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What were the best angry puns from the ’90s? Let’s find out!

Luann, 8/27/12

Good morning, everyone! I’ve returned from my week-long comics-mocking sabbatical, and what better way to jump right back into the icy waters three-panel laffs than today’s Luann? Yes, Brad DeGroot has at last come into his own, lounging about in his tough-guy tank top, showing off his biceps and his fire department tattoo, running a comb through his greasy hair. The effect is somewhat undermined in panel one because that tank top looks long enough to be a cocktail dress, but still, let’s let him have his moment.

Momma, 8/27/12

Now let’s swim into full-on horror by moving on to Momma! Today’s strip is fantastic because just when you settle into a nice bit of disgust at the phrase “seeing some other mother,” you realize Francis is emitting audible groans of satisfaction and you want desperately to return to a world where the worst you had to deal with was a little light Oedipal humor.

Blondie, 8/27/12

Dagwood’s look of befuddlement shows that there can still be surprises in a marriage that’s lasted more than 80 years, and that those surprises are terrifying. “Wait a minute,” he seems to be thinking, “I’m the one in this marriage who goes on ‘wacky’ food binges in a doomed attempt to fill the yawning emptiness inside me. If that’s not my role anymore, then what am I?”

Hagar the Horrible, 8/27/12

In an example of the meticulous attention to detail that has made Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC famous, the irony in Hagar’s statement is driven home by the blasted, barren landscape his savage warriors trudge across, all the crops having been burned during the course of his band’s predatory raid.

Crankshaft, 8/27/12

Oh, goody, there have been 25 years of Crankshaft, so we will now be treated to some Crankshaft flashbacks! Nobody, not even Crankshaft himself, thinks this is a good idea.

Pluggers, 8/27/12

Hey, all you fancy-pants city folks with your computers! A little girl can’t sit on the dog-goned Internet, now can she? Check and mate!

278 responses to “What were the best angry puns from the ’90s? Let’s find out!”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    DT — Verily, I’m disappointed “Chum Lee” doesn’t look more like this guy:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Y8m29ZLX5ag/S3JpiVWE7gI/AAAAAAAAE1A/28ueQnQ1KJo/s400/TENNESSEE%2BTUXEDO%2BCHUMLEY%2BSKETCH%2BCARD.jpg

    I’m also convinced “The Great One” is a sly reference to Jackie Gleason a/k/a “Joe the Bartender”!

  2. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    JP-Avery was cocked and loaded too until the skunk showed up. Now he is half cocked.

    MW-That’s what you need an eyewitness account of a disaster that happened weeks ago. In the real world people would be talking about it as it was happening but this is the Mary Worth world where such things as Twitter and cell phones are frowned upon and discouraged.

  3. nescio
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Love Is: Congratulations, you’ve grown old enough to wear clothes so no one has to see your old crotch.

    MGG: No one cares that Grimmy is taking a dump in the library, they just found out that the only books available are Mother Goose and Grimm collections.

    NonSeq: Then the overseer threw the baby out the porthole to drown, and whipped the guy for talking.

  4. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    JP: “He’s cocked and loaded! That tail is straight up!” Okay, Avery, enough with the sex talk—there’s a skunk in your cabin!

    MT: Just give the sheep killers a look at your Panel 2 face, Rusty; that should scare them straight.

    MW: “Whaaa?!” thinks Wilber. “Moi? But—but I’m no ‘man’; I’m Wendy!”

  5. S.Stout
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Luann: Brad, a supposedly grown man, still tapes posters to his bedroom wall. Not even the behind-the-poster wall tape, he just Scotch tapes the corners. Little details like this make me think that Evans knows his protagonists are unlikeable losers, but lets them succeed anyway just to rile us up.

    Momma: Hey, at least he took his shirt off and rubbed his nipples off-panel.

    Blondie: Oh, to have Dagwood and Blondie’s metabolism.

  6. But What Do I Know?
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Much as I hate to draw any attention to details in Pluggers, it seems to me that a thick yellow pages would only be found in a major metropolitan area–rural phone books are much thinner. The one I grew up with was about a half-inch thick–and it included the white pages!

  7. wossname
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Perky Bird and all the funny folks on the float! Many thanks to Unca Lumpy for his excellent guest hosting, and welcome back Josh.

    FC – Haha. Child obesity is cute.

    RMMD – Hey Heather, maybe you could take Sarah out to the old Indian mounds to look for arrowheads. I hear that’s a good place to look for arrowheads, because there are many there. You know, at the Indian mounds. As a bonus, she’ll probably get to see a kidnapping.

    A3G – Between Saturday and today, Greg put on a tie. I can only assume that on Sunday, he and Margo ripped off their clothes for some hot I-hate-you sex, and then got dressed again in time for today’s scene.

    Bizarro – What’s that thing sticking out from under the couch? A piece of pie? An alligator head?

    Phantom – Paging True Fable! Goat alert!

    MW – I know trying to reconcile MW plots with journalistic reality is a one-way ticket to the looney bin, but I can’t stop myself. First of all, the shipwreck was how long ago? Weeks? Well, nobody cares about your first-person account any more! Second, “Ask Wendy” is syndicated, right? So this guy is an editor at a features syndicate? So what is he going to do with Wilbur’s article anyway, send it out to all the dead-tree papers that run “Ask Wendy”? And he seriously thinks that’s going to “PULL IN NEW NUMBERS OF READERS”? Argh, just argh. /rant

  8. pugfuggly
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Luann “Find guy. Stall for 6 months. Agonize for 3. Dither for 2 more. Finally decide to maybe do something about it. Guy moves away. Story of my life.”

    MommaWhen writers of Momma realized that this strip didn’t have too strong a joke, so they tried to boost it by having Francis let a massive fart in the final panel. Works for me!

    HtH “We never have time to appreciate the cultural diversity of an area before we slaughter all the inhabitants, burn down their villages and toss their culture in the ashbin of history. Makes you think, eh?”

    A3G “I promised no leaking, not after I ruined that couch in my director’s trailer…”

    MT I know it’s been said, many times and many ways, but HOLY CRAP THAT KID HAS A TERRIFYING FACE!

    MW “Wilbur’s editor has plans for him”. Nice that Mary Worth has started putting that little descriptive box in the first panel for those who can’t be bothered to read the rest of the strip.

  9. Dennis Jimenez
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – By look up a number, grammy means tear out a page to use as TP….

  10. pugfuggly
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#6):

    Much as I hate to draw any attention to details in Pluggers, it seems to me that a thick yellow pages would only be found in a major metropolitan area–rural phone books are much thinner.

    This is the plugger large-print edition yellowpages, which comes in 26 volumes each that size. Pluggers really hate trees.

    @wossname (#7):

    re MW: Whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. What the editor meant was that he was changing the format of his publication from a newspaper into a more profitable daily bear aficionado pictorial, and Wilbur is going to be the star!

  11. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

  12. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail- An old cabin? Someone must be staying there? This is the same EXACT plot as the fucking blind dog story! Just substitute Rusty for Butch this time around.

    Mary Worth- For the editor of a newspaper, Greasy McGreyhair’s desk is suspiciously devoid of a computer, paper, writing utensiles, or really anything that would make this an actual workplace.

    Funky- I think what Mopey Pete is saying is that he is going to try to get out of Westview. A dash that so many have tried and failed in the past that the citizens have all but given up any hope of ever leaving.
    On a side note, I don’t know anything at all about the comics industry. I’ve never been into comic books so forgive my ignorance, but is there really backstabbing and dirty dealing in the comic industry? Or is this just another weak joke attempt by Batiuk?

    Luann- B wad’s fire department tattoo and wife beater make him look like an even bigger tool. If that’s possible.

    9CL- People who get fired because they blow off their jobs don’t get fancy public farewells with standing ovations. Hell it even looks like satan is crawling out of the underworld onto the stage to take part in it.

    Cranky- How nice, Crankshaft has been ruining people’s lives for 25 years now. What a warm and uplifting thought.

    A3G- You do not try to dictate terms to Margo. She dictates to you, and you shut up and take it.

  13. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Family Circus- Who is Dolly’s obvious lesbian friend checking her ass out while she struggles lift her enormous head back up and stand straight up?

  14. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Dick – When do we meet “Shark”? Incomplete metaphorical ecocystems make Baby Chester sad.

  15. Lee
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    My god. Luann, Momma, Blondie, Hagar, Crankshaft and Pluggers? Is it my birthday?

    There’s something pretty unsettling about the elderly Plugger in today’s strip. Is it her blank smile that she’s somehow speaking intelligibly through? Is it her slight nodding lean? Is it the fact that her hair and eyes are the same color as the rest of her? She kind of looks like she’s very calmly going pale as she realizes that she’s having a massive stroke, and in her altered mental state she desperately needs to look up the number for 911. Pluggers!

  16. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Mark – Won’t Doc be surprised when he finds that he’s sent Rusty directly into peril AGAIN?

  17. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke – “Phil! For the love of god, help me! His butt itches!!”

  18. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann: Deodorant ONCE a YEAR ONLY? Gee, and here I always thought it was her shit that didn’t stink.

    Momma: Oedipus by proxy.

    Blondie: After another second, Dagwood’s shock wore off and he got excited. “You mean… you eat tons of stuff voraciously and never gain an ounce? Awesome! You’re one of us now, darling! Wait here, I gotta call Jughead with the good news…!”

    HtH: Hagar the Politically Correct Viking.

    Crank: The first 5 years only, please! Just the ones before Batiuk got unbearable! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

    Pluggers: Or, you pluggers could just, you know, use a BOOSTER SEAT! You could read the phone book to your heart’s content while the grandbeast, there, sits there doing whatever. Or, at least use Cerebus “Church & State II”.

  19. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

  20. C. Sandy Cyst
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Oh my god, the look of sheer horror on Crankshaft’s face at the very notion of reliving the past quarter-decade.

  21. C. Sandy Cyst
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Oh my god, the look of sheer horror on Crankshaft’s face at the very notion of reliving the past quarter-century.

  22. C. Sandy Cyst
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#20): Shut up, dummy.

  23. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man – How many strips have they done to the tune of “Tonight”? I’ve lost count completely.

  24. Chyron HR
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FW – “Detective Comics Comics (wink wink) is planning to restart the whole line with number one issues in August 2011… but you didn’t hear that from me.” Thanks for the hot tip, middle-aged Jewish woman.

  25. Ed Dravecky
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    If Grandma had ever been on Chat Roulette, she’d be all too aware that it’s possible to sit on the internet. (Sigh. Dave used to flash his junk to strangers on the internet.)

  26. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Family – “Get outta the way, Shelly! We’re about to find out how much a giant chili fart weighs!”

  27. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @gucci?? (#y34): Despondent spam didn’t even get to the end. “Why bother? Uncle Lumpy will just delete me anyw

  28. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Tonight on Alley Oop: A very special episode about pre-menstrual tension and the lengths cavewomen will go to avoid it.

    Amazing Spider-Man: I can’t believe they haven’t used the stupid “break a leg” pun yet. This is like waving a red flag in front of their eyes, of course.

    Apt. 3-G: Really? Then promise me you’ll get the hell out of my office and never return!

    Archie: I am Team Betty. There, I said it.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Folks, Amos is not clawing his way up from the orchestra pit to literally upstage Edda’s moment in the spotlight with a marriage proposal. He’s going to issue a savage beatdown on Ballet Dancer Guy for stealing his tango move, even though he’s known him for years and presumably has figured out before now that BDG is a) gay, and b) interested in dance. Of course, by the looks of him, BDG[*] will hand Amos his ass on a platter, in a story arc lasting weeks and containing more action than the Amazing Spider-Man.

    Cul de Sac: That’s exactly what you say to a cow, Alice.

    Dick Tracy: The role of Phishface will be played tonight by very special guest Larry King.

    Judge Parker: The editors wisely left off panel three, in which Sam and Avery leapt away, while the cabins exploded in gasoline-fueled flames behind them. Apparently, they decided there was enough homoerotic subtext as it was. No need to turn it into a buddy movie starring Bruce Willis.

    Mark Trail: Someone must staying there! And they must have a giant, ineffective eraser!

    Mary Worth: I know the square root of negative 25[*] is an imaginary number, but what’s a new number? Eleventy-ten?

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Speaking of homoerotic subtext, check out the body language in panel two. Do it, June! Escape from Rex’s cold, dead embrace! Run to Heather while you can still save yourself!

  29. Mark B.
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    “Weight beneath my wings” sucks as a methaphor, because if it’s beneath the wings, you can just fly away and shed it, like LuAnn is going to shed her loser family when she goes away to college.

  30. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Latest PCK is up!

    Entertorial on gross-out movies… and the laudable one that’s merely gruesome in parts…

  31. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Oh goody, an entire week of Crankshaft’s finest grill explosions, malapropisms, and crimes against decency and humanity. I can hardly wait.

    Luann: If it weren’t for the fact that Evans seems to have suddenly forgotten Brad lives with TJ now, so either he’s a) dressing and grooming at his parents’ house for some bizarre reason or b) Luann paid an early morning visit to her brother and is now hanging around uncomfortably while he goes through his daily toilette, and if it weren’t for the fact that Luann’s feeling sorry for herself despite being the one who held Quill at arm’s length until almost the last minute, and if it weren’t for the fact that both these characters are such total asshats that it’s impossible to believe any human being would ever find them appealing, the gently teasing banter between the two of them might actually be kind of cute.

    Pluggers: Despite frequenting thrift stores and garage sales like there’s no tomorrow, Pluggers refuse to pony up the five bucks to buy a secondhand booster seat for their grandkids.

  32. Hibbleton
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Luann: If Brad were wearing a cocktail dress, I’d start reading this strip again. Imagine the possibilities.

    Pluggers: Pluggers have NYC yellow pages?

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

  34. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . inviting Grams to the swing party.

  35. Tony
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Luann: Honestly, I don’t know what Toni has been holding out for. You can see, by the “Porsche” posters on the wall of his bedroom, that Brad is totally ready for marriage.

  36. Dennis Jimenez
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#32): I can dig it – Brad would have a sort of Sinad O’Connor vibe – he could tear up a pitcher of the Dali Lama, or something….

  37. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    I have phone books atop my refrigerator because they continue to get delivered year after year, several of them, even though I don’t have a land line. I almost wish I had little kids coming over to sit on them so they’d get used.

  38. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Plugger don’t live in places that have 500-page Yellow Pages books. I call shenanigans.

  39. btown
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MW: This is the best action pose I have ever seen in Mary Worth. Wilbur is literally shoved back into his chair as his boss, Peter Cushing, zaps him with a finger full of the Force.

    JP: Still with the innuendo? Yeah, yeah, tail straight up, load of cock, whatever.

  40. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#29): Haven’t you heard? Luann isn’t going away to college. She’s going to the local community college and will segway that into a successful acting career.

  41. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    9CL: Why can’t Amos run out of the orchestra pit, climb the stairs, and walk on from backstage? Is this like the Triangle Shirtwaist Company, and the orchestra members are locked in the pit to keep them from taking a smoke break?

    FW: Panel two may be the single most hideous human visage Batiuk has ever drawn, and that’s saying something.

    MT:….And yet, it’s still not as hideous as the eye-bleeding horror that is Rusty.

    MW: “I tell you, Wilbur, if this pays off, our subscriber count could go up by a dozen! Maybe two!”

    Pibgorn: That cheesecake master Brooke McEldowney lists as one of his influences a guy who regularly draws rainbows and sunbeams around the heads of toddlers and kittens breaks my brain in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

    SM: No, no, MJ, it’s “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Learn to Star Wars geek.

  42. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28): That’s exactly what you say to a cow, Alice.

    I remember Garry Shandling talking about rolling down the window and saying “Mooooo!” at the cows. And the cow thinks, “There’s a cow driving that car! How does he afford that?”

    [obFarSide: "Yakity yak yak! Yakity yak yak!"]

  43. catondan
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Luann:

    In the color strip it appears that Brad is wearing pink lipstick to go with his white cocktail dress.

  44. Esther Blodgett
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Welcome back, Josh! Thanks, Uncle Lumpy!

    JP: I think the offscreen band just got a cramp from having to switch from porn music to “Yakety Sax” so quickly.

    FW: So when Metropolis (cough) Comics goes looking for nerdy losers living in rat-infested walk-ups to help relaunch their lines, you’ll be right there in the catseat.

    C’shaft: Why does a comic strip that endlessly recycles the same jokes in the same pattern need a retrospective? Really, Crankshaft’s schedule of grill/garden/school bus jokes is more predictable than the Catholic liturgical calendar.

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    a lolcat for bb,u.

    suddenly, salmon.

    for Austria. (and the rest of the yaoi fangirls.)

    I obviously need to upgrade my cutlery collection.

    yaksquee. (and now for something completely different!)

    ikkle corgsqui. (first day home.)

    meanwhile, in Ann Arbor.

    beautiful merle corgi.

  46. Irrischano
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    I hope for Crankshaft’s daughter’s sake, that there’s a good amount of liquor in that coffee.

  47. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    JP: Woob woob woob! Aaaaahaaaahhhaaah! (And any other “panic” sounds Curly ever made.)

    S-M: Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what doesn’t happen next.

  48. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#6): Around here, phone books are not only thin, but small, and because several companies make and distribute them, most households have more than one. But that image of the single big fat phonebook certainly fits my childhood in metro Detroit, so here’s an extremely-belated haw haw haw. You’re so right, Pluggers! In your own special dimension!

  49. Joshua
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#12): Dirty deals certainly aren’t unknown in the history of the comic book industry, although the situation reportedly isn’t as bad as it used to be. Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster signed away the rights to Superman for a relative pittance, and by the mid-1970s were not only destitute, they weren’t even receiving credit as the creators of the character.

    They were eventually able to get enough publicity for their plight, due to the then-upcoming multi-million-dollar “Superman” movie from which they were entitled to receive absolutely nothing, that Warner Communications agreed to pay them a lifetime pension and provide them with health insurance, as well as restoring their credit.

    Or, in the case of Batman, Bob Kane managed to retain his credit as the character’s creator throughout his lifetime and beyond. Yet Bill Finger, who basically co-created the character, did not receive a share of the credit nor was he compensated accordingly.

  50. Ian Beste
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Pluggers “When yo’ mama sits around the Internet, she sits around the Internet..like on all the websitses…’cause there’s so many of ‘em…I’ll come in again…”

  51. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft-Twenty-five years of Crankshaft? Truly there is no god.

    MT-No one’s been staying at that cabin since those teenagers and their dog discovered that the old miner was dressing up as a ghost to scare away people.

  52. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible-Hagar became a Viking warrior under the old recruiting motto, “Travel to exotic lands, meet colorful people and rape, loot, and pillage them.”

  53. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#31): Thank you for so neatly eviscerating, er, analyzing LUANN. I was wondering where the sibs were supposed to be located, after I managed to tear my eyes away from Brad’s attractive white slip and his studly taped-up posters. I bet he’s also got one of Farrah in a bathing suit.

  54. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#49): The tale of Siegel and Shuster was told, with admirable economy, by Al Capp in a short sequence of Li’l Abner called “Jack Jawbreaker.” A pair of young, starving cartoonists (Mackintosh and Baldwin) have labored for years to create a comic strip about a giant flying right arm with a fist that smashes bad guys. Rockwell P. Squeezeblood, who has just hired Li’l Abner as a bodyguard, sees the potential in this and swiftly signs the two lads to a contract. The terms allow them a healthy percentage of what the strip earns, and newspapers are knocking down the door to run it. They’ll pay $500 a week for it! The boys would get half!

    Squeezeblood’s response is that he’ll only take $5 a week for the strip, on condition that the paper also runs a feature called “Mother Squeezeblood’s Recipes” for $495 a week. (Squeezeblood explains to Abner, with a wink, that he is Mother Squeezeblood.)

    Capp was writing about strips, not comic books, but he seems to have learned something from his years in the industry.

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    comics based Rule 34, no exceptions.

    meanwhile, in Zits.

  56. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    9CL — The fired ballet dancer gets an on-stage tribute? That mentions her pinup work for a clothing company? Would this ever actually happen, even apart from the cellist leaving his expensive instrument casually propped so it will be knocked down so he can slither onstage and join the action? The NYC of 9CL, S-M, and A3G is a very weird place.

  57. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Yeah, Margo, no leaks! I promised President Nixon.”

    CdS, Too Good to Last: “You silly moo!”

    FW: No, stupid, that’s Washington DC… or maybe Hollywood….

    MT: Cut that out, Elrod! Halloween isn’t for two months yet!

    Glibporn: Isn’t it bad enough we have the naked guy again?! We don’t need to have that, and talk of “discharge”, too! EW! EW! EW!
    Ruins that great panel one drawing as well!

    Popeye: Grumpers get their wordplay from old Sad Sack comic books.

    S-M: Please don’t get our hopes up, Clowny!

    ZtP: With all the creepy variations of likenesses meticulously drawn on the Dingburgers, and the fact that Zippy’s unshavenness i.d.’s him just fine, it’s the topknots one needs to differentiate the pinhead passel from the protagonist?! Here’s an easier way: just don’t read the Dingburg strips. Works for me.

  58. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#54): I read that! And as I recall, Jack Jawbreaker had a lot going for him compared to Peter Parker.

  59. PogieJoe
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Oddly enough, I tried Googling what Crankshaft strips looked like 25 years ago and only found links to this very website. You, Josh, are what keeps him alive! Maybe if we stop talking about him, he’ll disappear, kinda like the concept of memory!

  60. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    A & J — Could we readers just stay with Ludwig? I want to stay with Ludwig.

  61. bats :[
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#7): MW: “We are in a prime position to pull in NEW NUMBERS of readers! And by that, I mean DOZENS! Dozens, I tell you!”

  62. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28): Ballet Dancer Guy is Seth, and I’m all for the beatdown attempt if it will shut him up. Not all of us are in love with Edda.

  63. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#13): When I saw little Miss Weightlift McSoftballplayer there, every lesbian stereotype I’ve ever heard suddenly popped into my brain.

    (Look! There went some now!)

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#37): There’s a website where you can request to have them stopped; I did it a few months ago, and recently, I saw the folks coming around delivering new books. They came to my house, consulted a list, and moved on without dropping one off. Here’s one website that might do it: https://www.yellowpagesoptout.com/about-us

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45): I have a squeerequest today (since my time for wine won’t be until MUCH later today): any “first day of school” squee?

  64. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#57): Anybody hazard a guess about the reference in my CdS comment? Long overdue, I finally discovered it on YouTube. Hint: [*]

  65. Hibbleton
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: My only solace is that I had 30 years of Crankshaft-free comics.

  66. Mister Fogarty
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Luann is over at Brad’s place.

    They are going to give TJ a brother sister combo for his birthday.

  67. Ned Ryerson
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    re: Family Circus cameo:
    @Marc (#13): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#63):

    That’s Dolly’s friend Dutch. She’s not a lesbian. She just “hasn’t found the right guy”.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#26): Re: weighing a chili fart…would it weigh anything?

  68. Cranked Shaft
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#65):

    Sadly, Ed was in FW for years before there was a huge demand that he be given his own strip. So, you had fewer years than you thought with a Crankshaft free comic verse.

    You can drink the koolaid in the tubs at the back of the congregation if you want to end it all and meet The Maker. Batiuk will be happy to see you.

  69. Señor Tortilla
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Luann: CANNOT UNSEE FIRST PANEL IMAGE CREATED BY JOSH’S COMMENT. THANKS A LOT.

    Curtis: Talking about relatability: save an old woman, have Romney and Obama come to your apartment! How realistic.

    MT: …and the devolution is complete. A terrifying Rusty-face once more!

    9CL: Protip: an orchestra “pit” usually has stairs or ramps to get out.

  70. Bardelot
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Whenever I see Crankshaft on here, I’m reminded of the MST3K episode Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell in which the villain’s mistress is torturing the smug hero and Crow threatens, “I will now read every Crankshaft ever published!”

  71. sporknpork
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    The worst thing about Pluggers is that the “Yellow Pages” underneath the juice-drinking girl used to be the White Pages. *badum tss*

  72. cheech wizard
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    It’s nice to wake up Monday morning and find out that you spent the night on the float. Better than some of the other circumstances I’ve found myself in at first light. Thanks Josh!

  73. Hibbleton
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Cranked Shaft (#68):

    Is there no balm in Gilead?

  74. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Blondie and Dagwood have lasted 80 years together due to their shared belief that bulimia is a gift, not an “illness.”

  75. cheech wizard
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Luann – So is today a foreshadowing that Luann will be transitioning to a college-themed strip? Has Evans finally realized he’s tapped out the vein of high-school hijinks? Has he finally realized he just doesn’t understand his subject matter? If so, why does he think he’ll have a better grasp of college life?

    Given that he’s stuck with the same cast of characters, no doubt they’ll all be off to the local community college – sorry, Delta.

    Actually, the more I think about this, the more I suspect this wouldn’t be about a change of venues so much as transitioning the characters into young adults so he can finally write about them having sex.

  76. Bootsy
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Welcome back, Josh! Uncle Lumpy did his usual heckuva job. I especially appreciated the “Confederacy of Dunces” reference the other day. O Fortuna!

    Anyway, going off grid for a few days due to Isaac. Wish the Gulf Coast luck everybody!

  77. cheech wizard
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#67): There are no lesbians in the Family Circus. Only tomboys.

  78. The Elf
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Josh, that IS a cocktail dress. We’re missing the rest of the picture, but it’s pretty clear. That’s the top end of a lovely little drop-waisted cocktail dress, with a little flouncy fringe at the bottom. Think ’20s flapper style. He’s also wearing silk hose and high heels. He’s combing his hair back to properly put on his wig. The tattoo just adds a little extra oomph to his whole drag outfit.

    See, Brad has figured out how to repel “the guys” too. He’s only interested in fellow queens.

    Read this way, LuAnn is much more entertaining.

  79. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

  80. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    A joke about Brad being the stench beneath Luann’s “wings” would at least have made some kind of sense.

  81. bats :[
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

  82. yaoi huntress earth
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Man, and I thought Batiuk characters liked to whine.

  83. bats :[
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#60): I like Arlo and Janis just fine…but it’s always a little whipped cream on top when Ludwig wanders through.

  84. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    MT: Not only has Rusty reverted to gargoyle in face and posture in panel two, but he seems unreasonably alarmed at the thought that “somebody must be staying there!” C’mon, Rusty, they probably won’t be SHEEP-KILLERS.

  85. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Oh, wow, that second panel of RMMD is completely awesome. You don’t even need to change the text!
    Sounds like a lesbian love traiangle to me! *Boom chacka wacka pow*

  86. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    9CL: How long has Amos been hanging onto the stage like that? They were dancing when he started, and now they’ve had enough of a curtain call that Edda has roses. Plus, Seth’s yakking. Is the rest of the orchestra pulling him back, or is he just completely incapable of crawling out of the pit? (And is that meant to be allegorical?)

  87. Will
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#31): Didn’t Brad and TJ move back to the DeGroot house after they demolished theirs looking for the little brat?

    GT: What’s this in the third panel? A lovingly rendered hand that doesn’t look the least bit like a flipper! New artist, or what?

  88. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    For queek: This will be my typical student a few weeks into the semester.

  89. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#18):
    Re: Blondie – it’s like the recent novel “The Night Strangers”, but with yummy food.

  90. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    9CL – The farewell dance went on so long that Amos expired in the pit. We will see, when his mug finally comes into view, that he has become the walking dead and Edda’s happy little moment will dissolve int the “Götterdämmerung.”. And won’t that be a fine moment for all of us?

  91. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    So that’s why they’re called the Yellow Pages. I wondered.

    Ah, about Luann. You see, in the Luannverse, there comes a point where the internal dynamics of the strip reach a point where there has to be a reset, People might otherwise start rooting for, say, Tiffany or Ann Eiffel, and that would never do. So, as part of Evans’ attempt to distract people, Brad lands up back at his parent’s house, or Knute and Crystal go whateveritistheydoandcalladate-ing. QED.

    But if it was a cocktail dress, then hoo boy, I’ll email Evans to say all is forgiven.

  92. Ian Beste
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#67): Well, I would wave it…a-weigh…away…I’ll come in again.

  93. S.Stout
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#75):

    What makes you think they’ll be having sex? Big dramamtic kisses are considered sex in Luann. Evans has himself stated that since so few distributors carry his strip, he can’t afford to take any risks (which is a sad cop out).

  94. Agoraphobic Turtle
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers wear glasses even when they don’t have eyes.

    Momma: My main concern is that we can’t see Francis’s hands. This gets worse by the minute.

  95. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#49): Bob Kane had a pretty good deal at DC. No matter who drew Batman, Dick Sprang (who’s style was very recognizable), Win Mortimer or whoever…that famous Bob Kane signature was on the title page.

    However….Carmine Infantino, a superstar in his own right at DC, refused to sign his art as Bob Kane and did not have to do so.

  96. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#13):
    The L Word, the Early Years
    “She stole my Sunshine Meal toy, and then she stole my heart.”

  97. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @S.Stout (#93): “so few distributors carry his strip”

    Thank heaven for tiny mercies.

  98. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#81): Cuss Skunk, just in time to save the day by taking out Seth and Edda and putting them out of our misery.

  99. billman
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45):

    As Robert Plant said: “Ain’t no companion like a blue eyed merle.”

  100. billman
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28):

    In case no one else has said it yet, Seth, BDGs name is Seth.

  101. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    JP – The skunk has been trained to find Avery’s camera and erase the pot field pictures. Pretty damn smart skunk. A few points higher than Rusty on the IQ scale.

    MT – I thought these plot lines seemed familiar and Rusty kept reminding me of someone from my past. Now I know. Rusty is a doppelgänger of Howdy Doody and these are stories Bob Smith told us. Or maybe it was Spin and Marty on the Mickey Mouse Club. The Hardy Boys minus one?

  102. HAnzMFG
    August 27th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure which facial expression Greg Evans specializes in better: the never-ending grin that is constantly plastered on TJ’s face, or the amazingly smug “hey babe” look Brad has in panel three?

  103. HAnzMFG
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Hey Dagwood, don’t forget what Weird Al once sang… “Everything You Know Is Wrong!”

  104. HAnzMFG
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Viking empathy for their victims must simply be something that was never explored or understood by history. Hagar probably doesn’t mean what he says ironically, and look–Svalgaar and Björklünd back there in panel two look genuinely depressed.

  105. LanceThruster
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    HtH“Join the Vikings! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them.”

  106. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn – based on how dim Brad’s tattoo is, it is either of the stick on/wash off variety or else TJ drew it on with an eyeliner pencil. Cuz, you know, mom would be really pissed if he got a “real one.”

    MT – Speaking of “dim” did we mean to draw a knapsack on Rusty’s back and then just forget about it? Is it transparent? Or, as I said, are things here just a bit “dim?”

  107. Charly
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Google’s ngram viewer returns absolutely no hits for “signal service.” Cee Lo Green has a song for you, McEldowneRy.

  108. Dood
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “I could tell you, Margo, but then you’d have to kill me.”

  109. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    If you google Avery Blackstone you find out he’s enrolled in Sylvan Preschool.

  110. bbofun
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): The cello thing is even worse- IT’S NOT HIS CELLO! He borrowed it from the guy who’s now watching Gilligan’s Island (and who doesn’t have DVR, or a VCR, or a DVD player that he could watch the episode on)(or Netflix-Instant, or a computer to watch Hulu, or Xfinity, or an illegal download of the episode).

    Also, most professional ballet /opera house pits are about 7-8 feet deep, so the players can stand without being seen by the audience- so Amos either has a good vertical leap and terrific upper-arm strength, or he’s climbing over another player (which would be a funny visual, so of course we won’t see it).

    Re: Siegel and Shuster- look, I hate to be on the side of the corporate overlords, but one thing that gets lost in the telling of how they were ripped-off is that no one knew that Superman would be a hit. They had developed other characters who weren’t big hits (Slam Bradley, Dr. Occult), and got the same deal as they had for Superman. I’m not saying that NPP (the folks who published what became DC Comics) shouldn’t have treated them better- just that they weren’t deliberately treated worse.

  111. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Is that a wifebeater Brad is wearing, or one of the summer closeout specials from Land’s End?

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#67): Re: weighing a chili fart…would it weigh anything?
    Well, how would you go about finding out?
    Dolly’s …gasp… doing it right.

    @HAnzMFG (#103): Hey Dagwood, don’t forget what Weird Al once sang… “Everything You Know Is Wrong!”
    I never heard that one before. Apart from the Firesign Theatre reference in the title, it sounds like Al’s tribute to They Might Be Giants. I like it.

  113. bbofun
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Charly (#107): Actually “signal service is a fairly popular phrase. It means “notable”- usually used in tributes. So, in this case, Brooke got it right.

    JP- Honestly? I thought Sam and Avery were suppose to be “the great outdoorsmen”. It’s a skunk- not a black mamba. Even IF it sprays you, you just end up needing a bath, basically. And you could prevent getting sprayed by simply throwing a sheet or blanket over the skunk. Wussies!

    MW- So, is this how Mary’s going to get to keep the “Ask Wendy” column? Wilbur’s going to become a star reporter? Maybe he’ll write a book? Or he could become the Ira Glass of disasters, wandering the world in search of great tragedies that can somehow become heartwarming stories?

    FW- Hey, guess what? When you plan your storylines a year in advance, you REALLY shouldn’t make reference to “current events”. The “new 52″ is a year old now. No one cares. (Oh, and “you didn’t here it from me”? He probably didn’t. That’s what the internet is for. Word of the re-boot was out 6 months before it happened.)

  114. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Amos is so idiotically single-minded that his brain can’t function on a high enough level to consider using the stairs on the side. If there were a pane of glass between him and the stage, he’d just be banging his head against it like a moth, over and over. He

  115. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#87): Eh, it’s possible. I thought that story line kind of petered out without resolving the whole house-demolishing issue, but it’s entirely possible that I just lost interest in it before they got to that plot point.

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: “Blondie, I’ve never loved you more than I do now.”

    C-Shaft: It’s a Crank-shi-versary week! Tomorrow Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead knock on the door, take a brief look around, and wordlessly turn around to go back to their car.

    MT: The further adventures of Alfred E. Neuman. “What, me worry about self-preservation?”

    MW: Editor Palpatine believes that Wilbur is the man to “pull in new numbers of readers.” And who knows? Maybe Wilbur can accomplish something even vaguer and more meaningless than that.

    FW: Mopey Pete is hoping to just get stabbed and be done with it.

    Crock: Thornton Woodbury III of the Hamptons has yet to learn that he’s the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.

    JP: It’s a little disappointing that neither of them let out a “zoinks, Scoob!”

    BB: Is there a number that you can call if you’ve been traumatized by exposure to Beetle’s feet?

    H&L: Lois displays pictures of her brother Beetle, as well as other members of the Great Family of Comic Strip characters. Jill Kaplan from The Pajama Diaries is placed at some distance from most of the others, for the same reason that her husband can’t join Hi’s country club.

    DT: I don’t care what your criminal outfit’s theme is, flip-flops are not a good idea for a mobster.

    GT: Football season is off to a weird and oedipal start.

    DtM: Refresh my memory. Does Mr. Wilson turn into an offensive Chinese caricature every Labor Day?

    SFx: Slylock has caught the culprit, but he won’t be satisfied until he’s also reported the victims to the INS for harboring undocumented relatives.

    H&J: Herb just signed up with a new gym. It’s kind of a long commute, being located in the year 1905.

    A3G: Ah, we’re back to the phallic innuendo. I should certainly hope Greg promised no leaking.

  117. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#106): With Rusty, things are never just a bit “dim.”

  118. This Guy
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Again with the Dutch angle. A little of that goes a long, long, long way–just watch Battlefield: Earth if you don’t believe me. The saddest thing is that Brookie doesn’t even do it out of some misguided belief that it creates visual interest, but only so he can cram his walls of text into the panels. In a visual medium, he makes the visual aspect completely subordinate to his verbosity. Tell me again why this asshole is still published.

    FW: That’s not even considering that in NYC you have only the average chance of getting cancer.

    Monty: This could be worth trying.

  119. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#31):

    Pluggers: Despite frequenting thrift stores and garage sales like there’s no tomorrow, Pluggers refuse to pony up the five bucks to buy a secondhand booster seat for their grandkids.

    Something about that bugged me too, but I couldn’t quite put it into words.

  120. Winnie
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Some of you may ridicule Brad, but I, for one, am glad he’s wearing a “long-tail” undershirt. Now he won’t be mistaken for a plumber, like a guy I saw at Home Depot this weekend.

  121. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#114):
    So Amos has become Justin Bieber? : P

  122. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#116): re: MW: True—he didn’t specify what kinds of numbers, did he? “Well, Weston, our circulation numbers used to be 33,000, but after your first-person story of the cruise-ship disaster 2 months ago, they’re now 252. No—wait—here’s an email from Charley Smith, canceling his subscription. 251!”

  123. Downpuppy
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#87): I haven’t seen mustache lips in Milford in 2 months. Definitely a change in artist.

  124. Andrusi
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Brad thinks Quill is a pretty cool guy. He goes home and doesn’t afraid of anything.

  125. Dennis Jimenez
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121): Who’s Justice Beaver? A supreme court judge in Slylock Fox?

  126. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#125):

    He smacks down evildoers…with his tail!

  127. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28): While I sometimes refer to him as “Captain Gaymerica”, the 9CL name you’re looking for is “Seth.”

  128. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#125):
    He’s a cousin of Cuss Skunk!

  129. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56):

    Would this ever actually happen, even apart from the cellist leaving his expensive instrument casually propped so it will be knocked down so he can slither onstage and join the action?

    Properly speaking, isn’t it someone else’s cello? Yeah, Amos wouldn’t want me as a character witness.

  130. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#113): Even IF it sprays you, you just end up needing a bath, basically.
    I think it’s more like a series of baths that don’t really take the smell off you nearly enough, and destroying the clothes you were wearing, and considering getting rid of whatever possessions you were carrying at the time. Undiluted skunk must is incredibly nasty and persistent (a fact that seems to escape many furry fans who fantasize putting it to Fifi Le Fume, the skunk character from Tiny Toons).

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#116): Does Mr. Wilson turn into an offensive Chinese caricature every Labor Day?
    I think he’s “turning Japanese” from sheer joy of less Dennis. Time to retire that pair of boxers, Martha!

  131. Inkwell
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I like Uncle Lumpy and all (the guy does a great job), so I feel bad for saying this…

    I’m so glad you’re back, Josh! Your posts are longer and I want to marry you.

  132. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Did you know that while it is legal to keep a skunk as a pet in the UK, it is illegal to remove its scent glands? I’ll bet there aren’t many skunk pets in the UK.

  133. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Okay, I managed to stop reading this, but didn’t Luann explicitly decide NOT to “romance” Quill? Or is that whole teasing, look-but-don’t-touch-but-be-really-possessive thing he idea of romance?

  134. This Guy
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: Coming from a guy who views his entire life as an opportunity to feel smugly superior to “sedentary people,” this doesn’t fill me with sympathy.

    GA: I’m pretty sure they make an ointment for kee-rash now.
    // An old joke, yes, but possibly not as old as this strip.

    HN: Meet Existential Dread Girl! Wasn’t she in the Legion of Super-Heroes?

    Sinfest: Kakumei Shounen Tatsuya?

  135. Hibbleton
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#132):
    Not with those filthy mouths!

  136. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#37): Three words: “Plugger cinder blocks.”

    Agnes – Today’s Agnes: it is pure win from start to finish.

    A3G – “In fact, I’ve already said too much. I’m sorry, but I’ll have to kill you n-” *CRACK* “-augh!

    Curtis – Uh, you know, Greg, if you hate TV that much, you could just not have it. Given that you’re established to be constantly short on money you must be using an analog-broadcast TV with a converter box, so you could just sell off the converter box and use the TV to watch movies on. Or, you know, you could just aimlessly bitch about it to nobody in particular.

    FC – Is that a little girl, or a dwarf bodybuilder from the late ’60s?

    FW – Big fucking deal. Doesn’t DC – sorry, “Metropolis” – restart things every other year now? Pretty soon they’ll be doing nothing but restarts.

    GT – So wait, the second panel is where the scene switches to running back Chip Visci’s house? Where were they in the first panel? Did she carry that cookie sheet all the way to another house just to suddenly resume the conversation they were having before they left?

    HOTC – Heart, those are the primary colors for additive mixing. Paint is subtractive.

    JP – …yeah, passing on the innuendo for the time being, why the hell is the skunk poised to spray the fireplace? Is it drunk as a…well, you know. (Oh, and I think we need a little Boots Randolph for that second panel. Hee hee!)

    Luann – Nice of Greg to slip some cameltoe into this just to add to the uneasy oddness of having Luann hovering around her adult brother talking about her love life and how she smells while he gets dressed and groomed.

    MT – Ahh, there’s the nightmarish marionette Rusty we know and loathe!

    MW – So the paper is run by Joh Fredersen of Metropolis?

    Momma – *VOMIT*

    Phantom – Welcome to every ’90s movie ever, Ghost-Who-Pontificates.

    PC – What madman planned an event in south Florida, period?

    RMMD – Oh, she understands all right. She understands perfectly.

    Shoe – You mean it tastes like Vichyssoise? *rimshot* <abbr title="(There, see, Shoe? I just did your own damn joke better than you did. And I’m not even a paid, professional humorist!)”>[*]

    WoI – “What the hell is ‘organic,’ anyway? Have we even invented chemistry yet?”

  137. This Guy
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Andrusi (#124): Brad thinks Quill is a pretty cool guy. He Eh goes home hoem and doesn’t afraid of anything.

  138. This Guy
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#136): [Curtis] Yeah, who the hell would view a thing for the sole purpose of complaining about how terrible it is?

    Wait.

  139. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#132):
    Ew, it used to be legal in US to have a de-glanded skunk – don’t know if it still is allowed. From what I understand they become very attached to their people.

  140. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    A3G-The big thing’s in his pants, Margo.

  141. UncleJeff
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Ghost-Who-Gives-HorseybackRides-to-Pretty-Women-With-Tight-Abs: I hope this turns into an arc about frack sand mining.

  142. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL-Edda was his partner? I thought this guy was gay.

  143. billman
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Armstrong? Don’t they make tile? http://www.little-gamers.com/

  144. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#110): @Artist formerly known as Ben (#129): You’re right — it’s the other guy’s cello. Amos is a real piece of work.

  145. SurrealKangaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if Blondie puked all that stuff up or is she fortunate enough that all of her excess fat gets stored in her bust. Both scenarios are equally likely I suppose.

  146. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#76): Hope all will go well for you!

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#130): Ick. I really think so.

  148. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois— While I was studying today’s strip trying to identify the comics characters displayed in the laundry room, I noticed something sinister. The laundry room is actually a chamber of safety hazards and building code violations:
    1. No hand rails on the stairs.
    2. No structural support for the stairs.
    3. Window too small to serve as an emergency exit.
    4. No dryer vent.
    5. Leaking plumbing.
    6. Flammable materials attached to the dryer.
    The Flagstons should never have hired Thirsty to build out their basement. Now they’ll have to bring in Mike Holmes for a basement inspection. I’ve heard that Lois really enjoys a thorough basement inspection.

  149. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#143): They sure do. Used to have yummy yummy asbestos in it, too!

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#76):

    Good luck with Isaac. I’m in Tampa, so we dodged the bullet — again.

    Scary Gary — Mmm… barbecue sauce.

    Not sure if it’s already been mentioned here, but Jerry Nelson, the voice of
    “Count von Count” on Sesame Street, passed away August 23.

  151. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#139): Pet-skunk laws and regulations vary by state and sometimes by local jurisdiction. (Yay, I CAN do short answers!)

  152. La Cieca
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wilbur would soon regret his decision to accept the position as second-string architecture critic for The Banner, even though the great Gail Wynand himself made the offer.

  153. AhClem
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – What a treat it will be to relive those classic comic moments: Crankshaft driving away from lunch-bearing mothers, backing over Keesterman’s mailbox or making fun of Lena’s brownies. It will be more exciting than … well, something, I’m sure.

    And, yes, I am ashamed that I know the name of Crankshaft’s mailbox-owning adversary.

  154. billman
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#150):

    1! One dead celebrity, 2! Two dead celebrities ah ah ah ah.

    (These things usually come in threes, any bets on the next one? Too soon?)

  155. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Amazing Spider-Man: Second panel – So I know that the motion lines are supposed to be indicating that Clown-9 is leaping into his wee, duck-headed clown convertible of terror and mild criminality, but it pleases me to believe that he’s using his leg to push the car down the alley because it’s funnier than merely driving the thing, and he’s just that devoted to his craft. Kudos, Mr. Insane Clown Man! Kudos! [/Golf clap]

    Zits: I’m pretty sure that Jeremy is saying, “One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.” Chances are, he wasn’t expecting a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

  156. Mr. Ray
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Six months from now, we will see a strip where Brad and Toni almost have sex before they realize his room has no door.

  157. Winnie
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#154): I think he might have liked that. RIP

  158. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Blondie-Tell him about the Screaming Chocolate Orgasm you had too? Or do you not want to tell him about the affair you having on the side.

  159. exapno
    August 27th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: What happened with Becky and her mother??? Last we saw, she told her dad to shut the video off. What happened Batiuk??? Stabbing? A kick in the boobs? I know it couldn’t be strangulation..

    How about just a dose of good old fashioned Cancer?

    Nothing. Now suddenly its screwing around with the comic books.

    ARRRRRRGH

  160. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-Pluggers have no idea how to look someone up on the computer so they have to use their grandchildren.

  161. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#134): In the universe according to Frazz:

    Kids are smarter than adults
    Janitors understand kids better than teachers
    Teachers are burn outs killing time until retirement
    Gym teachers are fat and stupid
    Parents are nonexistent
    Kids are infected with a virus that makes them stick out their arms when they talk
    Frazz is God

  162. True Fable
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! As long as he’s facing them they aren’t going to get a direct hit by the spray anyway. Skunk scent glands are under their tail, the part that’s facing away. The only thing that stinks in this strip is the fact that there is no boobage, the main reason for living as far as JP is concerned.

    Well, okay. Sam is not exactly striking his usual GQ pose in panel two so the Benny Hill effect still works.

  163. Chaze
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#159): And why do both comic dudes look like they need a Red Bull or a 5 Hour Energy Drink? Sleep apnea?

  164. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#7) on Mary Worth: Remember that 0, naught, and zero are new numbers.

    @pugfuggly (#10) on Mary Worth: I grabbed a random Romanian lady from the parking lot to perform an impromptu seance. Dingo said that Wilbur as a coverboy will repel any and all potential buyers of that magazine.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#26): I love the way you think. And ewww.

    @Mibbitmaker (#57): Do Dingburgers come with mustard or ketchup? Are sides of onion rings and tater tots included in the price?

    @AhClem (#153): In your defense, “Keesterman” is a pretty unforgettable name.

  165. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    How did Rusty get a Count Weirdly special holographic backpack? It doesn’t cast a shadow. Hell, it doesn’t even cast sides!

  166. endless sky
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    FW: So this is goodbye for Mopey Pete? Gee, we hardly knew ye. Did I miss the storyline where he had a starring role? I seem to remember one week where he showed some interest in jailbait Summer, but it was a fleeting moment. Guess he didn’t find his muse in Westview.

  167. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#7) said: “Bizarro – What’s that thing sticking out from under the couch? A piece of pie? An alligator head?”

    That’s a piece of pie. In every Bizarro there are several extraneous objects that are often difficult to spot. They can include a pie, an inverted bird, a flying saucer, an eyeball, “K2″, and several others. Above the “Piraro” signature is a number that indicates the number of these objects in each day’s strip. Today there are 3: The pie under the couch, the inverted bird under the chair, and “K2″ on the diploma. For a complete list of these, look here.

  168. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#166): Guess he didn’t find his muse in Westview.
    He did, but she died.

    Of cancer.

  169. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    FC Yegads! Is Robert Crumb illustrating Family Circle now? What’s next – John Waters does Mary Worth?

  170. pugfuggly
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#164):

    They say there’s no accounting for sexual tastes, but at least we can all agree that Wilbur is repulsive. On a related note, I believe ‘Repulsive’ is the name of the new magazine.

  171. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#12): Just substitute Rusty for Butch this time around.

    Rusty’s not nearly as clever. He’s never been able to find his way back to Mark’s jacket.

  172. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#170): I think Dingo will agree with you. The Wilbs is the bon vivant of the Repulsive lifestyle.

  173. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#148): I was trying to come up with some kind of Holmes on Holmes joke to make in relation to the Flaggstons, but the only thing I could think of is Holmes cutting a whole in the ceiling to look at the pipes and Trixie dropping out.

  174. Marc
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#154): Already did come in threes. Add him to Phyllis Diller and Neil Armstrong.

  175. bunivasal
    August 27th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    One more panel. One more panel and the encroaching blackness would swallow Luann.

  176. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#169):
    If only.
    I’d like to see Gilbert Shelton do Hi and Lois too.

  177. Perky Bird
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Wow, I didn’t check the site yesterday, and log on today to discover I’m at the top of the float! Thanks, Josh! That was a nice treat to find after having to endure a colonoscopy this morning. (And no, the doctors didn’t find any precious ambergris or Faberge eggs up there! Guess I’m not as lucky as Sam and Abby!)

  178. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#151):
    What I wonder is, how does a vet administer anesthesia to the skunk without getting gunged? Some kind of dart initially, perhaps?

  179. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    C-shaft Gee, 25 years of Crankshaft. It’ll be really interesting to see how Pam’s style evolved over 25 years from saucer-sized glasses and a wedge hair-do to… er… saucer-sized glasses and a wedge hair-do.

    MT Rusty is just one little busy-body. First, he snitches on the sheep-killers, then he goes after the riff-raff living in abandoned cabins. Next week, he tracks down overdue books for the library.

    A3G What else do you need to know, Margo? He has a big thing but he doesn’t leak. A lot of guys are like that. It’s their physiology or something.

    FW “I think I need to be where all the backstabbing and dirty dealing is being done.”
    What’s New York got that Westview doesn’t? Cancer’s not good enough for you?

    MW Weston! Weren’t you just in Italy? You’re just the man to pull in those new numbers – Roman numerals, I think they call ‘em!

  180. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#176): Hmm… this is like fantasy football. Let’s substitute the writers and illustrators for all of our favorite snargets.

  181. endless sky
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Luann: What’s with the college talk again? I thought it was established that she still has another year of high school. Or did she graduate off camera? (At least in FW they did a one-day reference to graduation.) Of course it would be realistic to show HS seniors making plans and applying to colleges prior to the last week of school. Nahhhh, it’ll never happen.

  182. Alison
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: “Find guy, romance guy, guy moves away”. Um, no. No, not even close. “Find guy, NOT romance guy, guy moves away” is more like it.

    Meanwhile Brad looks smug because his relationship is way stronger than his sister’s. For example, he almost kissed his girlfriend one time.

  183. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @catondan (#43): In the color strip it appears that Brad is wearing pink lipstick to go with his white cocktail dress.

    Yeah, that ho’ should be wearin’ red. What’s she got tattooed on her ass?

  184. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#180):
    Did you ever see the “Cathy” parody by Crumb, called “Caffy”, or the spoof/response to Crumb’s “Book of Genesis”, where the artist knocks off RC’s style for a Genesis band parody? Pretty fun and very drawn panels, but NSFW!

  185. Doyle
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28): Typical beefwit, applying logic and reason to 9CL’s universe. A homosexual man can easily switch his tastes to that of a heterosexual man’s, and vice versa. Despite being in love with his wife for years and fathering over dozen offspring, Edda’s uncle Roger instantly changed into a homosexual because — because the plot demands it! After all, he likes fancy wine and high culture, that’s gay, right? Likewise, despite being in love with his ginger boyfriend for years, Seth instantly changed into a heterosexual because — because Brooke demands it! And that Argentinian ballet dancer was totally hot and stuff. Amos is right to worry that Seth has become seduced by the art of The Most Beautiful and Gifted Ballet Dancer of All Time and has decided to become a heterosexual.

  186. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#164): Dingburgers are another idea TJ had for the burger place in Luann. It comes in regular, which is called the Dingbat Burger — or with extra beef (idea when TJ thought his boss was “beefing” too much about not doing his job one day), which is called the Silly Moo.

  187. Trillian
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers think the phone book naturally gets thinner over the years as their grandchildren get taller.

    I grew up in the sticks, so I always wondered why people on TV would suggest that kids sit on phone books. That won’t do much, wouldn’t the dictionary be better? When I went to high school, we moved to an actual metropolitan area that had big, thick booster-seat-usable phone books. Separate white and yellow pages, even! Nowadays, those phone books are about half the size of the ones from 20 years ago. Once the white and yellow pages are combined, it will truly feel like I’ve gone back in time.

  188. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#184): Ah! I’ll have to find those. Cathy did have kinda big legs, didn’t she? No wonder R. Crumb went after that.

  189. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#188):
    I have the G parody on Flickr if you’d like the link here, but Caffy has been hard to find as of late. : (

  190. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus:

    Are we sure that isn’t one of her brothers in a wig (and daisy dukes)?

    It really makes no sense that mystery chile is even standing there.
    The cartoon makes it seem like he/she is an over-achieving kid who is a personal trainer. Which I guess means that Dolly is spending her allowance to go all out for this school year.

  191. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#189): Oh, I found it! That’s Crumb, all right!

  192. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    MT – Ahem, Rusty….I hate to bust your bubble, but, umm…take a closer look at that, “OLD MINER’S” cabin, you see down below. THAT is the cabin YOU LIVE IN, you IDIOT! The “OLD MINER” whom you seem to think is down there is just DOC taking out the trash, YOU IDIOT!! And by the way, Rusty, I see you’re back to looking like your old scary horrifying self again. I guess that facial makeover Cherry paid for you to have was just one of those the cheap temporary type of makeovers. You know, just like all those cheap temporary tatoos that you spend all of your allowance on every week down at the T Rading Company! GET a LIFE, RUSTY!!!

  193. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Gee! Maybe if I find some neat old arrowheads up here, or down in that old cabin, I could make some neat arrows and go bag me one of them bighorn sheep! Then if those mead old bad SHEEP KILLERS come back looking for me I can swap them a big old dead bighorn sheep for my camera! HA-HA-HA! WHO said living way out here in the woods and not going to school would keep me stupid? Yessirree…I may be ignorant, but I ain’t stupid!”

  194. Zerowolf
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Josh– Maybe it is a cocktail dress, because Brad has joined the Radical Faeries WARNING: link is safe for work, but might not be safe for Baka Gajin

  195. Dale
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#179):

    MT – Rusty has seen the sheep killers only in the sense that he saw some people who just HAPPENED to be the sheep killers. He didn’t see anybody do the actual killing. That airplane could have been a drone.

  196. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#195): Well, if the sheep was killed by a drone, it must have been a terrorist!

  197. Zerowolf
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “I promised no leaking…” Hey, generic brunette guy and Depends have something in common. ®

  198. Zerowolf
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: Either the newspaper has a really low subscription base or mayonaisse sandwich recipes are more popular than I thought.

  199. AhClem
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#177): Congratulations! Two things to celebrate: COTW and a clean C-scopy. However, this means that you are permanently disqualified from ever having a starring role in Funky Winkerbean.

    Okay, make that three things to celebrate.

  200. Zerowolf
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: “it took three chocolate eclairs…” Gift lines like this really make me miss Dingo!

  201. Dale
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#196):

    MT -

    Obviously! It is well known that the police don’t arrest innocent people.
    This is why neither Mark Trail nor Slylock Fox need trials or even search warrants.

    Speaking of searching – Unless you’re actually digging up graves, a burial mound seems like the wrong place to search for arrowheads. Try a battleground or a museum (private to Rusty : take glass-breaking tool).

  202. Calico
    August 27th, 2012 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#191):
    It’s back online! And I saved each page! Yay!
    This site is pretty cool too.
    http://www.againwiththecomics.com

  203. Écureuil Écumant
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    CdS: Anyone besides me recall the story in an early ’70s NatLamp about the toddler obsessed with “moo”? “Moo” in that case being babyshit.

    It took me awhile to get my taste for chocolate milk back.

    @Will (#87): The new artist is definitely a fast learner, considering what a fascinating mess he made of this handshake just a few days ago:

  204. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#139): That depends on where you live. Some states it is, most not. There’s a list here in case anyone is interested.

  205. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#134): re: Frazz. No kidding. When Frazz accuses someone of acting superior, you want to make some introductions: Bike-riding Pot, meet Sedentary Kettle.

    @Perky Bird (#177): The whole point is not to find anything, right? (And the “scopy” part is a breeze compared to the prep!)

  206. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#189): I just searched Robert Crumb Caffy, and not only read the whole thing, but spent the last nine or ten hours reading all the other Bagge stuff that guy has up on his web site. (Where did I get this beard??)

    @Écureuil Écumant (#203): The story was in the “Kids” issue, from 1971. October, maybe? The issue also had “Death Is…”, which was a lot better.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#205): Last time I had sigmoidoscopy, I wanted to look through an eyepiece for the whole Fantastic Voyage bit, but the bastards knocked me out. I was zonked before the image came on screen, and they didn’t even record it. One time I had endoscopy, and they let me look in an eyepiece for a minute, and the next day (or so) I came in for sigmoid, and they had an extra eyepiece on there for me without me even asking. That’s how to make a procedure bearable for me. (I have a prep story that’s, well, memorable.)

  207. Will
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#115): I sympathize completely. Why should we be giving it so much thought when Evans obviously isn’t.

  208. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206): For me, this belongs quite solidly on the list of “Things for Which I Would Prefer to Be Unconscious, Thankyouverymuch.” Keep those Michael-Jackson drugs coming. (Seriously—when I had the colonoscopy, the doctor said, “We’re giving you the Michael-Jackson drug, but you’re not going to die.”)

  209. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    MW “And you’re the man to make it happen!” says the editor, pointing at the man cringing away from him, one hand gripping the chair and the other hiding his face, who can say only “?” (which I imagine to be a slightly higher-pitched version of the Tim Allen questioning grunt). All I can think is, they must have nothing on the staff but interns.

  210. Mr. O'Malley
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: It seems strange to have a miner’s cabin close to Indian mounds. Aren’t Indian mounds usually found on alluvial plains where there is lots of dirt to make mounds with? But not so much in the way of minerals close to the surface that one might want to mine as an individual operator? Add to that that there are bighorn sheep within walking distance and the location of this place becomes mysterious indeed.

  211. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206):

    Bagge’s comics are really good reads, aren’t they?

    The political journalism is alright, too. He’s a good satirist.

    And, “Caffy”…oh, that’s a great one.

  212. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#210):

    “Aren’t Indian mounds usually found on alluvial plains where there is lots of dirt to make mounds with?”

    Well, that’s supposedly not the case with the Almondjoy tribe.

    //They had a lot of nuts!

  213. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212):

    //They had a lot of nuts!

    Where’s HAMMY! when you need him?

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    August 27th, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

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  215. kkarenb
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#203): I remember that story. The illustration was a rendering in poo of one of the figures from Picasso’s Guernica. For some reason that story cannot be erased from my mind, no matter how hard I try.

  216. AhClem
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): I was awake and alert for mine last winter, and got to watch the whole thing on the screen. I didn’t feel sedated, although the fact that I knew what was happening, and didn’t care, is pretty strong evidence that I was!

    They didn’t find anything — not even “#214 anonymous web browsing” spam.

  217. odinthor
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    #206. [OM]M.

    Last time I had sigmoidoscopy [...]

    That’s an awful big name for reading something Freud wrote. Or is that Sigmundoscopy? Eh, as if there’s a difference…

    My modest colonoscopy story is just that the very professional, attractive, and pleasant nurse confidently said to me, as I well recall, “With what we just gave you, you won’t remember any of this, not even what I’m saying to you right now!” “Oh, really?” said I. Fifteen minutes later, the doctor scowlingly strutted in, and was thoroughly shocked when I brightly said, “Good morning, doctor!”. (I suppose he was more used to, “My lawyer will call you in the morning!”) I think they forgot to put the happy juice in the syringe.

  218. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    I smell spam, and this time, I’m laughing.

  219. wossname
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#167): Thanks for the info on Bizarro. Kinda like Hirschfeld’s New Yorker cartoons with the hidden “NINA”s. I’ll look for the Bizarro Easter eggs henceforth.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): Totally agree on the benefits of being unconscious while little cameras are being inserted into one’s lower digestive tract. Also on the efficacy of propofol. After inflicting the prep, the least they (Big Medicine) can do is drop good drugs into your IV and then watch you wave byebye – but wake up half an hour later without an anesthesia hangover.

    @anonymous web browsing (#214): That is some amazing spam right there!

  220. demoncat
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    luann. at least brad does not beat around the bush about Luann history of meeting and romancing guys and sending them packing and also hinting that the one she will meet in college is going to follow the same history. mary worth. omg wilbur is thinking i am now going to write something different and my collum will be still in the hands of Mary

  221. Poteet
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): @AhClem (#216): @odinthor (#217): I was fully awake for mine and experienced what I believe they prefer to call “some discomfort.” When it’s time for the next one, I’m going to explain to the doctor ahead of time that if necessary, I’m willing to trade a little brain function for anaesthetic that actually works. My friends say they don’t remember theirs at all, not that I’m bitter.

  222. Austria
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    FW: I thought about it for a while and realized this ties into the band story arc. When Mopey Pete goes to New York City, he’ll find Becky’s mom’s corpse in an alleyway – the victim of literal back-stabbing and dirty dealing.

    MT: AUGH! AUGH! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH

    Zits: ….I’m gonna start using that punchline on my parents.

  223. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#200):

    I bet she sucked them dry first. She might have gotten some filling on her face.

  224. Liam
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    FW-I hate to disappoint you but comic book writers and artists don’t hang around together in some office they do all their work wherever their homes and talk to each through the computers and over the phones.

    RMMD-It’ll be like in college. Remember those intimate moments we shared together.

  225. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#217): “Modest Colonoscopy” – the new critical darlings of indie rock!

  226. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#212): AND
    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#213):

    DID SOMEONE MENTION NUTS!!?? THAT’S THE REASON I HANG WITH THE ALMONDJOY TRIBE! THEY LOTS AND LOTS OF NUTS!!

    you can kind of see their nuts under their mound

  227. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous web browsing (#214): I think this was misdirected from Mary Worth’s mailbox.

    @wossname (#219): I even had propofol for my recent minor surgery–good stuff, and without the unpleasant side effects of general anesthesia.

  228. Sgt. Stoned
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: “I wonder if it’s those evil poachers living in that cabin. I think I’ll knock on the door and see.”

    GT: The first negro family has moved into the neighborhood. Guess who’s coming for cookies?

  229. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#226) said: “you can kind of see their nuts under their mound”

    You can’t fool me. Mounds have no nuts.

  230. Obélix
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone beside Dagwood Bumstead always keep his hands in his pockets when sitting in an easy chair?

  231. AhClem
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    All this talk of colonoscopies leads to a philosophical question. Which would you rather do: drink a gallon Golytely, or read a “Best of Funky Cancerbean” compilation?

    You have 5 minutes to think it over. Go!

  232. AhClem
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Obélix (#230):

    Does anyone beside Dagwood Bumstead always keep his hands in his pockets when sitting in an easy chair?

    Depends on which DVD is being played.

  233. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#211): I started being a Bagge fan about the time I saw my first comic by him. It was probably something in WEIRDO. Every now and then, I check the Reason website to see if it has a new comic by him. I think maybe he doesn’t do them there any more, alas.

    @AhClem (#216): That’s what I wanted, to see the screen. The prep is the really onerous part. With endoscopy, the whole thing is horrid. They gave me something to take against nausea, and I guess it was concocted on the theory that if that didn’t make me heave my guts out, then putting a fiber optic cable down my gullet wouldn’t. I think being able to watch the procedure would have done a lot to make it bearable.

    The first time I had to do prep for that stuff, I was in a cabaret at Houston’s Goethe House the night before, performing bits of “The Seasonings” by PDQ Bach. I was a shoo-in for the discontinuo, since I have a small reed organ for the accompaniment, and possess an adequate voice for the recitatives, as well as a slide whistle for “Bide Thy Thyme.”

    So we entered in a stately procession. First, the bass came in, carrying the slide whistle. I followed with my little bench. Then our soprano and alto came in, lugging my reed organ. The performance went well, and I tried to hurry us out of there with my equipment, as I had taken the last pill — what Jean Shepherd might have called the Boom-O-Lax — at the time prescribed. But the alto wanted to stay and hear the thank-yous, so I had to sit there, and sit there, and… well, they went on, and I couldn’t just slip out, because my reed organ was there.

    Suffice to say, I got through it without incident, but not without some discomfort.

  234. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#231) asked: “Which would you rather do: drink a gallon Golytely, or read a ‘Best of Funky Cancerbean’ compilation?”

    This is a trick question. Funky Cancerbean has no “best”.

  235. Ed Dravecky
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#231): Drinking Golytely is how Batiuk produces Funky Winkerbean.

  236. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    August 27th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#229):
    You can’t fool me. Mounds have no nuts.

    YOU HAVE TO USE A MAGNIFYING GLASS! THEY ARE VERY, VERY TINY!!

    they are wee almonds lad but it is best not to wee on one's nuts

  237. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: I bet that the new numbers Mr. Editor is speaking of have something to do with the square root of negative one.

  238. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Anyone care to suggest appropriate medication for first-day-teaching jitters?

    Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? Give me the inappropriate meds.

  239. Joshua
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#110): I can’t help but read this to mean that if Slam Bradley or Dr. Occult had given rise to cartoons, TV series, Broadway musicals, big-budget movies, and loads of merchandising, DC Comics hadn’t planned to give Siegel and Shuster any royalties from those projects, either.

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, DNUAIC (#238): Good luck to you. You’ll do fine. It’s not that different from being in a pulpit, after all. Indeed, your students will be just as attentive and solicitous and respectful as your congregation…

    … oops, sorry, I just remembered reading your blog. They will be better. After all, they paid to be there, and you can flunk them if they offend you!

    You’ll do just fine.

    // Don’t muck about. Slivovitz, and lots of it.

  241. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#231): I agree with Alfred E. Neuman; it’s a trick question. The “Best of Funky Cancerbean” is an oxymoron — like “jumbo shrimp” or “living dead”!

  242. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#241):

    OR NUTMEG!!

    meg ain't got no nuts

  243. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#233):

    Cool. I think I saw something before I found Neat Stuff. I don’t think I’ve actually seen an issue of Weirdo. I will someday, surely.

    Bagge is one of those people whom I can’ t say a bad thing about even if I have qualms with something he did. Can’t explain it much.

    Oh Yeah.
    Warning:
    Some time in the next fifteen minutes or so, I will post Part 9! of “Mistopher Trendy: The Case of the Missing Miner” story (a.k.a., I don’t feel like cut and pasting and emBolding the title twice in one day (it is odd enough just writing it)).

    Just giving fair warning….

  244. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#243):

    I’m just giving fair warning because there seems to be a cascade of nuts flowing. And, I learned a long time ago, perhaps courtesy the Dick Van Dyke show?, get out of the room when it fills with nuts.

    @ 15 minutes or so. and it ain’t a short chapter, Consarnded It!

  245. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: That’s just lame.

    // Anyway, he should’ve had the polish sausage.

  246. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#240): My wife points out that it’s easier than leading worship, because the students will assume I know what I’m talking about even when I don’t. Which is pretty much the opposite of church.

    The last time I drank Slivovitz, it left chemical burns in my nostrils. Sound like just the thing.

  247. cheech wizard
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    MT – OMG – is it Thanksgiving already? Because if that thing comes floating along Central Park this turkey day, it will make the Panic of 1893 look like a fire drill.

  248. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#246): Oh, no, wait. That was Kirsch. The Slivovitz simply inserted a screwdriver between my eyeballs.

    Good times.

  249. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#110):

    About Superman’s creators, you’re right National Publications Period…whatever….didn’t know that Superman would be a hit but they did capitalize on it handsomely. Perhaps if they had dangled a carrot by giving them bonuses of some sort, a piece of the action from the serials, radio, comic strips and TV then it would not have taken decades of them cranking out less than great stuff.

    Maybe an early incentive would have led to something as great as Superman by those two guys. True, they could have coasted and just rode on their fame and let others ghost their work and came up with lackluster stuff. But, it would have been great if they were rewarded better earlier.

    I know it was somehow proto-Work-For-Hire but the industry cranked out a lot of stuff, like the Doctor Occult and The Star-Spangled Kid, that didn’t inject largess into the coffers of the comic book company. They should have tried to cultivate from those who benefitted them most, early.

    I know Bob Kane, Batman’s creator had a father-lawyer and had a decent contract worked out for him when he sold Batman. But, it was seemingly good enough for the creator and the company….though, obviously, the ghost talent got screwed for years.

    It is a crappy situation.

    And, I guess the decision will be handed down soon? Last I read, last week the countdown began.

  250. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#246):

    Instead of taking something to calm your nerves, take something with you, which only you know about, that will calm your nerves. If the pulpit was a place where you are at ease, take something which you would have had in those public speaking engagements.

    It can’t hurt.
    Best to you. Though, I am sure you’ll do fine.

  251. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#250): Instead of taking something to calm your nerves, take something with you, which only you know about, that will calm your nerves. If the pulpit was a place where you are at ease, take something which you would have had in those public speaking engagements.

    A large caliber hand gun? Would you need a concealed carry permit? I was reading about a guy named Todd Bentley, a Canadian pastor currently based in the U.S, who heals people by kicking them. Jackboots?

  252. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#250): Who said anything about calming jitters beforehand? I need some cheap shit to cauterize the wounds after. Slivovitz is just the ticket, assuming I won’t need to be sober for my classes on Wednesday, having had a thimbleful on Tuesday.

  253. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#28): Someone else has probably informed you that his name is Seth by now, so I’m just sharing my amusement that I read “BDG” before I realized it stood for “Ballet Dancer Guy” and immediately assumed it was “Big Dumb Guy.”

    Because that also works.

  254. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#251): @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#252):

    Hey, whatever works.

    Jackboots. My luck if I ever see a pair in real life, it will be shown to me in 3D Shin-amascope! Nah. I’m not that lucky. I won’t see ‘em coming at all!

  255. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#41): Re: Pibgorn – it’s their shared love of Photoshop gradients that unites them.

  256. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#238): No medication recommendations. Just show up in the room a bit early to walk around and make it yours, and bring an opaque container of liquid to slurp on if you need to pause at some point. (What you fill it with is up to you.)

  257. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    August 27th, 2012 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#238):

    WHAT MEDICATION??! JUST BRING A BIG BAG O’ NUTS TO CLASS AND WHEN THEY GET OUT OF HAND PELT THEM WITH A NUT!!!

    soon all you have to do is show them your nut bag and they'll shut up

  258. Anonymous
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: Hold it. These people know there will be a battle with an unpredictable maniac who shoots acid, sprays potentially lethal gases, commits armed robbery and shows no concern for anyone’s safety–and these idiots BRING THEIR KIDS? These people deserve Spiderman.

    FU, W: Yes, life should be like this every day: another Batiukian character should go away forever.

    Jugs Parker: I can’t wait for Sam to look in that window. The skunk is in there, sipping his wine, smoking his cigars and wearing his silk pajamas.

    Mark Trail: If Rusty walks into a bad guy hideout in the middle of the woods, is it really a kidnapping?

  259. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    Oops. #258 was me.

  260. tallyHO
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (part8#146):
    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt.IX

    Space Age Crash Jazz Hands!

    The explosion done apparently threw us far from the Formerly Flyin’ Horseless Buggymobile. Fortunately, we crashed in a clearin’ and Race Manman, former race car driver who done apparently took his professhun a wee too personal, managed to get Doc, Mark, muhself and muh jug down in one piece.

    At lease thas wut they done toll me!

    You see, I got knocked unconscionably and they had ta drag me from the wreckage.
    Which explains muh dream.
    I wuz the King O’ MardiGras! Riding along, drunk on a float when suddenly Ah wuz yanked from mah perch, which wuz only a grasp or two away from a Bounty O Bodaciousness! As I tried to squeeze wif ease, thas when muh Royal subjects (drunks each and ev’ry one) stopped callin’ me King Mistopher Trendy and kept chantin’ Shufflin’ Snuffy.

    Wif a jolt like pure White Lightin’ hit muh belly and bounced ta muh noggin, I woke up ta find the Two Big, Strappin Fellers, and Doc, draggin’ me through the clearin’. We wuz headed away from the fiery, Space Age inferno…made all the more spectacular courtesy o’ that…snf…Smooth, smooth Scotch Whiskey!

    Wuh happen’d? , Ah inquired with the curiosity o’ Doc after a Rouge Mark Trail Clone Attack.

    Doc tol’ me, Snuffy, you passed out, we crashed, you got knocked out and then amazingly you took a nap!

    Ah said, Sounds about right! (While I was laffin’ as I tends ta do when Ah amuse muhself and others, Ah almos’ chocked on a pool o’ drool!)

    Mark Trail stood above me simootane eusly lookin’ like I felt and lookin’ like a cross between Grizzly Adams, Tarzan and Aquaman*.

    He said, We’re close enough to the mounds that we can make it on foot.

    Lookin’ at me he asked, Think you can make it, Smif?

    A smile parted muh face like the Red Sea at Holy What-the-Heck High Tide.
    uh-Yup!

    Ah summoned up the power that muh jug afforded me then Ah thunk about the fact that I have both Hell Hounds AND Revenooers on muh tail and Ah jus’ started running.

    I wuz keepin’ pace wif Mark And Race. But, Doc, he’s getting along, if ya know what Ah mean. He had that Knockular…wut he called a Mike Roscope, lashed around his neck. Well, he a started runnin’ and a heavin’ and a huffin and a puffin’ and that thing done bounced off his undulatin’ belly and knocked him out. If that ain’t ironical, I don’t know what ironical means. (Mainly cuz muh clothes is a wrinkled all the time! Plus, muh name is Snuffy Smif, not Words Smif!)

    We left Doc behind and ran fo’ the mounds, nuts ta the wind! Though, Ah do wished Mark had put on some under drawers under that “loin cloth” o’ raccoon tails.

    Next Time: The Call o’ The Wild fo’ Bear Necessities

    *Grizzly Adams, Tarzan and Aquaman walk into a bar called Doctor Doolittle’s Pub and the bartender says, “Hair of the Beasts that Bit Yous?”

  261. Poteet
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    JP — I suppose it really isn’t possible to buy a skunk a drink.

  262. commodorejohn
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#261): Oh, I don’t know. Any mammal oughta get the same buzz from alcohol, and the skunk would have a better sense of smell to boot.

  263. Poteet
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#262): In that case, Cuss Skunk, you’ve got a standing offer for a drink and dinner if you ever end up in my area. And if you manage to spray Sam or Avery, I’ve got a little travel money for you as well. You’re doing great, buddy! Keep it up! So to speak.

  264. Poteet
    August 28th, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    FW — Hey weird-looking guy, when you get to NYC, you might want to join the cast of A3G for a spell. The standards for “gorgeous man” there are extremely low, and you’d definitely have a shot.

  265. Poteet
    August 28th, 2012 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    MW — I shouldn’t be reading this weirdness, but I AM!

  266. Charly
    August 28th, 2012 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: (Tuesday) Touching Amos’s ass is the stuff of nightmares.
    Luann: (Tuesday) Second base, Brad.
    Family Circus: (Tuesday) My grandma had this taped to her fridge for yeeeeears, and there wasn’t any pedantic, namby-pamby, take-away-our-guns concern for the health of dogs. It was like, “don’t touch my ice cream, foo’,” like a real American comic strip.

  267. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 28th, 2012 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    MW: The image of Wilbur is horrifying enough. I’m just grateful that we’re spared the sight of his erection.

  268. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 28th, 2012 at 3:15 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#238): Teaching isn’t bad — providing you can avoid administrators and educational theory and just teach. The students actually appreciate it and tend to be quite interested — as well they should, since it’s not something they tend to have experienced very often.

    Good luck. I wish you all the best.

  269. Dale
    August 28th, 2012 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#210):

    The terrain and wildlife suggest that Mark Trail‘s Lost Forest is in Idaho or western Montana.
    Ed Dodd’s LoFo really was some property near Atlanta.

    Monday: Rusty could have easily said, “Hey. Someone must be staying in the old miner’s cabin.” The writers must script this stuff just one day at a time.
    Tuesday: Of course it’s occupied. You’re standing next to two archery targets.

  270. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 28th, 2012 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    *moaning plaintively* Noooooooo, Mary Worth editor guy. Noooooo….

  271. Dr. Weird
    August 28th, 2012 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#264):

    FW — Hey weird-looking guy, when you get to NYC, you might want to join the cast of A3G for a spell. The standards for “gorgeous man” there are extremely low, and you’d definitely have a shot.

    Wouldn’t he be impossibly exotic in the New York of A3G, what with his hair of more than one color and his non-standard body type?

  272. gleeb
    August 28th, 2012 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Who the heck is that? Oh, right, it’s Darren, one of the characters you ignored so you could give us the thrilling story of smirking up a mountain, and introduce the powerful important characters of __ and __, the gay couple who went to the prom together. And now you’re shuffling him and his perky bride off to the firetrap above the lousy pizza joint so you can give them the neglect you gave Mopey Pete there. Not that I disapprove of it in Pete’s case; he’s a dull little mope, ain’t he?

    Mary: Now Wilbur, I wouldn’t go so far as to say you shouldn’t be alive. Just not seen in public.

  273. Dennis Jimenez
    August 28th, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#249): He Who Draws W/O Proper Credit Or Decent Compensation*

    *In Bandar Tongue

  274. gleeb
    August 28th, 2012 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    @lishou slimming capsules (#273): Pluggers…would fall for this, but they kind of like being fat.

  275. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 28th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @lishou slimming capsules (#273): You’re unusually well-stated for a spammer.

  276. caley
    August 28th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Reading that Luann in my local paper (in B+W) and it took me a long time to figure out what Brad was wearing. I finally figured out that it was some misguided tribute to 90s comedy ‘Empire Records’ and Brad was wearing an apron with nothing underneath à la Renee Zellweger which explains why Luann is looking away, so as to not see Brad’s naked posterior and I was trying to reconcile the two when I came to the realization: Ah, tanktop.

  277. The Elf
    August 30th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#133): It worked for Twilight.

  278. Daniel
    September 6th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Luann “Tank top: the men’s cocktail dress.” Thanks! I’m gonna use that phrase from now on.

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