pain punched right on to his elbow.

  7. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW – How is it that Bull is the exemplar of physical health and cardiovascular fitness? Is there an author/artist feud going on here? Bull is always drawn as overweight, with spindly little legs. Yet, apparently, he is in peak physical condition, with the stamina of an 18YO scholarship athlete?

    JP – Take County Rd 123, watch for the rain. Go it. Tune in tomorrow when the plot breaks out of this stasis and actually starts moving backwards. By Friday, the plane will be backing off the runway and back into the air, tail-first.

  8. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Judging by the bloody bandage on Les’ head, Snuffy’s not the only one who was savagely beaten. (Go, Bull, go!)

  9. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW: No pun intended? Because I didn’t make a pun, you jackass. Run harder, pencil-neck, or I go back to giving you swirlies.

  10. lorne
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    If I was Barney Google‘s editor, before accepting today’s strip I would want to see a sworn deposition from any human being anywhere who has ever referred to “clock cleaning” in the literal sense as a legitimate household activity.

    On the other hand, the phrase “clock cleaning” is hilarious all on its own.
    Clock cleaning, clock cleaning, clock cleaning!

  11. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    SM: So Parker’s super-strong spider webbing can be thwarted with balloon pressure? That’s it? All the crooks in NY take notes.

  12. LoFoMoFo
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: You call the birth photographer. That’s what happens next.

  13. Chareth Cutestory
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    B.C.: This makes me want to write a Watership Down-esque story about bee society. Colony collapse disorder has created a world where a large portion of the population has died off, bears are still as deadly as ever, and the banks aren’t afraid of busting kneecaps–with 6 to choose from.

  14. Vince M
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    FW: “What pun?!”
    “Shut up, he thinks he’s witty!”

  15. MattF
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    B.C. strip follows in the tradition of its founder by being incomprehensible. Seriously, in what way is there a joke there?

  16. pugfuggly
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    BC Let’s see…the bees must represent the beleaguered american homeowners, a bear almost always signifies russia, the hammer must signify the international working class so……I get it! It’s BC so it doesn’t ever make bloody sense.

    FW What’s beautiful about this whole scene is that the moment Les is too tired to be smug, everyone else seems to get just as smug as he usually is. A zero-sum smug game, it is.

    MT If you have to explain to your partner-in-crime that people can’t stay underwater indefinitely, I think you’ve picked the wrong murder accomplice.

    MW “Here, look! I got you some more purple to purple yourself up. Just throw on some more purple and we can purple our way to the airport.”

  17. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Open comment/question: Houston Chronicle comics page sucks. They’re slipshod about posting new comics and their ads/popups make my browser twitchy. Ditto for Seattle-P.I. Are their any other sites yinz guys would recommend? I might even be willing to pay money if it got me ad-free comics.

  18. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    DtM — Alice or Henry should ask Reverend Moochameal the 64 dollar question: “Is Heaven really Heaven if Dennis is there?”

  19. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    MT-You worry about the gun now. Not when you were up in the air and had a good chance of shooting him.

    JP-”Oh no. I have lots of dimes. That means the weather will constantly be changing.”

    MW-Dawn has plenty of time. You’ve only been talking about this trip for a month now and you will be talking about it for another month.

  20. Dennis Jimenez
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    BC – OK, let me try…the bees are Greeks – they’ve been depositing honey (Euros), but now they are only going to get paid back in molassas (Dracmas) and the bear is Andrea Merkel…

    FW – Mount-Kill-A Man-Lisa….

    A3G – I don’ know nuttin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies…

    BG&SS – That looks like they stole the punch-in time clock from Perkins – a very Hootin’ Hollar kind’a think to do – and I’ll bet it was a tennis shoe dine’n dash, too….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  21. Comcis Fan
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    (Reposting from pre-jump OT.)

    MW: In more uncomfortable father-daughter moments, Wilbur and Dawn re-enact the cross-generational seduction scene from “The Graduate,” with their own twist.

    Wilbur: “Miss Weston, are you trying to seduce me?”
    Dawn: “Not really.”

  22. Crankenstank
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    BC explains colony collapse disorder in its usual anthropomorphic style.

    The lurking banker is, I believe, meant to be a covetous beaver.

  23. Mibbitmaker
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    BC: The answer to that last question, Josh, is yes.

    FW: …or they should just both punch Les in the larynx and get it over with.

    A3G: She’s got legs… //I can’t finish the lyrics, since she clearly does not “know(s) how to use them”. Or how to use her birthin’-babies organs, for that matter. No wonder she can be so easily, chauvinistically manipulated!
    //I “sang” the lyrics in the first place mainly to express surprise that anyone in this strip has legs in the first place!

  24. Marc
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    A3G- Holy Crap, there are visible legs in Apartment 3G! Not only do we have our first glimpse of anything below the waist in who knows how long but we’re getting a little bit of Nina upskirt too. However that joy is soon mitigated by looking at the giant, lumpy bag of pennies stuffed up Nina’s shirt that she’s trying to pass off as a baby.

    Mary Worth- Wilbur is planning on bringing his favorite, bright pink clothing to Italy. Knowing this fact, Dawn’s will to live just dropped even further if that’s even possible. Life is brutal.

    Mark Trail- You can check the shoreline or you can just keep quiet for a minute or two and wait for Mark to shout out his next move.

    9CL- I hate this. Nothing is even happening and I want to punch that insufferable douche in the face for drawing it.

    Funky- Summer and Les became Japanese so gradually I hadn’t even noticed.

    Luann- Oh hey, Luann and her not-a-boyfriend are at the beach. What a perfect spot to humiliate Tiffany some more. Because we can’t do that enough. One more time: You’re not dating, you’ve made it perfectly clear every chance you get. Since you are not together, Tiffany is doing nothing wrong by asking Quill to go swim. Even if you were, it’s not really a big deal. But since she is designated bad guy; all her actions, no matter how perfectly ok and not evil, are to be condemned and ridiculed.

    Family Circus- PJ looks exasperated as he knows Jeffy is about to launch into his speech about the squeaky squirrel voice for the 400th time.

  25. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: All this laughing about Nina’s labor buries the lede: Margaret Shulock finally forced Frank Bolle to draw somebody below the rib cage! There’s even nearly half of a set of legs in frame. I don’t think she can keep this up, by having every character go into labor, but it’s still success.

    Barney Google: How do you tell “savagely beaten Snuffy Smith” apart from “Snuffy Smith”? No, really, how?

    Bliss: The upscale brick oven pizza joint is being threatened by the fish and chips shop next door. Just saying.

    Edge City: Well, this won’t be the most aggravating story of the month, will it?

    Family Circle: Dennis the Menace has got to feel it when he’s outclassed in “destroying adults’ will to live” by Jeffy.

  26. Hibbleton
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo saves the day, etc, etc. I’m waiting to see how Bolle illustrates Margo biting through the umbilical cord (and, presumably, Tommie hitting her over the head with a comical rubber mallet to stop her from eating the baby).

  27. Dan
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    When will the girls of Apartment 3-G learn, abstinence-only education doesn’t work? I mean yes, it worked on Tommie. But there were mitigating circumstances!

  28. Marc
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#10):
    Cleaning my clock? What does that mean? What, you’d take time out of your day to clean another man’s timepiece, and if so, that would be a bad thing? No, I would be gracious. I would say, dude, thanks for spritzing my watch.

  29. Esther Blodgett
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    FW: STFU, Les. No pun intended.

    Luann: Well, that 16-year-old girl’s butt is quite lovingly rendered. Seriously, dude, get help.

    A3G: Didn’t you ever see Alien, Nina? Just lie back and relax until the little critter bursts forth from your chest.

  30. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#10): “If I was Barney Google‘s editor…”

    Barney Google’s editor? Editor?! (convulsive, uncontrollable laughter)

    Oh, gosh, that’s a good one… If I was the Tsar of all the Russias… If I was the Man-in-the-Moon… If I was Sherlock Holmes smarter brother…

    Editor! Wow. Where do you come up with these things?

  31. McManx
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    BC — I guess this is a metaphor for today’s bear market economy. In the BC world, a real bear beats the shit out of you. Come to think of it, that’s how I feel after watching my portfolio tank over the last 3 years.

    Judge Parker — I’m seeing a distinct blurring of the lines between JP and Mark Trail here. There’s the raven haired hero, the flannel shirt, the bearded low-brow. Throw in a dog and a neanderthal child and Sam’s in Lost Forest.

    Dick Tracy — I realize these are supposed to be freckles on Blaze’s shoulders. But in comic convention, dots anywhere other then the nose are an indicator of hair stubble. Which makes Blaze a helluva more butch than her haircut suggests.

    Sally Forth — Hilary discovers hallucinogens; this should snap the Forths out of their summer doldrums.

  32. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#17): Try Darkgate Comic Slurper. Lots of us use it. It’s not perfect, but good selection and no ads.

  33. S. Stout
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Luann: Quill’s been a transfer student for three years now. He’s going to kiss Luann on New Year’s every year for the first time and then they will sing some songs on YouTube. This will repeat forever.

    A3G: Nina, Scott was giving you hairstyling books. He’s tired of dating someone with the same haircut as his grandma.

  34. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

  35. Marc
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#27): In that Tommie is too ugly and boring for anyone to want to bang and too dumb to figure out how to do it anyway?

  36. McManx
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#17): Cichla, I had to move to at:

    I was having the same problems you cited. Right now, Oregonlive is not as heavily animated with ads. It has the same Comics Kingdom group that the Seattle and Houston sites had.

  37. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Mandrake: Every time Mandrake says he’s going back to Xanadu I want him to take up disco roller-skating with Gene Kelly and Terpsichore only they’re cartoon animals singing ELO tunes. And yet the actual story turns out to be more ridiculous.

    Pardon My Planet: Much as I admire the strip for slipping full adult female lower-body nudity into the comics, I gotta wonder, how is she supposed to make do without pockets? A purse? Something?

    Pluggers: Every time you think the Pluggers are as sad as can be, out comes another Pluggers strip.

    Sherman’s Lagoon: I’m pretty sure that’s not a mood ring but one of Dick Tracy’s wrist-radios.

  38. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#17):
    If you know a little bit about writing web pages–Javascript will do–you can make your very own page, using the comicskingdom URL and awareness of how the various comic strips are titled and how individual days are labelled. I don’t want to be too explicit since I don’t want to annoy Comics Kingdom into changing, but they’re being very kind to people who want to create their own links, as for instance I do for my posts here, and a link can be an image just as easily.

  39. Doug Puthoff
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    A S-M: I thought Spidey’s webbing was damn near indestructible. Droopy Says had it right in yesterday’s entry; Clown name should be blood toothpaste by now.

  40. Little Blue Bicycle
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    A3G: Clearly Nina is too dumb to reproduce. It probably has been the flu all along.

  41. odinthor
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Candorville. — Win.

    Curtis.??? But . . . but here at CC, we also showcase our Never mind.

    H&L. — You know you’re in cartoonland when you see people blithely walking into the bathroom when they know someone else is in it. Either cartoonland or this hotel I stayed in once in Oslo.

    Love Is . . . — . . . As close as the nearest streetwalker!

  42. dmsilev
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    I have to say, I’m kind of disappointed with Dick Tracy’s big Mr. Crime reveal. I was hoping that Mr. Crime was Tracy himself. Having become bored with the low-grade criminals that he was killing in baroque ways, he decided that he needed a challenge and set out to build a criminal gang worthy of his full attention…

  43. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: So a grown woman doesn’t have a single clue about how labor proceeds—not from sex ed, not from movies or TV, not from talking to other people? Makes sense, actually, since this is also the place where people panic if they can’t see someone and don’t understand how telephones work or how to walk to go check on someone.

    But when did Manhattan become the Isle of the Dumb (and Dumber)?

    MT: Wow, that’s some outfit that the Purple Widow has on there. I bet Dawn Weston wishes she could rock those purple high-water mom jeans like that!

    MW: We apparently have a choice between two plots that will evolve this summer: Mary Worth conquers the advice-column industry through her innate platitudinous wisdom, and Dawn Weston sulks her way across Italy in the company of her pink-clad father. Indeed, life is brutal.

    JP: I hope to be able to continue my road trip this morning, but I’m a little concerned because no one has warned me about the weather yet.

  44. Chyron HR
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    I haven’t read any of those books Scott kept bringing me, but I’m pretty sure Snuffy is showing all the symptoms of being in labor.

  45. TheDiva
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Oh, if only there were a building filled with doctors and nurses ready to attend people in the event of a medical emergency! I could use the still-lengthy interval between my contractions to retain the services of a taxi driver to convey me there, where I could receive the professional help I need! Such an institution would no doubt also have phone service, enabling me to contact Scott and let him know what happened. But as it is, it’s hopeless!”

    FW: Don’t worry, none given.

  46. Noel Schornhorst
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Stephen Colbert was right (as always)– first bears take our homes, then our jobs, then our very way of life! Next thing you know, they’ll want the right to vote. They already have the right to bear arms.

  47. flatsixes
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT: Um… Am I just confused, or is Mike Harris walking on water?
    And Elizabeth? Purple pants. Not a good look on you.

  48. Noel Schornhorst
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    I’d have ended my post with ‘Wocka wocka wocka!’ but that’s just what the bears want!!!

  49. gnemec
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Remember when Jefferson Airplane went through a series of de-evolutions to become Starship, bearing zero relationship to the original band? That is where we are with B.C.

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]


    Dear Wendy:

    Everyone — including my BFF Trout — thinks I’m Marcy from “Peanuts.” What should I tell people to dispel that silly notion once and for all?

    Aggravated in Apalachicola

    P.S. I enclosed a photo of myself, so you see I look nothing like Marcy.

    Dear Aggravated:

    Wake up and smell the coffee, sweetie. Tell this “Trout” person (is that really his/her name?) and the rest of the world you ARE Marcy. And that you’re planning a musical comeback tour with the rest of the “Peanuts” cast. Then ask your friends and family to advance you the money to buy costumes, arrangements and pyrotechnics. After you raise the necessary funds, leave town and never look back.


  51. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    What happens next, Nina, is that your baby will kill you, just as you always feared. Specifically, a tiny Margo will burst from your stomach, strangle you with her umbilical cord, and run away with Scott and his money.

  52. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#27): Do you mean, abstaining from being educated about reproduction?

  53. Walker of Dog
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#24): This may be the first time Nina’s seen herself below the waist:
    “Is that the baby? Did I have twins? They’re so tall! Yay!”

  54. Binder's Butter Beans
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    BC: Defend your right to arm bears!

    A3G: Nina, what happens next is that you die. Or at least that’s what you’ve been telling everyone. Don’t let them make a liar out of you!

  55. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#54): Self-fulfilling prophecy, from the looks of it.

  56. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43): JP: I hope to be able to continue my road trip this morning, but I’m a little concerned because no one has warned me about the weather yet.

    You’ll have to check with the Post Office on that. Be sure to ask about county road alternatives to Interstate 10 and 20.

    // See you in Birmingham soon!

  57. Jessy
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#10): No kidding. Not to mention that since Loweezy chops th’ wood, cleans th’ house, and treks narrow mountain pathways to tend to th’ fambly business while Snuffy does nothing but gamble and steal chickens, it’s not likely that he’d be cleaning anything, much less clocks. Clearly the joke was so appealing that John Rose was willing to make Snuffy go out of character to volunteer for a task that is unlikely in the first place. Cleaned his clock! Haha!

  58. John C.
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    A3G: Not just that, Nina. You also didn’t watch Scott’s DVD of Season 1 of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” to scare you straight.

  59. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MW: Wilbur booked a train to Italy.

  60. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#59): They’ll end up in Italy, Texas.

    If they hurry up they may meet up with bb,u.

  61. Dood
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Why ‘n ‘ell do Snuffy and Loweezy have an antique clock, and why haven’t they pawned it yet for food and sech?

  62. TheDiva
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    9CL: A rather effective installment, one that makes you regret its use in the morass of stupidity that is the rest of the arc. Also, I notice I like McEldowney’s work better when no talking is involved. Maybe he should go the route of Lio and switch to a pantomime format.

    ….Nah, even quiet Edda is too aggravating for words.

    C’shaft: You’re just bitter because the old bastard always winds up in the emergency room and never in the morgue like you keep hoping for.

    Luann: Logic According to Luann:
    Tiffany likes Quill, and demonstrates it by flirting and inviting him to spend time with her. Tiffany is an unprincipled, man-hungry whore.
    Luann likes Quill, and demonstrates it by keeping their relationship in a nebulous twilight state where she refuses to acknowledge him as an “official” boyfriend, but still expects the exclusive favor of his attentions and gets jealous when she suspects him of bestowing them on another. Luann is a sweet, charming girl abounding in “inner beauty.”

    MT: Today the role of Elizabeth Chavez will be played by a young Ronald Regan in a black wig.

    MW: Dawn approaches the prospect of spending an entire summer with her dad with all the enthusiasm it deserves.

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “Using more words makes me smarter!”

    Pluggers use their car problems as an excuse for their rigid provincialism.

    SM: “Oh no, he has an inflatable suit! I’m way out of my league here!”

  63. fillmoreeast
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: Forget about the labor; you should really be trying to find out why your face is doing that. Were you bitten by a crazed Andre the Giant whilst walking upon the foggy moor or something?

  64. Horace Broon
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Crank: So if the States had free-at-point-of-service healthcare, Ed could break his neck all he liked? Innn-teresting…

    H&L: “He looks just like me, apart from the hair colour. Come to think of it he looks just like everyone in this strip who isn’t overweight!”

    JP: “The weather! Keep an eye on the weather! Those clouds could mean stormy weather! Weather!” I think there’s some forshadowing going on here, but it’s really subtle.

    MT: “If he’s alive he can’t stay under the water for ever!” The Widow Chavez foolishly bases her plan on the assumption that Mark Trail is a human being, rather than a nature-loving android with nearly-real hair.

    MW: “No, I’m passive-agressively hoping that if I haven’t packed by the time the plane’s due to leave, you’ll leave me the hell alone.”

  65. Mibbitmaker
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

    Bobby’s lines mirror common ones in Peanuts, so I did the ‘PCK’ gag like the daily Peanuts strips title. Also reflecting the main pop culture reference in today’s strip.

  66. Holly Folly
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Poor Nina. In the back of her mind, I’m sure she is replaying the alien chest burster scene from the movie Alien over and over again.

  67. Ethan Shuster
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Wow! Who would’ve expected an old legacy comic such as Snuffy Smith would portray it’s main character having had his eye torn from the socket by loan sharks?

  68. Dood
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Hmm, warnings about the weather. Sam and Avery on a fishing trip. Possible flooding. Hey, I know where this is going! Abbey and Peaches to the rescue with their flotation devices! Neat!

  69. seismic-2
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    FW: No pun intended – or even attempted, insofar as I can tell. Seriously, can someone please explain to me just what today’s strip is supposed to mean? Is it supposed somehow to be funny? I can’t find a single thing amusing about it. Of course, it shows Les being forced to suffer, but while that’s an enormously satisfying and enjoyable way to start the week, it isn’t particularly humorous.

  70. Chip
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Hey Spidey: Hit him with your webs again! What are the odds he’s wearing TWO inflatable suits?

    Come to think of it, what were the odds he’d be wearing ONE!?

  71. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: Amos finally realizes: he’s got to marry Nina!

    Close To Home: The Harrigans’ new swimsuits allowed them to frolic in the waves without fear of sharks. Tragically they never even suspected the Lusitania was stalking them.

    Inspector Danger: Oh, just go arrest Boston Blackie already. We know you want to.

    Ripley’s Believe It Or Not: Annette Edwards of Worcester, England, is abducting furries!

    I wonder what Britain’s Mark Trail is like. Does he go around punching people who talk all Scouse?

    Rose is Rose: Rose has the astounding power to inflict seabirds with a crippling sense of self-consciousness. Next up: she takes on Spider-Man!

  72. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Lio: *gigglez*

    Luann: service in the service of evil.

    SBp: spending Koalaty time. . . .

    JP: dun Dun DUN!!!

    PMP: service, I think.

    SF: somebody needs to adjust Ces’ medication levels again.

    SFx: *comforts teller before Jamus shows up*

  73. Seth Thomas
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    SS&BG: I can’t believe what I’m reading here! Do you people actually NOT clean your clocks regularly? Don’t you realize how FILTHY they can get? Especially when you have holes in your roof and walls that allow birds to perch on them.

  74. Rob
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#69): I think (and it hurts to think down to this level) that the “pun” is that they’re training to go to the “top” of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

    Yeah, that’s it.

    I’m just wondering if this storyline ends with Les finally “going to join Lisa” 15,000 feet up Kilimanjaro, leaving Summer to haul his carcass back down the mountain…

  75. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . a trope.

  76. Little Guy
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh, from the comments, I see this is a “humiliate Tffany” week. I’m a sucker for trainwrecks, so I might as well…


    Hello, Mister Evans. Would you have a seat over there?

  77. geekwhisperer
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    BC- What bugs me most about this for some reason is the stone hammer. It took me something like seven minutes of staring to figure out what it was. A potato on a stick? What the hell? I can find no conceivable reason the bear would have to have a primitive hammer except that he’s in BC, but then you have to go with the sign, the caution tape, the modern concepts of “bank” and “foreclosure” and then apply all that to a trick-playing bear and THEN remember the bear is in BC where they use stone tools…Is there a point when you look at the cartoon you’ve just drawn and say, “This makes no fucking sense whatsoever”? Or does having a tee time trump all and you just submit the thing to your editor.

    Ohhh, sorry Nmscudder- you’re right. No editor was involved.

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    AD – New animal character. Looks like Garfield’s distant ancestor. Bear, I’ll guess. Uses tools, too. I guess the bees qualify as new characters as well. (Bee, see?)

    Judge – He’s mentioned the weather twice now. This trip to Portentville could really pay off, if Sam has heard a word of it.

    Nancy – Wait, what about that other guy who died? How can you call this a humorous comic and not give a shout out to everybody in the music industry who dies?

  79. Dennis Jimenez
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#77): The hammer is obviously symbolic of European Union membership – not to worry – it’s only a Nerf® hammer – it’s kind’a scuffed up an’ that’s why it looks so weird….

  80. debussy fields
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MW–Fast forward to a beach in Italy, where Dawn continues to mope and sulk and bitch, leaving both Wilbur and Giorgio babbling “Life is brutal” to each other.

  81. Cloudbuster
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    9CL: Amos continues to look seriously mentally unbalanced. Can someone remind me again what qualities Amos allegedly possesses which would lead one to consider him attractive as a lover or husband?

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “I’m so awesome.”

    A3G: “What a fool I am!” For once, someone in this strip makes a simple, accurate, sensible statement! “I have no idea what happens next!” Then she reminds you that even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. A blind, stupid, stupid squirrel. Also, pause to note: we’re seeing almost an entire human body in Apartment 3-G! That happens roughly as often as the passage of Haley’s Comet!

    FW: I don’t often wish for meteor strikes, but I can’t figure out which of the three of them is the most repugnant, so I can’t wish for a more discriminating act of destruction. Fumbled hand grenade from neaby Camp Swampy, maybe?

    JP: I’m not a fan of JP’s new thing of having Monday be a recap of the new content we get on Sunday.

    ASM: So, just web him again. He can’t have an infinite supply of layered balloon suits and compressed air, right? (Although his ability to produce water and compressed air seemingly out of nowhere is pretty amazing! Don’t ask where he stuffed the compressed air tank and water bladder.) Also, I thought Spiderman’s webs were really strong. Wouldn’t the balloon just squish out the top and bottom of the web? Gosh, I know, don’t try to make sense of this. Advice to Spiderman: if you’d get yourself a Batman-like toolbelt, you could have whipped out your trusty “Spider-Pin” and popped Clown-9 like an overripe tick before he burst your web!

  82. Jamus The Bartender
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    A3G: I know childbirth is supposed to be a beautiful and transformative experience, but I pray to God we won’t see any of that here.

  83. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#34): PERFECT! Thanks!

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    not bird, not plane, nor even frog.

    pulling out the big dog squee for bb,u, times two.

    a little something for Poteet.

    an otter up a tree. your argument is invalid.

    The Daily Puppy is an adorable mutt.

    brindle on the beach.

    ikkle corgi mix.

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    and the non-squee:

    totally NSFBG.

    King Louie IRL.

    ikkle cosplayer WIN.


  86. Santa Royale With Cheese
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    S-M: And now, we are led to believe that C-9 magically took into account that Spider-Man might web him up and made a suit that can puff up and tear webbing off. (To whomever mentioned upthread that Spidey’s webbing is virtually indestructible, it’s been torn off/up by other villains from time to time.) Even Hercules himself couldn’t suspend the window of disbelief this long.

    JP: Beeeewaaaaare, beeeeware the weather, I mean, Zach Galifianakis tagging along and making adorable, if not ingratiating man-child comic hijinx.

    A3G: But Nina did read the Twilight series, hence the trepidation.

  87. Roto13
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Judging by the change in Nina between panels 1 and 2, I don’t think any book would have prepared her for her offspring bursting out of her skin as a full grown adult.

  88. Jamus The Bartender
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Luann: Today’s strip would be improved with some assorted scratching, hair pulling, biting, and the occasional “step back, bitch, thass MY man”, but I know that’s not going to happen, plus the Kardassians have that sort of thing in abundance. Or so i’m told.

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#83): Oh, Darkgate’s not perfect – some of the comics don’t update properly (there are work-arounds) – but it is better than anything else I’ve tried.

    // Glad to help.

  90. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#81):

    Re: 9CL – Amos posesses the rare and indispensible quality of willingness to be a completely obsequious tool to the demands of a Burber woman. He will allow her to tell everyone else in her world about her alleged pregnancy before telling him. He will ignore the death threats issued against him when Edda tells her story. He will ignore that she saw the ring and ran off to try to convince Seth to marry her instead. He will ignore everything in exchange for the obligation to service her sexually when she is turned on by one of the men who she does consider worthy.

    These are rare and delightful qualities in a male, well worth Edda’s settling for someone who is not physcially appealing to her, is not able to keep up with her, and probably has other qualities as well, but none of them are relevant to a Burber, whose life must revolve around their sexual appetite.

  91. Downpuppy
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    JP : I finally put the portents together, & everything’s coming up Peaches! The big deal about mailing the contract (to whom?), the “heir apparent”, Avery’s obvious impending demise – All of this heads together into some actual legal issues (Be still my pouding heart!) about the enforceability of terms.

    Peaches is obviously Stanford Law, & will have no problem getting admitted in Pennsylvania to try this.

  92. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    BC — The saddest thing of all is that the bear apparently thinks bald-faced hornets make honey. That bear is in for an unpleasant surprise.

    Warning, nature lecture ahead — bail while you can! Honeybees do swarm and establish hives in the wild, though that’s much less common now that mites and colony-collapse are big problems. But the bees need a fairly sturdy structure like a hollow tree (or a wood duck box, which became a hive here). They’ll use a suspended hive, but it has to have sturdy suspension like a heavy wire. The thing in BC doesn’t seem to have one.

    The thing in BC looks most like the large paper nest of a colony of bald-faced hornets. Because their nest is so big and visible to potential predators, bald-faced hornets have evolved to be good at defending it and quick to sting, unlike some gentler kinds of paper wasps that build tiny unobtrusive nests. Marching up and hitting a bald-faced hornet nest with a stone hammer is not a good idea unless the hitter really enjoys pain. Good luck, bear!

  93. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#84): Yay! (I’m sitting in my hotel room waiting for the car-repair guy to call with, I hope, news that my car is ready to go–and so the distraction is welcome!)

  94. tb4000
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    S4th: You are Ted’s daughter, make no mistake about that.

  95. Jamus The Bartender
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#72): Not a chance. Cassandra cured that with a paw to the back of the head :)

  96. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MW: I have been sitting on my ass for weeks stuffing my pie hole with food that I don’t have to grow, hunt or cook. I have a thousand entertainment options within arm’s reach. Now I’m being offered a vacation to an charming Italian villa that I won’t have to pay for… but he wants me to pack my suitcase by myself! Life is so brutal!

  97. Illustrator Steve
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MT – From the light turquoise-blue color of that river water, it appears that river bed either has a large limestone deposit or else this part of Lost Forest must be located somewhere in the caribbean. If that’s the case, maybe Mark can swim underwater to Drug Smugglers Island (TM) and steal another one of Otto-the-drug-kingpin’s planes and fly himself to Miami again, that is if they even let him back into the country with that contraband nicotine gum wrapper he has inhis pocket. Which, come to think of it, would be mighty soggy by now, DONTCHATHINK?!

  98. NoahSnark
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Dragged into reality by her contractions, Nina finally picks up a book. Three pages in she gives up and spends the rest of her labor trying to put the baby back where it came from.

  99. Oregonian
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Rob (#74): See now, if the coach had said “Your Dad will be in peak condition,” that would be a pun. Not a knee-slapping bit of hilarity, mind you, but still a simple, honest, respectable pun. But “top shape”??? That’s only a pun if he’s in training to spin like a ballerina or ride the Tilt-a-Whirl.

  100. Walker of Dog
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43): From Interstate 10 at Deming, take US 180 through the Gila National Forest. No raging wildfires today. Nope – totally safe.”
    (sinister mustache)

  101. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    BC: I’m not sure what role the bear is playing here. Supposing he was the one who put up the “Foreclosed” sign, why is he hiding? Why is he gnawing on the tree? Does the bear represent congress? The housing collapse? Bear Stearns?

    The stone tool obviously represents the metaphorical hammering of politically charged news slant into the collective hive mentality of Americans.

  102. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#100): Well, okay, but what about the weather?

  103. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    SM: Now that Ass-in-9 has encased his body in a giant balloon, wouldn’t that render him almost immoble? Just roll him over and out the door. Whatever you do, don’t pop him. There’s only one place that Clowny could have hidden all that compressed air, and it’s not pretty.

  104. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#24) re MW: When Wil’s man-boobs swathed pink,
    Makes your libido shrink,
    Vita e brutale!

    @McManx (#31) re: JP: I can barely contain my anticipation for the massive head trauma that will transform Sam Driver into Mark Trail. Will he simply slip on a stone and hit his head? Accidentally lobotomize himself with a poorly cast fly? Get punched in the forehead by a purple-clad weirdo with a skull ring? Asphyxiate on a short-stack at a riverside diner? So stoked to find out!

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43):

    But when did Manhattan become the Isle of the Dumb (and Dumber)?

    My current theory is that the locales of most of the serial soap strips such as Charterstone, Lost Forest, and Midtown on up in A3G’s Manhattan are actually white people reservations in the year 2212. The congenital stupidity of the denizens of these strips in explained by environmental degradation and inbreeding.

    @TheDiva (#62): At least Spidey’s self-aware enough to know he’s got zero chance against Baron Harkonnen.

    @Hogenmogen (#96): When snacks don’t help the sad,
    And make you more like your dad,
    Vita e brutale!

  105. bbofun
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Given that Spider-Man’s webbing is established to pretty much have the tensile strength of steel, picture trying to expand your balloon-suit while tied up in a cord made up of the sort of “wire” used on suspension bridges. Instead of bursting the wire/web, wouldn’t the pressure take the path of least resistance- either slipping out the top and bottom of the wire/webbing, or crushing Clown-9?

    On the other hand, this is newspaper Spider-Man, whose spider-sense can be over come by a brick, so…

    Oh, and- IT IS BALLOON!

  106. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FW: Yeah, your dad will be in top shape. Because the only way to go from the top is down, down, down the degenerative process eventually leading to old age and death! I’m pretty sure cancer figures in there, too! Cancer! Cancercancer! Anyway, I hope you two have a good time on Kill-a-man-jardoh. While it lasts.

  107. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#84): I like to imagine the smile on the face of the person holding the little turkle…

  108. bbofun
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Judge Parker- bearded customer is getting even more pissed-off. I’m going to be really disappointed if he doesn’t follow Sam and run him off the road, taking Sam and Avery hostage for some of that big hollywood money!

    In other words, I’m going to be really disappointed.

    Nice to see Don Ameche getting work, though.

    Peaches, Peaches, why have you forsaken me?

  109. CanuckDownSouth
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#96): Maybe she’s realized that after weeks of eating comfort food while lying on the couch or her bed, she’s wearing the only outfit that still fits.

  110. odinthor
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    #81. Cloudbuster.

    9CL: Amos continues to look seriously mentally unbalanced. Can someone remind me again what qualities Amos allegedly possesses which would lead one to consider him attractive as a lover or husband?

    Job stability. You see, he’s got this permanent starring gig with a comic strip even without having any other likeable or desirable qualities.

    JP. — What I want to see is this story arc ending without the weather playing a part. [End of arc: Sam saying, "Well, whew--looks like we beat those storm clouds! Now, where do we put all these gold nuggets and boxes of cash we found?"]

    After preview: — So why does my typing two hyphens sometimes result in a short dash, sometimes a long dash, and sometimes just two hyphens? Um, celebrate diversity?

  111. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    9CL — “Oh I am so very very mad!” thought Amos and then he got into a car and thought “I’ll show her!” and then he drove off a very tall cliff AAIIIEE and he was smashed dead and then Edda found out and thought “Oh noes, it was my fault!” and then she got into a car and drove off the same cliff AAIIIEEE and she was smashed dead and then all her relatives and friends and coworkers thought “We don’t want to live any longer without Edda and Amos for some reason!” and they all got into a big bus to save gas and drove off the same cliff AAIIIEE and they were all smashed dead and the money in their bank accounts was used to hold the mass funeral and clean up the big mess THE END.

  112. Shrug
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    BC: Since this is set in nominal prehistoric times, any bear found in the strip can be assumed to be a Cave Bear. But this bear is out of his cave and is forced to make a home in a tree instead, at the same time that the bees are forced out of their hive. We are seeing the accelerating signs here of global BC economic collapse. Tomorrow we’ll watch the ants get kicked out of their anthills and the next day Turtle will lose his shell.

    Alternate theory: “Cave Bears” always did live in trees. The idea that they lived in caves is due to a misunderstanding when a Latin-speaking Neanderthal shouted “beware of the bear” and the name stuck.

    (Yes, he should have shouted “Cave ursus” or something instead of “Cave bear,” but how much Latin can you expect a Neanderthal to remember in the heat of the moment?)

  113. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: What’s that Nina is resting on? I don’t understand that there was supposed to be a solid surface underneath the A3G characters. In patented A3G style, though, the hitherto undiscovered flat thing supporting Nina does shift colors and the molding around the base changes from 4″ to 2″. Tomorrow it may change from parquet linoleum to faux marble.

    Josh: Best use of the word “hoo-hoo” that I’ve heard ever.

  114. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#105):

    Oh, and- IT IS BALLOON!

    Was that an F Troop reference?

  115. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#81): 9CL: He looks like a younger version of the guy writing this strip! DUH!

    I do wonder why he’s getting angry as he’s contemplating his next move. Surely he’s not intending to hurt Edda.

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    BC: Sloths own the mortgages on beehives? That’s an aspect of the prehistoric ecology that I never would have thought about.

    FW: The rare pun that’s too lame for even most Funky Winkerbean characters to acknowledge. Most but not all.

    A3G: No idea what comes next? That would seem to put you on an even footing with Shulock and Bolle.

    MT: “We can’t let Trail get to the sheriff’s office with a saggy gum wrapper. That will get us in trouble. Let’s leave his bullet-riddled corpse lying on the shore. That will not get us in any trouble.”

    Crock: Maybe Fatima regards housekeeping as a waste of her obvious telekinetic abilities.

    9CL: “I’ve got it! If Edda won’t marry me, I’ll just chuck this ring at her head. That’ll show her!”

    Agnes: Oh no! Just as Mary Worth takes over the “Ask Wendy” column, Agnes stands to fall into her clutches.

    Archie: Note to Archie creative team and any readers who are only familiar with digital photography. Darkrooms aren’t/weren’t pitch black. You need light from part of the spectrum to develop the pictures. You also need a lock, but that’s obviously something Jughead and Dilton were too busy playing “seven minutes in Heaven” to think about.

    RMMD: Wouldn’t the time you were actually in jail be when you thought things couldn’t get any worse?

    BB: There’s no “sub” in the subtext today. I’m half expecting Sarge to pull an engagement ring out of his pocket.

    H&L: In point of fact the old picture of Hi looks like a beardless Hi, not very much like Ditto at all. That’s not to that there aren’t a dozen points of trauma in the last panel, though.

    PBS: Now they’re going to throw a blanket party for Pastis.

    FC: “Yeah, well, Billy once tried to get me to do the high, squeaky voice better. Now I wear a cup during story time.”

    S-M: It looks like millions of dollars in clowning research and development grants are bearing fruit. Seriously, with the means to produce all this wacky technology, Hardy Laurel probably just could have bribed his way onto Broadway.

    H-Cliff: Stockholm Syndrome in action.

    S4th: Oh that is gloriously demented.

    SFx: Behind the counter, teller Cassandra Cat (love the kicky new ‘do!) weeps that any criminal should be so stupid.

    Baldo: “Please, Tia Carmen. Let’s not make this ‘Marvin en Español.’”

  117. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111): Can you do that with Funky Winkerbean?

  118. LP2004
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111): *sniff* Oh, how I love a happy ending…

  119. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    9CL — So an adult literate female human being in the year 2012 has no idea whatsoever how labor proceeds. Yep, the tough, gritty realism of this strip never fails to impress.

  120. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43): Oops, you made the same basic snark on A3G first. Sorry.

  121. Droopy Says
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Spiderzero: Is there any hope that Asinine’s clown balloon has a small valve near its base? MJ could kick it open and he’d go jetting around the theater. It would be a new crazy way for Spiderman to win by standing around.

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#110): I like having the two hyphens turn into a long dash, but it only seems to happen when I compose my comments in Word first.

  123. bats :[
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

  124. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#116): While Harris and the Widow Chavez are certainly six kinds of stupid, Mark’s plan of proving Gene’s innocence by getting himself murdered while his friend is still imprisoned has a crazy-like-a-(brain-damaged)-fox genius to it.

  125. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#115): Amos proposing to Seth would be amusing.

  126. Trix
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#17):I use the Washington Post-very good for serial comics. Then Comics Con for the funnies. I can spend a whole morning if I follow with the Mudge. Life is good.

  127. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#93): happy to be of service.

    saw a lady walking a mastiff this morning, that was my moment of squee. :-)

  128. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: He can’t stay underwater forever! He can hide under his overturned canoe and swim it to shore, but let’s ignore that easily accomplished trick as we continue our air search in a different part of the lake!

  129. bats :[
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#100): Other than you having her go in the *opposite* direction home, she’ll end up in Tucson, and…and…oohhhh, I see…
    (bats :[ got mustachez?)

  130. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y203): Yes, because of that comic, each night before going to bed I’d be sure to say, “Well, I’m quite sure I won’t sleep well tonight,” and then I’d stay awake to make sure that I was still alive until I couldn’t stay awake any longer and I think I just figured out why I grew up to be a night owl.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#Y205): Well, that was the idea of “scouting.”

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y207): Ain’t irony great?

  131. bats :[
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#104): Bravo! Bravo!
    Pesca e brutale!

  132. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    9CL: He returned the ring, right? He went into the store, returned the ring, got his money back, threw money on the counter, and then ate the receipt. He also hissed something about there being no better luck than Edda, which wasn’t creepy at all.

    But my point is, McEldowney made it very clear that Amos returned the ring.

    So why does he have it in his hand now? Or did he return the ring, throw back the money, eat the receipt, hiss something about Edda, but for some inexplicable reason keep the box? Is he planning a revenge by going to Edda, presenting her with the box, and then opening it up and showing her it’s empty — just like her love for him — or his love for her — or something?

    See, the thing is he took back the ring but now he’s holding it in his frakkin’ hand!

  133. Walker of Dog
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy, your dad will make that squeaky voice if you punch him in the right place. You know it as the “devil’s fork”.

    FW: “Because he’ll be shaped like a top…” Burn?

    Phan: “This neighborhood is specifically zoned as Single-Family 4, no fighting to the death.”

    Plug: Is that she-Plugger throwing a gang sign?

  134. Smokey Stover
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    That’s the best-drawn B.C. I’ve ever seen. Clearly influenced by Commander Mark.

  135. Cloudbuster
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#115): “Surely he’s not intending to hurt Edda.” Don’t trample on my dreams!

  136. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#y201): That’s one thing that’s in fact realistic. When you live in San Diego, and know that the beach is always there, and the nice weather for visiting it is almost always there, it turns out that, unless you’re a surfer or a small child, you don’t go to the beach all that often.

    Also, unless Luann can drive (which I don’t remember her doing) and has access to the car, it’s pretty difficult to get to the beach unless you live right near it.

  137. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Re: B.C. I’m just puzzled because that looks like a wasps’ nest, not a beehive. Bear’s gonna be surprised, is all I’m saying.

  138. Little Guy
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    9CL: “Ah, Precioussssssssss……. my Preciousssssssssss…..”

  139. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#7): You might be surprised. There are a fair number of people out there who could run rings around me all day, who are also much fatter than me. It is, in fact, possible to be both fat and extremely fit.

  140. Charly
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Amos is going to hop on a plane and propose to Tiffany. It’s San Diego, so there could be public masturbation involved.

  141. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MW-Life is brutal.

  142. Cloudbuster
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111): … Fifty years later, it turns out Amos survived. Terribly scarred, the corrective surgery left him looking like Captain Kangaroo. Under the new name “Aldo,” Amos relocated to a small city in southern California, where he found a new object for his obsession….

  143. Dood
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: In the words of Dan Diller-as-Gandalf, “This shall not pass for fanservice.”

  144. Dood
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Finally, a marital pairing where it’s difficult to imagine one spouse consuming the other, except under the most dire of circumstances.

  145. Harold
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#67): Oh GOD, that’s all I can see! They tore out Snuffy’s EYE!!! That’s the sort of thing you won’t see in “Archie.”

  146. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#92): And I see Poteet beat me to the wasp hornet comment, and did it much better. *tips hat admiringly*

  147. Walker of Dog
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “Thanks for the tip!” Now even postal workers are giving Sam money.

    S-M: Clown-9 worked out this exploding-balloon trick in his mother’s basement, where he learned that helium was funnier and safer than hydrogen. Sorry Mom, oh the humanity.

    MW: I see Wilbur has remembered to pack his pink turban. The Mediterranean sun is brutal.

    9CL: Hand grenades come in red now?

  148. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111): *laughing*

    That actually made me wonder if McE is considering this some sort of hybrid mutant version of Romeo and Juliet meets O. Henry.

    Given that the guy fears editing like an Oz witch fears water, though, perhaps not.

  149. Borborygmy
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#139): “It is, in fact, possible to be both fat and extremely fit.”

    All RIGHTEE!!

    Halfway there! (When does part two kick in?)

  150. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#132): I thought it was implied that he snatched it back after flinging the money and stomping off in a huff.

  151. Steve
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Sad when Batiuk’s laborious, studied set-ups fail him, and he can’t extend his pun over three panels, necessitating a character to point out the the humor–of COURSE the pun was intended, Les, that’s the only reason you’re still alive! (The “What?” is just … wait, what?)

  152. Shrug
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#132):

    Amos returned the ring, but he kept the box because it’s just the right size to hold the poison pill he has taken to carrying with him at all times, just in case he finds someday that can’t take one more of Edda’s horrible barracuda-type smiles.

    Alternately, the box is the right size for carrying around a pet Mexican jumping bean. Maybe that’s a new plot thread.

    (Actually, I thought he *didn’t* return the ring — he went to do so but changed his mind at the last moment, which is why he threw the money back to them.)

  153. Cloudbuster
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43): “But when did Manhattan become the Isle of the Dumb (and Dumber)?”

    Caution, mild political snark: Shortly after Nanny Emperor-For-Life Bloomberg of the Walled City of New York made any sense of personal responsibility or self-preservation irrelevant with his new “Just do what I tell you to do. Fuck you, that’s why!” law! Calling Snake Pliskin! (end mild political snark).

    Back to A3G, though, you’d think we would have gone beyond the point where writers could use such obviously contrived, unrealistic devices and expect their readers to eat it up. I guess you’d be wrong to think that, though.

  154. Spotts1701
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#132): He did, but then when he threw the money on the counter he took the ring back and ate the receipt so he couldn’t return it again. And yet despite this obviously-deranged behavior the clerk didn’t bat an eyelash.

  155. Spotts1701
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#153): Snake Plissken? I thought he was dead.

  156. geekwhisperer
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    MT Where is Mike Harris Standing? They just landed the floatplane in the middle of the lake and pulled Mark’s canoe over the float. So now where is he? On an upright paddleboard? Astride the backs of two crocodiles? Hovering like that kid in Salem’s Lot? And if he can float like that, why does he need a plane?

    Less than Amazing SM So, wait…Spiderman’s web is strong enough that he can swing from it, but it can be broken by an inflatable suit? What the hell? This is one of those situations where we’re so deep down the superhero/villain rathole (such as we can call them in this sad scenario) that we’re stuck using all these stupid tricks but can’t see the forest through the trees. You know what Spiderman needs right now? A Taser. Just tase the living shit out of Clown 9 weather he’s bouncing around or not. Right in the balls, let him have it. He can inflate and deflate as many times as he wants while Spidey stands about 20 feet away yelling “put your hands behind your back!” like an angry cop. And when he says, “I always was electrifying on stage,” he can hit him again with 300kv and watch him do the flounder for a while. That should shut him up.

    /I’d love to see a side by side effectiveness/entertainment comparison between SM and a sightly overcaffeinated sheriff’s deputy.

  157. Alfred E. Neuman
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#93): Since everyone else has beaten me to the clever snark, I will put on my Postal Service uniform so I can offer you travel advice.

    If you are going to head back east on I-10, be sure all of the illegal immigrants who have secreted themselves in your car while it was being repaired have gotten out before you reach the immigration checkpoint west of Sierra Blanca. You can do the clown car act by unloading them at the rest stop at the Mile 99 exit a mile or so before you get to the checkpoint. Just look for the screaming Baka Gaijin sign.

    P.S. Willie Nelson was famously busted for pot possession at this checkpoint, so they can thoroughly screen U.S. citizens as well.

  158. flatsixes
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#155): No, that’s Al Chavez who’s dead. Snake’s now a local bush pilot in the Porterville area..

  159. Marc
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#132): Yeah, that hissing thing he did about Edda was one of the creepiest things I think I’ve ever seen in the comics. Guy’s a total nutjob.

  160. Hersteria
    June 18th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    B.C. – Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife.

    A3G: I applaud the use of “hoo hoo.”

  161. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#123): The Dixie Julep wanted poster is a sweet touch. I guess word never got around to these parts.
    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#124): “Crazy like a brain damaged fox” could be the title of Mark’s autobiography.

  162. Calico
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Nina, first take off your undies-that might help (oh, right, she can’t reach them!).
    Then, squat (apparently the earliest known and best position for baby to pop out)
    One of my friends had a very easy delivery in squatting position-the third and last, I think-kid just came out like a breeze.

  163. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#150): But then the comment about putting his receipt to one side doesn’t make sense. I figured the jewellery guy was suggesting that after having first bought the ring, then returning it so quickly, Amos might be back to buy it again. But the woman said he’d thrown the money back at her (indicating that he was so thoroughly finished with this engagement that he didn’t even want the refund) and ate the receipt.

    I’m confused.

  164. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#152): See my comment to Rana@Frank Lee Meidere (#163). Ah — I just went back. She does say that he took back the ring.

    My bad.

  165. Calico
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Beetle – I know it’s been mentioned in this post, but Sarge, you are stating the obvious.
    “I wish I knew how” … etc. etc.

    DtM – Oh Dennis, that is a moot point, at least for you, because you’re going to be in Purgatory for at least a few thousand years.

    FC – “Mommy does that squeaky squirrel voice when I hear your bed also squeaking at night, Daddy!”

  166. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Blondie — J.C. Dithers finally admits what I’ve always suspected: he’s really Dagwood’s father, J. Bolling Bumstead.

  167. Calico
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#3):
    Make that a Cinder Block.
    More concrete, mule!

  168. Calico
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @lorne (#10):
    Time to repeg the banjo, Snuf! : P

  169. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#168): “Repegging the Banjo” sounds like an unspeakably filthy sex act. (That’s your cue, Bats :[.)

  170. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    A&J – Hah. Excellent taste, Mr. Arlo.

    Archie – I was going to criticize this strip for having Dilton using a traditional film camera and doing his own developing, but then I realized that, for proof-of-cryptids purposes, it’s actually more difficult to fake things with in-camera effects than with edited digital photography (though by no means impossible,) and thus a set of photo negatives would be far more convincing evidence than an SD card full of JPEGs. The general removal of the setting from the era of commonplace film photography also explains why Archie is asshole enough to just barge right into a clearly-labeled darkroom. Congratulations, Archie, you accidentally stumbled your way into believability!

    A.D. – Bears with tools? No sweat. If there’s anything modern preconceptions of Neanderthals has taught us, it’s that a species with a more primitive tool culture than anatomically modern humans clearly must be a bunch of idiots even if they left evidence of sophisticated practices such as ceremonial burial! Remember, if you don’t have evidence of them being comparably intelligent to modern man, that’s reason enough to assume they weren’t! Perhaps the new but assuredly primitive and superstitious Ursus habilis can be frightened into submission if we claim to be gods. Does anyone know when the next eclipse is?

    DT – Blaze has about the exact expression I had when this bomb was dropped. I’m sorry, Staton & Curtis, even the characters can’t take this reveal seriously.

    Garfield – The scary thing about aging, evidently, is that you start drawing the human brain as a misshapen lace doily.

    Love Is… – …the coconut-like sound of their heads colliding. [*]

    Luann – So Luann offered to join Tiffany for a clearly-intended swimming sexytime before Quill did. I mean, we’d all pretty much guessed about Quill, but this is a bit of a revelation for Luann. Has anyone informed Bernice?

    PBS – “Stay! Shred some cheese!” Phrase of the day.

    Ripley’s – What the hell is up with the UK and giant rabbits? Do they have a B-movie in the works over there or something? (Don’t they know Deforest Kelly’s dead?)

  171. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#163): No. I’m pretty sure he wound up keeping the ring and throwing the money. It comes off as incoherent because it’s Amos.

  172. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#154): I think it was the “Shall I put his receipt on your desk” comment that confounded me. To me it meant that he’d given back the ring, along with his receipt. If he kept the ring, whey would the clerk still have the receipt. If the clerk had said, “He took back the ring, threw down the money, and ate the receipt” then I’d not been confused. But having returned the ring, why would anyone expect the clerk to still have the receipt?

  173. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    9CL – When the clerk wished him “better luck next time” he realized that there is no better luck than Edda (who, at the time, was busy propositioning her roommate), ate the receipt and took his ring back. Now, he is screwing his courage to the sticking place (probably somewhere in the couch cushions) so that he can finally, actually propose.

    If there were a god, he would walk in on Seth being pegged by Edda’s art, realize that the only reason he believes there is noone else but Edda is that he has never had anyone other than Edda, and march off to find someone whose universe has room for two people to live in it.

  174. Calico
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#26):
    Perhaps Margo, will just settle for the placenta.
    OK, I grossed even myself out just now! : )

  175. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#172):

    He does not need the receipt, nor is there any need for it to exist, because he will never return the ring, because he is determined to make her accept it at any cost, even if he has to strangle her and place the ring on her cold, dead, finger. Which would be preferable.

    Remember that when he got the ring, the clerk made a big deal of leaving the receipt in plain sight because jewlery clerks like to be contemptuous of their customer’s chances to actually have their proposal accepted. Hence, the big deal about destroying it.

  176. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley — Worth noting: Manny [Rosenfeld], Moe [Strauss] and “Jack” [W. Graham Jackson] are the Pep Boys*, auto part suppliers extraordinaire since 1920 (two years after GA started). And no, they don’t look a thing like The Three Stooges!

    *A fourth partner, Moe Radavitz, was apparently too shy (or not considered important enough) to get his face immortalized in company advertising.

  177. Katie
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Labor pains do not feel like the flu. They make you feel like you really need to poo. Maybe Marvin’s writers should take over A3G for a bit.

  178. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I’d love to see the conversation that must have happened at some point:

    FRIEND OR COWORKER: So you’re pregnant, Nina? Congratulations! Has your doctor given you any literature or suggested any classes to help you know what to expect in a first pregnancy?

    NINA: Buh, yeah, I didn’t read it.

    FoC: …you didn’t read it? Are you going to?

    NINA: Nah, not really. I mean, this is Scott’s thing, I’m pretty much just doing it for him. I don’t really want to know about the details, I just want to get it over with.

    SCOTT: Right on! I don’t understand why you’re not enthused about lugging around a baby in your abdomen for nine months, but I’m sure everything will be wonderful and it won’t be a bloody mess at all! No need to go all crazy with research!

    FoC: *backs slowly away*

    FRANK BOLLE: Well, if they don’t know what’s going to happen, I don’t have to figure out how to draw it! Rawk!

    H&L – Ah, you’ll come to terms with that in another six or eight years, Ditto. I did.

    Mandrake – You’re right, Mandrake, that last adventure couldn’t end soon enough! Which is why it didn’t.

    MT – Nice BB rifle there, Mike. Good luck getting it to penetrate Mark’s depleted-uranium skull.

    MW – These two deserve each other.

    PMP – “So yes, I’m completely pantsless, in the funny papers. It’s completely acceptable as long as you don’t display recognizable genitalia. Hey, if Ziggy can get away with it…and don’t get me started on those Love Is… kids!”

  179. Écureuil Écumant
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#8): “Judging by the bloody bandage on Les’ head… ”

    Looks like a hachimaki headband, famously worn by kamikaze pilots, and emblazoned with a “rising sun” emblem that proclaims the wearer is a meatball.

    @Chip Whittle (#25): “Edge City: Well, this won’t be the most aggravating story of the month, will it?”

    Particularly because, after making it through the winter, the DC faction decamped in the middle of last week already.

  180. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#170):

    DT – Blaze has about the exact expression I had when this bomb was dropped. I’m sorry, Staton & Curtis, even the characters can’t take this reveal seriously.

    OK, Commodorejohn? Your jaw is about to drop. You are also just about to turn over to Staton and Curtis like four free Internets and your first-edition printing of The Compute! Book Of Commodore 64. You are going to say they are awesome beyond all measure. Ready? Really, really ready?

    Here’s Sunday’s Dick Tracy with the reveal of how Davey became the new Mister Crime.

    Here’s the strip from 367 days previous, an odd interlude that baffled us all at the time and was apparently left for forgotten in the rush of New Tracy events.

    You may not buy it, but, Mike Staton and Joe Curtis are amazing.

  181. UncleJeff
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    cloudbuster@81: Amos can comb his eyebrows with his tongue.
    For some reason, that talent seems to really impress the Burbur women.

  182. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#175): This is a case where my stupid is getting in the way.

    Like I said, if she’d simply said that he ate the receipt after taking the ring and throwing back the money, I’d have been fine. If I returned something and then changed my mind in a dramatic and no-going-back fashion, then I’d give back the money, take the product, and either take or destroy the receipt, thereby indicating that I could never change my mind. (Of course, this is completely ridiculous, because stores realise that people sometimes want to return things for which they’ve lost the receipts and have procedures in place for just such occasions.)

    But the male clerk indicates that Amos’s actions would result in a receipt that was left behind, which is what happens when you actually returned something. You give them the product and the receipt, then they give back the money. You don’t take the receipt with you, because you no longer own the item to which it refers. At this point, the receipt is then placed on someone’s desk or whatever happens to it.

    Of course the real issue here is that Amos shouldn’t be in possession of such a small object in the first place since, for anyone of his mental and emotional development it could prove to be a choking hazard.

  183. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (earlier#208):
    Donald and Scrooge McDuck were geniuses courtesy the genius of Carl Barks

    @Hogenmogen (earlier#211):
    With the Spider Sense kicking in while he is wearing his mask maybe the reason why they forego showing half a Peter Parker face is because within a couple of panels Spiderman will get his butt kicked so the Spider Sense doesn’t need to be made into that big of a deal.
    //though, I do wonder if during the 60s if those tingly, squiggly lines emanating from Peter Parker’s head ever became a staple of psychedelic poster art.

  184. UncleJeff
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#180): Great save, Chip!
    The new creative team at “Dick Tracy” should be proud they have fans who can connect the dots like you do.
    Sunday’s strip reminds me of pro wrestler Mick Foley’s comment that a real heel/villain is most effective when he has a back story that is logical and actually can lead to some sympathy for his position.

  185. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#179): I think you maki a lot of hachi over a little joke.

  186. Hogenmogen
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#153): Yes! That’s what happened! Nina is now thinking “I wish I didn’t have that 20 oz soda! Maybe I should have stopped at the safe 16 oz serving size! My life is flashing before me… All the beverage choices… So many sizes, so many brands… What am I to do???

  187. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#180): Wow — this is positively Whedonesque!

  188. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#186): So basically you’re saying that as someone who needs an authority to tell her when to have babies, how to have babies, how to feel about having babies, and how much liquid she is allowed to drink, Nina is the perfect New Yorker.

  189. Señor Tortilla
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]


    Archie – “Hey, it’s the two guys who never show any interest in girls! …Did I interrupt something?”

    9CL – “That harlot! She has unworthy for me, and since there are apparently no other eligible bachelorettes here, to Aldo’s Ravine it is!”

    FW – “Don’t worry, Summer. A few more laps and that insufferable father of yours will not be able to crack a pun for weeks!”

    GA – “Well, they kinda looked like The Three Stooges, but the schtick was wrong, and Moe looked more like John Kerry in a bowl cut.”

    H&L – Somebody grab some brain bleach for the boy!

    MT – What the HELL is wrong with her chin? That definitely looks like a man’s face.

    S4th – A long time ago, I used to think that Sally Forth was a boring comic strip (yes, even after Francesco took over in ’99). Today, I tend to gloss over it, but it is clear that there is definitely something.

    FC – You know, I was going to comment on it, but then I found out at least two of you had the same idea. Way to go, high fives all around!

  190. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#174): “The Time, the Placenta and the Girl” sounds like a kickin’ title for Shurlock’s latest opus.

  191. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#24): So this is Summer and Les’s new theme song?

  192. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#24): So this is Summer and Les’ new theme song?

  193. My amazing hoo-hoo
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    A3G: How was I to know it would happen so soon? I watched the quintessential documentary on pregnancy: Season 9 of “Friends”. It took a little over a year.

    I need 5 wisecracking sidekicks – fast!

  194. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Harold (#145): Snuffy gave up one of his eyes to drink from the Well of Mimir, but in turn gained great knowledge. ALL HAIL SNUFFY THE ALL-SEEING ONE!!!

  195. sully
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Not that there’s any point to trying to make sense of the B.C. strip, but I think the bear is holding a crude primitive hammer, because he used it to pound the foreclosure sign into the ground. Now, as bears lack opposable thumbs, he wouldn’t have been able to grip the hammer anyway, but we are talking about B.C. here, so any further analysis would be pointless, and result in a nasty headache.

  196. Chip Whittle
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#184):

    The new creative team at “Dick Tracy” should be proud they have fans who can connect the dots like you do.

    You’re kind, but I wasn’t sharp enough to connect these dots. I found it from reading “Today’s Sunday Funnies” by D.D.Degg over in rec.arts.comics.strips. I don’t know if he or she make the connection or is passing it on from somewhere else.

  197. Johnny Knuckles
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    B.C. Don’t fret about the prehistoric tool-wielding bear, Josh. The comic, after all, is B.C. That means the baby Jesus killed off any menacing dinosaurs/Boy Scout ants/and fat broads long ago to make the world safe for us A.D.ers.

  198. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#180): Wow, I’d forgotten all about that. But…the problem isn’t with the execution of this storyline (which has been pretty solid even before you brought that up,) it’s that…it’s just impossible to take this guy seriously. It’s like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth, mincing and cackling and yowling like a drunk aunt (even when he’s not supposed to be acting drunk.) Does his part in the script fit reasonably into the existing story and make pieces fit? Yes. Is it even remotely possible to take him seriously as a threat? Not in the least.

  199. Shrug
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#y211):

    “When Spiderman gets a spider-sense, shouldn’t he be shown with half of Peter Parker’s face? Superman would do the same thing, but showing Clark Kent with half a pair of eyeglasses would just be awkward.”

    They could just show Kent with a monocle. He might look quite debonair.*

    (*Neanderthal Latin for “a prat”)

  200. Shrug
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#y2):

    “The guy behind you is obviously in a hurry to make his purchases and get back out to the woods so he can take care of that wildlife journalist he’s got tied up to a tree!”

    The tree is very poplar in the community.

  201. Baka Gaijin
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Aaah, now Clown-9′s allergy to artificial spiderweb pays off. Many people get anaphylactic, Clowny gets all inflamed.

    Am I the only one who noticed Hammy (Over the Hedge) is “presenting” today?

  202. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#182):

    “Amos shouldn’t be in possession of such a small object in the first place since, for anyone of his mental and emotional development it could prove to be a choking hazard.”

    It would be more likely that Amos’ small object would be a choking hazard to Edda, and her lack of mental and emotional development. And in this case, the lack of size actually makes it less likely that she will choke on it.

    And if it was any bigger, then maybe Edda wouldn’t have to close her eyes and think about Seth while he gave it to her.

  203. My overactive hoo-hoo
    June 18th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    SM: Is Spiderman holding the ripped shreds of Clown-9′s outfit? Can Clowny have any tricks left?

    Is it too late for him to start miming an impeneterable wall? Probably, since he’d have to shut up for a minute.

  204. Chance
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#14): Most apt Producers reference ever.

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#111): Can we work Manny, Moe and Jack, “The Three Pep Boy Stooges” from Gasoline Alley into your story as well?

    I know! I know! The only part of Seth that survives his self-immolation is his peener, which is discovered by Manny, Moe and Jack at the bottom of a very tall cliff. The three rush the precious — and prodigious — body part over to Gasoline Alley General (or GAG) Hospital, where it’s needed for Patient X.

    Patient X (a/k/a Slim Skinner) is desperately in need of a transplant after losing his own peener in an accident arranged by his wife Cloverine and Russian bush pilot Mikel Harrisov. But while the transplant is ultimately successful, Slim starts hanging out at fern bars and wearing assless chaps around the garage.

    It’s like “The Hands of Orlac” without the hands…

  206. My action-packed hoo-hoo
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#13): … and grinding. Don’t forget about bee-grinding.

  207. endless sky
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    BC: I must admit that I had totally missed the presence of the bear until I read Josh’s commentary. I had thought the strip was just about forgetful bees, not realizing that I was missing the subtle complexity of symbolism. I really need to be more observant. Maybe that’s why I almost stepped on a snake last week.

  208. SurrealKangaroo
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I am not going to lie. Today’s Barney Google made me LOL. Probably for all the wrong reasons though.

  209. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    FW-Your dad will be in top shape for when he falls off the mountain he will still be recognizable.

    A3G-So the stomach flu can feel like a little person wanting to escape your body. That is amazing. I will need to remember that the next time I have the stomach flu. The last time I had the stomach flu I thought I was in labor and went to the hospital which is funny since I am a guy.

  210. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    About the Houston Chronicle’s comics links:

    My guess is that they don’t make the comics available until after the print edition ships. So, it may be later in the day before the current comics are accessible.

    The thing is that unlike other sites that makes it seem like no comics are available at all. It makes it look like you can’t even see ones from prior days. Which is not good because I don’ t believe the paper’s site runs Sunday comics. So, from some point on Saturday until sometime Monday morning, it looks like the page is broken.

    However, under the current date is a link to <<<Previous Date.

    It is just bad for users. But, hey. It is different rather than using the syndicate’s branding and interface. So, to the site’s editors it probably seems like it works like a charm. It doesn’t.

  211. twg
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Haha, I hate Amos.


    MT: Good to know that absolutely no part of this plot is making sense, yet again. Wouldn’t want to have a storyline that gets confused with logic, after all.

  212. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    I think I “get” the B.C. comic.

    Pardon me if someone already explained it.

    The bear has the hammer because he definitely put up the sign.
    Now, he is gleeful about preventing the bees from entering their honey home.
    My guess is that he expected regular compensation from the bees in the form of honey. They “missed a payment” hence the bear is taking action. So, like Josh mentioned, the bear is “the bank”.

    Obviously, the dang bear could have just taken the dang hive and indulged in the gooey sweet center. But, he’s kind of masochistic about it.

    It is stupid, of course. Because something that could be foreclosed and “locked up” would not be easily moved, it would be repossessed.

    Now how the bees owe the bear anything is beyond all reason. The very idea he owns tools is cartoonishly farfetched. That’s fine. But, the notion that he owns a tree is just fascist.

  213. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212):

    He clearly claimed the tree by leaving claw marks in the bark and urine odors on the path leading up to it. He has an airtight case. His attorney told him that if he wants to establish his claim and become popular in the community, he just has to Mark his Trail.

  214. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#209): It’s amazing how educational the comics can be, isn’t it?

  215. Walker of Dog
    June 18th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    To the deconstructors of B.C.: are we sure that thing the bear is holding is even a hammer? I’m no expert on ursine genitalia, but maybe he’s just really into distressed property.

    @My overactive hoo-hoo (#203):

    Can Clowny have any tricks left?

    Would you believe an pack of menacing balloon animals?

  216. Santa Royale With Cheese
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @twg (#211): Tom Gammill…? (re: screen name)

  217. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#213):

    He clearly claimed the tree by leaving claw marks in the bark and urine odors on the path leading up to it. He has an airtight case. His attorney told him that if he wants to establish his claim and become popular in the community, he just has to Mark his Trail.

    I disagree. In the judiciary system, evidence is always about documentation. This was made famous in the legal dictum: “Si potest non videre gummi charta, te non ius,” or as we more commonly know it, “If no gum wrapper is in sight, you don’t have the right.” [*]

  218. yaoi huntress earth
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#81): He’s artistic, he kisses Edda’s butt and Edda claims he has a big wang. That and he’s Brooke’s author-avatar along with Elliot, Geoff…

  219. Jason D.
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Clearly, a strip from 20-ish years ago. Dilton would have just taken the picture on his smart phone, otherwise.

    JP: In panel one, we see Torgo, frustrated with his current position as henchman for The Master, attempting to ask horror icon Vincent Price for a civil service job.

  220. Baka Gaijin
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @My overactive hoo-hoo (#203): Spidey’s self esteem takes a dive when, through his tattered boxer-briefs, he sees Clown-9′s hung like an elephant’s trunk…and it’s prehensile, too!

  221. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    I wish to gloat.

    I was just at the local used bookstore, and scored a copy of “Zippy Stories”, Bill Griffith’s first Zippy the Pinhead collection, first printing 1981, very good condition. $3.03, including tax.

    Gloat. Gloat. Gloat.

  222. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): Does it explain the origin of Zippy god?

  223. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

  224. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#174):

    Perhaps Margo, will just settle for the placenta.

    Huh. And I thought Margo craved the blood of virgins, exclusively.

    @My overactive hoo-hoo (#203):

    Is it too late for him to start miming an impeneterable wall?

    Such a gambit would likely succeed, especially if Clown-9 shows the wall to be a an airtight box and mimics the effects of asphyxiation. Spider-Pete would probably start attacking the audience screaming “NO ONE DIES TODAY!” in an effort to find the evil telekinetic — until MJ throws her shoe at Clown-9, knocking him out. Then Peter will be all, “Clown-9 must have been the evil telekinetic, and he tried to suffocate himself to distract me!”

    @Walker of Dog (#215):

    Would you believe an pack of menacing balloon animals?

    Wow. You just improved the strip by a factor of six-grillion by casting Don Adams as Clown-9.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): Great find! That is really the Alpha-and-Omega of Zippy collections, it’s got whimsy, weirdness, raunch, and not a little meanness. The commedia dell’arte story is probably my favorite in there. I don’t know exactly when, but some time in the 90s Griffith began those early stories as well as stories from the early dailies, and anymore Zippy is about as edgy as warmed-over ice cream cake.

  225. Baka Gaijin
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): High on the hill
    Was a lonely gloatherd,
    Lay-ee o-de-lay o-de-lay he hoo…

  226. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212), @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#213): It’s a Soviet-era bear holding the old communist hammer and sickle*. Evidently, the Cold War is still being fought in B.C.

    *Mastroianni, unfortunately, flunked “Sickle Drawing 101″!

  227. My fantastic hoo-hoo
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212): Maybe BC refers to the foreclosure scandal of about a year ago, where the banks were prematurely foreclosing on houses, which in some cases, they didn’t own.

    Bees are industrious creatures, and would rarely miss a payment. To make a payment and forget that you made it would be very implausible. And in the case of foreclosure-gate, the bear doesn’t own the hive.

    And to think that this smirking, prehistoric bear-like-creature will be the great ancestor of upstanding notables such as Sugar Bear, Smokey and Winnie-the-Pooh. Shameful.

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#224): It is so good! Was just reading the Hearst Castle story. Griffith came in towards the end of the golden age of underground comics, but at his best, he’s as good as any of them.

  229. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#225): True Flable knows about gloats.

  230. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): Your gloateus maximus is already the size of Brooke McEldowney’s ego. Unless you stop exercising it so much, you’ll pop like one of Clown-9′s balloons.

  231. My skeptical hoo-hoo
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    I think so much attention is being given to the stone hammer in BC because the plastic “Bank Owned” “Foreclosed” tape is obviously machine made. The squared post and squared sign were cut with milling saws and nailed together with metal nails. Yet, the skulking bear has an ancient and badly constructed stone hammer. It’s out of place. I think this is taking place outside in a field near you today. Which, of course flies in the face of the entire BC/AD premise.

    But over in the Walker / Browne world, Hagar is negotiating with Huns, who didn’t live in his era nor in his part of the world. A one minute cursory search on Wikipedia could come up with a few armies that Vikings actually did fight, but eh, write something vaguely humor-sounding and quit for the day. No one will ever notice the difference.

  232. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#228): Ooops … typo in my comment “somewhere in the 90s, Griffith began to recycle those early stories…” but you got my point. I don’t have my copy in front of me so I don’t know the title, but there’s one story that’s composed of dialogue-free panels of Zippy engaged in various inscrutable activities. I used to teach my literature students about story structure by taking the panels out of order and having them put them back into order.

  233. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#232): That would seem to be the sequence “Zip Code” which starts out on the Staten Island ferry, and ends with him and the Flintstones checking in to a Holiday Inn.

  234. Señor Tortilla
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    I don’t like Zippy the Pinhead. I can’t even say if I disagree or agree with it, since most of the time it makes no sense.

  235. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#233): That’s the one!

  236. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @My fantastic hoo-hoo (#227):

    Admittedly, I give up trying to understand it.

    All that I can note with any degree of certainty is that the furry woodland creature is bear-ly visible.

    The End………

    ^Clumsy segue…. I’m not sure if Jay Ward did this or which studio did, but, here’s an actual Sugar Bear short. It is not a commercial, per se. It has a story and runs about 4 minutes.

  237. Der Schnärkïnätör
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Jason D. (#219):

    Archie: Clearly, a strip from 20-ish years ago. Dilton would have just taken the picture on his smart phone, otherwise.

    Even if this was from 20 or so years ago, it would not been a big deal to expose the print. The film would have needed to be developed and fixed before he could make a print. If the print was prematurely exposed to light, he’d just need to print another one, and the film would have been fine.

    Anybody that’s worked with film would have know this, especially 20 years ago.

    Granted, more and more people now have never shot on film, but that’s beside the point.

  238. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#234): He frightens me. Baka has his clowns. I have Zippy. [*]

  239. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 18th, 2012 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    BC: I think we’ve been missing a vital clue here. The one bee is saying, “You missed another payment, didn’t you?” This indicates that at least one payment has already been missed. So then the bear is, uh…

    Well, the hammer thing is, uh…

    So that would mean, uh…

    Yeah, that really doesn’t help, does it?

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#234): @Frank Lee Meidere (#238): Zippy doesn’t make sense in any normal way, certainly not as a real world narrative. Obviously, it is not intended to. Think of it as illustrated dream sequences. They may be well done, or not; funny, or disturbing, or seemingly pointless. They are certainly not intended to be taken or judged as a real world story, like Rex Morgan, or as one-off jokes (like Barney Google?).

    I think most people will concede that Griffith’s art, his drawing, is top-notch. I find him very funny often, and sometimes disturbing, but always worth looking at. Griffith is a real artist, not a hack like , (insert name here). He’s not everybody’ c. of tea, naturally. He’s also pushing seventy, and is still doing amazing work, daily.

  241. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-”The jokes on them though, I’m still alive.”

    Spiderman-If Hardy Laurel put this much effort into his jokes as his revenge scheme then they wouldn’t have fired him.

  242. Cichla Vazzoleri
    June 18th, 2012 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#241):

    If Hardy Laurel put this much effort into his jokes…

    Or, you know, learning his lines as scripted. But yeah, something tells me he had a plan for vengeance first and then went out looking for something on which to exact it. If he hadn’t been fired, it would have been the bad reviews. If it he somehow got good reviews, it would’ve been his lack of adoring fans. If he magically developed a fan-base, it would’ve been the fact fact that other fandoms exist. If not fandoms, then that jerk Peter Parker who somehow always knows when he’s putting the moves on MJ.

    The dude is a ticking time bomb in sore need of having his clock cleaned.

  243. DearZeus
    June 18th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Apparently Les sweat out all the color from his headband except that tiny spot out in front, making him seem like the most pathetic karate kid of all.

    Meanwhile, Nina has now forced the 3G artist to draw partial legs. I only hope this doesn’t inspire him to draw out Nina confusedly giving birth in the taxi because she saw it once in a movie and though all babies were born in taxis.

  244. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#238): YOW!

    (Zippy for BOO!)

  245. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @DearZeus (#243): All babies are born in taxis, silly. In New York City, anyway. That’s why the city restricts the number of taxi medallions they issue, lest the population explode and rents skyrocket.

  246. Dr. Weird
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]


    For those naysayers as to the threatening nature of Clown 9′s a villain whose motif depends on inflating like a balloon has been done before. And better. Squadron Supreme was a great book.

  247. Dr. Weird
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Bleh, previewed the HTML but not the content… “Clown 9, a villain…”

  248. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#230): Does this fantastic new book I got for a pittance make my gloats look big? It does?

    So be it! Look upon my gloats, ye mighty, and despair!

  249. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#248): You need a pair of assless gloats.

  250. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#249): If you got ‘em, flaunt ‘em.

  251. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    The balloon suit trick should not have come as a surprise. To Spiderman, of course it would catch him off guard.

    Ignoring the fact that this balloon suit was made of stronger material than Spiderman*, we should remember that before the absurdist water gun was used, he foiled the usher’s attempt to apprehend him by releasing Clown-9 balloon decoys, mini-hims (pun intended).

    So, he’s got a lot of tricks in his pants that blow up. Watch out, Spidey! Beware of Clown-9’s balls: they are huge!

    * (which spellcheck is okay with, by the way)

  252. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#251):


    I was so caught up in the spellcheck I overlooked the fact that I intended to write “Spiderman’s webbing”.


  253. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#250): I’m glad we’re not using cameras on this blog.

  254. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#246): Bouncing Boy, a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, has the ability to inflate himself like a beach ball — and he’s been around since 1961.

  255. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#254):

    Yeah. At first, I thought that was him. Same haircut, a little chubby and he’s got bouncing ball power.

  256. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): Good going, man. I got that when it came out. I remember first reading the Commedia dell’arte story in Arcade, while we were rehearsing “Ten Little Indians” at the Knights of Columbus hall.

  257. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

  258. The Ridger
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Cichla Vazzoleri (#17): Arizona Central ( has most things – not 9CL or Luann – and Washington Post does too. Gocomics has the missing ones.

  259. True Fable
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday’s Judge Parker was a dull exercise in chatter about a mundane little grease spot on the map, and today’s was no better. Hell, Woody: if I wanted to see a comic strip about Greater Metropolitan Roopville, I’d get back to writing and drawing Just Peachy.

  260. 150
    June 18th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Hey, you know a great way to die in childbirth? NOT KNOWING A SINGLE THING ABOUT IT. Way to self-fulfill a prophecy, Nina!

  261. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    Zippy’s Bill Griffith has some great advice for cartoonists here. From a speech he gave in 2008. Forty theses in all, but you should read #40 first.

  262. dillio
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry to be the one to say this but there’s something in Loweezy’s posture and expression that suggests intense arousal at Snuffy’s condition. Does she have some sick interest in that vacant eye socket?

  263. Alfred E. Neuman
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G— Poor Nina. She’s worked for months to perfect her Clown 9 exploding body act, and now no one is there to see her performance.

  264. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#263):

    Now, now. Don’t even suggest that.


    She transforms into Mary Worth’s Nola Whatshername, the Mighty Morphin’ Power Hussy. That would be sublime.

    Nola would straighten up the girls from Apartment 3G by keeping them on their toes.

  265. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of the three ladies from A3G, whatever happened to the one who found her biological mother?

    Now that I mention it, where are the other two? The story of Scott Moneybags and Mystery of Womb has not said much about what Margo and Tommie are doing since they were last shown, cyberstalking someone.

  266. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#264): Nola would straighten up the girls from Apartment 3G by keeping them on their toes.

    Training them all to be ballerinas, like Edda!

  267. tallyHO
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Scudder (#266)

    Toe-cheé, mon frere!

  268. seismic-2
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221):

    I wish to gloat.

    Gloat. Gloat. Gloat.

    Watch out. You’re starting to intrude into Mary Worth’s turf!

  269. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Thank god Nina isn’t using the bathroom. She would think that is one of the worst bowel movements she ever had and then flush the baby down the toliet.

  270. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#265):

    The one who found her biological mother has gone home to rub it in her family’s face. Tommie is avoiding Dan Diller’s constant demand for music. Margo is probably starting something new designed to attract attention to Margo.

  271. Liam
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Nina, you have two choices at this point. You can either let the infant escape your body or you can try to keep it in there. I must warn you though if you try to keep it in it will try to escape some other way.

  272. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#261): Wow, this is good stuff. How is it that the guy who wrote this produces Zippy?

  273. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#267): Just trying to keep things en pointe.

  274. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#272): Review point #40, again please.

  275. seismic-2
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    B.C: Let’s see – we are supposed to accept the concept that a bear takes over a real estate property that he doesn’t own, in a tree. Gee, do you think that just maybe they’ve completely run out of ideas?

    Does a bear squat in the woods?

  276. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#274): Ok, that was a little opaque. Two answers: 1. Griffith feels no particular obligation to follow his own advice (like most of us). 2. He may be a lot better than you think he is.

  277. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#275): “Does a bear squat in the woods?”

    Does the Pope use Charmin™?

  278. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    DtM -

    In heaven there are no beets,
    That’s why they’re such a treat,
    And when we are laid out neat,
    Someone else will be eating all the beets!

    In heaven there are no greens,
    So we eat them and say they’re keen,
    And when we have left this scene,
    Someone else will be eating all the greens!

    In heaven there are no peas,
    That’s why we say “peas please!”
    And when we are all de-ceased,
    Someone else will be eating all the peas!

  279. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#278):
    In heaven there is no spinach,
    To eat it here is a privilege,
    Because when we’re part of the tillage,
    Some one else will be eating the spinach!

  280. Alfred E. Neuman
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe that with two exploding bodies in today’s strips (Clown 9′s and Nina’s), no one has yet mentioned Mr. Creosote.

  281. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#278):
    In heaven there is no haggis,
    That’s why eating it here is such bliss,
    When we die from some fatal illness,
    Some one else will be eating the haggis!

  282. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS – On the plus side, somebody did promise to fix Snuffy’s little red wagon.

  283. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#281): Oh, I get it. You’re the kind of vegetarian who counts haggis as a vegetable. It’s a clever move, because if you can eat haggis you can eat anything.

  284. seismic-2
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#278):
    In heaven there is no artichoke
    So when we overeat, as a party joke,
    And once we’re way too farty, croak,
    Some one else will be eating the artichoke!

  285. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#16): (BC) In Russia, bears bait you!

  286. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#280): Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#281): Are you still gloating? That’s quite alright, you know. Just don’t be smug about it. Yes, don’t be smug and don’t smirk. Gloat is okay. Smugness and smirking is not okay. Gloat, yes. Smug and smirk, no. Gloating is fine so long as you are not smug with a smirk. Oh, and no dressing up as a clown. Gloat, si. Clown drag, no. So in summation, gloating is permissible so long as smuging, smirking and being attired as a clown does not accompany the gloat. I think that covers it. Thank you for your patience.

    Oh, no naked bungee jumping as well. It scares the unicorns.

  287. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#284):
    In heaven there is no asparagus,
    I guess that’s really not so hilarious,
    And when are gone, you’ll disparage us,
    And someone else will be eating the asparagus!

  288. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#278):
    In heaven there is no scrod,
    But we eat it in Boston, by God!
    And when we lie ‘neath the clods,
    Some one else will be eating the scrod!

    Damn it, Lateral Pencil Guy, why did you have to start this!

  289. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#102): Bring along some nickels. I was standing in line at the post office and I heard somebody say the weather needs change for a dime. Or something like that.

  290. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

  291. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#283):
    In heaven there is no kale
    That’s why we eat it by the bale,
    And when we are dead as a door nail,
    Some one else…

    No, I just can’t do it.

  292. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

  293. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#288):
    We feel that in heaven there is no snark.
    We do it here just as a lark.
    But when our bodies are long and gone;
    We’ll find that heaven was snarking us all along

    How ironic.

  294. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#146): Thank you! And of course to be fair, I should have added that bald-faced hornets prey on a lot of insects that humans consider pests, and abandoned hornet nests are so beautiful that they are often brought indoors and displayed, and mostly the hornets mind their own business unless some fool tries to knock down an active nest with a broomstick or perhaps a few entomology students approach a nest with nets to try to nab a few hornets for their required class collections. *cough*

  295. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#142): I like it!

  296. Poteet
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#205): Works for me!

  297. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#280): That scene always makes my head asplode:

  298. Peanut Gallery
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#170): DT – The worst part of this Mr. Crime scenario is that I started thinking about the practical problems of running a crime syndicate anonymously over the Internet. How can Mr. Crime prove to his subordinates that his orders are coming from the real Mr. Crime? It’s easy enough to fake a sender’s email address. Does Mr. Crime have a VeriSign certificate?

    More to the point, why should Blaze believe this guy’s claim that he’s the real Mr. Crime?

  299. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#291): Something something Alan Hale?

  300. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#298): Maybe Panda is just one of his buddies from rec.arts.comics.

  301. calhobbes
    June 18th, 2012 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    There was a guy in Canada today who, while wearing a Spider-Man suit, rappelled down the side of a building very, very slowly. He managed to be more heroic than newspaper Spidey. It’s on Youtube under “National Post’s Spider-Man Does What a Spider Can, Slowly”.

  302. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#298): Interestingly enough, Mr. Crime was a long-running comic book character in the 1940s and 1950s:

  303. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    In heaven, there is no tofu,
    That’s why we eat it until we spew,
    Eventually we all must say adieu,
    And others will eat our tofu.

  304. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#299): No, I’m pretty sure it was something lingering, with boiling oil.

  305. Spode
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    In heaven, thar ain’t no okrie,
    This rhyme, it ain’t no trochee,
    I’m jus’ an ignernt Okie,
    Pickled like my okrie.

  306. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#286): Naturally I shall gloat quietly, but sincerely, indeed, if I may say so, humbly, with all the sangfroid and dignity one would expect from a man of my age and ecclesiastical station.

    // (gloat, gloat, gloat…)

  307. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#306): You sir, are a gentleman gloater. I tip my hat and raise my glass to you.

  308. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    In heaven they haven’t any squid,
    But I wouldn’t much care if they did,
    ‘Cause when they nail down my coffin lid,
    Just help yourself to the squid.

  309. Joe Btfsplk
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy – Is cleaning a clock an activity significant enough to merit scheduling as a chore, like shingling the roof, or mucking out the pigsty? I’d think that would be more along the lines of giving the clock a quick swish with the duster as you walk by, or a wipe with a damp rag at most.

    And what’s with the clocks, plural? I’m surprised the Smif household has even one such advanced mechanical device in it, let alone so many of them that cleaning them all is a day’s work.

  310. Sequitur
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#308): Tales of the calamari.

  311. yaoi huntress earth
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    9CWL: Does anyone else think this is going to end up something like “The Fountainhead” where the main character puts the snooty girl in her place via “rough sex” and she loves him for it?

  312. Borborygmy
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#303): Now that’s a lovely image…

  313. commodorejohn
    June 18th, 2012 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#311): Oh. Oh. I’m trying to decide which option would be more nauseating.

  314. Droopy Says
    June 19th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Spiderzero: At least we were spared any “Pull my finger” jokes.

    Creepy Les: No, old people don’t act like that. The guy in the wheel chair would have said “Talk to him? At my age I don’t have time to throw away like that!”

    Family Circus: No, Billy, but with the way all the sugar has rotted your teeth you could have a partial.

    Mock Trail: “Survivor,” the way it should be.

    Flatulence Alley: Slim is not as “bad” as the Three Stooges, but he is as big as they are. And since Slim seems even blubberier than before, I think I know how they vanished. I now await Poteet’s discourse on why single snakes don’t have families.

  315. CanuckDownSouth
    June 19th, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Dawn can only cope with one thing at a time, Wilbur! Can’t you see she’s reading Person, the magazine for those too bland to even handle plurals?

    Now I’m going to go crawl into a little ball and rage at A3G’s portrayal of women in labour as helpless and paralyzed. I mean really – a sister-in-law had time to make a freakin’ lasagna while timing her contractions before they were frequent enough to go to the hospital! And Nina can’t walk out the front door to get help??

  316. greghousesgf
    June 19th, 2012 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Sherman’s Lagoon: A mood ring joke? in 2012????

  317. Sgt. Stoned
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    MT: The gum wrapper “evidence” should be a useless wad of mush by now. At least it would be in the real world. But in the MarkTrailiverse it is no doubt in pristine condition, fingerprints still legible.

    Archie: Ha-Ha. Dilton still uses a old-fashioned film camera!

  318. tallyHO
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about you guys by I’m rooting for Clown-9.

    This despite the fact that he could probably be beaten by The Inferior Five.

  319. tallyHO
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about you guys but I’m not rooting for Snuffy and Lukey.

    This despite the fact that Snuffy’s Snuffstafarian leanings.

  320. commodorejohn
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#315): Well, remember that this has been going on all freakin’ afternoon and Nina’s been all “GEE, WONDER WHY I FEEL SO WEIRD.” Maybe this is when it finally actually starts to get serious, and she’s just been too dense to catch on until now.

  321. tallyHO
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail, that duck is going places! Hop on board fly away!
    A single prop plane won’t catch up to a giant duck!

    And, an airborne Land Aquaman fulfills his destiny to conquer all of the elements

    (except plausible and interesting storytelling. oh well, you can’t win ‘em all, right, Rusty?)

    //okay. Spellcheck is copacetic with “Spiderman” but it just gets snippety with “Aquaman”. Even spellcheck gives him no respect. So it goes….

  322. tallyHO
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    Finally, Mary Worth is still not in the strip.
    Finally, this Wilbur chap is going to utilize that purple straightjacket on his despondent, slacker offspring.
    Finally, g’night, Gracie!

  323. Steve
    June 19th, 2012 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    S-M: Spider-Man attempts to defeat Clown-9 by telling him what he just did.

  324. Baka Gaijin
    June 19th, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    Usually it’s “Pull my finger” to release ass gas. What is MJ pulling on Clownboy to release his finger gas?

  325. bats :[
    June 19th, 2012 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    “No, Billy, even if you’re the only kid in the world who says ‘child’s plate’ rather than ‘happy meal,’ you sanctimonious little snot.”

  326. J.D.
    June 19th, 2012 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    Does Snuffy have… an empty eye socket?? OMG!!!

  327. Mr. O'Malley
    June 19th, 2012 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    A-3G: This is what happens to people who dump their landline.

    RMMD: So if I’m prepared to drop my malpractice suit, perhaps Rex will be will willing to turn over the twenty-five grand to my client …

    MT: Not only on an island — his legs have shrunk!

    FW: Is this a guest appearance from Future Les?

  328. Liam
    June 19th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    MW-Poor Dawn. She can’t afford to read name brand “People” magazine she has to read the generic store brand “Person Magazine” with articles about Z celebrities. Life is brutal.

    MT-You have a gun you can shoot at him. If this how these people are when dealing with Mark Trail then I am surprised that Al Chavez is dead.

  329. Hank Kimball
    June 19th, 2012 at 5:31 am [Reply]

    GT–Her jersey says, “MILF.”

  330. Hank Kimball
    June 19th, 2012 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    That’s funny because she’s a mother.

  331. Borborygmy
    June 19th, 2012 at 6:07 am [Reply]

    @Hank Kimball (#329): That is truly amazing.

  332. John C Fremont
    June 19th, 2012 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    MW – Well I thought Person Magazine was funny. As Sam Elliott once said, made me laugh to beat the band. Parts of it, anyway.

  333. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 19th, 2012 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    Piranha Club — Oy, it’s Ham Rove from “Colbert”!

  334. gleeb
    June 19th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    A&J: It is a grift, isn’t it? They unload the boat, they already unloaded the dilapidated farmhouse, all that’s left will be to unload the greasy spoon and Gus and his young bride and their child will be off, laughing at these suburban marks. Or maybe I’ve read too much Jim Thompson.

    Dick: Well, he’s right about Doubleup being a big one for the anonymous comix-posting. But why make himself vulnerable by telling Blaze that he’s Mr Crime? Does he want an ally against Panda’s eventual revolt? (I mean, would you keep taking orders from a guy like that?)

    ‘bean: You got Crankshaft in your Winkerbean.

  335. AlanofOdenton
    June 19th, 2012 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    GT: If you think the player’s moms were upset with Darby before, wait til they get a good look at her t-shirt. Oh Darby, you have no shame.

  336. JD Rhoades
    June 19th, 2012 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    PHANTOM: A mysterious person has entered my home with clearly violent intent! I better send my young son out into the dark by himself! And with no explanation, as if I’m angry with him for some unnamed transgression he will desperately try to figure out as he wanders, terrified and tearful, in the dark! I am the best father EVER!

  337. My ribald hoo-hoo
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    SM: Wait, doesn’t someone have to pull his finger first?

    So he’s got clothes under his clothes, eight helium clown balloons, springs in his shoes, a hundred gallons of water, and some kind of noxious gas in his glove. None of this was shown when Clown-9 was putting his outfit on. He must be inventing it on the spot, having figured out that he’s a bad guy in a lousy serial. Once knowledge of the meta is acquired, one can employ deus ex machina at will.

  338. My speeding hoo-hoo
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#324): “What’s MJ pulling on?”

    Maybe we should now call him Clown-9″

  339. True Fable
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, Nina bleeds to death in panel two and doesn’t know why.

  340. My speeding hoo-hoo
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @Joe Btfsplk (#309): Snuffy could be cleaning the inside of the clock, which takes most of the day. Take it apart, lubricate the gears, recalibrate the springs and remove any dust accumulated from sitting in a house with rags as walls and God knows what assorted filth on the floor. When your main income is swiping other people’s chickens, precise timing is critical.

  341. Hogenmogen
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    I call bullshit on Clown-9. All his other crap (albeit stretching the bounds of credibility) could in some warped context be part of a clown routine. No clown at a birthday party, circus or rodeo would have a use for a finger full of some kind of spray. They don’t sell that kind of thing at the corner joke shop, and you can’t get it mail order, either.

    Still, it’s nice to see Spidey fail yet again.

  342. Hogenmogen
    June 19th, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    And the biggest kick I got from the comics this morning was RMMD:

    “My mother used to be his patient…. God rest her soul.”

  343. Elk Meadow
    June 19th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: Man, if I were going to Italy, I’d pack just one change of clothing, just to change into in case my seat-mate barfs on me, and buy everything else in Italy.

    Seriously, Wilbur can be the ugly American with his greasy spider legs of a comb-over and his Santa Royal pool party rags, but let’s get Dawn into fashion and out of this strip.

    (Anyone else believe that when they get to Italy, it’s going to look like Santa Royal, right down to the the salmon squares?)

  344. MAJ
    June 20th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Either Maw somehow didn’t notice Snuffy’s condition when he came home last night, or this definitively proves that they don’t sleep together. For the sake of decency and toilets everywhere, I prefer the latter answer.

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