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Someone had better shout “Opa!” in a comically ethnic fashion by next week

Family Circus, 9/8/12

Oh, God, something horrible happened outside, didn’t it? Those aren’t the faces of little kids who were having some fun out in the yard; those expressions are of illness and queasy terror. And then there’s Dolly, standing in the doorway, staring at them, marking their words. “Are they telling Mommy? They were specifically ordered not to tell Mommy. They know the punishment for telling Mommy: More mud pies. More mud pies. You don’t know the meaning of the word ‘filling,’ Jeffy.”

Apartment 3-G, 9/8/12

Hey, everyone, the Professor’s back! Back from … I dunno, did he go somewhere? I guess he did, they made a big deal out of his return earlier this week. Anyway, now he and Greg are bonding over their shared heritage, which seems to be causing a stone-faced Margo to vibrate with hostility in the final panel. Is she about to unleash a series of vicious anti-Greek ethnic slurs that will result in her being forever blackballed by the cabal of Hellenes who pull the strings of New York’s PR industry?

Wizard of Id, 9/8/12

The moral of today’s Wizard of Id: Don’t be lured into complacency by the false promise of nonviolent agitation for radical change! Violent expropriation of the rich’s wealth is the only path to successful class war.

332 responses to “Someone had better shout “Opa!” in a comically ethnic fashion by next week”

  1. Cloudbuster
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    ASM: Spiderman’s having a hard time finding Clown-9 because all clowns look alike? Wait. What is that you’re saying? That’s not at all true? Well, I guess this just makes no sense at all, then. But Spidey got hit on the head with a hammer, which totally redeems the strip! Spider sense: Immune to butlers, bricks and now hammers!

    MW: Dawn, wouldn’t it be great to be something other than the spineless little narcissist you currently are?

  2. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Ballard St.: This is what I’m saying, guys. We need to get ourselves some cool uniforms!

    AbstruseG: That backwards “Kids-r-Us” R in “Friend Zone” really bugs me. Why is that necessary? What does it add? Dyslexics can’t climb the mountain of love?

    Buckles: I was told just the other day that you should never do this. You can give a dog ice cubes (my dog loves them after a walk). You can give them cool water, of course. But you should never give them ice water – don’t mix the ice cubes and the water. The dog can drink it too quickly and suffer stomach spasms.

    To be fair, I don’t think two cubes in Buckles water dish is going to be much of a threat.

    NS: If only it worked that way.

    Pluggers: Damn. I’ve got a motorcycle tattoo like that. From a 1972 Honda CB450 twin. Last time I rode a motorcycle in shorts.

    // There are some things which just ought to be self-evidently stupid.

  3. Dramman
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    3G> Margo is in a rage because she has no chance since Greg likes a little Greek in him, if you know what mean.

  4. Hibbleton
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: Greek!? Great (grumble). More diner food.

  5. J
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    It’s funny because they’re all going to be tortured to death in the king’s dungeon.

  6. Mel aka Mel
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: I think the professor is hoping Greg will want to “visit Shamu” after a little ouzo.

  7. bbofun
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    ASM- “My spider-sense will lead me to Clown-9!” (gets hit on head with hammer)

    (clears throat) THE WHOLE POINT OF “SPIDER-”SENSE” IS TO WARN SPIDER-MAN OF IMPENDING DANGER! LIKE A FREAKING HAMMER!

    (takes deep breath)Sorry. But, honestly, Stan Lee, you CREATED spider-sense. Sure, it makes no rational (sorry) sense. I guess it was just to replicate the fat that spiders will run away from a rolled-up magazine, no matter how sneaky you are in approaching them (and you really didn’t want Peter Parker to have extra eyes all around his head), but you still have to respect the rules you set up. Okay. Thanks.

  8. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    WoId: Where’s Mallard Fillmore?

  9. Spiff Bereft
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    FC: As two of her children are vomiting violently, Thel is too distracted to notice Dolly lurking in their nice clean yard…an unusually clean yard considering they have a dog…

  10. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Spiff Bereft (#9): Are you implying that Dolly made dog dropping pie? Typical big sister.

  11. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    FC-Those weren’t mud pies they ate.

    RMMD-And if June is bad Rex will take her to Tijuana.

    MW-How about volunteering at the homeless or doesn’t Santa Royal have a homeless shelter or even homeless for that matter. Maybe the homeless are sent to the hospital to be “treated”.

    MT-Cherry, have you thought about breaking Rusty’s legs and locking him in a cage to keep him from wandering.

    Gil Thorp-That has to be the most homoerotic subtext that I have ever read in the last panel.

  12. Illustrator Steve
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    MT – “Hey, Jack. WHEN are we going to eat lunch? This story line is going nowhere and YOU have been sitting there at your clip-art desk for hours now trying to figure WHAT you should have the sheep killers do with Rusty and you haven’t even let us take a pee break”
    “Yeah, you are right, let’s get out of here. WE CAN DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH RUSTY AND THIS STORY LATER. Now, let’s go get some lunch!”

  13. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#8): He Who is Not Even Supposed to be Named Here comes up fine on Darkgate Slurper and SeattlePI, but who is this “Wold” you invoke?

  14. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#1): I thought The Color Kid’s ability to change things’ color was lame. Spidey sense has to be a more useless superpower.

  15. The Ridger
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Oh, c’mon. Don’t most pluggers have some sort of WWII vintage military tattoo? And can’t that kid (pup) tell the difference between a tattoo and a burn scar? He must have seen some truly crappy ink.

  16. teenchy
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    WofI: Now with a cameo from the San Diego Padres’ mascot.

  17. The Ridger
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#13): I believe he’s implying that HWINEStBNH would feel right at home in today’s WoId = Wizard of Id (why not WoI, I don’t know).

  18. Illustrator Steve
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    MT – (Cherry): “Doc, we need to decide HOW to keep Rusty from exploring so much. But I have to finish glueing these maple leaves into my scrap book so, WE CAN DECIDE LATER WHAT TO DO WITH RUSTY!”

    (Doc): No, he’s probably outside!”

    (Sheep killer #1): “We can come back and kill some bears later but first we must take the kid with us and decide WHAT to do with him when we get away from here!”

    (Sheep killer #2): “Oh…I get it! By none of this dialog making the least bit of sense the kid will become so damn confused that we can drop him off in the woods and he won’t even remember his own name! Hey, Kid! WHAT the hell IS your name, anyway?”

    (Rusty) “Uhh, I forget. All of this traumatic stuff has made my mind kinda mushy, but I do remember something about a man…yes, a man named…ummm, Mark…yeah that’s it, MARK! This ‘Mark’ guy was supposed to meet me out in the woods on an old fishing dock once but he never showed up and I stood there for hours holding my rod while wating for him!”

    (Sheep killer #2) “Ummm, Never mind, kid. THAT’S more than we needed to know!”

  19. TheDiva
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    A3G: Calling it now–Greg doesn’t really have a grandmother Papadakis; he just makes up things to get in good with the people he wants to impress. This will no doubt end with him crouched in a cage, wearing a leash and ball gag, and thinking “I thought Margo was talking about playing with her pets…”

    FC: Ha-ha, nothing like a good dose of pica humor to get your day off to a queasy start.

  20. cartooncritic2544
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#36): [In response to "The thing that amuses me about older strips like Hi & Lois, heck even newer strips like Zits that I’m guessing are done by older artists, is that they are firmly stuck in the idea that the parents are a product of the 60s when they are obviously much younger"] I have to admit that’s one of the things I love about Sally Forth. All of the childhood and teen references of Ted and Sally are the same as my own.

    I’m with you guys. As I’ve mentioned before, if you consider when the baby boom began (the 1940s), the only REAL baby boomers on the comics page at this point are Mary Worth and the cast of “Pluggers.”

  21. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#17): Oh. You are probably right. I was thinking “wold” rhyming with “fold” – that ol’ tricky lower-case “L” upper-case “I” thing always throws me.

  22. gleeb
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    A&J: I thought they were already married. Dude, just go back to Arlo talking to the cat.

    Baldo: Fat guy’s gonna fart. Hilarity.

    Dick: Who is she? Nobody cares any more. And by “nobody”, I mean me. You dragged it out too far. Kill someone already.

    Doones: More twitter crap. Kill yourself already.

    ‘bean: Fat failure Funky makes a last-ditch effort to please the creator of the universe. Wouldn’t the mirror advise against it?

    Crap before animals: Yeah, why can’t people just be called Steve? Oh, you don’t pronounce it that way? How precious.

    Pluggers: …are clumsy and don’t buy American.

  23. TheDiva
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, folks, place your bets: how many weeks will it take to sit through the vows, and what suggestive position will they adopt while reciting them?

    FW: Forget it, Funky. If the Dark God Batiuk wants Cory’s life, nothing you can do will stay his hand.

    Luann: “Hurry, we have to stop Luann before she forces her relationship out of stasis!”

    In other news, I like the expression on the kitten Toni’s looking at. It’s pure “Please, please dear Bast, don’t let these crazy people adopt me…”

    MT: “Oh goody, are you going to take me fishing? Mark is always saying he’ll take me fishing but he’s too busy hitting people…”

    MW: “Well, don’t think about it too long, Dawn. Accidents happen all the time; it would be a shame if you were caught up in another tragic event…”

    SM: Now really, even fo Spidey this is sad.

  24. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#21):
    I never much did
    Like the WoId.
    Oh, once it was gold,
    Now just tired and old.

  25. Xorba
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

  26. pugfuggly
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    FC I love how Mama Keane doesn’t seem to be the least bit concerned. “I don’t have to feed you tonight? Awesome. I’ll just stick this in the fridge and I can take tomorrow afternoon off. Billy! PJ! Go out to the yard: Dolly’s made dinner tonight.”

    A3G: I think in this case ‘Greek’ is short for ‘Ancient Greek’, which is of course slang for ‘gay’. I can’t work out what ‘a little bit on my grandmother’s side’ is code for, but then again I’m not sure I want to know.

    ASM I thought at first that the audience must be loving this, but then i realized that if I were there I’d probably be so embarrassed for Spidey I would be hiding my face in my hands, waiting for it all to be over.

    MT Here’s a quick tip for criminals just starting out: if your to-do list of illicit activities contains the item ‘figure out rest of the plan’, move that item to the top of the list right away.

  27. cartooncritic2544
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    No, Rex, NO! The LAST time you got drunk on red wine and let June “visit Shamu,” we ended up with that bratty Sarah!

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Frazz: *saves the punchline for future use*

    9CL: I sit corrected. Amos creamed his briefs in panel 2 today.

    CdS: mmmm, giant ground sloths. here is a gratuitous bikini-shot of a giant ground sloth claw.

    Lio: well, that escalated quickly.

    PBS: sing it, Rat!

    SBp: call it “performance art” and double the asking price!

    DT: someone from the Timmverse, by the looks of her.

    JUMBLE: nicely done Burns.

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .buttsehks. We GET IT already! *sheesh*

  30. Mibbitmaker
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    DT: Not sure who that is, but I think she’s a character in Pibgorn.

    Luann: Even Spider-Man is better at saving anyone than that fool plan!

    MW: Right, Dawn, like you have any choice in the matter.

    R&R: Looks like Basset’s been reading Mutts.

    ZtP: Now this is good Zippy — surreal, pop-culture-laden absurdity, a lack of Dingburg, andOMIGOD, THEY’RE ABOUT TO REPRODUCE, AREN’T THEY?!?

  31. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    A3G-”To celebrate our shared Greek heritage let us wrestle the way our Grecian ancestors used to wrestle.”

  32. John C Fremont
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#17): @Nehemiah Scudder (#21): “I am the morning DJ at W-O-L-D (D-D-D)”

    MT – Rusty is about to sneak out the door and begin a new career as a Peanuts character.

    MW – Man, Mary just won’t let go. She’s like the pit bull of hospital volunteerism.

    RMMD – Like its namesake, San Diego is so romantic that it’ll still smell nice after it’s dead.

    Pluggers – My only “tattoo” came from tripping over a scythe as a kid. Apparently, Death was off on a coffee break or something. Nice guy and all, but mighty careless.

  33. Écureuil Écumant
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    BabyBlues: You don’t get down off a tree … you get down off a duck!

    Beetle: Since Halftrack’s idea of fun is getting good and soused, his wife’s already behind the curve.

    Crank: In fact, since Ed “lost” the remote by sitting on it, the house is twice as quiet lately.

    Love Is: …best left to be interpreted by queek.

  34. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#22): Pluggers: …are clumsy and don’t buy American.

    To be fair, there wasn’t any American made motorcycle in 1965 even close to the 305 Scrambler class. Still isn’t. To this day, you have the choice of buying a big, heavy V-twin, or going foreign.

    Personally, I preferred the Honda Dream (the street version of the same bike). Those high pipes were just dangerous. Of course, if you absolutely had to go offroad, and didn’t want to be starting brush fires…

  35. Écureuil Écumant
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#34): Still got my Yammie R5.

  36. btown
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Margo is mad because, as a partisan, she knows that Cyprus is Turkish!

  37. Borborygmy
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#34): Personally, I preferred the Honda Dream (the street version of the same bike). Those high pipes were just dangerous.

    See, that’s why they make assless chaps!

  38. gleeb
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#34): Hey, I had a little Honda Rebel. But Pluggers are the kind of America-first-regardless types who cause American goods’ quality to slip because the manufacturers have a built-in userbase.

    ‘bean redux: Come to think on it, Mrs fat failure Funky is probably disappointed because she’s been seeing her lover all these Sundays. Now she has to remember where the church is.

  39. Borborygmy
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#35): Two stroke, right? I had a couple of the Suzuki and Kaw 2 stroke triples. Hot bikes for the time.

  40. Écureuil Écumant
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    RMMRSA: Obviously June’s never heard of Santa Royale.

    “Rexie — Take me to Greektown — now!!

  41. Écureuil Écumant
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#39): At night we rode through mansions of glory in suicide machines.

  42. Ukulele Ike
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: I call the honeymoon’s in Brussels! Balloons and Bosendorfers redux!

    ASM: At least a dozen clowns standing around, you think it’d be easy for them to overpower that one goofball. Wait — are CLOWNS afraid of clowns, too?

    Also, I do not believe that this action would be entirely entertaining to watch from the vantage of a grandstand seat.

    DT: Very savvy of Moon Maid to wear that mask, which completely conceals her identity.

    H&J, panel 2: Well, that’s an unpleasant image.

    RMMD, panel 2: June suddenly recalls that San Diego is full of sailors.

  43. Steve
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    AC9&SM: “Hm. My auditory sense is telling me that Clown-9 is in front of me. But it’s not my spider sense, so I’d better turn around.”

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    a better pun than a week’s worth of MG&G.
    *calls on your brother. . . .*

    X-Men + Star Wars = oh Hells YEAH!!!

    dolphin bomb.

    mmmm, Padma. (saucy)

    bottle-feeding otterpup. *squee*

    The Daily Puppy is a lovely Black Lab.

    corgipup asks, how YOU doin’.

    too young for purlot.

    corgi on Lake Huron.

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

  46. Anonymous
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    It must be acknowledged that WofId does reveal to us a profound and deeply significant truth that we should all keep in mind this campaign season: IdMart really does stink.

  47. Nekrotzar
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Stupid browser. #46 was me.

  48. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y50):

    There are more rhymes than found in Wood,
    and here, please ecce signum:
    “This novocaine’s so gosh-darn good,
    it even makes a pig numb!”

  49. debussy fields
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    A3G– “And my grandFATHER was a Mamadakis. Now you know why we’re all so fucked up in this family!”

  50. bats :[
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#4): yay for Greek diner food! (Honestly, it’s great, and they usually know how to make a correct Monte Cristo sammich, too!) And then…

  51. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#48): Worked on that all night, did you?

    // Well worth it, I’d say! Thank you! That was the last piece of the puzzle. Now I can complete my epic translation of Atlas Shrugged into rhymed verse!

    // Now, to put it to music!

  52. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Bizarro – That’s a relief, actually. At first I thought they were in that Peanuts “quicksand box.”

    9 – You may now get off the bride, for fuck’s sake.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    ummm, has anyone mentioned today’s Google homage to Star Trek? iz rockin’.

  54. Jason D.
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    By assuming all clowns look alike, Stan Lee is guilty of the last acceptable form of bigotry, anti-clown racism.

  55. langostino
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    “I think we’ll skip dinner. Dolly’s mud pies were very filling.”

    Yes, that is exactly the phrasing and word choice we would expect from a child so ignorant that he thinks a mud pie is something to eat.

  56. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Henry – Christ, what an axle!

    Hi – It looks like the soul-crushing despair of living in the godforsaken scruburbs of Hell has finally reached them. They’ll be helplessly blubbering in a minute.

  57. Ian Beste
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#8): Hanging out in a Chinese restaurant I hope.

  58. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    love is… – Somewhere in England, Fred Basset’s laughing his ass off.

    Mark – You two could just take Rusty and drive him out 20 or 30 miles into the country and let him out of the car. It takes him three or four days to get back home from that, usually.

  59. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FC-Isn’t there some sexual thing called a mud pie? Maybe that’s the type of mud pie they are talking about.

  60. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#22) on Pluggers: That happens during the Plugger version of “Rumspringa,” rebelling against his Big 3 pickup driving parents.

    @Jason D. (#54): NO, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS ANTI-CLOWN BIGOTRY. There needs to be more anti-clown landmines and exploding noses.

  61. NoahSnark
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Looks like Apartment 3-G is going to explore Greek love. I’m sure the censor for the newspaper syndicate thinks the story arc is going to be a pain in the ass.

  62. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    MT-When I tell Rusty to be home from being kidnapped at a certain time I mean it.

  63. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    In today’s Mutts, am I the only that thought the cat was preparing to shoot a turd at the dog, skunk style?

  64. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Off topic, but I hope some of the musically inclined ‘mudges can help me out. I live in Birmingham, and whenever I have to go to the East Coast on business, I have to drive through Atlanta. It’s a big metropolis, and it takes a couple of hours sometimes to get from one edge to the other. I always like to listen to the local college radio stations, as they are on the absolute bleeding edge of avante garde music. You never know what you will hear.

    Several years ago, I was driving through, and I heard the most extraordinarily horrible record I had ever heard in my life. It was a 45 minute album of a guy playing the mouthpiece of a saxophone – just the mouthpiece, just him. He made gurgles and squeaks and trills and farting sounds, seemingly at random. I’d listen to it for a few moments, and then I’d change the station to something else, as it was really unbearable to listen to at any length. I’d turn back after a while, and it was still going. Change station, come back, repeat. Just as I was leaving Atlanta, and losing the station signal, the announcer came on and gave the name of the artist, the album, and explained about the sax mouthpiece.

    For the life of me I can’t remember who this was, but I’d love to get a copy of the album. It would be great to put on the stereo, say, if you were giving a party and you decided you wanted everyone to leave.

    Any ideas?

  65. HAnzMFG
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Occupy what? Oh, you mean that protest movement that exploded and then fizzled out about a YEAR AGO?

  66. Joshua
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Why are all the other clowns just standing around when Clown-9 is in their midst?

  67. Faoladh
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    A3G: As he discusses his Greek heritage, Greg’s pride causes him to swell to enormous size, like the ancient hero Herakles.

  68. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    S-M: Everything is going according to plan! Whose plan, is the question. Also, zzzzzzzz.

    JP: Most action-packed day ever! Also, zzzzzzzz.

    Wiz: Not sure how the “occupy” movement is akin to robbing the rich to give to the poor.

  69. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#51):

    Folks, here’s a story ’bout Lillian the Moocher…

    Are you sure the Simpsons haven’t done this already?

    As for my rhyme, now I’m thinking my pronunciation of the “u” in “signum” was incorrect. But we can pass it off as a funny accent.

  70. A different JD
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Perhaps if Dawn starts to volunteer at the hospital, some plastic surgeon will take pity and put ears on her head.

  71. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): No idea, even after some clever web search strings, but this is as good a time as any to remind everyone that their contribution to public radio makes maddening inquiries like this one possible.

  72. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#68): Obvious: The Occupy people want the tax the rich more than they are now taxed. Some of the rich people think that is tantamount to robbery.

  73. Droopy Says
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#66): Because this way Clown-9 can change into Hardly Har Har and no one will notice. Does that make any sensee? No? Then I’ve probably guessed right.

  74. Red Greenback
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#72):
    This is true, but why do those 2 dudes want to occupy the National Organization for Women?

  75. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#69): But don’t you just hate it when people speak Latin with a funny accent? It drives me nuts when I’m trying to talk to someone and they have a thick Gaulish, or Cyrenaican accent. And don’t even get me started on the Dacians!

    // Oh, I know, I should try to be more open minded. But if Cicero or Julius Caesar were alive today, they’d be spinning in their graves!

  76. Señor Tortilla
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    DT: Yes, Moon Maid is not dead, despite being killed over 30 years ago. Or at least it appears that way. Clone? Robot?

    FW: So, TheDiva thinks Batiuk is the God in the Funkiverse, too (see my SoSF comment). The biggest difference between the God of the Bible and Batiuk is that Batiuk is not a loving God.

    Spider-Man: How many times has this strip proved the “Spider-Sense” is bunk?

    Luann: Shame Evans can’t draw a cat that doesn’t look like a blob of toothpaste.

    MT: Is that a pair of pants in the last panel?

    GT: Awkward.

  77. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#74): They want to meet women?

  78. cartooncritic2544
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @NoahSnark (#61): @NoahSnark (#61): Looks like Apartment 3-G is going to explore Greek love. I’m sure the censor for the newspaper syndicate thinks the story arc is going to be a pain in the ass.

    Given no one in the strip is ever shown below the shoulder blades, let alone the waist, they could pantless and going at it every day and we’d never know.

  79. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Popeye: She had shoes!

  80. billman
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#75):

    That is so wrong on so many levels if I were alive today I’d be laughing my ass off.

    And i don’t even own a donkey. Although my great grandfather owned the world’s only 12-draught team of Appaloosa mules. Was actually in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, believe it or not.

  81. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Mt1: Perhaps you should chain him to a log, Cherry.

    MT2: So Rusty disobeyed you by wandering far from the house? Well, I’d say it’s time for a little tough love. Just forget about your Rusty, Cherry. Sure, you might miss it (although for the love of god I can’t imagine why), but if you poke around under a few rocks, I bet you’ll find another one in no time!

    (Oh, and don’t become frantic with worry there, Cherry, when Rusty is late and you know that desperate sheep killers are probably after him.)

    CdS: Goddamn Parkinson’s.

    FC: As always, the very best Family Circus strips are those in which the melonheads have been inflicting unspeakable horrors on each other.

  82. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): I’m thinking maybe Wildman Fischer. Or maybe Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica or Lick My Decals Off, Baby.

  83. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#26):

    if I were there I’d probably be so embarrassed for Spidey I would be hiding my face in my hands, waiting for it all to be over.

    Wait—are you suggesting that tomorrow’s narration box will read: Next! Our hero tries Eastwooding!

    (No political comments are intended with this snark.)

  84. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    A3G – How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar.

  85. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#80): I don’t believe it.

  86. Johnny Knuckles
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    ID: Nonviolent agitation? They already pitched their rape tent and Maid Marian who was holding the “too big to fail is bull” picket is missing. Um, too soon?

  87. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#82): No, I don’t think it was those guys. This was just one person tooting on a mouthpiece. Wildman Fisher sang, and Capt. B. had a backup band. Also, I got the impression that the record was fairly recent, in the last decade or so.

  88. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#75): John Byner had a rather funny comedy routine about what various Hollywood stars’ lives would be like had they pursued some career other than show business. The big laugh-getter was “John Wayne as a priest”, where Byner swaggered in and muttered in perfect Duke-speak, “Well, pace vobiscum!!”

  89. Pittsburgh Gardener
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    I know I scanned the responses quickly, but really am I the first to remark or Rex referring to his manhood as SHAMU!!!!

  90. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#87): hmmmm….need to get the mental Rolodex going because I love stuff like that. The Shaggs, Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music, Eno’s Music for Airports.

  91. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Pittsburgh Gardener (#89): See CartoonCritic @24. Thanks for playing!

  92. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I realize I can be very obtuse and there are certain things that whiz right by me, but explain to me again why Rex is getting all woofy in his drawers thinking about June in a thong. Am I missing something in the nude vs thong comparo?

  93. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    MT: You know sheep killers, if you take that little mutant to town, you run the risk of being spotted by this meddling old lady.

  94. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    You will recall that the last time Brad and Toni were all in a panic (when Shannon was sleeping in the laundry), they used a sledgehammer on the walls. Maybe this time they’ll use a sledgehammer on Luann and spare us the rest of this story. Okay, maybe just the hand she uses to write.

    Margo is puzzled. The girls in Apartment 3G always believed that Ari was a Poppadickass.

    To not decide is to decide. The sheepkiller-kidnappers have been not deciding for two days now. Their delay will give Mark Trail time to decide to punch them with the Fist o’ Decision.

    Yes, Dawn saw compassion and courage on the ship. She also saw brutality on Game of Thrones. Gluttony at dinner with Wilbur. Sexual depravity at Dave’s apartment. Dawn’s ready to move on; why don’t you do the same, Mary Worth?

  95. Outside Counsel
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Is it wrong for me to hope that Cory Winkerbean gets posted to Camp Swampy? Outplacement of all the denizens of the Funkeyverse could be the solution! Send Les to Mary Worth to mope around with Wilber; send the ‘Shaft himself to Gasoline Alley. Have the family in Heathcliff adopt the Crankshaft cat; send Funky himself to Garfield to deliver pizzas. Have CrazyHarry and the guy who runs the comic book store take up space at Herb and Jamal, have the high school mopes transfer to Luanne. Wally would be perfect in Gil Thorpe. Why isn’t this happening!

  96. sporknpork
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Who do you think you are, Aristotle? Horatio Sanz? Quit staring at the cue cards!

  97. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): It was a 45 minute album of a guy playing the mouthpiece of a saxophone – just the mouthpiece, just him.

    Sounds like it must have been WREK, Georgia Tech radio. Maybe email them and ask. We had a friend (grad student in theoretical physics) years ago who was a DJ there. They tried very hard to program the really odd.

  98. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Is no one else freaking out about Greg’s head changing shape in panel two? Maybe that’s why Margo looks stricken. She just realized she has a shapeshifter as a client and he is channeling John Stamos as we speak.

  99. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Golly gosh, it’s just like the ending of a fairy tale, except for being tasteless, gross, and utterly repellant!

  100. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @cartooncritic2544 (#78): And they barely change facial expressions most of the time no matter what happens, so, yeah.

  101. Spiff Bereft
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#10): I not only imply it, but j’accuse!

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#97): You may be right. Though I doubt if they have a playlist from two/three years ago. Atlanta has three college stations plus the regular NPR.

  103. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Oh, for…get a room!

    A&J – Ooh, scooped!

    A.D. – Are time-shares even still a thing? Judging by the fact that every person I’ve ever heard talk about them has had nothing but foul words to offer, I’dve kinda thought they’dve died out by now. (Or is this supposed to be a pun on time-sharing, and this is just a rerun from the days of ITS on a PDP-10? Not that that would make it less dated, but it’s equally bland in either case, so…)

    C&B – You and Ted Forth should start a class-action lawsuit, Billy.

    DT – “I’M BATMAN.

    FW – Oh, I’m sure this isn’t going to be hateful at all.

    H&L – Why does Hi’s hitherto-unmentioned neighbor have a ’70s pornstache?

    Lola – I’m not sure when I am, but it’s probably closer to 1974 than to now.

    Luann – “We need to go save Luann?” From what, figuring out things for herself? Evans, could you be any more transparently flailing about to prevent the plot from ever advancing? (Interesting note: according to Greg’s latest blog entry, his daughter is thinking of helping to write the strip. I say go for it – she can’t be worse at it than he is.)

    Mandrake – Yeah, ’cause this was so thrilling the first time.

    MT – “Let’s kill some bears! Wait, I need to get my smokes. Okay, never mind, let’s not kill some bears just yet. Hey, let’s go get ice cream! Ah, never mind.” Good to know these guys have a plan.

    MW – Oh my God, she’s the Thing that Wouldn’t Leave!

    PBS – PREACH IT, RAT.

    RMMD – More like Flipper, amirite?

    SM – Do it again! Do it again!

    Ziggy – Rabbits can abuse eminent domain too, you know!

  104. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#93): I don’t know . . . do they have “pancake swirl” at the local diner?

  105. SurrealKangaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: Ha, ha. It’s funny because P.J. and Jeffy are going to puke all over the floor.

  106. Ian Beste
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#75): Q: Why did the Gaul throw the horologium out the fenestra?
    A: He wanted to see time fly!

  107. greghousesgf
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#63): no, that would have been funny and you can’t have anything funny happening in Mutts.

  108. Little Guy
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s Breaking Bad: Rusty’s a gonna. Next week: the Fist O’ Justice meets Heisenberg.

    Curtis: You can’t get an appointment until Monday, so the kid has to go to school on Monday, and he just has to stop using “S” words…..?? Vishnu H. Buddha, these parents are assholes, and that includes you, Diane, so don’t toss any Mayflower Moving Vans at me.

  109. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    RA: Most of the material for this strip is just old and trite and I am amazed that the WaPo picked this as its winner in a new comic contest. I have been remiss in keeping up on my bran reseach. Does she mean there is a link between being mentally slow and confused? Lewis must get plenty of bran since she really spews the shit.

  110. Little Guy
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#99): You know how they are promoting “Once Upon a Time” with “Magic is Coming”? In this case, “Ennui is Staying.”

  111. Little Guy
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#23), Luann: A Bast invocation? In my Mundgeons Comments? Win!

  112. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL – “Wait til we tell our kid about this. Wait a minute, we’ll NEVER tell our kids about this, at least not until they’re eighteen.

  113. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#23): I think the wedding will take place with the participants arranged and seen from an angle such that Edda appears to be doing Amos doggie-style with a strap-on (the better to emphasize the natural hierarchy of the relationship.) Of course that won’t be what’s happening, you horrible dirty-minded person, you, and it will all be very Artful.

  114. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    MT – “We’re not bad guys. We’re just drawn that way. I mean literally. Holy shit, someone’s doing a bad job of drawing us.”

  115. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#23): Oh, god, the vows.

    I was thinking about the likely wedding-ish-ness, and know that there’s going to be some deal about Seth’s dress, and probably the nun (either the old one or the cockroach one) will be involved, and there will be an “informing the relatives” scene, and probably some wedding-themed modeling for Cignette whatever, and it’s beyond hope that Thorax won’t officiate, but I hadn’t thought of the vows.

    Wall o’ windy text straight from an inflamed thesaurus, here we come…

  116. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#107): I just had a horrible thought. Clown-9′s next hijinks could include lifting his jacket tail and shooting a turd at Spidey. Hmm, no, that could be hilarious.

  117. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#16): I think San Diego might be one of the most romantic places on Earth!

  118. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#117): Especially June in a thong on the jumbotron at a Padres game.

  119. Mumbly Joe
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    Wiz: I hate to point this out, but Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men started as a tax revolt. In fact, it was a revolt against taxes levied by the prince to pay for the domestic projects that were neglected in favor of the previous administration’s foreign adventures, by people who paradoxically wanted a restoration of said prior administration, and it was headed by a disgraced former noble, and really just latched onto “rob from the rich and give to the poor” as a popular slogan to rile up populist rage, after they’d already formed and started bandit-ing.

    I guess what I’m saying is… Occupy is perhaps not the best analogy to Robin Hood, among American protest movements from a couple of years ago. They were a tad less, “We are the 99%” and a tad more, “We Want Our Country Back,” if you follow me.

  120. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#115): Please excuse my ignorance here, or maybe just my lack of interest at the time, but have 9CL readers ever been introduced to Amos’s family? Good lord, the mind boggles over the possibilities when the Amosites meet the Berber harpies.

  121. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#21): Fonts that make lower-case L and upper-case I indistinguishable are a pet peeve of mine. They lead to such anomalies as the Beastie Boys’ album “Licensed to Roman Numeral 3″ (presumably the second sequel to their smash hit “Licensed to”), and the sickening mid-20th-century event “World War Ill”.

  122. DoctorNick
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @EVERYBODY (yesterday#89):

    Hi, EVERYBODY!

  123. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So for the next ever-so-many months, we shall be “treated” to Seth’s fussing over the wedding gown, decorations, and cake, while Edda (who now being unemployed, can devoted her full-time energies to nothing else) will go repeatedly through various stages of emotional turmoil, and that horrible family will be manipulating everyone and everything. Readers, now is the time to sprint like a gazelle, leaving all this far, far behind.

  124. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#106): Tempus volat.

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#109): What is “RA”? Nothing on Darkgate, SeattlePI, or GoComics with those initials.

  126. OMEGA SUPREME
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#2): Pluggers: Damn. I’ve got a motorcycle tattoo like that. From a 1972 Honda CB450 twin. Last time I rode a motorcycle in shorts.

    Hey, my last bike was an ’82 Honda CM450. Sweet, sweet bike. Never burned myself on it, but I’ve scorched myself on enough lawnmower and chainsaw exhausts to not have to relearn that lesson.

  127. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke – This is depressingly similar to a cartoon I drew (a fake Peanuts) when I was seven. Ha ha, the dog’s house is all fancy. Dogs, man. They just love doing wacky shit like that.

    Spider-Man‘s well-honed spider-sense tells him he’s being hit over the head and must express discomfort in some comical fashion.

  128. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): RA = Reply All, hopefully it is not syndicated too widely.

  129. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#120): I… don’t know. Certainly not recently.

  130. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#99): Sorry, repellent. Dang.

  131. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): The artist is probably John Zorn. The album might be one of the volumes of The Classic Guide To Strategy. There are reviews here and here that sound close to your description.

    I haven’t heard that one, but I have a handful of Zorn albums. He did a series of pieces named after sports games, in which he organized the activities of a team of free-improvising musicians with a set of rules determining who plays when, etc. I have just one of those albums, Archery, and it’s my favorite among the Zorn albums I have.

  132. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): “Reply All” just add the words “worst” and “piece of crap” and “ever” to your search and it should come up.

    I’m kind of amazed that I know that, being as I’m a foe of cryptic initials here. Some people would rather save a second or two typing. I want to save a brain cell or two trying to figure out what BB or DD is supposed to point to.

  133. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Id – Okay, the Occupy Movement has been noticed by this strip, and is now officially moribund, irrelevant, and unfunny.

  134. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#y69): “I was sad because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no cock.” —Ed Bluestone

    @Baka Gaijin (#14): I thought The Color Kid’s ability to change things’ color was lame.
    I imagine after causing a few traffic accidents, there just wasn’t much else to do.

  135. Anonymous
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#114): “We’re not bad guys, we’re just drawn that way. I mean literally. Holy shit, someone’s doing a bad job of drawing us!”

    Thank you, sheep killers, for pointing that out! Not only have the readers commented on how poorly the human caracters are drawn in the Mark Trail strip. NOW, even the poorly drawn caracters themselves are complaining about it!

  136. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#18): “…This ‘Mark’ guy was supposed to meet me out in the woods on an old fishing dock once but he never showed up and I stood there for hours holding my rod while wating for him!”
    Here’s where the blind dog story repeats itself. The bad guys will feel so bad for Rusty they’ll decide to keep him and show him the warmth he never got at home.

    @TheDiva (#23): 9CL: Okay, folks, place your bets: how many weeks will it take to sit through the vows, and what suggestive position will they adopt while reciting them?
    Ooh! Ooh! The ring will somehow get stuck in Amos’s pants, and Edda will have to try and get it out with her teeth! And if we see anything suggestive in that, well, you know what that makes us!

    @Peanut Gallery (#48): Yeah, I’d give that one a Pulitzer.

    (The gap in my commenting corresponds neatly to a cable outage today. Thanks to our brilliant “eggs in one basket” strategy, said event takes out or TV and phone as well. Nothing like calling the cable people and hearing their recording thank you for your patience and then suggest you go to their convenient website once every sixty seconds to put you in the frame of mind to converse with an underpaid telepeon when she finally comes on. Unless it’s the 42 seconds of the exact same music every cycle, including that one little break where it sounds like a human is about to come on.)

  137. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#126): Mine was from a 2002 Suzuki 800. It is amazing that once you burn deep enough to get rid of those nasty nerves, how little it hurts. It healed so well I don’t even consider it a scar. It looks and feels like the surrounding skin but just doesn’t have much melonin.

  138. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#123): You’re quite right, of course. But I’ll have to watch anyway because (1) I’ll want to decide for myself how this gross epic compares with the Lizardbreath wedding, and (2) I’ll be watching for the opportunity to attend, a la the Lizardbreath fiasco, wearing the most hideous bridesmaid dress I can find on the Internets and carrying an Uzi.

  139. Illustrator Steve
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#135): “Holy shit! Someone’s doing a bad job of drawing us!”

    I’m with the SHEEP KILLERS on this one!

  140. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#107):

    … you can’t have anything funny happening in Mutts.

    Two passed-over shelter dogs walk into a bar …

    And cry.

  141. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#126): I also owned a Honda 450 my last year of high school 1971. Never registered it and never got a license. Lived in a small town with no cops so we all rode around without a problem. That was a great bike.

  142. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#132): Actually I don’t mind doing a little searching for the initials. I amy be a little younger so I have the energy. But I could not locate DD. And now I am exhausted.

  143. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane — Oh, great. Months and months of Juliette Burber irony-mining “mother of the bride.”

  144. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#142):

    DD is Abby Spencer in Judge Parker. Or Blondie. I get ‘em confused.

  145. tallyHO
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#42):
    “Very savvy of Moon Maid to wear that mask”

    Holy What-The-Heck!

    I haven’t been reading the strip but I did see two of the dailies. One with this Moon Maid stopping a crime and another with some guy (Dick Tracy Junior?) at Moon Maid’s grave. (I think I got the context for both from the comments here)

    So, Holy What-The-Heck! Are you saying that she’s a g-g-gh-ghu-gah-ghost!

    //whew!

  146. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Blondie is not upstairs waiting for her kid to come home. She’s flashing her boobs to Herb Woodley while Dagwood is preoccupied pacing the floor downstairs.

  147. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#131): John Zorn, eh? You might be right! From those reviews, anyway. Tho I don’t remember duck calls – but, why not? I liked the one review, in QA format, where the question was, how can you tell this isn’t mindless noise? Answer: Zorn seems very serious about it! Well, ok.

    I will have to get a copy of one of his albums. Even if I don’t grow to love it, as you do, there is always the party-clearing factor.

    You know, the reviews trying to explain why this stuff is not rubbish, and is really artful, and clever, and difficult to do, remind me of one of my favorite Dr. Johnson anecdotes:

    The Great Lexicographer was observed by a musical friend of his to be extremely inattentive at a concert, whilst a celebrated solo player was running up the divisions and subdivisions of notes upon his violin. His friend, to induce him to take greater notice of what was going on, told him how extremely difficult it was. “Difficult do you call it, Sir?” replied the Doctor; “I wish it were impossible.”

    But de gustibus non est disputandum.

    // Please excuse my Gaulish accent.

  148. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#144): So I have to estimate bra sizes in the comics.
    I worked with a rather chesty woman. She didn’t have a middle name but was listed in the company phone directory as Debra D. Smith. Someone was try to say something. Maybe she was.

  149. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#115): Hands. There will also be much intertwining of hands.

    //Ew, people, get a room!

  150. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#134): Bouncing Boy and Matter Eater Lad were a couple of winners, too. I think BBoy was just a bone thrown to us fat kids who read LSH and MEL had the ugliest costume as well as the dumbest super power.

  151. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#141): I also owned a Honda 450 my last year of high school 1971.

    Probably pretty much the same model I had. A very solid bike. I tricked it out with fairing, saddle bags, sissy bar. Used to do incredible road trips on it.

    Unfortunately for my self-esteem, the Honda CB750 had already been out for several years, and was readily available on the used market. The 450 seemed awful damned clunky and slow in comparison. So I upgraded as soon as I could scrape together the dough. I loved that 750. Gave it to one of my brothers when I deployed overseas. Wish I still had it.

  152. tallyHO
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Comic Strip Spider-Man is off of my must read list until this entire conflagration, this creative abomination involving Clown-9 is over with.

    I’ll make exceptions: reading it by accident, it being highlighted here, reading about it here, but, like with Popeye, the strip is dead to me until they get on with it and move on.

    How many months has it been? What is the equivalent amount of comic book issues this storyline would consume? A gazillion-thousand boring issues?

    I won’t bother with SM, unless I’m dragged kicking and screaming into S & M. My worst fear is the next “villain” they will introduce will be PerpLEXed Panthur, who is an bald, evil genius that occasionally likes his paws and plays a high stakes game of chess using giant robot mice that play a low stakes game of toying with Spider-Man.

    Given this irresponsible creative malfeasance we are being forced to witness, I say we take a stand and. and…and…well, I’ll finish this after I take a nap!

  153. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#129): Any guesses as to what Amos’s family is like and what sort of conflagration will ignite when they interact with the spectrum disordered, Asperger-riddled posse that surrounds Edda Snowflake?

  154. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#136):

    Yeah, I’d give that one a Pulitzer.

    Thanks! I’m gettin’ on the phone to the committee right now… by the way, is it Poo-litzer or Pew-litzer?

    Unless it’s the 42 seconds of the exact same music every cycle

    It wasn’t John Zorn’s The Classic Guide to Strategy, by any chance?

  155. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): I found audio samples of Classic Guide Volume 1 here. Apparently at least some of it uses the whole saxophone (not just the mouthpiece), but it can be hard to tell at times.

    I don’t think this would induce me to leave a party unless the volume was uncomfortably high (which would clear me out in no time no matter what the music was). You could get rid of me more efficiently by playing “Hotel California.”

    I’m with Dr. Johnson, in that difficulty or complexity in the production of the music doesn’t automatically mean it’s worth listening to. On the other hand, almost anything can be worth listening to if you cultivate the perfect frame of mind for it. The question is whether it rewards you sufficiently for your trouble.

  156. Mike Lukash
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I must admit, I’m shocked that Brooke decided to have her say yes in one day…and on a Saturday.

    But here’s a pattern I determined. Edda is a Catholic girl that gets off on the naughty exhibitionist drama queen. Any time Amos does something “respectable” and “Proper” Edda runs like the wind dramataically. Only when it’s sex filled, raunchy in public does she enjoy it.

    If I remember, their first time was actually broadcast on the Internet for the whole world to enjoy…

  157. Mike Lukash
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I must admit, I’m shocked that Brooke decided to have her say yes in one day…and on a Saturday.

    But here’s a pattern I determined. Edda is a Catholic girl that gets off on the naughty exhibitionist drama queen. Any time Amos does something “respectable” and “Proper” Edda runs like the wind dramatically. Only when it’s sex filled, raunchy in public does she enjoy it.

    If I remember, their first time was actually broadcast on the Internet for the whole world to enjoy… And the only way Amos could get her to answer was to awkwardly pin her in front of an audience. Then she responded!

  158. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#137): It looks and feels like the surrounding skin but just doesn’t have much melonin.

    Melonin’s what makes the Keane kids so bland!

  159. Ukulele Ike
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#145): I’m not sure exactly how time progresses in Dick Tracy…..Junior is all growed up, but Dick never ages….maybe this chick is the never-before-mentioned offspring of Jr. and the original MM?

    Who knew so many Mudges used to be bikers? The testosterone schpritzing around in this thread is quite giving me the vapors.

    9CL: Yeah, we ARE gonna have to meet Amos’s family at some point before the wedding, aren’t we? I’ll bet his parents haven’t boinked since his conception. There’re going to be so many double entendres, slamming doors, and people caught outside in their underpants, we’ll think we’re watching a French farce.

  160. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    FC: Don’t forget the role Barfy played in making those “mud” pies.

    A3G: Aware that she’s been upstaged for the first time in eons, Margo changes her last name to “Markopoulos.”

    WofI: Forget it, Jeff. Go back to sleep.

    Curtis: Lighten up, dad. You can garnish it from the boy’s wages after you sell him to the Taiwanese factory. (Seriously, Curtis breaks a tooth and no one else in the family even looks at a dentist?)

    MW: “Failing that, it may inspire some kind of quality in you, good or bad. Honestly, girl, you’re kind of a washout now.”

    9CL: Brooke exhibits a rare dose of restraint in having Edda say “yes” instead of “Yes! Yes! Oh my God, yes!”

    Baldo: Yeah, ese, Tia Carmen is sixty or so. I think she’s heard that one.

    JP: Unbeknownst to Sam and Avery, that’s actually a live dear sticking its head through a wall and standing very still. It knows how to talk, and gets a monthly cut from the weed business.

    RMMD: Rex makes an attempt at turning on the charm. Unfortunately on his controls, the “charm” button is right next to “condescension.”

    BB: More to the point, why have the hosts put only one chair in the room?

    GT: “Whipping? Pads? Sounds so kinky I’ve just got to see for myself!”

    Luann: Crikey, I’ve seen some lame attempts to build suspense but this takes the cake.

    S-M: For most of us the sense that would lead us to the clown who doesn’t look like any of the other clowns would be called “sight.” I was under the impression that Peter had that one, although it may be compromised from sitting so close to the TV set.

  161. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Mike Lukash (#156):

    If I remember, their first time was actually broadcast on the Internet for the whole world to enjoy…

    In a stupid contrivance that set a new standard for stupid contrivances everywhere, yes.

  162. Arabella
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is this the first time we’ve seen the exterior of the Winkerbean house? Actually it’s quite attractive. Contrast with today’s view of the disappointing Neo-minimalist Bumstead house. Since Dagwood and Blondie have lived there since the 30′s, I would have expected a cute Craftsman-style bungalow.

  163. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#155): Re: the audio samples. I think that’s my guy. At least, I sort of hope there’s not more than one guy doing that kind of stuff.

    (My own music, ukulele and penny whistle primarily, is deeply influenced by Captain Beefheart and the Captain and Tennille. I think because of my naval career.)

    Funny, I was playing the samples in my office, and my wife came running upstairs, worried that I had gone bonkers and was torturing the cats.

    I’m not as young as I used to be; I don’t think I’ll have the time to cultivate the frame of mind to truly appreciate Mr. Zorn. But thanks for finding him for me! The question had been bugging me for a long time.

  164. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#158): Or the lack there of.

  165. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53): I like the way the eyes blink when you type something in the search field.

  166. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#159): …maybe this chick is the never-before-mentioned offspring of Jr. and the original MM?
    Look up “Honeymoon Tracy.”

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#160): Brooke exhibits a rare dose of restraint in having Edda say “yes” instead of “Yes! Yes! Oh my God, yes!”

    This reminds me of a Usenet post I ran into once. It was in response to some guy whose name I don’t remember — We’ll call him Bob Goss — who alleged that every female orgasm is faked. A woman wrote back to clarify that there are actually four types of orgasm, and gave a guide to them:

    1. Good orgasm: “Oh, yes! Oh, Yes! Oh, YES! YES! YES!!”
    2. Bad orgasm: “Oh, no! Oh, No! Oh, NO! NO! NO!!”
    3. Religious orgasm: “Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Oh, JESUS GOD CHRIST!!”
    4. Fake orgasm: “Oh, Bob! Oh, Robert! Oh, ROBERT LOUIS GOSS!!”

  167. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Love Is-Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow.

    Wizard of Id-Nothing like sitting around having a hissy fit over how people have more money than you instead of actually going out robbing those people of their money and then redistributing it. So many wasted nights on my part.

    FC-Dolly are done sexually experimenting with your brothers? Don’t you have some friends that you could do that with?

  168. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    GT – I’m layin even odds that our new Irish lad will stroll by football practice and idly kick a 65 yard field goal straight thru the uprights, opening up another “fish out of water” storyline as he joins the squad. Now, in most modern USA high schools there are boys soccer teams and Terry would have a place to use his skills, but not in Milord, where there is not a Mudlark team that isn’t ruled by Coach or Coachette Thorp.

  169. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#163): Scud, sounds like you could be an Andrew Bird fan. Am I right?

  170. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Margo is hoping that they don’t naked oil wrestle in there. It is so difficult to get oil out of things.

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#168): Oh they do have a soccer team. Remember the story arc a while back with the autistic kid? The football team didn’t have a good kicker, and Coach Thorp asked to borrow one from the soccer team, but they couldn’t spare one, or none of the soccer players wanted to play football and get brain damage, or something. But it turns out that the autistic kid was a talented kicker, so everything was groovy.

    // I’m a little ashamed I remember that.

  172. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#166): I would like to be friends with that woman. Or better: She belongs on this site.

  173. Red Greenback
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

  174. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#171): Right, the soccer team couldn’t spare a player, since they were in contention for the conference championship. It is apparently also the only Milford team that is not coached by a Thorp. But I repeat myself.

  175. Dr. Weird
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#159):

    I’m not sure exactly how time progresses in Dick Tracy…..Junior is all growed up, but Dick never ages….maybe this chick is the never-before-mentioned offspring of Jr. and the original MM?

    Honey Moon Tracy showed up in the strip not long after the current creative staff came on. She was plucky and helped out on a case, so getting into vigilantism isn’t out of the question for her.

    And to address the time question, not only has Junior grown up, but Dick and Tess had a baby on their own after that, who has ALSO grown up.

  176. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#171): I do remember that. Sooooo….what’s gonna be the deal with our Irish Rover? Hooliganism in the stands vs Valley Tech? Joining the cheer leading squad to teach Riverdance routines?

  177. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#172): Which woman is that?
    The one with the:
    1. Good orgasm: “Oh, yes! Oh, Yes! Oh, YES! YES! YES!!”
    2. Bad orgasm: “Oh, no! Oh, No! Oh, NO! NO! NO!!”
    3. Religious orgasm: “Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Oh, JESUS GOD CHRIST!!”
    4. Fake orgasm: “Oh, Bob! Oh, Robert! Oh, ROBERT LOUIS GOSS!!”

  178. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#172): Yes, absolutely. She has the Curmudgeon nature, no question about it.

  179. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#176): He will watch the players go through a drill in their pads, say “In Irish football, we run with the ball without all that padding,” and then demonstrate how it’s done by picking up the ball and running through the line for a touchdown. That will set up a rivalry between the new kid and his neighbor for the position of starting running back. How this rivalry will involve the geeky kid who has a crush on the popular girl is not at all interesting clear.

  180. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#169): I’m a great fan of H.E. Bird, the 19thC English chess master. I think I heard Andrew Bird with the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

  181. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#173): Who could not admire the founder of the Blah! Party?

  182. True Fable
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    I’ll have to dust off my tux, gas up my rolling barge of a Gran Marquise I call “Moby Dick” and mythically head up to New England and be a wedding crasher at the Chinless Nuptials. Who’s with me?

    We’ll drive across country picking up ‘Mudgeons as we go and gather in the supplies we will need to make it a truly memorable comic strip wedding. Considering that it will be a crowd of anti-intellectual nabobs who will crash The Most Perfect And Allegedly Hilarious Comic Strip Wedding Ever, we will of course need to bring along a multi-volume thesaurus to converse with the high-tone locals, and gift wrap a box of latex gloves so Edda and Amos can practice safe sex.

    And just grins I’ll tie Mike Patterson from For Better or For Worse to the car grill so I won’t get any scratches when we ram through the gates at 9 Chickweed Lane.

  183. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#172): Yes. Without question. I don’t know who she is, but she delivered a surgical strike of admirable precision and economy.

  184. Geoduck
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I would be mildly surprised if Brooke goes through with it, and actually has them get married.

  185. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#166): Bad orgasm? DOES NOT COMPUTE!
    Good burn on the Bob guy though.

  186. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#182): I got dibs on the window!

  187. Calico
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    If Dawn finally is arm-twisted into volunteering at the hospital, what if her first patient is Dave?
    Back to square one, Wilbur.

  188. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180): That’s the same Andrew Bird. He plays violin, sometimes like a uke, and whistles. His new album is called Break It Yourself, and it’s terrific.

  189. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#179): By George, I think he’s got it!

  190. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#182): I am SO with you! Yes! And look what I’ll be wearing! This dress just SPOKE to me, y’know?

    http://www.uglydress.com/onebigbow.html

  191. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#177): All of the above: the one who thought of that great post!

    @True Fable (#182): I’m in! I’ll bring the bourbon. (And yes, I know, the short ‘mudges have to sit on the hump; I’m used to it.)

  192. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#182): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#191): I’ll add a bottle of Ardbeg to our travel stash. Yay!

  193. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#190): I’ll go with this one—just to, you know, class up the place:

    http://www.uglydress.com/greencorquee.html

  194. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#193): Can I wear my Pluggers “under the belly” pants with suspenders? I pretty myself up with my 40 year old corduroy sport coat with patches on the elbows.

  195. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#153): Hard to say. I don’t think they’ve ever appeared in the strip, even when Amos and Edda were Catholic schoolkids.

    //Whoever was in charge of compiling the TV Tropes page for 9CL is hilariously savage toward the strip. (It also includes a link to the infamous under-the-table-sex-scene and McE’s huffy response.)

  196. Calico
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    The “Married in a Whorehouse” dress made me laugh – looks like 1873 Midwest.

  197. Vince M
    September 8th, 2012 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): I’ll put in a plug here for an AM station, WMLB 1690. Pretty limited range, but an interesting eclectic mix. And hey, they stream online too!
    http://1690wmlb.com/

  198. Bob Goss
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#166) said: “4. Fake orgasm: “Oh, Bob! Oh, Robert! Oh, ROBERT LOUIS GOSS!!”

    Well, it felt good to me!

  199. This Guy
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#109): “Just old and trite”? That is by far the most charitable thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about Reply All. That should be the blurb on the front cover of her first collection.

  200. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL-Excuse me but the audience paid good money to see a ballet could you folks kindly take your actions off stage. There’s never a colonel around when you need one.

  201. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    9CL-Meanwhile in the audience. “Gee, Loretta and I thought the ballet was going to be boring,” Leroy Lockhorn remarks to his wife in anticipation of the two people on stage start having sex.

  202. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#187): If Dawn finally is arm-twisted into volunteering at the hospital, what if her first patient is Dave?

    Hmm… consider the possibilities – sponge-bath, morphine overdose, defibrillator accident…

  203. The Ridger
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): “Difficult do you call it, Sir?” replied the Doctor; “I wish it were impossible.” My mother once said, of an orchestra playing some piece of modern stuff, “You can tell they’re playing it very well; what you can’t tell is why they’re bothering.”

  204. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

  205. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#155): John Zorn has a very long Wikipedia article. Evidently he’s done stuff that would interest more than the John Cage and Ornette Coleman crowd, including an album of Ennio Morricone covers, praised by Ennio Morricone himself!

  206. odinthor
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Sigh… Dave always said, “Oh, Bob! Oh, Robert! Oh, ROBERT LOUIS GOSS!!”

  207. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#193): Oh yes. Definitely. And I think we should take photos of ourselves standing next to each other, just to see if our dress combo can break the camera.

  208. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    About 18 months or so ago, Spiderman started a storyline where MJ was in a play and this dude, Hardy Laurel, made a mess of things. Anyone know how that turned out? I’m just, you know, curious.

  209. Ukulele Ike
    September 8th, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#200): “There’s never a colonel around when you need one.”

    Colonel Angus may be in the offing. You never know with these two.

  210. Peanut Gallery
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#205): Yes, and Zorn’s made a ridiculously huge number of records, so if the album you’re looking for is his, it might be a challenge to identify the specific one!

    I have to admit I could take or leave his own playing, but he got my attention through his collaborations and concept projects. Also, he claimed Carl Stalling as a big influence and wrote some of the liner notes for The Carl Stalling Project. Cartoon music! Cartoons are like comic strips! I’m almost not off-topic!

    I have an anecdote connected with Zorn’s 1983 album Locus Solus. Zorn, being an avant-garde improviser, was naturally excited by the development of turntable “scratching” techniques in hip-hop music. He persuaded one of its practitioners, Whiz Kid, to do some recordings with him. Somewhere I read an interview with Whiz Kid, in which he described the experience more or less this way (huge paraphrasing from memory here):

    This nerdy white sax player wanted me to play on his record. I wasn’t into his music, but he just kept bugging me, so finally I agreed and went into the studio. He’s doing crazy things like blowing a clarinet into a bowl of water. So I just started doing all this really stupid stuff — you know, cranking the record backwards, or just spinning it and then letting it go so it slows down like “BUUUUUuuuuu…” Really dumb junk. And he’s going, “Yeah, yeah, that’s great, I like!”

    Thing is, even though Whiz Kid claimed to be screwing around, it still sounded pretty good (and he wasn’t really only doing the stupid stuff). I think he may have been trying to downplay his participation in “egghead music” so as not to damage his street cred.

  211. UncleJeff
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    While watching a football game today, I learned that TBS is now running a show called “Tyler Perry’s For Better Or For Worse.”
    I wonder if Lynn knows about that.
    Maybe they are collaborating in hopes that two unfunny people could accidentally produce a funny show.

  212. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#211): That would be a heluva competition: most openly reviled: FOOB strips or Medea movies?

  213. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    While we’re talking about esoteric music, and since I just found this and want to share it with somebody: Sega Genesis covers of progressive rock/electronica songs!

    Genesis – The Battle of Epping Forest
    Jean Michel Jarre – Fourth Rendez-Vous
    Jean Michel Jarre – Équinoxe Part 1
    Jean Michel Jarre – Équinoxe Part 5
    Yes – Machine Messiah

    Mmm, chiptune…

  214. pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Late to the party, as usual.

    Arlo and Janis: Yeah, snap wedding! I’m a fan of weddings that don’t…drag…on…for…months…and…

    Cul de Sac: Petey, why don’t you let Tom Waits answer that question?

    Dick Tracy: …Mmmmoon Maiden!

    Herman: Check on Edda, Ma’am. Check on Edda.

    Nancy: That bear is causing me to reconsider my faith in God.

    Mark Trail: I think “Let’s get out of here! We can come back and kill some bears later” is going to be my new “‘Let’s go commit some crimes!’ ‘Yeah! Let’s go order sushi and not pay for it!’”

    Mary Worth: Oh, fergawdsake Mary. If you’re so desperate to have Dawn where you can ogle her in a tight candystripper outfit mentor her, just tell her “Dave will be there!” This does require kneecapping Dave, but what’s a little extra work to the professional meddler?

    Moose and Molly & Piranha Club: Women talk on the phone a lot, amirite?

    Popeye: Somehow, I’ve managed to go 44 years – even through the rolling existential crisis that was the live-action Popeye movie – without seeing Olive Oyl’s feet. Well, I’ll be in the bathroom with a little molten boron if anybody needs me.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: It’s going to take a whole lot more wine than that to make June sexually appealing to you, Rex. Just close your eyes, lean back, relax, and think of the lab equipment.

    And now that I’ve got all that off my chest, I’ll looking for my molten boron doing some dishes.

  215. Steve
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    AC9&SM(2): Spider-Man has suffered enough injury and humiliation. It’s time for him to emulate the most heroic spider in all literature. He needs to create a web that spells out the words “SOME CLOWN”.

  216. Baka Gaijin
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Steve (#215): Ha ha! Great comment.

  217. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe (#214): I’m not the only person here who completely enjoys the Popeye movie, in a tongue-in-cheeky sort of way, am I?

  218. pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe
    September 8th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#217): Commodore, there’s no easy way to tell you this…that movie was a complete freakshow, weirder-though-not-worse than Howard the Duck.

  219. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe (#218): Well, yeah, but I’m pretty sure it was intentional…I mean, it basically does play exactly like a Popeye cartoon with some sort of live-action filter over it. Well, and a slightly (and probably unnecessarily) more elaborate plot.

  220. Chaze126
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#217): I enjoyed the Popeye movie mostly because I am a Robert Altman fan, which puts me in a very distinct minority, I know. This is the only movie where I find Robin Williams even remotely palatable. The casting of Shelly Duval as Olive Oyl and Paul L Smith as Bluto was inspired. I think Altman used The Thimble Theater era Popeye, with which most viewers were not familiar, as his inspiration. Anyway, I got a kick out of it and still do.

  221. seismic-2
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#219): For the amount of money that Altman spent on that movie, he could have made a whole bunch of truly memorable Popeye cartoons.

  222. Momma the Incontinent Bitch
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Anyone seen a bathroom?

  223. pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#221): I just remember being distracted by the intrusive thought: “What drugs, and how much of them, do you need to be on to make that scene?”

  224. Chaze126
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#221): Yeah, but Altman’s Popeyes cartoons would have been very existential. Also, how can you make cartoon characters improvise?

  225. pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe (#223): Adding, at least Altman had a (semi-) coherent artistic vision, even if possibly coke-addled. I don’t know what the hell explains Howard the Duck. It’s like the dialog was dubbed in from some language that no longer exists and never did…

  226. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Altman, I am probably one of a hundred people who actually enjoyed “Nashville.”

  227. Liam
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#209):

    I was thinking of the colonel Graham Chapman would play in Monty Python. The guy would show up and end the skit right there and then.

  228. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, no friend of the apostrophe (#225): I can remember my drug addled college days of the early 70′s when Betty Boop and old Popeye cartoons were very popular because watching them was almost like being on drugs. Very psychedelic stuff.

  229. Red Greenback
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Brewster McCloud FTW!

  230. Buck Ripsnort
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#59): Soooo not googling that.

  231. Sisi
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    FC: Precocious Dolly sneaked into a showing of “The Help” for the pie scene. Thelma realizes this and smiles. Well done, Grasshopper!

    A3G: Martha Nussbaum on the youthful partner in ancient Greek love

    a beautiful creature without pressing needs of his own. He is aware of his attractiveness, but self-absorbed in his relationship with those who desire him. He will smile sweetly at the admiring lover; he will show appreciation for the other’s friendship, advice, and assistance. He will allow the lover to greet him by touching, affectionately, his genitals and his face, while he looks, himself, demurely at the ground. … The inner experience of an erômenos would be characterized, we may imagine, by a feeling of proud self-sufficiency. Though the object of importunate solicitation, he is himself not in need of anything beyond himself. He is unwilling to let himself be explored by the other’s needy curiosity, and he has, himself, little curiosity about the other. He is something like a god, or the statue of a god.

    Perfect!

    FW: Batiuk’s world-view may be founded on Gnosticism, wherein the goal of the initiates is to escape the regrettable material world, which was created not by the Wise, Compassionate and All-Knowing God, but by a demiurge who was (theologians differ) incompetent, careless, deranged or evil.

    I paid for that degree in Classics, and by the arrows of Artemis, I’ve going to use it.

  232. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#229): Only Robert Altman would cast Bud Cort in a movie.

  233. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sisi (#231): Brooke, we knew you’d be joining us sooner or later.

  234. Zla'od
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo remembers that in ancient Greece, the ideal romantic relationship was between a mature man and a beardless youth.

  235. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#217): I thought the POPEYE movie was a flawed masterpiece. It didn’t end, exactly, but the setup and the middle (with the exception of a couple of songs that slowed everything to a crawl — much as I love Harry Nilsson) were just dynamite. The special effects, in which category I include Robin Williams, were funny. The script was a real masterpiece, right in the Thimble Theatre groove. I was surprised to find that Jules Feiffer basically had to go read the reprints before he wrote it, because he wasn’t that familiar with the strip. The lines were the same kind of eccentric cliche-sounding things nobody had ever said before — “Come in before you catch your death of mud.” — that Larry Gelbart penned so memorably in MOVIE MOVIE. The sets were wonderfully dismal and off-kilter. The townspeople were a freakshow — marvelous casting. Even the product labels contributed to the atmosphere. Like PEE-WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE (especially its first half hour), it created a little world all its own that seemed like you could step right into it. Altman really redeemed himself for the hideous botch he made of Philip Marlowe with this one. And c’mon, it had Ray Bleeding Walston, one of mah ideels!

  236. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#235): Ray Walston…oh yes…Judge Bone. Well, that and My Favorite Martian.

    By the way, I thought Paul Dooley was a great Wimpie.

  237. tallyHO
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    [and the crowd goes, “Whew!”]

    @tallyHO (previously on MTOoOUMBV#271):

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Part 1/3 of The Final Chapter

    O’ the four original rescooers, thar was only three of us left. Ol’ Doc done conked hisself out with his Knockulars and we jus’ continued wifout ‘im. We wuz runnin’ about the Honored, Sacred Mounds hunting fo’ a puppet boy.

    Now, Ah ain’t no Om-Knee-Potent Nare Eater. Them thar Acky-Demics pobbly think o’ me as being an Untrussworthy One.

    A yup! They’s got me nailed like a nail thas stuck to chicken’s feet on a fence post. GUILTY, Y’Onner! Throw the book at me cuz I can’t read none! Hyuck!

    I swears by all that is Whiskey, this entire story is The Unvarnished Troof!

    As we Three kept a runnin’, I gots the sneaking’ suspicion we might be lost. That seems so highly unlikely.

    You’d think Mark Trail would know where we wuz! Not cuz he lives here, nope. Not cuz he took ta swingin’ in the treetops either. He should know war we is cuz his name is MARK. TRAIL. How can a man wif that name get lost?

    We kept on a runnin’.

  238. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#236): Walston was also Applegate in Damn Yankees. The definitive Devil. And Luther Billis in South Pacific.

    Dooley was great, too.

  239. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#238): And you can’t forget his legendary scenes with Sean Penn as Mr Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

  240. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2012 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#217):

    Re: Popeye movie –

    Hated Robin Williams — stop mumbling! But Shelly Duvall was born to play Olive Oyl.

  241. Uncle Lumpy
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    And I’m speaking as a dyed-in-the-wool McCabe and Mrs. Miller fan.

  242. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#241): Love it too, but it has its Altman quirks. I can’t recall a major movie with such a muddled soundtrack. You have to listen really hard. But it’s worth it. A wonderful film

  243. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#220), @Uncle Lumpy (#240): I agree, Duvall absolutely nailed the part, and they didn’t have to do a thing besides style her hair and stick her in a comical dress. I liked Robin Williams, too – it’s true that it’s a bit harder to make out the muttering than it really ought to be, but if you can get past that, I think he’s very nearly as good in his role as Duvall is in hers. The dialogue (and monologue) is just inspired (and part of the reason I don’t mind Williams’s muttering is because it makes half of the screenplay into a trove of hidden gems that you unearth on a subsequent watching.)

    Flawed, I’ll admit, but I don’t think it deserves half the bad rap it usually gets.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#235): I haven’t seen Ray Walston in nearly enough stuff, but growing up I loved him as Matt the doorman in ABC’s adaptations of Beverly Cleary’s The Mouse and the Motorcycle series. Hearing that he played the Devil…well, that’s all the more reason for me to track down Damn Yankees, which I’ve been meaning to watch ever since seeing the Muppets do “Two Lost Souls.”

  244. commodorejohn
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#236): It took me a long time to get what the hell was up with Wimpy, because most of my familiarity with Popeye came from the Fleischer Technicolor shorts, where he’s absent or barely present. Once I’d started reading the comic strip and gotten something of a feel for the character, I finally kinda figured out what his deal was in the movie. Yeah, I think Doolie did a pretty fine job.

  245. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#243): I think Ray Walston had the role of his career as Judge Bone on Picket Fences. Every moral/legal/ethical issue in Rome, WI came before him for a decision. His internal debates were inspiring while his external debates with Douglas Wambaugh (Fyvush Finkel) were hilarious. He became the true center of the show.

  246. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#239): I saw that scene on YouTube the other day. Well, I suppose there was more than just one scene, but I don’t know how much of the movie I’ve ever watched. Walston was solid, though.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#240): Robin Williams’s mumbling was a tribute to Jack Mercer’s ad libs in the Fleischer cartoons. I think this was his best movie, and he was a credit to his part. His quick improv skills gave Swee’pea his best line, where he’s just found the infink, and young Wesley whatever his name was said something that sounded like ‘baby,’ and Williams didn’t break stride: “Yeah, yer a baby; it sez here.” And some of the best stuff in the movie came right out of the comic, like how sentimental Popeye was over the framed representation of his dad, and it turns out to be a piece of paper with the words “Me Poppa” on it.

    @commodorejohn (#243): One reason I was so pleased to get the part of Applegate in a 70s production of Damn Yankees was that I got to follow in Walston’s cloven hoofsteps. Doing “The Good Old Days” was a real rush. It felt just like I was holding the audience in my hand.

    “Two Lost Souls”! “But we ain’t fussin’ cuz we got us’n!” Such a cornball line. My favorite cornball number, though, was “Who’s Got the Pain (When They Do the Mambo)?” I got a rare compliment from Dad with that show, too, for keeping the focus on Lola when she was singing one of her numbers.

  247. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#240): But Shelly Duvall was born to play Olive Oyl.

    Imagine telling a young actress that.

  248. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#247): On one of those reality shows (Storage Wars, maybe?) they found Duvall’s Olive Oyl shoes in a storage facility. Can you imagine that?

  249. Poteet
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#243): Just thinking about DAMN YANKEES makes me want to see it again.

  250. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#246): Muff, it’s that classic under-the-breath Mercer Popeye speaking style that makes the movie and cartoons such classics.

    // it’s also why I cannot look at the current Spidey circus fiasco without thinking “ellyfink.”

  251. Chaze
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): “Whatever Poteet wants….Poteet gets….”

  252. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 8th, 2012 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#207): You know, I imagine that if we could persuade some of our male ‘mudges to get in full Ugly-Dress Drag, we probably could succeed at that.

  253. name
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    I don’t know how many of you read The Globe and Mail (Canada’s national newspaper), but until today it had two unique comics that were drawn just for it, rather than coming from a syndicate. Comics strips started out being produced for single newspaper, the Yellow Kid etc., but these strips, Fischer and Back Bench, may have been among the last comic strip in North America drawn exclusively for one paper.

    Anyway, I really liked both of these comics, and I’m sad to see them go. You can read a blog post about this from the creator of Fischer here, and read the last strip, as well as an archive of strips going back a decade.

  254. Der Kömmëntätör für das Schnärk, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @DoctorNick (#122):

    Hi Dr Nick!

  255. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): If you do get to see it, it’s interesting to watch it in light of what I decided through rehearsals: it’s almost explicitly anti-intellectual. The good characters have “heart” (“Oh, it’s fine to be a genius, of course / But put that old horse before the cart…”) And who is the intellectual that actually talks about psychology? You guessed it: the Devil.

    Our director was adamantly against any ad-libbing, but Jim B., who played Smokey, changed the line, “So there we were, underneath a tree…” to “So there we were, underneath of a tree…” and that made it twice as funny for me. (Smokey wasn’t oo-tay ight-bray. But he had heart, you know.)

  256. Droopy Says
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: If only Spiderman would read Slylock Fox! He’d learn how to spot the six diferences between Clown-9 and the other clowns:
    .
    1: Clown-9 is moves around.
    .
    2: Clown-9′s face is chrome yellow, not pastel purple.
    .
    3: Clown-9′s costume is garishly colored, not pastel purple.
    .
    4: Clown-9 talks.
    .
    5: Clown-9 is having a good time.
    .
    6: Clown-9 isn’t trying to ignore Spiderman’s presence.
    .
    And I can’t wait to see Spiderman take a fall. If anyone can bungle standing on the ground, it’s Peter Parker.
    .
    FU, W: Shouldn’t the coach be down there with his players? Or did he just assume they’d bungle it and decide he should sit where he could best mock them?
    .
    Mock Trail: ” . . . and so, Rusty, we’ve trained a dog to take you fishing!”
    .
    Pluggers: Um, Brookins? Your EMT team is old, overweight and exhausted from working eighty hours per week. If there’s an accident the victims might have to rescue them.
    .
    Family Circus: I see a DC-3, a V-2, a boomerang, a balsa glider with Spitfire wings and RAF roundels, and a suction-cup arrow. Mum’s the word, Bil! Sell those antiques to a collector and use the money to abscond to Escondido.

  257. tallyHO
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (previously on MTOoOUMBV#237):

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Part 2/3 of The Final Chapter

    SUDDENLY….

    Arf! Arf!

    The soun’ of a dog barkin’ in the not too distance footure. We mighta been closer to finding Young Rusty Puppet. That bark was WAY too soft ta be one o’ those Giant Forest Critters that Doc’s been breedin’ wif his Who-DNA-Like Splicin’ ‘Em Up o’ genes.

    Thooooooo. I s’pose thars a possum-ability it’s one o’ them Rogue Mark Trail Clones I done heard ‘bout. I heard mos o’ dem is Barkin’ Mad. We ran towards the sound anyways.

    We darted around and climbed up and down them Mounds like we had consigned ourseffs ta complete a maze while trying ta out run The Reverend Almond Joy and his nutty collection plate!

    As we rounded a corner o’ one o’ dem mounds, we spotted some fellers up yonder. They wuz tiny by the nekkid eye. But, by golly, they’d look lifesized with the hep o’ my Bi-Knockers!

    Folks, it should be said, I ain’t no religimous man. Whut I am is a gamblin’ man. Thas why I always bet on muhself when the Hell Hounds are chasin’ me. Muh Whiskey Demons….them’s anudder story altogether. Theys mo’ like dance partners than they is bein’ adversurreal. We shuck and we jive. We jive and we shuck. Soon we’d get tired. Next, I pass out, down like a duck.

    Mah Lucky Gut was tellin’ me ta Look Further. So I peered through my Bi-Knockers to make muh eyes get a bigger. Thar they is, two lowdown Sheep Killers! And, one lil, red-haided whatchamacallit. It was bound wif rope like pasgetti stranglin’ a fork.

    So, Race, Mark and me wuz crouched on the toppo a mound and a peerin’ down on the three fellers, who was a fiddlin’ wif the knot about boy. Looks like we done found Rusty Puppet an’ he didn’t run away, he’s wuzza puppetnapped!

    Thas when that Shaggy Tarzan said, I have a plan!

    (Ta be Conk Cluded!–Battrees Not Included!)

  258. Droopy Says
    September 9th, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    Jugs Parker: It all makes sense now? Well, yes, except for the part where Avery kept it all secret, and kept hitting on a woman he suspected of being a dangerous felon, and wants to make her a business partner, and took pictures on the remote possibility that some day he might be demoted to set-decorator on the next Cheech and Chong movie, and how he learned to appraise a pot-farmer’s agricultural skills at a single glance, and why he isn’t saying “Let’s get out now, while we’re still alive.” Other than that, Avery is just full of sense.

  259. Book O'Job
    September 9th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#76): The biggest difference between the God of the Bible and Batiuk is that Batiuk is not a loving God.

    No, their biggest difference is running sores versus tumors.

  260. tallyHO
    September 9th, 2012 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (previously on MTOoOUMBV#257):

    [did this last “chapter" over several days. at some point earlier in the week, I realized Ishmael Reed’s writings were something to keep in mind. though, there is no grand satire in any of this, just parody, I guess. this is the last time I do this.

    it be done.

    To subsequent commenters and comment readers, sorry for the long scrolling. But, I limited this to just three parts. The last one is just loooooooooong! There’s no want to kill the thread either. So, I hope it does not. G’night!]

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, The Final(!) Chapter

    Whippin’ out muh Bi-Knockers, I took a gander ta see if’n Rusty’s goose wuz cooked.

    The perspective in here Lost Forest must be off and my bein’ intoximafied probably wuzn’t makin’ it any easier ta see straight and ta figger out the distance betwixt here and there. Large critters and plants made the small stuff teensy.

    The fellers wuz next to a lake. I handed the Bi-Knockers to Mark so he could see.

    Mark muttered, Lake Tittyhooha.

    Race wuz a punchin’ the wind out of the air but he stopped to titter. Then he resumed landing devastin’ blows at the blowin’ breeze.

    The two sheep killers stood on either side of Rusty, who wuz bound up in a cocoon of rope. He looked about as worried as you’d expect. His eyes were wide open and tears dappled his rosy cheeks like the early mornin’ mountain dew dapples mine when I a pass out in the front yard.

    Mark gave me the signal. I reared back muh noggin and belted out a bird song:

    Peekaboo Peekaboo Tweet Tweet!

    The ‘nappers jumped, visibly started. One of the men said, That’s no bird I’ve ever heard!
    Redhead Sheep Killer replied, That’s no bird. He reached for his rifle. I’ve heard it before. He looked around tryin’ to see whar the sound came from. The last time I heard that sound wuz while I wuz on vacation deep in the Ozarks,.

    Peekaboo Peekaboo Tweet Tweet!

    The other guy looked at him as if whut he was hearing sounded familiar. Let’s not worry ’bout it and just cast this kid into the water! They lifted Rusty up and tossed him into Lake Tittyhooha.

    Peekaboo Peekaboo Tweet Tweet!

    Now, the thing about that lake it is all deep. Legend has it a ginormous meteor plopped down and impacted Lost Forest leaving a giant crater. This wuz during the worst rainstorm ever. The strange thing is the meteor bounced back up and rolled down the hill towards what is now known as Count Weirdly’s Nightmare Valley, formerly known as East Eden; a magical land where there wua only peace and man and critter co-exist as vegamatarians; that all a changed Post-Meteor. The giant, glowing space rock sunk into the giant lake there, rising the waters something fierce and giving off radiation that has affected all the critters that live there this day.

    Rope-bound Rusty splashed into the lake and the kidnappers turned from him and proceeded to stalk in our direction, guns at the ready.

    Peekaboo Peekaboo Tweet Tweet!

    Redhead Sheep Killer explained his familiarity wif that sound. When I wuz on vacation, that wuz the sound a Hillbilly made before he did something unspeakable which ruined my manly outdoor frolicking. I refuse to say what they did to us. Let’s just say there’s a reason I hate sheep with big horns and why guttin’ bears makes sense to me. We were overpowered and just submitted to the situation as long as they promised to not sell postcards based on the photos they took documenting the event.

    At that point, I thought muh fake bird call inspired the real birds assembled there and they started singing a fast-paced song that sounded kind of funny. However, Doc would later tell me that was the Lost Forest Giant Mockingbird Choir that sings “Yackity Sax” everyday at 4 O’Clock.

    That’s when Race popped up from behind a bush and started making the Fists of Justice look like a system that was corrupted. Race was like a well-oiled, ass kicking machine. The Sheep Killers didn’t know whut wuz a hittin’ ‘em.

    Meanwhile, Mark dove into the lake to rescue Rusty. Not surprisingly, he had to punch out a giant alley gator and hammer throw a giant otter first. Then he sunk under and shortly thereafter emerged carrying the rope bound….waitasecond! He had caught himself a giant, man-sized mackerel wrapped in rope! The fish looked as shocked as Mark looked. But, they both quickly kissed each utter on the lips. And, Mark scurried back into the water.

    Race kept a wailin’ and he seemed ta be keepin’ time wif the music.

    I realize there wuz a couple of small, obviously malmourished, beavers who wuz dancin’ on idder side o’ me. I decided to put down muh jug and join ‘em in a little jig.

    Once in a while during this melee, Race and the Sheep Killers would stop their fighting and do a little do-see-do. Swingin’ each other to and fro. Shoot howdy, they wuz a going so much faster than this tale or any comicky strip one I ever done seen.

    Mark reemerged from the Lake movin’ like one o’ dem ol black n white moovies. This time with a flirty Mermaid, whom his kissed and returned to the waters.

    Race kept a punchin’ and a grinnin’. I kept a dancin’ wif muh beavers, once in a while stoopin’ o’er ta pat a lil dalmation’s freckled haid.

    Finally! On the third try, Mark marched outta the water and he was a holdin’ soakin’ wet Rusty. After he untied him, he then used the rope to tie up the Killers.
    Mark didn’t need to do no mouf-ta-mouf. Which woulda been bizarre to see a man tryin’ ta resuscitate a ventriloquist dummy, after kissin’ a fish and a mermaid.

    Back at the Trail household, we were treated to almost endless stacks of Cherry Pancakes. They wuz tasty. Race ate like a manman on mission. Mark didn’t seemed to care for ‘em much; he spit out the cherries. Doc sat there usin’ his knockular to examine the flapjacks. The dogs both left saying they wuz tired of this scatological nonsense. Cherry looked jus’ happy ta have a house full o’ full bellied, fellers. And, Rusty…after spendin’ time submerged in that radioactif water, he now has three eyes. The scary one is right smack dab in his far haid. Spooky!

    Rusty said, Thanks again, Mark! You finally went fishing with me!

    We all laughed so hard we cried (’specially cuz, o’ those tears streaming down Rusty’s far haid). SpooOOOky!
    Me I laffed the hardest cuz that little puppet was a talkin’ on its own! No strings attached!

    Hyuck.
    The end.

  261. Da Coconino Kid
    September 9th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#252):

    I think this should do the trick

  262. Jason1981
    September 9th, 2012 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    Curtis: “Maaaa! Curtis is practicing his lame-ass excuse for not having his homework for NO GOOD REASON!”

    “Curtis, if you have nothing better to do than think up lame excuses for not having homework, you can go scrub out the toilet with your tongue!”

  263. Comcis Fan
    September 9th, 2012 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    MW: But then Dawn looked out over the water, at the sailboats with no people in them and the big stage-prop sunset, and realized there was no “Santa Royale,” no Italian coast, no cruise-ship disaster — that in reality, “Mary” was the executive producer, “Wilbur” the director, that, indeed, she had lived her entire life on the set of “The Truman Show.”

  264. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 9th, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#252): I would still prefer to wear one of those Ballard Street Gentlemen’s Aeronautical Society outfits.

  265. Patrick
    September 9th, 2012 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    Wiz: Ha ha, it’s funny because it’s referring to a recently started social movement that protests social inequality. Nothing like topical humor to show your stale old newspaper comic is keeping up with the times! Oh, wait.

  266. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 9th, 2012 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    MW: “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”

    Another semi-bogus quote. The full quote, from Kierkegard’s Journals, “It is quite true what philosophy says; that life must be understood backwards. But then one forgets the other principle: that it must be lived forwards. Which principle, the more one thinks it through, ends exactly with the thought that temporal life can never properly be understood precisely because I can at no instant find complete rest in which to adopt a position: backwards.”

    Interesting, confusing, almost a Zeno’s paradox. However, Moy’s abbreviated quotation in merely a platitude. We may be sure that Moy hasn’t the least notion of Kierkegaard’s life and work, or she wouldn’t be quoting the gloomy Dane.

  267. Dale
    September 9th, 2012 at 3:55 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#190):

    If the bow(?) part of that thing were pockets for an order pad and pencils, you’d be a big hit working at the diner.

  268. Baka Gaijin
    September 9th, 2012 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    Today’s Spiderman is amongst my worst nightmares. Surrounded by clowns and Spidey is my only hope. AAAAAHHH! [QLUNQ!]

  269. Baka Gaijin
    September 9th, 2012 at 4:35 am [Reply]

    Let me fix that for you, Brookins: You’re a plugger if you spend more time in the back of an ambulance than working at your regular job.

    The helmet-headed Dawn is looking wistfully at the boats, wondering why Fate didn’t finish her off in Italy.

    I’ll have whatever the teacher in the Dennis the Menace throwaway panels is having. She is totally tweaked.

  270. Droopy Says
    September 9th, 2012 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#268): Look at it on the bright side: Spiderman’s presence is so mind-numbing that most of the clowns can only stand there in a purple haze. They may not react at all when the webbing on Babar disintegrates and the elephant resumes its berserk running. One order of grape toe-jam, coming up!

  271. Baka Gaijin
    September 9th, 2012 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#270): That’s not really comforting. Purple haze or not, I’d still be surrounded by EVILSCARYCLOWNS!!!!

  272. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 9th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    MW: Did Slylock Fox recently have a “how to draw a sailboat” feature?

  273. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 9th, 2012 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    MW: “We’re all trying. For example, you and I are trying to find meaning in this pitcher of Potato-Ade, while Dawn tries to find meaning by staring directly into the setting sun. No, the girl’s never been too smart.”

    S-M: Since the circus has put all its performers into the ring with a dangerous criminal and no protection—and they’re apparently still performing—I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s Spidey-stumping distraction: a passel of young schoolchildren sent into the circus ring for a lively game of dodgeball.

  274. Liam
    September 9th, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Sorry but the moon for tomorrow night is a fat guy pulling down his pants.

    MW-Doesn’t Dawn go to school outside of Santa Royale where they teach non-Mary Worth ideas and concepts.

    A3G-You also misheard her. Greg is a client and not a friend. Margo keeps her friends and clients separate.

    JP-If Avery told Sam about the pot fields then Sam would want to have a bigger trip.

  275. Illustrator Steve
    September 9th, 2012 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    MT – So… the SHEEP KILLERS are letting Rusty spend Sunday with Mark to talk about dogs. Maybe when Mark returns his mutant kid to the SHEEP KILLERS they will take him fishing while they look for a couple of bears to kill. What a nice pair of kind hearted bad guys those darn old SHEEP KILLERS turned out to be!

  276. Duletide
    September 9th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    “Aristotle, of course you’re Greek too!”

    “Yes, but before I retired, everybody called me ‘Race.’ Race Bannon.”

  277. hogenmogen
    September 9th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

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