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Max Mouse, Animal EPA Bureaucrat was not a successful spin-off strip

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Dennis the Menace, 7/19/12

So, it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Wilson thought up this “bratwurst”/”worst brat” thing several weeks ago. The question is, how hard has he worked to make this moment happen? Because I can guarantee that the all the pieces didn’t just fall into place by themselves. My guess is that he suggested brats for dinner as early as this morning, then moved the sausage to somewhere unlikely in the fridge sometime after lunch, and made a request for Martha to start dinner just as he spotted Dennis on his way over. Even with everything as contrived as that, he’s got to be pleased by how well he threaded the needle and delivered his long-awaited bon mot just as Dennis opened the door.

Slylock, 7/19/12

Hmm, so it seems that Slylock can throw various creatures in prison for petty crimes based on circumstantial evidence, but when it comes to corporate pollution that could sicken thousands, all he can do is stand on the other side of the lake and watch the poison rise into the air. Perhaps his world and ours aren’t so different from one another? Except for the whole terrifying anthropomorphic animal thing, obviously.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/19/12

Do you enjoy solving Sudoku™ number puzzles, either in your local newspaper or in puzzle books you can buy at local bookstores and hobby shops? Well, now when you engage in this pastime, you’ll be thinking about the Sudoku puzzles having drunken sex with one another. Sorry!

Curtis, 7/19/12

Remember, the only thing Curtis likes more than money is serving his Demonic Majesty, Satan, Lord of Lies.

289 responses to “Max Mouse, Animal EPA Bureaucrat was not a successful spin-off strip”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois — Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC continues its paean to Popeye*. The “joke” here is that Ditto doesn’t want to be ugly(!) like the Sailor Man. Although for a hideous looking creature like Rusty Trail, Popeye is probably the epitome of handsomeness.

    *Beetle Bailey had a Popeye cameo a few days ago.

  2. Hibbleton
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    MT: Rusty rushes back to the temple and finds Doc next to a doric column.

  3. Karmyn
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: Does no one know how to hold a baby properly? That poor baby, born to idiots and carried around like a doll. And the growth spurts. With luck, it will be 18 and on it’s own by next week. We can only hope.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Slylock: In less than 20 seconds, can you determine which factory is spewing the offending swirl? Because in 25 seconds, its going to get very hard to breath and you’re going to feel very nauseous. Better think fast!

  5. Chyron HR
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MG&G – That joke is shameful. Mike Peters should commit sudoku.

  6. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    DtM: Long awaited alright: Ketcham, himself, should’ve come up with this joke much sooner than this, even as far back as the ’50s. Maybe he did…

    SFx: The ol’ fox is just trying to figure out what kind of word puzzle that is.

    MG&G: You’d have to be Plastic Man to be able to stretch something as far as this set-up/joke is stretching it!

    Curtis: Chutney sure has that hateful brat’s number: 666!

  7. nescio
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    DtM: No, Mrs. Wilson calls Mr. Wilson’s penis “the bratwurst.”

    SF: The other two factories are spewing colorless toxic chemicals.

    Love Is: She has a picture of her husband before he was gelded.

  8. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    SFx: ….or maybe it’s a maze…..

  9. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Maybe I’m a maze at the way I love you all the time….

    Sorry.

  10. S.Stout
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Slylock: There’s no answer written backwards. I guess that’s to teach kids there’s no answer to rampant pollution, so it doesn’t matter which smoke turns black because life is brutal.

    DtM: Little did George know, Martha instead bought a 12 pack of Surge™ for Dennis.

  11. Cal
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    9CL: Amos thinks he’s not in love with Edda because she’s never made him sick to his stomach. Except, of course, for all that hot sex they seem to have nonstop and for the time he got sick to his stomach thinking she was pregnant…

    No, but seriously. Sometimes love just happens gradually. My partner and I dated happily and casually for over 2 years before deciding to become roommates — more amicable than violently infatuated, but nonetheless real and lasting.

  12. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A3G-And you’ll be the best because you are going to raise the child with Scott. I never wanted the kid in the first place. I had her forced upon me by Scott.

    FC-God how I hate those Australian kids so much.

    Pluggers-You see, Mark, even Pluggers take their kids fishing and they’re anthropomorphic bears.

    MW-Do you know “Nearer My God To Thee”, Dawn?

    MW 2-It is time to panic, Dawn. It is time to crack open the heads of your fellow passengers and feast on the gooieness inside.

    Love Is-Looking at the picture he took of you giving him a blow job.

    JP-The closet thing we have venison in Hollywood is something called city deer which is just dead homeless people.

  13. BeckoningChasm
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    I wonder what that little black mouse is, standing next to Shylock. A vole or something? It can’t be a mouse, it’s much too tiny and doesn’t wear a hat.

  14. McManx
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois — As Rocky noted, Popeye has been a guest in the Walker-Browne strips. Is there some notable Popeye anniversary we’ve missed?

    Family Circus — …And this morning, as in every morning, little children in Australia go with their families to sunrise mass and praise the Great Goddess Dolly for once again lifting the veil of darkness and leading them into day out of another terrifying night down under.

    Phantom — And who’d thought we be reading about Lucha Libre for about 12 weeks in a comic strip.

    Mary Worth — Dawn’s face keeps morphing as her panic rises.

    Judge Parker — Soon the mystery will be revealed that Bubba is actually Captain Morgan, and this lodge is actually his pirate distillery.

  15. Ed Dravecky
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    with the infant’s rapid aging, shifting hair color, Nina’s insistence that Tommie be present, and odd time jumps, A3G has taken a sci-fi twist and the baby is Tommie herself. Mind? Blown.

  16. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Latest Pop Culture’s Kids is noir up!
    (sorry ’bout that one, too)

    The larger mysyeries of today’s PCK:
    1) Did the famous Cowbell sketch really end with Chevy doing a fall to start the show? (makes sense in context)
    2) It took me THIS long to do an SNL reference in my strip?!

  17. pugfuggly
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    A3G ‘Dad? I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to lose the jacket and tie if you want to conform to the house dress code.’

    ASM This show might be a little more raw than I thought, because I’m pretty sure that’s a set-up to a masturbation joke.

    FW “…inside you’ll find a lava lamp. And a computer if you want to check on your profile on Lavalife. Hey, is that ‘Lavar’ Burton? I could go on all day, folks….”

    MW I know! Stand around asking stupid questions! That always helps.

  18. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#16): That’s “mysteries”. Dammit!

  19. Ed Dravecky
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    I’m sick of this costumed clown in Spider-Man and can’t wait for his inevitable humiliating defeat. (I’m not fond of this “Clown-9″ character either.)

  20. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Wilson certainly has a different take on the usual “book/movie treatment” story that is so ridiculously popular in serial strips.

    FW and FOOB both turned it into authorial wish fulfillment – the first book becomes an instant best-seller and makes the author wealthy and famous.

    Meanwhile, in JP, da Judge dashes off a book in two weeks while on vacation, comments that he knows it isn’t any good, falls off a roof, and Hollywood comes knocking. Sam’s admins throw a proposal together over lunch, Avery signs it without even bothering to read it, and we are off to go fishing! Now, for RMMD, an unpublished manuscript with liner notes will have a script treatment thrown together on the flight over, and will surely be optioned by that evening.

    Clearly, someone has an axe to grind against the movie industry.

  21. ScienceGiant
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Do Sudoku puzzles 4nick8 in a 69 position? Or is strictly for multiplication?

  22. Ed Dravecky
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Your cruise ship just crashed into something big, the deck is listing 30 degrees, and the crew is telling you “everything’s under control”. What should you do? Head for the lifeboats before the captain motors away in the last one. Or touch your face and have a sandwich. Your choice.

  23. Pozzo
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Kudos to MG&G, though, for resisting the temptation to put the numbers “6″ and “9″ anywhere near each other. Because if there’s anything more disturbing than Sudoko puzzles having drunken missionary sex…

  24. Pozzo
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Oops, looks like ScienceGiant went there first.

  25. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    9CL – Amos bought a ring. Edda saw it in his pocket and sprinted off like a musk ox in sheer panic. She consulted with Seth, and set out to talk to Amos, then bolted like a water buffalo when she saw him. So she consulted with her mother, tried again, and this time ended up fleeing like an armadillo.

    Clearly, Seth is right to blame Amos for not being properly committed to the wedding. After all, Edda is a Burber!

    Seth is physcially threatening Amos over the relationship, Momma Burber wanted him killed and the body dumped in a shallow grave when the possibility of Edda being pregnant was considered … exactly how stupid is Amos, anyway, to continue this?

  26. LUJBEM FEJF
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Screw Sudoku!! BTW- sudoku’s not trademarked. Now the Jumble, that’s trademarked baby! Let the cease and desist letters fly!

  27. Chaze126
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    GT – clearly that lump under the left side of Steve’s shirt is his supposedly missing arm. This is all a misguided attempt at eliciting pity and Gil will have none of that. Hope Steve didn’t get any tattoos or there will really be hell to pay.

    Curtis – speaking of hell, can we hope hope that nastyass Curtis and his punk little bother will be hauled off to there?

    AST – and in another biblical reference, we see the Mammon Theater. Yes, greed and avarice on display, featuring MJ. Is Clown 9 really the Avenging Angel? If so, what does that make Peter Puker?

  28. Mumbly_Joe
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    DtM: The best part is, you can tell that Josh’s reading here is absolutely correct, and Mr. Wilson orchestrated this entire thing to make this quip he thought up days ago -and pretty blatantly so- because of the weary, aggravated glare that Mrs. Wilson is throwing.

  29. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Sounds like Mr. Wilson wants to kill Dennis, ground up his body and stuff it into sausage casings.

  30. Dood
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Is Mr. Wilson pondering Dennis’ dad’s bratwurst, which helped produce the worst brat?

  31. Dennis Jimenez
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    DtM – Mr. Wilson sure knows his sauasages – I hear he went from a Kielbasa to Vienna Frank….

    SF – I knew in a glance, which factory was the biggest prick….

    MG&G – She shot me down – I’ll bet she’s got Jumble Fever….

    Curtis – An’ Mick Jagger swooped in on a broom…..

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  32. Marc
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- It’s ok everyone, calm down. Wilbur will get to the bottom of this and set things right. He changed a lightbulb once and went on this cruise, so he is a qualified electrical and nautical engineer. He knows his shit, so everybody stop panicking and return to your fishstick dinners.

    A3G- Between Nina’s mobility, the shape shifting baby, the totally unrealistic birth, and nobody having a goddam clue how to hold a baby, my head is going to explode with everything that is wrong in this strip. Also in my experience, newborn babies don’t really look like anyone. They all kinda look a lot alike. Besides Nina, how would you know what your mother looked like? You killed her, remember?

    Mark Trail- That horse seems to hate Rusty as much as everybody else does. Look how hard it is trying to buck him off.

    9CL- Again Brooke, not universal hallmarks of love, but like more universal hallmarks of psychosis.

    Luann- Evans is continuing right along the overly beaten trail of predictability.

    Funky- Hopefully they will all be trampled by a stampede of bighorns coming down the mountain to feed on the plains.

  33. Roxanne
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Oh man. Does anyone else find that Dennis The Menace comic actually really sad? Mr. Wilson is a hateful old bastard.

  34. Señor Tortilla
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Curtis: It’s spelled “cauldron”, you moron.

    A3G: It was looking like a boy on Monday.

    FW: Where you crap versus a crap drawing!

    MT: “Did you see yourself in a mirror again, you little troll?”

    Spider-Man: Crappy play. Crappy superhero. Crappy villain. All three elements of Spider-Man’s arc, condensed.

    MW: Talking is a free action.

  35. Doctor Handsome
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I know bratwurst isn’t nearly as popular in other regions of the country as it is in my home state of Wisconsin, but is it wildly mispronounced everywhere else? Does it sound anything at all like “brat” (i.e. asshole kid) when you say it out loud where you live? Or is this just a super-weak joke? Real question.

  36. Downpuppy
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Is Slylock’s world so different from ours? Well, yes. White plumes from factories on “Earth” tend to rise, spread and bend to the wind until they dissipate. In “S-world”, they appear to enage in some sort of aerial worm mating dance.

  37. Lynn
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Much as I am enjoying Lucha Libre and all its implied homoeroticism, won’t Phantom get all woozy exerting himself in a bondage mask with no air holes? Fifty shades of purple, yikes, that’s going to describe his complexion.

  38. Walker of Dog
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    SFox: Space octopus attack!!!

  39. Noel Schornhorst
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    So… the sudoku book in my desk drawer is having constant orgies? No wonder there were so many 6s and 9s!

  40. Holly Folly
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    I’m betting Skylock is going to handle that polluting factory by his usual means. And by that I mean he is going to kick the doors open and violently arrest everyone inside. You know what we need? We need a Slylock Dick Tracy cross over where they team up to take down that factory.

  41. Gringo
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Sorry if I’m late to the party on this issue, but does anyone know what the deal is with Dark Gate this week not updating most of its strips?

  42. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Lynn (#37):

    “Fifty shades of purple, yikes, that’s going to describe his complexion.”

    Maybe he is preparing for his next role as a backwoods gentle giant in Judge Parker?

    Seriously, that guy is purple. What is up with that? Shouldn’t all the other characters be standing around whispering to each other: “Dude, that guy is purple! What is up with that? And where is Poochie?”

  43. Doctor Handsome
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    “After a few tequilas, I bet that chick would Jumble us both. I heard she gave Jerry a Cryptoquip in the alley last weekend.”

  44. Mark B.
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MT:
    Rusty–”Doc, I saw something bad.”

    Doc–”Dammit, Rusty, I told you to stay away from mirrors.”

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Frazz: *applaz* after all, I’m IN that one time zone. :D

    AD: *sad trumpet wah-wah*

    Lio: squidlets!

    PBS: I want a poster of that last panel. *glee*

    Zits: that’s not all that’s up.

    RMMD: sounds like a JP plot.

    RwO: Art History WIN! *applaz*

  46. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . digital cameras, tripods and oral.

  47. flatsixes
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MT: “Heh heh heh… Why, Rusty, what you saw Cherry and I doing wasn’t something bad! Heavens no! Why, one day you’ll find out how good wearing a saddle naked while getting spanked with a riding crop can be!”

  48. UncleJeff
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    DT: A disappointed Sam Ketchum radios (err “wrist wizards”) that Dick was shot but it going to be alright. 60 years he’s been waiting for somebody, anybody, maybe even Dick himself to shoot Dick so he dies and opens the door for Sam to take over the strip. Not even Tess could do the job right.
    Sam decides to do a double-check of the crime scene…get some smokes…and go see how Chief Patton is doing.

  49. Hibbleton
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    A3G: Grandpa Gaines has brought over a dolly for baby’s first gift. Otherwise, no rational human would hold a live baby that way.

    JP: After sharing a tender moment over venison steaks, Bubba uses his entire marijuana crop to treat Avery’s Glaucoma.

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#7): Mrs. Wilson has bestowed the Chinese name of “One Hung Low” on Mr. Wilson’s testes.

  51. nescio
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MG&G: If you are going to go to this length to make a sudoku pun, you should draw an actual sudoku game. Still better art than Crock.

  52. Doctor Handsome
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Guess which ONE of these apparently solid plumes of airborne pollutants swirling and intertwining like the tendrils on Cthulhu’s face might be ecologically harmful, potentially!

  53. pugfuggly
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#35):

    I’ve heard both pronunciations (‘brat’/’brawt’) in Canada in about equal amounts. Usually depends on how pretentious someone is being!

    In this case, though, I think Mr Wilson is actually just letting his wife know that little children like Dennis tend to make very poor brät, so she should consider stewing his flesh once they’ve killed and butchered him.

    @flatsixes (#47):

    Dude, isn’t Doc her father?

  54. TheDiva
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I tried puzzling out the context in today’s Curtis. Then I realized I’m much happier when I pay as little attention to Curtis as possible, and moved on.

  55. Di32
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    MW: Remember… Life is Brutal. Get over it.

    A3G: Obviously, the artist of this strip has never held a baby before.

  56. fillmoreeast
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Those Sudoku have two-by-three rectangles instead of three-by-three squares. That would make them impossible to solve, I think.

    Pedantic Nerd Man AWAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Classic commercial reference.

    After-hours at Walt Disney World. (implied naughty.)

    meanwhile, at the Comic-Con. (PG-13)

    updated Tracer Bullet FTW!!! (srsly, folks, you want to see this C&H pic.)

    The Daily Puppy is a floofy Golden.

    Ready for the kiddie pool! (corgsqui)

  58. Doctor Handsome
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    I like how the other animals (even Max) are staring uneasily at Slylock, praying that he can determine the actual culprit. They all know SOMEONE’S taking the fall for this, and due process will not be a factor.

  59. Cloudbuster
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    ASM: “You might say — my clowning glory!” Yeah, you might say that if you want me to smack you upside the head for atrocious punning.

    @Mibbitmaker (#9): *SMACK!*

  60. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    People do realize that the “a” in bratwurst is pronounced as in “brassiere,” not like “that,” right?

    Brats are delicious, greasy staples of any Wisconsinites’ diet, along with any number of other wursts. We got cheddarwurst, liverwurst, shmecklewurst…we even have tiny little links that we eat for breakfast. They’re great.

    So, Dennis, I know brats. Brats are friends of mine. You, sir, are no brat. Not a menace, either.

  61. Cloudbuster
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#25): “… exactly how stupid is Amos, anyway, to continue this?”

    I’ll assume that’s a rhetorical question.

  62. mvg
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Both Nina & Scott have blue-black hair. If the baby looks like anyone, it’s probably the UPS guy.

    S-M: Why haven’t we seen any police presence at the theater? And since everyone seems to know that Clown-9 is Hardy Laurel, why hasn’t his apartment been staked out? (On the other hand, just how dangerous was his behavior? He disrupted a play, sprang out of the ushers’ reach, hit Jericho brand w/a blast of water & gave Spidey a huff of laughing gas. Dillinger he’s not.)

  63. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Among the strips Darkgate even bothered to update in the last couple days…..

    FW: They’ll be going to the bathroom in a giant Mexican wrestler’s mask?! Does The Phantom know about this?!

    FW: Joke is more like the early FW’s good groaners than the modern FW/Cranky’s horribly tortured malapropisms.

    H&L: Walker-Browne saved the good Popeye drawing for H&L for some reason. You’d think Beetle Bailey would have seniority or something. It’s like H&L is the daily Popeye reruns, and Beetle is the newly done Popeye Sundays.

    JP: Dunno. The juxtroposition is kind of disturbing. Better without the dead head staring at the feast. Also, less disturbing without Bubba having purple skin! (goes without saying)

    MT: “What? Looked in the mirror, boy?”

    Mutts: Good series. Kinda pushing it today, though.

    Popeye: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, says Mitt Romney everybody, sarcastically.

    RMMD: To Cinemax, most likely.

    6C: Why?

    S-M: In other words, not showing up.
    I agree.

  64. TheDiva
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: Amos really needs to sit down and watch this film.

    A3G: Nina’s dad is holding his granddaughter by loosely clasping her with his fingertips, not even bothering to support the neck. Nina has clearly given birth to a bouncing baby doll.

    FW: The majestic beauty of Kilimanjaro, ladies and gentlemen!

    Luann: So far, Tiffany’s worst sin this entire arc was choosing a screen name that makes her sound like a porn star. Not that a girl named “Crystal” should be throwing stones.

    MT: “I’d tell you all about it, but I’m having too much fun on my rocking horse! Wheee!”

    MW: “Well, I saw a movie like this once…I think you’re supposed to pose for a nude drawing and I’m supposed to stand on the bow and shout a lot.”

    Pluggers don’t want their children to be more successful than they are, which is to say they don’t want them to succeed at all.

  65. Cloudbuster
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The pitch meeting:

    Iris: “It’s like Chasing Amy meets Bad Santa!

    Avery Blackstone: “I like it! Gimme that contract so I can sign it unread!”

  66. Steve
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @fillmoreeast (#56): Sudokus are normally 9×9, but they can be 6×6. However, the middle one is not well-formed — there are two 2s in the rightmost column.

  67. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#59): OW! Don’t do that, my skin’ll turn purple — then I’ll have to change my name to Bubba and be stuck in Judge Parker! And I’m not tall enough for that.

  68. Spyglass
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    As it happens, I’ve been thinking about sudoku puzzles having drunken sex for months now, since someone wrote a really sweet story about that very subject last Christmas. Jumble and Cryptoquote also make an appearance. Don’t be hatin’, it’s actually really funny and charming (more than Mother Goose & Grimm has ever been, anyway).

  69. Uncle Cholmondeley
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MW: Whoops. Looks as if Dawn’s necklace disappeared again. In 100 years, this will not be a plot line in a cinematic blockbuster.

  70. Ian Beste
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#31):And Mick Jagger swooped in on a broom

    Really? I heard he drove a tank, held a general’s rank, when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank…

  71. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Amazing Spider Man: It’s the lame puns that make Clown-9 threatening, isn’t it?

    Apt. 3-G: Grandpa, don’t you know better? If you hold a newborn baby like that, its head will flop over! And in panel 2, I imagine Nina’s dad pausing for a full minute before telling her, “Ssssure. Say, was your mom wife number 2 or 3? I get mixed up.”

    Judge Parker: “Did I mention that by venison, I really mean ‘bratwurst,’ and by bratwurst, I really mean ‘HUMAN FLESH’?” “Oh, excellent, I haven’t had human flesh since the last Writer’s Guild strike!”

    Mark Trail: you can tell how bad it is by Rusty’s BOLD TYPE.

    Mary Worth: electrical problem, my eye. They’re out of bratwurst.

    Popeye: Special guest appearance by Mitt Romney.

    And if anyone reads Big Ben Bolt, today we learn the origins of Ayn Rand.

  72. HoytClagwell
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Fun fact: the real ‘Dennis the Menace’ (the son of Hank Ketcham, that is) must have been an exceptionally rotten kid. I read somewhere that he and Hank haven’t spoken in years. Or maybe Hank is just a dick.

  73. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#63): Beat me to the Mitt Romney joke!

  74. Lurker Bob
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    MG&G – Does it make me a geek to point out that the middle Sudoku is impossible? (hint: the number 2 shows up twice in the same column)

    On another note, why would the artist (and I use that term loosely) select the simpler Sudokus (they only use the numbers 1-6 instead of 1-10)? These Sudokus are typically for children. I don’t like where this is going…

  75. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    A3G-Hey, Fred, that’s your newborn granddaughter you are holding not a bottle of booze in a brown bag.

  76. Matthew
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    MG&G: Props, I guess, for being obscure, but really – what percentage of the general English-speaking public has any idea what the word “sudoku” means? And for the vast majority who don’t, is there a joke in this comic?

  77. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#42): Usually, when I see people with that complexion, they have emphysema. Just saying.

  78. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Popeye-If only Sam Driver felt the same way.

  79. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MT-Sounds like Rusty is describing his time in Vietnam. “I saw things man. I saw some bad things.”

  80. Santa Royale With Cheese
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#35): Greetings as well from Wisconsin.

    And though I am not native here, nor to the manor born (I’m a Michigander by birth), I did in fact eat bratwurst for dinner last night.

    Being a midwesterner, I have always heard it called “brot” (as opposed to “brat” like “bratty kid”). I did slip up one day and say “look at all of the cars at the Brat (like bratty kid) Stop.”

    One unrelated midwestern (Chicagoland) tidbit: I have a really bad habit of saying “Por-tee-yos”, knowing full well that it’s “Por-till-oes”. Either way, I prefer Buona Beef. You know what they say… walk in hungry, walk out with a Buona™!

  81. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Slylock is pondering how fast he can get out of there before the toxins fall to the ground and Max noticing that he is gone.

  82. btown
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3G: Nina, look! I found the baby in the King Cake! Looks like I’ll be throwing a party soon!

  83. Doctor Handsome
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    BETTER JOKES FOR MOTHER GOOSE & GRIMM:
    Male Sudoku 1: Did you get her number? Male Sudoku 2: No, I just can’t figure women out.
    OR
    Male Sudoku 1: Hey, isn’t that the really skinny girl we went to high school with? Male Sudoku 2: Yeah, I think it is. Never really filled out, I see.
    OR
    The male puzzles are crosswords, and one eyes the Sudoku and remarks that he’s into Asian girls.
    I don’t know, I’m not getting paid here. But neither should whoever wrote the real strip.

  84. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Gasoline – “DVD?”
    “Sí.”
    “Watching a movie?”
    Saw.”
    “Any good?”
    “So-so…”

    Hä Hä Hägar – I get it! He says it’s windy… and the wind is blowing!! This sort of thing is hilarious with Vikings, though oddly enough it would be boring crap with Martians, say, or WWI doughboys.

  85. Lynn
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    #83, this dialog would fit pretty well into Josh’s caption challenge. And would be better than Evans or Batiuk. But I don’t mean to insult you.

  86. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Hi – Oh, you kids with your humorous questions! Of course spinach won’t make you ugly! That horse left the stable a long, long time ago.

    love is… – Sigh. “Dave used to reflect light in such a way as to present a visible image to the photographer’s lens.”

  87. pugfuggly
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#83):

    Male Sudoku 1: I just met that girl.
    Male Sudoku 2: AAAA!!! A TALKING SUDOKU PUZZLE!!!

    Male Sudoku 1: I just met that girl.
    Male Sudoku 2: AAAA!!! THIS MARTINI IS MAKING MY INK RUN!!!

    Male Sudoku 1: And the 8 goes here….
    Male Sudoku 2: AAAA!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU’VE FINISHED ME!!!! TELL MY WIFE I LO-[dies]

  88. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Mark – “Rusty, slow down! And for heaven’s sake, get that ice cream cone off your forehead.”

    Worthless – “Every sentient human on the ship is heading for Deck 4, where it is said there are lifeboats! OH, WHATEVER WILL WE DO??”
    Write to Ask Wendy and see what she advises.

  89. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    FW-And at the bottom of the lavatory you’ll probably find the strips humor.

    Gasoline Alley-It’s funny because he is referring to a bunch of things that today’s young people wouldn’t get. And by young people I mean the people below the age range of ninety to death who read this comic.

    Gil Thorp-There is no water in the cooler. That is where the guy keeps his arm.

  90. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MT-I just saw a guy who looked like Mark shoot a bighorn from a plane.

  91. Jim North
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ever see that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation? The one called “The Child”? The one where Deanna Troi gets mysteriously pregnant, has a child, and the kid ages from newborn to toddler to like seven years old all in a couple of days? Yeah.

    BB: I get the “joke” here, but I prefer an alternate explanation where Cookie’s food has gradually turned Sarge’s breath radioactive. Sunblock or not, Beetle’s gettin’ the cancer.

    FW: “And right underneath us is the lava! AUGH! AAAAAUUUUGH! IT BURNS THE FLESH!”

    Luann: If getting more Crystal means the choice between more Knute or more Tiffany in addition . . . well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d much rather take “more Knute”, please.

    MT: “DOC, I SAW SOMETHING BAD! It had these AWFUL TEETH and BLACK, SOULLESS EYES and it’s face was all DROOPY and MOLTEN-” “That was just your reflection again, Rusty.”

    MW: Dawn and Wilbur start up a suicide table, but nobody else shows up. Life is brutal.

    S-M: “Man, where is that clown?” Spider-Man wonders to himself, tapping his foot impatiently. “It’s been like five whole minutes already! I’m missing my Friends reruns!”

  92. un malpaso
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: If it takes a kid (or anyone) more than 20 seconds to follow that path of smoke back to its origin, they may already have been affected by industrial pollution.

  93. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    DtM: Dennis dropped by while the Wilsons were playing hide the sausage. Thank God they were doing so in the most literal-minded way possible.

    MT: Now Doc will think that Rusty found his secret stash of magazines. “The women in those pictures,” he’ll stammer by way of explanation. “They’re not really dead. They’re just really good at playing.”

    MW: I love the idea that the ship is at a 45 degree angle, sinking fast, and the captain still tells the passengers they’ve got everything under control. Meanwhile, background character Kenny Rogers has decided that, yes, this is when to fold ‘em.

    C-Shaft: “Hey Ed, you know how we sometimes sit on the bench and shoot the breeze? I think I’ve had enough of that.”

    Better Half: Stanley is in favor of the soup in The Phantom Tollbooth that you eat to get hungry when you’re feeling full.

    Agnes: Hee.

    Archie: But Archie is wearing a short-sleeved shirt, so wouldn’t… I probably need not to think about this.

    BC: This is a very old joke. Generally speaking it’s only funny if you have the balls to insult New Jersey or Ohio or someplace.

    JP: Avery hasn’t had venison since the toymaker he used to work for had to put down Blitzen.

    BB: Ironically, Sarge was cussing Beetle out for mixing metaphors.

    H&L: Don’t be silly, Ditto. You can’t blame the spinach for that.

    GT: “Rugged break” is an interesting way to put it.

    Phantom: For that matter who would have thought that a guy with a strawberry parfait complexion could pass as “El Guerrero Latino”?

    Shoe: “What were we thinking, anyway? An airline that caters to birds? The only tickets we’ve sold have been to lardasses like our friend here.”

    SSmith: Are Low’eezy and Elviney having a smutty laugh over the idea that Dora was impregnated with twins by getting double teamed by two guys? Because even though it obviously doesn’t work like that, that’s the only way I can configure this into a joke.

    S-M: Clown-9’s greatest achievement will be crashing a horrible play the exact way he did last night. Doesn’t anyone in this strip have any ambition?

    A3G: “So have you picked out a name?”
    “Stop pestering me, old man!”

  94. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    RMMD-June is just jealous because nothing happened with her and Iris.

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    6 – It’s funny because… let me rephrase that. If it is funny, it’s because “run” rhymes with “Hun.”

    Zits“She’s scared and she’s cold. I give it two thumbs up!”
    Those aren’t her thumbs, Jeremy.

  96. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Luann – Now we clearly see my wisdom in agreeing with the poster who said they’d get Tiffany’s name wrong. I continue to hold that they’ll tag her with the porn name “Tawnee” whenever they want to humiligrate her further.

    Grimm – You can tell that somebody must have offhandedly described a Sudoku game to Peters, possibly when one or both of them were drunk. “It has some squares, and there are, like, little numbers in them. Oh, and it says ‘Sudoku’ on it somewhere.”

  97. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Smirky“Here we are at the lava tower… and over there is the lavatory.”
    “One’s a big ol’ pile of schist…”

    @Mr. O’Malley (#y34): For a scene where two people are having a conversation, they would shoot it three times. Once with both actors in the shot, once with actor A seen over actor B’s shoulder, and once with actor B seen over actor A’s shoulder.
    Yes. The Daily Show has used variations of this to humorous effect.

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#26): You mean “screwdoku”!

  98. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#60):

    Mmmmmmm! Johnsonville brats on the grill….*Homer Simpson drool*

  99. Horace Broon
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    ASM: “There’s still no sign of Clown-9. That poor audience must be having to actually watch that awful, awful play. Luckily, I’m out here, where I can support MJ without sitting through it again!”

    FC: Somehow, the Copernican model of the universe has entered the Keane Kompound.

    FW: I’ll give Batuik credit for this: I ran a ten-second Google Images search, and confirmed that the Lava Tower does look like that; therefore I’m prepared to believe he did the same. Of course, if he’d looked at the results a bit more closely he might not have made it look about the same size as the climbers.

    MG&G: I was going to criticise the artist for only drawing two squares per row. Then I noticed there were also only six cells per square, and there are no numbers higher than 6. So, yeah, the artist may have copped out of drawing a proper 9×9 sudoku, but at least he drew a functioning puzzle. (The hidden squares mean there’s no way I could work out if they’re actually solvable, which is just as well, because then I’d be the sort of person who did that.)

    S4th “We all want you, and to a lesser degree Ralph, to have the best wedding possible” is a delightful line, but the best bit is that this is Sally sugarcoating it. If she was being honest it would have been, “We all want you to have the best wedding possible, and regrettably that involves Ralph not burning in Hell.”

  100. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Holly Folly (#40): We need a Slylock Dick Tracy cross over where they team up to take down that factory.
    “Come on out with your hands up! You don’t stand a chance, Polluto!”

    @HoytClagwell (#72): Or maybe Hank is just a dick.
    Probably the latter (though Ketcham’s been dead for years). When raising the real Dennis got tough, ol’ Papa Hank shipped him off to a boarding school.

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#65):

    Iris: “It’s like Chasing Amy meets Bad Santa!

    Well the part about Iris’ father being a heavy drinker is definitely there, at least if the script is drawn from life. If she can work it so her mother is presented as a highly experienced bisexual, we may actually have a hit on our hands.

  102. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Clown-9′s terrible puns have been provided by Stan Lee, Inc. Stan Lee, Inc. providing terrible jokes since the 1930s.

    Dennis the Menace-Mrs. Wilson hasn’t seen the bratwurst in years either and by bratwurst I mean Mr. Wilson’s penis.

  103. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#102): Neither has Mr. Wilson, except by placing a mirror on the floor.

  104. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Luann – I used to live near Yardley, PA, which is where such (awful) films as ‘The Village’ were filmed. Of course, the local papers were all over this, and any chance to play up a ‘locals participating in the production’ angle was eagerly exploited to provide copy.

    Apparently, the Luanniverse residents are so used to major Hollywood premiers that they don’t even bother to try to play up the local angle, just inserting a final sentence into the article: “Oh, apparently local High School student and town slut Tawnee played an small, and therefore humiliating, role in the project somehow, who really cares, right?”

    Now, everyone line up for the the chance to spit upon and denigrate her for being excited that she was mentioned at all, and be sure to squash any notion that she did anything to be proud of.

  105. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4):
    Welcome to Delaware!

  106. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

  107. mollificent
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    DT: Is…is that a dismembered foot?

    Sigh. I used to be able to eat breakfast and read the comics.

  108. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I cashed that $25K, paid prickly old Maybel’s attorney fees and Foster’s funeral expenses for her. Then I gave hot, young Iris the majority, plust the million dollar movie script. Who knew that being so overwhelmingly biased could be so much fun?

  109. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#y150):

    “Needless to say, the reaction in the family has always been more “Wow, you got to be in a Clint Eastwood movie? Cool!” rather than “ha-ha, we can barely see you on screen.” ”

    The first Mrs. Shrug went on to a minor but profitable Hollywood career during and after our (amicable) split, mostly voice work but a number of small TV and movie parts. Her very first movie credit was a tiny part as Nurse #6 or somesuch in a slightly risque comedy, with one or two lines; nonetheless when the movie played in her (small) hometown the theater billed it as “(town’s) own (actress name) in…” and it did a great business. Most real people (unlike the bozos in LUANN) are indeed impressed by “you’re in a MOVIE!” situations, no matter how small the part or how obscure the movie.

  110. Voshkod
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    A single drop of sweat rolled down Mister Wilson’s forehead. Don’t worry about it, a soothing voice said in his head. You’ve planned for everything. The tarps are burned. The grinder is at the bottom of the lake. Everything will be fine. Now finish the job. The Mitchell’s doorbell tolled like a funeral bell. Alice opened the door, her eyes rimmed with red. “I know you’re missing Dennis,” Mister Wilson said in his most gentle voice. “I miss him too. I’m sure the police will find him soon. I brought over some of my famous bratwurst, though, so you don’t have to worry about cooking tonight.” Braut-wurst, not brat-wurst, the voice said, but George was going to have his little joke. He was going to enjoy this moment for a long time to come.

  111. bats :[
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s worse…Comic Slurper not working, or actually looking for other sources of GA, Luann, and 9CL.

  112. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#97):
    Batuik writes some fracking bad jokes, doesn’t he?

  113. Chaze126
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#94): is that why both ladies’ boobs are at full perkiness in the shadow panel? Saw that this morning and went, “Hmmm…”

  114. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I’d really like to see how a Hollywood wheeler & dealer would eviscerate a decent novel.

    Avery: Yeah, Iris, I read your story. Great! We’d LOVE to make it into a movie – but I’d like to develop the story a little for the big screen. “The Notebook” was a rave review, but it was a box office dud. I’d like to take your sweet, sentimental love story and make it into a comedy. Yeah, that’d definitely work! We’ll absolutely stay true to the story, but we’d add in a wise cracking gay guy as the woman’s best buddy. That NEVER gets old. There will be some sexy lesbians… I just got a great idea! You can cameo as a bisexual biker chick who is a recovering sex addict! We won’t even need an ass-double for the shots where you’re rolling in the hay. I smell ‘BLOCKBUSTER’ all over this thing! Love it!

  115. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#27):

    “GT – clearly that lump under the left side of Steve’s shirt is his supposedly missing arm.”

    “What? Oh — oh, dear, you’re right. So that’s where I left it. I thought it was gone, I really did, don’t know why I didn’t think to look there. Lose my own head next if it weren’t fastened on, heh heh.”

  116. odinthor
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Brat vs. Brat. — As a So Cal native, but with Midwest forebears: Have only heard the rhymes-with-”that” pronunciation of “brat” here in So Cal over the last half century for both child and food. And, pastordan, you’uns really say “braw-” in commencing “brassiere”? My! Here, if we’re pronouncing it carefully (but not pretending to be French), it indeed is the “a” of “that” we’re calling into play (but normally it would be “br’zeer”). Now, if we’re confronted with a brat wearing a brassiere stuffed with bratwurst . . . we call a producer.

  117. Government Cheese
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    MW: Guys, apologies if this has been discussed ad nauseum, but this shipwreck is playing out almost exactly like Costa Concordia. According to passenger reports the crew came on the PA system and said that they had suffered an electrical problem.

    In any case, are they seriously thinking of writing out Wilbur from the script? He did, after all, tell Mary it WAS JUST FOR THE SUMMER. Either way, won’t someone think of the sammiches?

  118. Baka Gaijin
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#43): Head down to the Target and stock up on wrapped candy. You’ve gotta be on the COTW float this week.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#84): Anaheim, Azuza, and Cu–ckamonga!

    @Voshkod (#110): If only, if only.

  119. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#42):

    Clearly Bubba is really old DAREDEVIL villain Zebediah Killgrave:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Man

    (He hadn’t been heard from lately because he was writing for The Blue Man Group, but they finally fired him because the stuff he was doing was just too dark.)

  120. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#43):

    Both sides were vulnerable. His partner was inviting.

    Jerry to move and mate in three.

    If you get all of the ASIMOV quiz questions right, you get to play Doctor.

  121. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    MT “Doc, I saw something bad!”
    “Bad, eh? That’s nothing, Rusty. I saw something nasty in the woodshed!”

  122. Anachrosaurus
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    JP: “Venison,” huh?… “Mr. Purple People-Eater, what’s your line?”

  123. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#35): Does it sound anything at all like “brat” (i.e. asshole kid) when you say it out loud where you live?

    When I lived in Chicago it was always pronounced “brat” so that it rhymed with “that.” The uninformed just called it a “hotdog,” which couldn’t be any wurst.

  124. dodoman1
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    At first I thought the factories in Slylock Fox were being attacked by some sort of enormous sky-dwelling cephalopod. Clearly, Slylock has not met his quota of jaywalking beavers and lotion-stealing frogs sacrificed on the dark altar, and now Lord Cthulhu has come to collect.

  125. Dood
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: “I got your bratwurst right here, Mr. Wilson!” says Dennis cheerily.

  126. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Anachrosaurus (#122):

    Now I understand! The goal of this whole plotline is to finally resolve the eternal question – is the Purple People Eater an eater of purple people, or a purple eater of people? Is our new character a villain, or a victim?

    Of course, to all right-thinking people, the question is easily settled:

    “I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what’s your line
    He said it’s eatin’ purple people and it sure is fine”

    Bubba better watch his back, his position on the food chain is the same as that deer’s.

  127. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#93): SSmith: Are Low’eezy and Elviney having a smutty laugh over the idea that Dora was impregnated with twins by getting double teamed by two guys? Because even though it obviously doesn’t work like that, that’s the only way I can configure this into a joke.

    Hmm… that would be fraternal twins who are half-siblings sharing a womb and a mother but with different fathers. Hootin’ Holler? Sure, why not?
    One of our dogs looks like she must have come from a litter like that – 6 very different puppies.
    Not that I’m comparing Hootin’ Holler’s citizens to dogs. No sirree!

    @Government Cheese (#117): In any case, are they seriously thinking of writing out Wilbur from the script? He did, after all, tell Mary it WAS JUST FOR THE SUMMER.

    My thought is that Wilbur will be lost at sea and presumed drowned. Dawn (and her heart) will go on, with a renewed sense of purpose in her life. And the cute Italian sailor who rescues her. Wilbur will resurface after being lost at sea, tanned and buff after swimming around for 6 months looking for land and subsisting on raw fish and slow seagulls. He’ll become fabulously wealthy from a radical diet and exercise plan that he deceptively describes as the “Mediterranean Diet.”

  128. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#126):

    Could still be both, of course (or the PPE may have been lying, or just kidding); see:

    http://fanac.org/fanzines/SF_Five_Yearly/sffy11-08.html

  129. Hibbleton
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    JP: “…see a doctor if your erection last more than four hours.” Bubba’s been purple-dickular for four years…and it’s spread.

  130. bats :[
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#121): woo hoo for Cold Comfort Farm reference!

  131. Red Greenback
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Ma!!! Curtis neglected to give our family a shout-out for no good reason!

  132. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): Yes, Cold Comfort Farm!
    An old favorite – I must have seen the old B&W BBC serial many years ago and it stuck with me. I don’t remember if I even saw all of the 1995 movie.

    Hmm… we need a mash-up of Lost Forest and Cold Comfort Farm. Imagine Mark Trail and Rusty in Sussex.

  133. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Not long after, Tiffany goes on the road to promote the film. A brand new midwestern mayor named Leslie Knope, in an effort to put her town on the map culturally, has the movie officially screened there, with the cast and production team in attendance. So, basically, we should be seeing Tawnee in Pawnee.

    Oh, God, I’m going to get slapped again, aren’t I?

  134. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#107):

    DT: Is…is that a dismembered foot?

    Teevo’s leg. It’s what’s for dinner.

  135. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#120): I was just discussing Asimov (only one cap in his case) on another group — his annotated Gilbert & Sullivan — with Matthew Tepper.

    @Shrug (#128): Nice article, but it really needs an illustration… like the one I did for the letters page in the 2006 issue. (PDF link)

  136. terrapin
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    GT: That’s one of those coolers that requires two hands to open, and Gil Thorpe is a sadistic bastard.

    MT: “Don’t worry, Rusty! Ranger Tom isn’t hurting your Mother.”

  137. Tweeks_Coffee
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    MG&G: I find the prospect of sudoku sex far less irritating than the fact this comic made me think of that horrible, horrible song…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N_xGQ3QKlk&feature=fvwrel

  138. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#133): Oh, God, I’m going to get slapped again, aren’t I?

    *Noggin rub*

  139. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#104): Apparently, the Luanniverse residents are so used to major Hollywood premiers…

    I just assumed it would premier at Weenie World, where all major cultural events in the Luanniverse are held.

  140. Alfred E. Neuman
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Slylock— Slylock must be in Texas, where our state government spends tons of the taxpayers’ money suing the EPA to prevent it from enforcing pollution laws. In Texas, no one, not even Slylock, is going to mess with our inalienable right to breathe sulfur dioxide!

  141. gnome de blog.
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Damn! I was hoping for some Rusty-napping. Or better yet, Rusty falling down a well.

  142. Écureuil Écumant
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#14): “Judge Parker — Soon the mystery will be revealed that Bubba is actually Captain Morgan, and this lodge is actually his pirate distillery.”

    And as soon as they douse the glim, Sam’s gonna have a little Cap’n Morgan in ‘im…

  143. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#138): Now I know how Lisa Lupner feels!

  144. Mr Foofram
    July 19th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    MT: Now Rusty needs to take his digital film to the drugstore to get developed. We should see his pictures of the bad thing sometime next week. Unless the bad airplane guys steal the digital film and leave Rusty trapped under a station wagon as the tide rolls in. That would be a good story.

  145. Écureuil Écumant
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Well, Jeremy, if you get really lucky you might get to give it two fingers up.

  146. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#139):

    “Weenie World, where all major cultural events in the Luanniverse are held.”

    Ah, Weenieworld. The Montoni’s of the West Coast.

  147. Steve Schumann
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    If you need help solving the three Sudoku puzzles, call 888-555-1212. 99 cents a minute and other charges may apply.

  148. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @HoytClagwell (#72): Hank Ketcham died in 2001. Unless the younger Ketcham has been holding séances, they’re no longer speaking to one another — period.

  149. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#25): He’s not stupid. He’s a bottom, though one who hasn’t realized it yet.

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#63), @pastordan (#73): As long as we’re doing jokes about Mitt Romney, have you heard the one about Sudoku puzzles and John Sununu?

  151. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#42): He’s not purple, he’s maroon.

    (She said, huffily.)

    (Gotta keep up the “pedantic” part.)

  152. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#149):

    If, after the dozenth time waking up under the seat cushions following a session initiated by her pouncing on him, he still doesn’t realize that he is a bottom, then he is either incredibly stupid, or in deep denial.

    However, both of those possibilities are prerequisites for being a Burber Thrall, so maybe he is in the right place after all.

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    TASM: The Mammon theater marquee seems wrong: It says “PicturePerfect” FEATURING JERICHO BRAND – M.J. PARKER.

    Shouldn’t that be “starring”? Or co-starring? Brand and MJ have the two major, possibly the only parts in the play, as far as we can tell. A “featured” actor is one who has a smaller but still important role, but because of the actor’s personal status or fame, is listed separately from the rest of the cast, after the “stars”, but before the “also appearing” or “with” cast members.

    // I believe actors, and their agents, are pretty sensitive about these status signifiers. J. Brand, as a big time movie star, is not slumming by taking a lead Broadway role, of course, but he would insist on being called a “star”. If he had, as a lark, or perhaps as a favor to the producer, taken a small role, he would, because of his star status outside this show, insist on being “featured”.

  154. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#151):

    Who you callin’ a maroon, beefwit!?

  155. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#135):

    Today’s ASIMOV’S SUPER QUIZ is (again) about sports, a subject on which the Good Doctor was not famed for wasting a lot of braincell storage space. (Though the all time worst is still the one a few years ago on “Female Stars with Tatooes.”)

    If they just called it PROFESSOR GENIUS’S SUPER QUIZ or something, I wouldn’t get so irritated at all of the ephemeral un-Asimovian pop trivia subjects they haul out. (Though to be fair, they do always do a lot of history and science things.) Though I’d still be irritated at the idea that getting nine out of nine newspaper quiz questions correct is rewarded with a hypothetical Ph.D.

    Tell Matthew hello from me…

  156. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#134):

    @mollificent (#107):
    DT: Is…is that a dismembered foot?
    Teevo’s leg. It’s what’s for dinner.

    Um, no. That’s Panda’s leg. Panda fell in the pond with the man-eating fish. Teevo was fed to the plants.

    // Pay attention! There may be a quiz!

  157. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#155):

    getting nine out of nine newspaper quiz questions correct is rewarded with a hypothetical Ph.D.

    Yeah, what do they think this is, Michigan State?

    (Replace with favorite Punching Bag U. name and flavor to taste)

  158. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    mother goose & grimm

    I’ll never look at a waste paper basket the same way again.
    I bet those post-its are all sticky, infomaniacs.

  159. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Okay, what the hell. That’s clearly Tommie as the baby, what kind of crazy voodoo is going on here?

    C&B – Feh, anything that comes in a can isn’t worth getting upset over.

    Curtis – As long as this ends with Barry being ritually sacrificed, I’m okay with it.

    DT – Boy, that fish can eat anything and not put on a pound for it! Lucky bastard!

    FW – I guess Batiuk’s attempting to make sure that we hate the other characters as much as we hate Les, so he seems better by comparison. Nice try, Tom, but it ain’t gonna work.

    GT – “Coulda been worse…I coulda lost the other one! *rimshot* Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be here all week! Tip your waitresses!”

    JP – I haven’t had venison in years, either, because when I had it it seemed to be mostly lard.

    MT – Okay, now how is Sassy going to horribly botch things this time?

    MW – What, did they hire former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf to do the announcements?

    Monty – Today, on I Can’t Fucking Read Black Text Set Against 50% Halftone, Jim Merrick![*]

    Phantom – Not me, that’s for sure.

    Pluggers – Pluggers all look to be exactly the same age as each other, even when they’re father and son.

    SM – Oh God, they’re exposing us to more of the play. Please, Clown-9, hurry!

  160. Perky Bird
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Slylock, Max, and the other animals stand at the pond’s edge in boggle-eyed, silent shock and horror as they realize everything they were taught in Sunday School was a lie, as the Flying Spaghetti Monster descends to gather His believers in His Noodly Appendages and carry them away to Paradise.

  161. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Apt. Three-Gee

    That’s not a baby!

    That six pounds of Silly Putty in Swaddling Clothes!

    Someone call child services, post-haste! Tell ‘em…tell ‘em…

    Okay, call the looney bin and let ‘em know they have a pickup. Right now they should have three straight jackets ready, maybe four.

  162. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#41): I’ve got no idea what’s going on with Darkgate. The only thing I can think of is that several of us recently recommended it to some commenters here, and of course, once you recommend something, it generally goes to hell.

  163. Shrug
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#161):

    I like to think that, because of its name, in APT 3-G the gravity is three times earth normal. This explains why newborn babies have to be born large, old, and tough, and why so many characters seem to have trouble thinking — they’re sluggish from the crushing force of gravity. Piano movers in this strip really earn their money.

  164. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    I like how Nina’s Dad is holding the baby like a clipboard, or like it just peed all over his jacket.

  165. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G-I’m sorry Nina but it’s been so long since your mother died giving birth to you that I forgot what she looked like.

  166. spacedog
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Presumably a reference to the time Dennis interrupted Mr. and Mrs. Wilson’s game of “hide the sausage.”

  167. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Amaaaaaazing Spiderman, standing on a wall
    It don’t bother me, at allllll!

    Snark in the parts:

    Panel One:

    Toupee Gigolo sez: “Don’t you want to know how I sprained my wrist?”
    Mrs. Parker-Man sez: “You always were a crooked wanker!”

    Panel Two: Meanwhile, at the Temple Mammon Theater, Spiderman has the worst seats in the house; he’s on the roof across the street staring at the marquee.

    Panel Three:

    Clown-9: Yes. Yes. Now it all makes sense. Clown-9, sir, you dream too small.
    You could be trying to take over the Big Top, ringing those Ringling Brothers’ clowns’ bells. What about Ye Olde Moommenshamantz? Why not try to become their ring leader?

    You see where I’m going with this, don’t you, spiked, rubber-bladder head? Of course you don’t because you are delusional and you are confusing your “clowning glory” with your “clowning glory hole”. You could be the king of the clowns but nooooooooo, you are setting your sites low.

    All I have to say is beware of the mimes. They are unionized and have mob ties. Like, the hilarious ninjas they are noone will know when the put a hit on you or when the wack has been done. They are that territorial.

  168. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn:
    “And, and…and I used streaks? You know? To show she was moving real, real fast? And I used the yellow crayon? And I made it look like she’s a rocket ship re-entering the atmosphere? Can you tell she’s moving real fast?”

    “Yes, Brookesie. Very nice. Now go hang it on the refrigerator.”

  169. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    MW-Where’s Mary Worth? She would spend several weeks telling us what to do in this situation by throwing out platitudes.

  170. spacedog
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    … the many times.

  171. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#160):

    I’m not the only one who does not put marinara sauce on their front door during Passghetiover, am I? Hopefully, no one does.

    //fan of satire; like the funny; not a fan of that meme. no offense. it was something that really should have just passed with comment years ago.

  172. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#167): Toupee Gigolo sez: “Don’t you want to know how I sprained my wrist?”
    I remember Toupee Gigolo from Ed Sullivan! Haven’t seen that little guy in years.

  173. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#167):

    “…setting sights too low.” *
    sigh. now I’m a maroon. A blushing maroon.
    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#151):

    * i hate it when i mistype that word. site/sight. shazbot! each word is so simple and …aaaaaaaaaargh!

  174. odinthor
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#116): Just to fine-tune things a bit, odinthor added: But, naturally, if we’uns were just to say “bra” (rather than “brassiere”), it wouldn’t be the “a” of “that,” but rather the “aw” of “work it like a cl–.” I like to think that, when CCers come to Southern California, due to my efforts they will be able to communicate about brassieres with the calm self-assurance and aplomb of a native. Next week, class, we will consider the dubieties of how low to unbutton your shirt for a casual Hollywood luncheon, and convenient strategies to keep your bling out of your soup spoon.

  175. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#173):
    Don’t worry, it happens to the breast of us. : D

  176. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and I don’t think newborns generally grin like that; they are more prone to crying.
    Give the poor thing some milk already!

  177. Poteet
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    S-M — There are some first-grade productions in this hemisphere with far better dialogue. The only thing in S-M worse than this play is the lineup of villains.

  178. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    SM: As Spiderman hangs outside Picture Perfect, Clown-9 interrupts Spiderman the musical in a strange meta-event.

  179. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#167):

    “They are that territorial.”
    and they tippy-toe!

    //so sad, i’m revising posts, post script-like, man.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#172):

    i’ll be frank. i’ve long been familiar with the name of that puppet, but, until I researched it, I thought it was the hand with the lipstick that Generic Brand used to say: “it s’alright!”

    I didn’t know if was a mouse puppet/ puppet of a mouse.

    @Calico (#175):
    sigh. i no.

  180. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#169): Platitudes like “Let hope be your lifeboat and let faith guide you to shore”? Meanwhile anyone with a grain of sanity would rather be faithless in an actual lifeboat.

  181. Mibbitmaker
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#151): That Bubba! Whatta maroon!

  182. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#179):
    Come to think of it, it wouldn’t surprise me if Ol’ Clown-9 gets out of the penitentiary and starts a career performing with mouse puppets. He’d be a bit hit at Exterminator’s Conventions. (though, if I were him, I’d go easy on the laughing gas; those guys’ sinuses are probably so clogged from the fumes and their brains so addled that they probably put a plastic tent around you, toot sweet.

    Which reminds, me, Ol’ Clown-9 should consider accessorizing with a tutu or three. He’d look fabu!

  183. Poteet
    July 19th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    JP — You call that a buck? Har! You may have impressive pot farms, California, but bucks, not so much.

  184. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Sam: So Bubba, what did you use to take him out? 12 guage?

    Bubba: Nope, I used my F-150. Damn thing broke the radiator.

  185. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Hagar the Slacks’ Helpful Viking Tip of the Day :

    Remember, fellas! From Memorial Day to Labor Day, Vikings shouldn’t wear white slacks! Mayhem is tough enough. No need to compound the difficulty with trying to gets stains out!

    //i heard that his tips o’ day were ghost written by his wife, Mary, the daughter of the Worth Viking Ever.

  186. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#159): DT – Boy, that fish can eat anything and not put on a pound for it! Lucky bastard!

    But after eating Panda, he’ll be hungry again in an hour.

  187. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#116): Indeed. We’d say “BRAH-zeer.” Of course, half of us would say “bubbler” instead of “fountain,” so take our input with a grain of salt.

  188. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#98): Johnsonville brats are great, but they’re not the best! You have to go to the little meat markets backwoods fishing lodges Dick Tracy arrest scenes butcher shops to find the good stuff.

  189. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-The cauldron is really a hot tub.

  190. Hogenmogen
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Sly: I like Max’s small, deformed cousin. He’s gone black with poison from the toxic smoke (as if the smoke from other two factories is sweet billowing mist). Slylock ignores the plight of the barbarically unclothed animals as he considers how much of a tax break to give the job creators on this smoggy lake. “Think of the local economy! There are hundreds of jobs here! We left you a trufula tree, what more do you want?”

  191. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#123): When I lived in Chicago it was always pronounced “brat” so that it rhymed with “that.”

    …and that’s how we knew you were a F.I.B.

  192. Ginger Irving, Romance Novelist
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: So … volunteer work … is satanic? Or, satanists are uncharacteristically doing volunteer work? Curtis wants to be paid to be a satanist? The girl mocks Curtis’ negative attitude toward volunteering with sarcastic exaggeration involving satanism? This is like translating a word from a foreign language with no known English corollary. Which may explain my feelings of ennui when I read Curtis.

  193. Baka Gaijin
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#169): Where’s Mary Worth? The ship capsized when it ran into her overinflated ego. Right now the captain and senior crewmembers are stabbing at it with oversized tridents, rather unsuccessful in their puncture duties.

  194. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#41): @Frank Lee Meidere (#162): I think it’s actually not Darkgate’s problem, but GoComics. If their pictures don’t load correctly, the Darkgate feed doesn’t update.

    That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

  195. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#194): That’s how it looks from here, too.

  196. Dennis Jimenez
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#188): ‘fess up – you’ve got an education at Weenie World, didn’t you….

  197. Dennis Jimenez
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

  198. Dale
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64):

    MW – Haven’t seen the movie, just clips. But was the guy standing on the bow because he wasn’t allowed in the first-class lounge where they have sofas to bounce on?

  199. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#196): Oh, I’m not educated. I’m just a man who likes his sausage.

  200. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#188): If I recall correctly, Johnsonville does make the best hot dogs I’ve ever had, though. They used to be called “German Brand Wieners,” now they’re called “Bistros” for some damn reason, but they’re absolutely perfect.

  201. Calico
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

  202. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#194): I think you’re right. And GoComics has a long tradition of screwing up.

  203. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#202): Hell, it’s practically standard operating procedure.

  204. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#194): @Frank Lee Meidere (#202): Hmm. On the other hand, I just checked a couple of the comics back at GoComics, and they seem to be updated. Ah — who knows?

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Nina’s baby has a twin in Borneo:

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XtTM8bu7nnA/UAcQvCeyAHI/AAAAAAAAQSk/1ofPtjERaMk/s1600/funny-monkey-discovers-hidden-camera.jpg

    (This one’s for queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando!)

  206. Dale
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    SLYLOCK -

    My answer is NO. Can you prove I’m wrong? So what do I win?

  207. LanceThruster
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    SFx – If I’m not mistaken, I think 20 seconds is the amount of time that the statute of limitations could hold corporate “people” liable for poisoning the environment (though with good lawyering, you could get it to under 10).

  208. Joshua
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#89): While the Frank Nelson clerk isn’t a completely dead reference — “The Simpsons” has had a version of the character appear on the show 10 times — the reference to “The Horn Blows at Midnight” isn’t relevant to anything. Frank Nelson wasn’t even in that movie.

  209. Doyle
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’M CALLING IT. Edda is going to have a love child with her blonde roommate and Amos is going to bitterly raise the child as if it were his own.

  210. Dale
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    bratwurst

    If brat is pronounced braut, as some have suggested, how do you pronounce braut? like “kraut” (out)?

  211. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    “A hot dog makes her lose control. Interestingly, so does a well-grilled bratwurst!”

    Okay, I don’t think that was in this batch, but for all you old Nick at Nite fans out there, here’s a quarter hour of their in-house spots, including three “How to be SWELL!” segments.

    I watched them all in a row. Now my head feels funny and I can’t stop drooling. Good stuff!

  212. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    And I think the “braut” spelling was an attempt to represent “brott” or something like it. It’s hard to reliably spell anything phonetically in English in a way that it can’t be misinterpreted, alas. I find it easiest to say what something rhymes with, but it makes it very hard when you’re trying to set down a joke that must either be appreciated right away or not at all.

  213. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Doyle (#209): Oh God, oh God, oh God! You could be right. In fact, there’s a better than even chance that you will be right. Just what kind of a world does McE live in?

  214. Greg K
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Mrs. Wilson thinks to herself, “Yeah right! The ‘worst brat’ is hangin’ between your legs; it’s been spoiled for a decade now.”

  215. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Now, I’m not one of those hifalutin,citified, cunning linguists. I’m just a simple, country caveman jawgabber.

    But, from what little I know (and believe you me, I know very little), the word braut- is pronounced with this sound: ä
    While, kraut is pronounced with going for the win*.

    A little man by the name of Merriam-Webster told this to me after I kicked his patoot! Not surprisingly, the all of Oxford proceeded to exact revenge upon me just because they were passing by and bored. You don’t want to know how much cussin’ a concussive blow from Oxford can force from ya before ya pass out.

    * sorta like how that raccoon in Slylock Fox is goin’ fur the win by grabbing at Slylock’s foxy wiggler. **

    **which is just such disturbed phrasing that even I’m more weirded by that than amused. Hence, the extra asterisky behavior. ***

    *** if you have read past the first paragraph, I’m impressed. Excuse any errors I left in.

  216. Farley's Revenge
    July 19th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#25): How stupid is Amos? Um-are we comparing him to other 9CL denizens only or to the rest of humanity? Because he fits right in with the rest of denizens but wouldn’t last twenty minutes in the real world before he ended up in a drainage ditch, naked with his cello bow shoved up his ass*.

    *Edda would call this “foreplay”.

  217. odinthor
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

  218. Liam
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-I feel like they are cleaning out an apartment that people haven’t lived in since the Seventies and is decorated that way. “We found this great big bubbling cauldron(hot tub), strange writings on the wall(Come on get happy), strange medallions(big gold chains), and their Satanic vestments(leisure suits).

  219. Droopy Says
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    A3G: What’s more amazing, that the baby has no name, or that it can have its entire body in-panel and still not show anything below the shoulders?

    Luann: Um, Evans? This kind of newspaper announcement is what you’d read in the Road Narrows Review. San Diego hasn’t been a small town since some time in the last century.

    The only question now is how Evans will humiliate the hot blonde chick who wouldn’t date him in high school. Will the movie premiere in a huge theater so hundreds of (unseen, undrawn, only hinted-at) people can share the mockery? Will it be a huge theater with almost no patrons, so Tiffany can be mocked and blamed for the movie’s poor performance? Or a small theater where only the strip’s core group buys tickets, and taunt the girl for the inadequacy of the premiere?

    Mark Trail: I am disappointed. I hadhoped Rusty would complete his transformation into a werewolf, devour the dead sheep, then lay in wait for the poachers. But the story has to wait until Trail himself returns, doesn’t it?

  220. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Doyle (#209):

    “9CL: I’M CALLING IT. Edda is going to have a love child with her blonde roommate”

    Almost.

    Edda will have an art child with Seth, and will then scamper off to Austria like an iguana, leaving Seth and Amos to raise the child as their own.

    When the child turns 30, Seth and Amos will finally reveal to her (of course) that they are not a couple, that Amos is not gay (only experimenting. extensively.), and that their mother is alive and lives in Vienna with the 14th pale descendent of Baron von Metternich. They will visit, but the child will not get the chance to meet her biological mother because mom is too busy running off to boink the Baron (that is what the kids call it these days) to speak to her.

    Or, something along those lines, at the least.

  221. commodorejohn
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#220): What does it say that there’s not a single aspect of that that is even remotely implausible as a 9CL plot?

  222. Dale
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#212): @tallyHO (#215):

    I like the “brott” representation. The a-umlaut look is what my dictionary uses.

    I fought off the urge to say the “au” should sound like in “aunt”, when “aunt” is correctly pronounced. Commenters, fight amongst yourselves on that one.

  223. Mr K Martin
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Duly noting the famous sailor’s recent guest appearances in “Blondie”, “Beetle Bailey” and “Hi and Lois”, here are some upcoming Popeye cameos:

    FAMILY CIRCUS: Popeye beats the living crap out of Daddy. The “Ida Know” gremlin takes the rap.

    PEARLS BEFORE SWINE: Popeye punches the crocs into a pile of suitcases. Rat shoots Pastis saying “At least try to be original!”

    DOONESBURY: Popeye and Zonker experiment with smoking spinach.

    DILBERT: Popeye punches a hole in Dilbert’s face. Dilbert rejoices – “At last I have a mouth!”

    WINKERBEAN: Olive gets cancer.

    PLUGGERS: Popeye comes home from a hunting trip with a bear rug that looks disturbingly human.

  224. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson isn’t the only one with a bratwurst problem:

    http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/19/fred-willard-arrested-masturbating/

  225. ArchieNemesis
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @HoytClagwell (#72): Your comment about Dennis Ketchum’s relationship with his father Hank was interesting, so I read more about it. Dennis the Menace originated when Mrs. Ketchum complained to Hank about their son’s atrocious behavior, so Hank doodled a comic of the kid behaving badly (probably not the response his wife was looking for). The comic strip becomes a cash cow. The real life Dennis (still poorly supervised, one presumes) enters his teen years, mom overdoses on drugs, dad remarries multiple times, and shunts the kid around. Finally, the grown Dennis ends his relationship with Dad, goes to Vietnam, suffers PTSD, and drops out of sight. Dad summarizes his relationship with Dennis as follows: “Just a chapter … a short one that closed.” Their true story is easily ten times as menacing as Dennis sneaking a couple extra cookies now and then. I bet Hank Ketchum could have penned a poignant strip or two about the true effects of PTSD; but instead we only get Batuik and Trudeau’s fantasized versions.

  226. Xanadude
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    If Judge Parker keeps up with the homoerotic content, I’m contacting One Million Moms.

  227. tallyHO
    July 19th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#217):

    Ow! you are makin’ me think about it?


    Out.
    Shout.
    Pout.
    Snout.

    as opposed to

    Aught
    Fraught
    Bought
    Naught.

    So, ask naught wot yer kun tree kin dew fur yoo.
    Go
    Out doo yer kun tree……i’m feeling a bit brackish, so hope the html helps not hinders.

    //unless I’m mispronouncing it entirely, the list above is what I was getting at in terms of sound. It doesn’t matter much. Dialects, regional differences, idioms, post-dental surgery elocution…..it all leads to a variety of pronunciations. No biggie.

  228. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Doyle (#209): o.O You know? I bet you’re right.

    Though it could go the other way, in which Amos provides the …means… necessary to make said infant, and then has to watch from the sidelines as his wife and her roommate take over the parenting.

    Oh, who am I kidding. He’ll watch from the sidelines while Seth takes over the parenting and Edda goes flittering on as obliviously and irresponsibly as ever.

  229. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#220): Wow. I can completely see that version, too.

  230. Snarkotix Addict
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#191): …and that’s how we knew you were a F.I.B.

    So that’s what those folks in Door County were trying to say. Huh!

  231. Sgt. Stoned
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: Drowning reminds me of Dave.

    Curtis: Let’s not forget the satanic masonic marks all over our currency.

    H & L: A more realistic response from today’s youth would be: “Who is Popeye?”

  232. Miss Othmar
    July 19th, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    For those folks who were wondering why Jeff Redfern was lusting after his niece, here is the official “explanation” from the Salon Doones site: “… GBT inadvertently mixed up the two boys during the course of the week. While Jeff is threatened by Leo’s warrior bone fides, it’s Zipper who’s had the crush on Alex. Apologies to the many horrified, genealogically astute readers who noticed.” Guess this lends support to those folks who guessed that Trudeau, Inc. hadn’t properly trained the new staff.

  233. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#200):
    Costco sells very yummy hot dogs at their snack counter.

  234. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#188):

    Yup, and doublely so if the small butcher shop is in Germany!

    THE BEST brats I’ve ever had!

  235. Mr. O'Malley
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

  236. Poteet
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#232): That’s a little scary, actually.

  237. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 19th, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#224): Fred Willard is paying the price for society’s faults. If men all still wore hats…

  238. Poteet
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    JP — Venison can be bought, Avery. Legally. Check the Internets. And if you feel a deep inner need to talk to the person who killed the deer, that could probably be arranged. Aren’t you supposed to have some money?

  239. Señor Tortilla
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#111): Well, about a week ago, even Seth nearly threw up at the idea of asking Amos to marry him, which is totally understandable.

  240. Droopy Says
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#232): Maybe Trudeau’s subconscious dislikes Jeff and Zipper as much as the rest of the world does.

  241. mollificent
    July 19th, 2012 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#156): If there’s a quiz, I am so totally fooked.

  242. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    FW — I’m really surprised Batiuk didn’t weave a mention of Lava® Bar Soap into Thursday’s gag. Maybe he’s saving that one for his version of ReFoob (“ReFunky”) 30 years from now.

  243. Jim North
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#242): “ReFunk”

    Good thing they’ll have that Lava® soap.

  244. pastordan
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#227): Brat definitely does not rhyme with out, shout, or orange.

  245. Red Greenback
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    DtheM: “Worst brat, huh?… I’ll be frank with you, Mister Wilson. I happen to know you pimp out Mel the whore to johns who are farmers.”

  246. Farley's Revenge
    July 19th, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#221): It says we read that strip so regularly that we’ve learned the cartoonist’s way of “thinking”*. God help us.

    *If one interprets “thinking” as populating a cartoon strip with one’s HS fantasies.

  247. tallyHO
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#244):

    Ouch. You’re right.
    I haven’t looked back over what I wrote but if I left that impression, I made a mistake.

    “ow-ooh”. is the sound the “aü” should make for Sauerkraüt but for “Brat-”, as is in “-wurst” the sound should be “Ah”! So that sound should just be signified with “ä”.

    Now, if I’m getting all dyslexic ovah here, sorry. I don’t normally write or consider these things. (surely, phonetics ain’t my thing, but, for several reasons, I’m attempting to comment upon umlauts (hoo boiy))

    sigh.

    From now on I’ll try to comment on “Rhymes with Orange” more often to make up for sloppily venturing into a conversation the origin of which (quite frankly) eludes me. But, it was busy earlier and I skipped over many comments. And, now I’m tired, so I’ll just wait for tomorrow’s page of humorous observations.

    Later.

  248. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    A3G — After looking closely at the baby, I’d suggest naming her Wallace Shawnina.

  249. Uncle Lumpy
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#188):

    Usinger’s on Third — the smoked ones are awesome.

  250. Mr. O'Malley
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#26): Take note of @commodorejohn (#200): it’s spelled “wieners”, not “weiners”.

    The sausages originate in Vienna, “wein” is what you drink to toast the emperor.

  251. Droopy Says
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Not Yet Fred?” Geeze, Scott, you better hope Ninny has a better idea! I did better with my suggestion of “Hey You!”

    FW: With the way this strip pretends to be entertaining, it’s really The Snowjob of Kilimanjaro.

    Spiderzero: Gruff exterior aside, who’s surprised that Jameson would go to a charity ball? A man who’s generous enough to give Peter Parker a job and take Spiderman seriously must have a heart of gold.

    Pluggers: Line dancing. I’m not surprised. Nauseated, but not surprised.

    Mock Trail: “And because they’re going to pack in, and not use an ATV or helicopter, we have plenty of time to prepare! Not that we will! That would not make a good story!”

    Mary Mirthless: A century after the Titanic tragedy, Captain Smith has once again found employment in his chosen profession. Please let him have learned from the last time, and leave no survivors now.

    Motel Hell: The cabin 6 experience has thrilled me beyond words. I can barely contain my excitement at the thought of how the impending two hours will pass.

  252. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    “Have you come up with a name for my granddaughter, Scott?”

    “Not yet, Fred. I was hoping for a girl.”

    “What? She IS a girl!”

    “I was hoping for a different girl.”

  253. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    MW — This. Is. Fabulous.

  254. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    FW — That kitten is going to come out of this experience just fine, what with the snow and high altitude and probable diet of trail mix. Oh yeah.

  255. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#249):
    Which town? Do tell!

    I’ve had same Unsinger’s salami and it was awesome!

    Gotta try the Amish butter in Mauston, WI

  256. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    MT — “Rusty, come with me! We’re going to go meet those poachers with no plan or strategy or weapons, and then we’ll experience some bondage! Heh heh.”

  257. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    GA — Oh please, please, let him be dead.

  258. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD — So now we get to watch the money handout. Yay. It’s good that we’re not missing anything. I look foward to seeing Iris go to the airport and check in at the counter and wait in the gate area and read a magazine and tinkle in the ladies room.

  259. Uncle Lumpy
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#255):

    MILWAUKEE OF COURSE!!!11! But you can order online. Seriously, the smoked brats are life-changing.

  260. Poteet
    July 20th, 2012 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#104): Iowa tends to play up local angles a lot. The apocryphal classic Iowa newspaper headline was “Iowan Witnesses Massive Mexican Earthquake — thousands dead.” But since the apparent mission of LUANN is to humiliate Tiffany, this kind of newspaper story goes right along with giving Tiffany a “best friend” who obviously doesn’t like her and is always giving her the needle.

  261. Girl Reporter
    July 20th, 2012 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#260): I lived in Indianapolis for about 10 minutes, and marvelled how the newspapers shoehorned “Hoosier” into every headline, including one above a story about resettled Vietnamese refugees. Hoosier Boat People Something Something, as I recall.

  262. Girl Reporter
    July 20th, 2012 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    And when I lived in Chicago I recall hearing a very nasal braaaaaatworst pronunciation emerge from many a sinus cavity. Including my own.

    Mmmm, 2:15am braaaaaaaatworst with mustard. Or 4:15am braaaaaatworst with mustard, depending on the license of the bar next to the 24 hour saaaaaausage place.

  263. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 20th, 2012 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “He has strange new powers… Where he had once been brown like me, he is now a light pink!”

  264. thebirdgirl
    July 20th, 2012 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    What the hell is a “caldron”? Is it similar to a cauldron? Surely not, because otherwise they would have spelled it that way, because these strips are written, drawn, and edited by professionals who care.

  265. Tangerine
    July 20th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Luann: Tiffany has been a really endearing character this week–melodramatic, enthusiastic, vulnerable…true to life for a lot of teenage girls. I can’t help but root for her, especially in constrast to Luann’s “I’m such hot stuff! I’ll go to a famous performance school–whatsitsname? Juilliard! But wait, maybe that sounds hard? And there’s a risk of rejection? You know, community college is really just as good, if not better.”
    Greg is really slipping–it’s not hard to make Tiffany’s character unlikeable, but at this point she’s actually admitting to Crystal that she had an unrequited interest in Quill and also that she was trying unsuccessfully to annoy Luann. She really is coming across as an insecure girl who’s trying too hard, and has a petty rivalry–not a bullying relationship–with an incredibly annoying classmate, and it’s easy to pity her since the only person she has to confide in is just plain nasty to her. If Greg were smart, he would salvage this by having Luann attend the Eyez of Zeye screening, realize she admires Tiffany’s pursuit of this dream, and stand up for her when the inevitable mockery begins. The two could have a moment of truce and a nascent (NOT instant) friendship. It would build on the work he’s inadvertently done to establish Tiffany as a sympathetic character, and it would do a lot to redeem Luann, who at this point is lazy, shallow and crass with no redeeming qualities. Give her some moral courage and strength of character, and this strip could be compelling instead of just infuriating.

  266. Dale
    July 20th, 2012 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#254):

    Wouldn’t Trail mix be pancakes and fried bologna?

  267. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 20th, 2012 at 2:57 am [Reply]

  268. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 20th, 2012 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @Tangerine (#266): That is an excellent idea. It won’t happen, but it’s an excellent idea.

  269. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 20th, 2012 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    MW:
    “I didn’t see it!”
    “Didn’t see what, Captain?”
    “Italy!”

  270. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 20th, 2012 at 3:15 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker:

    He gets too hungry, for dinner at eight
    He loves the movies, knows Scarlett and Kate
    He’d never bother, with contracts he hates
    That’s why old Avery is a tramp

  271. Ed Dravecky
    July 20th, 2012 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#272): Also, no killing Hitler? I’m pretty sure that’s mandatory for anybody with a time machine. (On the other hand, there’s a science fiction story that posits what drives young Hitler over the edge is the constant threats to his life by Jewish time-travellers.)

  272. Mr. O'Malley
    July 20th, 2012 at 4:53 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#260): Like the following headlines said to have run in various newspapers on the sinking of the Titanic:
    LOSSIEMOUTH MAN LOST AT SEA!
    ABERDEENSHIRE MAN DROWNED AT SEA: HE WAS A BUTCHER IN UNION STREET
    J.J. ASTOR DROWNED IN LINER MISHAP
    TITANIC SINKS! DUNDEE MAN FEARED LOST!
    TITANIC DISASTER: AUNT OF BIDEFORD MAN FEARED LOST
    NO-ONE FROM BOLTON LOST IN TITANIC SINKING

  273. Baka Gaijin
    July 20th, 2012 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    In preparation for Saturday’s Apartment 3-G big baby name reveal, I am stocking up on the jumbo sized commercial grade barf bags and I urge all of you to do the same. I predict CNN will be reporting an epidemic of reverse peristaltic reactions throughout America tomorrow.

  274. Droopy Says
    July 20th, 2012 at 5:01 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#273): Well, if you can prevent the Great War, then Hitler probably ends up as a failed landscape painter in Vienna. He was an Austro-Hungarian subject who got into the German army in 1914, which gave him credibility as a German politician. No war, no political career. Beside, the Archduke was a decent man and probably could have done a good job of reforming the Empire.

    Oddly enough, before the war Hitler supported himself by selling hand-painted postcards to some Jewish clients. And there was an SF story where a time traveler saved young Hitler from a time-traveling assassin, then set up a scholarship to keep him in art school. I don’t know how well that would have worked, but I like it better than the idea of preemptive murder.

  275. Bill the Butcher
    July 20th, 2012 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    Marmalade: Now, the image this brought into my mind is seriously sick. I really, really hope Josh gets stuck into this one.

    Luann: How is the editorial boards’ decision Tiffany’s fault? But in the Evansverse, she deserved it for being the Designated Mindless Bitch. Not that the True Fans would have settled for Tiffany tasting the slightest, teeniest bit of happiness.

  276. Mr. O'Malley
    July 20th, 2012 at 5:52 am [Reply]

    A-3G: What???

    MW: This is reminiscent of the famous story:

    Japan Airlines Flight 2 was a flight that was piloted by Captain Kohei Asoh on November 22, 1968. The DC-8 plane was scheduled to land at San Francisco International Airport but due to heavy fog and other factors, Asoh mistakenly landed the plane in the waters of San Francisco Bay, two and a half miles short of the runway. None of the 96 passengers or 11 crew were killed or injured in the mishap. A National Transportation Safety Board hearing was called to investigate the reasons behind the bizarre accident. Captain Asoh took the stand as first witness and supposedly said, in answer to why he had landed in the bay, “As you Americans say, Asoh fuck up.”

    Seriously though, cruise ships are not navigated on the basis of somebody looking out the window. Things have updated a bit since the Andrea Doria incident.

    I’m still trying to think of the silent star that Dawn’s hairstyle reminds me of — my latest thought is Natacha Rambova (aka Winifred Hudnut). But I still haven’t found the picture that’s in my mind. Pola Negri–no; Nita Naldi–no.

    RMMD: “Morning pounds”? Has Rex become a vet?

    MT: “Sounds Like Trophy Hunters” was one of Kurt Cobain’s lesser-known efforts.

    Jane’s World: The thing that slows your car down is not a “break”. LUJBEM FEJF looks good compared to you.

  277. Little A.
    July 20th, 2012 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    MW: Iceberg. As I predicted twice.

  278. John C Fremont
    July 20th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#251): Maybe Scott meant Right Said Fred.

    MW – I like that stunning black sleeve on the captain’s uniform. Very bold. Almost as stylish an outfit as the guy in the beret is sporting in the first panel. Takes a lot of courage to wear something like that.

  279. gleeb
    July 20th, 2012 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    Dick: You can’t keep the Rize ssters down. This may almost make up for my disappointment that neither Mumbles nor Doubleup were killed.

  280. LP2004
    July 20th, 2012 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Amos, you will be passionately in love with my roommate, or I’ll kill you!!!”

    It’s so nice to know that there are still true romantics left in the world.

  281. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 20th, 2012 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#282):

    And didn’t Edda just confess to Seth that she doesn’t feel that way about Amos, but daydreams about Seth instead?

    Oh, wait, she is a Burber. So this type of behavior is endearingly flighty in her. Only her thrall must be unhealthily obsessed in love.

  282. Vanya
    July 20th, 2012 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#278): But MW is reminiscent of this winter’s headlines – they writers appear to be repeating the Costa Concordia incident. With two major changes to reflect the MW audience – 1) no one in MW may look or speak Italian (awfully foreign), and the Captain’s Romanian girlfriend has failed to appear so far.

  283. pastordan
    July 20th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#249): Better yet, pick them up at the Sprecher brewery in Glendale. Yum.

  284. LUJBEM FEJF
    July 20th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#250): You’re right! Dang. I’ll blame the editors again. They’re in Chicago and should know the correct spelling of the hot dog institution.

  285. Mr. O\'Malley (Actually Mrs. O' Malley)
    July 20th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    I just happened to be on the computer this morning and was going to log off my husband’s side when I saw the discussion on how to pronounce au versus aü in German. Having been a German major and living in Germany I just couldn’t let this pass.

    1. aü – this combination does not exist in German spelling. It would be äu – this is the plural form and is pronounce “oy” like in Yiddish.
    2. au – is pronounce like “ow” so kraut and braut would be “krowt” and “browt”
    3. a – is pronounced like “ah” so brat is pronounced like “braht”

    “Mrs.” O’Malley

  286. odinthor
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

  287. Bill the Butcher
    July 20th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O\’Malley (Actually Mrs. O’ Malley) (#287):

    “eu” is also pronounced identically to ‘äu”

  288. Bob Weber Jr.
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @un malpaso (#92):
    Good point!

  289. Vivienne
    July 23rd, 2012 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    Sudoku sex? Well, Rule 34 does apply to EVERYTHING, so why not?

Comments are closed for this post.