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Thwarted animal love comics

Slylock Fox, 1/6/08

OH, COME ON, SLYLOCK! I can’t make out the solution to this mystery in its small typeface, but I especially can’t make out why the two of you aren’t making out right now. “Prank calls,” indeed. I’m assuming that the only way the usual slack-jawed bunny and bird townsfolk were able to figure out that these sexy, sexy phone calls were coming from Cassandra was through top-secret technology called “caller ID.” Therefore, by my powers of deduction, I come to the conclusion that she wanted to be caught — caught with a full bubble bath and a bunch of scented candles. And who do you bring over? Max. Frickin’ Max. Unbelievable. That’s it, I’m on Team Cassandra! Who’s with me? (Buy the shirt if so, obviously.)

Zits, 1/6/07

I’m not sure if I mentioned it in a blog post, but a few weeks back there was some mild degree of controversy because Zits delved into the darkest, most offensive world of sexually charged street lingo. Specifically, there was a strip that featured Jeremy uttering in the word “sucks” — not in the sense of anybody specifically sucking on anything in particular, but in the general sense of the situation he was in being suboptimal, in the way that teenagers have been doing since at least five years before I was born. Several newspapers actually pulled the strip. Anyway, it baffles me that said word caused a kerfuffle and yet Scott and Borgman walk the streets as free men after foisting this image onto our brains, is what I’m saying.

Apartment 3-G, 1/6/08

“…a little sad and a lot drunk. And a lot asshole, too.”

(P.S. Don’t forget that Comments of the Week now appear on Mondays! So you can go to bed now, is what I’m trying to say.)

140 responses to “Thwarted animal love comics”

  1. Frank Parsnip
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    If only Slylock had busted on in a few minutes later… Indeed!

  2. kingkong
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    and a whole lotta Margo!

  3. Plus a constant
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    Wow, look at that thing in the fourth panel coming out of Alan’s sleeve. A little deformed?

  4. Rigatoni
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    You know, I was a pretty good kid in high school. I mean, I did most of the things my parents asked of me. Jeremy, on the other hand, always seemed to me to be kind of a, well, kind of a dick to his parents. This image, however, of Jeremy shaving his father’s naked back brings his sullenness to a whole new light. I’m thinking, mass murder is in his future.

  5. Uncle Lumpy
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Alas, Slylock can no more get it on without Max than Sam Driver can get it on without Jake Gyllenhaal.

  6. Moon Mullins
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    It looks like Cassandra’s left leg is full of razor stubble. Do cats shave their legs?

  7. Zamboni_Rodeo
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    #2, kingkong:

    Isn’t that a song by AC/DC?

    Can one of you wonderful ‘Mudges help me out with something? I can’t recall the name of, or the URL for, that webcomic that looks like it was done in medieval tapestries. I know there was an ad for it here not too long ago and I should have bookmarked it then, but alas I did not. This is a shame, as I find it monstrously funny (and apparently there’s an ongoing joke about goats, which I imagine Sir Fable would find enjoyable). Please help me find it again!


  8. Rigatoni
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:36 pm [Reply]


    A-3G: Do you think that the reason why Alan is so sad is that he has figured out that they are trapped in a giant snowglobe?

  9. Moss_Moses
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    Why didn’t Rex Morgan bring wonder dog Abbey with them on the fishing trip? Was he concerned she would spoil his pederast shack fun? She would come in handy now considering how intimidating she is to criminals with guns…

  10. bats :[
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    True Fable and others have mentioned Fooby Meredith’s mouth. Perhaps simple genetics can explain it, and also explain some strange behavioral patterns of late:

  11. ltrftp Hedly
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    How does one post a link to prior/previous post from a prior/previous thread?

    I have a rant from the last thread which would be off topic to this thread, but I would still love to hear from some folks on the subject.

    Thanks in advance,

  12. Niall
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Josh: I still bow to the master. The deconstruction of today’s strip was masterful. Weber is playing with us, indeed…

  13. Rusty
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Alan is a little drunk like someone is a little pregnant. I’m afraid it’s balls -to-the-wall inebriation every time Alan hits the bottle.

  14. Big Sims
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Is Toby in panel five of Mary Worth unlatching her face? Removing her Energy Mask? Cracking her neck? Scratching the back of her neck? In fact what are Mary or Toby doing with their hands throughout the entire strip? It’s all so robotic.

    I’m leaning towards Energy Mask.

  15. Jamus The Bartender
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: I’ll tell you all the solution to this mystery. The solution is a certain naughty kitty’s way of “moving on”. Yeah. Just because a guy has sex just ONCE with her sister….hell, it didn’t even mean anything. It wasn’t any good. * sniffs*
    Lemme tell you something Miss High-And-Mighty Thirty-Day-Without-Blow-Badge getting Cassandra Cat. I “fucked” Carla Cat, yeah. But, I MADE LOVE to you.

  16. yellojkt
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday I blogged about getting my back waxed and today I have to look at Walt going dolphin. Before breakfast even. That is some bad karma I got exposed to.

  17. Burning Prairie
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    I love how Margo is shown with her talons sunk deep into Eric’s skull. I’d think that she’s trying to remove part of his brain but I’m thrown off the lovey-dovey little heart around the whole disturbing scene.

  18. Niall
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking more carefully at Cassandra’s expression. She’s thinking really loudly at Sly: “You… brought Max. You ninny.” And Sly is all “What? This is official business!” And Max is all “Oops!” as usual. And probably about to start a fire.

  19. bats :[
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    7. Zamboni_Rodeo: it’s Bayeux Rhythms:

  20. ltrftp Hedly
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    And today on America’s Funniest Videos (don’t ask)
    They are asking for video of men getting waxed.


  21. Niall
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    11. Hedley: each post’s specific URL is linked at the date and time stamp under the post’s byline. Use that as the URL to refer to. Like I just did. :)

  22. yellojkt
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Itrftp Hedley:

    The date under each comment has a unique url that can be linked to using typical html.

  23. kostia
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    If you look at the four versions of “which two scenes are exactly alike” in order as if they were a comic strip, it looks like the dog is afraid to go to sleep because of the impending unwelcome advances of his menacing-grinned master.

    Bob Weber’s a sick man.

  24. Zorba the Geek
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    I think the scene of Steve Carell getting his chest hair waxed in “The 40 Year Old Virgin” pretty much says it all regarding man-waxing.

  25. Len
    January 6th, 2008 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s Dennis the Menace shows the sprat as not particularly menacing — offering to repair Gina’s bicycle?

    When it comes to mischief — not to mention bat-shit insane taste in hats and her inner fantasy world — I am much preferring little Alice Otterloop of “Cul de Sac.” Now here is an imaginative 4 anna half year old! (The Jay North version of Dennis on TV was much older than 4 1/2 years old, and he seems older now in the strip as well.)

  26. Edge
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    3 full bags and they haven’t even covered Walt’s back hair yet?! That’s almost as bad as my first roommate!

  27. commodorejohn
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    #6 Moon Mullins – That’s JPEG artifacting. Cassandra is silkily full-furred, thankyouverymuch.

  28. Poteet
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    ZITS — I wonder what overenthused bodily function will be featured next. The intestinal results of eating contaminated potato salad? Massive sinus emptying? I’m so grateful I didn’t see this strip until well after dinner.

  29. Tom M
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    “Supoptimal” and “kerfuffle” in the same blog? Anyone know how I could find this controversial Zits strip?

  30. ltrftp Hedly
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Niall and ellojkt
    Thanks for the link help.

    The rant is being discussed in the cockpit.
    As I say, it is definitely off topic here on this thread.

    Anyway, I love the I Love Lucy heart at the end of Apt 3G, it is azimuth of what Margo is all about. I mean does she have a heart? Is she even human. Lately she has become boring. I hope it is to lure her prey closer so she can literally rip his heart out.

    Maybe that heart is a propos.

  31. Perky Bird
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox–
    Wow, take a look at that poor cat in the “Your Drawing” section! What’s wrong with that poor beast? I can’t make out that..lump..on its hind end, beneath the tail.

    Is it: a) taking a dump, b) giving birth, or c) suffering from elephantitis of the testicles?

  32. Uncle Lumpy
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    #31 Perky B. –

    I think you mean elephantiasis.

    Elephantitis means “infection of the elephant” — and Weber’s saving that for next week.

  33. Mooncattie
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    SlyF – If Cassandra Cat had been making prank calls all evening, wouldn’t she have burn marks from prolonged exposure to the lit candle by the phone?

    Now the topless mouse, skateboarding into the residence without permission and knocking over a candle and starting a fire…now that’s a prank.

    I need I need to relax more. I’ll go listen to Hearts of Space now.

  34. loudfan
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    Wait a sec — the word “sucks” is still controversial? I got a book for Christmas by Pulitzer Prize winning superstar film critic Roger Ebert called YOUR MOVIE SUCKS. How much more mainstream can you get?

  35. seanfish
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    OK I’m taking bets – how much hot Margo Magee action are we actually going to get to see?

  36. zenvelo
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    #6 and # 27, please, nothing more about shaving the kitty, Cassandra’s slutty enough already.

  37. Garrett
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Slylock Fox – if you read the top “Which two scenes are exactly alike?” as if it’s your standard four-square comic strip, it looks like the dog is either secretly hoping for a little midnight loving, or is plotting to kill the boy while he sleeps.

    Never trust the shifty-eyed dog.

  38. SecretMargo
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Love is…a heart-shaped box full not of chocolates, but a night of hardcore, no-strings-attached sex with a man about to go off to his probable doom in a foreign land.

    I missed all of you during my vacation, but I think I missed you, Magee, most of all.

    (and you too Josh!)

  39. Spotted HØrse
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    #34 True Fable yesterthread:

    [Elly] can now take O-Cedar Airlines back to her home where she can openly cackle with her tongue rattling out like a party favor. You know she wants to.

    On the floor, rolling my laughing fucking ass off! Hooo!

    Here, True, have some Pillsbury
    Space Food Sticks from my school lunch!

  40. Taber
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone else notice that Garfield seemed to be kissing John’s ass today?

  41. huntingbyrd
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    ohhhh in A-3G Margos swapping spit with eric in a little heart thats pink and……hearty…Oh well leaves me to say this …ewwwwwwww.

  42. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Mark Trail is going to punch the hair out of the Duncan’s trash can. That would so not suck! I’m sorry.

  43. huntingbyrd
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    #40 Taber
    Phew I’m glad I’m not the only one to notice that.

  44. Big Sims
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    #38 Secret Margo

    Sounds kinda hard to cram all that into a box.

    That came out WAY dirtier than I hoped it might.

    I (We? Holla if you missed Secret Margo!) missed you too.

  45. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I can’t believe you didn’t mention the fact that someone in A3G is finally, finally, actually about to have sex!

    Has A3G recently switched artists (or colorists, or somebody significant on the art staff)? I thought that Eric used to have dark hair in the Sunday strips, and that his paler hair in the weekday strips was just the mistake of some colorist unaffiliated with the actual staff and unfamiliar with the specifics of all the characters. Or do the A3G creators not even keep track of their characters that well?

  46. AhClem
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    #33 Mooncattie -

    “Hearts of Space” is still around? It hasn’t been broadcast in this area for at least 10-15 years.

  47. Zamboni_Rodeo
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    #19, bats :[

    Thank you! The link is officially bookmarked.

  48. huntingbyrd
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    #35 seanfish
    I’d say about as far as we got with judge parker but i could be wrong.

  49. Loopina
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Damn. I think Cassandra and Abbey need to get together for some coffee and a good bitch session. Matter of fact, I’ll be there too.

  50. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Welcome back SecretMargo and Happy Kwanzaa New Year! And here i thought “Love Is” all about naked six-year-olds. Live and learn, as Mary would say.

  51. Different Dan
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    When I saw a number of posters talking about Garfield “kissing Jon’s ass”, I assumed they meant it figuratively – that is, that Garfield was offering up insincere compliments or praise for the sake of some personal gain, which would have conflicted with his usual overtly hostile nature. But no. It’s literal, and it’s horrifying.

    6 Moon Mullins: It’s the outline of the bathrobe against her leg that’s causing the effect, I think.

    Josh: Yeah, you mentioned the “sucks” incident before, in this post for Dick Tracy.

  52. SecretMargo
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    44: And yet, Margo makes it look so easy! The more in the box, the merrier! (okay, that was definitely dirty…)

    Also, I feel like Alan’s line should end, “Can’t you tell the difference between ‘strung-out’ and ‘drunk’ yet? Just how long have you been living in New York, anyway?! I can’t believe you actually bought it when I said those marks on my arms were cat scratches! Sam was right, I should have let you die while I had the chance — to put you out of your own misery!! (cough, cough) Say, you got twenty bucks I could borrow?”

    I just feel like they’re not exploring the full potential of having Lu Ann date a junkie, is what I’m trying to say. I guess I’ll have to wait and see if Judge Parker does a better job with Abbey and her methijuana brownie addiction.

    (missed you too, Simsy!)

    (And Red! It’s like The Waltons up in here tonight!)

  53. Citric
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Why is A3-G reminding me of that scene in Goldeneye where the chick kills a man with her legs while they’re doing it?

  54. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Cassandra doesn’t look surprised that Slylock showed up so much as she is pissed that he’s so late. In my own personal continuity, I’m choosing to believe that they’ve got this “she commits a misdemeanor, he solves it” thing worked out to a form of foreplay, and this is just the latest variation. Not gonna think too much about how Max is involved.

  55. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Margo Magee does DVDA. Okay, that was really sick and twisted.

  56. Rhekarid
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Better watch your back, Alan. Margo is the only one in this strip allowed to show any kind of emotion; you just made the list.

  57. SecretMargo
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    55: Orgazmo is fine, fine piece of cinema though, I’ll give you that much.

  58. King Folderol
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    SF – Maybe Max is some kind of weird sex toy. I dunno…help me out here, Slylock.

    Zits – I really, really wanted to vomit after this one.

    Lockhorns – You just can’t win with Leroy. He gets a good meal, and instead of just wolfing it down happily, he’s presaging his own death. Just eat your cow with a smile on your face and be happy it isn’t the usually crapcakes that Loretta apparently has been serving you for the last 34 years.

  59. huntingbyrd
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    #17 Burning Prairie
    I was wondering what she was doing! But what i don’t get is that the heart isn’t pink and theres no border around it either.

  60. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    SecretMargo: Whee doggies, I lost my mind there for a minuet. Thanks for jogging my brain cells for where the hekkie “DVDA” came from!

  61. Ed Power, writer of My Cage
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    Hey all:

    Here’s the announcement for the ‘My Cage’ contests from myspace in case anyone wants to join:

    Hello “My Cage” readers!

    I’m here today to announce to you the first ever “My Cage” contests!!!!

    “ContestS?” You may ask, my consonant observing friend. Yes! ContestS, as in more than one, and more specifically, as in two!

    That’s right! Today we’re announcing our first ever “MY CAGE” WRITING CONTEST and “MY CAGE” FAN ART CONTEST!

    The Prize? The winner of each contest will get to appear in a “My Cage” comic strip! That’s right! You, drawn as the animal of your choice by our very own Melissa Dejesus, will appear in a “My Cage” comic in all its nationally syndicated glory! Plus, you’ll receive a print of that strip autographed by “My Cage” writer Ed Power and “My Cage” Artist Melissa Dejesus!

    How’s that?!?! Pretty cool, right? We thought so!

    Here’s how to enter:

    For the Fan-Art contest: Go to our “My Cage” myspace group (CLICK HERE! ) . Post your artwork, or create a link to it, in the folder marked “My Cage Fan-Art Contest”. All the contest entries must be “My Cage” related! Your original art might be awesome, but we’re looking specifically to see our readers’ take on our characters!

    For the Writing contest: Go to our “My Cage” myspace group (CLICK HERE! ) . In the folder marked “The ‘Why I Like My Cage’ Writing Contest”, post a paragraph (500 words or less) about why you like the comic strip “My Cage”!

    Contests begin January 7, 2008 at 12:01 AM EST and ends on February 10, 2008 at 11:59 PM EST. Both contest entries must be posted before on February 10, 2008 at 11:59 PM EST for consideration.

    We will judge the entries and announce the winners in February, on or before February 29, 2008! We’ll contact winners via their myspace account.

    Other guidelines:

    * This contest is specifically for our myspace fans, so you most be a member of the My Cage comic’s myspace ‘friends’ list (CLICK HERE! ) and/or a member of the “My Cage” comic’s myspace group (CLICK HERE! ) . So, if you want to join the contest, and aren’t on either list, then join up today!

    * You can only enter once and you must be at least 18 years old and a legal resident of the United States. (Sorry to our younger fans! :( )

    * Again, all entries into the Fan-Art contest MUST be related to the “My Cage” comic strip. If you put use original characters, or other existing characters not from the “My Cage” strip, in your entry, then your entry will be disqualified. (Sorry, but it’s a legal/ownership thing.) By entering the contest you also are stating that your entry is original, has not been previously published, and does not infringe upon the intellectual property or other rights of any person.

    * All entries for both contests will be judged based on the following criteria: creativity, originality and humor

    * All contest entries must be G-rated! We have the right in our sole discretion to disqualify any entry we believe to be obscene, offensive or contain inappropriate content or subject matter or that is not consistent with the spirit of these contests.

    * Our decision of who the winners are is final and binding.

    * Friends and family of anyone employed by King Features Syndicate, and cartoonists syndicated by other syndicates are not eligible for entry.

    * By entering this contest you agree to have your image appear in the “My Cage” comic strip, syndicated by King Features Syndicate, and in any publications of that strip. You also agree to have your entry used in any promotions related to the contest and any future printing or publications of that entry without compensation.

    That’s all there is to it! Join our myspace buddies list or group, post your entry in the appropriate folder at our myspace group (CLICK HERE! ) by 11:59 pm EST on February 10, 2008, we’ll announce the winners in February on or before February 29, 2008, and you’ll appear in the strip a few months later!

    Good luck!

    -Ed Power and Melissa Dejesus
    The “My Cage” creative team

  62. Canaduck
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    Okay, in Slylock Fox, I am totally baffled by their crappy multiple choice question regarding the candles. What percentage of candles are bought by women? Who cares? Well, nobody until I realized I couldn’t figure out what the hell the answer was. What letter IS that?

  63. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Ed and Mel: I am going to represent myself as “Tomcat Lee Jones”. Just give me a few days to prep.

  64. Just_human
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    I have a hard time finding Sunday comics online. doesn’t have everything (like Slylock) and Chron – you can only find Sundays of “color comics”, and even then, you have the manipulate the url.

    Can anyone point me in the right direction, please?

  65. Big Sims
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Red, Secret Margo
    I saw Orgazmo many moons ago – I can’t remember what the “DVDA” was.

    Waltons indeed, pishaw…

  66. Red Greenback
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    Just_human: Go to aisle 9, right across from the 3/4″ plastic bivalve sprockets.

  67. kitty
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    I’d be driven to drink too, if I had to deal with Lu Ann’s ironic self-congratulation at random moments. “My paintings look wonderful!… Gee, I have a sparkling wit!… Tammy Wynette’s hair is so hot on me!”

  68. Red Greenback
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    SecretMargo: Should we let Big Sims know what DVDA means? Aw carps! It means double vaginal/ double anal. I need to shower in Lava™ now.

  69. Big Sims
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    E-gads! I mean to say – Zounds! Lawd-a-Mercy!
    That’ll keep me from asking questions about T Parker films!

    I guess if you knew that – DVDA – you’re really a ‘Plugger’.

    My turn for the brain bleach.

  70. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    @ #37: Garrett:

    I think you’re right about not trusting the shifty-eyed dog: that’s probably why the kid sleeps with a baseball bat close to hand!

    However, why does he have what seems to some sort of dipper or pot right under his bed? Does his family not have indoor plumbing?

  71. Mik Holmes
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    This has to be the least worksafe comment thread I’ve ever seen here.

  72. Big Sims
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    And I’m at work right now!

  73. RaB
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    So…Walt Zits is the cook in Ziggy’s favorite all-you-can-eat hash house?

  74. Mooncattie
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    #46 AhClem – Yes, HOS is still going strong. I listen to it via the websites for radio stations WFIU and WMUK.
    Safe journey Space Fans, wherever you are!

    (and now, to the Monday funnies)

  75. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Oh, and btw, bats:[: I think you hit it on the head with your prior-thread catch on the Turkish Van.
    I mean, put a wig on this one , and it’s Cassandra! Shifty look and all!

  76. Luban
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    #29 Tom M: The offending “Zits” strip appeared on Nov. 27. Newspapers were warned in advance, probably because the strip went through a similar “sucks” brouhaha in 2003.

  77. Jim
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    PBS: Wonderfully absurd, yet now I cannot get the word “remora” out of my head. Damn you, Pastis!

  78. Lindsey
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    As for Zits getting in trouble because Jeremy used the word “sucks,” I have a Zits collection at my house and there was a strip from several years ago where the word “sucks” was used, so it’s not the first time the strip has used it. So why the big fuss now?

  79. Frank Parsnip
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    61 Ed Power: My lord! The opportunity for fan contribution to My Cage has finally happened … if of course having the winners appear as characters is, indeed, a “contribution”! Of course, given my physique and bald spot, I had frankly thought I was being drawn nearly each and every day.

  80. SecretMargo
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    69 [well, that's appropriate...]: HA! If only that’s what “Pluggers” really meant….

    I’m reading Barthes at the moment (as should we all, just past midnight on a Sunday night), and I was struck by the following passage and the explanation it may offer for why some strips work the way they do, and why our enjoyment of them continually essays this frustrated dance between wild anticipation and somnolent ennui (this is also a letter-in-a-bottle to Lynngineering, wherever she may be…)

    So-called ‘erotic’ books…represent not so much the erotic scene as the expectation of it, the preparation for it, its ascent; that is what makes them ‘exciting’; and when the scene occurs, naturally there is disappointment, deflation. In other words, these are books of Desire, not of Pleasure. Or, more mischieviously, they represent Pleasure as seen by psychoanalysis. A like meaning that says, in both instances, that that the whole thing is very disappointing.

    Slylock Fox is an endless parade of such scenes, and that is why it is able to be so endlessly stimulating — it is structurally incapable of satisfying us, which means that it also can never truly disappoint. It is, in the psychoanalytic sense, perverse in the best possible way, an endlessly re-presented chain of fetish objects arrayed like so many phantasmatic, unwearable jewels.

    For Better of For Worse, on the other hand, is perverse in the most dreary way possible. As Lynngineering has shown over and over again, its stubborn adherence to the whims and desires of its creator make it the purest psychoanalytic text in the funny pages, and it is always disappointing, in precisely the way my dead boyfriend Barthes means. Anything even remotely blissful, like sex or romance or fantasy, is cordoned off and patrolled, wrestled to the ground of normativity or ejected out of the frame, while at the same time the characters can’t stop talking about it in absentia — it’ll come after marriage, or it was in the past before the kids, or before the stroke, or before the war… It is a structure of constant, frustrated desire, and the only pure pleasures to be had are those found while eating or excreting — the only blissful acts that actually make onto the page. I’d give up my first-born to escape too, if I were Thérèse.

    I’d say that A3G, RMMD, and Judge Parker lie somewhere in between, too linear to fail to disappoint, yet too weird and schizophrenic not to keep promising yet another stimulating scenario just when all hope seems drowned in the boring nothingness of underwhelming satisfaction. Gil Thorp is the only strip I have trouble working into this analytic framework, probably because its perversity and insanity seem somehow outside psychoanalysis entirely, more like a malfunctioning steam engine or automat than a disintegrating personality.

  81. Frank Parsnip
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    78 Lindsey: Everything’s different ever since 9-11. Valuable swear words used up by careless citizens mean that there are fewer to be used by our brave men and women at the front. Somewhere on the front lines a sergeant is being forced to address a swollen toe in very prissy language because of Zits.

  82. Niall
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    Monday stuff already up

    Curtis – uh, what? Wait, what? Up until the day Ndalia was bit, Ndemi was subsisting through thievery. How and where and when did he stop? Being a single parent automatically stops someone from stealing? WTFery indeed, but not awesome to me.

    BB presents a surreal Monday for once.

    FC: The Snark! It Writes Itself! (TSIWI?)

    Garfield: is once again funny. Wow.

    GT: TSIWI again! “Something’s missing… the artist’s sense of anatomy!”

    H&L: I think Hi is shocked that his son said something actually funny, in a sarcastic way that he himself will never be able to master.

    JP: truck, train, same difference. Do we really want to know Abbey’s erotic dreams? (unanimous answer: “yes, yes we do!”)

    MC: holy shit, I dread that day. Bravo Ed Power, you’ve made a strip about many men’s fears taken shape in a platypus. That’s a feat.

    Phantom: Ah, the much-expected New Adventure! We start with: the officer and the bellhop. But what is “a Bentley Arnage guest”? Sounds like a name, the way they bold it up, but the grammar makes no sense to me. Still, there’s a car coming up – possible action!

    Pluggers: I saw the top of this strip as I scrolled down, and I didn’t want to see the rest at first. Ugh.

    Slylock: Holy crap, a word balloon in a Slylock puzzle! …dan dammit, even Reeky Rat can find himself a mousey but lovely wife! Why can’t I… …what did I just type… oh great, I’m really gone now… time for bed.

  83. Rainbird
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    Monday’s GT What? The A-Train? I had to explain what that mean to Huntingbyrd, but it is an old expression, try 60 years, even for me. Who is he writing this thing for? Or is Mr. 1950s trying to speak 1940s jive to seem retro-cool?

    Makes my head hurt. Please go back to taking photos of strange kids in the rain. That made sense (I used to do that when I was studying photojournalism 25 years ago or so).

  84. Niall
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    First of all, welcome back to SecretMargo!

    61. Ed Power: wow. Alas, as a Canadian, I won’t have a chance. I was already thinking of trying MyCage fan art, and I may still do it, but for my personal enjoyment only then. :) Sounds great as an idea, and good luck with it!

    80. SecretMargo: oh, welcome back indeed!! That is a fascinating essay. And it makes sense. And I wonder how much Bob Weber was amused by it. :)

    sleep time… for real this time!

  85. Bobdog
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Shame on Cassandra for being so careless with her scented candles — leaving one in the middle of the room when a skateboarding rodent could come zooming in at any moment.

    Actually, I suspect that is part of Cassandra’s devious plan to get out of the high interest sub-prime loan she took out to buy her home by having the place be “accidentally” burned down when these two numskulls come barging in.

    This doesn’t explain how she came into possession of the bat phone, though.

  86. Red Greenback
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    NYerCC: I’ve consulted with my collegue Dr. Nelson here, and we think you may have steaming of the clams or severe abalonia or mussel carpenoma. Or it could be a simple case of diverticulitis.

  87. Mars
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    *see long post above*
    As neat as that might sound, any contest that requires me to register with MySpace is not a contest for me. Funk dat.

    Ed Power, are you related to Tyrone Power? Or Nintendo Power?

  88. Rainbird
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    82 Niall Thank you. I was wondering about Curtis as well. I also wondered if the ox kept coming by to nurse the kid, as the father wasn’t about to do it. Another mystery of the ages.

  89. Frank Parsnip
    January 7th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    Which is worse, Cassandra Cat’s couple of possible prank calls… or the conflagration that will occur when Max Mouse’s sloppy skateboarding lights up the parafin now spread all over her wall-to-wall carpet?

    However, Slylock Fox will get his girl… once he stomps out the fire and has Max taken away for attempted arson, he will take some time to comfort Cassandra. You might ask: How is it that the world’s No. 1 animal detective has been called out for a simple prank-call case? Alone and out of chocolate, Cassandra had taken to dialing random numbers and asking for Slylock Fox to “take care of” her. It took only about 4 or 5 phone calls to reach someone within the Slylock Fox comic-universe who knew who Cassandra was looking for and was willing to pass the message along. Probably a couple of wasted calls in there while Cassandra called Count Weirdly and the gorilla guy who steals furniture.

  90. Lord-z
    January 7th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    I think that Max is a first class cockblocker. He probably just follows Shylock around. Shylock had looked forward to a night of hot passion, but, as he arrives, Max suddenly skateboards by. Max knows Shylocks fox-girlfriend, so Shylock has to come up with an excuse, fast. Prank phonecalls might not be optimal, but it works.

  91. K. Ivan Ruppert
    January 7th, 2008 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    Yanno, I bet I know what it is. Max is in love with Slylock and also is insanely jealous. And so, he follows around his “Best Friend” and sabotages the ongoing game of sexual cat-and-mouse that Slylock is playing with her (He blackmails her to bring her to him, she commits laughably minor “Crimes” to get him to come to her, convienently while she’s bathing) so that he can have all six foot of vulpine manliness all to his own six-inch self.

  92. TB Tabby
    January 7th, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    Archie: Svenson is asked if he has a hobby. He says yes, and then he is seen participating in said hobby. Ho, ho.

    F-: I told you the anabolic steroid garnish was a bad idea!

    H&L: Could someone please explain to me why Chip is dressed like Lois?

    RwO: HAH! The dogs have poisoned themselves!

    SFx: When in doubt, make with the furry hotties. I approve.

    And why wasn’t there any Non Sequitur last Sunday? I was really enjoying Ordinary Basil.

  93. Doug Puthoff
    January 7th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    1-7: Ahh, the final chapter of the “Curtis” Kwanzaa weirdfest. The moral of the story seems to be: If you steal, you wife will be bitten by a two-headed viper and turn into a water buffalo, leaving you to raise the baby. Goofy, but it still beats any moral from “Gil Thorp” in the past year.

    Speaking a GT, that strip used the word “Suck” a few weeks back–twice in the same strip. Yeah, even the Pat Boone of newspaper comics uses “Suck.”

  94. Frank Parsnip
    January 7th, 2008 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Fresh from his little visit to Cassandra’s bathroom, Slylock Fox is getting phone calls from Reeky Rat’s wife. “I think he’s going to steal some cash and replace it with fake money,” said Reeky Rat’s wife. “And I think he knows about us.” If Slylock is thinking what I’m thinking, the timing is perfect. He lets Reeky steal the cash, uses Cassandra Cat to do to rats what cats do… and then he and Cassandra will have plenty of money to make “prank” calls to each other.

    Spider-Man: Given how fat the villain has turned out to be, Spider-Man basically gets to beat the crap out of The Plugger. Go-go fat boy!

    Mallard Fillmore: Dag? What short for Dagwood? Dagmar? Are we supposed to assume that this is a “caveman” name? And a weak joke at that. How about this quick re-write: “To quell rumors, Tinsley has assured his supporters that he will definitely be the designated driver when he goes out to booze it up alone at roadhouses around Indiana this year.”

    Sex Organ, M.D.: A mudslide in front and some car headlights in back? And their muddy footprints leading the backrobber right to them if they try to hide? Rex and Niki might just as well use the bullets to shoot themselves.

    MT: Kathy’s role in the whole murder thing has now been clarified. I guess she’ll now have to resume life under the name Sam Hill to fly planes in the lower 48.

    Still no word yet on what Doughboy Steve is going to make of all this hullabaloo, though — releasing Johnny Malotte prior to the “execution” would mean losing a key member of his “Special Ops 1916″ unit intended to go off and fight the Kaiser. If Malotte is let go instead of secretly brought into this elite unit of hardcore killers using the latest “Mills bomb” and Enfield technologies to decapitate the German Imperial leadership, World War I will grind on for years!

    MW: Mary, yes we can learn things from our four-footed friends! If you don’t know how you’re going to feel about this man and Chester, you just go right up to his butt and sniff away.

    Jugs Parker: If Sam Driver doesn’t bend her over the kitchen nook table right now, he’s … aw, forget it! He’s never going to do anything.


    Lu Ann: “You seem…”

    Eric: “A little like a screaming asshole?!? YEAH? WHY DON’T I JUST TAKE IT UP A NOTCH! SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT, BEEEYOTCH!”

    Lu Ann: “… a little cold. Let’s get a hot chocolate over at that stand there.”

    Eric: “Wait, was that my inner monologue or did I just say that?”

  95. Christopher
    January 7th, 2008 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    Monday, Monday.

    Slylock Fox: Wow, Reeky’s wife is surprisingly good-looking and well groomed.

    This strip is actually pretty noirish… Reeky Rat, formerly seen stealing from his neighbors’ garbage, is now convinced he can break into the big time and finally start living the life he deserves.

    His wife, clearly raised in a good, well-to-do family, fell in love with Reeky before he started using meth, and she can’t bring herself to leave him permanently, no matter how much he drags her down.

    Over the years they’ve been together, she’s almost given up hope, but somehow this latest crime has awakened the last remaining embers. Maybe she’s just worried that she’ll be charged as an accomplice, but Reeky’s hopelessly doomed scheme has finally inspired her to really break things off.

    I’m quite certain he abuses her, and considering that he’s probably gotten high as a kite to prepare for the big caper, she better be careful and hang up the phone soon.

    This is going to end with somebody dead, and I just hope Reeky doesn’t take his poor wife down with him.

    Man, that Bob Weber Jr. is dark.

    Non Sequitor: HAH! Take THAT, ice fishermen! Man, I can’t believe he went there. Is nothing sacred to Wiley Miller?

  96. Sophist, FCD
    January 7th, 2008 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    On first glance I thought Max, sick of seeing Cassandra always getting away with her crimes, was planting a bag of pot in her living room.

    I liked my version better.

  97. Tethys
    January 7th, 2008 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    Max has sabotaged Cassandra’s efforts further by tipping burning wax over the carpet. The house will be in flames in minutes. Possibly she’ll cut her losses and score one of the firemen?

  98. Frank Parsnip
    January 7th, 2008 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    I do note that it is “Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids” — Slylock Fox is the part intended for adults, of course.

  99. Myopic Little Despot
    January 7th, 2008 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    Okay, this strip makes it perfectly clear that there is no possible way that Bob Weber doesn’t know about Reynard Noir.

  100. Red Greenback
    January 7th, 2008 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    #80 SecretMargo: It’s like when Carly Simon was singing about catsup ketchup a back in the day, that commercial got me strangely aroused in my groinal area. Anyone else? No? Alright then, I’m special!
    NYerCC: “The good news is we’ve taken you off life support, this is what you would look like if Tom Delay had his way. The bad news is you’re dead.
    #2 NYerCC: We are going to get a nurse in here to up your sleep aid medication, since you still don’t see Abraham Lincoln and a talking beaver.
    Okay, it’s clear I suck at this New Yorker Caption gig.

  101. gleeb
    January 7th, 2008 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    Pigborn: Just when I thought McDowner was going for a record without dialog…

    A3G: You now, I realize you’re going to recap. I don’t like it, but I accept it. But why add insult to injury by calling this “later”? It’s not later, it’s the same time as yesterday!

    Blondie: You see, that’s why they want to freeze out Ron Paul. He’s a dead shot with a squirting buttoniere.

    ‘shaft: You lie! And Batiuk has photographic evidence! Do you still claim that’s the best-packing snow you’ve ever seen? Remember, you’re under oath.

    Parker: You were gone, and so was Sam. He knows a little place down by the waterfront…

    Phantom: She’s a cop! He’s a doorman! Together, I hope they have nothing to do with graffiti!

    Sally: I can understand wanting to stay indoors if your winder coat makes you look like a giant pineapple.

    Slylock: He’s clearly showering. Why call him Reeky?

    (Yeah, I know I said “Pigborn”. That’s the way I read it for months before I realized it wasn’t.)

  102. Red Greenback
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    NYerCC: “We see on your charts that you are a U.S. resident over the age of eighteen, so it looks like you are free to caption”

  103. Squid Countess
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Are Rex and Nikki still on the fishing trip they started so long ago, the “wet your hand before you touch the trout” trip? Good Lord. Nikki’s probably too old now to even interest Rex’s trout. I know I’m bored.

  104. Red Greenback
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Squid Countess: Hi there Squiddly, I missed you! You may be bored, but you are never boring. Love and Peace, Red “ol’ sentimental fuddy-duddy-up all night” Greenback.

  105. Keg of Curd
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Red & Rover: “This is precisely why I wear a helmet and use lots of lube.”

  106. Keg of Curd
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Also, Bizarro made me laugh today.

  107. True Fable
    January 7th, 2008 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    A3G A big jerk? Oh Alan, you are so much more than that. Like…a big asshat.
    BC Ha! Funny Again! You’re spoiling me, Mason, don’t stop.
    BB You’re outta uniform, Bailey! Throw them both in the stockade!
    Curtis The satisfying ending to another Kwanzaa spectacular. Thanks, Ray!
    DtM Machine Gun Mitchell is at it again.
    FC Yep Dolly, that’s pretty much what the postman said yo’ mama was. A Freebie.
    FBoFW I am convinced there are no good strips to flashback to for Lynnie. Even back then, Elly was a narcisstic little attention whore.
    FW You fail, Les. Ask Bull if he can fuckin’ READ yet.
    (DT)GT That last panel freaks me out. We have Dippy McSpitcurl flanked by a Young Jack Webb on one side and a kid with The Sea of Holes cheeks on the other.
    JP WHAT THE HELL?!? Call in that you’re going to be a little late, Sam, and be there in bed when Abbey wakes up! Good GOD, man; what the fuck is WRONG with you?!? Wife is wasted on you, dude.
    Luann Ah, the meltdown of a prima donna begins.
    MT I just love this dialog from Sam Not Sam Hill Wannabe Kathy: “You’re a dear!” You’re a dear; you murdered a man just for meee!
    Marvin The child is obviously referring to the fact that the front room is still neat and clean: he’s falling down on his job as a little terror and he knows it.
    MW So what are you going to do, Mary? Judge the dude (well, of course) and refuse to let him have his own dog back? Pretty damn cocky, aren’t you as you let the dog in question off his leash? Abandonment is 9/10ths of the law!
    RMMD You know, I just assumed all those years of having a Brylcream Head would keep Rex’s hair in place better than Jack Lord’s. Rex looks…almost human!
    The BM of Edison Lee This calls for a “My juvenile delinquent just beat up your honor student” bumper sticker.
    TDIET Sadly, Hekkie still looks bad either way.

  108. prospero
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    I intended to suggest that “It was all going so well until they found this stupid tumor in my head” would be great on a tshirt. Then I saw “You’re a dear.” Where do they get this stuff?

  109. prospero
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    What variety of wack-job names a dog Chester anyway? Festus, maybe. And is Mary Worth so brain-dead she doesn’t know that making a gun wiyh your hand trick has been done to death? Does Chester contain precious stones he just hasn’t pooped yet?

  110. Hubris
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    “I hate long goodbyes…therefore, our imminent lovemaking will be confused, frenzied, and brief.”

  111. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    #111 Hubris

    “I hate long goodbyes…therefore, our imminent lovemaking will be confused, frenzied, and brief.”

    Also known as doin’ it Gil Thorp style.

  112. Comics Bear
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Does anyone else think that Max the Mouse’s skateboard would fail emissions testing in several states?

    Seriously, what exactly is producing the small exhaust clouds? Did Max have lentils that evening?

  113. The Divine O’F
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]


    80 Secret Margo: Holy cow! You’ve made the most inane comics (SF excepted, of course) actually deep! Interesting! Intellectual! As always, your brilliant way with words is awesome.

  114. McManx
    January 7th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    I wish tomorrow’s panel would feature Slylock and Cassandra, sharing the bath AND a Max sandwich — and I don’t mean the threesome type… I mean really slice up the little bastard and eat him type.

  115. dreadedcandiru2
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    #108: True Fable — Not only was she a creepy narcissist even back then, she was also incapable of being satisfied with the world or grateful for a courtesy. She can’t be happy with her surroundings because that would mean that her parents were right when they told her she was going to waste her life making mountains out of molehills. Since she ‘knows’ better than they do, she can’t be content with the world.

  116. lightsyrup
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    80 Secret Margo:
    I second The Divine O’F’s comment. Wow!

    MW: Is Toby’s dialogue so essential that we need to completely block a passerby’s head w/her bubble?

  117. Tweeks_Coffee
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Sunday SFx: (As if I’d let a Cassandra appearance go unmentioned) I like how Cassie looks downright pissed. That and Slylock’s normal wide-eyed stare locked with her says a lot. Dammit, she put a lot of time into this whole setup and he has to bring that damn mouse along. Maybe they’ll be using him for a candle lit dinner?

    Now onto today’s…

    Archie: What is he painting? Or more importantly; what is he painting with? Oatmeal?
    BB: Ah, I see that Sarge and Beetle are into role-playing. “You’re under arrest, Professor Moriarty.” “Oh no, what’re you going to do to me, Sherlock?”
    DT: Oh, screw off, Tracy. Don’t you have a suspected criminal to kill somewhere?
    FC: Anything I could say here would only take away from the gloriousness that Jeff Keane has bestowed on us.
    GA: Isn’t Skeezix approaching 90 by now? Not that he’s on his death bed or anything, but maybe going off on vacation all alone isn’t the best of ideas.
    GT: “Giraffe-neck Gregory, you’re in!”
    H’cliff: Was actually kind of amusing. Not funny mind you, but a huge improvement over normal.
    H&L: I have to wonder exactly why Chip and Lois seem to be wearing the same color shirt. Wouldn’t Chip at least change if he saw that? Or are they starting up their own family band a la The Bradys?
    MT: Oh good, so Sam is off the hook. Plus who knew she was such a raging bitch?
    MW: re#108 – True Fable: “MW So what are you going to do, Mary? Judge the dude (well, of course) and refuse to let him have his own dog back? Pretty damn cocky, aren’t you as you let the dog in question off his leash? Abandonment is 9/10ths of the law!”
    Hate to break it to you, but she’s at a dog park, you’re allowed to let your dog off the leash there. Actually that’s the whole point.
    MG&G: This could be leading to some stellar places.
    MC: Damn you, Ed, you’re spying on me to get your scripts aren’t you? I demand royalties! (Also; I’m totally going to try to get into that contest. I’m gonna have to spend a lot of time practicing with my new tablet, though.)
    Phantom: What kind of doorman calls the guests by the cars they drive? “Good afternoon Toyota Corolla guest, how are you today?”
    RMMD: Why do you have to do anything at all? As Niki already pointed out, you have his freaking gun!
    SFx: Boy, Reeky sure has upgraded since the last time we saw him. He seems to have moved out of his dinky little trailer and into his wife’s house or trailer. Unless his trailer is actually like the TARDIS. Now that would be cool.

  118. Girl Reporter
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Now that she won’t be needing it, Mary must be very happy that she bought that leash the only week that leashes were on sale.

  119. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    OK, after reading today’s (1/7/08) SFox, I just know that Slylock has to be- just has to be – royally pissed at having his bathtime – errr, “interrogation session” with Cassandra interrupted by Max’s clumsy skateboard antics. I mean, in today’s strip he manages to set Reeky Rat up to get busted in a way that will make absolutely sure Reeky will know who sold him out! Callous, Sly, callous.

    I think he should send Max off on an all-night stakeout – at the mousetrap factory – and head back to Cassie’s to “search” for more “clues”: and bring some bath salts with him this time.

  120. ohyes
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    What is Cassandra’s artwork? Is that Snoopy, resting in a dog basket?

    I for one am gratified that in the last week or so we’ve gotten glimpses of nearly every inch of Abby’s exquisite form. Quite the strip-tease show.

  121. Deena in OR
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Off topic-

    For the tablet users out there…I’m considering getting one for my daughter for her sixteenth birthday. (She’s very much a visual arts person…loves the anime and manga.) Any recommendations for an entry level drawing tablet? She is a Windows user with a relatively low-end laptop, and cost is a consideration. Any suggestions will be gratefully considered.

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]


    MF: I’d like to translate this strip into the Neanderthal proto-language and send it back in time so that I can see the cavepeople roll their eyes and go, “Man, that sucks.”

    BB: This busting of Sarge’s nads I enjoy much more than I usually do ZomBeetle.

    MT: “I’m a dear? Oh, that’s just peachy! Listen dollface, I just used my dying breath to keep your ass out of jail, and that’s the kind of condescending thanks I get? So drop your skivvies, I feel like going out with a bang.”

    FW: “Hard to say, Bull. How does it feel for a once promising athlete to turn into a beanbag chair on legs?”

    9CL: Actually the earth’s full title is “A Spike Lee Joint.” The Academy may not recognize his cosmic importance, but alien intelligence does.

    S-M: Peter, like his namesake saint, seems to want to be crucified upside down.

    Archie: Nothing funnier than a member of the toiling classes trying to attain artistic expression. Ha, shake out another broom, peon!

    Luann: Now we know why Tiffany hangs out with the goth chick. She needs an advisor who can recite the alphabet from memory. Hell, it’s probably a paid position.

    Crock: Is Grossie planning to move over to “Ask Shagg”? I can’t say I blame her.

    PreTeena: At least the damn hippy pageant is over with.

    FC: You mean Billy wasn’t a freebie? They both came out with the same brain damage.

    Marvin: Stealing sight gags from Dennis the Menace? Yeah, they might hold that against you.

    Big Dog: Or maybe he’s just following you to some secluded spot with no witnesses.

    A3G: Alan: “Gosh, I hope so, ‘cuz I plan on being a big jerk a lot.”

    SFx: Reeky Rat’s old lady is snitching on him, which is a bad, bad idea to begin with. Now she’s on the phone to Slylock, and he’s advising her to get in deeper by putting her own personal scent on the funny money. The reekster may be a Leno-worthy dumb crook, but he’ll figure that one out. When this poor gal gets dumped in a shallow grave, it’ll be on Slylock’s fuzzy head.

  123. gkl
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MT: Yeah, cancer ruins everything. The rest of us learned that from Funky Winkerbean about two through eight months ago.

  124. Bobdog
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    SFx – This scene with Reeky and his wife reminds me vaguely of the scene from Pulp Fiction where Bruce Willis comes out of the shower, trying to re-assure his girlfriend that everything will be alright. Hopefully this means Slylock ends up being tortured by a gimp, but I’m sure there are all sorts of other Pulp Fiction/Slylock combination possibilities.

  125. Tweeks_Coffee
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    #122 – Deena in OR: I got myself this one: Don’t know much about it though, I haven’t gotten it just yet. Seemed decent anyway, nice big drawing area and all. I haven’t had one for over a year since my last one got the plug broken.

  126. Girl Reporter
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Josh says: Pluggers are unable to save adequately for retirement, and will thus spend most of their waking hours engaged in soul-crushing menial work until the day they drop dead

    Not to defend Pluggers (!), but the sweet old grampas might be there because they’ve always wanted to work in a hardware store, and now that they’ve retired from the soul-crushing job they dragged themselves to every morning for 30 years in order to support the family whether they liked it or not, they can do something they love.

    My daddy loved tools and hardware stores. And I really appreciate when there’s a sweet old man to help me when I have a question about fromsets, doohickies or thingamabobs.

  127. aquagirl3
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    HEY! HEY! Easy there, Alan! Jeez. What happens when someone like an A3G bland-o-man goes on a drunken rampage? I’m picturing him ripping out a collar stay and flinging it into the air.

  128. True Fable
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #118 Tweeks Coffee – true that, true that. The thing is, she got all bent out of shape because the guy took the dog’s collar off to give him a bath when the dog ran away. What else was he supposed to do? Now if the dog decides to run off to find ANOTHER meddling old biddy, is that one going to raise hell because Mary let the dog loose, even though it was a dog park? Of course Mary will say, “well at least I had a collar on him” but still and all. I just wanted to razz at her.
    Yes, razz at a Comic Strip Character who isn’t even alive and can’t read, and Moy and Giella don’t give a shit if I razz them or not. Christ, I have a headache. It’s bedtime for little Fables. :-)

  129. Tweeks_Coffee
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    #129 – True Fable: As if you ever need a reason to razz Mary. I’m just hoping that this dog’s owned by Aldo, or possibly Tommy the Tweaker, and this is all just part of some intricate revenge plot. Of course it would be even more delicious if it was, say, Toby. A battle for biddy supremacy the likes of which we haven’t seen since Ella Byrd drove off to whatever she does now may be on the horizon.

  130. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    #93 TB Tabby

    H&L: Could someone please explain to me why Chip is dressed like Lois?

    That may be what’s making Hi’s eyes bug out, rather than Chip’s sudden fluency in German.

  131. fillmoreeast
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    127: Pluggers has earned my ill will many times over, much like Mallard Fillmore or late-Hart-era BC. But even saying that, I have to admit I chuckled at “bivalve sprockets.”

  132. Allie Cat
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    now that they’ve retired from the soul-crushing job they dragged themselves to every morning for 30 years in order to support the family whether they liked it or not, they can do something they love.

    #127 – Girl Reporter – you just described my dad – he got downsized after 37 loyal, life-shortening years as a Hospital Administrator then went to work for REI (a camping supply/outdoors store). He had to wear a green vest, but damn if he didn’t love that job. His co-workers were all kids in their twenties, and he had a blast.

    He ended up getting an earring. He cooked for these kids, they came to him for advice on money, relationships, parents.

    He had to quit for health reasons, but the seven years he spent there were professionally his happiest years. And he did a great job of it.

    Plus, he could scout the clearance racks daily, and I scored a few really nice pairs of trail shoes, courtesy of Dad.

  133. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    NYer CC

    “You’ll have to excuse our anesthesiologist. He feels a need to test the new brands himself.”

  134. Niall
    January 7th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Did I mention I was starting to dig the Bob Weber Jr website

    Here are two more reasons:

    1- A really, really buffed-up Slylock fan drawing. Holy crap. That’s all I can say. (And the comments! We’re not alone!)

    2- Six Differences with a mermaid and amorous female octopus (complete with lipstick) whcih is getting dangerously close to hentai there. The fishes’ smiles is what gets me.

    And someone seems to have done a video Slylock tribute. I can’t see it from work. I’m really curious.

  135. Ranger
    January 7th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    #87: My first thought was Max Power.

  136. Tom M
    January 7th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Luban. Seeing the strip was somewhat of a letdown — was hoping for something that would leave me reeling in stunned disbelief.

  137. Yahtzee
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Go Margo! Everyone knows the “heart-shaped silhouette frame” is 3G code for “getting laid.”

  138. Liam
    January 8th, 2008 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Jeremy is SO disgusted, in fact, that he is simultaneously speaking out of his mouth and his lower back.

  139. Crooked Soricidae
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Captain Thunder, whither be Menacing House????????

  140. Daniel
    July 1st, 2013 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Zits What, didn’t everyone spend time at home with dad’s big bushel o’ pubes?

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