The Comics Curmudgeon

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Friday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 3/21/08

Ha ha, Margo fleeing in panic from human affection will always be hilarious to me. Lu Ann is really making a go of it, though — it looks like this is less an attempted hug and more a running tackle. Margo has her deadly pointing finger deployed in defense, ready to take out an eye if that’s what it takes.

For Better Or For Worse, 3/21/08

What’s the best reason to pledge a lifetime commitment to someone, and to have a big, expensive wedding with several attendants? A desire to share your love with your family and friends? Ha ha, no, silly, it’s revenge.

Gil Thorp, 3/21/08

That’s supposed to by Tyler Jay? Say what you will about the previous artist, but he was at least able to conceive of two spit-curled characters in the same strip. On the other hand, maybe Tyler’s new ’do, which appears to be heavily shellacked, is meant to serve as a final defense measure if the urge to club himself again became overwhelming.

Marmaduke, 3/21/08

Marmaduke has recently killed and eaten a leather daddy, a go-go dancer, and an aerobics instructor, and is wearing a few items of their clothing as grisly trophies.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 21, 2008 at 08:26 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, Gil Thorp, Marmaduke. |

374 responses to “Friday quickies”

Weaselboy
March 21st, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

FOOB, panel 4: Any second thoughts, Anthony?
NickM
March 21st, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Is it just me, or is everyone missing the old Gil Thorpe artist a lot?
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

#1 – Panel four tells me that Liz isn’t above castration – emotional, or physical.
Kilroy
March 21st, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

FOOB, panel four: “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!”
Paul_S
March 21st, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

I’m impressed with how well Marmaduke fills out that jacket. My dog-dressing experiments demonstrate the un-human proportions of the canine torso.
jayjaybear
March 21st, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Tyler Jay is the drunken-high conceived love child of Apt. 3-G’s Alan!

FOOB: Revenge is a dish best served in fluorescent lime green taffeta with cartwheel hats…
Pozzo
March 21st, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Poor Luann — her dreams of love are about to go down in crack-fueled flames, and I for one, can’t wait to see it.
Pozzo
March 21st, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

#5 (Paul_S) – Good point. Can you imagine the build on that biker? Would he even be able to properly operate a motorcycle? No wonder Marmaduke was able to catch him.
David Dickerson
March 21st, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

I think what you meant to say is that Marmaduke has eaten a leather daddy, AN ASTRONAUT, and an aerobics instructor. If the boots Marmaduke’s wearing remind you of a go-go dancer, you should hold your bachelor parties further away from the Steelworking District, for all kinds of reasons.
Cathie (not Cathy)
March 21st, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

While watching New Amsterdam the other night, a rape/murder victim is identified as “Mary Worth, like the comic strip.” After my spit-take, my first thought was “That middle-aged nun looks nothing like She that Must Meddle.” Thought two was, “Now, this would make a great flashback” and my last thought was, “Does that make her a Timelord?”
xfoo
March 21st, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

marmaduke serves none other than korrak
Death to the FOOBS!
March 21st, 2008 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Panel 4: St. Michael with a hippie wig and lipstick. Oddly, this is one of the first close-ups I’ve seen of Liz without the Glamor-Vision Ray being activated (to demonstrate her astonishing, surprising, shimmering lovely visage).
Mollie
March 21st, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

GT is definitely not the same without the old artist. But this guy has at least retained the totally baffling quality that distinguishes GT from everything else. That third panel: is that a flashback? Is A-Train still on the phone? Who needs to make the call? What’s going on? What strip am I reading? Who am I?

See? It’s the same as ever when you get right down to it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 21st, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

3/21

Big Dog: Oh, I thought he’d joined the Village People. Josh’s explanation is at least comforting in its familiarity.

FOOB: Actually, Liz’s former bridesmaid schadenfreude is the most interesting thing about her at this point. Which may mean she’s in the laval stages of Mary Worthdom.

MW: Speaking of, Toby’s really got her spin doctor hat on today. It’s like watching Neil Cavuto and an oil CEO.

RMMD: Well, those of you who’ve been wanting Rex to practice some real medicine have your wish. Now he’s up against a killer staph epidemic. You know what this means, don’t you? WE’RE ALL DOOMED!

DtM: Yeah, well, you know what they say about guys with big feet.

Cathy: Attention Cathy Guisewite and Woman’s World : Your waistlines aren’t that interesting, and there are other topics in the world.

Garfield: Didn’t need that, thanks.

GA: Here’s another girl with weird black eyeballs, but frankly I don’t think many people notice. Talk about your big rack attack!

S4th: Ted is eager to talk shop with other toy retailers.

FW: Enjoy your last view of Funky not being a dickwad, Les.

FC: “Hey, maybe if we split this line between word balloon and caption, no one will notice it’s not a joke.”

9CL: Thank you for the fill-in, Ralph Steadman

OBH: And all this time I thought Chutney was a preteen black girl with an unhealthy crush
teegee
March 21st, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

A3G – the way those two arms are drawn, with neither occluding the other, is a little disturbing; it appears almost as a 2-dimensional mosaic. Luckily, Lu Ann’s pinky just bends in front of Margo’s sweater, providing the visual depth cues that make the panel leap out in full-blown 3-D. And I’m not even wearing those cool glasses.
Kiesha
March 21st, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

I’m getting married on October 25 of this year. I swear to God if Liz and Anthony decide on that day, I’m personally riding a moose to Canada and head-butting Lynn Johnston.
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Dear Liz –

I am sorry to inform you that short of filling a lawn and leaf bag full of styrofoam peanuts and using it as a bustle, there is nothing your bridesmaids can do that will make your lumpy ass look petite in comparison.

Sincerely,
OS Allie Cat
Tim O'Shenko
March 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

#6 jayjaybear: Tyler Jay’s perpetually sunny disposition also brings to mind A3G’s Beatnik Jones.

FOOB: As I mention in my thread-killing post of yesterthread, this is the first time in ages that Liz exchanges her typical vapid expression for something resembling genuine emotion. Too bad the cat’s the only one around to see it.
Meanwhile
March 21st, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

In the next installment of the epic Mary Worth flashback, we will learn that the “cupboard” Young Mary has been peering into so wistfully and obsessively is not the kitchen pantry, but an unused guest bedroom linen closet.

The question is, is Young Mary Worth simply an idiot? Or, more likely, is this the place she intends to stash the body of her best friend Cathy when she has finished “helping” her?
Shermy Glamrocker
March 21st, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

MW: And then Old Man McGillicuddy gave me some advice that turned my life around: “If you pose in your birthday suit for my daguerreotype collection, I will pay you money, which you can exchange for food and other goods.”
Cami
March 21st, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Margo’s so afraid of being touched by love because when it happens, the spell will break and she’ll shrink back into her natural animal form: Margo the Mongoose!
Superfecta
March 21st, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

So Liz is so unexcited about her upcoming nuptials that she can’t even call a few friends or family to tell them the news? She just sends an email telling them they might need to wear a hideous dress at some point in the future?

While this fits in perfectly with the world of suck Lynn has created for Liz, it feels even more phony than usual. I wonder if she’ll have to get rid of her cat now, since it has a Native name, and we seem to be weeding out that part of her life. I can at least hope it gives her a few deep scratches.
Buck Ripsnort
March 21st, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

FOOB: Dawn and Shawna-Marie are dudes? Of course! If they’re “dudes” and Blandthony is “hot” and Canada is really south. . . . Why, that means Johnston really IS a genius!

FC: Can we just change the acronym to WTJ– Where’s The Joke?
lynngineering
March 21st, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Josh, I checked your linkback in relation to self-clubbing Tyler, p 997, and couldn’t resist the tantalizing next page link to p998, that is, exactly 1 year ago today.

You’d chosen the FBOFW panel where Liz is attending Michael’s party, with none other than Warren (sort of another self-clubber if you know what I mean) who’s getting all hot and bothered over Weed’s photos.

Ah, the old days of Michael’s coma fantasies, where Liz’s purpose was largely to reinforce how great Michael was, intermittent with having her faced pushed into all sorts of melodrama and responding by running upstairs to her bedroom in her parent’s house, crying herself with her bunny to “sleep”….

Really, though, at least it was evident there was alot of action going on just a year ago, even if just a coma fantasy of Michael…

Now we have Lynn, her issues and focus on that rather than the strip, matched by the somnabulent pacing of a Liz, most-likely on prozac or valium in anticipation for what is required of her in the upcoming role as “wife” of Anthony.

Good times, good times…
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

#13 (Mollie) — Admiral Stockdale? is that you?
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Luann — Ok, so Toni’s a firefighter, and has a nice car (well, so long as the Demon Ex didn’t crash it, that is). That doesn’t mean she’d prefer oil to flowers, dumb-ass.

Brad’s only hope is to follow his mom’s advice in matters of love, not his dad’s. Or Luann’s. Or TJ’s.

Whatever happened to the girl-next-door, the one Brad had a crush on in HS? the one who got him to switch haircuts? I can’t even remember her name, but she was Brad’s first love, and it seems the just disappeared.

I’m still putting money on TJ’s last name being Gale…

GF — I’m loving this series.

PBS — Pure genius.
teenchy
March 21st, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

Foob, panel 4: Can you smell what The Lizardbreath is cooking?
Imaginary
March 21st, 2008 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Marmaduke is also wearing an undershirt and socks fashioned from the aerobics instructor’s skin.
Uncle Lumpy
March 21st, 2008 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan and Sherman’s Lagoon are both launching medical stories this week. Sherman’s, of course, is more credible.

Also: “Finagra®”! But on the other hand: Juuuuuune!
Wisconsinite
March 21st, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

RE: FOOB;

Liz mentions that they’re looking for rings “tomorrow” so I’m guessing this episode takes place on the same night as the “proposal”. Once again, what losers. They’re not spending the night together, or even celebrating over a few drinks? Oooooh – they’re really getting swept up in the moment.

And good point by Superfecta (#22) – this is SUCH exciting news that it’s not even worth a phone call?

Also notice that Liz says:

Anthony and I finally talked about getting married.

As opposed to:

Anthony and I finally talked about getting married!!

Why do I keep reading this dreck? Oh yea – so I can keep up with this blog!
Alt Comix
March 21st, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan Thanks to the good doctor’s med school training (not to mention his giant plasma TV), the Health Department has their more recent mystery solved.

Click here to see why: http://flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2348545715/sizes/l/
Lord-z
March 21st, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

A3G: “As bad as Ruby? That does it, Margo. Double Karate Chop!”

Alternate line for Mamaduke: “I know zat I am making you wear einer Leash, but don’t get any ideas. Jeez, You bist worze dan Ernst Röhm”.
jules
March 21st, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

(DT)GT: “Tyler had a good idea…now where can I find a big stick?”
Oddball Turkeypanties
March 21st, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

That’s right, DUDES? The fuck? I never call my girlfriends “dude”. “Guys” seems more or less universal, but “dudes”? Unless she’s addressing us?

I have to say, Liz’s smirk in that last panel is almost Winkerbeanesque.
John C Fremont
March 21st, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

# 24 – Self-clubbing Tyler was a whole year ago? No way! Or as Liz Patterson would say, “No way, Dude!”

JP – In the first panel, Elvira does her tribute to Apple Mary. After that, it’s back to being Philip Seymour Hoffman. “It fell out of the plane when you did a rollover? That had not occurred to us, Dude.”

Rex Morgan: “What’s going on, Andy?”
Andy: “Woof! Woof! Methicillin-Resistant Woofococcus Aureus! Kid died, woof! Starfish hair! Woof!”

(I live in a strange world where all the comics live together in peace and harmony. Except for Foob. The other comics all hate Foob. At least, that’s what Abbey Spencer told me this morning.)
bees on pie
March 21st, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Very few people in this world can pull off “dudes,” and Liz is not one of them. (Special side note to my mom: you’re not one of them either.)

#13 & #25: GRIDLOCK!
yellojkt
March 21st, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Marmaduke and Nameless Owner are on their way to the monthly Bestiality Tea Dance at their favorite leather bar.
TripleE
March 21st, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

That Marmaduke comment is made of win. OMFG.

The internet is now yours.

~EEE~
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

FOOB: Oh my God, I hate this strip! This is the worst engagement ever! And are they even engaged? Who tells their friends, “we finally talked about getting married.”? First you discuss, probably more than once, the notion of marriage and the future and all that stuff. Then you, usually, have someone ask the question, not allude to it. And then you say to friends and family, “We’re engaged…whoo hoo!!!” Not this insipid reporting of some bland conversation that took place on the sofa in the course of talking about vanilla ice cream and the weather. This is so horrible, I can’t stand it.

And she’s already yakking about bridesmaids! This supposed engagement isn’t even 24 hours old yet, she has no ring, no date, no announcement, and even the word “engaged” has only been uttered once, but she’s picking bridesmaids. And as far as revenge goes, I hope she’s looking to get back at Shawna-Marie for having the wedding that had her in the woods making out with Anthony — the even that brought us all to this miserable place.

And wouldn’t St. Elizabeth run over the Patterson Cathedral to share the news (if there actually IS news — I still can’t tell) with her parents. Especially Dad who has been pushing this partnership for so long?

I hate this family. I hate this strip!
Patrick
March 21st, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

FOOB: “Welcome to my underground lair, Mr. Bigglesworth!

GTA3G: I think Bolle has now achieved his own brand of WTF surrealism. I can’t tell anyone apart anymore. So GT is back to normal.

Marmapuke: Can no one stop his canine evil?

A3G: So much for being an artist, Lu Ann. Did you even get one single word out about your paintings? No, I didn’t think so.
alley (not allie) cat
March 21st, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

FOOB: I asked near the butt-end of yesterthread why Liz would ask April and Shawna-Marie to be her bridesmaids. I wasn’t aware that she’d even met Shawna-Marie. I realize that this is a plot device so that LJ can treat us to touching moments with the special bridesmaid, but it wasn’t that long ago that Liz was part of a group of four girlfriends who all seemed to be bridal-party material (and who were bridesmaids along with Liz). I take it they have been abandoned along with the rest of Liz’s life.
Willis
March 21st, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

#4 (Kilroy) – I thought the exact same thing.
alley (not allie) cat
March 21st, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

OK, I see that I mixed up Shawna-Marie with April’s special friend from school. Guess that shows how much attention I’m paying.
Trilobite
March 21st, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Is it school picture day in Gil Thorp, or is everyone just really dressy over at Milford High? Because I have to say, I’d worry about anyone who’s supposed to be seventeen years old and is habitually going to school wearing a nice dress shirt and a sportcoat. And the Pat Boone ensemble that our spitcurled hero is wearing isn’t exactly what I see shambling out of the local high schools in the afternoons around here, either.

It’s like none of the Mudlarks have ever even HEARD of a T-shirt, man. Spooky.
commodorejohn
March 21st, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – haha yes SUFFER YOU PUSHY NOSY BRATS SUFFER

DT – Please tell me they’re going to bronze Dick and pass him off as a sculpture.

FOOB – “Ha ha, I’ll sure make those two miserable for daring to remind me that I wasn’t yet the property of a man when they were! I’ll put them in corsets, that’s what I’ll do! Nobody crosses the Pattersons!”

GA – What the…ENOUGH WITH THE HUGE-EYED SPACE WOMEN ALREADY!

H&L – Chip forsees the Junior Anti-Sex League from 1984.

RMMD – Oh well, scratch one starfish-head.

Edison Lee – GRARGH
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

43: Allie Cat – Shawna-Marie: Liz’s friend who sometimes is black, sometimes white (like Warren) at whose wedding Lize contemplated “these special moments” while walking down the aisle — as if she were in some feminine hygiene commercial.

Shann-nnon – April’s special friend, who looks like Julia, the date Anthony brought to S-M’s wedding. I’m sure April will perform something at the wedding (if they call it that, since engagements are discussions), and Shann-non will tell April how awesome she is. Shann-non will be there because Gerald will do something terrible to April in the days leading up to the wedding, and since she “can’t to to her own sister’s wedding alone!” she’ll ask Shann-non to come along as a nice ego boost.
Captain Insano
March 21st, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Can any of you photoshop wizards remove the thought-bubble from the final frame of today’s FOOB?

Then, we could have an EPIC “Caption this Frame” contest. I mean, my God, look at Lizardbreath–just look at her.
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

47: Cpt. Insano — I’m hoping Bats : [ will have a more suitable strip posted very soon. That last frame is just crying for her revision!
Airish
March 21st, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

For those Marmaduke “fans” out there, The Onion has finally paid due homage to his creator — Brad Anderson. Frankly, as I read the article (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/some_old_man_still_churning_out), it didn’t really appear to be satire and reads more like straight news. In this case, straight and satirical probably would produce about the same result.
Girl Reporter
March 21st, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

I thought I was doing pretty well keeping Rex Morgan and Judge Parker, um, straight in my head. Guess not. I spent the last couple days wondering what horrible thing involving the root “necro” the Coroner had done that he was calling a lawyer so early in the morning.
Lisa (not the dead one)
March 21st, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

#43 – I’d like to know why she’s asking Dawn and Shawna-Marie instead of Candace. Isn’t it Candace who’s been shown to be her friend, the one who comes over and listens to Liz moan about stuff? If I had to listen to Liz moaning about stuff, I’d at least want to be asked to be a bridesmaid as a show that my efforts were appreciated, even if I did manage to be conveniently elsewhere the day of the wedding.

And speaking of moaning, I’m sure all Anthony will get is Liz’s wide-eyed blinking looking up at him from the pillow at night.
Muffaroo
March 21st, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

FOOB – Well, now we know what thoughts go through somebody’s mind while they’re typing “ALL ANTHONY AND NO FUN MAKES LIZ A DULL BROAD” over and over and over.
Thorpedo
March 21st, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: I’m sorry, could you make today’s strip more confusing? I think I get that the last dialog balloon is supposed to be a continuation of the claw-filled phone conversation from panel 2, but what, two panels of phone conversation violate some basic “hey let’s have this strip make sense” law?
fishmorgjp
March 21st, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Eurgh… given Marmaduke’s penchant for sexually assaulting humans, this leather getup looks especially wrong.
Montag
March 21st, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

RMMD: Today’s strip remixed.
Kate
March 21st, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

FOOB: The hell? She’s calling bridesmaid dresses payback? That means she already knows they’ll be ugly. She’s planning for them to be ugly. That makes as little sense as an artist’s cackling “Ha ha! I am drawing sludge on purpose and everyone must look at it!”

… wait.
Jim Thorp(e)
March 21st, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

My god, bring back the monkeys. At least they could get characters to look the same from day-to-day drawing at random.
Muffaroo
March 21st, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

MF – I had the theory that somebody draws the strip and then somebody else puts the dialog in, without any contact between them. Now it looks more like they put the balloons in first, and leave it to an assistant to fill the remaining space with whatever junk he feels like putting in.

MW – “There’s more to my story.” STOP THE PRESSES!

Zippy – Quotable line: “This one’s funny on all 17 levels!”
DrBear
March 21st, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Liz’s gaze in the last panel would make Hilary Clinton say “I don’t trust that woman.”
Trogdor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

#51 – In all fairness, I’ll bet Candace is going to be her maid of honor.

It still doesn’t make this arms-length business transaction (oops, sorry, ‘engagement’) any more appealing.

But at least we see today that Liz is not entering into an engagement/marriage without any emotion. It’s clear that she’s filled with emotion – hate and anger! Okay, maybe it’s not love. But at least it might get us some actual dialog and not wistful thought balloons.
Girl Reporter
March 21st, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

10-1 it’ll be butt-bows.
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

56: Kate – I agree. Besides, bridesmaid dresses today really aren’t bad (not like in the 80s with the big puffy sleeves and bad colors). And I didn’t think the dress Lizard wore to S-Ms wedding was bad at all. Obviously Granthony thought it was hot (but then again, if she wore a flannel housecoat, he’d really think she was sexy).
Abbey, the Wonderdog
March 21st, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Quoting my “master” and his “friend” on the phone.

“An outbreak of MRSA? Where?”

“We don’t know. . . and a kid just died from it this morning.”

Ok.

Find out where the kid died. I bet that is where the MRSA is. Just a hunch.

But then again, I am a dog.

BARK! BARK! BARK!
britbike
March 21st, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

I’m guessing Candace is in Liz’s sights as Maid of Honor (Matron of Honor? Is she married? Who knows? Who really cares?). She’ll get an extra-special dress and all the work of supporting the bride on her special day.
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

I’m thinking she’s going to have April as her Maid of Honor. Perhaps Deanna can dig deeper into the crawl space and come up with a bridesmaid match to the moldering wedding gown.
Kate
March 21st, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

#62 4Evah Fan, I want everyone to attend the wedding in a flannel housecoat. And the reception food can be served out of refrigerators lined up in a darkened room, so everyone can stand in front of their own little pool of light going CHOMP SLURF GOBBLE SMACK. It would be a real Patterson Ho-down.
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

I’m kind of hoping that April doesn’t have to wear the dress of shame – I’m thinking she’ll perform an original power ballad – Liz and Tony’s Theme – with Uncle Phil getting a hose-a-phone solo.

But if Fwancie and Mewwidummy aren’t dropping petals, I’ll be pissed. Meanwhile, Robin will be dropping a load. And carrying the rings, possibly.
Girl Reporter
March 21st, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

62 4EvahFan:

Oh. The ugly ones are still out there:

http://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_detail.jsp?stid=2326&prodgroup=110
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

66: Kate – and with their hair up in silly little buns and french twists.
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 21st, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

68: Girl Reporter: Point taken.

(I’m posting way too much today…this strip must have really pissed me off!)
troutmaskreplica
March 21st, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

the Funky Winkerbean-esque smirk in the final foob panel gives me a chill that will last for days.
Gal Friday
March 21st, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

#26 Hate to tell you–Toni and old crush are the same person.

GT: Yes, please, bring back the other artist!!!
Girl Reporter
March 21st, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

16 Kiesha: As you’re planning that 10/25 wedding, are you noticing that the only models in the bride magazines who actually LOOK HAPPY on their special day are plus-size? All the others do that high-fashion scowl. The worst photos are the ones with a “bride” and “mother of the bride”. In those the two of them give each other an evil, vampiric look as if they’re planning to suck the blood out of the groom after mating.

Seriously. I’m still creeped out five years later.
Justafoob
March 21st, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Editing a bit from yesterthread: Apewill plays teenage Canadian-retro-angst-pop (CRAP) music.

lizanthony’s wedding will be soooo special
UncleJeff
March 21st, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

Just to give you a break from FOOB-ania…check out Brenda Starr and — a blast from the past — “Annie” (nee “Little Orphan Annie”)
I wish I had the computer skills to link these strips.
Brenda is continuing the naked-guy-in-chains/black girl with blue eyes/is she a golddigger strip but added a new hag-like character.
“Annie” has gone from a Oliver Warbucks working secretly for the Bush White House submarine epic to a bit where he throws the mechanical head/terrorist (yes, a mechanical head) into the sea and suddenly is in the hold of a cargo ship held hostage by the crew he thought he had “freed”.
Then, we abruptly shift to an airplane containing a teen Annie with an older female pilot heading to Alaska for fun and games. Huh?
Foobaphobe
March 21st, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

FOOB:
S h a n n o n has to be in this wedding for morality play purposes if nothing else. (April will be declared to be too busy taking care of animals to attend.) Possibly Anthony’s ex will be heard making a hateful comment about her, the nasty little scamp. Or maybe she’ll marry Anthony’s slow little cousin. Or she’ll sing “The Wedding Song” at the ceremony. Something. But it’ll hurt.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 21st, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

2 NickM — It’s not just you.

Josh — awesome take on Marmaduke today!
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 21st, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

#307 yesterthread Tim O’Shenko
Oh man, you beat me to the Dennis/big feet joke. Sick minds truly do think alike.
anaisninja
March 21st, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan is going to take on MRSA, also known as Super Staph.

Rex Morgan is now officially the most action-packed and relevant-to-current-events strip. That’s pretty depressing.

I also can’t wait to see all the medically inaccurate statements he makes, as I just took a class on MRSA and other infectious diseases.
rhymes with puck
March 21st, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

FBOFW: “That’s right, I hated being in your hellish weddings and now you have to act like you’re happy to see me get married to my loser fiance!”

GT: Here’s the idea – anonymous girl will call the police to report that Andrew’s father has been kidnapped. Andrew will whack himself on the back of the head with a branch to lend credence to the kidnapping story. Problem solved!

Hagar: How does thinking that the stars are spikes or hacked up pieces of the gods’ enemies make you feel insignificant? And yes, more information about norse mythology can be found on the internet. http://www.coldwater.k12.mi.us/lms/planetarium/myth/polaris.html

RMMD: So why is the county morgue calling a general practicioner to track down a staph infection outbreak? Shouldn’t he be calling the CDC or something?

Phantom: The ghost-who-walks has women who try to enter the jungle patrol killed. — Old jungle saying
Tonstant Weader
March 21st, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

The longer FBofW goes on, the more apparent it becomes that Anthony really got the raw end of this deal. Harsh words, considering he himself is a mushy-faced progeria victim with a spine made of play-dough and all the joie de vivre of a can of tuna.

I suppose we should be celebrating this intensely irritating and vaguely creepy strip, however, as it represents the last time Liz will demonstrate any brain activity at all before her complete transformation to a Stepford Wife. Good thing, too, because I suspect anyone with more personality might send Anthony scuttling back into his mustache like a hermit crab into a shell.

Bonus points to Lynn for finally fulfilling her lifelong dream of making Elizabeth a mother without sullying herself by having sex.
Professor Fate
March 21st, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

FOOB: I look at the last pannel and I hear “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti”

Hope Anthony likes it in the gimp suit – perhaps that’s why he has been after liz all this time – here here is a woman who will treat him like the worthless toad that he knows he is. At least on weekends.
Lolsworth
March 21st, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

WHY IS LIZ ANGRY AT ME
Sugar and Spike
March 21st, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

Mbvlckd steegleramp oshkowonka*

* Marmaduke is channeling Ed Gein. We never miss the opportunity to make an Ed Gein reference.
Hugin
March 21st, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

While the makeup of Lizardbreath’s side of the wedding party is much discussed so far, the range of choices for bridesmaids is pretty clear — Cancace, S-M, Dawn, Apwil, and maybe Deanna. Francie and Spawn 1 will be flower girls, and Spawn 2 will carry the rings.

My real question, which I first asked last week at the trail end of a thread, is who will be the groomsmen, seeing as Anthony has neither friends nor family? My early bets are Gord (mainly because you can’t hold any event in Canada without involving someone named Gord) and Michael (just because he’s so great, of course). But that’s still at least 2 short of balancing out the party. John is the only character who actually likes Anthony, so maybe he’s a candidate despite the fact that he also has to walk Liz down the aisle. And I guess they can always prop Chinnuts up somewhere — no other male in the foobiverse appears to be any more aware of Blandthony’s existence.

OK, I’ve officially given this way, way too much thought. I now need to vomit.
Zaq
March 21st, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

The one thing that would, in my eyes, redeem FOOB forever: If Liz hired Margo to plan her wedding. Yes, or hell yes?
Zaq
March 21st, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

85 Hugin: I think that Gerald (that’s his name, right? April’s inevitable intended?) will be called into action, and then he and April can sneak off and drunkenly go roadside in a painfully obvious parallel to Liz and Anthony at S-M’s wedding, and all the foobs (both in-strip and out) will gush over how perfect it is.
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
March 21st, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

16 — Kiesha — Trust me on this… eloping is the only way to go. Save the money you would otherwise spend on flowers for a nice trip or a down payment.

BTW, congrats.
Justafoob
March 21st, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#85 Hugin

I dare say Warren and Officer Doooo-right will fill out the slate of groomsmen.

They have to go to the wedding just to see the man who they lost the great Liz to. After the ceremony, they will scowl, have a black cloud over them and then storm off just knowing that they were bested by a saint.

Eric Chamberlain is going to be parking cars.

And in a really strange twist, Howard Erk will preside over the ceremony seeing as how he has turned his life over to god.
Uncle Lumpy
March 21st, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#85 Hugin –

Weed and Laurence round out the touched-by-an-angel crew of Patterson acolytes.
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

#85 – It wouldn’t be a wedding unless Jesse – Liz’s troubled but lovable rascal of a student from Mtigmatrimony- came and offered a Native ceremonial chant-blessing. Then played his purloined harmonica.

Are you taking notes, Lynn?
Gal Friday
March 21st, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

#91 Yes! LOL!
Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Nutrition Division
March 21st, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

FC – … and don’t forget to be quiet when we’re in the car and daddy gets pulled over by the police on the way home after slamming shots with us at the local bar.
Smash97
March 21st, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

In panel 1 does Liz have the DTs or are those bacon slices hovering over her hands?
man behind the curtain
March 21st, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

MW == Alone and hungry, a crying Mary is befriended by an elderly woman. She identifies herself as the neighborhood meddler. Sadly, she knows that her remaining years are few. So mary becomes her student, an apprentice meddler. She learns all the secrets of successful meddling so that over time, when the old woman passes away, mary takes up the mantle of Meddelr Extraordinaire”. Now as the end of her time may be drawing near, she too must seek out someone worthy to serve as an apprentice. Toeby? Vera? Dawn? Or someone yet to be seen? (Harriet Potter?)
Eric the Grate
March 21st, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Judging by the bottle of scotch/fortified wine/bourbon sitting on the cabinet in Panel 1, we can pretty much guess what Elizabeth’s means of escape from her smutheringly passive-aggressive marriage will be. R.I.P., Liz’s liver.

Marmaduke: I’m fascinated by the concept of cartoon animals constantly forgoing pants when they decide to dress like humans. Porky Pig, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse…..none of them seem to care about covering up their junk. I salute you, Giant Murderdog, for carrying on the proud tradition of your comrades.
WonderCat
March 21st, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

I should really know better than to read the FOOB chat page. But much like reading the actual comic strip, I find it difficult NOT to read it. In this case, I don’t want to be alone in knowing that people like this exist:

I think it is very brave of Lynn to show two young people eschewing the nonsense of love and romance and depicting a sensible marriage of convenience between Liz and Anthony. They both want the same things in life: children, and to live in Milborough, and to lead a quiet life. If more young people were smart enough to marry someone they don’t love, like Liz and Anthony, the divorce rate would be much lower!

Lana L, Des Moines Iowa

There is part of me that still hopes this is merely rampaging sarcasm. But I don’t really believe that. So now I guess I know who comprises the fan base that Lynn is targeting. And that said, I have pretty much covered everything that I can say about this without causing my head to explode.
Eric the Grate
March 21st, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

CORRECTION: Mickey Mouse does, in fact, cover up his junk. My apologies to the Disney Corporation.
lynn makes me barfy
March 21st, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Nothing says blissfully happy bride-to-be like plotting to make your closest friends regret they know you.
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 21st, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

21. Cami: oh, to see a new villain in Slylock Fox…Margo the Mongoose! I don’t that she’d actually be a villain, just misunderstood. Or untouchable. Or both.

46. 4EvahFan: Warren and Shawna-Marie suffer from a rare form of impetigo, with skin coloration coming and going at the whim of nature, the phase of the moon, the Creatrix… Rex Morgan, M.D., could provide more information, but at the moment he’s wondering if June has replaced his regular coffee with MRSA.

51. Lisa: I suspect Candace (oh, lucky thing!) will get to be the maid of honor (or skank of honor, since she’s living with a guy). I can’t see Lizardbreath asking April to be in her wedding party at all, unless it’s to head up the valet parking crew.
Ah, I see I’ve been sceoped by several folks on this front. Hell, if I were Candace, I’d engineer the catfight to end all catfights with Liz in an attempt to get out of this “honour.”
AirForbes
March 21st, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

#91 – And when Jesse plays the harmonica, Grandpa Jim will suddenly stand up and shout “That’s my harmonica, @#$!#$!!!!” And everyone will rejoice that Jim is speaking again, and his miraculous recovery will be attributed to the love that is Lizthony and the noble powers of the natives.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
March 21st, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Yeah, Elizaloser. That’s what marraige is all about. Wearing a ring and taking some sort of revenge on your friends. Freak!!!
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 21st, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

#85 Two fellows will suddenly appear that Anthony and Liz have known all their lives, really great friends of Anthony’s, guys he hangs with all the time. We’ll know this, not because we’ve ever laid eyes on them before, but because many characters will TELL US THIS IS SO in much the same way we are told that Anthony is “nice.”
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

#72 Gal Friday….

I’ve been reading Luann for years (damn…has there ever been clearer evidence I ought to be locked up? and how old is that asterix ampersand star dog of Luann’s, anyway?). I thought Brad (and TJ) first saw Toni Daytona at the first day of EMT class, sitting next to her long-gone friend.

I don’t recall Brad saying “Hey, that’s the girl from next door, the one who watched me work on my loser car in the driveway, back in HS”. And as distant as Toni was toward Brad through their training, it doesn’t seem to follow that she’s the lon-lost neighborhood crush.

I’m perfectly willing to be corrected/convinced, though.
AirForbes
March 21st, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

104: My recollection is that the neighborhood crush’s name was Diane, and that she has long since moved on.
Foobar
March 21st, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

I ripped out and threw away today’s FBOFW. I can’t be expected to look at that face while I’m eating breakfast.
teenchy
March 21st, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

# 97: I’m voting rampaging sarcasm.
Justafoob
March 21st, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

“That’s my harmonica, @#$!#$!!!!”

gwampah would never say that.

He would say, “gurgle, unnnnghhh, gurgle gurgle MONICA Boxcar!”

To which Iris will say, “shut up you old fool. That isn’t your long lost girlfriend Monica. Here take your medicine and yes you can have prime rib today.”

“uuunnnnnnnn mmmmmmmmmyyyyy MONICA!!!! Boxcar!!!!”
commodorejohn
March 21st, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

#97 WonderCat – I’m torn between wanting to believe that oh please this has to be sarcasm and realizing, horrified, that no, this is probably dead serious and that’s one of the exactly two sorts of people who actually like this strip; they’re either the freaky middle-aged moms who seriously think tripe like this is romantic, or they’re the freakier people like Bob the Robot who think that kids today need to disabuse themselves of the notions of “romance” and “emotion” in general. Eugh.
kingklash
March 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Hagar makes me think of a better joke from MST3K.

Crow, watching the opening crdits for This Island Earth:
“This make me feel so insignificant. But then again, I always feel insignificant!”

Why do most of the young ladies in Gasoline Alley have hamster eyes?
man behind the curtain
March 21st, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#97 — WonderCat — I’m actually hoping this isn’t sarcasm. perhaps it’s just someone who is very perceptive. Liz and Anthony have known each other for so long that their relationship is already old and stale, as if they were an old married couple.
Tabby Lavalamp
March 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Lynn Johnston masturbates to the tepid, mind-numbing sorta-romance she’s foisting on her unfortunate readers.
Insect1752
March 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

I do miss the old Gil Thorpe artist… that was a level of quirkiness that will not soon be seen again. But still I am grateful that Gil Thorpe makes some effort to actually MOVE THE STORY ALONG!

As a longtime fan of Mary Worth, my frustration level is high…
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

The FOOB Coffee Blarg has not put up new letters for Friday.

What this probably means is that Lynn gave her staff Good Friday off.

If that’s the case, I’m pissed off not only because there are no FOOB letters, but also because I have to be at work.

And it’s 70 degrees out. And my husband is already at my parents’ house having fun.

Damn.
Burrill
March 21st, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

In Marmaduke, the owner guy doesn’t seem to be standing upright. Is Marmaduke’s gravitational pull that strong?
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#97 WonderCat –

Makes me want to move to Des Moines right now, so I can find a soul-deadening marriage w/o any hint of love or romance. Nice quiet life…yes, indeed, I’m sure that would lower the divorce rate. Not sure about the suicide rate, though.

Can’t wait to give this advice to my sons, when they get a bit older: Go to Iowa, young man. Or maybe to Mtigiwikiwikiwoowoo.
Yaanu
March 21st, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

#115: He’s just imitating Michael Jackson so he can subliminally “groove” with Marmaduke.
Killgrave
March 21st, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I don’t get Liz’s smug satisfaction in all this. She can’t have the pristine, virginal white wedding of her dreams because she is marrying SOMEONE ELSE’S LEFTOVER. I mean, c’mon. The little bastida of Limpony’s past life is going to be the freak’n flowergirl, for foob’s sake. She is going to be the first one down the aisle.

And Limpony, on the blessed wedding night, will finally unlock the golden vagina. This will be, of course, after about three hours of stilted dialogue on the couch with his betrothed (about two weeks’ worth of strips).
Yitzchok
March 21st, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

What’s that? Why, yes I did edit a Luann to make it slightly more disturbing.
Josh
March 21st, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

My opinion, if anyone’s interested: Candace is supposed to be Liz’s “alternative” friend — she was a gothy girl, or the idea of a gothy girl drawn and written by someone who’s never actually met one — in high school/college (I think she and mega-white-bread Liz were actually at odds for while, but I could be making that up), and now of course she lives with her boyfriend WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY like the whore she is. She’s a parallel to feminist single-mom career woman Connie, who in the early days of the strip was a foil for conventional stay-at-home Ellie, though they too ended up being very close. Anyway, Liz (and/or LJ) probably assumes that such a radical feminazi extremist probably wouldn’t even WANT to participate in a patriarchal wedding ceremony, so she isn’t bothering to ask her. She’d probably just do something humiliating like wear inappropriate earrings or shoes, or maybe her dress would reveal a tattoo, and then the wedding would be ruined.

And yeah, the “girl next door” from Brad’s past was Diane … not sure what ever happened to her. I don’t think she was drawn to be quite as much of a glamourpuss as Toni.

Josh
Hank
March 21st, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

RE: 75, UncleJeff, Annie. My GOD, but the current Annie strip is GREAT. It’s completely insane, what with robot pirate heads and almost Seinfeldian humor. Why haven’t we been following this strip here?
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 21st, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#97 Yeah, iI’d say it’s sarcasm. The hint is that the reader is complimenting Lynn for having intentionally portrayed a romance free sensible marriage, when it’s evident that the Foob writing team believes they are creating the most romanticalish tru wuv story of all time.
gnome de blog
March 21st, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

April will be drafted as MOH. She’ll dye her hair purple and wear black lipstick.

Widdle Wobin will cawwy the wings. They’ll dress him up in a frilly Little Lord Fauntleroy suit. He’ll be the first little boy since Winnie Winkle’s kid to actually like it.
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

# 119 –

makes perfect sense…Luann’s mom is one of the all-time great comic-hottie-mothers/wives…

Janis
Luann’s mom
PreTeena’s mom
June Morgan
Blondie
Alice Mitchell
John C Fremont
March 21st, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

# 116 – Now listen here, Bassogap, as a former resident of Des Moines, I just want to say that, uh, well, I mean – okay, you’ve got a point. Nevermind.
Jeffsterr
March 21st, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

DT: last panel is Dick’s forehead having a conversation with his left eye??? I’m really tryiong to understand this strip but A. all the characters look the same B. The dialogue makes no sense at all and C. This plot is convoluted, preposterous and insulting to the intelligance of the reader.
Jeffsterr
March 21st, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

I should really proof before I post.
gnome de blog
March 21st, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

75 Uncle Jeff:
The “hag-like character” is Priscilla’s mother, whom Pris and Dorkita recently rescued from captivity in the desert. I hope they introduce her to the chained-up guy.
Clumpy
March 21st, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: The casual observer reads “It looks like you’re drugging Andrew. Anything I can help with?”
Catherine
March 21st, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Oh, she’s going to be a delightful bride. I think this is how half the girls that end up being flamed on wedding message boards start out.
Ranger
March 21st, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

Today’s FOOB, be afraid, be very afraid.

DT: So we have characters named “Dab Stract” and “Cole Lector”. When does the recently knighted “Sir Reel Yism” make an appearance?
beergoggles
March 21st, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

MW – please, let tomorrow be where Mary’s friend’s parents call in social services to rescue our obviously creepy, poor waif, tossing her into some nasty foster home or orphanage, leading to her true need to meddle in other people’s lives.

GF – for the ampersand exclamation parentheses sake, why isn’t anyone praising this? It made my explanation of the saturn boxcar margo t-shit easier! And yes, I’m calling it a saturn boxcar margo t-shirt! And pi you!

FOOB – after receiving this missive, I can easily picture all of Liz’s friends (can i really call them friends?) gathering to stage the intervention.

RMMD – why is Andy calling up Rex over this? Is Rex the only doctor in town? Do he hold some official medical office? Are the dead/infected people all Rex’s patients? Does Rex even have any patients? – by the way, who is so well groomed at 5 AM after getting back from an emotionally wrought fishing trip?

DT – let me guess what the twist is – could a painting of Tracy be in the museum? You know, a lot of people whose portraits are in that museum end up disappearing?
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 21st, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

48. 4EvahFan: sorry, but I kind of liked today’s FOOB (take this into comparison to the previous two weeks of craparoni we’ve endured…then again, maybe it’s because the cat (my favorite character) was in it). I can’t really rip into it.
Anyway, a thread or so back, someone was commenting on Love is…, featuring Asshathony and Lizardbreath. Like a bad dream, or a butter tart gone south, that’s been picking at me, and I had to purge it out of my system. Then again, between Foob and Love Is…, I feel the need to call a haz-mat team and decontaminate my computer:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2350476300/
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 21st, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Today’s PBS – great strip, or GREATEST STRIP EVER?

Slylock Fox – Yeah. “Secret Meeting.” Right.

Rex Morgan – Ok, when I said I wanted Rex to get back to a medical storyline, I didn’t have dead children in mind. I’d just like to say that.
LightSyrup
March 21st, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

I think Diane looked kind of like Brad’s mom…
Mibbitmaker
March 21st, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Josh–

The last FOOB panel today would make a great recurring motif to use in appropriate circumstances, like with Finger-Quoting Margo.

Imagine if we had it during MW’s Aldo storyline: just as Mary’s Gang planned the “intervention”, and especially during Aldo going off the cliff.

Aldo: “…Oh, no.” (crash!)
EvilLiz: “That’s right, dudes… — it’s payback time!”

You could call her something like “PaybackLiz”.
WonderCat
March 21st, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

While reading through the differing opinions on whether Lana from Des Moines (see post 97) was being sarcastic or not, it struck me… If it was sarcasm, did Lynn’s drones actually realize that before they posted it, or were they clumping it with the other “I’m so happy to see Liz and Anthony having a mature relationship” fanatics?
GotFuzzy
March 21st, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

FOOB: OK I’m picking nits here, but how did Liz get home? Inevithony picked her up and they had that godawful conversation where he condescended to let her speak to whoever she chose to at whatever time of day, then they were at his crapshack where they nattered on about how they might as well get married, then they put Francie to bed, and now she is home? Did they leave the child alone so he could drive her home, hug her a chaste good-night and then stop to pick up a hooker who looks like Accent Marks? If that is the case, and please let that be the case, I hope Francie capitalized on the opportunity and ran away. Or did Liz take the car and risk running afoul of the Milborough religious police and get pinched for driving while female and unveiled?
UncleJeff
March 21st, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#133 – bats. Now, THAT’s what I was talkin’ ’bout.
The perfect marriage of creepy and mundane.

I’m glad to see a couple of ‘mudges picked up on the adventures of Annie and Brenda Starr’s friends.

Josh, you gotta check out “Annie”. It’s been the most bat-shit insane series of strips since Gil Thorp changed artists (MT)GTA.
Shermy Glamrocker
March 21st, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

85 Hugin: I think that Gerald (that’s his name, right? April’s inevitable intended?) will be called into action, and then he and April can sneak off and drunkenly go roadside in a painfully obvious parallel to Liz and Anthony at S-M’s wedding, and all the foobs (both in-strip and out) will gush over how perfect it is.

Yes, yes YES! I love this scenario. And while they flash back and forth between the scenes of “perfect wedding” and “drunken roadside,” the Stone’s “Gimme Shelter?” can play over the dialogue.

Well, it could if it were a movie.

Which I hope it never is.
Shermy Glamrocker
March 21st, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Whoops, forgot to end the blockquote.
Bassogap
March 21st, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

135 LightSyrup

Holy crap…what a save. How long did it take to find that in the Chron archives?

Color me very impressed. Thank you.
Shoshi
March 21st, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Hey–I think Liz is making the transformation into a sexual being, now that she’s sort of engaged. For one thing, the glasses are off (if she needs them for grading, I figure she probably needs them for computer work). And, her hair is starting to come out of the twist. Ponytail today, free-flowing locks tomorrow! The bedroom eyes are probably part of the deal, too.

And, even though it was lame, I think it is refreshing that Lynn put a gag in today’s strip, instead of just MAKING us gag!

Happy Purim!
LTBF
March 21st, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Maybe I’m just too old to relate to how Liz would do things, but telling one of your best friends that you are engaged and asking her to be a bridesmaid by e-mail seems a little strange to me.

Of course, i thought it was wierd when she sent a text message to Warren to tell him about her new apartment she was so excited about instead of actually calling him.
LTBF
March 21st, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

I just read the strip again. She didn’t tell Dawn she is engaged, she said they talked about getting married. If she and Anthony said they are engaged, why not tell her friends they are?

What an idiot.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
March 21st, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

MW: Practice Makes Perfect.

#133, bats: Bravo!
Alan Vanneman
March 21st, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Let’s face facts: Gil Thorp is dead. Those magnificently bizarre wood-cut panels were 99.99% of the strip’s attraction. Now that it’s down to 0.01% of its former self, it’s time to move on. I mean, Nancy is better than this.
jt
March 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

While reading FOOB, panel four, I heard a musical sting, Kill Bill style. “Always a brides maid, never a bride. Until now.” (da da DA!)
Little Guy
March 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

GA: So, she’s Monica Bellucci?

FOOBFic: I’ve stayed out of the visual fanzine of Lynn lately, but this Edda Burberizing of Liz piqued my interest. Suddenly, it made perfect sense. Liz will ask April to be her Maid of Honor, thus enableing her to be in full LizZilla Mode.
Re: SF Reader
March 21st, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke – you do Folsom Street proud!

#133 – That’s really unfair springing that on unsuspecting clickers. That’s the one comic strip you can get cooties from just looking at.
El Santo
March 21st, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

That last panel of FOOB.

It frightened me.

To the very CORE.
commodorejohn
March 21st, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

#147 Alan Vanneman – While I agree that GT is a pretty pale shadow of its former self under Generic White Male drawer Frank Bolle, remember that we’re due for a new artist before too long here – hopefully he’ll be able to provide the requisite level of crazy the strip needs. And as much as we all want to pile on Bolle, you have to admit that he has gotten off a few good panels in his tenure.

#149 Little Guy – Oh goodness, I hope that’s not what Lynn is trying for. Edda does what she does with a certain ineffable skill and grace that no lardass Patterson could ever hope to match, and you can’t help but like her for it. Liz trying the same thing would just make her look pathetically petty and mean. (Not that that would be at all out of character.)
Islamorada Girl
March 21st, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Bridezilla time! With iridescent mango dresses!
Mundane and creepy. Sort of like a bus and truck tour of Hannah Arendt’s banality of evil.
Angry Beaver
March 21st, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke: Show me an animal who likes to have clothes on it, all the pets I ever had hated having clothes on!
Vakar
March 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

MT: What gives, lady? A strange man shows up unannounced with a puppy and wants to see your eight-year-old daughter RIGHT NOW. Why would you have any problem with that?
Jordan
March 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Marrying Anthony in order to get revenge? Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face! Except it’s more like cutting off your whole head.
Bud
March 21st, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Re: FOOB panel 4…

I… I… I have to admit… I’m somewhat turned on…
Gal Friday
March 21st, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#104 and #120 Thanks! I stand corrected. I stopped reading Luann years ago until recently when I started reading this blog. They look the same. Maybe I’m infected by FOOBitis, when only childhood crushes develop (non)relationships.
Spaceman Spiff
March 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

I just want to add my voice to the chorus of those expecting Big Things from the Mary Worth Flashback 2008. I hope we learn that Mary’s dad came back, only for both her parents to be murdered in an apparent mugging. Then she’ll learn that it was actually her friend who killed them, and if only she’d meddled in her friend’s life more, she could have averted this tragedy. With great knowledge of what others should do comes great responsibility to share that knowledge, regardless of the circumstances, their desire, or the eventual outcome.

Of course, I’ll be disappointed, yet continue to hope. It’s like voting for the Democratic Party!
Gal Friday
March 21st, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

RMMD and MT: I sure wish for a crossover here, because Mark could punch the super staph into submission.
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

PBS — I bless the day I found this strip, and I bless the Mudges who led me thereto. Hosanna, hosanna.

Foob — Since I’m gonna crash this wedding in my puffy pink ugly dress, I’ve been occasionally pondering what gift to bring. Today it hit me — a gift certificate for a vasectomy for the groom. (Anyone wanna go in on it with me?) I’m doing it for humanity. I figure I don’t need to worry about a tubal ligation for the bride because Liz is so saintly that if I can just get the spermies tied off, those eggs will sit there in lonely splendor until menopause hits.
GazzaLadra
March 21st, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

I noticed a disturbing trend toward death and destruction across the funny pages today.

One of Dagwood’s fellow carpoolers (the blonde one) mentions that he’s going to give his boss hell for having fired him. Two weeks ago. Translation: his face will be all over the cable news outlets by lunch. “We didn’t know,” Dagwood will say. “He just seemed so quiet and nice, always taking my near misses with the carpool in stride. He was such a nice guy.” The others can only hope he plans to take the bus home this evening.
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Foob — And let me say in passing that the Foobocalypse is evoking such wonderful snarks (this thread alone has made me spew water out my nose a few times) that it’s almost worth the suffering. Well, no, not really. But the great snarks do help.
David
March 21st, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Regarding Liz’s use of “dudes”, that didn’t make a lot of sense to me, as unless I’m very behind the times, “dude” hasn’t become gender-neutral like “guys” has (to a certain degree). Then I realized that LJ was censored. Read it again and replace “dudes” with “bitches”, and it sounds perfect (and is even more of a turn-on).
fisher cutbait
March 21st, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

A3G: Margo points that finger of hers a lot. She points it in anger, in accusation, in disbelief, in resignation, in elation, despair, joy, confirmation, in command, in control…that finger gets a workout. I’m surprised she has yet to raise that overworked finger to her lips to blow an imaginary puff of smoke from a pretend revolver after she’s employed her Pointed Finger of (Insert Emotion Here) to dispatch yet another rival.

FBOW: Hey, Anthony, are you wondering what your impending love life with Liz is going to be like? You know you are. Let me help: twice a week for the first week, once every six months thereafter until the end of Year One, and then once a year until the kids arrive, then alternate years for a year, then never again.

Mary Worth: I started reading this strip during the Aldo storyline and I miss him. I’d like to witness a Dr. Jeff-Aldo smackdown, walking sticks and bottles a-flyin’. Only when Aldo was present was Mary unhitched from her overbearing prissiness and meddling. And I like it when Mary’s uncomfortable. And you do, too. Admit it. Yeah.

JP: It seems the artist for this strip enjoys drawing remarkably buxom women with thick shining cascading tresses of hair, and heaving bosoms stuffed into skimpy cocktail dresses and denim outfits. He clearly enjoys lavishing attention on full breasts, round hips, firm rumps and salacious, come hither stares…do you think he ever draws Abbey naked?
commodorejohn
March 21st, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

#165 fisher cutbait – I think that somewhere in Eduardo Baretto’s studio are hundreds of pictures of Abbey in all stages of undress, yes. The only problem is getting to them.
The Sparrow
March 21st, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Hiya, long-time lurker here, first time poster! This blog has some of the best snark I’ve ever seen on the interwebs, and as I read the hilarious comments here, I find myself cleaning various spewed drinks off the keyboard more frequently than I’d care to admit. I’ve never read some of these strips in my life (FOOB, MW, etc.) until I found this place. Now I can’t look away! Anyway, I can’t deliver the same kind of brilliant snark that most of you can, but in reading today’s horrible tomFOOBery, I couldn’t get Liz’s terrifying expression out of my mind. I knew I’d seen it somewhere before. After a little thought, now I know exactly where I’d seen it: http://content.ytmnd.com/content/1/a/5/1a5448455e1c7f95c107c0eb3a1809db.jpg

And because I’m crazy:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/LadyDarigan/clockworkFoob.jpg

I’d have photoshopped the whole comic, but I assure you O my brothers, I am lazy.
fisher cutbait
March 21st, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

#166 Commodore John- These pictures of which you speak, confirm their existence you can?
gkl
March 21st, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

GA: Poor Sturdivant, trying to cheat on his semi-retarded fiance only to discover that everyone else in town is also semi-retarded.

Pluggers: Ah, the driveway: A teenage plugger’s Playboy.

MT: I hope the eight-year-old girl has a beard. Not that violence against sick little cartoon children is funny, except that it is.
trey le parc
March 21st, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Hey, Barreto, don’t forget cartoon Neddy is 18. Let’s assign some Whore Diamonds to her, chop chop!
Brick Bradford
March 21st, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

GT Tyler looks more like Kasey Kasem to me–and and appears to be about the same age as Kasey is these days.
Shoshi
March 21st, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Especially after that “nurse” Pluggers, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to find out what Pluggers are *supposed* to be:

“Pluggers, Mr. Brookins says, is a chronicle of the hardworking people the world depends on…”Pluggers aren’t rednecks,” he says, dismissing efforts by some readers who try to recast redneck jokes into Pluggerisms. “Pluggers are self-deprecating and have a healthy sense of humor about themselves. They represent the majority of us who don’t live for the latest trend, who keep plugging along without fanfare and try to balance work, play and family life.”
http://tinyurl.com/3bl5fo

OK. I guess that if Pluggers are “hardworking people”, then most nurses would, indeed fall into that category. However, I’m not sure what’s so funny about the concept of hardworking people?? Especially if they are “the majority of us”.
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 21st, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

167. The Sparrow: a very nice debut! You’ve managed to make Liz appear even creepier (no small feat)…
Hawkeye
March 21st, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Given how the Foob engagement has been a mixture of strict businesslike formality mixed with unnecessary uber-sappiness, I now truly believe that Lynn doesn’t even really want to go through with the marriage herself, but feels obligated to after hyping it for so long, so she’s just going through the motions until it’s done and she can retire.
GotFuzzy
March 21st, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

Hawkeye, as Lynn has told us so many times and in so many different ways, she is not retiring! Like Charles Schulz, who she knew and called “Sparky,” she wants to keel over at her drawing board.

More information on how many different iterations of this story there have been can be found on the Internet. Or by going through the archives here and looking for rants on when the hell she is going to decide on a strategy and hang it up already.
Ukulele Ike
March 21st, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

WonderCat @ 97: “Kissin’ don’t last — cookin’ do.” — Old Jungle Saying.

GA: Yuck. Scancarello should NOT draw such enormous breasts on girls who otherwise look to be nine years old.
Ukulele Ike
March 21st, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

GA, Again: Sturdy, the first thing they’re supposed to teach you at Yale: Do not hit on the girlfriend’s sister. BAD mistake.

I understand they teach this at Princeton and Harvard, also.
Mountain Mama
March 21st, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

OK. Need a little help here.

What, exactly, is a “leather daddy”? I don’t think I”ve ever heard that expression before.

I’m thinking my own dad is a “cotton/poly bend daddy.” Or possibly a “100% cotton daddy.”
Alex
March 21st, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

If anything, I’m sort of surprised that Marmaduke’s cartoonist made the clothes that up to date. Given the generational divide between what I consider funny and what he considers funny, it’s a small blessing that The ‘Duke is only dressed in clothes from the eighties. We’re lucky he’s not wearing a bowler, pin-stripe suit and carefully-waxed mustaches.

Wait, did I say lucky? I think I mean UNlucky.
TheDiva
March 21st, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

176: Urban Dictionary doesn’t seem to have gotten to this particular phrase yet, but from various contexts I gather it’s something akin to the biker guy in the Village People.
geogeek
March 21st, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Leather Daddy – black leather-wearing, sometimes-but-not-necessarily biker gay male top, particularly one into Daddy/Boy scenes.
dale
March 21st, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Zits

Jeremy Pus for Brains is making Brad Degroot look smart. Brad is making Norman Drabble look like a harmless genius.

Note to Poteet about the operation:
I’m short on cash, but if you’re into do-it-yourself, I have several untraceable steak knives in the kitchen junk drawer. Fix the critters mentioned above, and I’ll throw in some unused hacksaw blades.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 21st, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#167 The Sparrow— Great first post!

Garfield— My guess is that Liz has asked Garfield to be the ring bearer because he’s smarter and better behaved than little Wobbin. In today’s strip, Garfield is clearly preparing himself for a Patterson style rehearsal dinner and reception. He even delivers a “snark”.
Texas Nick USN
March 21st, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Blanthony will NOT experience the Golden Vagina on the wedding night. They will “discuss” it… two or three weeks later… after some of initial “excitement” has worn off.

A: We’ve been…partners… for several weeks now… it already feels like forever… maybe we should talk about having… marital relations.

L: Yeah… maybe we should… talk about it.

BtC: Ack!!!

Hmmm… maybe I’m on to something. Bill the Cat would be a very welcome addition to the Foobiverse.
gnome de blog
March 21st, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

I realize I’m a little late here, but finger-pointin’ head-bobbin’ Margo + NO HUGGING! = t-shirt material.
Harold, Garfield Single minus Christian
March 21st, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Today’s Mark Trail is demanding some simple edits to the image in the first panel and a single word in the second. Anybody up to it?
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 21st, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

179. geogeek: that pretty much sums up a Leather Daddy (Mountain Mama, I’m shocked that with your interesting past, you’ve never heard the term!).
What does that make Rex Morgan? Lab-coat Daddy? Goofy-fishing-vest-with-lures-hooked-all-over-it Daddy? Flannel Daddy? Or, if Sarah had her way, just an old Doofus Daddy?
OverCat
March 21st, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Geez, ths is the most anticlimactic engagement ever. Which I imagine will describe their wedding night, as well.
Mountain Mama
March 21st, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Sorry to disappoint you, Bats :[ but I was never into the leather thing, nor were any of my boyfriends/fiances/husbands/assorted hangers-on.

However, I am reminded of one evening when I was in Easton, MD and found myself at a “biker bar.” I use Margo-quotes because it seemed to be literally in someone’s back yard.

The floor was dirt and there were picnic tables instead of standard tables and chairs. No glasses, just plastic cups. It was pretty surreal. If I hadn’t been there with two rather large men, I would have been rather nervous and I don’t spook easily. The patrons were rough-looking, to put it mildly.
AeroSquid
March 21st, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke:

Q: Why is the Great Dane dressed as Bruce Springsteen ?

A: For the hot Missin-the-80’s fantasy sex that only Marma-DUKE can provide a lonely housewife.
AeroSquid
March 21st, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

“Born in the Puppy Mill !”
man behind the curtain
March 21st, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

#145 LTBF — Good point. If they are engaged wouldn’t Liz first tell her parents? Unless of course they already know. Maybe Blandthony is already on the phone telling Ma and Pa Patterfoob that the plan has worked to perfection.
Islamorada Girl
March 21st, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

Mountain Mamma: A biker bar in Easton, MD? Do tell. I live around Easton and in my career as a writer, I’ve fallen in and out of every lowlife redneck dive in five counties, but never seen nor heard tell of a biker bar. Details, please.
The closest biker bar I can think of is the Dutch Inn in O.C. and even I won’t go in there.
Canuckguy
March 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

A3G, panel 3: Looks like his new job at Gil Thorpe is affecting Frank Bolle, the unusual angles of Margo and Luann (not to mention Luann’s bizarre angle of approach with her post) is something that was last seen in the funny pages during McLaughlin’s drawing of GT.

NEXT: Luann wins Milford’s semifinal game with a free shot from the foul line. She credits the ghost of Albert Pinkham Ryder with making the actual throw.
Mountain Mama
March 21st, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

I-Girl: That’s it, really. It was over 10 years ago, so who knows if it still exists.

I remember being in a residential neighborhood, but I don’t remember where. If it wasn’t in Easton, it was the next town over, but it wasn’t a long drive from where we were staying, which was right outside Easton proper. I’m pretty sure it was Easton.

There was enough parking for five or six cars, but there were a few bikes inside this fence. We had to walk through a gate and it was like an addition to someone’s house. Weirdest place I’ve ever been.

However, someone knew my (now ex) brother-in-law and so I guess we were cool. I remember a pool table and some picnic tables, a couple of arcade games in the corner and it was loud. I don’t drink beer, but I got a screwdriver (or was it wine?) in a plastic cup.

We didn’t stay that long; just enough for one or two drinks.

It was like you had to know about it to be there, you know? Like a biker equivalent of the old speakeasy or something. It was small.
Cornwhacker
March 21st, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

A3G: Sheesh, Alan. “I want to start fresh”? Don’t you know the line’s supposed to be “I mean it from the bottom of my heart”? And you’re not supposed to make the call on the first of spring, either.
Cornwhacker
March 21st, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

194: er… okay, yesterday was the first of spring, and Stevie didn’t say anything about Purim or Good Friday, so you’re safe this time, Alan. But watch it!
hypochrismutreefuzz
March 21st, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Liz is made from liquid metal. While Mary Worth is made from liquid meddle.
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

# 180 dale — BWAHAHA! On second thought…hmmm. On one hand, a chance to help humanity by inflicting pain on a Foob — a rare opportunity. On the other hand, I’d have to look closely at…eww. Lemme think about it.
The Sparrow
March 21st, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

#171 and #181: Thank you both! I’m afraid I won’t always be able to come up with funny posts, but I think I’ll be posting here more often now. Especially with the Foobocalypse upon us. The last few days have been particularly vomit-inducing.
The Naked This Needs Lemon Bandit
March 21st, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Tippity Tappity Click Sigh Clack Ker-Ow-Ker-Snack

ow ow ker tap tack tack this isn’t wi-fi ker is it

tikka tikka ticketa ticketa ticketa clack clack ker kisolm Ack.

Call me crazy (I won’t be offended, I get it at home and from broads enough), but I seem to remember a time when the characters of For Better or For Worse had some thread of ingratiatingly pathetic yet rareified, if mediocre, genuine sentiment and inkling (painful pun, f me, sorry) of how to give the benefit of the doubt to friends and sucky loved ones, rather than delight in cutting quick at opportune instants, to down lame supposed busom buddies… even if they have served to ask or are yet asking for it.

Call me lame and ridiculous, but I feel like Liz is turning into the next American Psycho, serving it up just like she thinks society has gone and done it. Punching me and other dweedles in the gut, and dangling the arteries of dashed petty hopes for all to see. Over and over and over.

Yesterthread #229 Guffaw gaw snush haw fsh har… my vote caw for COTW.

Also yestertalking… AeroSquid: my first love’s family moved away; it was probably for her own good to get her away from the one girl who made her feel like she wasn’t the only weird girl. Seven is a little early to exchange LifeSavers, though. But there were others.. each one a little closer to real than the last. What can I say? I’m a little Mary Worthy slut. I hope I’m right when I figure out it’s finally time to rein my overrated fractal titties in.

Maybe it was just really heavy, heady, girls who run and plot and giggle, “like”. She DID write me a letter after they moved; I’ll say that much for her.

If y’all were wondering what needs more lemon, it’s my absinthe.

La dee da. I’m glad that The Wizard of Oz is on.
Whippersnapper
March 21st, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

True Fable: I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I feel compelled to inform you that the answer to 1-Across in the other day’s NY Times crossword puzzle was “goat.”
LTBF
March 21st, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

We set a wedding date a few onths after we got engaged. (We got engaged on christmas night, set the date sometime in the spring and were married in July).

Anyway, as soon as we set the date, she made a list and immediately named her sister as matron of honor and two of her best friends as bridesmaids. She had been her sister’s maid of honor, but not in either of her friend’s weddings But she harbored no thoughts of revenge in naming them. And she asked each in person or over the phone, although e-mail did not exist in the dark ages when we wed in 1994.
Hawkeye
March 21st, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

173. GotFuzzy: I know she says she’s gonna keep going, which the rerun strips are supposed to help her do, but I’ve been unmotivated before in my life, and man, do these strips look like the work of someone who’s just not motivated anymore.
Not, of course, that that’s ever stopped a newspaper strip before, but hey, it could happen.
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

# 174 Ukelele Ike — Re your GA comment — amen, amen, amen.

Foob — I feel like the wedding ignoramus that I am for asking this, but I somehow thought that bridesmaids and maids of honor were ordinarily unmarried, hence the term “maid.” Not that the answer will change my life at all, but was this ever true? I assume it’s definitely not true now.
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

#200 Whippersnapper – GOAT!! GOAT ANSWER!!!

… but of COURSE goats are the answer. :-)

See, slowly but surely the world is waking up to the wonder and beauty of a really virtuous little goat face. Thanks!
Tess
March 21st, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

From the looks of Liz in that last panel, she’s either been hanging out with Alan and his beatnick friend abusing drugs, or else the old Gil Thorp artist decided to start teaching art classes.
Starrynight
March 21st, 2008 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

#26 Bassogap- Brad’s old crush was his next-door neighbor Diane. She looked a lot like Toni but had a more 80’s hairstyle. I’m assuming she moved away because she hasn’t appeared in the strip since the early 90’s.
NotThatGuy
March 21st, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Hooboy, it looks like the AJGLU 3000 be generatin’ the passion for pickin’ out rings for our loverly couple!

“It has a nice wedding band and a man’s ring to match.”

“They fit perfectly.”

Not only is the excitement palpable (if one happens to be an alien lifeform) but apparently neither Blanthony nor Liz have ever heard that rings can be sized. Or that many wedding sets actually come with a ring for both halves of the couple!
alamo
March 21st, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

gt(md) – i miss the cretin-faced zombies drawn by mclaughlin. these a3g loser look-alikes by bolle are distressing me. he must be hiring some inept underlings as he has done better work than this crap.
Starrynight
March 21st, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

And… I just now read 135 and the great collection from the Chron archives. Sorry for being redundant.
Starrynight
March 21st, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

On the subject of people (or storylines) that have disappeared with no explanation…

Does anyone remember last summer when Charlene, Cathy’s secretary friend, was pregnant and there were all sorts of vomit-inducing strips about Charlene’s impending motherhood? There’s been no baby and Charlene doesn’t even seem to be pregnant any longer. I’m wondering if Guisewite received too much backlash from her long-time readers and dropped that particular story?
Mr. O'Malley
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

201. LTBF. email dates back to 1965.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Email

By 1994 even Windows users were getting email.
LTBF
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:12 am [Reply]

She is shopping for a ring during lunch? At the schools I went to (at least in the ages she seems to teach), the teacher ate lunch with the students. And they got off work around 3:00..when most jewelery stores are still open.

I guess Lynn can’t resist making her look like nothing is more important than their stupid lives.
LTBF
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

211-Well, it didn’t exist at our house.

Guys who are excited about a matching band for them generally don’t buy wedding rings for women.

I can see her showin off the ring.

So Anthony proposed?

No, we just talked about getting married.

Have you set a date?

No, we’re in no rush.

Oh.

I’ve picked my bridesmaids.

They must be excitred.

I don’t know. I haven’t checked my e-mail yet.

Your family must have been thrilled.

They don’t know yet.

Any plans for the ceremony?

I’m wearig my grandmother’s dress.

She must have meant a lot to you.

No. She hated mom and we rarely saw her until she was too old to know who we were.

Was the dress preserved well?

Of course. Its been in a box under my old house for several years.
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 am [Reply]

3/23 Foob — Gack! Agggh! Bleah! AhClem, quick, I need one of your insulin Epi-Pens!
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

# 214 — Sorry, I meant the 3/22 Foob. Though the 3/23 Foob may turn out to have the same effect.
LTBF
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

85-I suppose Candace’s shackup that Liz booted out of the aprtment he was paying rent on so she could live with Eric without sleeping with him could be a groomsman.

My guess is Lynn will draw some fuzzy looking people standing in the background and they won’t say anything.
Mr. O'Malley
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

MT: Is that Fred Basset he’s delivering? Is that really going to cheer the little girl up?

MC: Scarecells—funny.

RMMD: Count Mourgu called on Rex because of a recent Australian study showing that health care workers carry MRSA on nametags and wedding rings. Rex was the only MD he could think of that hasn’t worn either for years.

ZtP: A little comics snark here, but he isn’t taking Aunt Fritzi into account.

FOOB: Oh what a lucky thing they didn’t have to get the rings resized!
kippetje2000
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Don’t know if anyone mentioned, don’t know if anyone noticed: Day 49. Houston Cron. ceased it’s announcement that They’ll Do It Every Time ended on Feb. 2. The American natives believed, I believe, that the spirit lived on for as long as the vibrations of the deeds of the departed were still felt in this life. I guess it’s up to the ‘Mudges to keep the Scaduto ghost alive.
Mibbitmaker
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

3/22:

RMMD: Just as Rex got the news about the MRSA cases, an atomic explosion went off. It is now supposed that terrorists were behind both occurences, sources say (like the new story’s going to be that exciting or something)

MW: First, the story would never get started. Then the story finally got started, but it was still like the story wouldn’t get started. Now the story stops again, waiting to resume… and the story WON’T GET STARTED!!! It is now supposed that terrorists were behind all 3 occurences, sources say.

MT: …. until the puppy’s put onto the bed, then bites her face off.

MF: Honestly, Mallard! Insulting a man so soon after he died! For shame!

GF: That settles it: Darby Conley must read this blog!
True Fable
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:15 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) No, Cathy; when you gain weight it’s because you pat yourself on the back for turning down a crumb and then excuse yourself because you’re “honest” about cramming everything in the pantry into your open mouth. That’s not a diet. That’s gluttony.
DtM When we last left Rex and Niki….
FC So… Australia is toast?
FBoFW Yeah, because the last ones melted off your finger because you were in heat over Liz, you JACKASS.
FW Ewww. Daddy’s going to spy on Summer’s love life by constantly refilling her glass and leaning to listen in from the booth next to hers. Gah.
GA Even at the Westminster Kennel Show, a dog is still a dog, Sturdy. And You, sir, are a DOG.
GT Today’s guest star in panel three: Olympia Dukakis! “Oh Weeza, you know Ah love you more’n mah luggage.”
JP Okay, we need to stop watching the De-evolution of Elvira and get back to barely reined in Sweaterpuppies and Daisy Dukes on Abbey.
MT “It has terribly affected her.” Who talks like this?!
MW And now Mary is about to get around to why she has an ego the size of Montana.
RMMD As I suspected, Rex practices medicine only when he’s FORCED into it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

3/22

MT: This family’s life is depressing as a Bergman film, and Mark is not fluent in Swedish.

FW: Oh, nothing creepy about that smirk, Dad.

A3G: A little birdie told Margo that Alan had a little extra crank on hand, and now she’s gotta call and find out.

GT: Social services have sent Barbara Walters to find out what kind of twee Andwew’s bwuthah and sistah would be.

Marvin: Meanwhile, Marvin agonizes over which thumb to stick in his ass.

DtM: Dennis’ stock rises as he menaces his father’s self-esteem.

Cathy: Irving totally isn’t listening. In fact he’s probably got some Maiden cranked up on his iPod.

RMMD: Can Rex wiggle out of this assignment without revealing that he’s not a real doctor? Stay tuned.

FC: Bill and Thel are letting their kids wander unsupervised through the dated religious fanatic ghetto. No mystery as to what they hope will happen.
Mibbitmaker
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

More 3/22:

Monty: Well, Monty, what if you get an itch on your back?

RiR: I‘d’ve gone over there for the lasagna.

FOOB: I really really really hate to say this (really!), but I already miss evil revenge-face Liz.

A3G: Even her cell phone hates Margo: it’s saying goodbye over and over, hoping she’d leave.

GT: Things are really going badly on the basketball court when Z-Train suddenly goes into his immitation of Mark Blankfield’s druggy druggist character from “Fridays”. Meanwhile… Hey! That’s not “Jan Keane”, it’s Barbara Walters doing an expose on the situation! …Either that, or Ruby from A3G.
kippetje2000
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:26 am [Reply]

True Fable: I thought it was Janet Reno in Gil Thorp today. http://www.law.stetson.edu/Communications/releaseimages/Janet_Reno-us-Portrait.jpg
kippetje2000
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:27 am [Reply]

I mean she has come to take the kids away, hasn’t she?
True Fable
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

#223 kippetje2000 – AAUGH! XD One man’s Steel Magnolia is another man’s Steel Jawbone, it seems!
minor flood
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:15 am [Reply]

3G:
How in the hell can you tell if someone’s happy in this strip? Everyone’s always smiling!
Justafoob
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:19 am [Reply]

Plus, they both have secret decoder functions, so we can send secret messages to one another in math class.
Jack Parsons
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

5: Giant Dog filled out his frame with some body parts from a christian single. C’mon, if it’s a he there are some body parts we have never seen.
Arglebargle
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:42 am [Reply]

Doonesbury: “Sooner than you deserve?” Man, I wouldn’t blame B.D. one bit for wiping out the entire house right now. I like the strip, but Trudeau’s male “family” characters (Mike, constantly pwned by his wife, daughter, and mother, and now B.D.) are doormats.

RMMD: Apparently, “MSRA-related death here” is the magic phrase that endows Rex with the powers of seven great figures of history! Shazam! And that last panel is such a cliché I think Satchel in Get Fuzzy hits it right on the ampersand percentage dollar sign interrobang head.
Mr. O'Malley
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:57 am [Reply]

228. Are you referring to this big dog? It’s impressive, but not quite in the same way as the Christian Singles girl.

218. kippetje2000. I’ve read that the ancient Slavs had the same belief. And the Irish believe that if a day goes by on which no one mentions the name of Finn MacCool, the world will come to an end.

I’m still far from having covered the totality of the archives, so Al Scaduto’s spirit is still resonating with me. And if someone would post them, I wouldn’t mind giving Jimmy Hatlo’s spirit a boost as well.
Mr. O'Malley
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 am [Reply]

Example.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:26 am [Reply]

Cathy: Ha ha, Irving just stands there in stunned silence while Cathy soliloquizes about body fat. It must be sheer heaven to cohabit with the gabblin’ finger pointin’ one.

Actually, in panel 1, Irving looks like he’s got a really tight eye job. Which, considering the ages and inexplicable vanity of the characters, actually makes sense.
kippetje2000
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:21 am [Reply]

Mr. O’Malley; I tried to link to your example (#231)
I come to a comic strip called Missing Name. It’s seems a bit familiar….

Hey, everyone Love is… fighting tooth and nail (in the nude) to get him something he never wears (clothes). The petite morte expression she has makes me flush a bit, though.
Wanders
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:25 am [Reply]

Saturday’s MW: I love that in the first panel, Mary is shaking Toby awake. Toby even has her hand in the classic “hold up your chin so your head doesn’t droop” position.
Patrick
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:29 am [Reply]

I’m now on the FOOB diet plan. If I want to kill my appetite and lose a few pounds, all I have to do is read today’s FOOB. Or any other for that matter.
Weaselboy
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

Luann, 3/22: Skip panels one and three. Saves time and is a whole lot more entertaining.
Dr. Mabuse
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:08 am [Reply]

FBOFW – And the rings fit! They must be figuring they can save money by buying a floor model.
And The
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

DT: So Tracy’s plan is to distract the supervillain with a rare piece of art that Mr. Lector just can’t resist? Silly Dick, don’t you know that plan only works with Hostess Fruit Pies? I suppose a bowl of Trix might work just as well.

Panel two is quite precious. I don’t think Dick could look any more ridiculously posed unless he actually was waving a miniature American flag.

GA: OK, somebody better step back from the hand smooching or I see farm equipment being misused on this dope’s pompous arse.

A-3G: Please let this tootling portend a new Margo centered plot.

Blondie: Why do the Bumsteads allow Elmo to visit at all again? They should use this threat as an excuse to cut all ties to that little jerk.

Crankshaft: Those two hapless dopes are having another horrible elder relative foisted upon them? I’d start looking into fake passports and flights to South America if I were those two. Batiuk’s general hatred of humanity is definitely focused upon them.

FW: If Funky and Les think this is a good idea, they deserve every iota of agony they’re going to get.

JP: I think Biff’s got his murder-suicide pact all worked out if Johnny Law comes a callin’.

MT: Yes, Mark, a puppy will fix up that broken home, toot sweet!

MW: Well, this storyline has certainly changed my perspective. Now I hate Mary Worth in the past as well as the present!

Phantom: Golly, your fun loving romp into the wacky field of gun running has gone astray? Bet you wish you had brought more than a handgun and a yardstick to this party.

Popeye: That’s what this storyline needed to put it over the top: a crossdressing hag. I wonder if Madam can be brought in to portray the central role.

RMMD: I love Rex’s response to a call to action against a lethal outbreak of sickness: “Well, Andy, I…uh…” He knows that he couldn’t treat a scraped knee, let alone MRSA. Yeah, Rex, you would have taken down that gun toting thug just great, you tower of Jello.

S-M: So we’re reduced to watching the supervillain watch the superhero nearly fall into his deathtrap? It may be hackneyed and cliche, but it’s better than watching JJJ almost figure out Peter’s secret ID another dozen times, I suppose.
And The
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

#238: Sorry for the final unclosed bold tag. Mea culpa.
gleeb
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

A3G: I’d like to think that Margo’s ringtone is actually a brief recording of someone saying “tootle tootle tootle”. It would explain her bemused look better than the coincidence of it ringing just as she talks about waiting for it to ring.

Agnes: Agnes IS the young Rossy de Palma.

Bizarro: Does Pirrarro think Mel Ott and Satchel Paige had access to the stuff?

Dick: “Lives are at stake.” So, does this mean you’re going to be careful or not?

‘bean: You’ll see more of her there, Creepy Les, because everyone comes to Montoni’s…if they know what’s good for them.

Mark: Sorry your daddy went a way. Here, have a puppy.

Phantom: First, there’s the issue of safety. Are there never innocent stevedores down on the docks? Then, how does Officer Hana hope to hit anything like that?

Preteena/Real Life Adventures: Is it Alternate Units Day again already? It always sneaks up on me.

Rex: Our Hero is recruited by the mysterious Count Morgu. Well, that makes more sense than “Rex is afraid of MRSA”.

Zippy: Glass houses, Griffith.
dimestore lipstick
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Wondercat
As an Iowa native, I’m coming down on the side of good old, Iowa-style deadpan sarcasm. Never underestimate the power of the Great American Snark, grown in the heartland. And now it’s been unleashed on Canada. Yessss!
Patrick
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

Gasoline Alley This whole storyline is starting to remind me of the Tom Hanks version of The Lady Killers. Could it be he’s in cahoots with a band of ne’er do wells tunneling from someone’s basement into a bank vault somewhere?

Doonesbury Ouch! That hurt. Both yesterday and today. I really like the way the B.D. character has grown over the last two or three years. I hate to see him get treated this way.

Get Fuzzy Hmm…today’s strip makes me wonder if the writer for that strip is reading CC. 1954 indeed!

Crankshaft This story line makes FW look almost cheerful by comparison.

A3G Margo is reminding me of that song by Voltaire, “it’s lonely when you’re evil!” She’s probably about to knock back a glass of Instant Karma (just add water and scotch on the rocks) So by all means, answer the phone!

Mary UnWorthy To the person who now realises he hates Mary Worth in the Past as well as the Present you get my vote for COTW. For those who feel the need to fake a headache, make your symptoms appear incredibly real, read the Mary Worth slow-mo-back. If you don’t have a headache for real, you are going to certainly seem that way from the look on your face.

Zits I used to like this strip, but the last three days have put me into full blown hatred of it. Zits has now entered the FOOB Zone.

Garfield Yesterday’s Garfield has also entered the FOOB Zone. Glurb, snorp, smack, slurb, eat!
John C Fremont
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

A3G – How clever of Margo to have a phone that reminds her to never get off the tracks.

RMMD – I’m really enjoying the artwork today, especially exploding Rex. And that is NOT Count Morgu, by the way. That’s Alfred Hitchcock as Count Morgu. Always stay for the closing credits. It could save your life one day.
John C Fremont
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

MT – Yup, nothing cures soul-crushing depression like a puppy. Side effects can include pooping, vomiting, destruction of Mary Worthian clothing, fleas, constant barking, refusal to eat that brand of dog food, and soul-crushing depression when the dog gets old and has to be “put down” Old Yeller style. But what cures that depression? Another puppy! Repeat as necessary.

MW – “Someone once said, ‘Love lift us up where we belong.’ That same someone also did a killer cover of ‘Feeling Alright.’ Toby, have I ever told you about Woodstock? My best advice to you is don’t eat the brown acid. And watch out for levitating donuts!”

(Yes, Zippy the Pinhead IS Mary Worth. But don’t tell Claude.)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

9CL: Brooke’s been portraying Dr. Burber as an unrepentant bitch on heels for too long for me to buy that Stan Laurel is her mental image of herself. Now, Thorax as Ollie Hardy, that I believe.

A3G: That’s not Margo’s ring tone; she’s spending a little “me time” playing Tetris. Sad thing is, it’s still more exciting than anything Tommie or LuAnn are doing at the moment.

Cathy: This strip shows why the name wasn’t changed to “Cathy and Irving” when they got married. Irving’s role in this strip could be played just as well by a cat or house plant.

FC: You would think that of all the characters on the comics page, Billy and Dolly would be the ones most likely to recognize Jesus, the Son of God. At least they’ve found a non-threatening adult to hang around since their parents pushed them out of the car on Skid Row and screeched away. I’d really like to see a week’s worth of panels where Billy and Dolly try to carry on as normal while they scrape out a living on the mean streets. “I guess this is what they call ‘take-out’ food… ’cause we’re takin’ it out of the restaurant dumpster!” “Who ate the last of the rat? – Not me!” “Would you like flies with that?” And so on.

GA: It’s clear: Sturdy’s a tit man.

(A3)GT: Someone tell Andrew it’s swimmers who are supposed to shave off all their body hair, not basketball players. No, on second thought, I don’t think he could take the humiliation in his fragile mental state.

H&J: When the action being discussed is visible only in silhouette in the background of one panel, I don’t think that’s good enough to qualify as “show, don’t tell.” Couldn’t the strip have worked if similar lines were given to the actual participants, instead of this Geek chorus?

JP: In tonight’s performance, the role of Elvira Dickens will be played by the ghost of William Howard Taft.

Big Dog: I wouldn’t sit so close to the awake end if I were you, little clown girl.

MG&G: Um, Lassie was a he.

Phantom: Why is it the waitress seems to know more about how to handle a gun than the lady cop? Firing a gun that way is a good way to snap your wrist. Hey, Officer Hana, lower your hand about a foot!

RMMD: “B-but… I… I don’t have a license! They took it away on that morals charge!”

SFx: Is this a tribute to B.C.?

S-M: Um… only if he’s grounded, Krandy.
firegoat
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

FOOB: There is only one way this hot mess could be salvaged by Lynn, but I have no hopes of seeing her have the guts to do it.

In my dreams of the strip returning to reality like circa 15 years ago, Lizardbreath will tell Anthony that she’s already told her bridesmaids how she will get them back…. only to be told by Anthony (who grew one 1/2 testicle) that he didn’t feel it was appropriate for him to have a big wedding since he was already married, or ask people to give him wedding gifts again…. so we’ll just have a civil service at the courthouse Liz. Is that a problem?
Kiesha
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

“Okay, Liz, you’ve got 45 minutes to look through this one jewelry shop and find a ring. Oh, and it has to have a matching wedding band and man’s ring. Go!”

Re 73 Girl Reporter: I try not to look through bridal magazines that much. Those women have sour expressions because they are trying to convey to future brides “DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT BUYING THIS HIDEOUSLY UGLY DRESS.” The plus size girls are smiling because they are trying to convey “THIS DRESS ONLY COST $300.”

Re 88 Al: My fiance and I are currently involved in Operation Cheap Ass Wedding. So far we seem to be winning. It helps when you buy a bridesmaid’s dress in white rather than a bridal gown, and find the cheapest caterer in town and get the buffet option.
Our guests can get up and get their own damn food.
Weaselboy
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

FOOB, panel four: “Talk to the hand!”

FOOB, panel four: “Does this look infected to you?”

FOOB, panel four: “Did you ever really look at your hand? I mean REALLY look at it, man?”

FOOB, panel four: “Stop! In the name of love!”
The Sparrow
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

What’s up with all the Apocalyptic signage today? The other comics must have gotten wind of Lizanthony’s unholy union.

Dilbert:: I shouldn’t have to read the phrase, “slapped off your dried-up head” ever again. Not unless someone wanted me to snicker at some disturbing, though admittedly hilarious, double-meaning.

Get Fuzzy: Well said, Satchel.

Apropos of nothing, the two Simpsons episodes they played yesterday mentioned, in separate shows, Funky Winkerbean and the Family Circus. Now I know I’m obsessed with this blog because it was the first thing I thought of upon hearing those references. Somebody help me.
Kurdt
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Okay, today’s Mary Worth is totally about masturbation. Mary discovered that touching herself felt good and she discovered it last week…
migellito
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

re-imagining marmaduke that way actually makes it palatable!

well… no, not really.
anonymous
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

#203 – I suppose that’s true if you live in Happyville and keep in close contact with all your good pals you went to school with, have lots of youngish offspring of relatives, and/or lots of single friends. Sometimes, you just have to make do with whatever female acquaintances you have! If they aren’t single, well, if you want to have bridesmaids and you don’t have a cute bunch of singletons all lined up, what are you gonna do? I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was to scrape up a female sponsor for my daughter’s christening. All I knew were atheists or relatives/friends of other religions. I snuck in a close female friend who not only wasn’t Catholic but had never been baptized and had hardly ever been in a church. The church didn’t get struck by lightning while this farce went on, though.
Ribinin
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

#245 SSB – Perhaps all the jungle underwear is in the wash today.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-Hater
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

FOOB: “That’s right dudes….it’s payback time!”

This is actully Lynn speaking to all us Lizthony-detractors here……
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

# 241 dimestore lipstick — As an Iowan, I thank you for pointing out that some of us are indeed sarcastic. We’re not necessarily the Iowans held up by Iowa economic boosters as examples of Why Iowa is A Wonderful Place To Raise A Family, but we’re here. And Lana, if you were indeed being sarcastic and you read this, please reveal yourself and take a bow.
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

# 252 anonymous — I truly didn’t know what the custom was, so thanks for enlightening me. I’m of the ilk that says if it’s your ceremony and you’re paying and arranging, you should be able to do whatever you want, as long as the guests consent and you have liability insurance:-). As for the christening, it seems to me that a close friendship is valuable and wonderful and a cosmic blessing to your daughter, regardless of religious affiliation.
Brick Bradford
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

As an ex-Iowan and current Nebraskan I must say that we raise some fine sarcasm here in the Corn Belt. Hey, we’re nice but we have a Snark Side.
beergoggles
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

FW – Well, nothing says ‘swinging teen place’ like a pizza parlor owned by a self-made bastard and managed by the teacher with a bug up his ass. I can see Funky throttling Les as the kids flee to another hipper spot, say like joining 100% Certified Christian Singles for all the good places in town.

RMMD – well today answers my questions. Medical examiner Andy figures that Rex must have lots of time on his hands since he has so few patients, freeing him to join a anti-MSRA task force. Wait until he finds out that all Rex knows about this plague is from reading his waiting room’s Time magazine.
commodorejohn
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

9CL – It’s not especially funny or anything, but I do like to see some love given to Laurel and Hardy.

Crankshaft – It’s like the guy’s trying to be the kind of dick his father-in-law is, but he aims too small and comes off as just petty and mean. Little jabs aren’t enough if you wanna run with the ‘Shaft, boy. You’ve got to be a colossal prick.

FC – I laughed, but that’s mostly because I really despise apocalypse nuts.

FOOB – AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

FW – Oh, it’s so sweet how he stalks his daughter! I’m sure he only has that shower-cam set up because he’s concerned about her!

GA – I think his head is actually a bean.

GT – Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright!

Love Is… – …attempting to yank the pants off a hunky salesman.

MT – Well, fear not, lady! Mark knows how to use animals to bring a marriage back together!

Popeye – Popeye is very “touchy” about “hanky-panky.” Hey, I don’t write this stuff.

RMMD – Unsurprisingly, Rex is terrified by the notion of actually having to, like, touch sick people, ew.
Little Guy
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

FOOB: “(Wedding bands) are made to last”, said the divorced man who stalked his former girlfriend while married.

And Lynn, I have some fresh American barf to send to Corbeil.

MT: I saw this plot in a Three Stooges short. Now Mark will look for a bald guy whose 5-foot-10 in his stocking feet with a tattoo on his arm who cal yodel.
LTBF
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Jumpstart…Marcy and the doctor/patient only have four fingers on each hand. I would not want either of them near me in an operating room.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Yay @ today’s Get Fuzzy!
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Late to the Saturday party:

FOOB: maybe there’s some even cheaper “scratch ‘n’ dent” models.
Die.

GT: Jan KEANE?! Oh, god, she’s Big Daddy’s aunt! She’s going to put Andrew’s kid siblings into foster care — with the melonheads! Quick, Andrew! Set the house on fire…it’s the only merciful thing to do!

FW: good news for Summer. While Daddy’s slaving away at a hot pizza oven for Taskmaster Funky for hours on end, you have the whole house to get down and dirty in! Great idea, Les.

JP: a moonlit night…conspiring inside a little house. I almost wish Lee the Felon were sneaking up on it right now…

MT: I think Madeline is going to grow up to be Mary Worth. No wonder Chester evoked such strong urges in Mary…

MW: speaking of urges, I won’t be satisfied until Mary’s “It raised me up, made me feel differently about myself.” commentary is prelude to a memory in which a sailor has her up again a brick wall in a dark alley (or an empty cupboard).
We might not want to see it, but it would be perversely satisfying.
OverCat
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Poteet @ 258: I got an extra laugh because I first looked back at 252, which is the post number you gave, and it adds a whole new meaning to your comment. (you apparently meant 254.)

Gives it a nice formality to think of it as a “ceremony”, and how thoughtful to be sure your guests approve!

I always like your posts, and this proves you are funny even when you don’t mean to be!
OverCat
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

MW: “As I said before” – gah, even Mary knows she’s dragging this out beyond all reason. We may be treated to another week of strips that all begin “As I said before…”
commodorejohn
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

#265 Anonymous re: FW – Eh, you’re assuming that, as weekend manager, Les will be doing any work. While this would certainly be true with a good manager, I have a feeling Les would be a manager like the second of three guys I was under when I worked at the local grocery store. He seemed amiable enough until you realized that he never did anything besides talk with the customers and tell you that you should be working harder. My first manager worked his ass off every single day, and even my third manager did his fair share of work, but the most work I ever saw Manager Number Two doing was carry a couple small boxes a few hundred feet. I think Les will be like that, probably using his “old friend” status with Funky to get away with it. Bastard. He deserves whatever house-trashing Summer does.
Girl Reporter
March 22nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Mountain Mama: Sure, sure, sure, biker bars are scary. But try a biker wake! Luckily most of the attendees were a good 25-30 years past their felony heydays and only eminences very bushy gris when I had the opportunity to walk past and through them into the funeral home. I still wonder what the family and friends of the guest of honor in the next parlor over thought of the company?
kingklash
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

MW: to restate my earlier comments on my childhood….
cheech wizard
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Blondie Sunday preview – Dagwood introduces applicances to the marital boudoir – answering he question of why he can keep someone as hot as Blondie. We’ve waited 80 years for this.
cheech wizard
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

FW – Wes is supposed to break in as a weekend manager? That ain’t the way the pizza business works, as I’m sure many here can attest. You start by making deliveries and learn the business from there. But that’s ok – I’m sure his student-customers will be very understanding and tolerant.
Mooncattie
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

MW – By this point poor Toby is pinching her face to stay awake. “She’s never talked about her childhood before! There’s got to be some juicy stuff to tell Ian tonight in bed! Must…stay…awake….Ian…in bed….zzzzzzzz”

MT – “Don’t worry, ma’am…I know how to get a kid out of bed in short order. This always works on Rusty! SNUFFLES!! ATTACK!!“

RMMD – “Well, Andy, I…uh…I’ve never actually done any work! It’s mostly golf and getting a gun pointed at me, is what I’m saying!”
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I’m getting excited…can a plot be far away?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2352845488/
bats :[
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

265., 274.: it’s me.
(Note to self: kill Mr. bats :[ for dinking around on my computer and losing all the settings…)
cheech wizard
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

FOOB – So now we can look forward to six months of a mewling, bloodless betrothal. I’m hoping this will somehow conclude with a wedding night in which Anthony hurls her to the mattress, rips open his shirt and bellows “NOW YOU VILL GIF ME SONS!” But I’m not optimistic.
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

# 266 OverCat — Oops. BWAHAHA! Thank you for your generous evaluation of my wide-ranging mind, which is apparently too busy with cosmic thoughts to deal with minor details like getting numbers right. And you are right about MW. The sad part is that in terms of probable payoff, this waiting is the equivalent of standing in line in the ladies’ room.
warren x. copterpilot
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

Over heard behind the counter at Rings ‘n Dings Discount Jewelry

“So you won the Cadillac, eh? Didn’t think anyone was going to unload that wedding set in time.”

“Well, I had help. My wife’s brother was the mortician that did the business for the Johnson couple.”

“What a mess that must’ve been. I saw it on the news as it was happening, don’t ja know?
Sad, when you think about it, on their way from the church to the reception and all, hittin’ that hydro truck head on. Lucky, though, what with you’re brother-in–law, eh.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Luck was in them not having had those rings engraved before the wedding. That and a bit of elbow grease to clean off the grubby stuff. But you want to know what it takes to sell gold jewelry? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell gold jewelry. A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention – Do I have their attention? Interest – Are they interested? I know they are, because it’s foob or walk. You close or you hit the bricks.”

“Still, none of the rest of us thought those rings could ever be resold, might’ve as well chucked them in the garburator.”

“A-I-D-A. Get out there – you got the prospects coming in. You think the came in to get out of the rain? A guy don’t walk in the place lest he wants to buy. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? Sitting on top of the world. Sitting on top of the world, everything’s foobin’ peach fuzz.”

“Well, I still got a chance at second prize. Runner up gets a two-four of amber. I’ve got some new leads from a pawnshop down the street, but keep that under your toque eh?”

“”I know what you’re thinking, and I’ll tell ya, there ain’t no room for morals in this business, boy. Not this far north. So maybe I wasn’t completely straight with these two about the rings’ past, but you know, it’s not my place to rain on some else’s parade. It’s just not in my nature. Those kids are gonna have a nice life together. Who am I to start ‘em off with a ghost story? And besides, if something should happen, I might be able to sell them rings again. Now, go get me a cup of coffee.”

“Can I get one for myself?”

“No, boy. Coffee’s for closers.”
Farley's Revenge
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

<b<FOOB: So Elizabeth can’t make up her mind about a ring. So Anthony “offers” to show her what he likes and…IT’S A MIRACLE! Elizabeth just loves Anthony’s choice. I can almost hear the violins swelling with mushy romanticism as the two twits stare into each other’s eyes as though they’re attempting to see any active brain function occuring.

Gah. This story line could be used as a weight loss aid because there’s no way in hell anyone could eat after reading this dreck.
Farley's Revenge
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Preview. It’s a GOOD thing.
TheDiva
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

279: I took it as Liz practicing for when she must submit herself entirely to her husband as ordained by God Almighty. :-P
Harold
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

So Jesus is telling the Family Circus kids that the world will end on Easter? Bummer.

This is such a weird variation on the FC theme – how many other times has it focused primarily on a non-family character? And the sign…the sign…I think Jeff and Bil Keane are giving the “GO” signal for a terrorist attack.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

Sunday SFx

1) The eight-sea creature orgy in panel one will come to an abrupt end when the jellyfish gets a little too grope-y.
2) The female octopus in panel two has opened an underwater beauty salon, because if reading Apt. 3-G has taught her one thing, it’s that wearing ridiculous hair bows qualifies you for that kind of work.
3) The heart-shaped growths on the male octopus in panel one are actually a mutant variety of barnacle.
4) If Dr. Seuss had known what a voyeuristic pervert the blue fish in panel two was, he never would have featured him on the cover of one of his books.
5) The orange fish in panel one will be caught next week using a lure in the shape of a purple insect wearing blue boots and orange gloves.
6) The crab, clam and octopi in panel two are about to be swallowed up by a spontaneously occurring black hole.

This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by the Bass Pro Shop.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

Tuesday SFx

1) In panel one, the boy’s mother has lectured him three times this week about playing pocket pool in public.
2) As much as she tries to deny it, the boy in panel two will know the little girl has licked his peanut butter ice cream when her peanut allergy causes her to break out in a rash. And when he experiences an outbreak of COOTIES.
3) The large circular growth on the back of the little girl’s head in panel one is cancerous.
4) In panel two, the cat’s girlfriend really wishes he would do something about his terrible five o’clock shadow.
5) The trash can in panel one was manufactured by Salvadore Dali Waste Containers, Inc.
6) The seven-board fence in panel two encloses the smallest back yard in America.

This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by Salvadore Dali Clockworks, Inc.
bees on pie
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

Marvin: You see, it’s funny because it’s election season! Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s so fresh and topical! I can’t wait for Monday’s strip, when Marvin’s at a playgroup and smirkily comments on how the girls always have to go potty together. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Baka Gaijin
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

#249 Kiesha: Here are 10 tips for a cheap-ass wedding:

1. Forget the caterer. Set the can of Nabisco spray cheese next to a box of Ritz crackers. Remember, right outside the bathroom is a Coke machine for thirsty guests.

2. Perfectly acceptable bouquets are just lying around at the local cemetary. After all, exactly who’s gonna tell, huh?

3. Rubber bands tied together make a great garter. You can save time by doing this while you’re on the phone with the caterer, cancelling the reservation.

4. Festive centerpieces are only a box or two of tissue away. What a festive arts-and-crafts activity for the Sunday School kids!

5. Save money on tuxedos for your groomsmen. Those tuxedo t-shirts are much less expsensive than rental tuxedos.

6. Wedding cake? Kroger has just what you need. Those display models–they don’t have barcodes or calories, perfect for those bridesmaids with “figure issues.”

7. How could we forget the entertainment? Yup, the Sunday School class probably has a wonderful kazoo band.

8. Churches can be so expensive to rent. Your local Ethan Allen has plenty of comfy chairs!

9. Limousines, too, are expensive. Ambulances are just 3 digits away.

10. Of course, you’ll have to spend money on rice. A dime. For a Ziplock bag in your purse. Shovel it full of rice from the $5.99 lunch at the Lucky Start Chinese buffet that you’re already going to eat anyways. Helpful hint: not the fried rice.

[tongue in cheek]
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

Thursday SFx

1) The vampire bat in panel one has just feasted on the blood of the sleeping horse, as is its wont. The vampire bat in panel two, however, has diverged from its common sources of nutrition, sucking the blood of the mouse and turning it into a pale, lifeless zombie, its arms outstretched in search of brains.
2) I’ve already explained the mouse in panel two, but in panel one, it’s an albino mouse doing late-night yoga. (I’m going with albino, because even though white mice are common, it’s the first I’ve seen one in a Bob Weber cartoon.)
3) The snake in panel one is embarrassed that the bat has bigger fangs than it does.
4) The cat in panel two ate the fish alive, which explains the shocked look on the skeleton’s face.
5) The owl in panel one is really annoyed that he can’t get to sleep. He has a big trial to hear tomorrow.
6) If you put the cat in panel one in a box, it will enter a state in which it is simultaneously awake and asleep until you open the box and observe it. If you put the cat in panel two in a box, it will complain that it hates Mondays.

This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by Title Nine, which offers some really nice yoga wear for rodents.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

264 Howabominable — Yes! Get Fuzzy made me laugh so hard. And I laughed again when I saw that on my Chron page, Gil Thorp is directly underneath it.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 22nd, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

#244 Patrick— I think today’s Garfield is a Jim Davis salute to Lynn Johnston in recognition of her creativity in portraying the Pattersons’ unique style of eating.

#242 gleeb— I think that ringtones in the comics can be a new source of snarks. We know that Luann DeGroot’s is “Doodle Deedle Deedle”, and that Margo’s is “Tootle Tootle Tootle”. How about “Mudges coming up with some appropriate ringtones for other comics characters? A few examples come to immediately to mind:
Mary Worth: “Meddle Meddle Meddle”
Spider-Man: “Feeble Feeble Feeble”
Elly Patterson: “Waddle Waddle Waddle”
Sam Driver: “Limper Limper Limper”
OK, I’ve picked the low-hanging fruit. C’mon ‘Mudges, show your creativity!
Uncle Lumpy
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Anthony Caine: “Wheedle wheedle wheedle”
Dick Tracy: “Addle addle addle”
Spider-Man: “Idle idle idle”
BigTed
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Saturday’s “Family Circus”: http://www.arcamax.com/pic/49755/135360

The concept of a bearded hippie holding a sign that says “The world will end tomorrow” seems like a gag more befitting, say, the year 1967. Today, it just looks as if the kids have been left alone to fend for themselves on an urban street, where they’re hanging out with a homeless guy wearing nothing but a bathrobe.
Whippersnapper
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

206 True Fable: Thanks for the goat pic! Is it true that goats are the answer to all society’s ills? Could a goat stop Lynn Johnston? I feel myself being converted…
Patrick
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

For those of us who hate Cathy, take comfort that Frank Cho apparently does as well. Start with the 029.jpg and you’ll see what I mean!

http://www.libertymeadows.com/uncengal/index.htm
Talking Squirrel
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Mark Trail must have planted those rings in the store. How otherwise to explain the stunning coincidence that they both fit perfectly.

I look forward with great anticipation to hearing Liz pronounce her wedding vow in perfect Micmacmukluk:

“I HOO!!!”
Texas Nick USN
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

#278 warren x. – niiiiice… Glengarry Glen Foob
Mibbitmaker
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Doonesbury: Next daily, picking up where today’s left off:
[p1] BD: “Yeah?! Well, let’s see you two spend time in Iraq for a while, then you can talk!”
[p2] BD: “Yeah, ladies, let’s see you after serving time there!!”
[p3 -- silent penultimate panel]
[p4] BD: “….. pre-Surge!!”

9CL: That’s a rotten thing to do to good ol’ Oliver Hardy!

GT: Gil: “Hey, Andrew! No washing your hair on court in the middle of a game!”
IdleDandy
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Sunday FC:

First we have the pun which constitutes the “joke.” This strip is the flip side of Luann’s recent Tony/Toni debacle. Here we see that Grandma has said “wane,” but Dolly has heard “wain,” which not only spoils the joke, but also makes one wonder if Grandma Keane regularly speaks with a lisp. This has some potential to make future strips funnier.

However, the strip also raises more disturbing questions. Grandma has just now noticed the waning moon, even though at this point it’s a waning crescent. Therefore it has been waning for over a week, and Gran has just now realized it. Methinks Gran has begun to lose it.

Far scarier, though, is Gran’s dismay at the waning moon. “Oh dear,” she exclaims. Why exactly is the natural cycle of the moon suddenly such cause for despair? Perhaps Gran realizes that she, like the moon, is fading away. You might think this would mean a welcome release from the eternally infantile child-beasts and their wane/rain witticisms, until you realize this is the FC universe. Death merely means you become a colorless ghost character, summoned from the cloud world a few times a year to stand silently in some treacly family tableau.

Happy Easter, everybody!
Rudy the Ape
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Perhaps I’m too fixated on the Hitler thing, but perhaps Marmaduke’s Adolf owner and the big mutt are into the stormtrooper leather-thing wish leashes. Naaaaah, that’s giving the artist to much creative credit.
Whippersnapper
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

DT: I only just discovered that everyone is being held hostage by Colonel Sanders! This is what I get for failing to read this comics until late in the day!
T Campbell
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

I’ll say it: I actually liked this For Better or Worse, better than I have in quite a while. It has wit, sass and a solid grasp of human nature, three qualities that haven’t really been part of the strip in ages.
Messy
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

GA: I find that the intellectual fiancee is a racist stereotype. I’m pretty sure Amanda Lynn is smart enough to know who this guy is and very much wants to run away with him.

The last time Scancarelli did anything good (besides the old cartoon character home, which he botched the ending), was having Amanda Lynn’s aunt Eve being a biker chick.

Other than that, it hasn’t been the same since Dik Moores retired.

(Where’s Polly and Her Pals now that you need them?)
Little Guy
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

#222 – True Fable (GA): Okay, Lynn. We get it. Anthony is the ONE and ONLY bestest fiance for women, and the Golden Vagina has him. You don’t have to get other strips to trash THEIR suitors.
Poteet
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

As an antidote to Foobery, I was able to catch a little of Anne Baxter as Queen Nefretiri in THE TEN COMMANDMENTS tonight. What a classic. No one will ever declaim “Moses, Moses!” like she did.
LTBF
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

Sunday, we’ll find out why Liz will get blank stares from the minister.when she gets to the alter.
bats :[
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Happy (and HoPpY) Easter! Let’s see if the Easter Bunny left us chocolate eggs, or just rabbit raisins…

A3G: oooooh, Margo, you do have a way with men. Which probably explains why Eric is on the opposite side of the globe.
It’s also nice to see Alan butching up and tossing out his stash of fingernail polish.

FC: I’m stunned. Not a dopey Easter-themed strip in sight! No urchins with chocolate-smeared mouths! No disheveled Easter finery and fidgeting in the church pew! No fights over who got the biggest Easter basket!
It is truly a miracle!

MT: the world’s going to have one less naturalist if Mark doesn’t stop waxing eloquent with a Florida panther within pouncing range…

MW: poor Mary! It’s suddenly so much more evident that she did come from a broken home…and only in a matter of days! We’re also back to “how the hell old is Mary?”, with adults in very contemporary garb.

FOOB: sanctimonious little twit…

And this one’s for Poteet:
“Moses! Moses!”
mumbles
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

JP: In today’s strip there is a reference to “yesterday’s” plane buzzing of the horses. As a point of reference, the plane incident first appeared in this strip in late-November:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20071123&name=Judge_Parker

Perhaps this is meant to balance out FOOB’s time tricks, by which Francie will be espousing her take on “Being and Nothingness” at her father’s wedding reception.
BenG
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Sunday’s FW: Our introduction in to the sexless version of grumpy old men.
marlys
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

This Sunday, RMMD=Phantom:
“You’re the County Health Man!” is unusually Phantom-esque lingo if you ask me.
Mr. O'Malley
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:39 am [Reply]

FC: Why is Grandma getting so upset that the moon is waning? She won’t be able to watch the fairies dancing until next month? Bil will stop turning into a werewolf? Now if Dolly had said “Verily, foremother, the moon travelleth not in a wain but a silver chariot”, we might have some reading material there.

JP: Compare the moon in yesterday’s strip and today. It’s a setting full moon. So Biff and Elvira are plotting over coffee at 2 AM and Sam and Abby are sitting on the porch having a drink at around 5 AM, and with Steve starting work in just three more hours. It’s almost time for Rex Morgan to get up and put on his tie.

MW: Poor little Mary is unable to afford a jacket that matches her bedlinen and other clothing. Is there ever going to be any point to this? If going there is half the journey (old tundra saying), I don’t think it’s going to be worth the trip.

PmP: Now that’s the way to do a wedding!

Phantom: “O’Ghost”? Is the Phantom Irish?

Zits: Nice battleship.

PBS: And the stock price is doing so well, too!

GF: “A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket.”—John Dennis (1657–1734), British playwright, critic.

BC: Not nearly as offensive as years past.

We the Robots: Funny, in a sick way.
Mr. O'Malley
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:55 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox:

ZZ-Y GIRL The she-bear that naps

AP DNA The bear that has journalism in its genes

KC LAB The experimenting bear from the “Show Me” state

LA PRO Bruin Wilson
Mr. O'Malley
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

The SF Chronicle has announced they’re going to run Candorville during the Doonesbury vacation, and is inviting reader comments on the subject.

I’ve looked at Candorville a few times and it doesn’t seem too bad. I’ll see how I like a steady diet of it.

My least favorite strips that the Chron runs are Blondie and Sherman’s Lagoon, but I don’t think any paper anywhere would dare dump Blondie.
Arglebargle
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Zits: That’s nice. I like it when this strip retreats from flapping boobs and FOOBARism, back in the direction of Calvin & Hobbes territory.

Sherman’s Lagoon: Just curious; does this guy start, like, drinking, when a kid gets bitten by a shark in real life, or a woman gets run over by a ray?

FOOB: I don’t know, Michael. Ask Bruce Tinsley.

Mother Goose & Grimm: …What?

Luann: Oh yeah? Try saying that with a mouthful of ampersand question mark pound sign asterisk lightning bolt, woman.

Lockhorns: WOW. In a Sunday strip, even.

Get Fuzzy: WOW. In a Sunday strip, even.

Blondie: When did Dagwood sustain such a devastating head injury as to reduce him to such thoughtless idiocy? (It was funny to see Blondie launch herself into orbit then slag the hell out of him, though.)
IdleDandy
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

For a moment I thought the PBS crocs were about to lapse into King Lear.
Carly
March 23rd, 2008 at 5:19 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean, what on earth are you doing in For Better or For Worse?

On a related note, Foobs would be greatly improved by cancer, methinks.
Nil Zed
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:12 am [Reply]

22 # Superfecta says:
So Liz is so unexcited about her upcoming nuptials that she can’t even call a few friends or family to tell them the news? She just sends an email telling them they might need to wear a hideous dress at some point in the future?

Was it horrible to send such information by telegram or telephone instead of letter, back when those items were new and high tech? There was a cost question in those days, low tech letters being so much cheaper. These days the cost works the other way. Internet communication costs practically nil while long distance phone calls cost more and more.

My daughters’ would text, IM or email before placing an actual phone call. In fact, one of them IM’ed me on google chat 2 weeks ago to let me know that she and the boyfriend’s marriage plans are now official and I should plan on being back in the states in Fall 2009. Yeah, that’s right, she told me, her mom, via the interwebs rather than via the telephone. Admittedly, overseas phone calls from her cell phone would cost the moon, but even were I back in the states, she probably still would have texted.
Nil Zed
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:23 am [Reply]

4EvahFan — Guest Book Monitor says:

And she’s already yakking about bridesmaids! This supposed engagement isn’t even 24 hours old yet, she has no ring, no date, no announcement, and even the word “engaged” has only been uttered once, but she’s picking bridesmaids.

this is why you are guest book monitor. The FIRST thing girls think about is bridesmaids! Hell, many girls have their bridesmaids picked out before they start dating, and certainly they keep the list updated, ready at any moment! Your sisters, his sisters, certain cousins, your BFF, your 2ndBFF.

Gods in Heaven, please, please, please let Shawna Marie be a pregnant as possible in her lime green taffeta dress! Please! Or April.
Nil Zed
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:26 am [Reply]

I was a bridesmaid once purely because the bride didn’t know any little girls and she wanted my little girl to be a flower girl. Somehow, she couldn’t justify using her co-workers little girl unless she made our friendship into a much bigger deal than it was. I managed to get her to pay for both our dresses, my other role was to go dress shopping with her as her mom and sister were too far away. It was amusing to see her devolve from ‘I want something simple and sophisticated’ to “beads, lace, ruffly lace, train, longer train, much, much longer train! I want, I want, I want!!!!!”
Nil Zed
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

85-Hugin re: groomsman and ushers

just like in real life, random heretofore unknown male cousins from either side of the family will be tapped for the job

Or in this case: whoever were his groomsman last time.
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

Looking at Doonesbury today (which I actually thought was funny), I realized that my trouble reading through it is not necessarily sheer volume of text (as with Cathy), but that the lettering is relatively small (at least in my paper), thin, and crowded together. Compared to Foxtrot, which runs directly above it in my paper and seems to have about an equal amount of text, the writing in Doonesbury is very difficult for me to make out.
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

318–Don’t forget Michael. He’ll have to be a groomsman, yes?
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:05 am [Reply]

297–Interestingly, the “waning” in FC is timed to actual real-life waning (the full moon having just passed), but as you pointed out, the depiction is inaccurate!
Niall
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

I actually liked today’s Curtis.

Then I read FC. Ugh.

First two panels of Dennis: menacing potential. The rest: only mildly menacing.

First panel of Sally Forth: a thousand times more menacing.

Hagar: is this finally one of those rare times when something changes in a strip?

And H&L continues to be the most depressing thing on the page. I mean, who does this?? Who does this and smiles while doing it to their kids? The kids aren’t that bad, conpared with FC or other strips, but the parents will ensure they grow up to be serial killers. Or worse – telemarketers.

Slylock: nice triple spring references there – rain, bunny and spring training. As for why Sly doesn’t believe Reeky – come on, it’s Reeky. In a suit?? It can only be for an overelaborate scheme.
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

Mary is able to jump between parallel universes. The Biddy is timeless and ageless.

SlyFox – Haha, Reeky Rat is a Tranny!
Hey kids, can you also draw a Fupped Duck?

FC – Dolly is turning into a werewolf-on Easter!
Someone please pass me the crucifix and garlic bulbs, and fast!

3G is cool today – it’s like a meth-fueled recap of everything that’s happened lately. Bada-Bing.
Maybe Alan can save that little vial for Margo-it will either set her way off or calm her down, depending on what it is.

Blondie – dang, that’s some weird foreplay they have going there! : P
Next, Blondie will come after Dag with the strap-on.

RM – Buh Bye, June! It’s getting late – I’ll kiss you goodbye – perhaps in 2015!

Snuffy – Mmmmm-Salmonella-laden Zoins! I can hardly wait to eat at El’s house.
True Fable
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

A3G Alan, some Gabriella lookalike is publicly hitting on Luann. Man up and get stoned over it like usual.
JP No wonder they bought into a vineyard, these two hit the juice every time they turn around. Too bad it helps contribute to Sam’s Erectile Dysfunction, which is what I figure makes him so unresponsive to Abbey’s mating dances.
MW Mary slept away her entire childhood in order to bank up her powers of meddle for when she emerged into her Adult Stage. The time to attack was at hand, and Tobey remained unaware.
RMMD What do you want to bet that this story will go for a couple of months or so, and then drag Niki back into it as the Teen of the strip? Say, whatever happened to Eightball? Shouldn’t he be taking shots at May? I’d rather see that.
MT Today, Mark does a lot of talking, unaware that he has positioned himself into standing under a tree branch where the panther has set up a nice checkered table and bottle of wine, ready for the Meal O’Justice to walk under her.
Ribinin
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

MW: The way little Mary is looking makes me wonder if her mommy’s new friend, “Uncle John” comes into her room at night to make sure she is “tucked in”.
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

#320 – I thought it would be Michael wearing the lime green taffeta dress.
April will come in drag, looking like Leonard Cohen.
Mibbitmaker
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

FC: Weawy not vewy hawawious today.

NS: Nothing like a slaughter on an Easter morning.

…………Green???

FOOB: Filthy hypocrites! Only twice a year! Christmas and Easter, huh? Well, speaking as someone who doesn’t even… go… that… of…often………. uh……………
Nevermind. Carry on.

Classic Peanuts: I love CB, Linus, and Lucy to pieces and all, but….. you guys are no Joel/Mike, Crow and Tom Servo!

BBlues: Well, isn’t that special![/Church Lady]
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

305–Yes, it is surprising that FC was not Easter-themed. And the dread regarding the waning moon seems somehow to fit with yesterday’s theme of the world ending today. Do you think they’re trying to tell us something? Like, that they are going to stop the strip?
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

#324 True – Yes, heh, Mary has yet to emerge from her Pod.

3G also – yep, nice try for some spunky woman on woman action, but of course it goes right over Luann’s head, or right through it, as usual.
My God, George Clooney or Angelina Jolie could be standing naked in front of her, and she still wouldn’t understand.
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

#328 – But if they stop the (round) strip, will it still continue in Australia?
gleeb
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

9CL: Drivel, drivel, drivel. A-yup, some of them polly-ticians are sure nasty articles all right. Shouldn’t you be resting you gall bladder or something?

A3G: Whoa, the host of Girl Talk may be about to put the moves on Lu Ann.

‘bean: It’s a bit late to be playing the lovable idiot card now, isn’t it?

Phantom: “All the Singh brotherhood needed was a free sample. Now, take the damn lampshade off your head.”

Sally: Loopy. Funny. Very nice.

Zippy: Pointless. Omphaloskeptic. Kill it now, before it bores again.

Opus: Well, I hope Breathed doesn’t have more than one child, or he’s doing it to himself.

Pearls: Can we move on to the second generation of crocodiles now, the ones that don’t speak lame-ass broken English?

Speed Bump: A light year is a unit of distance, not time.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-Hater
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

MW: Just where in the HELL is this story arc going, anyway??
queek
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

despite the occasional “Jeremy is a moron” moments, Zits continues to be one of the most visually inventive strips around. The Sunday “parking the carrier” strip is just wonderful, right down to the blinking turn signal. Wonder if the USS Nimitz has one of those?
alley (not allie) cat
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 am [Reply]

FC: Today’s (Sunday’s) FC was such a complete mystery to me that I had to immediately come here for an explanation. I now understand that “wain” is a lisping cute-ism, but Grandma’s plapable dread at the sight of the waning moon is still lost on me. “Oh dear!” with the hand out in alarm and surprise. Is she going to gather the family and head for the cellar…?
Kurdt
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Family Circus: Oh, “wain” is supposed to be “rain”! Dolly has a cute little speech impediment! That’s very very clever!

(Must resist urge to punch hole through computer screen…)
John C Fremont
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

# 303 & 305
“Couldn’t be a lilly or a taffy-daffy-dilly,
It’s got to be a rose ’cause it rhymes with Mose.”

Oh. Wrong movie.
alley (not allie) cat
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

334: I typed “plapable.” *sigh* PALPABLE.
12xuser
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

MW: Mary’s friend made her feel better “as friends OFTEN do”? She ALMOST made the hard days and nights MORE bearable? Where did she live, Dachau?

Lots of kids come from “broken” homes. It’s just not that uncommon, and hardly ever leads to the life of joyless despair that Mary describes. Mary has not described any abuse beyond benign neglect, something that all kids have to deal with to some extent. But Mary was so damaged by this that her relationship with her best friend didn’t help at all. She is a sociopath who doesn’t really understand people; her advice is based on regurgitation of trite homilies that she “once read somewhere”.
Alt Comix
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan Why is the coroner calling the Morgan household at 5AM? Does he want to speak to Rex? Or to June?

And is there something that June is forgetting about???

Click here to find out: http://www.flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2350733453/sizes/o/
Godzooky
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

And, today, Spider-Man fails yet again at both:

1. Make-believe science: His Spider-Sense should have been buzzing like crazy the closer he got to the electrified bars.

2. Real science: Where to begin? Not enough of a ledge, not enough leverage, not enough momentum to swing himself through the wall. More importantly, if you take the usual architectural layout of a two-story home into account, swinging from the ledge would have him plowing directly into the first-story ceiling/second-story floor rather than going into the room itself. Which would turn this into the adventures of Spider-Cripple.

Which might be an improvement.
dyslexic dog
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

334, 335
Thank you for those explanations finally enlightening me to Dolly’s speech apraxia, manifesting itself only today.

Or is it Gwandma’s? Or did she mean she was afwaid the moon was stawting to wane?

Or is Dolly merely a cootie brat who also wonders what there is to fear when the moon goes through its natural stages?
Ukulele Ike
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

BC: Unprecedented! Today’s strip is equally applicable to Easter, Passover, and the Vernal Equinox!

9CL: When it’s Thorax and this number of word balloons, the safest practice is to skip reading this entirely.

SFx: Man, we are WAY overdue for a Cassandra Cat adventure. What do we have to do, Weber? Beg?

RMMD: “…but I assure you, we’re going to find out! Now, how about some grape gum?”
“Oh, Doctor! Grape gum could never replace a child!”
“Oh, yeah? You ever try chewing a kid when you’re carsick?”
– Thanx & a tip of th’ hat to the National Lampoon, circa 1973
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

342–Except that we’ve got another month before Passover. Maybe they can re-run it…
dreadedcandiru2
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

S4th: What? THE? FUCK? You mean to tell me that Sally’s obsessive need to bite the ears off Hilary’s chocolate rabbit started because of a BET???? LAME!!
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

#338 – Old Swedish Saying-
“Touch not the Biddy casserole, nor try to reach her soul, for it may not exist.”

Now if Mary had eventually joined the Symbionese Liberation Army, things might have been a tad more exciting for her.
Braniff
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Re: Today’s FC–Given that today is Easter Sunday, and that the Family Circus shows a family practicing a very Christian faith, why aren’t there any references to the Easter holiday (either religious or otherwise)? Were Jeff and Bil asleep at the drawing board? Or have their syndicators been the target of some angry atheists or secular humanists who want any reference to Easter banned from the comic pages?
Baka Gaijin
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Josh, where are you???? Your extended absence has ripped the fabric of the time-space continuum in the comics. Garfield got shit on today instead of Monday. Hilary ate her chocolate Easter bunny ears. Mary Worth spent 7 panels repeating the same thing she said in the past 7 daily strips. Oh, wait, I guess it’s not completely torn.
Braniff
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

333: Wasn’t Jeremy in traffic court for violating the conditions of his learner’s permit?
Niall
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

339. AltComix: Bwahahahahaha!!! That was priceless!

344. dreadedcandiru2: This is the first time I’m privy to this “tradition”, but it sounds perfectly plausible to me. And any reason to send Hillary off the deep bend is good. :)
Poteet
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

MT — I seem to recall that the most recent count indicated that there are fewer than a dozen Florida panthers left. It’s even worse than you know, Mark.

Foob — So now that wee church-loving Michael is a great big boy, does he go to church every Sunday? Do you, Michael?

Methinks I hear crickets chirping…
Poteet
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

# 339 Alt — HAR!! What an excellent Easter gift!
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-Hater
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

How much do I hate the FOOB?

One-one-trillion……
Two-one-trillion……
THREE-one-trillion………

I hate Lynn more, though. If that’s possible.
Juan de Fuca
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

New Adventures of Queen Victoria has a takeoff on Slylock Fox today here
Little Guy
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

Prince Valiant: Whiskey Tango Forsooth?!?

FOOB: “Because, we are the Holy Family, Michael. Jesus, Mary and Joseph should visit us every Sunday.”
Poteet
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

# 353 Juan — Thanks for the link — that QV is really funny.
queek
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

353: that is priceless!

354: Skyrmir cleans up well, doesn’t he?
Jeff
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Slylock: Will this be the day Max buys and actually wears a shirt?
Tabby
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

#352 Upper-Evergreen? Joe, is that like, the top of a pine tree, or the place in Colorado?
Calico
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

#348 – Yes, but the judge let him keep his Learner’s Permit because Walt and Connie gave him adequate punishment at home.
They made him read Mary Worth for a month.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-Hater
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

358 Tabby:

Neither. Just Michigan, where we have lots of Evergreens!
IdleDandy
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Hee. #354 re: FOOB for COTW!

Imagine my surprise as I lay in bed last night to find that the moon was a waning gibbous! If Jeffy knew how to draw a waning gibbous, the strip would have been completely accurate.

And yet, still not funny.
Shoshi
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Why does the Christian Singles ad say “Christians Join for Free”? Is it like the dating services that allow ladies to join free, like they are expecting a lot of non-Christians to be clamoring to join, so they can meet and date Christians?

…Well, sure, everyone wants Christian Single Girl. But the analogy breaks down, because the Christians presumably wouldn’t be interested in dating non-Christians. All I can imagine is that this is a way of collecting email addresses for spamming purposes.
KT
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

MC: MySpace? I thought MyCage was supposed to be the animal-world version of MySpace. So do both exist, and they’re competitors? And if so, what does Norm think of Bridget using his company’s competitor? (Eh, his morale being what it is, he probably doesn’t give a flip.) :}
bats :[
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

324. TrueFable re MT: oooh, is this one of those “cougars” that I’ve heard about? I would’ve thought Mark was a little old for one of them, but he is remarkably well-preserved…

323. Calico re FC: if Dolly were changing into a werewolf, Bighair Gramma Keane doesn’t need garlic and a crucifix — it’s silver bullets all the way. And a mercy to us all, too.

333. queek: I was pretty impressed (funny and artistic-wise, too) with Zits. I guess an aircraft carrier really would have a keel that big on it. Huh.
And of course, given government spending (that whole Pentagon debacle from years back), it would also have honkin’ big turn indicators.
True Fable
March 23rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

#324 bats :[ – Mark goes by the old adage, “Once you go Cherry, you seldom will vary.”
commodorejohn
March 23rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

BBlue – If you had asked me which comic strip would have narratorially acknowledged on-panel foreplay (on Sunday, no less,) my guesses would’ve been Arlo & Janis and, less probably, Sally Forth, but I really didn’t expect it from Baby Blues.

FOOB – Because it’s The Proper Thing To Do, kid. You know, like marrying your childhood sweetheart and producing exactly two children, and entering only a maternally approved career/life path.

FC – Chiming in on the “why is Grandma upset about the moon waning?” question. Maybe she’s dreading the upcoming New Moon ritual, since she’s finally old enough to be the sacrifice.

JP – “That’s the best news I’ve heard all year! At least somebody will be getting laid around here!”

NAQV – For those, like myself, who only check out The New Adventures Of Queen Victoria occasionally, today is a good day to do so.

Pibgorn – Okay, it’s taken a while, but this strip has finally shifted gears from “confusing as all hell” to “entertainingly messed-up.”

SFx – Hannah Yo of Stanford, CT is pretty darn good for a ten-year-old. Keep it up, kid!

SM –

“Hey, Herb, did you see today’s insect-themed superhero comic?”
“No, what happened?”
“Well, he was about to place himself in a potentially harmful situation, but then he didn’t!”
Vince M
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

353: The cartoonist’s actual drawing skills are pretty bad, but he still gets the goggly-eyed stare down.

I gotta say I like the ‘take it slow’ theme in today’s ‘Watch Your Head’ a LOT better than in FOOB:
http://comics.com/wash/watch/index.html
Wanders
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

MW: If you want to read something incredible… this is Mary’s story so far! It is incredibly something… you decide.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

#366 yesterthread commodorejohn,
You were right about New Adventures of Queen Victoria. Many ‘mudges could enjoy it.
dale
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Zits

To those of you who expressed appreciation of today’s (3/23) strip, a serious question: Do you see Zits only on Sunday?

As far as the driver’s permit issue is concerned, I think today is simply a case of a Sunday strip being out of synch with the weekly run.

In any case, Pus for Brains has already violated two of the punishments: no cell phone and being grounded.
Anne
March 24th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

oh i’ve been too busy to read this for a long time now!!! :( :( :( but that last bit about marmaduke made me laugh to beat the band!!! You rock, Josh — I’ll be back more often now.
Sabre Rouge
March 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Liz’s heavy-lidded expression in panel 4 suggests intoxication rather than vengeance. It looks like Alan found a taker!
Tasha J. Glisson
March 19th, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

So do something about it, don’t stay indoors about your problem, try to solve your dysfunction along with your doctor, get a male impotence solution and get to see how much your sex life can improve. Even if you have a male impotence problem you can enjoy of plenty satisfying sex, there are already millions of men who have taken over, or controlled their sex life even when they have an erectile dysfunction problem, so look for an answer and have yourself the best solution to an already decaying problem.
Mobilkin
February 11th, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]

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