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Is Herb reading the nutritional information on a giant box of salt?

Herb and Jamaal, 9/26/12

How much salt do you generally consume when someone plays the old “salt in the sugar bowl” trick on you? Like, significantly less than a spoonful, most of which you end up spitting out because whatever you intended to put sugar on tastes repulsive with salt on it, right? Can you imagine how many times someone would have to do this to you to cause any real increase in your blood pressure? Like, every day, for years. It’s actually much more likely that Jamaal’s blood pressure is up because his business partner and supposed best friend is a vicious prankster, and it’s extremely stressful wondering when the next “hilarious” gag will cause him physical discomfort and/or bodily harm.

Family Circus, 9/26/12

Good lord, what sort of violent, Keane-persecuting hellscape lies outside the walls of the Kompound? Quick, everyone, let’s seal ourselves in the basement! It’s the only way to be safe!

Hi and Lois, 9/26/12

Hey, everybody, it’s a Curtis-Hi and Lois crossover! Because if there’s one thing we all associate with Curtis, it’s the meticulous curation of unopened classic toys. Remember, there’s no better way to tip your hat to your fellow cartoonists than to use one of their character designs but then completely ignore any of the personality traits they’ve developed for that character!

Apartment 3-G, 9/26/12

“Right here, just below my eyeball. Remember, Greg, this is the most erotic spot on a woman’s face. Now lick it. LICK IT!” Ladies, Lu Ann is showing how you can ensure that a date’s refusal to come up to your apartment won’t be so polite next time.

232 responses to “Is Herb reading the nutritional information on a giant box of salt?”

  1. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn, don’t go searching for yourself. We know you and you won’t like what you find.

  2. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    FC-Your guardian angel was there, Billy. It got in a few cheap shots while you were on the ground curled up in the fetal position.

    Luann-Blonde girl, I would stay away from Ox if I was you. He likes to pet soft things and he doesn’t know his own strength. He might kill you.

    Spiderman-Prison rape will knock the nuttiness out of him.

    A3G-If I was Lu Ann I would want to be kissed some place lower than the cheek.

    MT-Let’s hope you don’t hit Rusty when you throw the log through the truck’s windshield, Cherry.

    MW-Dawn, the thing that won’t let you go is called your father.

    FW-It’s good for them to learn that life is a series of disappoints and sometimes you just have to settle for the least common denominator like you did, Cayla. Isn’t that right, Cayla?

    RMMD-”I can’t believe it. We travel all the wait here to San Diego and you can only have generic store brand beer in your refrigerator.”

    JP-It’s pot harvesting season! Will they have a festival like they do in Germany with beer and Octoberfest?

  3. nescio
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    FC: I hope this Sunday we get a detailed trail of Billy’s Grandpa wandering around Heaven on his day off, while below on Earth Billy gets the shit kicked out of him .

  4. Justin
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    The way Billy’s shoe is curved, it looks like it goes on the right foot. But it’s his left foot that looks like it was gnawed on by a Balrog. I can only assume that his entire disheveled state is a result of tripping over his own mismatched shoes.

  5. Widdle Jeffy
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    I think that the rounded square comic has found a new ghost artist. Details are way different and there is a better use of scale and perspective.

    Who is this ghost artist?

    Ida Know.

    Not Me.

    Your Guess.

    Not a Keane.

  6. Ray Sharky
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FC: That band-aid on his left cheek indicates that Billy’s attackers let up for a little while and gave him some basic medical attention before resuming their vicious beatdown, most likely to prolong his suffering (and thus their amusement). Still, that he kicked his assailants in the nuts so many times that his left foot is so swollen that it no longer fits its shoe (yet he walks on it without seeming difficulty) is a testament to Billy’s fighting spirit. I can’t help but feel admiration for all parties to this fray.

  7. Clint Brawny
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Who kicked Billy’s butt, and when can (s)he be given a medal?

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Artists are difficult to fathom. They traffic in a different mental worldview from most people, which is one reason why society can appreciate art and artistic expression. Here, for instance, this artist started with an idea that he wanted to depict a horribly mangled and distressed child–art for art’s sake.

  9. teenchy
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    H&J: Like, significantly less than a spoonful, most of which you end up spitting out because whatever you intended to put sugar on tastes repulsive with salt on it, right?

    I dunno, Josh, that salted caramel fad shows no signs of abatement.

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Lio: *golf clap*

    NAoQV: I shall endeavor to work “splorfle” into my conversations.

    SBp: multi-colored birdfeed. to go.

    Zits: that’s actually sort of a cute joke.

    Crank: DIE IN A FIRE!!!

    Lockhorns: Loretta will settle for a playa to be named later.

    MG&G: /doublefacepalm.

    Ghost: don’t look, True Fable!!! goats in peril!!!!

    Pluggers: are old. but still think they are middle-aged.

    6Cx: heh. well played, madame.

  11. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . keeping your balls in the air.

  12. Señor Tortilla
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    FC: BEST. FAMILY CIRCUS. EVER.

    FW: Our happy couple, everyone!

  13. wossname
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MT – C’mon, Andy, don’t just stand there – help with the log-dragging chores. Won’t you be embarrassed if Cherry has to ask that ox-sized squirrel to help her?

    Kevin & Kell – I really wish more of y’all read this strip – it’s so good! And it’s on Darkgate so no extra effort involved. I don’t normally mention it because (a) it’s obscure here and (b) my comments on it would always be praise, which as we all know is boring compared with snark. But today I have to give a nod to the high-powered PR firm run by cats, which is called Shredding, Drapes and Curtains. Well, I laughed.

    Phantom – Things I don’t get: (a) The Llongo have that high fence around the village, and the elaborately decorated gate – but the gate doesn’t close. (b) The goats are outside the fence. Or are those supposed to be wild gazelles? (c) The Magic Lioness doesn’t notice Kit and Devil even though they’re about 10 feet away. (d) Assuming that’s the same gate in both panels, the goats/gazelles suddenly appeared where Kit, Devil and the tree were. Wait, I do get it! Kit and Devil and the tree turned themselves into gazelles to divert the lioness, because, um, uh, because it’s magic!

  14. Lenoxus
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    I didn’t even realize that was Curtis until Josh said so. Huh.

  15. Chyron HR
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    H&L – Hey, it’s a genuine “Transformer” brand toy, em-eye-bee! If you get really close, you can still catch a wiff of that bootleg toy factory smell.

  16. Christopher
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois: If the Hi & Lois team would stop writing their crappy regular comic strip and instead write about “Super Cartoon Cool Man” and his nemesis “Da Evil Horse Head” I would definitely read it. Especially if it involved them using their superpowers to fight over a original Star Trek phaser toy still in its box.

  17. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

  18. pccmdoc
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    What is Jamaal eating? Kafka Krispies? That’s some philosophical cereal box.

  19. Rusty
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    H&L: So Curtis, how’s that whole “sleeping in the same bed with your little brother for the last 20 years” thing working out for you?

  20. AndyL
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    To be fair to High and Lois, even if I worked in newspapers, I wouldn’t actually read one.

  21. Little Guy
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Clyde & Barney:

    Fill 3
    Fill 5 with 3
    Fill 3
    Empty into 5 until full
    Empty 5
    Fill 5 with remainder of 3
    Fill 3
    Empty into 5

    4, wasting 5.

  22. McManx
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Family Circus — Guardian angel? You just thought that transparent, dotted line figure was an angel. That’s why when you called for help, he replied “Not Me”.

    Hi and Lois — Pressed to finally integrate the Flagston world, Browne Enterprises recruited Curtis. They got what they payed for.

    Love is — … nude juggling.

    Apt 3-G — Well, if a rain check will get you a kiss on the cheek, I wonder what a $100 bill will produce?

  23. Squeak
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    I like that whatever hell-demon beat up the Keane kid also gave him Band-Aids.

  24. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Archie – This is clearly a repurposed 70s strip from the time when a now famous TV figure was a local weatherman. Svenson’s dialog was originally “Vot am I? David Letterman?”

    Family – On its day off, Billy’s guardian angel likes to unwind by beating the cornflakes out of him.

  25. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#19): So Curtis, how’s that whole “sleeping in the same bed with your little brother for the last 20 years” thing working out for you?

    “To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With”

    We had never seen the belt. But we had heard of it…..

  26. geekwhisperer
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    FC I look forward to Sunday when we will see the dotted black line leading from Keane Kentral to the yard where the DPW leaves its pre-safety equipped brush chippers, then off the cliff into the tangle of densely-planted Acadia trees, to some kind of minor medical station, then into an abandoned warehouse where a particularly touchy international crime gang is receiving a shipment of live honey badgers and claymore mines. Or we are simply reminded that god doesn’t exist.

  27. J
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    oh my, look at the loving detail with which little billy’s suffering has been rendered. seems like jeff keane has actually put a lot more time and effort into today’s comic than usual.

    wait a minute…

    what are these rhythmic spasms in my abdomen?

    no, it can’t be…

    my god, it is.

    i am unironically laughing at a family circus comic. what is happening to me?

  28. J
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    oh my, look at the loving detail with which little billy’s suffering has been rendered. seems like jeff keane has actually put a lot more time and effort into today’s comic than usual.

    wait a minute…

    what are these rhythmic spasms in my abdomen?

    no, no. it can’t be…

    my god, it is.

    i am unironically laughing at a family circus comic. what is happening to me?

  29. Joe
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Josh, I’m of two minds about it. One one hand, any place where the Keane kids are routinely ravaged by feral dogs sounds like the kind of place I’d like to buy property. One the other hand, the fact that said ravaging seems to have done them so little damage makes me quite frightened of those kids, and worried about their ability to withstand much worse punishment. God forbid they were to come after me.

  30. Ned Ryerson
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    H&L: OMG, Dr. Evil Horse Head With Action Grip?!

    FC: This one threw me this morning. Good Lord, indeed! Billy looks like he got dragged under a bus for a couple blocks. I think all the Keanes’ sublimated hatred of their iconic character got poured into this drawing. (Upon reflection, I’m also puzzled at the band-aids. Someone presumably found Billy in this condition, stuck a couple band aids on his “owies” and sent him on home? That’s messed up, man!)

  31. being released
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: If you’ll notice the torn star on Billy’s shirt, it’s clear that he’s just escaped from Nazi Germany, circa 1941.

  32. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Dick – Honey Huan, Honeymoon, Honey Combs, Honey Bunny, Honey Badger. See the list, how big it’s grown…

    Hi – So the real Curtis is a jaded middle-class kid with smaller shoes, and he lives in suburban Hell. That’s almost interesting. Is Ditto the real Gunk?

  33. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    love is… …blah blah blah. Uninspired. Screw it, just throw in a heart or two and we’ll call it a day. What’s on Lifetime?

    Mark – I think so, Brain, but what if the squirrel doesn’t want to be chained to the log?

  34. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    JP: Sam is coming to the horrifying realization that other people use the “unavailable” excuse to avoid talking to… him! Oh the humanity.

    S-M: I don’t remember what city the Spideyverse takes place in but apparently they sniff lots and lots of glue.

  35. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    FC: Well, Billy, it’s kind of your own fault for leaving the house today with two flesh wounds that are barely covered with band-aids. You should have known that when your strip runs close to Marmaduke, you should never let him catch the scent of blood.

    And I don’t know who the substitute artist is today, but he has just become my most favorite cartoonist ever. This is the only FC I have ever wanted to cut out and tape to my refrigerator. In fact, it makes me want to buy an extra refrigerator so that I can tape a few dozen more copies to it.

  36. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Marm -Ah, the day Marmaduke vanished! I remember it clearly. It was the day before Cave’s big sale on blockade mutton.

    Mutt – And here’s one that was updated at least once. Most recently, some time before 2007.

  37. RogerBW
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: if you have “recent CD purchases”, you’re a middle-aged Plugger. (Old Pluggers have no truck with such new-fangled nonsense.)

  38. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Phantom – The second panel should just have the lioness looking at a hastily lettered “NO LIONS ALLOWED” sign on the gate.

    Tarzan – “Okay, Tarzan, can we leave now?”
    “Quiet, Jane! They’re montaging!”

  39. Marc
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    9CL- Yes you’d better go thank Seth for the see through wedding dress that will enable everyone to ogle and worship the perfect Burber body.

    A3G- I don’t think that kiss is ever going to happen considering that they’re standing in the middle of the street and there is a van bearing down on them whose driver has no intention of stopping.

    Mark Trail- I wonder if it ever occured to Cherry that if she puts the log in the road and the truck crashes into it, it won’t just injure the poachers, but will hurt and probably deform Rusty even more as well.

    Mary Worth- Dawn is maybe the most terrifying human being ever. Jim’s no prize himself, but if he had half a brain, he would start running as fast as he can back into the jungles, until he is completely free from that Santa Royale hell.

    Luann- So big dumb Ox is supposed to be a good guy, yet is constantly looking to pick fights with those smaller than him. And in the case of Ann Eiffel, a woman. Apparently being a borderline retarded ogre, with a body type and eating habits that will surely lead to diabetes and heart disease sooner rather than later, means that he is allowed to roam the town looking for fights under the justification of “preventing bullying”.

    Funky- Les is either being his normal douchey self, or he’s onto Summer and Kiesha and knows that their love of morning quickies means that they won’t be making many 9 am classes.

    Hi & Lois- I call bullshit. This isn’t Curtis’ room. Where are the generic “rap” posters and 1980′s stereo system? Besides, knowing Lois, there’s no way she’d allow any of her kids to venture into Curtis’ hood.

    Family Circus- I don’t who or what beat the tar out of Billy, but we can only hope that they take care of Jeffy in the same way tomorrow.

    Cranky- Crankshaft may have been all open and accepting of his black teammate back in the 50′s but he’ll be damned if he lets those Hispanish people affect his way of life.

  40. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man – Yes sir, I’ll smoke anything a clown hands me.

    @Widdle Jeffy (#5): I think that the rounded square comic has found a new ghost artist.
    Either that or the artist just really, really enjoyed drawing Billy with the candy corn beat out of him.

    Why is there a little question mark rising from his left shoe? Is that a clue for Batman?

  41. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MT: Today’s strip has been rated S for “Gratuitous Squirrel Close-Up.”

    JP: “‘Unavailable,’ hmmmm,” thinks Sam. “Where have I heard that word before? . . . Oh, yeah—Abbey’s always using that word to describe me! Hey, I have something in common with Bubba!”

  42. TheDiva
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: It’s not her fault; LuAnn missed the week in preschool when they discussed body parts.

    FC: Even God has it in for the Keanes–and can you blame Him?

    H&J: But paranoia makes morons of us all.

  43. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#32): Remember that in JP Sophie’s rival for the guy that she’s trying to purchase with the Bender Blaster is her cheerleader nemesis, who is named Honey something-or-other. I think it’s Honey Dewmelons. I want her to meet Peaches.

  44. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    I’m very excited about this developing Family Circus-Mark Trail crossover. Billy, where’s your spleen?

  45. Esther Blodgett
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    FC: Precocious Daughter looked at this and whispered, with a mixture of horror and reverence, “That’s a little too realistically drawn for ‘Family Circus.’” Yes! I think I’ll save this one for child-intimidating purposes: “Do as I say or I bring out the picture of physically and spiritually defeated Billy to haunt your dreams.”

    Luann: I really liked this, and I really liked Tiffany’s line. Please don’t just revert to being lame tomorrow. That wouldn’t be gorgeous.

    FW: Orientation was a month ago, don’t touch my snacks, and get the hell out of my dorm room, Dad. #WhatIWouldSaytoLes

    H&L: The parents aren’t going to be happy that Ditto is spending so much time in the ‘hood.

  46. Holly Folly
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Greg, man of a thousand slightly different noses.

  47. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#32):

    Honey Boo Boo?

  48. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Joe (#29): Marmaduke!

  49. Mibbitmaker
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    H&J: “Fear gives intelligence even to fools.” Because, after all, if someone’s diet isn’t the up to Jack LaLane levels, then it’s humor and comedy’s duty to make them (or their practical jokers (legitimately a fool in this case)) in constantly deathly fear for their lives every day. Laughs? What fun would that be?!

    FC: That’s what happens when the girls in the neighborhood all watched the opening skit from last Sunday’s Emmy Awards! “But, Billy, you look like you had a bad botox job. We thought we were doing you a favor!”

    A3G: That’s a rain check, not rain CHEEK! (*rimshot!*)

    Hi & Lois & Curtis (?!?): An appearence of another comic character in a comic strip, but the joke isn’t a snarky parody of said character or his strip? Walker-Browne are apparently attempting a “nice” Pearls Before Swine or Lio.

  50. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Holy Moley, I didn’t know LuAnn (Powers) could be so sexually aggressive. Teenage Luann who wants to give it all up for Quill, yes, but this one – ?!
    Maybe she took lessons from Magee after returning from SD?

    FC – In reality I’d freak and would be calling either the school, the hospital, or the cops (probably all 3, actually) if if a saw a child in that condition, but Billy’s West Side Story/The Outsiders vibe and look today just delight me.

  51. Ned Ryerson
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#39): Don’t worry about Rusty’s well-being. If the poachers/kidnappers run into the log, Sassy will serve as a cookie dough airbag to cushion Rusty’s sudden impact with the dashboard.

  52. S.Stout
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    H&L: I thought I was the only one that had a mint condition Super Captain Cool Man!

    FC: It’s funny because someone decided that one band-aid on Billy’s cheek was sufficient medical attention.

  53. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#47):
    Honey Boo Boo Child vs. Mary Worth!

    (The show is kind of a train wreck but I do admire the love this family genuinely seems to have for each other-better than seeing hair-pulling fights, emotional abuse, and drunken meltdowns.)

  54. TheDiva
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Thank you for putting my bride-to-be on display like the piece of meat she is!”

    Only a Brooke McEldowney would consider a wedding dress that exposes literally everything both necessary and desirable for displaying a bride to her best advantage.

    C’shaft: Is this insulting to everybody, or just Latinos?

    FW: “I have no faith in my child and no desire to see her excel, have I mentioned that?”

    Luann: Remember girls, the best way to fend off unwanted advances is to have a big, strong man stand up for you!

    MW: “Not being a complete dunderhead helps too, of course.”

    Pibgorn: So the last few days of this strip was just an excuse to work in Viagra and gag penis jokes. Stay classy, Brooke.

    SM: Three weeks later, Clown-9 was shanked in the prison cafeteria for pulling the old “loosened salt shaker top” gag.

  55. Dood
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Billy’s guardian angel saw Marmaduke. And ran.

  56. Dood
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “Geewillikers, Lu Ann, would a kiss right there be proper? I mean, it could lead to all kinds of things!”

  57. Austria
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    BC: It seems the “Midnight Campaigner” struck when the sun was up. The Midnight Campaigner is losing his mojo. (Vote Thor!)

    H&L&C: Do the Loises even live anywhere REMOTELY close to the Curtises? I always assumed Curtis lived in the heart of some Eastern-Standard-Time city while the Flagstons were smack in the middle of midwest suburbia. “Let’s go to your house,” Curtis said, pulling out his plane tickets.

    Luann: And thus, with the line “I’m not gorgeous,” were the Les/Ox slashfics born.

  58. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#49):
    Now I want to see another Comix Crossover fun day, like they did in 1997 or so.
    I esp. liked that Mother Goose and Grimm’s artist did a take on Foob. Pretty funny!

    And Dawn, that thing you speak of is probably heroin.

  59. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#50):

    Re; A3G

    When Luann invites you up for “coffee”, she really does just mean coffee. Folgers Decaf with Splenda.

  60. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    H&L: Sorry, Walker-Browne Industries, but you picked totally the wrong character for a cross-over, if the gag was meant to be that he has a collection of mint-condition boxed action figures. We all know that this strip could work only if the guest star were Ted Forth.

  61. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#53):

    I saw the show for five minutes. Honey Boo Boo was looking for a product to help warsh Momma’s neck crust (the dirt that apparently accumulates under her rolls of neck fat). She commented on the smell. I changed the channel.

    Ah warsh mahself with a rag on a stick!!!!

  62. James of the North
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    I nearly choked on my potatoes O’Brien this morning with the Apartment 3-G gag. I’ll have to take terrible consideration to remember that below the eyeball is the erogenous zone on the female. :-)

  63. Doctor Handsome
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    The back of Herb’s box of Confucius-O’s says “nutritional information” but then there’s only one illegible line of text below it. I think it just says “WILL FUCKING KILL JAMAAL.”

  64. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#61):
    I know, *sigh*
    Cheesy Poofs ™ all over the living room carpet, and Momma washes her hair in the kitchen sink.
    Can we do a Snuf/Boo Boo crossover?

  65. Doctor Handsome
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Lu Ann, when a guy says he’d rather run errands than bang you, just quit before you embarass yourself.

  66. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#57):
    I’ve thought the opposite-that the Wilkins Family lives in, say, Chicago, and H & L live in Fairfield Cty. CT.

  67. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#54): “C’shaft: Is this insulting to everybody, or just Latinos?”

    yes.

  68. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    CS – Joe Arpaio Jr!

    Oh, and sadly, Mr. Moon River, Andy Williams, has passed. RIP.

  69. Dan
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    If this is what happens to a Keane every time they leave the house, it would explain the chronic swelling in the head. Although the stubby little arms are still anybody’s guess.

  70. Mustang
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    A3G – And so begins the end of another Lu Ann love “affair”. “That depends. Could I have a kiss on the cheek right there?” “I dunno. Do you want to annoy another man right out of your life?” “Could be. Will you be coming over for dinner tonight?”

  71. grillboy meatmonster
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @James of the North (#62): ” I’ll have to take terrible consideration to remember that below the eyeball is the erogenous zone on the female. ” – Way, way below the eyeball.

  72. kkarenb
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#68): I was sorry to hear about Andy Williams. I heard a brief interview with him not long ago on satellite radio.
    Expect to see Aunt Fritzi blubbering over “Moon River” in a couple of weeks.

  73. Gary
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    H&L: I think the crossover is broader than previously suspected; with Curtis away visiting WalkerBrowneia, Derrick and “Onion” had nowhere to channel their wrath and hunted down Billy.

  74. Ian Beste
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#61): But without shows like that, who would we feel superior to?

    Besides whoever does “Reply All” of course.

  75. Mibbitmaker
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    BC: He’s British and he stole their copy of Jeff Smith’s great comic book series? The SWINE!

    9CL: Honesty in a marriage is important, right? — Naw, pretending to be a controlling husband is, according to Brooke.

    Zits: “I’m a chatty female stereotype, and you’re a grunting male stereotype, Jeremy, is what I’m saying.”

    Glibporn: Viagra in the coffee? No wonder those guys go there. Either that, or the waitress is THAT desperate for a date.

    FW: For all of Les’s smug superiority over slacking students — even by authority figure standards — he’s really just a hypocrite who blows off important school stuff for their daughters, leaving it up to Cayla to be the pain-in-the-ass. As if there weren’t enough reasons to hate Les Moore already!

  76. CanuckDownSouth
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#54): Oh, McEldowney’s just been watching too many Say Yes to the Dress episodes – maybe reruns. A noticeable number of their nearing-bridezilla shoppers came wanting dresses that looked like they belonged under the real dress – or in a burlesque act. Translucent bodices with strategic lace / sequins – I kid you not. (This may no longer be the case; I gave up on that show even as mind-distracting treadmill-fodder a couple of years ago.)

  77. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    H&J: Assuming Jamaal has taste buds, I’m guessing he’s not going to ingest much of this nasty NaCl.

    FC: The chickens of Billy’s gambling addiction come home to roost. Bookies play rough, boy.

    H&L: In order to add some diversity, the strip buses in Curtis Wilkins. Wonder if it cost extra to leave Barry behind.

    A3G: Lu Ann’s aim is getting better. Last time she asked for a kiss on the cheek she had to wear a bandage on her eye for a week.

    Ziggy: Ziggy has to patrol his pets to make sure they’re not violating anyone’s copyright.

    C-Shaft: That is one sad malapropism, Señor Crankshaft.

    9CL: Looks like Brooke had to leave considerably more to the imagination than he was hoping to, as I’m sure Pibgorn readers will eventually hear.

    Popeye: Yeah, and we’ll asphyxiate, but we guess it’s all about you. – The world’s fish

    BSt: There’s a fetish I haven’t really thought about and still won’t.

    RMMD: Junior is either a cheap-ass drunk or a Herb & Jamaal wannabe.

    BB: Miss Buxley wants to marry Beetle because he wouldn’t constantly be expecting sex, and suddenly the world makes sense again.

    GT: Thorp is a sports strip. How did it take this long to add a slimy sports agent who talks about himself in third person?

    Luann: The high school sexual harassment thing thus far hasn’t suggested that Tiffani deserves it. So, all-out disaster averted for now.

    SSmith: Ah, hair extensions for you horse. That’s… not insane. Not at all.

    S-M: You were wondering how stupid the cops in the sub-Marvel universe have to be in order for Spidey to catch the criminals before they do? Here’s your answer.

  78. Horace Broon
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    H&L: To be fair, I do associate Curtis with “money-making schemes”, it’s just they’re generally a little more zany and immediate-reward than “If I mantain this toys in mint condition until I’m thirty, it will increase in value”, y’know? I do have to give Browne-Walker LLC props for using Curtis’s actual favourite superhero and his archenemy, though.

  79. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#72):
    From what I have read here, why all the recent keening (not Keaning, ha!) over dead musicians in this comic?
    For the record (Haha! Not), I haven’t read Nancy since the early 70′s.

  80. Horace Broon
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#13): I can’t speak for anyone else, but I certainly read Kevin & Kell; it’s just that, as you say, there’s rarely anthing to snark at.

  81. Stroker Ace
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    FC – Your guardian angel was with you Billy. How else do you explain your miraculous escape from John Wayne Gacy’s crawlspace?

  82. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    FW: Yes, Cayla……..HIT HIM. But hit him HARDER. Use the bat. Hell, just hit him with a taser.

  83. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#44):

    Wouldn’t a lost spleen be more appropriate for the Family Circus/Brewster Rockit crossover?

  84. Doctor Handsome
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    “YO MAMA’s fun-on-the-floor!!” Sorry, I really had to get that out.

  85. kkarenb
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#79): I don’t read Nancy regularly, but I have checked it out once in a while. I think the dead celebrity mourning started with the death of Davy Jones earlier this year. The comic did a very nice tribute to him. But then it went off the deep end.

  86. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#72): I liked Andy Williams. I already wrote and told my cousin that he’s “the” Andy Williams now.

    Oh, Fritzi! Why does everyone you like die of old age? Oh, well. Live slow, die old, and leave a three-panel memorial in an uninspired zombie gag strip.

  87. pugfuggly
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    H&J Herb’s ‘salt in the sugar ‘is a good gag, but it’s nothing compared to Jamaal’s ‘mercury in the sugar’ joke. It takes a few years to pull off, but the look on his face will be hilarious!

    FC Billy looks bad now, but that’s going to be nothing copared to what’s in store for him now that he’s let it slip that he doubts the omnipotence of God’s agents on earth. Into the special room in the basement, Billy, your guardian angel will be waiting there with a rod.

    A3G…and the negotiations continued long into the night….

  88. Ray Sharky
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Good lord, what sort of violent, Keane-persecuting hellscape lies outside the walls of the Kompound?

    Upon review, there does appear to be a mushroom cloud dissipating in background, which makes Billy’s “guardian angel” comment seem horrifically narcissistic.

    @kkarenb (#85):

    Davy Jones earlier this year. The comic did a very nice tribute to him. But then it went off the deep end.

    All the way down to his locker? [emph. mine]

  89. greghousesgf
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    it occurs to me Dr. Evil Horse Head sounds like an amalgam of two of my favorite shows, House and My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. all you need to do is figure out some way to get Monty Python and MST3K in there.

  90. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#87):
    Arsenic and Old Lace, Diner-style!

  91. Doctor Handsome
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    I knew if I just read Family Circus for 30 years, I’d eventually see one I truly enjoyed. The over/under on Funky Winkerbean is 115 years.

  92. Doctor Handsome
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Of course, Jamaal’s also diabetic, so the prank was kind of a wash, health-wise.

  93. Brett
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or could Dr Evil Horsehead be a reference to Dr Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog? (Some combination of Dr Horrible with Bad Horse and the Evil Legion of Evil?)

  94. SurrealKangaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Best. Episode. Ever.

  95. TheDiva
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Brett (#93): Dr. Horsehead is a standard villain in whatever comic book series Curtis is always reading when he should be paying attention in class (Supercoolman? Something like that?). I’m pretty sure he predates Bad Horse, though as far as I know Billingsley hasn’t sued Joss Whedon for copyright infringement. And now I will go curl in a corner and weep for the cells in my brain devoted to Curtis trivia, despite the fact that I gave up on all non-Kwanzaa versions of that strip years ago.

  96. yaoi huntress earth
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Ah Greg, you are the whiniest little bitch in comics today.

  97. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I’m glad LuAnn explained “right here” and pointed. Usually when a woman I know asks for a kiss on the cheek, I assume she wants me to munch on her ass. That would explain all the restraining orders I’ve accumulated over time. If only other ladies would provide such a detailed diagram.

  98. Ray Sharky
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#91): Still, the image of Les beaten, battered, bruised and bleeding as he staggers into his classroom muttering incoherent anti-puns and mal-lusions while his students stare blankly at him with glum indifference will be well worth the wait — especially if Ghost Lisa can be seen in the background cavorting with Masky McDeath with the express purpose of prolonging Les’s suffering.

  99. bunivasal
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    So, who else suspects that the Keanes have told their children that God’s favor makes them invulnerable, in an effort to get the unarmed, bigheaded spawn to distract the descending FBI sharpshooters while they burn documents in the basement of the compound?

  100. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy’s attacker brutally smacked this kid around, inflicting wounds from head to toe. Yet, showed compassion enough to put band-aids on the two smallest wounds.

    A better caption would have been “Apparently, other faiths have no sense of humor when it comes to their core beliefs.”

    Or: “Mom! Dolly kicked my ass again.”

    Or: “I narrowly escaped death at the hands of a sadistic killer, only to find that we’re having tuna casserole for dinner?”

  101. Liz
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    FC: Ha! The artist really took their time on Billy’s pain.
    Here is the first thing that popped in my head. I just had to try to make my own version:

    http://colormecrappy.tumblr.com/post/32332634417/haha

  102. Walker of Dog
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MT: Without Cherry’s stupid word balloon, the third panel could have been a haunting depiction of a squirrel reflecting on life’s transitory nature.

    MW: Dawn: “And when I finally find my calling, I’m going to grab onto it with both hands!”

    Phan: Gazelle #1 (to lioness): “No, it’s cool. Ignore the purple weirdo. Remember, you’re a “Man-Hunter”. So into the village, off you go.”

    RMMD: Shame about her arm, but still… Shazam!

    FC: Billy got the Band-Aids from Dolly, who beat him up then treated his wounds, all before he left for school. When Dolly grows up, she’s going to be one of those messed-up homicidal nurses.

    9CL: ‘Translucent’ means ‘white’?

    A3G: Lu Ann puts her finger on her cheek but points at her nose.
    Greg is flummoxed by the mixed signals.
    The rain check flutters to the sidewalk.

  103. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    MT: Rusty is in real danger – - from a falling log that will crush the pickup truck he’s riding in without a seatbelt!

  104. Chaze
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    ASM – Yeah, never mind the multiple felonies C9 has managed to rack up, not to mention the property damage and assaults on the police. He’s just a nutty guy who wants to make people laugh. Wah Wah Wah……

    GT – “This is America. It’s not what HE wants that matters. It’s what I want that counts.”

    LuAnn – Anyone else seeing a Moose and Midge deal here? I, personally, can’t wait to see multiple beatings, including the girls in the strip.

    FCC – Billy’s visit to Penn State Kids Day did not go well.

  105. odinthor
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Agnes. — But the important thing to remember is that you can waste your time just as well, and much more cheaply, on two crappy pieces of cardboard taped together as you can on the very latest technology. And it’s much more Earth-friendly.

    Ballard Street. — Alas, it all came to a sad end several weeks later when Carl insisted on re-enacting the American Tourister commercial with a real gorilla.

    Dilbert. — Asperger’s sufferers vs. hard-core traditionalists: And so begins today’s lesson in communication challenges. Students—anyone have any ideas for this situation? Yes, Amy? “I’ve found that sex is a good ice-breaker, and frequently leads to greater interpersonal understanding.” “Yes, perhaps; but let’s say that in this instance the time-frame for addressing the business question proposed is too short for that solution. Oh, and could you see me after class?”

    Retail. — Win.

  106. Snarkotix Addict
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    FC – So, Billy joined Fight Club. Kids these days – they grow up so fast!

  107. Ned Ryerson
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#50): but Billy’s West Side Story/The Outsiders vibe and look today just delight me

    Is Billy a Jet, Shark, Greaser or Sosh? (or a Drape, or a Tough Bret or a Clothes Horse?)

  108. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Liz (#101):
    Ha, that’s great!
    You can also call it “Garbage Bail Kids”, I guess!

  109. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#107):
    I think he’s gonna be Johnny “Nothing gold can stay.”
    All because his Mother sent him to his room.

  110. Ted Forth
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#2), @wossname (#13), @Marc (#39) & @Hogenmogen (#103): I just know we’re going to get some straight-up Battle of Endor scene recreations out of this Mark Trail storyline yet!

  111. Marc
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#51): Oh good, that’s a relief. Because by the looks of that pickup truck, It doesn’t seem likely that it has seatbelts. On the other hand, there is always the chance that “head through the windshield Rusty” might look better than the current model.

  112. Marc
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#56): Like vigorous hand holding and endless eye contact!

  113. Ray Sharky
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#106): I can’t wait for Tyler Durden to join his rightful place along side Ida Know and Not Me.

  114. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    JP: Yes, Bea, let’s TALK through this! That’s what we need to do, discuss some more amongst ourselves! That will surely lead to a consensus, which is only a few more meetings away from having a group decision! Sometime next year, we’ll begin to outline bullet points to be included in an action plan – but I’m getting ahead of myself, of course. I’m just giddy with the prospect of more TALKING.

  115. Marc
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#82): “Lisa always kicked me in the shin when she didn’t like what I was saying. So, you know, add that to your list of things to work on Carla…err…Cayla.”

  116. Chaze
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    MW – The more I live life, eh? That’s opposed to what? NOT living life? And if I’m not living life, does that make me Mary Worth?

    MT – That squirrel has been in way too many panels during this story run for it to be purely a random occurrence. Geez, listen to me. Everything in Mark Trail is a random occurrence. Still, what if Mark Trail were able to transmogrify himself? Wouldn’t a squirrel be a logical choice, based on what we know?

    Hi & Lois – You mean Curtis DOESN’T live in an apartment with black carpets and white walls decorated with modern art in a broad expanse of hallway? No vintage mint in box toys? Maybe having Ditto with him finally got Curtis inside Michele’s place.

  117. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Spidey: What happened to Clown-9′s webbing? No handcuffs, either? They don’t bother to even take his mask off? Sure I’ll smoke this cigar – pop! Oh my gosh, I didn’t see that coming! Remembering that these are the same cops that didn’t bother to go to Hardy’s apartment to catch him, it all seems to make sense.

    Given Clowny’s penchant for faking surrender and then escaping, now would be a good time. Kick Spidey’s ass on the way out while he’s got his back turned, too.

  118. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn & Jimbo’s conversation sounds like a conversation between Mozart and a young composer (don’t know if it’s true). The young composer asked Mozart how to compose. Mozart told him that he wasn’t old enough yet. “But you started writing at age 3. You had a whole symphany at age 5!” the young composer said. “Yes, but I didn’t have to ask anyone how to do it.”

    So one-arm-Jim is essentially saying “Yes, Dawn, I have a career. You are an emotional basket case who’s life ambition rises no higher than finding a lunch date.”

  119. NoahSnark
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Having introduced Billy to reality, Family Circus is posed to make the leap into existentialism. I look forward to seeing PJ dressed in black, lazily smoking a cigarette and saying “Life she is cruel, no?”

  120. Hogenmogen
    September 26th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    H&J: So putting a mountain of sugar on your cereal every morning won’t give you type II diabetes?

  121. Jamoche
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Remember, Greg, this is the most erotic spot on a woman’s face.

    And it’s her left cheek, so now you’ve just put a 9CL/Apt3G crossover in my head. Matter meets anti-matter, obnoxiously oversexed meets prudishly non-sexed.

  122. Snarkotix Addict
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Crank – Uh… has Batiuk exhausted all possible combinations of puns?
    Ten years ago?

  123. Chaze
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#114): Sam is mentally preparing his Power Point presentation, complete with SWOT analysis, pros and cons and agenda items for the group meeting.

    Topic?

    Bubba: Threat or Menace?

  124. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    The Kickstarter campaign to which I want to donate what little savings I have left is the one that someone here will no doubt soon organize to hire today’s FC cartoonist as Jeff Keane’s permanent replacement. And have this anonymous Good Artist start tomorrow on writing and drawing FW, too! Bull has been waiting far too long for a real humdinger of a just-like-old-times smackdown with Les. There would be no point in asking this mystery cartoonist to replace jackelrod on MT, though, since Rusty normally looks all broken and mutilated anyway.

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Zippy: Hey, remember a couple of weeks ago, I was asking about this horrible music I had heard on an Atlanta college station some years ago, consisting of some guy making bleats, honks, and farting noises on a saxophone mouthpiece for an hour?

    I think it was Mr. The Toad!

    // Sharp dresser, Mr. The Toad. I’ve always said so!

  126. Chad Sexington
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I must admit, before I scrolled down far enough to be able to read the caption on today’s Family Circus, I just sat and stared for a very long time, transfixed and delighted at the thought that Billy had just endured some horrible violence. Subsequently discovering that said violence had been enough to induce a crisis of faith that is now causing him to question the metaphysical hierarchy of the universe, which he had hitherto taken for granted… well that’s just gravy!

  127. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Most newspapers have a file of pre-written obituaries for celebrities, so they can just add the relevant details of how they died and then rush the obits into print. I assume they are doing this now for Andy Williams. (Of course, I suspect that the newspaper in Branson MO will go into their files and pull out a whole pre-written special edition, with a 100-page pictorial retrospective.) Is there such a system for Nancy cartoons? I can imagine that there’s a whole file cabinet of Aunt Fritzi Ritz musical tributes waiting to run, arranged in drawers labeled “ABBA” to “Ziggy Stardust”.

  128. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    MT-Cherry plans on giving the poachers wood but it won’t work because Cherry is unable to give guys wood in the Mark Trail world.

  129. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    For some reason, I feel in the mood today to get on the Innertubes and order a new key chain!

  130. Vince M
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#85): I don’t go to the strip very much, but I think they’ve been going at it for a decade at least. I’m getting a creepy picture of a ‘wistful Fritzi’ blank template and an eye on the obituaries.

  131. Vince M
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#127): Erk. uhh, Jinx! I owe you a Pepsi.

  132. Red Greenback
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Maaaw! Curtis is guest starring in Hi and Lois FOR NO GOOD REASON!

  133. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    FC-Billy, who do you think told the angry mob about you?

    Herb and Jamaal-You should switch from salt to arsenic. It’s a lot more healthier.

  134. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#132):

    Curtis, if you are to guest star in a comic strip for no good reason then appear in “Pearls Before Swine”.

  135. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G-It’s the only spot that I have any feeling left.

  136. Morgan Wick
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#77): “GT: Thorp is a sports strip. How did it take this long to add a slimy sports agent who talks about himself in third person?”

    Because it’s a high school sports strip. It would have to be a slimy “agent” who wants to sell “access” to players under the table to unscrupulous colleges – the sort of profession whose very existence is not only slimy but illegal and thus doesn’t exist in Gil Thorp’s version of idealized Whereversville suburbia. (Though that doesn’t explain why none ever showed up in the basketball storylines before the NBA imposed its age limit.)

  137. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#134): Maaa! Curtis is guest-starring in Hi and Lois for no good reason! Waah!

  138. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#137): Oh, dammit! Just saw that duplicated somebody above me. And here I was thinking I was being original!

  139. tallyHO
    September 26th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#132):

    Next up, in a special Hi & Lois:

    In Thirsty’s overgrown backyard, Thirsty is cornered by an engraged Cuss Skunk, who has been throwing back a few drinks.

    In the yard next door, Hi & Lois stand next to their fence watching the debacle. Lois comforts the sobbing wife of Thirsty while Hi thinks:

    “Lois got her real estate agent license anticipating this moment when we need Plan B–to move from here.”

  140. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#89): …figure out some way to get Monty Python and MST3K in there.
    Dr. Evil Pantomime Horsehead.
    Um. …Forrester.

  141. Chaze
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#137):

    “Mommy!! Ditto brought Curtis into our strip FOR NO GOOD REASON!”
    – Dot Flagston

  142. HAnzMFG
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s aggressive proselytizing at the local college campus did not end well. Dolly is still MIA.

  143. HAnzMFG
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    So not only does Herb have a giant box of salt, but the company that produced it likes to put little proverbs and words of wisdom to read, in case you pull a nasty prank on your friend and need a little consolation for your crimes.

  144. Sorcerer Mickey
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    It seems Ensign Billy has discovered the hard truth about redshirts on away teams.

  145. Greg
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    I like the dramatic chiaroscuro in the Family Circus today. It’s like a Caravaggio, but with less crucifyin’. Any way we could be rectifyin’ that?

  146. Illustrator Steve
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    MT –
    One big old dead log placed across a big old truck’s path =
    One big old demolished truck =
    Ejection of one mutant kid and his little dog through big old truck’s windshield =
    One big old mess to clean up somewhere in their area of Lost Forest.

  147. sporknpork
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    So when can we buy the commemorative plate of today’s Family Circus?

  148. Baka Gaijin
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    I get the idea Arlo has no idea what the term “detumescence” means.

  149. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Greg (#145): rectified? darn near killified ‘em!

  150. Tangerine
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Gross. Really? Gross, gross, gross.
    (I actually said that aloud, spontaneously, as I read the strip.)
    The extra level of squick doesn’t come from Amos wanting Edda on display as a sex object–HIS sex object!–but from the creepy team-up with Seth.

    Her relationship with him is supposed to be completely platonic–well, on Seth’s end, anyway–and that makes him the closest thing she has to a male relative.

    And one of the joys of platonic/familial relationships is knowing unquestionably that you are valued for your non-sexual qualities, and that the people who value you thus feel a sense of protectiveness of you, a visceral negative reaction to the idea of you being sexually objectified.

    Two men who supposedly love you proudly shaking hands over how your sexuality has been commodified is not cute or funny. It’s dehumanizing and anti-feminist, and I’m starting to understand how some ‘Mudgeons have lost their ironic enjoyment of this strip and now refuse to read it.

    Afterthought: but wasn’t it clever, how Brooke set it up so we all thought that Amos was being emotionally overcome by the sight of the woman he loved wearing the dress she was planning to marry him in? Haha! It’s actually just a wedding cosplay negligee and he’s just turned on by seeing her boobies through it! Oh, mercy! (Whew! Irony regained.)

  151. Inkwell
    September 26th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m in awe. They have a perfect opportunity to play squeaky clean suburban child Ditto against a loud-mouthed, hotheaded inner-city boy, and they don’t even try to milk it for humor.

    I’m not a fan of either strip, and yet I’m convinced that I could do that crossover better than the Walkers could.

  152. Illustrator Steve
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    MT – Cherry, while trying to emulate her missing husband’s vigilante mannerisms, takes matters into her own hands by lassoing the ‘Log-O-Justice’ to put an end to these villainous poaching sheep killing kidnappers once and for all.

  153. tallyHO
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Sometime last week I asked if the place and the neighborhood for Family Circus is ever really shown. Like if neighbors stopped by or there were block parties of something.

    I have to guess that Billy is walking though the front door of their house. If so, that is one desolate neighborhood. Makes ya wonder if beyond that sidewalk there is some ghostly, schmoo-like figure smoking a cigar, traipsing along and swinging a scythe, clearing away the husks of Happiness Past, while singing “Bringing in the Sheaves”.

  154. Illustrator Steve
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    MT – It’s about time someone started clearing out the dead wood around that place!

  155. Rusty
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#79): The artist who took over the zombie years is a wannabe country singer/composer from Connecticut who recently relocated to Nashville to try to make it in the music biz. He also was the creator of the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen on a comics page, Night Flights and Pillow Fights, which featured a weekly softcore fairy to soften the evangelical proselytizing.

  156. Tangerine
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#104): Moose and Midge! Moose and Midge!
    I love it. I think the most enchanting part would be getting to see Tiffany display genuine, endearing affection for another human being. She could be a three-dimensional character!

  157. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#32):

    Is Ditto the real Gunk?

    Oh my God, how did we not see it before? When he huffs model paint his eyes go vertical and he starts raving about Flyspeck Island.

  158. Illustrator Steve
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    MT – Careful, Cherry! That ground cover of rotted alge and dusty green mold that Trigger keeps kicking up has become airborn which could prove harmfull or even fatal if inhaled by humans, horses or big old dogs. Plus, it’s a real bitch trying to get an emergency medical service canoe up that overgrown mountain path!

  159. Daniel
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Tundra and Ballard Street have the most terrifying fetishes possible to show in non-specialist newspapers (udder inflation and “luggage-play,” respectively).
    Argyle Sweater To quote one of the entries on CakeWrecks, “Go die in a car fire.”

  160. Illustrator Steve
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    MT – Jackelrod’s choice of colors used for the ground and scenic background looks just like the way I felt when I had food poisoning. At least you can recover from food poisoning.

  161. Tangerine
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Liz (#101): Dang. I was totally going to make the “Garbage Pail Kid” joke! But I didn’t have a graphic or a name, so it’s good you got yours in first. And it’s my desktop background . . . Now.

  162. Consul, the Almost Human
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Tiffany manipulates big dude into being her enforcer

    S4th: Progress. But why is there a nagging feeling that the Forths will be homeless by Saturday?

  163. Gringo
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Hey, everybody, it’s a Curtis-Hi and Lois crossover!

    Let’s hope that when the car slides in the snow and runs atop Dot, Curtis and Ditto don’t go running for Lois to lift the car off and instead choose to let nature take its course.

  164. Gringo
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    FC: That zomebie apocalypse outside the Keane Compound is hell to deal with during those provision runs into the nearby abandoned town.

  165. Gringo
    September 26th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    A3-G: Lu Ann gets quickly sucked into yet another Linski-type cult. Can a trip to New Jersey be far off?

  166. Dr. Weird
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    FC

    A slightly disturbing take on the Family Circus… Perhaps it was actually drawn by Jeff Keane instead of being an updated one by Bil. But Billy is based on the oldest Keane son Glen, who is a hugely successful animator at Disney, while Jeff is stuck maintaining the Family Circus and being the head of the National Cartoonist Society. So much attention lavished on the beaten body of his older, more successful brother?

  167. Peanut Gallery
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    RwO – I believe the correct response is “over my dead body.”

    H&J – Seems more like a case of intelligence giving fear to fools. The quote would be more apt if, say, someone told Herb his blood pressure was dangerously high, and his resulting fear inspired him to research the dietary connection.

    H&L, panel 2 – Mondrian never would’ve used those colors.

  168. Dood
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: Please, please, please Flagstons, observe the Festival of Kwanzaa this year.

  169. This Guy
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Curtis & Ditto: The cross-over nobody asked for! Two bad tastes that taste worse together! Not since The Flintstones Meet the Jetsons has such searing mediocrity been splashed across the screen!

  170. Alter Ego
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#84): Good one!

    Zits – Jeremy’s next line: “I’m too young fer this shit.”

  171. Chip
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    I’m dating myself, but back in 1977 my friend and I both bought Star Wars Action figures. I opened mine and played with them, and my friend tucked his away unopened. I always busted on him for that, yet now they are worth more than my car, and I don’t even HAVE mine any more.

  172. Thomas T.
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    That Hi & Lois is astounding. I laughed for five minutes at work at its wrongness and had a very very very hard time explaining to a coworker what was so funny.

    Also, a google search turned up a book that says that Lt. Flap from Beetle Bailey (which as we all know occupies the same Walkerverse as Hi & Lois) showed up in Curtis 24 June 1990, and is in fact revealed to be Chutney’s uncle!
    http://books.google.com/books?id=HE2_Vam2oZ4C&pg=PA12&lpg=PA12&dq=hi+and+lois+curtis+crossover

  173. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 26th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#171):

    I had the whole set, the ones with the plastic light sabers that you pushed out of the arm, and the plastic capes. Plus, the X-Wing fighter that the R2D2 figure could fit in and the landspeeder with the retractable wheels. Tore open the box as soon as I got one home and took it to the sandbox to play with.

    I’m afraid to even look up how much the set would be worth now.

  174. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#171): Yeah, but you had fun with them.

  175. fluffy
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Hi-and-Curtis: Nothing makes you appreciate the artistry of a newspaper comic artist more than seeing his character drawn by a much worse newspaper comic artist.

  176. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#95):
    Does this mean that Billingsley is a secret friend of Francis Ford Coppola?

  177. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#146):

    Don’t worry they will get another Rusty to replace the dead one.

  178. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-I use these to bribe the bullies who bother me.

  179. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Actually, Lu Ann, Greg wants to go down.

    MT-Cherry is secretly hoping that she will kill Rusty.

    RMMD-”Of course I don’t know what you guys are going to do without a refrigerator once we move it.”

  180. Doug
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Billy must have been trying to get today off from school for Yom Kippur with that ersatz Star of David. Fortunately for Judaism, someone alerted the Jewish Defense League who took proper and righteous action. Well done, gentlemen! No need to atone for this! And Billy – you’re no Ferris Bueller.

  181. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    September 26th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    FC – Where’s the blood!…Where’s the blood! /Clara Peller

  182. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#174):

    All of this toy talk reminds me of “Toy Story 2″.

  183. LanceThruster
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    FC – Every time Billy gets a tooth knocked out, an angel gets its wings.

  184. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts! (#182): Indeed. I never liked the idea of hoarding things that you never even enjoy to begin with, but damn if that movie didn’t perfectly crystalize it.

    “Dragons may not have much real use for all their wealth, but they know it to an ounce as a rule, especially after long possession; and Smaug was no exception.”
    - The Hobbit

  185. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    FC-I got into this truck with two strange men and as we were driving down this country on the way to get ice cream that they promised me this log comes flying out of nowhere crashing into the truck.

  186. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#97): Now I’m picturing one of those “cuts of beef” steer drawings, but with a female outline….

    And you all are seriously funny today, I predict many CsOTW out of this thread!

  187. Calico
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @LanceThruster (#183):
    Heh, I was thinking of this phrase a few weeks ago for no apparent reason. Now I know why.

    Why isn’t there a Curtis/FC crossover? Broken teeth and all that.

  188. bats :[
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    FC: gads! There isn’t even enough space for me to add stigmata or a crown of thorns!

  189. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal-The big question is how much sugar does Herb like. I’m worried about him being a diabetic more than him having high blood pressure.

  190. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Looking at the toys in the background the third box from the left says horse head. When did they have a “Godfather” toyline?

  191. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    FC-And from that moment on Billy learned never drive through Riverdale.

  192. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    MW-I know the perfect calling for you, Dawn. You can be the subject of an aggressive stalker. When he kills you the cops won’t be able to pry his hands from your cold lifeless body.

  193. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    H&L: I hope today’s strip is just the opening installment of a story arc that has the boys going next door, finding Thirsty passed out drunk, and tossing light bulbs out the window to attract the attention of garbage men Abercormbie and and Fitch.

  194. anon
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Tangerine (#150):
    . Though my very first thought was, Amos is flummoxed yet AGAIN by seeing Edda’s boobs through a transllucent dress? He’s seen them a thousand times before and yet the very sight near paralyzes him with lust? AGAIN? But the last panel? Yeah, I so agree with you, that’s a good analysis of this fustercluck of relationships.

  195. The Ridger
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#174): So Sunday I watched a mystery movie that seems to be in a series called Mystery Woman – I don’t remember what this entry was called. But it opened when the bookstore owner came in gloating over a first-edition Agatha Christie, for whom she had a buyer already lined up. Her … partner? employee? token black character who (of course) had magical tech skills and also was (of course) much older than our heroine (so there could be not the slightest hint of a romance between them) … started bitching about people who buy first editions and wrap them in plastic and never read them. When you buy a bottle from a great vintage, he ranted, you don’t let it turn to vinegar in your cellar; you drink it.

    Well, yes. But two things occur to me. First, that first edition isn’t going to go bad. As long as somebody’s willing to pay for it, it will hold its value. Nobody’s going to look at it and exclaim “Oh, you waited too long to read it! All the print as melted away!”

    And second – how the hell does he know the owner of that book didn’t buy a second copy to read?

  196. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 26th, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#177): All together now: “WE’RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER RUSTY!!

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#186): A friend of mine had a poster like that in junior high. Just dirty enough that we were all impressed his parents let him have it on the wall, and just clean enough they shrugged it off. (He’s a priest now.)

  197. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#195): So he’s got a second copy. All that means is that one copy that someone could be getting some joy out of is now locked away in someone’s hoarding pile, until such time as it is liberated A. by someone who actually will put it to the use for which it was meant all along, not another hoarder, and B. typically by means of exorbitant payment which is only exorbitant because of people who hoard things for prospective cash value creating artificial scarcity. The fact that it’s less likely to decay than, say, wine is basically irrelevant when it’s never going to do anybody any good anyway.

  198. Mysterion
    September 26th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    …and Billy just broke the first two rules of Fight Club.

  199. debussy fields
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    MW– “The more you live life, the more you’ll understand yourself.” So true. By the age of 99, Dawn will finally have a real grasp on it: “I want to be a stripper!”

  200. tallyHO
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps I should take the time to read older Herby Jammies…Herb and Tamales?

    Herve & Jamaricquai? oh. Herb & Jamaal. ha ha. It is right on the top of this page!

    The two main characters seem closer than a couple of peas in a pod that a farmer left in his back pocket. If…you know what I mean.
    In other words, the two of them seem like they don’t quite belong in a back pocket…If you know what I mean.
    In other words, the two them seem like vegetable seeds.

    //I couldn’t help it! I tried to not let it become a riff too far.

    Seriously, why would one be able to fool the other by switching sugar and salt? Herb’s married and Jamaal lives elsewhere, right? Oooooohh! That’s right!
    They own some sort of restaurant, don’t they? And, the phallic headed one just happens to eat bowls of cereal there.

    Is it a successful restaurant? If they serve breakfast, I’d hope they wouldn’t have time to eat bowls of cereal.

  201. tallyHO
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    I made fun of Family Circus (and of many others yesterday) but, one more thing:

    Hypothetically, if Billy’s Guardian Angel has the day off then there are days when he is on the clock.

    On those days when the GA is working, Billy doesn’t get the crap kicked out of him? He doesn’t fall down a flight of stairs at the hospital?

    Somehow his Guardian Angel has come through for him before. This just raises the question: what the heck is Billy’s daily routine other than…oh my!

    I never really thought about it…

    That dotted line that Billy follows when he’s procrastinating. That isn’t a dotted line nor is it following him. Those are the footprints of his Guardian Angel!
    What an idiot I am!!!!

    St. Pegleg Squarefoot, the Patron Saint of Procrastination! Most notable for eschewing shoes and choosing sandels… to carry around, tossed over his shoulders. He didn’t wear them because he never got around to putting them on! So, instead he just looked as cool as possible and he got beat up a lot for being a hipster who had to hop around! He was a hipster hopper!

    It all comes together! It is also explains why Billy’s one shoe is off and he isn’t wearing socks! It is right there!

    Silly me!

  202. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    September 26th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Contains: salt
    Sodium Content: high
    Sodium per 100 g: 100 g

    My GOD!

  203. bats :[
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

  204. seismic-2
    September 26th, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    FC: Isn’t Billy’s guardian angel in fact his dead grandpa? Did he finally get off his cloud?

  205. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    FC-And when you see Dolly tell her she better be ready for a rematch.

  206. Liam
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-Oh it’s the latest dance he’s practicing. I thought Curtis was having a seizure.

  207. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#203):

    Very funny, but it needs some blood!

    Make it so!

  208. Poteet
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    A3G — WHOA, holy shmoly, how much did she have to drink???!!! This is A3G we’re in and Lu Ann we’re looking at! For an ordinary woman in the real world, this cheek-kiss request is the equivalent of stripping naked and asking him to do her in the ass!

  209. Poteet
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

  210. Poteet
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    MW — It’s helpful to be informed that Dawn is young, because judging from the way she looks from day to day, she could be anywhere between eighteen and seventy.

  211. Poteet
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    JP — When it’s prairie-seed harvesting time, I try to provide fruit drinks and cookies. If Avery did that, maybe he could get his photos back. Especially since Bubba’s special harvest may cause really severe munchies.

  212. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    September 26th, 2012 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#103): Oh, come on. Surely the dashboard or the windshield will dodge Rusty’s flying form due to their desire to not have his grotesque face come into contact with them. So Rusty will just go flying out of that truck through the air until he comes into contact with something so large that it’s indifferent to his hideousness. I figure it’s Jupiter.

  213. Droopy Says
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Spider-bland: So the fifth wheel breaks down the fourth wall to deliver a message that doesn’t mean anything. In some pointless way, nobody wins.

    Les and Lesser: Quick, Creepy, stand up and deliver a stirring message about how much pain college expenses cause you, personally. I’m sure the economy will restructure itself just to shut you up.

    Family Circus: The sad thing is, Jeffy asked Dolly why Noah didn’t have any fish on the Ark.

    Pluggers: Pluggers can’t believe the rich would sell their Caddies. After all, can’t they afford to keep buying new NAPA parts to keep them running?

    Mark Trail: Okay, Cherry, what are you going to do when you catch them? Scold them? Because I don’t think your bullet bra is much of a weapon in the Trailiverse.

    Jugs Parker:
    Week 1: Avery and Sam talk about looking for Bubba.
    Week 2: Avery and Sam go out to find Bubba.
    Week 3: Avery and Sam argue with a guard.
    Week 4: Bubba arrives.
    Week 5: Avery throws a tantrum to get his camera back.
    Week 6: Bubba beats Sam and Avery to death with a shovel.
    Week 7: Bubba digs a shallow grave for Sam and Avery.
    Week 8: Bubba buries Sam and Avery. Face down.

  214. Maggie the Cat
    September 27th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    9.27 A3G- Let the Luann-masterbatory comments begin.

  215. Joe Btfsplk
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    Has Apartment 3-G ever attempted to produce an actual gay character before? Because if they were going to introduce one, this is probably kind of how they’d do it.

  216. Joe Btfsplk
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois – Most of that stuff will never be valuable enough to be really worth the bother. There’s no market at all for Star Tfek stuff; might as well go ahead and rip that one open. The Evil Dr. Horse Head figure, now, it depends. If he has the very rare original mane and tail made of real horsehair, he could be worth a mint; if it’s the usual molded plastic hair, then maybe ten or fifteen bucks. Super Cartoon Cool Man, with the original companion story book in its wrapper, probably forty bucks; by itself, I’d say twenty on a good day. The FrameFormer and Buzz Ugh are each worth about thirty, though a collector desperate to complete the *Former series might give you fifty for that one. The irony is, that’s Honus Wagner’s bat leaning against the wall there, and Curtis has no idea what he’s swatting rocks with every day.

  217. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    Frt!
    Ah!
    Frt!
    Ah

    That is the sound of the man.
    working Elrod’s Brain.
    Gaaaang!

    Could the truck in the last panel look anything more like old clip art? Obviously, Andy Dog is just a larger version of the image from yesterday’s strip (maybe a tongue was added to this one)

    M. Worth Hate to make her sound cool. But, any one who can pull a hot, uncooked pie out of the oven and deliver empathy is alright in my…Waitasec…why is the uncooked pie being taken out and passed around is the some Meddlewegian tradition I’m missing out on?

    a3 Gadzooks!
    S-s-she’s b-b-b-bubbling with contentment!
    //not often a comic strip involving a tub soaking invokes men who “turn heads”
    @Joe Btfsplk (#215): LuAnn or her New Man?

    If he gives LuAnn a box and she opens it, is excited that he gave her a mink stoll and she motions for him to put on her and he goes:

    No, no, LuAnn. You misunderstand. You don’t drape that over your shoulders. It is a beard!

    If that happens, this strip is about to Get Real and then get back to Being Fake Again.

  218. Comcis Fan
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary gets so excited about handing Dawn that plaster of Paris pie that her eyes are crossing. Merely anticipating their conversation is giving her a snoopgasm.

  219. Comcis Fan
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s great, because volunteering at the hospital is all about me meeting guys! I found just the vulnerable, wounded patient for me!

  220. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    spider-man

    The second panel was made for the reader! J. Jonah’s better half is breaking the Fourth Wall! (We’re doomed!)

    I’m taking that as a sign of six more weeks of Clown-9 like incompetence.

  221. tallyHO
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    cripes. what kind of condition was my prepositions in? I seem to have forgotten a few in the post before the last one.

    sheesh.

    I believe I finally saw one of those barriers to Snuffy Smif. I was supposed to watch an ad before I could read it.

    It seems like a small price to pay for…I dunno…getting paid to watch an ad. But, it is only Snuffy Smif!
    A week’s worth of Fire fighters fighting Fire Aliens?
    Maaaaybe I’d watch an ad to see that. I’d be on the fence about that being worth it. But, it seems more worth it than Snuffy Smif.

    Bah humbugger!

  222. Dale
    September 27th, 2012 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#202):

    100g of table salt (sodium chloride) would have 39g of sodium.
    Actually, 39.33xx. There is a rounding issue and whether the salt is iodized.
    Also the allowance for rat droppings and insect parts.

  223. Dale
    September 27th, 2012 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#213):

    MT –

    It’s a fairly safe bet that Andy will know to attack whichever poacher has a gun.
    After that, too many stupid and mutually exclusive possibilities to list.

    Could Cherry and horse actually have moved the log? In the time available?
    What is the direction of travel relative to the log and conveniently placed boulders? Did Cherry know about them in advance?

  224. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    September 27th, 2012 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    “I had no idea of the things that are dangerous to high blood pressure.” “…I might be contributing to his death.” Something other now inhabits Herb’s husk. And it knows not which side of the box to consult for salt content.

  225. Droopy Says
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#223): And, because today’s third panel shows that the truck can drive off-road, does it really matter if Cherry blocks the road? For that matter, what good will it do the sheepkilling Rustynappers to get to the airport? They’d probably have to file a flight plan, which could look funny all in itself: “Point of departure, LoFo International. Destination: southern part of the state, after flying over a big deep lake to dispose of two mutant creatures.” But they’ll never make it that far. When they see the truck they’ll stop, get out, look at the log, scratch their heads and say “This fallen log is blocking the road!” “That’s right! The log must have fallen here after we drove up this way!” “I think we should move the fallen log out of our way!” Rusty and Sassy will run away while the bad mens have their hands full. Then the giant squirrel’s offspring will jump out of the log and arrest them. And once again the Fists o’ Justice will miss their chance to sock someone.

  226. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    @Joe Btfsplk (#215):

    I was under the impression that Evans might be gay. His ambition in life is to be as catty and bitchy like Margo.

  227. Liam
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:28 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#214):

    That tickling feeling isn’t from the bubbles.

  228. John C Fremont
    September 27th, 2012 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    Pluggers sell their Caddies when they win their free Montezoomba Triple E Model Super 8.

    MT – That truck looks like this one Tonka truck I had as a kid. A puny log like that wouldn’t stop these guys if they’d have upgraded to a Mighty Mo.

    PBS – I want to believe that the reference to Old Man Johnson’s farm is not so much a shout-out to Prince as to the Hindu Love Gods. I have a rich fantasy life.

  229. gleeb
    September 27th, 2012 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    3-G: There’s nothing as relaxing as a bathtub full of ping pong balls.

    Archie: Actually, having parents that are non-readers can result in children who do not read, and thus have poor language skills. So, Archie or his old man could have written that. Ball’s in your court, Grundy.

    Dick: Sam suffers the humiliation of having soiled himself in addition to having been caught by a guy who looks like a catfish. I think they’re slowly trying to make this a gag comic.

    Mark: In the resulting crash, Rusty will be killed and Sassy can go on to have a happy life free of him.

    Zig: While he doesn’t want to morally censure them, Zig wants them to know they won’t have any offspring.

  230. KreatureFeatures
    September 27th, 2012 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    Just got back from a long computer-free vacation, but I must say it’s good to be back, reading a very funny group of Curmudgeon comments. I particularly enjoyed Liam’s FC comments about driving through Riverdale, and the guardian angel getting a few kicks in while Billy was curled on the ground. My alternative FC caption: “Today was a real clusterfuck. Also, PJ is dead.”
    P.S. On vacation I met a desk clerk who had a Dawn haircut, and it didn’t work for her either.

  231. TJ
    September 28th, 2012 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    I get the feeling that the artist for Family Circus enjoyed drawing this a bit too much.

  232. Guest
    September 30th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Is Hi and Lois the next stage of comic outsourcing mishaps, in which third parties mix up not only colors but characters? Curtis isn’t broke, but the only things I remember him collecting are music and comic books, and always to use, not store unopened. What would even set him on the path of serious toy collection? He’s an impulsive boy of action, not a hoarder.

    The insular, suburbanite Flagston family, on the other hand, with all their disposable income available to waste on things they’ll never use….

    It’s one of those unintentionally revealing moments, like making $10,000 bets with a straight face, or asking for a driver at a car rental.

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