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Friday one-liners

Apartment 3-G, 1/11/08

Lu Ann’s parents are remarkably clear-sighted about their daughter.

Mary Worth, 1/11/08

Picking up dog shit turned out be significantly more distasteful than Mary had imagined it would be.

For Better Or For Worse, 1/11/08

John plans to kill his wife and feast on the delicious organ meats within her body.

Family Circus, 1/11/08

At that moment, any doubts Big Daddy Keane had about his plan to drown the children disappeared.

165 responses to “Friday one-liners”

  1. gleeb
    January 11th, 2008 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Drowning kids, Josh? Too soon, man, too soon.

  2. True Fable
    January 11th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    I don’t usually like to repeat myself but I wanted to note something about today’s DtM panel that might have been overlooked by our fine panel of snarkers:

    I liked Dennis the Menace today not because the kid was such a smartypants brat, but because apparently HIS MOTHER OUT-MENACED DENNIS!!

    Yeppity yep yep, that notion pleases me no end.

  3. Harold
    January 11th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    I believe in the second panel of Mary Worth, Chester’s rightful owner is directing him to fly back to the landing craft so they can get the hell off this goofball planet.

  4. Captain Thunder
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    2. True Fable: It’s obvious that Dennis has inherited his menacing abilities from his mother. During the Nineties, party girl “Alice the Menace” was quite the hit on the club scene, until an unexpected pregnancy brought things to a screeching halt. This probably goes a long way towards explaining her typical looks of icy disdain in response to her offspring’s antics: she’s undoubtedly cursing herself mentally for not getting that abortion like Henry wanted.

  5. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    4: I’m sticking with my “he’s throwing the little dog into a ravine, or perhaps simply tossing him forward so that a stick can fetch and bring him back” theory from late last night. Am I really the only one who sees it that way?

  6. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    5: Oops, I meant #3, Harold. Sorry ’bout that.

  7. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    I agree with gleeb. Here at work dealing with the aftermath…
    But what the hell, its good to laugh!

  8. Citric
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I actually had a car that I bought for $20. It was the greatest car ever made, even though it sort of only half worked by the end. Am I a plugger now?

  9. Derelict
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Actually, that look of dispair on Daddy Keane’s face is due to the dawning realization that Thel is on that cruise ship, along with Bruce the gardener. And all of the Keane family savings.

    And Daddy Keane is on the shore with his mental midget offspring, freshly delivered divorce papers, and the prospect of decades spent being destitute with only his spawn for company. Drown the children? More like he wants to fake his own death and have the state claim the kids.

  10. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    In panel 2, Elly looks like Joe Walsh from the Eagles.

  11. Rusty
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I have read somewhere that women stubbornly cling to the hairstyle they wore when they were at their most physically attractive. Until that moment comes, Elly will keep growing it out.

  12. Champ
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    I was relieved to see that the current Mary Worth story line ended… without… anything.. really… happening. I would have been disappointed if there had been some actual, you know, drama or something.

  13. Brown-eyed Girl
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    7. Big Sims. I wondered if you guys had to deal with that horror. It must be awful. I’m sending some positive thoughts your way…

  14. fishmorgjp
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    “Yes Elly, you are truly beautiful inside, even if you do outwardly resemble Bert from Sesame Street.”

  15. Deena in OR
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Big Sims-

    I can’t imagine. We’re here for you in spirit, buddy.

  16. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    So the basic message of today’s Foob is that Elly’s mother was really seriously ugly.

  17. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    13 Brown-eyed Girl,
    Yeah, we’re knee-deep in it. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

  18. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    Apparently I missed a news story about drowned children. Sympathies to anyone affected.

  19. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    18: I think it’s this, plus the general weather weirdness/natural disastrousness that’s been happening all week throughout the south and central states.

    Good luck, Simsy!

    (Josh, I still think references to Bil or Thel or both drowning their children individually or as a team are always funny, regardless of current events. Just for the record)

  20. Harry Paratestes
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Harold and SecretMargo
    I think that the guy is hurling Chester into the wilds with some mean English on the beast after he heard Mary’s declaration of bestiality.

  21. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    #1 gleeb,
    Nah, I don’t think so. The infamous kid-drowning cases involve the mother. We men seem to prefer the third story window. So i don’t think there”s a sticky “ripped from the headlines” story attached to this snark.

  22. Harry Paratestes
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps the Ancestress-of-Foobs had a small moustache and goatee to boot.

  23. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    #19 Secret Margo,
    I’m not dealing with that disaster. Some extremely deranged man is accused of throwing his four young children to their deaths from the Dauphin Island Bridge into Mobile Bay/Mississippi Sound, my backyard, operationally speaking.
    Thanks to all for the positive vibes and I agree with Secret Margo;

    (Josh, I still think references to Bil or Thel or both drowning their children individually or as a team are always funny, regardless of current events. Just for the record)

    I mean I’d be a little worried that the Keene Children might just float away, with their little melon heads a-bobbin on the waves.

  24. Loopina
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Unseen fifth panel, John’s thought balloon: “I did it! I said it all with a straight face!”

    Or maybe he just means her clitoris.
    *(brain bleach)*

  25. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Huh, looking back over the other comments, I seem to have missed some stuff too. Sorry, Sims.

    Still, I think Josh is doing his job the best he can.

  26. Sekuin
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    That’s not really Elly. Some horrible The Thing-like monstrosity manipulated John into getting close enough for it to pounce. Just check out the tentacle coming out of her robe’s sleeve in the third panel.

  27. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    #25 Artist formerly known as Ben, and all others…

    Josh is the Pope! He does a wonderful job and keeps me in stitches everytime he posts. And it is funny to think about Keene Kid demise, despite current events.

  28. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    23: Whoops! Well, I can see how that is more disquietingly topical (article here, for the morbidly interested yet underinformed, like I was).

    But my previous point still remains, I think.

  29. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    # 24 — GAAAH! Pass that bleach, Loopina!

  30. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I’d like to see Grandma Keane meet her demise in some large body of water. I deeply hate her hairstyle.

  31. Vince M
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    8: Citric – my brother bought a clapped out old SAAB station wagon for $25 in the ’70s – it was about the only roadworthy thing in severe Lansing, Michigan winters then, even though he had to fabricate an elaborate system of pull cords to return the pedals after pressing them, and the 2-cycle engine had to be periodically dismantled to scrape out buildups of what could only be called ‘motor tofu’.

  32. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    #30 Poteet,
    Hate to put words in your mouth, but I’d imagine you’re using the word ‘hairstyle’ rather loosely. It’s reminiscent of topiary.

  33. mollificent
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    Sigh…I tried *so* hard to come up with a FOOB-ian take on “A Little Priest” from Sweeney Todd, in honor of Josh’s lovely snark. Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t horribly violate the “Thou shalt not blaspheme His Holiness Stephen Sondheim with inferior-quality parodies” clause. Sigh.

    Anyone else care to have a go? For inspiration:

  34. Loopina
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    #30: Whose hair do you hate more, Grandma Keane’s or Mary Worth’s? I think they go to the same salon.

  35. dimestore lipstick
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    the general weather weirdness/natural disastrousness that’s been happening all week throughout the south and central states.

    I’ve been dealing with that. And it’s been pretty horrible. But I haven’t had nearly as much to cope with as some of my family; here’s a news report featuring my nephew Alex:

  36. monkey.dave
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    I think Luann is a separated-at-birth member of the Keane clan. Here they are staring off into space as Papa Keane reads them a story…
    It’s the exact same look that Luann has while Ruby is talking to her today.

    Also, I hope Ruby gets a professional to take a look at those bows on the side of her head. At the rate they’re growing, they might well turn out to be triffids.

  37. Harry Paratestes
    January 11th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Somehow, FOOB makes me think of the article in CNN today where long-separated twins ended up marrying each other. That would explain everything.

  38. bats :[
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

  39. Harry Paratestes
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    yes, bats, it’s true

  40. Poteet
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    # 32 — BWAHAHA! You’re right, Big Sims — I just checked the 1/9 FC to confirm. Eww. Now I wish she’d use her tiny pruners to at least change the shape occasionally.

    # 34 — Hmm. Let me think about your interesting question for just a moment, Loopina…I’ll try to picture Grandma Keane hair next to Mary Worth hair…*brain explodes*

  41. Dr. Blinky
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    I knew I shouldn’t come to this site high, now I can’t stop craving delicious organ meats. Thanks a lot Josh.

  42. Burning Prairie
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Ruby, honey, two hot-pink bows, one over each ear, only works if you’re a poodle.

  43. ChattyGenes
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    #11 Rusty. Hmmm…some women, maybe. I know a few who do. But I don’t. (Have the same hairstyle I did when I was at my most attractive). I’d really look like an old hag now, if I did.

    Just like Elly, in fact, who is too clueless to get herself a decent haircut/updated look.

  44. Deborah
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    Ruby’s giant hair bow has undergone fission.

    Or it’s a tribble and someone fed it.

  45. ChattyGenes
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    #42 Burning Prairie. BWAHAHA!

    Or, works only if you are six years old.

  46. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    35: Wow, that’s quite a story, dimestore! What a great nephew you have! Hopefully, rebuilding the family home won’t be more traumatic than it has to be. Condolences on any other troubles you or yours may have gone through.

    38: welcome to the Dark Side, bats :[

  47. bats :[
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    24. Loopina re FOOB: I thought the same thing. Speaking about what’s on the inside, Dr. Patterfoob must been bustin’ a gut as he goes on and on…

    33. Mollificent: how sad is this? I started watching the Sweeney Todd clip, and when I first saw Angela Landsbury with her little hair twists from the back, I was wondering who CGI’ed the bear from Josh’s “Mark Trail Follies” into the clip!
    God, I need to get out more…

    34. Loopina (again!): I’ll agree that Gramma Keane and Mary Worth go to the same salon. What’s really needed is Ruby Bows (TM)…lots of them! All over those imperious, towering coiffures! Accept no substitute: Ruby Bows (TM)! Now in colors Not Found in Nature!

    35. dimestore lipstick: WHAT A GUY! Kudos and hurrah for your nephew Alex!

  48. bats :[
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    41. Dr. Blinky: then don’t miss Ruby’s prize-winnin’ (the Marfa County Fair, three years runnin’!) kidneys in a blanket.

    46. Welcome accepted, SecretMargo.

  49. Eloise at the Plaza
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    First time commenting/many months lurking- Words cannot express how deeply this site makes me laugh (and spit tea on my keyboard); snark is so good for the soul…

    MW- I’m sorry, but what about the honking big vet bill that Mary just got stuck with? Shouldn’t this guy offer to reimburse her for that and the dog food? And why, given her parsimonious tight-sphinctered nature, isn’t Mary asking for her due?

    JP- Could they please, please, please, please have sex now?

  50. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    #35 dimestore lipstick,
    Wow indeed! We could use guys like that in the USCG. We have the same motto in the Guard as the Boy Scouts, just fancied up – Semper Paratus. He’d fit right in!

  51. mollificent
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    47 bats :[ LOL! hmmm…”Mark Trail Theater Presents: Sweeney Todd.” Instead of razors, Sweeney could just use the Fist O’Death to prepare the victims for their pies. :)

    Oh, no. No, no, no. Now I’m associating Mrs. Lovett’s little bear buns with Ruby’s bows. DON’T EAT THE HORS D’OEUVRES LUANN!!!

    (“…and we’ve got some shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd on top!”)

  52. SecretMargo
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    All this talk is making me miss Old Bean somethin’ fierce. Remember this?

    The only thing that makes FC tolerable is imagining that each day’s strip is followed by the parents screaming in horror, tying their children in a bag and throwing them in the river. But every night they wake to the slap slap slap of little wet feet as the kids file back in through the door, blank-eyed and expressionless.

    *sniff. Beautiful.

  53. SecretAgentMan
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised it’s a comment about fish and not about the giant “HONK” banner that someone’s apparently decided to pitch over the boat.

    Metahumour aside, what’s the real reason for the honking? A gloating farewell to the Keenes as they leave them on a deserted island for the crime of incessant retarded commentary? Or merely alerting the native cannibals to the presence of succulent morsels as they head back to the mainland to report the loss of 3 passengers in an unfortunate accident?

  54. Zamboni_Rodeo
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    38, bats :[:

    That was fantastic! We should be so lucky that Moy and Giella would ever do anything half as clever.

  55. Big Sims
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    #52 Secret Margo,
    I miss some old bean myself.

  56. True Fable
    January 11th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    # 35 dimestore lipstick – I don’t use the term awesome lightly, but I am filled with awe and then some over that story. Your nephew is one hell of a guy! :-)

  57. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    FBoFW Good GOD, the Pattersons are obsessed with themselves! Maybe they should stop worrying about looking like their elders and consider behaving like there is a world beyond their little neighborhood in Milborough, Ontario, Canada, North America, Planet Earth, this solar system, a spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy, universe. Oh, but who am I kidding, it is fun to note that Elly didn’t say a word about her potato nose and bulging eyes and that FUGLY HAIRBUN.

  58. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    PBS Reading this strip reminds me that yes, there are some very funny cartoonists out there who can do scatalogical humor and do it right. Pastis is one of them.
    Big Dog The horror! THE HORROR!
    9CL It’s about time someone said it, but Juliette seems to feed on being hated. I Soooo wish someone would crush the pomposity out of her.
    Looks like a job for…. TRU-MAN!!!! :P

  59. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Saturday observations:

    RMMD: I admit it: I am in AWE of the holding power of Niki’s mousse. While Rex looks like a wet rat, Niki remains stylish point. Starfish-Boy, indeed!

    MW: what da heck is in Mary’s hand? Please don’t tell me it’s a wadded up pair of panties…

    FOOB: and what’s that beside John? A giant sandworm larva? (No, to the right. I know that’s Elly to the left!)

    FC: maybe it’s the thought that counts:

  60. Allie Cat
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    #49 Eloise – Just after Thanksgiving a dog in my neighborhood went missing – the money his owners put into flyers must have been astronomical, and they were offering a reward as well. I don’t know how it turned out, but I still see the occasional faded, torn plea to help them find Frank (a small rat terrier mix).

    Most dog owners, myself included, would offer the temporary keeper of our wayward beast some kind of compensation for their troubles.

    At the very least, I think somebody owes Mary a new lilac colored scarf.

    And if they can find them, a replacement pair of glass swans.

  61. Josh
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    Yeah, for the record I am not really a cable news watcher and was completely unaware of the situation in Mobile Bay. (One of the many reasons I am not a cable news watcher is that they love to pack their coverage with stories that make you feel awful and that you can’t do anything about.)

    On the other hand, it’s always a good day to drown a fictional cartoon Keane kid. Big Sims, this made me laugh so hard: “I mean I’d be a little worried that the Keene Children might just float away, with their little melon heads a-bobbin on the waves.” Hee!


  62. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    60. Allie Cat re missing pets: and then, some rescuers are just being The City’s Finest…a few years ago, I noticed a policeman moving from our neighbor’s front door to the side of the house. I figured I might as well ask him if there was anything I could help with, and all he could tell me was to mind my own business.
    It turned out that on his neighborhood cruising, he’d noticed our neighbor’s dog Maya wandering down the street. He’d checked her tags and was returning her home! (A workman had left the gate open.) Maya was happily sitting in the back of the squad car, apparently having an Excellent Adventure.
    A story with a happy ending.

  63. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Just want to say hooray for Alex! That’s the kind of kid/guy you want for a neighbor. Even better to have him for a member of the family. Best of all to have him around in a crisis. Kudos, Alex, and I hope you and your family will get your home rebuilt soon.

  64. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    JP By golly if we didn’t call the “Special Brownies” angle! I can only hope that this Meanwhile-style jump to the chicken farm means Sam and Abbey are gettin’ busy over at Spencer Farms. Sort of like a “pan to the curtains and fade” thing they used to do in the movies.
    MT Tomorrow’s dialog will read: “Now let me get this straight. I have cancer but if I have an operation I’ll be saved?” “Yes, goddammit, that’s what I keep telling you but if you don’t get your ass over here, it will be too late!” “Quack! Ahhhh!”
    MW “The way we both are now”? What, that Chester is fed and happy, and you learned a Brady Bunch lesson? This HAS to be the LAMEST Mary Worth plotline yet, and let me tell you, she’s limped plenty lately.
    Phantom LOL! I swear I thought box read Next: Damn!
    RMMD I’m still digging the Soaking Wet and Shot At Look that Rex is rockin’. However, I do not understand why Largo from Megatokyo is guest starring in panel two.

  65. SaberChick
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Deisel Sweeties – “St. Peter don’t you call me cause I can’t goooooooooo – I owe my soul to the company store – dum dum dum dum da da da dum.

  66. Apartmento
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Non-Sequitur – I now understand why we aren’t allowed to have tasers in my country (Australia). Someone’s probably going to plan to mug or play a cruel joke on us when we are unprepared.
    Preteena- Dammit Teena, I think you just poisoned your friend, Mr. Pinecone, there.

  67. Rainbird
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker Saturday Hooray. The Brownies are BACK. Finally. That’s what is important. Not legless vets. Not tight dressing gowns. Brownies.

  68. SaberChick
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Hmm, Funky Winkerbean -

    Non Cancerous



  69. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    If Barreto doesn’t show Sam and Abbey in full-color afterglow in the Sunday panels, there is no justice in the world and I will finally throw down my shield and agree once and for all that Sam is an asexual sponge.

    What I DO NOT want to see is a full-color Sunday strip focused on Grandma Death’s-head and the Legless Wonder.

    Sweaterpuppies, dammit! Sweaterpuppies and cobblestone abs, now!

  70. Pig in a bucket
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    9CL – I’m actually enjoying the abuse, but then I’m a sick puppy.

    JP- OK, he’s gay and/or insane…no other explaination.

  71. Sophist, FCD
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    A 3-G: Busy on “the Ranch”, huh? Isn’t that what they tell kids when their dog dies? I’m imagining a conversation that went something like this:

    Family Friend: “I’m so sorry, Lu Ann, but something’s happened to your parents.”

    Lu Ann: [vacant stare]

    Family Friend: “They were in a…uh…I mean, they had to go away and live on a ranch. But don’t worry, They’ll love it there, lots of fresh air and…um, bunnies to chase.”

    Lu Ann: “Bunnies are fluffy.”

    Ruby’s patronizing smirk and “I’m sure they are, Honey” seem to confirm this hypothesis.

  72. Bill Wright
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    Geez, will Elly’s nose ever stop growing? She’s becoming a dead ringer for Karl Malden. Give her a fedora and a rain coat and she could star with Michael Douglas in a remake of The Streets of San Francisco!

  73. DanKirby
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    GT: It seems as if the seemingly nonsensical 1/4/08 strip was really a clever foreshadowing. This car fire must have been the result of ol’ Car-Eatin’ Sal having a flambé, before Andrew Gregory’s giant forehead scared him off.

  74. Hero120499
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    So, I made the most horrible discovery at my local library today. There are animated Family Circus video specials – – alas, I was too afraid to pick them up. Plus, I might forget to return them on time and then I would have to justify paying late fees for Family circus videos.

  75. TB Tabby
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    9CL: I never thought I’d say this…I miss Thorax.

    H&L: Oh, SNAP! Lois is part of the evIl evolutionist conspitacy trying to outlaw Christianity!

    Pluggers: We’re stretching the definition again. What kind of Plugger attends a social gathering that requires fancy dress? The kind that gets his strangely alluring wife to wear something that shows her cleavage, apparently.

    Popeye: Does Swee’Pea even have teeth?! Pick a stage of development and stick with it already!


    ZtP: Have you been talking to Sally Floyd again?

  76. StrangeRover
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    #8 Critic: re: pluggers – no, you’re a plugger now if you’re old, have poor taste, eat really crappy food, and have a pretty desperate and meaningless life. A cheap car doesn’t even get you a day-pass into the club.

  77. SecretMargo
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: Does she mean…Chinese New Year? ‘Cause otherwise, it’s a little bit late for all this. Also, Alan’s been passed out with his face down in a plate of pigs-in-a-blanket since eight thirty, so Lu Ann’s got a fair amount of crust to scrape off before she can even begin to locate his lips. She should really have started this project hours ago.

    MW: Mary’s huffing from a paint thinner-soaked monogrammed handkerchief and there’s a rave for ecstasy and rawhide chip-blitzed dogs breaking out in the background. For once, I side with Toby and her disgusted, disbelieving expression as she contemplates the depravity.

    H&J: Oh, Herb pays for dinner, don’t you worry. He don’t need no dead president to help him keep Jamaal happy.

    OBH: Ruthie, the problem is you’re trying to use the baby scissors on paper. Baby scissors are for babies. Duh.

    GT: Is it me, or is this new kid being vilified for displaying the one trait impermissible within Milford city limits: actual competence? I mean, scoring points at a game? Using a video camera to shoot footage of an accident that might even be usable by the local news instead of peering at it through the hazy viewfinder of a beat-up Instamatic? What’s next, using a chainsaw to cut trees instead of his own leg off?

    Pluggers: That tux is a T-shirt, too. And the pants are black velour sweatpants with a stripe down the side and “Big Pimpin’” spelled out in rhinestones across the ass. And that head is papier mâché.

    Curtis: Really? An “on ‘crack’” joke? Is it 1996 today? Are you following up with a Monica Lewinsky joke tomorrow? Or maybe a Pat Nixon one, considering the vintage of your “Partridge Family” reference.

    TDIET: I hate to crowd Josh’s game, but man: Zuper Oatmobile X-5. That’s what I call a Scadutoism.

    FW: Well, that’s…refreshingly sweet, really. And the punchline works! Where’s the soul-deadening wallowing in long-buried childhood trauma and cycles of senseless bullying?

    Crankshaft: Aaaah, there you are. I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Batiuk. Despair as cozy as slipping into a sleeping bag filled with phlegm. Mmmmm.

  78. Royal Sampler
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    Phantom, panel 1: I, too, sometimes have to scratch the top of my butt cleft. But I have learned the following: 1) never do this in public, and 2) NEVER DO IT WITH A PISTOL, STUPID! Man’s gonna shoot himself and need an ass transplant.

  79. Lord-z
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    Then, out of nowhere, every last one of the 2500 passengers aboard the HMS Queen Mary yelled out “HONK” at the top of their lungs.

  80. Yusifu
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: I don’t think those are really bows on Ruby’s head. They’re cushions to prevent (further) brain damage when she bangs her head against the wall. It isn’t clear to me whether she does it out of frustration at the rest of her family or just because that’s what members of her family do.

  81. Team MP
    January 12th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    MW- okay, so everyone is saying that Mary is huffing on that “rag.” I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that is a cup coffee that wasn’t there two days ago. I think Mary is moving on from dog theft to coffee theft. Mary seems like she would be above that, but I have to believe Mary’s desires outweigh any concerns about “germs.”

    JP- come on, say it. Say it. Say brownie. Say it! SAY Brownie! BROWNIEEEE!!!!!!

    I’m on a mission, but I’m going to need some help. I was going to start, “brownie count,” but King Features is wack. Someone has used the word brownie at least 10 times since 12/4/07. Thing is, I can’t find strips between 12/7 and 12/13. Brownie was being dropped during that week like a stereotype from the Chamber of Commerce.

    Please help. Together we can make a difference. This data will be used to help… help pacify my OCD, apparently…

  82. ltrftp Hedly
    January 12th, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    GT – I wonder who set the car on fire. NOT!

    JP – Now we know. And it was obviously all because of Elvira’s cataracts. I wonder if they have the same side effect on Elvira that they did on Abbey.
    Fyi. No one with any sense has an everyday tablecloth that long.
    It’s hard to get your legs under the table. Even if it is a drop leaf table you would fold the darn thing. Can the artist not draw floors under tables?

    And the wobbity lines match Elviras chin lines.

    Remember when you could say “He’s got more chins than a
    ____________ phone book.”? Just like chin nuts in the last panel of MT.

    MW – In the most exciting plot point of this strip, Mary is going to sneeze. Discovering that she is also allergic to dogs. She will force Charterstone to adopt a rule change that no dogs will be allowed. And if a dog is found on the property, the security guard will catch it and drop it off the cliff at Aldo’s Point.

    SFx – WTF?

  83. ltrftp Hedly
    January 12th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    True Fable

    I usually skip Marmaduke. I clicked on your link. Now I have this image of the little girl giving the old lady peanut butter.

    Please pass the *Brain Bleach*

  84. Comic Connoisseur
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Curtis – when has anyone ever snapped their fingers and tapped their feet to hardcore rap? Even fans of Vanilla Ice weren’t that white.

  85. AhClem
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    FW – Tomorrow’s strip: one of the boxes falls over, breaking the light bulb and giving comic book guy a concussion. The ensuing fire gives them both 3rd degree burns and releases asbestos from the plaster walls. They both eventually die of gangrene and lung cancer. The End.

    Either that, or Batuik will revert back to his usual depressingly tragic style.

  86. gleeb
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Candorville: Yolanda, desperate to get out of H&J for a few hours, is just trying to ease the burden on her mind. Why do you have to nit-pick?

    ‘bean: It’s right over the pizza place, so he can die in the inevitable grease-related fire.

    H&J: And the first time that joke was told, it was Ptolemy, King of Egypt who was blinking. No wonder Yolanda escapes when she can.

    Parker: …and cut Elvira’s hash kitchen. I’m gonna go ahead and assume that Abbey got some.

    Cucaracha: Got tired of using the same drawing for the past three days, or did he spill something on it?

    Phantom: Another gritty tale of the mean streets of Bangalla! Can’t we have some pirates or smugglers or something? Please?

  87. Pete DuKane
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: She’s joined the insurgents. Or Blues Traveler.

  88. Scrog
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    The banner over the cruise ship folds around the other side. It must be one of them special honky cruises Carnival puts on.

    And the setup was sorta painful, but I laughed at yesterday’s Drabble.

  89. jules
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    January 12 – in today’s A3G, we find out that this is a New Year’s party!


  90. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    77. SecretMargo re A3G: if this is Chinese New Year, I hope that Ruby planned accordingly. Last year was the Year of the Pig and the upcoming year is the Year of the Rat, so it only stands to reason (homespun, babygirl reason) that she should be serving rats in a blanket…

  91. Pendragon
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Duck and Cover = “Quack! Aahhh!”

    JP: You’re doin’ a heckuva job, Brownie.

  92. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Comics:

    Mary Worth: Did she swallow that sno-cone whole? OH MY GAWD! That’s why the good doctor puts up with her $hit!!

    Pluggers: Plugger males are too cheap to rent socks when renting their tuexedos.

    Blondie: Is the “Complaint Department” Dagwood’s pet name for Blondies’ “garage?”

    Saturday’s Retail: Props to Norm Feuti. He reuses the common complaint of annoying coworkers without seeming trite. Unlike a certain circular family‘s retreading a tired concept.

    Garfield: Even Garfield’s more menacing than Dennis.

    Hagar: Hagar’s a Plugger.

    Cathy: Isn’t panel one missing an “AAAAAAK!”?

  93. John C Fremont
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Some other possible explanations for panel two of Mary Worth;

    1) Mary’s thumb has been swollen to comic proportions by a bee sting, and she’s fashioned a make-shift bandage from a used napkin she found on the walking trail.

    2) Ralphie’s owner slipped her his phone number, and she’s checking to see if the paper smells of Johnny Walker. He scribbled it on a used napking he found on the walking trail.

    3) Mary suddenly remembered she had an ice cream cone in her pocket, and she’s about to eat it with loud Elly Patterson slurping noises. To soak up the melting ice cream, she’s wrapped it in a used napkin she found on the walking trail.

    4) Mary is looking at pictures of herself and Chester in compromising positions on her cell phone. To keep Toby from seeing, she’s partially concealed the screen with a used napkin she found on the walking trail.

    5) Mary is practicing her slight-of-hand skills, pulling a fragrant flower from mid-air. Oddly, the flower is wrapped in a used napkin she found on the walking trail.

    6) Mary has gone bat-shit insane and is sniffing a used napkin she found on the walking trail.

    7) Reality no longer has meaning. Reality has been wrapped in a used napkin that Mary Worth found on the walking trail.

  94. Loopina
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    #74: I’ve actually seen the FC animated shows, and lived to tell the tale. This one in particular was a Christmas show, where Grandma can’t find a special star for the top of the tree. Grandpa’s ghost makes a guest appearance and leads Jeffy to the box where the star is.

    I rember being a little disturbed watching the story with my own grandpap (he recorded it off the tv and I probably still have the tape somewhere), what with the whole dead grandpa angle. What do you want? I was 7.

    Who else on the comics page made the leap to animation?
    Popeye – even a movie – this guy did it all
    Beetle Bailey
    FOOB – a series
    Ziggy – a Christmas special, according to Amazon
    Cathy – one shot? remember seeing the commercial
    Blondie one shot?
    Bloom County/Opus – A Wish for Wings that Work

  95. Braniff
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Today’s FC made a reference to the Buffalo Bills–and the Buffalo Jeffs. A well-known player, who wore the number of 32 (and was acquited for murder in a criminal case a few years ago) played for that team.

    That player, whose last name was Simpson, was jailed yesterday. Coincidence? I think not . . .

  96. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I now have a new signature in the Forums that puts everything I feel in a nutshell:

    I read FBoFW because I never saw a train wreck in slow motion before and this comic gives me a front row seat.

  97. Loopina
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Speaking of animated specials, there used to be an Easter cartoon that was more religious than usual and had nary a bunny or egg to be found. It was about a kid who loses his dog, a bully finds the dog and holds it for ransom. The dog escapes and eventually finds his own way home.
    Somehow, the dog represented Jesus, and his return inspired the boy to draw a poster for a church contest. Somebody please confirm I’m not insane.

    Also, #95: I was distracted by the fact that Billy was wearing a shirt with his name on it. Like, in case the readers forget what his name is? After the football game, he’s going to watch Kill Bill.

  98. digamma
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Men who haven’t shaved in the morning never look as horrible in real life as they do in the comics. I wonder if Gilette and King Features have an arrangement.

  99. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    #90 bats :[: Year of the Rat? That explains why Ruby was carrying a tray of ratberry cannolis.

    #82 ltrftp Hedly: I didn’t know that dog allergies are contagious.
    RERUN WARNING: Push Foob out of your mind with these random single panels. They made me laugh as I was locating the previous link.

    “I think you mean…”

    “Slap, slap, slap…”


    What’s Spidey doing today?

    Mmmm, taters!

  100. Calico
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    #94 – You can see some of the FOOB animated magic on You Tube. Mike is just as much of an ass as he is on the comics pages, if not even more so.

    Let us never forget two greats – Tintin and Asterix!

    Have any of you ever read Mafalda? She’s a little Argentinian girl with a deep hidden desire for democracy but resorts to a lot of populist-speak-kind of if Lucy Van Pelt were a supporter of Castro or Chavez. These were first drawn (I think) in the late fifties or early sixties by a man named Quino.
    Not trying to go all politico, but that is what I recall the premise of the comic to be.

  101. Calico
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    MW – Mary’s expression is the epitome of officiousness. Been there, done that, she sniffs.
    Whatever will our next meddlemania consist of?

    3G – I see the Duuuuuurrrrrr factor is still alive and well. Poor dumb Luann.

  102. commodorejohn
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    9CL – You and me both, Britneigh.

    BB – Oh great, now Beetle Bailey is turning into Crankshaft.



    FOOB – Oh, how charming! Two insufferably vain people in the same strip!

    FW – I chuckled at Funky Winkerbean. I’m awaiting the arrival of the Antichrist any day now.

    GT – The camcorder is more normal-looking than the human beings in this strip.


    Luann – Luann’s Muppet mouth is almost as frightening as the Foobians’.


    MW – Here’s a hint, Mary: the opening in the lid of the coffee cup goes in your mouth, not next to it.

    NS – What is this, taser week in the comics? They’re not really all that funny, people. And by “not really all that funny,” I mean “exceedingly painful and may kill you if used carelessly.”

    RMMD – Let’s see, Rex: you think that Lee followed you out here with a gun to kill you and he’s suddenly going to turn around and head back because he forgot his money? Death is too good for this idiot.

    Edison Lee – Way to make the past week sound way more interesting/amusing than it actually was, Hambrock.

  103. Calico
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

  104. dreadedcandiru2
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Foob: Like so many people up- and yesterthread, I’d like to reiterate that John should be less worried that he looks like his father and more that he looks like his wife.

  105. Moss_Moses
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth is pulling the Swillary maneuver to impress CamelToeby. Dabbing a hankie on her cheek is as close as that cold meddlefish will ever get to displaying genuine human emotion. This ending is even more anti-climatic than the previous inane episode and equally droll and banal. It’s like that Chinese saying, “hu tou she wei” (tiger start, snake ending.

  106. Moss_Moses
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    104. Perhaps he should be more concerned that his chinticles are looking less buttcheek-like and more and more like the saintly, beloved scrotum chinned Grandpa.

  107. Comics Bear
    January 12th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    FC: “Mommy doesn’t really swim out to meet those, right, Daddy?”

  108. Calico
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    I would absolutely LOVE to see some of these characters, esp. the females, on an animated version of “The Apprentice.”
    Especially Mary the Meddler, Margo the Psycho Freak, Miss Buxley, One-Armed Becky, Cherry Trail, Luann “Duh” Powers, Ruby, Mrs. Wilson, Elvira “Special Brownies” Dickens, and last but not least by a a long shot, Blondie Bumstead.


  109. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Re Curtis: Any theories on why Billingsley sometimes uses single quotes (like on ‘crack’) and sometimes uses double quotes (like on “different”)?

  110. Bunnë
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Further adventures in Bunnë’s overanalytical brain: Juliette is mean.

    Yeah, actually I was going to say something insightful, but apparently I don’t have it in me this morning.

    OK, here’s what I really mean: Rat in PBS and Sadie in Rudy Park are both mean, but we aren’t supposed to like them. They say the sorts of vituperative things we all want to say, but hold back on. They are anti-heroes. But with Juliette, I feel a certain satisfied, ain’t-she-great quality foisted on me, and my answer is no, she’s just a bitch.

    It might be better if the things she said made any sense whatesoever.

  111. J.Noble
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    anyone see Pardon Our Planet today? Ha Ha Ha! It’s a biting politcial joke! Oh snap! You sure cut Dick Cheney down to size! HAR HAR HAR……HAR

  112. Rusty
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    #43: Chatty Genes: It definitely is a generalization, but like most it contains a kernel of truth at the core. I’ve never seen Elly without long hair, and it’s a look that rarely ages well. I just tried to add a snarky twist about her never having reached a moment where she was attractive. In fact, the recently shown early strips depict her as quite fetching with her little button nose.

  113. Old Goat
    January 12th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    94: Don’t forget Dick Tracy and Dilbert. (The Knack was excellent… especially if you work with engineers… but the series didn’t take.)

  114. Bobdog
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    MW – What is that man doing to that dog in panel one? That does not look right. That does not look like something that kids should see. But maybe the fact that the dog is flying in the second panel cancels this out, which is why it made it past the censors.

  115. Poteet
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    # 94 Loopina — A FC TV special featuring Dead Grandpa?? Ooooh….I’m torn between deep repulsion and a deep desire to see if the reality would be as bad as what I’m imagining.

    And your previous post made me wonder what it would look like if Ruby’s salon catered to the comic characters with the worst hairstyles, including Grandma Keane and Mary Worth. I was trying to think of who else would be sitting in that salon, but my brain can only take so much at a time.

  116. Bobdog
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G: LuAnn, “ranch” is just the style of house your parents live in. They sold the McMansion, because as empty nesters they don’t need that much space, a fixed income makes in untenable and in their old age, multiple stories just invite broken hips. When they say they’re too busy to see you, it’s because they’re watching golf on TV, not because they’re out clearing brush. Oh well, I just hope when they pass away, nobody tells her “they bought the farm.”

  117. Vince M
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    94: The Katzenjammers had a short run of cartoons in the ’30s (and I remember seeing them on a tv commercial way back)
    Li’l Abner had a short series in the ’40s. Neither of these seemed to do the strips justice.
    Milt Gross’ Count Screwloose from Toulouse had maybe two cartoons made that did catch the feel and spirit of the strip, but the brass at MGM animation cut the series short since it didn’t have ‘class’ as they saw it.
    The Fleischers did some cartoons with Henry and the Little King, but they didn’t catch on like Popeye did (and their calling Henry ‘the funniest kid in the world’ was waaay too much of a buildup!)

  118. your father isn't mr. cohen
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    MW: When I first saw it, “jock strap” immediately came to mind. Am I the only one?

  119. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    97. Loopina and the weird animated Easter special: are you sure this might not have been a Mary Worth special? Man loves dog, man loses dog, bully/biddy/whatever claims dog, goodness and light eventually reunite man and dog.
    Of course, the next special never got the green light: bully/biddy/whatever eats something identifiable from the ground.

    108. Calico and the animated Apprentice: don’t forget Elly Patterson; she’s very qualified because she owned her own business, you know!
    I love the image of the Donald and all these characters. Oh, to have unlimited resources and a cadre of copyright lawyers!

  120. AtomicDog
    January 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Arctic Circle – Sigh. Space Pens don’t break, and they also don’t leave pencil shavings floating all over the cabin, either.

  121. AtomicDog
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    Cathy – Judging by those forearms, she must be married to Mr. Fantastic.

  122. AtomicDog
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    My Cage – I thought that fired employees couldn’t collect unemployment?

  123. Braniff
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    To 108: Let”s add Cathy as well, along with Lucy Van Pelt, Elly (of For Better fame) and Helga from Hagar the Horrible. And why not Mommy Keane from the Family Circus, Dottie Winslow (Marmaduke), Alice Mitchell (Dennis the Menace) and Peppermint Patty and Marcie as alternates?

  124. mere cog in the machine
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    112: Was Elly ever really “fetching”?? Maybe it’s just hard for me to internalize, being as both she and her husband look more and more like ungulates with each passing strip. Now Mike, he is undeniably fetching; which just goes to show you how sick and twisted Lynn Johnston truly is.

  125. Niall
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    I don’t have time for full snarkage, but some must be commented upon:

    BC: first Wiley’s dictionary I found funny

    Curtis: This is “humour” and not humour, right?

    Dennis: FUNNY!! Oh god I actually laughed! Well, much funnier than my usual expectations anyway.


    JP: to the bottom of the brownies mystery!

    MT: Cancer doesn’t work that way!!!

    Big Dog: Is he sleeping or is he… *brain bleach*

    My Cage: Another great insight into character development and office relationships all in four panels

    Phantom: uh, so they’re having a crossover with Wonder Woman next??

    SlyFx: This was really funny, and it answered the longstanding question of what was the relationship between Bonnie and BooBoo – siblings!

    TDIET: “Zuper Catmobile X-5″? Is this a car or a Thunderbird? :) Plus, actually funny cuz true. Oh yeah-h-h-h!

  126. Loopina
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    #113: Oh, I forgot all about Dick Tracy! I used to like that cartoon. It was on tv when I was just starting to discover my own burgoening snarkiness. It was great – his un-PC sidekicks did all the work, and DT himself showed up at the end to grab the glory.

    Also forgot about the Katzenjammers! I got a neat DVD from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart that has two of them. Also a couple with the Little King. I didn’t know that was a comic strip – one cartoon had the King and Betty Boop. Were they related, ie drawn by the same person? And a dumb question: Is Henry/Funniest Living American, the same as the Yellow Kid? Or do they just have the same shaped head.

  127. Uncle Lumpy
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #124 mere cog –

    Fetching Elly.

  128. commodorejohn
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #124 mere cog in the machine – I dunno, she doesn’t look too shabby in the reruns we’ve been seeing, and you can almost imagine she was kinda hot back when the two first got married.

  129. commodorejohn
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    #125 Niall – Ah, so Bonnie and Boo-Boo are siblings. Which makes it even more disturbing that he’s apparently wearing her skirt.

  130. hugh_jackman
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: How many fucking times can the-woman-searching-for-pity-by-opening-herself-up-to-criticism thing be played…in any media? Wasn’t this adeptly handled on the comics page by Fox Trot many years ago? And I’m sure this is charted fucking territory on something like “Everybody Loves Raymond” or some bullshit.

    FC: Nice purple turtleneck sweater, Jeffy.

  131. mere cog in the machine
    January 12th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy and commodorejohn: I am forced to admit that the Elly from years past does, in fact, qualify as fetching. I had to fight through alot of bitterness and hatred to make that painful admission. Whew! I am exhausted.

  132. angry beaver
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    #74–I vaguely remember those. The Easter one for some odd reason stays with me, guess its because when Dolly sings she suddenly has the voice of a 40something cabaret singer.

  133. g-rant
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    i thought “the gift inside” was code for her vagina.

  134. Rusty
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    #131: But as Josh so adroitly pointed out, the original Elly no longer exists, and no signs of her can be seen in the battle axe that stands before us today. Except for that inappropriate hair.

  135. J.S.
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Based on the depiction of Ruby, the artist for Apartment 3G does not understand how hair works.

  136. Shermy Glamrocker
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    I could be wrong, and probably am, but didn’t the whole Chester Non-Story begin while there was another plotline in play?

    Wasn’t there some lame reason why Mary was riding her bike and “clearing her thoughts.”

  137. Uncle Lumpy
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    #131 mere cog –

    Well, I think we made some real progress here today — wow, time’s almost up! See you next week for “You know, Tom Batiuk’s really a pretty good artist.”

  138. Dingo
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Grab a brandy, start here and then go back.

  139. Deena in OR
    January 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Ummmmm, Dingo? I did so, but why??

  140. rodent
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    MW Saturday: Huffing glue? Sniffing a jock strap? (118–I had the same thought!) Suicide by ether?

  141. Flipper
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    #97 Loopina: Benji searches for his lost dog Waldo in “Easter Is” from 1989. Here’s a link to a store that’s selling it.

  142. Anonymous
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]


    SM: I’d love to believe that this story turns into “My Fair Gangster,” as Peter and MJ teach Simon Krandis the finer points of etiquette. Sadly, there’s no chance of seeing anything that exciting here in this lifetime.

    9CL: It’s too late to win us over with talk of ear-nibbling.

    FW: There is a lightbulb over your heads. It’s inverted. Take the hint.

    S4th: Pinstripe silk shirt. Ted must really be wowing ‘em down at the Costco toy department.

    SFx: Don’t feel bad, Boo Boo. She always reacts that way to boys in maxiskirts.

    A3G: But will it be true love when Alan spends the whole night hugging the toilet bowl?

    Momma: Guess there’s nothing to do but move with him to the wilds of Utah.

    Cathy: What? The dogs dragged Irving out without his strap-on? More than I wanted to know about the Hillmans’ home life.

    Shoe: I guess technically this counts as a joke.

    OBH: Those scissors are… awfully sharp. And they’re in Ruthie’s hand. I’d be more scared if I didn’t suspect the cartoonists were toying with us.

    Big Dog: “… and when you’re husband wires us the ransom.”

  143. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Wasn’t Elly fetching when Farley rescued her from the river?
    No. Wait…that was Farley fetching April.
    Honestly, I get so confused at times.

  144. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    You know, weirdly, I actually kind of liked today’s Shoe. That may be partly just because I generally find the strip to be rather labored and hence not particularly amusing, and so any departure from the usual counts as an improvement.

    When a strip usually comes across as forced, it can be a refreshing change when the joke, mediocre though it may be, actually resembles things that people say in everyday conversation.

    Speaking of which, I remember being pleased with the January 8th One Big Happy for similar reasons. You may think I’m crazy, and you may be saying to yourself, “Where’s the punchline? Where’s the joke?” But the thing is, the Jan. 8 OBH at least seems reminiscent of real kid interaction. Contrast this with January 7th, which seems way too forced. As some folks here have remarked, would Ruthie even have encountered a word like “saloon”?

    Generally, I’ve been pleased with this week’s OBH and find it a bit more true-to-life and less “forced cutesy” than the strip has appeared to me in the past.

  145. Bathless Groggins
    January 12th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    #138-139, I think Dingo just wanted us to know what Javier Bardem was doing before lightning struck with “No Country for Old Men.”

  146. True Fable
    January 12th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    # 138 Dingo – LOL, oh that guy cracks me up! Forest Frolic, indeed.

    Out of a sense of curiosity I went back as you suggested, and read the page. Then I came upon the sentence, “But when I finally made myself some good blue shimmery tights, these combinations really started to make nice dancing costumes, for ‘clubing’ “.

    Comparatively speaking, when I scrolled on down and saw the every day wear, I said well damn that is just boring fashion right there.

    So says a plushie maker, I guess I really have no room to talk. Gotta give the guy credit though, he obviously enjoys what he’s doing.

  147. bats :[
    January 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    138. Dingo: I haven’t gone to this fellow’s site in a couple of years, but all I can say is hurrah for anyone who is so comfortable in his skin (or satin, or velvet). A rather nice “darn the torpedoes, I’m having a great time!” attitude.

  148. Stephanie
    January 12th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Perhaps it was Lu-Ann who dropped this.

  149. Deena in OR
    January 12th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    I have a friend here in town who directs community theatre shows who is pretty much that comfortable with himself. :) Purple wigs and all. He’s been an inspiration as I work on living an authentic life. More power to them, I say!

  150. NightRaven
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Regarding comic strips turned movies, observe:
    Snuffy Smith!

    I didn’t find any FOOB videos on the ‘tube though, but I did find a Mafalda one. Boy, is that one wacky and bitter cartoon for kids.:
    I really can’t remember the strip being like this, but then it’s been years since I last read it.

  151. SecretMargo
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    150: Thanks for the link! I especially enjoyed the line, “Well, we’ll just have time to play atomic war then, right?”

  152. treadwell
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Just what is supposed to be so funny about Dr. Burber being a bitch for days on end?

  153. Eloise at the Plaza
    January 12th, 2008 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    #118- MW- I believe it’s a tiny little doggie jockstrap. And she’s sniffing it, ewww.

  154. Hasty Penguin
    January 12th, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    I’m more and more concerned with the fact that every A3G comic strip features two people revolving around each other like they’re trapped in some sort of crazy video game boss fight level.

    I always picture them going into some sort of modern dance routine while making their comments, sliding limbs over furniture and playing around with the negative space. “No amount of the flooring will ever be trod on for too long!”

  155. commodorejohn
    January 12th, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    #154 Hasty Penguin – Indeed. I’ve seen less circle-strafing in a typical DOOM game.

  156. Kumquat
    January 12th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    #152 treadwell – Brooke McEldowney is overly enamored of what he believes to be his own eloquence, and is also something of an elitist snob (the unicorn sequence is an excellent example of both flaws in full bloom – if you haven’t read it, I don’t recommend doing so). Dr. Burber is Clever and Wonderful, and therefore entitled not merely to bitch out anyone who looks at her cockeyed, but to be applauded by all right-thinking people for it. This week is really nothing more than an extended version of the “Don’t tell me to have a nice day!” strip:

  157. Len
    January 12th, 2008 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    #77 (SecretMargot) — Note that little Ruthie has accidently cut through her shirtsleeve, and removed a huge lock of her hair from the side of her head. She knows where they keep the good scissors, and cuts quite a swath with them, you betcha.

  158. Deena in OR
    January 13th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Sunday 9CL-Like mother, like daughter.

  159. Vince M
    January 13th, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Loopina: The Yellow Kid and Henry are indeed two different kids. Yellow Kid at least had a voice via the text on his smock/nightshirt; not only does Henry not talk, he has NO MOUTH!!! That’s always spooked me.
    The Little King was another silent character strip, started in the 30s by the curiously named O. Soglow – both of these strips were in my old local paper (the Ypsilanti Press) in some kind of time warp, along with the Katzenjammers.

    I see the Little Lulu comic books are being printed in b&w digests – all of them if I heard right. I wonder if that includes the Halloween specials? (their attention to that holiday always marked them as very cool to me)
    If anyone here is following these, can they tell me if any issue has a story featuring Tubby in a barrel? That’s been a recurring image in my memory of these comics.

  160. Little Guy
    January 13th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    yesterweek Luann: And in six days, Greg Eveans created the reset button. and he saw it was good.

  161. Hemingway Complex
    January 13th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    So, now is that whole Mary Worth-has-a-dog storyline done, or are we going to be subjected to long weeks of pontification about animals again? If we’re moving on, what’s your money on for the next topic?

  162. Key Lime Pie
    January 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Toby’s lookin’ pretty hot these days.

  163. Evander
    January 17th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Re: FBOFW

    I enjoyed the fact that John completely avoided answering Elly’s question for the first three panels, only to turn around in the fourth panel, and say, in so many words “No, you aren’t aging very well, but I can force myself to ignore that.”

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