Running joke MADNESS
Family Circus and Marvin, 2/27/08
Marvin and the Family Circus have apparently decided to keep hammering home these appalling running gags until we beg for mercy. Well, I’m officially begging. Please stop. Please?
Of today’s entries, I find the Family Circus more baffling and disturbing. It seems fairly unlikely that any normal child — or even a Keane Kid — would have the slightest interest in CNN’s resident deranged, babbling 97-year-old talk show host, or even the vaguest idea as to who he is. There’s also something unsettling about the sight of anyone — even a snowman — wearing suspenders but no pants; in particular, the fact that they seem to be affixed to his naked hips implies some kind of kinky piercing situation that believe me, you don’t want to contemplate really at all but especially in terms of Larry King.
Meanwhile, Marvin’s ongoing “Belly Laffs” horror has made the subtle shift from “You know you’re pregnant when you occupy more volume than usual” to “You know you’re pregnant when your mass increases.”
Funky Winkerbean, 2/27/08
“You know what else is expanding rather aggressively? The angle of my legs! Check out Funky’s Winkerbean, baby. You know you want it.”
Apartment 3-G, 2/27/08
By coincidence, Margo’s dialog in panel three is also pretty much the sum total of her foreplay techniques.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:18 am
I found the lack of arms on the snowman even more disturbing. Eww.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I think I posted this a few threads back, but I’m repeating myself, because the thread was pretty much dead when I said this, so whatever.
After reading this Funky Winkerbean interview, I was thinking to myself, “Man, Funky’s a douche. I can’t wait for him to get cancer.” Then I thought about it, and I don’t think that Batiuk would give Funky cancer, because he deserves it. Then I realized, Funky IS cancer. He’s a cancer upon the strip, upon the town, upon all who see him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he CAUSED all the cancer in the strip. Funky is the Avatar of Cancer.
Makes the strip make a whole lot more sense, doesn’t it?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:22 am
1 Poteet, yeah, somehow that was what hit me first, too. Then the overall weirdness flooded over me, and now I’m just scared of what tomorrow’s FC may hold.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:24 am
MW: I can’t wait until Drew goes into the hospital and tells them he is resigning in order to associate himself with a group that oversees activities in a tropical forest. If only there were a concise and catchy way to express that information…
February 27th, 2008 at 11:28 am
From Yesterthread:
89 Rainbird: “Jonesing”, as far as I know, is still current, just not trendy.
Love Jones:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY6oWhJG8hU
Basketball Jones:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basketball_Jones_featuring_Tyrone_Shoelaces
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIbp5C-5WXM
Enjoy!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:31 am
The snow-Larry King looks quite depressed. Perhaps the strange piercing or the lack of arms is quite disheartening.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Okay, I’m totally at a loss at the current FC. Is it that he can’t climb stairs? Does Larry King not like suspenders? At least with the previous snowmen, they were lame, but I got the joke.
Also, the Pluggers “counterculture”, the caption alone would have worked. It wouldn’t have been hilarious, but a halfway amusing (by Pluggers standards) entry. The dialog pushes it into the confusing realm, though. I’m surprised Pluggers are even aware there are nations beyond the US.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:31 am
MW – Once again the free-floating Curse of Interpretive Dance strikes without warning!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:32 am
That certainly is some stilted dialog in the last panel of MW, not exactly your typical colloquial father-son conversation. “Vera’s action to pursue other romantic interests has, in part, rendered my current decision to travel to Vietnam to treat cleft pallette children at the Piece Village an appropriate course of action, Dad”. I didn’t realize it was so easy for a doctor to just quit his job and move on like that. I guess he doesn’t really need money anyway. If he gets an STD, he’ll need Dr. Ling’s 2nd opinion.
Widow Bull, aka Sam Hills with Plucked Eyebrows, is as stupid as the caveman she is ditching. Let’s see, even if she manages to escape from the lake, what is her long range plan? Is it as clever as Diver Dan’s? Also, since when do civilian aircraft fly that close together? Why risk life and limb to stop her now? Is she flying the Cessna float plane with the car steering wheel to Mexico or something? That’s a long way from Quebec for such an aircraft.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:32 am
You could toss Curtis on the heap of comics phoning it in this week.
But in comics slang, “phoning it in” is called “pulling a Curtis.”
February 27th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Ah, after seeing some pictures, I guess King himself wears suspenders. Still doesn’t help the comic much.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:36 am
My newspaper dropped a lot of the comics rightfully snarked on here, but replaced them with newer and equally bad strips. It makes you wonder (or not) how long it takes for the artist doing the strip to lose all sense of good quality?
I used to kind of like Funky Winkerbean back in the twentieth century, but now it seems to me that’s a strip hell bent on its own self destruction. Batik hates his readers as much as he does the characters in his strip and is probably cackling maniacally over how much torture he can put his remaining fans through before they give up.
For Better or Worse has obviously opted for worse. It is the strip you love to hate. I’d love to see a time jump forward on how Michael’s kids become spoiled wastrels who manage to destroy the rigid fabric of the Patterson family.
I can’t imagine that Mary Worth has any fans still alive. They would all had to have been born before 1920 and would have become octogenarian masochists to keep reading something so far removed from whatever the strip had originally been.
Bauhaus should get back together and record a new version of an old classic and call it “Mary Worth’s Dead” undead, undead.
As for Family Circus, I can only imagine what instruments of torture are housed in the Keane Family basement. It was the one cartoon that my local newspaper kept even though a lot of readers begged for it to be dropped. Dennis the Menace got moved from the comics to the classifieds. It should have been dropped years ago. There must be computer software that randomly picks previously drawn images and selects bits of past dialogue or stories and puts them together and automatically e-mails the file to the newspapers without the “artist” ever having to put pen to paper.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:39 am
JP – Gee, Bigjugs McMullet seems unhappy to find a heapin’ helpin’ of Biff’s doobie on her farm!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:40 am
A3G: Maggie foreplay = awesome
Garfield sans Jon:The greatest thing I have ever, ever seen.
GT: Still unlookable (sp?). Boycott on new artist continues. Only the “artwork” made it palatable in the first place.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:41 am
And what’s with the suddenly blood-red lips in panel 3?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Oooh, ooh. What’ I’d give to hear Margo say to me, “And brace yourself, there’s more!” Rowr!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Oh, I get it. He’s leaving Larry King Studios because he’s wearing suspenders and is downtrodden for some reason.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
There’s nothing like starting your day with a good Larry King joke, is there?
Bonus points to Jeffy Keane for pointing out that Larry King Studios has an exterior staircase with a handy sign telling you that you should go up the steps instead of trying to go down them.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:46 am
“sum total of her foreplay techniques” made me, how do the kids say it? laugh out loud
February 27th, 2008 at 11:51 am
You know you’re pregnant when you stop menstruating! Ha! Although all the women in Marvin are so outsized that the next logical caption is “You know you’re pregnant when a large soft-headed human emerges from your body.”
February 27th, 2008 at 11:53 am
FW: Yikes. You could stick a cello in Funky’s crotch, and I don’t mean that in a good way.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:54 am
12. Patrick, I’m a living Mary Worth fan, born way after 1920. I even thought of dropping my subscription to the Washington Post when they dumped it a year ago and replaced it with crap. I read every cominc in the paper every day religiously and Mary Worth online. Mary Worth is still is my favorite strip, even with the horrible colorizing. Of course, I thrive on just such pedantic, mundane, glacially slow tripe so maybe it’s just me. I just love to hate that smug, pretentious, meddling biddy hag. Better that than hating on real people, right?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:55 am
For my own sanity, I really should just try to not think about this whole “pregnancy is hilarious in at least one way–you’re fat!” series in Marvin, but I’m deeply troubled by the incredibly self-satisfied smirk on Jenny’s face as she types. She sincerely believes that this is A-1 COMEDY GOLD, BABY, and she is damn proud of herself.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:57 am
MT: What the hell kind of “community” has a police force with a humongous flying boat? That thing looks like a Catalina for crying out loud.
PBS: “Jonesing” is a trendy expression? I thought that went out ages ago.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
FC: How long, O Lord, are we going to get this Parade of Snowmen? Actually, Lord, keep ‘ em coming, they’re better than the inane spouting off by the football heads.
Marmaduke: OK, I know we all despise the Big Wuvvable dog-the-size-of-a-horse. I particularly despise his female owner, the sight of her toothpick ankles holding up her fat frame for some reason sends me into a blind rage.
But – the other day when it was warm, a guy was out walking two of the most gorgeous beasts I have ever seen – two black and white harlequin Great Danes. He was attracting a crowd, these dogs were so striking. If I was offered a free harlequin GD of my own, I would take it in a New York minute and to hell with the cat!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
My real question is; how did the snowman get there? As anyone who has ever built a snowman knows, you have to roll up three balls of snow, resulting in a pretty snowman, and a pretty ugly front yard. The Family Circus snowmen have apparently spontaneously generated in absurd places. Either that, or they’re real people that FC has maliciously transformed into snowmen for the purpose of a terrible joke. Either way, I just effing hate it.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I’d love to see a time jump forward on how Michael’s kids become spoiled wastrels who manage to destroy the rigid fabric of the Patterson family.
Ah, but you see, that’s the problem- Lynn would NEVER allow such a thing to happen. They’d have to learn some sort of serious life lesson, lose a pet perhaps, so they would learn the error of their spoiled wastrel ways.
And #2, Zac, you are correct- it’s hard to tell who Batiuk hates more, his characters or his readers.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Revenge of Chesnut 22
I think Marvin’s mother is smiling because she is not pregnant, never intends to be pregnant again, and is hoping this will keep the world from shooting out more Marvins to deal with.
That, or she’s been hitting the drugs a little harder then usual.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Maybe Snowman Larry would be happier if he had some GIANT FUCKING GLASSES. You know, like the most striking and easily drawable visual feature of the real Larry King.
I understand you can’t draw the smell of Vick’s Vap-o-Rub and cheap hookers, but I think the Keanes could have tried a little bit harder on this caricature.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
A3G: why does Margo have a turd on her fork?
February 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
You what else is expanding aggressively? Funky’s gut. Jeez. Lay off the mozarella, dude.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
My snark for today’s comics is even more “meh” than usual. Oh, well.
Beetle Bailey: Miss Buxley will probably be no less confused when she finds out that the full title of the “Who’s Who” that will feature General Halftrack is “Who’s Who: A Compendium of Characters from the Doctor Who Universe.” Accordingly, the article will identify General Halftrack as “Davros”.
Archie: I don’t care much for today’s “joke,” but I really want to get me one of them there hover hats. Ooh, fancy!
Redeye: Q — How do you make today’s strip, which features the use of severed hands as a trophy, even worse?
A — Truncate the caption to omit the words, “We ate the fish, but”.
Or maybe that improves it. Man, I can’t even tell anymore.
Dick Tracy: Well, maybe I’m not savvy to the finer points of collecting for fun and profit, but I have to call out Mr. No-Eye Half-a-Head when he says that Mr. Cole Lector makes a lot of money collecting. It seems to me that the money isn’t in the collecting of things; it’s in the selling of things that you’ve collected. Unless you’re into collecting money; in which case, yeah, that’s going to pay pretty well.
F Minus: I like the idea of a supervillain called “The Comma.” I wonder how such a villain would have gotten his super sentence-dividing powers. My best guess would be that he ate a radioactive caret. I’d also like to think that his powers would evolve so that he could use his commas as apostrophes if the situation called for it. In that case, he could change his name to “The Comma Chameleon.”
Gil Thorpè: I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since this strip commonly introduces new characters as though we’re already supposed to know who they are; but even so . . . What?!!! “Big Ray”?! I get the impression that this “Big Ray” is the father of A-Train and the other kids in the House of the Equine Son, but why does the first panel sound like Spitcurl is actually changing the subject from his dad to an entirely different person whose name is “Big Ray”? And how are the kids not measuring up? Are they failing to reach eating size in a timely manner? If so, then does the third panel depict a dejected “Big Ray” as he once again takes his leave with an empty meat sack over his shoulder and thinks to himself, “Dang! Looks like ‘Big Ray’ is gonna go hungry again tonight”?
February 27th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Funky is getting ready for a guest appearance on “Belly Laffs.”
February 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
You know you’re pregnant when you know you’re pregnant jokes sound funny.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
FC – The caption just says “family” so maybe the “family” who’s friends w/Mr. King is (was?) (is?) Dead Grandpa. Which would mean that Jeff Keane can speak to ghosts. Which would explain a lot.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
“Belly Laffs” is truly baffling. Where is this published? in Terrible Joke A Day Weekly? She’s typing, so it appears not to be a comic strip; one has to imagine the joke without the accompanying picture, which, to be fair, would make it easier to ignore.
And do comic writers type with a smug, self-satisfied grin on their faces? No they do not. They grimly churn out joke after joke, hoping beyond hope that the next one will get them that coveted writing position on Leno so they can stop trying to be funny.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
“And though its been said, many times many ways…”
SHOULDN’T IT READ ‘OUR COOL FRIENDS?
It would seem that the ‘joke’ and the Keene family are so horrifying that Bil ‘n Jeff are not so subtly disassociating themselves form the nightmare running gag snowmen.
Or maybe it’s just Thel’s friend. Wasn’t Larry married to Thel at some point?
February 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
The snowman’s suspenders are holding up his big giant (snow)ball.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I’m pretty sure that my paper ran the Family Circus somehow without the Larry King sign, because I remember looking at it for at least a minute trying to figure out if I wasnt getting it or whether there just wasn’t a joke there. Turns out it was all of the above.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
FBOFW: I’ll play devil’s advocate and suggest that the never-explained reason Dee was in the crawlspace was to put Michael’s old hockey gear in there for Robin to use when he’s older.
And the reason that’s “playing the devil’s advocate” is because Lynn is most likely the devil.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I am also disturbed by the lack of arms on the FC snowman. The earlier snowmen had arms, why not this one? I’m guessing the Keanes were short on ideas, watched Larry King, and hastily drew the comic before the deadline. I’m also with 28 regarding the glasses.
Also, why does he look so morose? Is this pre-St. Jahn’s Wort? (Did anyone else hear those ads?)
February 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Maybe Larry King snowman is sad because he just heard about William F. Buckley, Jr., snowman:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/27/business/media/27cnd-buckley.html?hp
February 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Just to give you guys a head’s up–if you haven’t noticed already–I f***ed up on today’s “Sally Forth” (yeah, I’m a professional).
In short, I meant “January,” not “February”:
http://francescoexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2008/02/actually-i-uh-meant-january.html
Also, in the spirit of “Garfield Minus Garfield,” here’s “Sally Forth Minus Sally Forth”:
http://francescoexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2008/02/sally-forth-minus-sally-forth.html
February 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
FC: “Cool” and “Larry King”? does not compute.
PBS: Nope, “jonesing” is not in any way trendy.
Lio: Liked Lio’s dad looking over a sail boat magazine, then resignedly switching to a home repair magazine.
GF: Satchel is right.
FW: Gad, the title character is such a !@#$$%&* prick. The interviewer must be thinking “If this were the musical Pal Joey, at least I’d get to sing ‘Zip’ afterwards.”
Sally Forth: Apparently the last non-G or non-PG movie Sally saw was “Pulp Fiction”
Blondie: If you want to do a two panel strip, do it. Dagwood’s response just steps on the the laugh.
FBoFW: Oh, just reveal that Liz and Anthony got married by a justice of the peace on the way home from Christmas dinner, already!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
#21. At least there is one. :-) I read Mary Worth the way others watch car wrecks. You know you shouldn’t but you just can’t help yourself.
#26. I know Lynn would never permit it, but I’d still love to see it. I was the one who wondered if Batik hates his characters or his fans more, though it’s hardly an original thought on my part. I’m new here, so I wouldn’t doubt it’s been said many times already. I can only imagine that life at the Batik house must be grim indeed.
I predict that the Family Circus snowmen will eventually meet somewhere and then march on the Keane house to mete out some frozen justice but Billy will trip over the space heater and burn the house down with all the snowmen inside.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I thought that Family Circus meant Dean Booth’d taken it over.
I’m stunned it was serious (and printed in regular family papers!)
February 27th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
42 Ces,
I noticed, but I chalked it up to Sally’s delirium.
Wouldn’t it be nice if all the cartoonists visited this site every now and then? Its harder to snark on someone you like, or someone who admits to a minor screw up.
ahem… Lynn…
crickets
February 27th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Snowman Larry King looks kind of beat down. He probably just noticed that Josh has paired him with “Belly Laffs” and realizes there’s something worse than melting.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I think Spoiled Wastrels would be a great name for a band.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
I thought neighbor Tim in PBS said he was jonesing for a plate of “hash brownies.” It was only the lack of reaction by Pig & Rat that made re-read it.
And contrary to what others here suggest, I still think Jeremy in Zits is keeping track of his penis size.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
42 Ces
Thanks for explaining that. Perhaps Sally was so tired she thought it was March?
I love your Sally Forth without Sally. I think Jon and Ted could share a room at the insane asylum.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
William F. Buckly died today. I expect to see a snowman with his tounge sticking out and raised eyebrows in tomorrow’s FC, as another of the kids’ “cool friends.” Friday: Vic Damone!!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
They did Larry King Snowman because there wasn’t enough snow to do Rush Limbaugh Snowman. Stupid global warming.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I want to try some of Satan’s pizza, if it’s so much better than Montoni’s. Although Montoni’s proprietor is very fat, a sign of good pizza I guess.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Some hump-day thoughts:
JP: I’m glad Abby has some scruples…accept no marijuana until it’s baked into brownies! (Also, too many clothes, Abby.)
MT: A fireball. That’s what we need here, a good old-fashioned Hindenberg-style fireball. Remember, only you can prevent forest felons.
MW: what the hell is this “redeeming myself” crap? So you broke up with a girl (or two girls)…neither one is pregnant, neither one is so emotionally crippled that they can’t go on living (I’m assuming Dawn got over it). Cripes, Viet Nam would since into the ocean if all the guys who broke up with girls went there for redemption.
Anyway, you go to Bangkok for redemption, you dimwit.
Phantom: well, obviously the girls have screwed up the first rule of Jungle Patrol…
RM: Please don’t get all Pinocchio on us now, Niki! A good, firm “I dunno” will take care of the missing money.
Anyway, Niki has other things to worry about…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2296670684/
(I was hoping we’d be treated to a final tirade by Lee…sigh…)
FOOB: ah….so Dee is giving Michael permission to wear the wedding dress after all! Anything to make life in hell somewhat more tolerable, I suppose…
February 27th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
MW: “Vera’s decision has prompted me to go to Peace Village!”
Translation: “I’m running away from my problems and hoping that Vera will feel like shit for driving me to this, thus making her miserable enough to break up with her current boyfriend and wait for me to get back.”
I know how you think, Drew.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
In addition to the two single Christian girls ads, I’m also seeing a parody from basketcasecomix.com . Anybody else seeing it?
February 27th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Drat! Buckley.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I’m not looking forward to summer. I believe that will only mean that Family Circus will introduce us to the family’s “hot” friends, who turn out to be annoying/baffling figures sculpted from sand.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
First, let me shed a tear that I no longer have Miss February Christian Single in my box ad; I’m stuck with Napoleon Dynamite: the Game and all the curly-headed, buck-toothed simpering that implies. Am I the only person in the world who didn’t like that movie? GHRAWWWSH.
On the more comical front, is anyone else bothered by Ethnic Pizza Cook’s expression in FW? I mean, a crack like that at the titular hamhock would normally be accompanied by a world-class smirk, not a deep-seated snarl. At least we can assume that Crazy Harry is trying to smirk under that mass of beard, but is instead gaping while he deals with a massive coronary.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
“You know you’re pregnant… when the stick turns blue.”
February 27th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
once again, Arlo & Janis prove that they are the horniest couple on the comics page. Thankfully, Arlo wasn’t trying the “hockey jersey” look from Dingo’s B&B.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
FC — I don’t think these are snowmen at all. I think the “cool friends” to which Jeffy refers are actually the frozen corpses of homeless people that the Keene children taunted in real life.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Let us also note the passing of Myron Cope, beloved Pittsburgh sports writer, broadcaster and Steeler radio color guy. He also invented the Terrible Towel. I’d rather listen to him ramble about the “Cleve Brownies” than Buckley any day. *sniff*
February 27th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
FUNKY ! – Isn’t Crazy Harry a mailman? When the hell does he deliver mail? I bet he’s got a storage shed filled with old, undelivered mail since pre-jump days.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I can’t help but think that I might be to blame for this “cool friends” thing. The Keanes are onto me and are actively challenging my resolve.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
JP: Welcome back, Abbey.
theyyou were missed.Funky: In the future, his pizza cures cancer.
Curtis: Is it me, or has there been a ‘You can’t beat up passive Gunk because he’s too quick” storyline before?
MT: Wow. Andy did get help. Okay, which one of you Mungeons called it?
9CL: This week, picking up on the “talk dirrrrty to Edda” plotline before Brooke got sidelined.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Marvin: “You know you’re pregnant when you look down at your twat and your twat looks back at you.”
“You know you’re pregnant when you don’t know if your water broke or you just pissed yourself.”
“You know you’re pregnant when your lover says ‘oops, I think my condom slipped off on that last thrust.”
Wow, this is really fun. Thanks, Marvin.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
“It seems fairly unlikely that any normal child — or even a Keane Kid — would have the slightest interest in CNN’s resident deranged, babbling 97-year-old talk show host, or even the vaguest idea as to who he is.”
Hey! My Rotten Kid didn’t watch Larry King but he was a big fan of Phil Donahue when he was a baby. I took him to a book signing and he left Phil speechless when he started shouting ‘ Pfffft DonaHOOOOOOO! Pfffft DonaHOOOOOOOO!’ . And during his preschool years the little shaver was hooked on The McLaughlin Group (he would laugh his ass off when the host would bark ‘And what do you say, Mor-TON’) and Crossfire (he stopped watching after Pat Buchanan left the show).
Oh yeah. You said ‘normal child’.
Uh, so I guess I proved your point, huh, Josh.
And does anyone want to know how I knew I was pregnant with My Rotten Kid? No? Well tough titties because Granny Trotz is going to tell you anyway.
I knew I was pregnant when Nurse Ratchet called from the doctor’s office after I had to wait three friggin days for the hospital lab to process the first morning’s pee that I had to drop off at a receptionist’s window that was located at the end of a loooooooooooong ass waiting room filled with withered old judgemental asshats who knew exactly why I was there so they squeezed their eyelids into condemning little slits as they noticed my naked left ring finger and so, finally, after those three days of twiddling thumbs after dropping off my pee Nurse Ratchet calls and she said ‘The test came back positive. Do you have any questions?’ so I said ‘What should I do now?’ and she replied, ‘Well, if I were you I would get married’ to which I snapped back, ‘Oh yeah? I was thinking more along the lines of prenatal care since you work in a doctor’s office and not a goddamned church!’
Yup, kiddies, that’s how they used to do it in the olden days. None of these crazy EPTs waiting for you right there on the supermarket shelves with their little plastic sticks for you to pee on in the privacy of your own toilet. Nope. Just a public flogging for the shameless hussy fornicators. Oh yeah!
Now go on and shooo!
I said go on. Get off my lawn!
Granny Trotz needs to go take her medicine and bitch about the good old days.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
#63 – Cope died BECAUSE he invented the Urine-Colored towel.
Also he didn’t use “big words” like Buckley because…well… he WAS talking to Pittsburgers…
February 27th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
52, meta: Hold Hand Grenade, Batman! I thought you were joking. Then again, I thought he died a few years ago (or was that Dick Cavett).
February 27th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Niki looks exactly like a blow-up doll in the second panel of RMMD today. That, combined with the usual subtext of this strip, makes my stomach hurt.
Today’s “Pluggers” is weird and depressing. Can I assume that regular Plugger culture is NASCAR, Wal-Mart, and “Dancing with the Stars,” with no thought to political matters or similar current events? Ugh.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
In the interest of strict accuracy, the past few Marvins were more about surface area than volume. Sure, there’s a well-known upper-bound relationship involved, but…
…say, I just realized that Marvin is actually very similar to the isoperimetric inequality. In terms of humor content.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I think today is the day we can officially say that Sally has been married to Ted Forth for too long.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
# 58 – I believe that will only mean that Family Circus will introduce us to the family’s “hot” friends …
…who turn out to be Christian. And single.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I think Bil Keane is going to replace the entire family with snowmen, then wait ’til summer and kill of this strip once and for all.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
FC – As Dolly might say, this strains my suspenders of disbelief.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Oh, Brownie…..by all accounts, Cope was a wonderful guy and he donated everything he made off the Towel to charity.
Besides, the Towel is gold. If your urine is that color, you need to stay hydrated better.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Reading this blog everyday is not helping reduce my tendency to take everything the wrong way. I swear, even the most innocent things now call for a “That’s what she said!” or “If you know what I mean…” at the end.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I for one applaud the brilliant satire in Belly Laffs. What she’s trying to say is that if Pluggers can get away with wasting a panel a day to reframe “poor/uneducated people sure are depressed/unhinged”, then she can up the ante by wasting three to say “pregnant women sure are large”. The satire will be even better if Marvin continues in this fashion for the next 20-30 years.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
But… but Marvin’s mom has to wear a big semicircular smirk pasted to her face — how else will the reader know that the “Belly Laffs” series is intended to be funny?
February 27th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
I fear this is rather too deep into the thread to be of much interest. . .BUT. . for those of you who have not yet checked out “Garfield minus Garfield” to which Josh linked yesterday, you really ought to give it a tumble.
The ManRayX’s as a family always enjoy a good belly laugh and “Garfield minus Garfield” dished up the laughs in heaping handfuls.
I just wish I could figure out the Archives section as I would love to see more!
February 27th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
you’re right MM. I’ll start by drinking some IC !
…and yes, I’m sure he was a fine gentleman.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I am flying my Terrible Towel at half mast on my office desk today. . .as a native Pittsburgher, it is indeed one of the saddest of days!. . .RIP Myron, you brought many us great joy, laughter and an affirming passion for living with a spring in one’s step and a twinkle in one’s eye. . .Yoi and Double Yoi!
February 27th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
If Dick Tracy really wanted to have the crime rate drop he would just drop by the maternity ward and take in to custody all the newborns who have names like Cole Lector and Dab Stract. You’d think the Police Force would have figured out by now that all their major criminals have names that fit the crime. You just know that given the opportunity to grow up free that Art Son will become a huge fire bug.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Oops, 84 Anonymous was me!
February 27th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
It doesn’t bother me so much that Marvin is repeating the same stupid joke day after day in different words. That’s pretty much a given for most comics. It’s the smug smile of satisfaction on Jenny’s face as she “writes” this tripe that gets me. As if she’s sitting there convinced that she’s churning out Pulitzer winning material and is at that moment planning which hideous turtleneck she’ll wear when she accepts the award.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
56 Al,
I’m seeing it too. Pretty funny.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Maybe one of the Keane Kids’ Cool Friends to be featured next will be Lynn Johnston, or Tom Batuik. With a bottle of vodka stuck in their snowy baggage. And a blowtorch nearby.
JP – Eeeeeeee Abbey, you hit the jackpot!
Although if there are drugs in that box, you’d wonder why ol’ Bill put them in a Peck n’ Pluck company box. Then again, it sure isn’t Madison Avenue where they live.
SalForth – Chris Walken – More Cowbell, mule!
3G – I’m not sure whether to be all excited, or think “Uh-oh.”
“Brace yourself, Luann – I found Alan in an alleyway last night near our apt building, smacked out and boozed up. Time for you to go babysit.”
February 27th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
#43 — “FBoFW: Oh, just reveal that Liz and Anthony got married by a justice of the peace on the way home from Christmas dinner, already!”
What? That’s unpossible! Anthony and Liz can only get married in full regalia, with Liz wearing her grandma’s dress, Anthony wearing some kind of baggy tuxedo, spawn-of-Anthony as the flower girl, and Michael as the best man. April, of course, will not be a bridesmaid, because everyone hates April. Thérese will be shown sobbing as she contemplates how she let that big hunk of tofu get away. The seventy-three boyfriends Liz had who all cheated or lacked mustaches or whatnot will die in a fiery inferno. And Elly will conduct the marriage ceremony, which will bind Anthony not just to Liz, but to the Patterson family for all time, even after death. It will be glorious.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
88 – Shit, I meant Biff.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Day 25 of Scaduto minus Scaduto. “They’ll Never Do It Again”.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I feel shame — I only just got “Cole Lector” today.
In my defense, I usually put about zero effort into reading Dick Tracy.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Those Mounties are good, they can perform the PIT maneuver with planes! Just wait until the news choppers show up and we got ourselves a real popcorn eating chase!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
MW: Drew spare us your sanctimonious bullcrap. You’ll be cursing Vera’s name as you lie in your mosquito infested hut shaking off malaria and Dengue Fever trying to read self-help books by candlelight. Nothing a quick trip to Thailand couldn’t cure…
February 27th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
42 Francesco.. your FC minus God is hilarious! Particularly taken in context with the whole page as you scroll down.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
#31 Instead of Comma Chameleon, wouldn’t it be Comma, Comma, Comma Chameleon?*
*cue the Boy George!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
sorry, didn’t need to say that twice.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
PBS
ratsing This might have legs. Let’s throw it at the wall and see if it sticks. Let’s run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.
And to save a step, one of you may wish to respond, “Go … your … put your … avail your … place where the sun don’t shine.”
February 27th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
No, what I meant to say was..what’s with Dick Tracy’s forearms? Somebody’s stole half his forearms! He’s starting to look like a hand puppet.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Francesco, are you really an Onion contributor? Cool!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
MW – Given Drew’s expression and the way in which he turns away from Mary in panel 2, I guess that horrid pantsuit really is starting to stink.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
The worst aspect of the Marvin pablum is that they are stretching a one panel “joke” into a three panel format.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Larry King snowman looks kinda bashful, I think maybe. what is scary is making a snowmna or Larry King look remotely associated with romantic inclinations, and i don’t know who to blame for that– me, or the artist. Hmm.
p.s. trotzenbonnie, you crack me up. i remember when kermit the frog was guest-hosting for Larry King, and even the Frog himself could not fill one of those those chair butt-grooves. He did pull off the suspenders pretty well. An pants. Which is, i think, indecent for a frog. But the world is a pretty fucked-up place. Hell, I just mixed midori liqueur with absinthe last night to get the world to START spinning.
damn old asshats. dont forget theyre probably trying to look at your butt without your knowing it… elderly does not mwean dead, as hassled and oft-chastisted and or unchristened young whippersnappers are apt to forget. let them have their dreams they’re not allowed to have. That oughta get the pope’s goat. I mean nose. There is no goat at the Vatican. They swear.
p.s. i dont know what’s hotter than gonorrhea, literally; it could be the next running joke on Marvin. You know you’re hit when you have gonorrhea. Well, because your crotch feels like wildfire. but in a bad way… i have read as much, and that’s as close as i would like to get, so i try to keep it real when i’m shopping for books.
Although…
with hands like that, Margo could tell me more any time.. I’d be listening as an elephant is dumb. Even if she were to disclose her cocrophilic tendencies to me, I’d just buy her a toothbrush rack.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
#102 – and a three panel format into infinity.
I agree – please make it go awaaaay!
A3G, again – Margo doesn’t realize she works for the Mills Art Gallery – she thinks she works for Ronco, selling chicken cookers.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
9 – In Canada, it’s a different border. Crooks hop into getaway cars and yell “Woooo-weee! I’m taking this thing all the way to Minneapolis!”
Though I imagine if Mrs. Bull flies into US airspace without filing a flight plan the FCC will scramble the fighter jets.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Yes, Brownie, I believe he was.
And so, even though you root for Cleveland and I for Pittsburgh, and you may be a Buckley fan, and I…not so much, (though I did admire his way with words) let us drink to their memories.
Cheers.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
“Belly Laffs by Milller” = “My balls fly free, Bill.”
It’s clearly a message, but what does it mean, damnit? Bill Who?
February 27th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
The book-shopping reference is to say, if you want to meet LOTS of people who look at, and even sometimes buy, bargain books by the assful, The Strand Bookstore has 16 miles of ready-made foreplay. And they must really know what they’re doing, because they fired me after only six weeks. (That’s how long it took for me to rearrange the basement and then put it back as how it was again… I like ladders, and crouching, and knocking stacks of books over and talking to the librarian lady ghost. Oh wait, that is a movie. I’m so silly.
Being fired by the Bass family business puts me in the company of Patti Smith, so I really don’t mind. I feel more like honored… maybe a little sad I didnt get a union patch to iron on my vagina.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Yikes, I just read today’s DT (thanks 31). Maybe Dick was trying to make some kind of word puzzle or something. Seriously, say today’s dialog five times fast:
“You are a special collection of the city’s leading citizens. And Mr. Cole Lector likes collections. He makes a lot of money collecting.”
February 27th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
107: Bill Keane!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Tomorrow…a snowman in a cowboy hat! Oh I just cannot WAIT.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I think FC could really take it home with a picture of a jolly face sort of floating on the surface of a cesspool and a “Suggested by our
misplaced modifiersfamily, we present another of their shitty friends” caption.February 27th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
That snowman looks pretty despondent — was he just rejected from an audition to replace Larry when he finally kicks it? Don’t worry, my frosty friend — you wouldn’t have lasted long under those lights, anyway.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
You know you’re pregnant when the sight of the greasy pizza you used to love makes you run for the bathroom and then the smell of ‘lemon-fresh’ cleaner makes you exit the bathroom to run outside and puke at the restaurant door. (Not a good advertisement for the place, but iat least t was the back door)
February 27th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
RE: GT: Who the F is Big Ray?
Who the F refers to their father like that, hated or not?
February 27th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Now, I’m no doctor but I always thought other signs preceded the girth; I’d hate to think that for some people, the first sign of pregnancy is the inability to get out of the chair they were knocked up in…
February 27th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I find skinhead snowmen even more disturbing still.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
115 – Buck Remus
Tim Russert
February 27th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I see arms on the Larry King snowman, easily too. They’re clasped behind his back, witht eh shadow being the space between arms and back and… if I have to explain that much, then it’s badly drawn.
8. nerowolfgal: you talk of interpretive dancing as if it were a bad thing… :)
31. Paperback Rifler: the sheer use of “radioactive caret” launches your snark way above “meh” area (that’s reserved for me). Culture Club puns only shoots it further.
68. Trotzenbonnie: you get more and more awesome every day. :)
92. Skullturf: your brain fought the valiant fight longer than most to resist Dick Tracy, but even it had to succumb in the end. You have my admiration.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Foob — So this old wedding dress, having somehow miraculously survived mold, mildew, dirt, damp, mice, assorted invertebrates, and the ravages of time, is about to ride triumphantly down the aisle on Lizardbreath, catch sight of Anthony waiting at the altar, and abruptly disintegrate in horror. What a way to go.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
FBOFW: Surely I’m not the only one who is dying to see a two or three day continuation of Mike, alone in the house, lovingly putting on Grandma Foob’s wedding dress?
February 27th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
cheesey keister-y jackass girl, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I think I like it. Must be your absinthe. They make it now so that it doesn’t kill you or make you permanently insane..
February 27th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
The thing that is bugging me with the Marvin strip is that it’s not like it’s HARD to know you’re pregnant. “Rednecks” might not realize what they are until they listen to Jeff Foxworthy, and people of various other groups, like dog people or people who really like Star Trek, might not be aware of just how influenced they are by their hobbies.
But pregnant? If you’re pregnant enough that you can’t get out of a chair, or look like Big Ben, then you ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE PREGNANT. You don’t need cute little hints.
Ways to tell you’re pregnant in the first few weeks: that would be helpful.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
FW: This story is as leaden and as soggy as I assume funky’s pizza’s are (Cheaper Ingreedients! More Market! Higher Salary for Big Boss!)
MW: Yes everytime he takes a piss and he feels like Mr. happy is being slashed by razors he’ll be sure to thank Drew – and mabye even try and share the joy when he returns.
FOOB: We never play Goalie and the Milkmaid anymore!
February 27th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
FC: One of the great things about Calvin’s snowmen is that they seemed to be doing things, even though they were inanimate objects. SnowLarry is just standing there. And that’s not even how most people see him. I only have basic cable, but when I do see Larry King on CNN he’s sitting behind a desk. And putting SnowLarry behind a desk makes even less sense that putting suspenders on a snowman.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
PerkyBird’s COTW drinks the milkshake of whatever “Marvin” does this week and last week.
(I can’t believe I said that. Someone slap me silly….)
February 27th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
20 years from now, Josh will be snarking on the latest installment of “Cool Friends”, and some new people will be saying “Is it true that this strip used to be about kids?” and we’ll say, “Yeah, it did. But, well, Barney Google & Snuffy Smith used to have Barney Google in it, too…”
February 27th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
A3G: In panel 3, Margo is preparing to spoon-feed her brain damaged room-mate in front of the press for more sympathy coverage.
Brace yourself! Here comes the airplane! Open the Hangar doors! ZOOOOOOM!
February 27th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
42 Ces:
Don’t feel too bad. I keep wanting to write the current month’s dates as 12/…/08 instead of 2/…/08. I’m either enamored with double-digit months or just way ahead of (or behind) myself.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Sweet Jesus, it looks like she’s just going to poop the baby out right then and there.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
You know you’re a pregnant, redneck snowman when…
February 27th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
yeah, yeah, you know your pregnant when your boyfriend leaves town unexectedly and never returns. I hate to say this, but I’m starting to miss Marvin and all the excrement jokes.
68. Trotzenbonnie , you remain one of my favorites! I’ll read your crazy-ass rants anytime.
I’ll go play next door, now.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Has anyone else noted that all the “belly laffs” punchlines are more or less interchangable with “Pluggers” punchlines, both in format and content? Just a thought…
February 27th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I saw this and instantly thought of this place.
The caption, not the picture, is what sold me.
Sorry if anyone else mentioned this already!
February 27th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Family Circus is getting political. The Larry King made of snow is meant to symbolize the “chilling” effect that the Bush Administration has had on the press.
Watch for the Keanes to use a Snow Ralph Nader to demonstrate the way third parties have been “frozen out” of the political process.
Edgy stuff, sure, but Doonesbury has been coasting for over a decade, so somebody had to pick up the slack.
And Mallard Fillmore just fucking blows. Jesus, I’m a naughty Republican (who needs a good spanking) so you’d think that it would be right in my wheelhouse, but I can’t express how much it sucks. “Hey, Hillary has gotten kind of mannish!” No shit, dummy, the woman’s in her sixties. Cut her some slack. We can’t all be Betty White.I miss the Doonesbury of the 1970’s that could make a political point while still being hysterical.
Anyway, sorry to veer into politics but I had to express my hatred of Mallard Fillmore.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
#42 Ces: If you could end this storyline with Sally’s sleep deprived paranoia, a 5-gallon pickle jar and Ralph’s head, that’d be great. Please, please, pretty please???
PS: It doesn’t have to be a dill pickle jar. It could be bread and butter. Heck, it could even be a pickle bucket from McDonalds. I’m not picky.
PPS: While you’re at it, send sleepwalkin’ Sally over to Cathy and Dennis the Menace before she takes her Ambien. I’m sure she can find enough pickle jars somewhere along the way.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
136 Baka – Part of Sally’s breakdown could include an appearance by Christopher Walken!
February 27th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
#137 Kaitlyn: Sure, Christoper Walken AND Christopher Robin. Let’s add Warren Christopher to make it surreal.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Monty is doing sound gags. Jim Meddick is just taunting the shark at this point.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Say what you will about today’s installment; I think it constitutes something of an achievement to come up with someone people will be surprised to see characterized as cool even by FAMILY CIRCUS standards.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I imagine by this point that the writer and illustrator of Mary Worth are held in separate soundproof rooms, and that any attempt at cooperation results in blunt force trauma and the illustrator being dragged back to his room shouting, “No!! What is Mary saying?! WHAT THE F**K IS MARY SAYING?!”
February 27th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Margo is looking about as old as this comic strip. Or to put it another way, she looks like Nancy Pelosi.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
#100: It’s true. And thanks!
February 27th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Unfortunately, some of the Garfield comics without Garfield aren’t entirely what they were presented as. There was some doctoring of the original comics. Someone on Metafilter did a little digging. They’re still pretty funny though. I guess it’s more about what would be happening if the strip was just Jon, rather than what would the strip be like if Garfield was simply erased from the frames.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Haiku: The sad snowman
Snowman has no arms.
Nor pants. Yet the snowman still
wears sad suspenders.
PS, who is the transparently evil kitchen worker who hates Winky Funklebean’s pizza so very, very much?
February 27th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I like to imagine that the Belly Laffs woman actually didn’t know she was pregnant until that very moment when a seven-month-progressed fetus made it more difficult to get out of a chair.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
#145 cornered –
That’s Khan, a leftover from Funky’s brother Wally’s adventures in Afghanistan. Wally has been missing (gasp!) since the jump; his former wife (widow?) Stumpy married Comic John, who has adopted her child as . . . .
zzzzzzzzzzz. . . .
zzzzzzzzzzz. . . .
February 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Yeah! So, exciting, huh? Stay tuned!
February 27th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
New “Super Fun-Pak Comix” over at Tom the Dancing Bug, including “Doug, the character who misunderstands what kind of comic strip he’s in.”
http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/
February 27th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
GT – Aren’t the A-Train’s adult relatives at all worried about getting in trouble with the law? Last I heard, leaving your kids for months at a time, even with a constant supply of money, was called criminal neglect.
S-M – Come on, Persuader! MJ’s husband clearly isn’t going to save her from Krandis; time for you to prove your love!
Phantom – Yes, ambush the gun-runner in his hotel room! He certainly won’t have any trigger-happy bodyguards there.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
#43 & #89 A Foob elopement does not preclude a big, glurgy wedding. Recall that Mike and Dee got secretly married before their bog, showy wedding. Thus stretching out the wedding stuff to a biajillion strips while they made odd “jokes” like telling Weed, ‘I don’t just want you to join us for the evening, I want to you to join us in life!’ Like, as a witness. Ah, if only I’d known about this blog back in those days. It sounds like a weird Christian come-on or a twist on the murder suicide pact. But no, it kept going and there was drama where they hid their marriage so they could hump sin-free, etc etc etc and then, finally they had the splashy wedding.
And god gods, I’m not drinking enough. I remember Foob dialog from years ago. This is just not right.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
9CL: Ick. If she’s talking dirty in German, 9CL should only be made available on a pay-per-view basis. Kids read this strip. Or…maybe they don’t, I like to think they’ve got better taste than I do…
FOOB: Oh, you know damn well what’s gonna happen, Stepford Dee. Liz is gonna come by and gush all over the dress….corner Pornstache into a proposal….this is how the cult of Oprah works, folks. Dave Sim was right. Shine On You Crazy Diamond.
Luann: When I was growing up, in high school, we had a substitute teacher who dressed just like Luann’s teacher. Same checked jacket and everything. It never changed. I often wondered what, if anything , he did in his off time. His last name was Benjamin. Everyone called him “Mister Benny” and harassed him to no end. I often felt bad that I didn’t take a stand and stop the others from harrassing Mr. Benjamin, but then I was becoming a well-liked student, and that would wreck it for sure. I’m a miserable bastard.
SForth: Wow. Sally looks like Hunter Thompson used to, and not in a good way. Looks like Sally’s been taking amphetamines. Just say no, Sally.
My Cage: Yep. Looks like Violet needs a little Tender Lovin’ Jamus.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Holy mother of gefilte fish! I haven’t read Funky Winkerbean in years. Who the fuck are those people?
February 27th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
#153 fluffytufts –
See #147 above, specifically: “zzzzzzzzzzz. . . .”
February 27th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
what happened to LuAnn’s lips in the final panel? I’m guessing that when the camera swung to Margo in panel two, LuAnn took a big swig of her pomegranate juice.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
#45 NotThatGuy: I wish I could make a living that easily. Here’s one for Bil K. to use tomorrow.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Belly Laffs . . . are not boob laughs. All the hugely preggers have tiny boobs, unlike real preggers (who often start lactating by that point). But see, boobs are very very sexy and cannot be represented in the comics. Unless by Stone Soup and there only obliquely.
Not for feeding babies, for being sexy. sexy. filthy. sexy sex sex.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
i am right here asking whoever it was who said that The Phantom was better read as a musical to marry me. it just keeps getting better.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
105. Laura C., good point! Mark Trail keeps warping the time space continuum so that it’s not clear if it’s Quebec or Wyoming. Judging by the blatant stupidity of the evildoers, the inept apathy of law enforcement and Widow Bull’s Sam Hills with evil plucked eyebrows look, this action is probably taking place in the little known, remote French speaking corner of Lost Forest. The RCMP uni is modeled after American state troopers anyway, right?
February 27th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Has anyone ever considered doing a timeline of F.W. misfortunes dating back to the forward time jump? Has anyone read this strip long enough to provide the intel necessary to construct one?
I’m guessing it would probably look pretty weird to see a compressed version of the strip’s run: A goofy, high-school soap featuring Archie-like, two-dimensional characters morphs into a pitch-black melodrama and all the newly fleshed out major characters slowly get killed off, dismembered, deafened or worse.
What if Cathy did something similar?
February 27th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
zOmG, Ross
That snowman looks EXACTLY like Larry King! it’s freakin’ hilarious. LoL!
kewl frenz N DeeD!
February 27th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
#136 Ces: If you could end this storyline with Sally’s sleep deprived paranoia, a 5-gallon pickle jar and Ralph’s head, that’d be great. Please, please, pretty please???
#152; SForth: Wow. Sally looks like Hunter Thompson used to, and not in a good way. Looks like Sally’s been taking amphetamines.
Now to simply combine these two plot points and I think I may just have my Mother’s Day Sunday comic. Thanks!
February 27th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
# 68 Trotzenbonnie – Girl, you’d better be glad you have Mr. T now because otherwise I’d head straight to your door, sweep you up and take you home to Greater Metropolitan Roopville with me RIGHT NOW! That post just… just… captivated me. To hell with those judgmental fucktards, they were just jealous they did not have your magnificent style. And hey, you ended up with our favorite Rotten Kid so you won the jackpot, babycakes!
#103 cheesy keister-y jackass girl – GOAT MENTION! You have potential, sweet thing.
#151 Les – I’m worried about you, brother. Put down the casserole and back away slowly. It’s gonna be all right.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
#160 McDave-for a long time FW was just a dumb, and not particularly funny, high school trip–mainly about bad football teams, band turkeys, and Les’ inability to get down the rope once he’d climbed part way up.
I really think the doom began after the first time jump, though my aging memory might be at fault. The first really suckful thing I recall was Wally’s girlfriend losing an arm in a car wreck. He was driving and drunk. Batiuk touch? She’d just been accepted to Julliard. But, she found a fulfilling life as a one armed pizza waitress at Montoni’s ( I am not making this up).
February 27th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Looking at the two villains standing villainously in the background, I certainly hope that we get some Mark Trail-style action going pretty soon in Funky Winkerbean. His doughy fist-blob of justice hasn’t seen action in awhile.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
149. Skullturf. I have an old “Tom the Dancing Bug” collection and he used Doug a lot, usually partnered with a diaper-clad baby named Max. In one sequence Doug tries to get a doctor to examine him to determine what kind of animal he is, but is pronounced a “generic cartoon animal”. Max makes up the word “doik” to insult Doug, and Doug is highly offended, even though Max points out that it doesn’t actually mean anything. He hasn’t done any of these for a long time, to the point where they are not even referenced in his Wikipedia entry.
Here is their brief comeback.
Some of my other favorites were Harvey Richards, lawyer for children, and Trix O’Thetrade, the cartooning leprechaun, who gave advice on things like silent penultimate panels.
I guess you can only get those old cartoons by finding a used copy of the book.
Here is an archive of his strips that are available on Salon.com 1995-2005.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I get the impression that Larry King Snowman has just had his show cancelled, and is heading for the nearest tanning spa to end it all.
Mago looks quie delighted that she and Lu Ann are having lunch while surrounded by spectral apparitions.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
#164 – Brick – a few events prior to Becky losing an arm:
- Les and Lisa have a long distance relationship. She heads to Europe to teach and his proposal that he makes via cassette tape to her is intercepted by his student, Susan, who has a crush on Les.
-Susan attempts to kill herself by swallowing pills, but lives and confesses her misdeed to Les. So…
-Les spends the summer chasing Lisa across Europe – near misses abound.
-Les and Lisa manage to get together and she eventually moves back to the states.
-Lisa goes to mail some of Les’ book to the publisher at just exactly the same time that a bomb goes off in the post office.
-Several weeks of Lisa in the hospital bed – will she make it?
-She makes it.
-She and Les decide to marry at Montoni’s on Halloween wearing Batman and Robin costumes.
-But Les forgets to get a license and the vows look DOOMED until…
-Susan steps in – her dad is a judge and willing to get them a license, post haste.
Then…
-Susan gets befriended by the popular girls @ school and they give her a makeover.
-She catches the eye of the star quarterback, Matt something, who is physically abusive.
-To atone for his abuse, he throws her a Grad Party (she’s a year older than him). Booze aplenty.
-Wally and Becky (also seniors) imbibe and drive drunk. An arm is lost.
-Susan dumps Matt and goes to commiserate at Casa de Moore, where Lisa gives sage advice.
-That fall, Matt is in Les’ class, and Les is really hard on him.
-Matt’s father comes in to see Les and ends up beating on Matt. Thus we learn that abusiveness is genetic.
Right around that time, all the Cancer stuff got started…I think that’s about all I remember.
I minored in Winkerbean.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Funky is practicing the patented “Larry Craig Wide Stance” as he expects to be spending a lot of time in airports touring the nation after scoring the cover of the pizza magazine.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
My mom had a crush on William F. Buckley like I later had a crush on P.J. O’Rourke. I heard that “Candide” music coming from the TV in the family room an awful lot.
One of my favorite Spy Magazine-isms was about his wife, who they dubbed “cosmetics aficionado Pat Buckley”.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
168– Holy shit! Is this present day existential Funk-evil stripping Batuik’s self-flagellation for writing such a flippant comic for the first half(?) of its existence? Is he a self-clubber as well?
February 27th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
There should be a whole post on how big a douche Mike Patterson is.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
More Foob thoughts:
A box with a window in the top??! So they can gaze that the dress periodically?? Yep, still a dress!
Has anyone actually seen Liz since she decided to sacrifice her immortal soul in exchange for the vile pleasures of the flesh? We’re all assuming there’s a marriage ahead, but maybe she’ll die horribly and then burn in hell for her sins. Like, maybe Anthony will dismember her and serve her for dinner.
Then, during the summer, The family circus can occasionally check in on her in hell while they talk about their hot friends.
. . . drinking is not helping.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
#2 Zaq– Cheer up. I just realized that because Funky has not kept Montoni up to safety codes (re patching w/duct tape), the whole place is going to blow up and everyone in it will either be killed or severely injured. And because it’s the Funkiverse, no one will get proper treatment and the survivors will be forced to wears scars from the disaster for the rest of their lives. Sort of like a scarlet ‘A’. Maybe Batiuk thinks he’s channeling Hawthorne.
As for Marvin, maybe its creator needs to check out the statistics on the WHO website or “Morbidity and Motality Weekly Report” and THEN tell us how much “fun” childbirth is: You know you’re pregnant when you die from it (even in this country the stats are sobering).
February 27th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
True Fable -
Don’t know if you have heard about the tree climbing goats of Moracco, but my folks just got back from there and told me about them. My first thought was “I HAVE to get a picture of this for True – so here it is.
http://www.lexicorient.com/morocco/tamri.html
February 27th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Marvin: Someone should tell Jenny that most magazine columns are slightly longer than 15 words.
MW: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, Dr. Cory the younger is going to Vietnam to forget the ponytail that broke his heart. Now answer the important question that I have about today’s strip – why the hell does Mary have a picture of George Washington of her desk?
Phantom: If “that could work” means “that could result in the rape and murder of two of my wife’s friends”, then The Ghost Who Walks has this one nailed.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
True Fable: I just now decided to click on your name’s link. Excellent parodies and drawings there! I love the style. Clear, unambiguous, and a solid grasp of the fundamentals. (More than me after 20 years…)
Here, have a goat of some kind. Well, a costume of one anyway. :)
February 27th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
#175 SabreChick – With great anticipation I leaped at the link you offered, only to get this: “You tried an non-existing address with LexicOrient. Please use this page to find what you were looking for. Should you feel that the error is something we need to fix, please mail us.”
You automatically get big healthy Fable love, hugs and points for even TRYING to find me some goats, doll! In addition, that message provided great amusement by wondering just what I should mail to LexicOrient.
“Dear LexicOrient,
GOATS! Where are the GOATS, goddammit! I was TOLD there would be GOATS to admire here but all I got was a MAP! What kind of operation are you running, anyhow, that you don’t give good goat?
Truman A. Fable
Caprine Admirer”
But I appreciate your effort my dear, dear SabreChick!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
http://picasaweb.google.com/celesteh/TestAlbum/photo#5171840798453799762
Something has snapped in my head . . . .
February 27th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
FOOB – I learned a wonderful word from True Fable, and I’ve since seen it used by other folks here. I’ve been waiting for a chance to use it as well, and today is the day! But first, we have a brief reminder this week of the 5 W’s of investigative writing from writer and author Mike Patterson. To recap:
1. What are you doing in the crawl space?
2. How come people collect so much junk!! (NOTE error on part of LJ in failure to use question mark)
3. What should we do with it?
4. Really?
5. And then what?
Now Gramps hasn’t been out of Vancouver for all that long, so his first wife’s wedding dress hasn’t actually been in the crawl space longer than, say, five years. So perhaps Elly is merely a dim bulb in not thinking to clean out the space before moving house and thus leaving all kinds of priceless crap (including her OWN MOTHER’S WEDDING DRESS) for the kids to find. However, I think it’s probably in this case just a matter of LJ being a lazy writer.
Now it seems quite unlikely that Dee would be more interested in the historic Patterson crap in the crawl space, AND be more instantly aware of the significance and origin of the found items, AND have more respect for said items than Mike, who up to now has been presented as the family historian and know-it-all. However, I think it’s probably in this case just a matter of LJ being a crappy and lazy writer.
Storing away one’s hockey equipment with the forgotten family heirlooms, however, is another matter entirely, and this elevates Mike into a special category.
Mike Patterson! For dumping your hockey “gear” into a crawl space with baby clothes, Christmas cards and your own Gran’s wedding dress; yea verily, for being a Canadian who has hockey equipment but never uses it, you are truly a fucktard!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
#176 rhymes –
Because you never forget your first love.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
What’s really sad is that Larry King snowman appears to have been locked out of his own studio.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
#177 Niall – Thank you for the kind words! I’m working on knocking Lynnie off the page, so my efforts will show up there in my name link eventually. But meanwhile -
GOAT COSTUME! GOAT!!
ooh, Halloween plans are afoot! Or, ahoof.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Larry King referred to, in print, as “cool”. Too bad for Larry he had to be so described by the Family Circus. Ouch to you, Mr King!
Can a running joke still be a running joke even if its lame?
February 27th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
#180 Mooncattie – Want to know something unnerving? My son Galevav just suggested we all begin measuring things in metric fucktons. It’s more colorful than, say, ‘massive’. As in, “Kinetic weaponry can cause a metric fuckton of damage.”
*sniffle* And just think, he’ll be licensed to teach impressionable young minds in only another couple of years! He does the name of Fable proud!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Also, I would have thought that Panel II Margo, with her grinning death’s head staring directly at the viewer, is also a good summation of the Magee Foreplay Experience. Oh, Margo, how I long to be the next man to capture the “public’s” interest!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
TF 185: Personally I prefer the “hellaton,” which is somewhat smaller than the “metric hellaton.” Or, if you prefer, “hellatonne.” Then we get into “fuckloads.” Not so much fucktons, though.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Love Is: See? SEE? We suspected all along that those two clothing-challenged 10 year olds were products of the devil all along, and now they’ve unleased their cursed offspring on us
FW: What he’s referring to is the pizza that causes cancer or limbs to fall off after digestion. Look for this deja-vu-ish plot to develop as the weeks come.
A3G: the second panel could have had a different caption in the balloon: “Hey! Look behind me! It’s THIS guy! Everyone give him a hand!”
February 27th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Det krävs ett vidrigt ariskt postkoleanistiskt svin som du för att inte förstå skönheten i en serie som “lägenhet 3-G”.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
FC: Come to think of it, I’ve never seen Larry King in front of the desk. He might just be wearing those suspenders without pants. Considering the hard-on he still harbors for Anna Nicole Smith, I’d be hard-pressed to imagine a pair of pants that would still fit that crazy old man!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
What’s this? True Fable has a thing for goats? See what I miss when I occasionally skip over a few thousand comments?
Well, if it’s pictures of goats you seek, my dear fellow, I have a friend who can provide you with what you need:
http://bloogrssblog.blogspot.com/2008/02/some-more-photos-from-farm.html
My favorite is the second-to-last, Titan the Angora Buck.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
#168: I am impressed and horrified that you recall all that and that I remember it all now. I think the post office explosion first let Batiuk find the thrill of torturing his characters.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I have to say, having sit through Jeff Foxworthy and Pluggers for so many years, I’m pretty much unfazed by the bad humor in “Belly Laffs.” What really annoys me is that he chose to spell it “Laffs.” Why? Dear God, Why? Will somebody please think about the children?!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
42. Ces – Francesco, you and Garry Trudeau are simply the coolest guys in the comics. And Ted Forth was voted by many of the Curmudgeon gals as the Hottest Guy in the comics. Or should we say, the hottest metrosexual in the comics?
PS: Your blog is hilarious.
PPS: Can we please kill off Ralph? Pretty please? I know we love to hate him, and he’s really the Human Embodiment of Patriarchy, but can we just…. off him? Nicely? Painlessly?
Just a thought.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
63 Mountain Momma
I agree, Cope was really one of a kind. He will be missed
February 27th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
191: cute pics. Love the bonus dog pic at the end. (True Fable can lub on the rest of the pics, which are mighty cute as well.)
February 27th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Marvin takes on maieusiophilia… when will it end?
in related news, I wholeheartedly agree with the ’snowman is sad due to armlessness’ comments above.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Jeez, I’m posting in late; I’ll be surprised if anyone besides Josh reads this, but–
Marvin, FC, and FW: Make the hurting stop; PLEASE make the hurting stop. Although I’ll forgive FW if this ends w/ original owner Montoni coming back from Florida/ the dead (there’s a difference, surely) to kick Funky in the winkerbeans.
Ces: since this is the END of February (please, God?) I assumed you meant the BEGINNING of Feb. It takes a pro to admit the difference.
Hagar: OK, why is Lucky Eddie half covered in black?
February 27th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Ross #7: Another snow-divorce. And that snowman’s got arms, y’all. It’s just that they’re so old and shriveled, you need HD comics to see them.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Again RE: Marvin and FC: instead of “running” gags, can we refer to these as “crawling”, “limping” or “standing unfunnily in one place” gags?
February 27th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I never heard a Myron Cope game day. I’d just like to know whether he made the death bed confession:
Frenchy Fuqua was the only player that touched that pass before Franco, and if Lee Atwater can come clean and repent on his deathbed, well so can I.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Family Circus has entered into the realm of the absurd. Larry King can’t climb stairs!
February 27th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Rohnie#117: Larry King’s rug was otherwise engaged.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Y’know, Billy and Jeffy could make tattos on Larry if dad held them up.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Say whay you will about Belly laffs, but it’s gonna be a run away hit, mark my words. I mean, what pregnant woman, self image being destoryed by the day, wouldn’t want to read a book that reminds them how fat they are, and how the beauty of their youth is gone, never to return. It’s as good as a book for the elderly reminding them they’ll be dead soon, and their relatives have forgetten them. Call it “Geezer Guffaws”
February 27th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Where’s the snow man John the Baptist?
February 27th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
#185 True Fable – Great Minds At Work!…and I was thinking of using it as a sort of anti-flavour, as in “Mike Patterson, the fact that you’ve stored your hockey gear in a crawl space since you got body-checked at the age of 16 and it hurt so much, is merely the icing on your fucktardaberry cake!”
February 27th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
193: ‘Laff’ is to ‘laugh’ as ‘chocolaty’ is to ‘chocolate’.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Man, the “belly laffs” thing is pissing me off, for all the reasons already mentioned: the cutesy spelling, the smirk, the idea that being enormous is the only sign of pregnancy, the general unfunniness.
I have some further, more realistic suggestions for future installments of “belly laffs,” to add to the growing list provided by CC readers:
You know you’re pregnant when your boobs get really big and sore, and your nipples expand to about the size of dinner plates.
You know you’re pregnant when you spend all day cuddling the toilet.
You know you’re pregnant when you get about 43% more body hair than usual.
Think they’ll print ‘em?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Allie–you used to have a lot of time on your hands, huh? You know, I really like Funky better when it was the kind of strip you’d expect of something named Funky Winkerbean.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Funky-Is there such a place as Checker’s Pizza?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
It’s good to see Marvin is catching up to the latest craze of recycled fat jokes, recently introduced to the comic strip page by Garfield a mere 29 years ago.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
#187 Zaq – See? Math class would have been so much more interesting with a Mudgeon Metric System.
#191 Harold, Garfield Single Minus Christian – GOATS!!! My cup runneth over! You are welcome at Greater Metropolitan Roopville any time, my friend!
#207 Mooncattie – Heh! We be downright loquacious. Or Fuquacious, I guess.
#177 Niall – take a peek at my name link. I need to correct the word balloons to make them, hello, READABLE, but the dialogue is this:
Mike: Thanks a million for babysitting, Marty.
Marty: Did you have a good time?
Mike: We had a great time!
Chali: The kids havene’t ben too bad, have they?
Marty: No, but… Mother, haven’t you and Dad gotten the hang of birth control YET?
Mike: I hope you won’t be offering any tips, son.
:D
February 27th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
#211 LTBF –
Checker’s Pizza –
Yup; there’s one in Wellington, about half an hour outside Medina.
What is this, shout-out month? First we get the creepy mail guy in Gasoline Alley, now interstitial advertising in a tragedy strip?
February 27th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
You know you are pregnant when:
These stupid Marvin jokes make you laugh, then cry, then laugh again, then cry some more, then really, really pissed, then laugh again.
Then chocolate.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:00 am
#213 Well damn, I’d better learn how to spell been.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Why is the snowman so sullen? Has it reached a level of consciousness where it can realize that it’s in a Family Circus strip? Because that’d certainly make me depressed.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:13 am
True Fable –
Ooops –
Try this link
http://www.lexicorient.com/morocco/tamri.htm
February 28th, 2008 at 12:14 am
In the spirit of “Garfield Minus Garfield,” I tried to put together “Judge Parker Minus Judge Parker.” It wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:20 am
I swear to all things holy, in today’s FOOB I could not tell at first glance whether that was Liz, Granthony, or Michael. Shudder.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:21 am
FBoFW Is this it, is this the true beginning of the FOOBOCALYPSE?? So Lynn’s going to be coy for the now about what happened at Christmas. Well Like I Care.
The MOST disturbing thing, well other than the supposedly smart “we’re not rushing into anything” comment from Liz (no, the smart thing would be to RUN in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION, FOOL) is that Liz look far and away too much like a trimmed down, rhinoplastied Elly. And what is Gerald doing cozying up to Candace? Oh no, you say; that’s not Gerald, that’s – whoever it was that was boinking Candace. Sure, okay, whatever.
I tell you, when the choice of who a character looks like is between Elly and Gerald, you have a pretty fugly circumstance going on.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:24 am
#218 SabreChick – GOATS!! GOATS IN TREES!!
Oh man that is just terrific; thank you very much!
See and y’all thought I was just kidding about Ninja goats. :-)
February 28th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Suggested by our family, we present another of their cool friends (NSFW):
http://photos10.flickr.com/12559188_72b1fd21eb_o.jpg
February 28th, 2008 at 12:50 am
2/28:
FW: Hey, pal, you’re doing our job there!
FOOB: I got a real kick out of this! “This”, meaning that I thought that was Mikey at first! Oh, and watch it, some… guy… with… a… goatee….., that’s a classic trap there!!
FC: The snowman looked up at the planes flying when, out of nowhere, a carrot fell from the sky and plunked itself right in the middle of his face!
S-M: Forgive him, MJ, he still thinks Garth Brooks and Chris Gaines are two different people.
A3G: “You know, ‘Girl Talk’, that show that fired Rosie O’Donnell after she spread whacko conspiracy theories, or something like that. ‘Girl Talk’: Herb and Jamaal swear by it!”
NS: You mean Joe wants to do the responsible thing under rough circumstances not of his making?? Christ, what an asshole!
GT: Lemme guess: his dad works for Blackwater, right? Somehow, that fits.
Shoe: …And probably shouldn’t be drawn at all anymore.
Blondie takes place in Florida??
GF: When you get to the Yeti, don’t bother: Regis & Kelly (or, more accurately, Gelman) have that covered — badly!
Cranky: Uh, Ed…. that’s definately not the readers.
BBlues: Maybe she can start a junior punk band…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:57 am
214/Lumpy-Thanks. I thought maybe he wanted to avoid a lawsuit by not naming an actual chain so he made a play on words with Domino’s/Checker’s. But if he is going to use an actual place name, why not one people outside Ohio have actually heard of? Although there is a chain of burger places called Checkers.
Glad to see Ellie’s mom’s wedding dress meant so much to her she stuck it in a box under the house.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:02 am
I currently have different 72 comics that I read daily. Think I should cut down, or keep adding?
February 28th, 2008 at 1:21 am
Long time lurker, first time poster here.
I thought I could handle it. I started out just reading what Josh commented on. Then, I got into the harder stuff: the discussions. I had to know what was going on in Foob land and that became my guilty pleasure. But I didn’t stop there. Soon I dabbled into A3G and Mary Worth. I told myself that would be it. Now I’ve started reading Marvin and Gil Thorp. I recognize I have a problem. I’m crying out for help!
February 28th, 2008 at 1:22 am
#223 Comic Connoisseur. Good heavens! Nope, not safe for work for sure! But I’m at home, and it really made me laugh! I can just imagine the giggling going on when that thing was being constructed:-)
February 28th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Is it just me, or do normal, non-stupid women figure out they’re pregnant long before they can’t get their giant selves out of a chair? I always thought it would be “you know you’re pregnant when you miss your period and pee on a stick and see a plus sign.” But that’s just me. I haven’t had any red-haired, bug-eyed babies, so what do I know?
February 28th, 2008 at 1:31 am
I think I am going to change my name in honor of that link. :-)
February 28th, 2008 at 1:49 am
FC What. The. Hell. Is that snowman giving some pilot the finger?
GT There is no joy in Milford; mighty Gil has struck out. I just can’t enjoy it anymore; I get so confused seeing Margo’s doppleganger chatting it up with some non-bland guy in coherently drawn panels if not coherently told stories. The thrill has gone, folks.
JP I would not be so all alone….EEEEverybody must get stoned!…
MT The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true!
Popeye I imagine Wimpy’s pumped Popeye plenty of times in his day.
S-M But you’re too DUMB to put two and two together, right?
RMMD Rex won’t tell on you for burning the money and you can keep the reward, kid…for a price.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:50 am
#226 Lindsey, #227 glutton –
So, you guys reading Brenda Starr yet?
February 28th, 2008 at 1:57 am
#200: I wish I had something original to contribute, so I don’t. So I simply nominate you for C of the f’in’ W, man.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:00 am
#227 glutton4punishment – My name is Truman F., and I am a comicholic.
I started out just following a few serial strips – Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan. Then I started reading Foob and TDIET. From then on, it was Dennis and Sally Forth and Pearls, Funky and FC. Then I got heavily into it with My Cage and A3G. The next thing you know, I’m mainlining Scenes from Suburban Hell. Where will the madness end?!?
#226 Lindsey – I feel your pain! A comics junkie shoud never offer another the promise of a greater high. :-)
February 28th, 2008 at 2:19 am
I don’t have a problem. I mean, I read Family Circus, but not every day. Well, most days, but only if Josh posts on it. Or if somebody writes a comment about it. OK, and I read it if I’m curious why Josh didn’t post on it and nobody mentioned it in the comments. But if it has both speech balloons and a caption, I don’t read them both.
So it’s OK.
And it’s not like I read Quigman’s or anything. Those Quigman’s readers are sick!
February 28th, 2008 at 2:24 am
FC: Anyone who went on a airport runway to build a snowman or look at one would be in the slammer before you could say “Heimatlandsicherheit”.
FW: That photographer knows what he’s doing. Judging by the distance he’s photographing Funky from, he has a super wide angle lens that’s going to make Funky look like an elephant seal in that cover shot. (Note: for flattering photos, a moderate telephoto is preferable.)
JP: The workers are all in town, delivering threatening photographs to injured military personnel.
MT: In the event of a water landing, your Elrod ball may be used as a flotation device.
MW: What a stupid question! I’d like to hear this whole thing as a radio play. After all, the settings have nothing to do with the dialog anyway. The inane lines might be very effective in a kind of surrealistic way. Maybe with only one reader for all the roles—a sort of Krapp’s Last Platitude.
PmP: I like it. And the last two days have been fairly good as well.
RMMD: Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t such rewards usually paid at some time after the conviction?
OBH: Let’s see, was it The Yellow Kid or And Her Name Was Maud that was the first comic strip to recycle this old favorite?
GF: Today I agree with Bucky.
FOOB: Keep the bong circulating, Liz.
Garfield – Garfield: Strangely enough, most of President Garfield’s term in office was minus Garfield as well.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:44 am
MARVIN – WARNING! To anyone out there in the audience who may still be contemplating subjecting themselves to the absolute misery of pregnancy, do not attempt to replicate the behavoir of the foolish woman depicted in today’s installment of Marvin. Judging from her girth, she appears to be in her fifth trimester so the baby she’s carrying is actually quite active and will send that hot plate of green goo sliding into her lap with one good kick. Trust me. I tried it once with a bowl of potato chips and My Rotten Fetus did a forward double flipping salto in utero – believe me, I was still picking Ruffles crumbs out of the carpet on his first birthday…
This has been a public service announcement.
(Ooh! Gotta run. Barry Manilow is singing on Craig Ferguson right now!)
February 28th, 2008 at 2:45 am
Palindramas DTM shoutout today! Funny comment, Skullturf!
“He won snow, eh? ”
“Yawn a more Roman way! ”
–Dr. Awkward
February 28th, 2008 at 2:52 am
237. Trotzenbonnie. Oh please be careful what you say, it was only a little while ago I was eating crackers and I’d hate to have to vacuum out my keyboard.
My Rotten Fetus is a good name for a comic, or maybe a band.
I remember a fetus-based comic being around once. Not in the newspaper. Was it in National Lampoon?
February 28th, 2008 at 3:10 am
#239 Mr. O’Malley – The fetus strip sure sounds familiar, but for the life of me I can’t recall the name.
Quick, Robin! – to the BatNet!
February 28th, 2008 at 3:26 am
hey all…busy packing and going insane, so I have two days of comics to catch up on! Argh!
I don’t want to dwell on the past, so I’ll just make one quick observation on the Wednesday comics: I am a total maroon. It’s taken me, like, three days to figure out that Mr. Sunglassy McEavesdropper is actually Our Hero(tm) the Unknown Commander. If I were any denser, I’d have an event horizon. ;)
It’s Thursday (I never could get the hang of Thursdays…):
A3G: OK, I can’t decide which is more distracting: Margo’s uncharacteristically chatty wrist flinging, or Luann’s suddenly blood-red poochy lips. Bleah.
FBOFW: Yup, right on cue: first the wedding dress, then back to Blizthony. “Taking it slow”, my ass. Liz, if you didn’t feel one hell of a fat goose walking over your grave when Deanna pulled that wedding dress out of the crawlspace, you’re even psychically denser than we all thought.
FW: If Batiuk isn’t poised to bring down a serious hammer on Funky after all this, I shall be royally pissed. Actually, the disgruntled Montoni’s employee reminds me of a dude who threw a tantrum at a Pizza Hut we were at when I was six or seven. First we all heard him shouting in the kitchen, and then he came out into the dining room, yelled “I curse this place in the name of the Devil!!!” and stormed out. Needless to say, the place emptied out in about a minute and a half. Better watch your back, Funky.
MF: God help me, I laughed at Mallard Fillmore today. I’m not well. I’M NOT WELL!!!
MW: “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?”
Phantom: “The kitchen staff, was, like, wow! And then I was, like, ‘Totally’. Hey, do you think those bong hits were such a good idea before this delicate and secret mission? Like, whoa, dude!”
February 28th, 2008 at 4:03 am
#241 mollificent. Re Phantom, don’t feel bad. For real public cluelessness, read #’s 52, 53, and 54 on the METAPOST TWO ITEMS thread:-) I’m even more of a maroon than you are—-I thought he was the villain!
February 28th, 2008 at 4:06 am
Still no end in sight for the Curtis storyline.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:20 am
You know you’re pregnant when the face-hugger stage falls off.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Chatty: Well, you know how it is when you see someone out of context. Face it, without the purple stripey underpants, he’s nothing much to look at. ;)
February 28th, 2008 at 4:38 am
The last few days of comics have been pretty benign, but holy gods, today made up for it.
A3G – LuAnn was startled! (How startled was she?) So startled she put lipstick on between panels! Wait, I told that wrong.
RMMD: “Ten thousand dollars? I’m a millionaire!”
FBoFW – True is right, Liz looks exactly like Elly, big nose and everything. This is horrifying.
FW: The only way that scene would end realistically is if all the customers bumrushed Funky as he tosses his dough in the air (geddit? GEDDIT? It’s funny!) and ripped him to shreds in a greedy bill-grabbing frenzy.
Gil Thorp – I am displeased. The bolder style of the previous artist was much better than the A3G guy. It’s hard to get a lot of mileage out of the fact that every character looks like a completely different person in each panel. And the idea of Andrew’s dad being a mercenary (like anyone in the Thorpiverse even knows what “mercenary” means) is just too silly to snark about.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:40 am
I forgot to mention that I am so damned excited for this medicinal marijuana plot to get going in Judge Parker that I can’t stand it. Hot diggity, this is gonna be good.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:29 am
GT – You know, I’ve been wondering lately how Andrew Gregory pays his bills. Now I know.
I wonder who his long distance provider is.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:30 am
DT: Panels one and two have Dick making a serious contention for Smuggest Character in Comic Strips 2008. Lots of competition, but a fair effort! It’s the vain preening with the coat in panel two that really sells it. “Ye Gods, that art store credit check thing was brilliant!”
GF: It’s not brilliant, but this week has funnier stuff than the past month of this strip. Let’s hope this means Darby’s dry spell is over for a good long time.
GT: They’re both awfully cheerful talking about Andrew’s parents abandoning his family. Not sure I disapprove, as there’s enough moping in the comic strips.
A-3G: Well, Margo seems to be settling into her manic, enthusiastic phase pretty well this time.
FW: Man, you’re irritating me more than Funky, Mr. Peevish McBackstabber…..
MW: The colorists on this strip really need to be taught what colors won’t cause make readers nauseated. What a trio!
Phantom: OK, hasn’t she quit the police to go about these wacky vigilante hijinks?
S-M: OK, they kind of glossed this over, but I’m assuming this is actually a full blown kidnapping in broad daylight in New York City, outside a theater that just finished a popular performance. Man, who could ever get anything to stick on ol’ Teflon Krandis. It’s not like his prominent henchmen has been burning down stands and holding up prison transfers or anything.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:49 am
9CL: OK, it looks like McDowner is back and recovering from his gall bladder unpleasantness. So, let me point out that this storyline had been going on too long when it was interrupted and that it highlights that one of his main characters is a tiresome prig.
Blondie: Just how narrow is the little boutique around the corner from Lou’s?
Curtis: Aw, man, you hit my favorite character!
Duck: Taking a brave swipe at rival right-wing strip Prickly City? Or just swiping gags from Daffy Duck?
One Big Happy: The confusion between correlation and causation to one side, is Ruthie’s school asking visitors in from Funky Winkerbean to depress the children?
Spidey: You know you’re comic strip has taken a turn for the worse when this guy seriously thinks he can beat Spider-Man’s time.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:36 am
MW — Because working at Peace Village is all about you.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Granny Trotz, can we at least have our ball back? No? Just wait ’till Halloween, lady. Just wait.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Sweet Marie! Mary and Jeff have all but pushed Drew out the door with his hat in hand and a brown paper lunch. What happened to the good ol’ days of helping your son forget a girl by hiring him a stripper?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:11 am
FW- When Funky tires of throwing money in the air, he could take a waddle over to “Marvin” and substitute for the Belly Laffs women. It looks like a baby is going to fall out of his hoo-hoo any day now…
February 28th, 2008 at 8:11 am
#68 Trotzenbonnie, will you marry me?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:16 am
FOOB: Overlooking the fact that the “smash cut” from the “What EVER will we do with grandma’s wedding dress?” to Liz talking about Blandthony, I think the final panel may be the first time Lynn has blasted through the 4th wall.
Liz is spiking the camera, looking directly at the viewer as if to say “wow, can you believe how wacky these people are?” As if Lynn expects us to identify with Liz and ponder a future caged behind the tallest toddler gate ever made.
Of course, it is equally possible that her gaze has merely fallen upon an institutional-size tray of crullers at the next table (behind the camera’s POV), which would explain her rapt expression.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:24 am
42 Ces–
Sally Forth minus Sally Forth is absolutely brilliant.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I love how the banner for the Christian Singles ad at the very top of the page (not the one with Busty McJesus) has a “Certified Christian” stamp on it. Just what I’m looking for in a potential mate: someone certifiable.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:40 am
#256 – Ha, the Great Wall of Milborough.
FC – I was hoping for a snowperson in drag today, but I guess I’ll just have to wait. Sigh.
FOOB – Liz, you should sign up to teach the liddle kiddies at Peace Villiage immediately. Hurry before Dee gets the modering spider web of old dress cleaned up and on display for you and Queen Elly. Fast!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Moldering, I mean! Ouch.
My mind is moldering.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:44 am
RMMD — I wouldn’t want to be Rex when June finds out he let Niki keep the entire reward. Rex Morgan MD (*Member Dismembered”).
February 28th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I had a dog who climbed trees. We used to take her to the Fens in Boston and let her off her leash; one time she managed to pursue a squirrel onto a branch more than six feet off the ground… and then couldn’t get down. We had quite the crowd gathering around that tree. Finally someone heaved my ex up high enough (not easy task!) sothat he could grab the dog and carry her back down to safety. So what did the dog do next? Yup, start climbing the next tree.
On another note, your timeline of FW misery omits the dissolution of Funky’s marriage and his spiral into alcoholism, including the time he thinks he may have run over a kid while driving drunk. And then there was his relapse, where he walks loaded into Montoni’s just as everyone is gathered there for his surprise birthday party.
Ah, the good ol’ days…
February 28th, 2008 at 8:49 am
MW – “When you decide to go can we see you off at the airport” translation -
“Mary and I want to make sure you’re not going to ruin our love lives anymore with you’re mopping and always walking in, so we’d like to make sure you’re actually leaving and going to Vietnam. Oh and I want to spend all of your inheritance on fast living with Mary so I just want to also make sure you’re going to Vietnam so I know you won’t be coming back. If only you’d driven off of that cliff like we were hoping so we didn’t have to spend 2 weeks getting to this point.”
February 28th, 2008 at 9:06 am
#225 – LTBF – We have the Checker’s burger joints in my hometown. We also have a really nice restaurant, known for it’s seafood, etc. called Chequers – pronounced the same, of course, and leading to much confusion when someone asks for a restaurant recommendation.
Having done some travel, I can also confirm that one man’s Checker’s is another man’s Rally’s
Also, it’s only 8AM, but I could really go for an cheeseburger.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:16 am
A3G: Boy, Luann sure is tarted up today. Apparently Margo caught her between shifts on the street corner.
Archie: This whole Raj sequence is horribly tiresome. Bringing an “Indian” in just so you can recycle jokes is pretty pathetic.
DT: Panel 1: I see Tracy went for the single wiper conversion on his car. Or did somebody just rip the driver’s side wiper right off? Panel 2: The tiny misshapen hand of his is still one of the most disturbing things in the comics today. Panel 3: Something I meant to mention from yesterday, but you don’t get rich from collecting. You get rich from selling your collections.
FC: No, no, no. Nothing about this panel adds up at all. What the hell is he doing, flagging down a jet? How the hell did they get out on the tarmac to build this guy in the first place? Why is there so much snow out there and for enough time to build a snowman?
FW: Boy, Khan’s a real bitter son of a bitch, ain’t he? Why are he and Harry constantly jumping around the store anyway? Just sit your asses at the counter.
Garfield: Uhmm, why is Jon sans forehead today? His hair magically floating above his eyes in blatant defiance of basic physics is tad unsettling.
GT: Hot damn, a mercenary story arc could be just what this strip needs!
H&L: They went to disturbing lengths to color match everything. Heck, even the keyboardist’s hair and pants match the amp and keyboard.
JP: So one sudden shift later and we’re about to find out what was in those brownies. That plot shift was downright Thorpian.
MG&G: Dead dog table stand; Horrifying or awesome?
Pluggers: So generally people retire when they’re 65 (don’t bother saying they could retire early, they’re pluggers after all). So 20 years after that means that these 2 guys here are 85. This teacher is well over 100 now?
February 28th, 2008 at 9:20 am
FUNKY ! – Finally–the money shot! (smirk)
February 28th, 2008 at 9:27 am
RMMD: It’s a cliffhanger….let the kid keep the reward, Rex, let him try to keep his mom off the pipe, start building a little bit better–screw it, that’s about as likely as Nikki owning a comb. Hey Rex, old buddy, can you buy groceries with ASHES!?
MW: “Drew when you decide to take off for Nam, please don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out.”
February 28th, 2008 at 9:35 am
2/28
Marvin: At this point Jenny’s “Belly Laffs” have about as much sense as humor. Aren’t snack trays usually flat? Therefore, unless you’er gestating an orange crate…
MF: This certainly dilutes the charges of intentionally making Hillary Clinton ugly. Man can’t even do a decent drawing of his own hand.
Agnes: Wins again.
SSmith: More about Lukey and Elviney’s foreplay than I ever wanted to know.
Luann: Hey mean girl! You’re supposed to have someone in your entourage who’s smarter than you. How else can you delegate?
BaBl: Fans of four-color breastfeeding, your time has come.
MC: Ah, so Norm read a lot of Nietzsche in high school.
H&J: I think we can all agree that Noyz just wouldn’t be the same without the grey-mohawked kid who plays the sawhorse.
Big Dog: Slippers are supposed to roast your feet?
Blondie: Hey, that mannequin around the corner has Blondie’s proportions. This is some town to live in.
RMMBLA: Niki’s absurd haircut is expanding. Maybe Lee tempted him to the dark side after all, and he’s transforming into Sideshow Bob.
FW: Now beyond all doubt, “Pizza World” is trying to make Funky look like a douchebag. Which is kind of like trying to make Manut Bol look tall.
C-shaft: Now Crankshaft thinks that all the woodland creatures are laughing behind his back. He has bad days, and worse days.
A3G: Margo has booked Lu Ann on an in-world equivalent to “The View.” This should bring goofs aplenty.
Crock: Um, Grossie, I could e-mail the guy sitting next to me. Your point got lost somewhere in the desert.
GA: Now we get to see what a 20-year-old looks like in Gasoline Alley. If I don’t see bobby socks I’ll be disappointed.
DT: “Observe, ladies and gentlemen. These drinking glasses depict all of the major characters from Shrek. As you might guess, Donkey required quite a bit of bargaining on Mr. Lector’s part. No, better to not ask for details.”
February 28th, 2008 at 9:49 am
#65 – Yeah, Wally could have murdered the stupid sumbeyatch, but he ends up America.
Khan will be bitter unless someone can transport him back to 850 AD or thereabouts. What a fuckin’ creep.
Actually, Funky is a creep too, so I can’t wait until this bitterness comes to head and fisticuffs are thrown.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Mary Worth – Airport scene: Mary in a snazzy hat waving a lace handkerchief. Drewchebag standing on the steps to a propeller plane. Proud Dad Cory leaning on his cane fighting a tear.
Cue Music: Gracie Fields singing “Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye”
Dawn standing in the shadows.
The plane explodes on takeoff.
Dawn smiles slightly.
Mary catches Dawn’s eye and gives a little nod.
Final shot: Charterstone at dawn. A new tenant moves in…
February 28th, 2008 at 10:02 am
#239 Mr. O’M –
You may be remembering Eggbert, a series of cocktail napkins, then books, that has been soiling our collective consciousness since around 1960.
Laffs galore: “That’s where I go out — but how did I get in?
February 28th, 2008 at 10:06 am
True, I was able to see the goats in trees. I also read the accompanying story. My favorite line was the goat poop stuff (go read it) can be mixed with almond paste and sugar and “spread on normal bread with a cup of mint”. I spent an idle moment thinking about normal bread and a cup of mint.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:09 am
#269 – sorry, I meant #265, not #65.
I think I better stop posting this AM and go have cake and coffee with Mary the Meddler.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:09 am
FOOB– Candace and Whoever-That-Dude-Is are made for each other. I mean, she has that giant blackhead on her nose, and he has some sort of ginormous, festering zit on his chin in the final panel.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:12 am
UL – That “cartoon” is so weird and quite a bit unnerving. Reminds me of a Nirvana Album Cover (In Utero) from 1993-ish.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:35 am
MW: Could Drew’s dad be booting him out the door any faster? Something tells me the old man’s been timing his Levitra for the last 35 hours, but just as Mary finally shut up the kid arrived yammering about some skirt!
February 28th, 2008 at 10:38 am
183 True Fable: Ahh, so if you liked the goat costume, I should probably upload the goat masquerade skit.. :)
227. Glutton4punishment: you’re asking US for help?? We’ll only pull you in deeper. :)
241. mollificent: if you had events, I’d want tickets to listen to you play! :) That was a funny pizza hut story… definitely memorable. And it’s okay, others have occasionally found MF to be “ok” for a day. Just rest, play your harp, realign yourself with the universe, and all will be well.
249. And The: Alas, I’ve found that Darby has one good week inbetween three months of painfully overstretched gags. Enjoy it while it lasts. Also: don’t try to inject logic in the Phantom, the two don’t mix at all.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Thursday Comics
A3G: Okay, back to WTF. In a series mired in 50s look, clothes and attitudes, we have a Herbandjamaalism referencing a thoroughly modern
millieTV show which, from al I’ve heard, is about as tedious to watch as A3G is to read, if you were forced to read a year’s worth of A3G in one sitting. (I’ve heard the show described wishingly as “The View… to a kill”.)Archie: New character asks questions intrincis to the premise of the strip. Unresolvable lest the strip implodes and ceases to exist. … More questions,
muleRaj!Blondie: blows my mind with topical commentary and seeing the outside of the diner.
DtM: shows for once a proper application for annoyance sources to cancel each other out.
DT: When Dick Tracy says “rears his ugly head”, it is not a figure of speech. DT villains are never pretty.
FC: Okay, what?? Not only pointless as before, but this time I can’t even figure out what it’s supposed to be. Someone waving by to the plane right above it? No one does that…
GT: On the same day as A3G, we also get the dichotomy between 50s looks and contemporary references to banking possibilities. Until the utterrance of money orders. Does anyone accept those anymore? It’s like travellers’ cheques – I don’t know of any store that will actually accept them. Why would they? Banks consider them cheques (i.e. not-cash) and probably charges them time and money to cash them out. Also, if the mother left her ATM card, and the children use it, that’s technically fraud – only the cardholder is supposed to use the card.
Phantom: Musical. Definitely, definitely a musical. A farce one, too. She flashed her “badge”? Is that what kids call it these days?
Pluggers: 65 + 20 = 85 for age of students, + 25 for teacher = that old geezer should not be able to lift a bag as heavy as he seems to have, no? Centenarians can be fit and not need walkers, but good arm strength is generally not a trait retained that long. Plus, he’d be in line for oldest living male. (I see Tweeks had the same thought…)
February 28th, 2008 at 10:39 am
179. Les: a well-done snapping in your head…remember to listen to those voices more often! Nicely rendered.
185. TF: …quickly writing down “metric fucktons” for future reference. The Good Thing is that it apparently applies to both metric and U.S. standards of measure.
I’m with Buck Ripsnort and a host of others: stop with the lame week’s (or weeks’) worth of lame, “theme” strips! I thought Get Fuzzy was wearing thin with the writer’s strike/agents, and that 9CL often falls into this trap, but cripes, at least they’re well-drawn and innately clever. FC was never clever, only cloying. And I’m waiting for the FW big blowup: whether it’s Khan finding his old handgun from Operation Whocares or Funky having a smirk-induced stroke, it doesn’t matter to me.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:44 am
I wonder when the mother in marvin is going to stop making stupid “Belly Laffs” jokes…..Its getting reeaaalllyyy boring to read.(more boring then usual)
February 28th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Slylock Fox minus Max Mouse…. Hmmm no difference.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:54 am
#271 UL — Holy CRAP that’s terrifying. The martini one is pretty great, though.
There’s also some pro-life Web comic out there about the adventures of a fetus angel whose life was cut cruelly short by abortion and now has angel adventures convincing people not to abort other fetuses. The angel fetus is significantly less cute than the Eggbert fetus, though it does have wings and a halo and everything — and I think a diaper as well, for some reason. Anyway, I was way too traumatized by it the one and only time I saw it to go searching for it again, but for anyone who’s interested: it exists, if you dare.
Josh
February 28th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Not-quite-Leap-Day comments:
FC: this is asking for it (not this one in particular, just in general). I hate you, Keanes.
DtM: kudos on this one.
JP: awright! The plot picks up again… Gotta love that doorbell. And once again, Abby’s been busy with that paintbrush, painting on her Levi’s.
MT: “Here we see how aggressive a Black Widow can be: even when she is threatened, she doesn’t cower, but rather continually looks for a means of escape.”
(And you thought there weren’t any critters in today’s strip.)
MW: what the hell else do Jeff and Mary have to do, other than plan exciting excursions, like waving bye-bye to Drew?
RMMD: oh, come on! Admit it! You all love that Niki ‘do, in all of its starfishy glory!
FOOB: (”..in our last panel, we’ve secretly replaced Liz Patterson with her brother, Michael. Let’s see if her friends notice. Or give a rat’s ass about anything except for each other.”)
February 28th, 2008 at 10:59 am
The best part of William F. Buckley’s demise: the unintentionally hilarious strip that will show up in about two weeks, when Bruce Tinsley earnestly salutes his beloved mentor with a trademark furrowed-brow portrait of Mallard, a single sad tear running down his cheek. Can’t wait!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:05 am
#282 Josh –
Umbert the Unborn.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Luann — I never noticed before, but Tiff’s eyebrows are embedded in her bangs….
February 28th, 2008 at 11:07 am
RE: 205, Corkey. You seem to imply that a series about “the elderly reminding them they’ll be dead soon, and their relatives have forgetten them” wouldn’t be popular. Haven’t you seen “Pluggers”?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:09 am
#285: “Umberto sounded too ethnic,” Cangemi said. “So I knocked off the ‘o,’ and Umbert was conceived.”
Wow
February 28th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Gabacho #270: if this were the 1850s and I susceptible to the wearing of crinolines, you would have made me drop my fan.
I’ll take three of you and that can of salmon!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Or maybe Neverborn, from the ever-topical Faithmouse?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:21 am
271. Eggbert cartoons: holy crap I remember those. I’m not sure if I should thank or spank you now… :)
February 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Uncle Lumpy, I wish I had never seen that. No matter where you are in the whole choice spectrum, it’s not funny.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am
FOOB: Yeeee-haaw! The FBOFW foob-talk published my letter!
“Elizabeth’s life is a slow, downward spiral which started the minute she decided to leave Mtigwaki and run back to Milborough. With the now-seemingly inevitable marriage to Anthony, her self-destruction is accelerating quickly and will end in a very sad, total wreck. Seeing her life play out like this is akin to sitting in a lifeboat, watching the Titanic sink and knowing that there isn’t a thing you can do to stop it.”
February 28th, 2008 at 11:31 am
A3G: Hey, look Luann! Wolves! Here, let me throw you to them!
BC: Most of the people reading the comics probably aren’t going to know what drawing to an inside straight is. I guess the idea is to fool the reader into thinking that the joke is really hilarious and that they aren’t laughing only because their knowledge of poker terminology is deficient. Change the reference to a hand that everybody knows – like a royal straight flush – and people still won’t be laughing.
Blondie: Upon seeing that sign on the window of Lou’s Diner, Dagwood realizes that even in America, he won’t be able escape reminders of recent events in his Kenyan homeland.
DT: Pay him a visit = Throw him out a window. Dick just can’t pronounce defenestrate.
GA: The pointless story about the mailman is dead! Long live a pointless story about a wedding!
GT: So Andrew’s dad is in the Taliban? I didn’t see that one coming.
MW: Jeff is really slavering at the prospect of getting Drew on that plane to Vietnam. By any chance, did he and Mary just take out a very large life insurance policy on Drew? I think Andrew Gregory can expect to see another check being deposited in the near future.
RMMD: So how’s Rex going to fuck this up for Niki?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:37 am
294. Joe -
Awesome letter.
I flash forward 5 years to Lizbeth ignoring her toddler torturing the cat, shipping Francine to a boarding school (paid for by Therese), swigging OJ/Vodkas after Anthony leaves the house for his Gordo-welfare job, sporadically remembering to take her Cymbalta and flirting shamelessly with married Ontarian men (and women) slowly working up the nerve for an affair but knowing her 45 extra pounds may open her to rejection…
Meanwhile Anthony has no such need to build up his nerve and is poaching or attempting to poach every insecure, depressed housewife in Milborough (and 3 surrounding communities) all the while carrying on a discreet homosexual relationship with Liz’s cross-dressing brother the famous author.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:38 am
MW: “Two words, Pops: Vietnam chicks!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:51 am
MW: I guess everyone has a father; some better, some worse, some indifferent, some absent. Regardless the type of their involvement or lack thereof in our lives they play a central role. For those that remain involved (good, bad, indifferent) we, as their kids, learn to take cues from their words and body language. Senior Dr. Corey makes it clear he wants nothing to do with his son until he is at the airport leaving on a life altering trip he has not yet planned, does not know how to plan and has made on the spur of a silly, non-sensical emotional moment.
Note to Drew: He’s Just Not That Into You.
Note to Peace Village: You’re getting a new doctor who makes whimsical, emotionally spurred decisions and could give a rip about really helping you. Good luck with that.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:53 am
294. Joe: well done! Another successful infiltration by the Upper Evergreen Patrol!
Here’s a small token of my esteem:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2298630078/
And just for fun…this one’s dedicated to Comic Conniseuer…Connisuer…Snow Blower (need I say NSFW?):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2298630062/
February 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am
FBOFW – Who is that guy on the left, and WHAT is that thing on his chin? Don’t tell me Lynn Johnson can’t draw a goatee better than that! Maybe it’s a wart. Or…a ring! Yeah, that’s it – he got his chin pierced.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Marvin’s running gag may be awful and unfunny, but at least it makes sense. The Family Circus is just baffling.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
FC: Amazing how much snow Tucson gets.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
301. Sans Sense: no no no! The Keanes are in Phoenix (Paradise Valley, specifically), NOT Tucson! 130 miles north of Tucson! Nowhere NEAR Tucson!
(And while Tucson does get more snow than Phoenix (no, really!, it’s only once every 4-5 years for us), don’t go pinning the Keane Klan on us!)
February 28th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
The more I think about the Family Circus running gag, the more I have to admire its cold calculation. It achieves the strip’s daily mission of “innocuous and trite” with remarkable efficiency. In a few weeks it will converge completely with the daily jumble joke. Plus, Keane doesn’t have to draw human beings, which is super hard.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
9CL – I see McEldowney’s trying out the NasalCam™ technique Rex Morgan was enamored of last year. Also, completely unnecessary thought-bubbling from Edda – would not the cracking of knuckles have been better pointed out by, you know, that little comic-strip convention known as an onomatopoeia? Possibly coupled with a more concise “Oh, good lord” from Edda? The drawn-out wordiness of Mary Worth is not something to aspire to, Brooke.
A3G – Oh please oh please oh please let Margo be on the show as well…PLEASE.
BB – EEYARGH
Crankshaft – Okay, he’s having WWII flashbacks or something. Stuff like this is why I read Crankshaft.
Curtis – Okay, why doesn’t Curtis feature fistfights more often? Billingsley actually does them pretty well.
DT – Yes, foiling this sinister plot by Dab Stract to kidnap the city’s leaders and show them his collections will be Dick Tracy’s finest achievement!
FOOB – Hmm, while Michael is turning into Liz, Liz seems to be turning into Michael. And you know, while I’d normally consider “don’t rush” to be perfectly good relationship advice, I can’t help but think back to Uncle Lumpy’s comparison of Foobian “love” to docking ships. So I say: RUSH THE FUCK INTO THIS, LIZ! If you’re really so goddamn fated to mate with Fishlips, just have sex with the creep already! Your personality might be mostly gone, but by going contrary to the Wisdom of Lynn and just banging the guy right off, you can in some small way rebel with the dying breath of your soul.
FW – So what’s the message here? That Funky has “sold out?” That he’s compromised the founding principles of pizza for commercial success? It’s like asking Metallica fans about the Black Album.
Luann – Ha ha, have you ever noticed, the popular kids, they are not intelligent? Seriously, Evans, your strip is as shallow as its characters.
MW – I’m holding on to my “possession by Mary” theory – anybody acquainted with evangelical tracts will recognize the “post-conversion” posture from panel two.
OBH – The joke’s older than the hills, but Ruthie’s hilarious indignance really pulls it off.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
#302. bats -
Could have sworn I saw the Keane Klan at “Scrooge in Concert” at Centennial Hall last December sitting in the Chancellor’s Circle…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
271 – ACK–and for those who want the “certified Christian” version, there’s Umbert the Unborn!
http://www.umberttheunborn.com/wombsite1_024.htm
February 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
FC: I think the snowman is yelling “Yatta!”.
RMMD: I think Niki will confess that he and Rex burned that money. Lessons will be learned, yadda, yadda, yadda.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
307. Batman Beatles -
More a “mistakes were made”, I feel I can only accept $2,000 of the reward, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then Niki’s Mom slams Rex with a “Contributing to the Delinquency” of a minor lawsuit.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
#278 Niall
Just change the B to a V and…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Thread on its last legs? I post anyway! BWAH HA HA HA HA . . . ha, ha . . . okay, whatever.
Dick Tracy: “Mr. Lector has the finest collection of everything. Let me show you.
Just go along with it for now, kidnapped citizens; but when he gets to Mr. Lector’s collection of venereal warts, you probably should avert your eyes.
Family Circus: We had the “Larry King” snowman yesterday; so who is this snowman supposed to be today? “Tattoo” from Fantasy Island? And I know that the setting is in front of an airport, but I’m not convinced that the snowman is actually supposed to be looking at an airplane overhead. Rather, I think that the snowman is engaged in an activity that is extremely popular in “our family;” namely, staring directly at the sun for hours on end. As a matter of fact, that’s probably when they get all of their “cool friends” ideas.
Marvin: Curses upon you, Belly Laffs! Not only are you not clever or funny, but you also describe situations that are not exclusive to pregnancy! To illustrate that none of the installments have been pregnancy-specific, I present my own interpretations of the purported “Laffs” to date:
February 28th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
309. Artist formerly known as Ben -
Interesting observation on regional slang. My young kids in CA say “Pah-china”.
Why do I think that in real life the Phantom’s Thelma and Louises’ bullet-riddled corpses would be forever lost in the jungle whilst their absence went largely unremarked?
February 28th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
310. Paperback Rifler -
Hilarious, thanks for that. Your fetish chair one reminds me of that old Stephen King story of the woman whose boyfrend handcuffed her to the bed during sex then died. Hilarity ensued…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Something bugs me about the current Gil Thorp storyline. How is it that Maureen is the first person to find out about this? Did Gil never once ask Andrew about his parents, call home to ask for his parents, or even wonder why they never came to games? Andrew seems pretty straight-forward about the fact that they’re gone, so if someone had just asked about them he would have told. Gil Thorp is a total bastard.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Yet more inane, stilted MW dialogue that makes no sense whatsoever, in the real world. Cory the elder is “retired” so other than leaving his special hag behind, it’s not hard for him to just cut loose and go to VietNam. Drew, a doctor with a job in a hospital, can just up and split like that on a whim? Going to Vietnam will lead Drew to the necessary life lessons for the greatest inner growth and fully vindicate Mary’s dull platitude.
Widow Bull’s piloting skills are lacking, maybe she’s not really Sam Hills with evil plucked eyebrows, afterall… Could Mark Trail punch Gunk or would he miss when Gunk throws Flyspeck Island soil in his eyes?
Candace is quite the hag, with her witch wart and her boyfriend seems to have some abnormal chin growth himself. The world needs inferior people to make saintly Pattersons look even prettier and more pious by comparison.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
#241 mollificent – Omg… you’re right. I didn’t realize it until you said that, I thought he was a villain >_> I feel so dumb. But then again I’m new to the comic and have never seen him without his costume, so that’s my excuse.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
HOLY CRAP. The person in today’s FBoFW is LIZ? I thought it was Anthony! LOL! I thought his hair looked a little funny!
February 28th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
If you take away the suspenders…
http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/1369/sremovedjo2.jpg
…you get a sad snowman sitting outside of Larry King’s studio. Maybe King rejected him for a guest, in fear that he’d melt.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Family Circus:
I normally cut this pleasant (well, perhaps insipid) cartoon a little slack, but since when is a snowman avidly giving the Nazi salute a “cool friend?”
February 28th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
FOOB: Wait a minute, when did that ponce Michael actually play hockey???
February 28th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
319: That will addressed in a flashback when when Elly reminisces how Michael won the Stanley Cup.
Six times.
In a row.
By himself.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
#318. Foobaphobe -
Not since 1945 in a certain corner of the world… or was that a rhetorical question?
February 28th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
#320. Little Guy -
Micheal cross-dressed, Stanley Cup finals, goalie vomiting, 6 times. Case closed.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
GT In school sports aren’t minors required to get signed permission slips, releases, etc., in order to participate? How did coach Gil (who was looking like Ronald Reagan the last time we saw him) miss that little detail?
February 28th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
the “belly laffs” horror makes me hate “Marvin” even more than usual, and jenny Miller especially so.
She needs an abortion.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Dear Bill Keane,
Too soon?
February 29th, 2008 at 7:06 am
102. The worst aspect of the Marvin pablum is that they are stretching a one panel “joke” into a three panel format.
Does it count as “three panel” if the first two are Xeroxed every day?