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“These hands are life-givers! Yours are just awkward, useless beast-paws!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/7/12

So Rex Morgan saved a lady’s life with CPR and has, in his inimitable way, been a sullen dick about it ever since. Everyone’s been thanking him and telling him that he’s on YouTube and the world thinks he’s a hero and he’s just gotten madder and madder about it. I sincerely hope he uses this impromptu press conference as an opportunity to just tell everyone in the world how dumb they are and how much he hates them. “Yes, if administered correctly, CPR absolutely saves lives! Too bad most of you incompetent yahoos won’t do it correctly, leaving a trail of corpses with shattered sternums behind you. Here, here’s my long list of everything that’s wrong with everyone who’s not me!”

B.C., 11/7/12

Whoa, did B.C. just make a radical statement on the day after the election, announcing that our democracy is nothing but a sham and that the military-industrial complex is the true winner no matter how we vote? I mean, probably not, but the alternative explanation is gibbering madness, so let’s say yes.

Pluggers, 11/7/12

Pluggers, meanwhile, are glad that pesky election stuff is over so they can concentrate on what’s really important to them: their disgusting bodily functions, and pills that might make them even more disgusting.

182 responses to ““These hands are life-givers! Yours are just awkward, useless beast-paws!””

  1. Mumblix Grumph
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I don’t know about you guys, but I’m scared shitless by the face of whatever the hell is half obscured in panel three.

  2. lorne
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    “Is there a message in what you did today?” asked a TV reporter who could only exist in the imagination of a lonely weirdo who knew nothing about television or journalism.

  3. Justin
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    16,987 political commercials in the past year. Let’s assume about 6 per half-hour program. That gives us 2,831 half-hour segments of TV (rounded down). Divide by 2, then by 365, and you get just slightly less than 4 hours of TV per day on average.

    You’re a plugger if TV disgusts you yet you have nothing better to do than spend 1/6 of your life in front of it.

  4. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD – “And that message is – where is my #$@! boat! I saved some antique crone’s life, and all I get is free clams? You should all be down on your knees sucking my dick right now. And – again – where the $^&$ is my #%&$ boat!”

  5. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    JP-”Yeah. What’s this CPR stuff you people keep saying that I did? All I saw was a woman who passed out and I just had to cop a feel.”\

    MW-”Is it something I’ve done, Dawn? I can change. Is it the sandwich thing? I can cut down on my sandwiches.”

    Spiderman-Damn you, Spiderman. You’re ruining rehearsals.

    FW-Don’t worry we lost interest as soon as he opened his mouth. Right even before words crossed his lips we didn’t care.

    Crankshaft-”Yeah. I should have run the little brat over.”

    MT-”And to prove that I’m in Miami I shall have the camera pull back to show off the Miami skyline. Yep that’s the Miami skyline alright and not some generic city skyline.”

  6. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    [D]id B.C. [state] … that the military-industrial complex is the true winner no matter how we vote? … [P]robably not, but the alternative explanation is gibbering madness…

    I don’t think it’s either/or proposition — both propositions can be true … for my part, I dream of a day when we may rise above the billows to drag down in our reeking talons the remnants of puny, war-exhausted mankind.

    A3G: Woah, Evan’s straight-up lying to Skyler about Margo’s intentions, which means that he’s lying to Margo about Skyler’s intentions. I’m not sure what his end-game is, but maybe he is a good fit for Ms. Margo “Machiavelli” Magee after all!

    HiLo: Hi has tapped into my deepest fears.

    Ziggy: As in, “explain why large, lumbering Austrian men keep trying to kill you,” or just, you know, explains things, like why the sky is blue and such?

  7. Downpuppy
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Pluggers is somehow off. Sure, there’s the fat bear in front of a TV sort of resenting the flow of life. Sure, it’s bleak. But what … OMG! Who let a joke in?

  8. Mibbitmaker
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    BC: There are no jihadists in BC, just commies.

    RMMD: Can’t top Josh on this. Moving on…..

    Pluggers: The barely lesser of two evils.

  9. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    A3G – “You’d think Margo would be glad that one of her clients just landed a lead in a major production – that this is the kind of positive result that publicists use to build their reputation. But this is Margo’s Publicity and Fishing Bait Shoppe. Her heart really isn’t in it. In fact, next week she will probably suddenly make the timely decision to become a political consultant. At least, in that field, competence is not needed to be successful. You can fail over and over and over again, and still be on the short list for the next election cycle.”

  10. Downpuppy
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    closure fail! Now I’m a real Mudgeon

  11. But What Do I Know?
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    RMMD — “And there you have it, folks! CPR, when correctly administered, can save lives! We now return you to our regularly scheduled program covering the news of the day, including some kind of election everyone seems to be talking about. But first, this message about disgusting bodily functions!”

  12. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MT: I’ve never been to Miami, but does it really look like every other LoFo-related city, except with foregrounded water birds instead of giant squirrels?

  13. Buck Ripsnort
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: The disgusting political ads are gone, just in time for the disgusting Holiday ads! Yay for Santa shaving his ass as he slides down the slope to B.C. Clarke’s Anniversary Sale!

  14. Hibbleton
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Frig! Here I am talking to you bozos while my wife is getting a free meal!

  15. Digger
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are greatly offended by political ads, mainly because these ads suggest that they get off their asses and go vote. Pluggers aren’t offended by voting, just the getting off their asses part.

  16. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Everyone stop yelling – the election is over!

  17. The Modesto Kid
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    I have a dream of a comic strip mash-up called “Trail Mix”, in which Mark T. puts in appearances in various soap opera strips, solving problems with violence. Also he could show up in Luann and beat up Brad, just because. A-and dare I say it, a collaborative crime-fighting spectacular with Dick T.?

  18. gleeb
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Elections come and go, but the delightfully whimsical Ed remains. Here he’s remaining steadfast in the face of evidence that he deliberately endangered a little schoolgirl’s life.

    ‘bean: See, what I said before. Owen has a characterization: it’s that he’s an idiot. Thin, but Batiuk’s doing his smug, didactic best.

    Rex: “Now get this microphone out of my face, worm. I have a house full of strippers to return to.”

  19. gleeb
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Aw, nuts.

  20. Matthew
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    You’re a plugger if you have the side effects even though you aren’t taking the drug.

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: Seth got the news from Maine and Maryland. d’awww.

    Dilbert: featuring a Baka Gaijin worst-case scenario.

    Doons: “and if they don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of mine.”

    LaCuc: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    R&R: darn skippy!

    SBp: boing!

    Bizarro: and is AquaMan listening?

    Lockhorns: I’m guessing the Irish Coffee that Loretta is drinking. and the Quaaludes.

    Mutts: woowoo snoodles involve the owner being hawt.

    PMP: that’s a Lockhorns joke, innit? *goes to gouge out brain and eyes*

    RwO: would have been epic it was a corgi.

    SFx: featuring the best 3 minutes of Guard Dog (from Mutts) life in 3, 2, 1. . .

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .BOLD, baybee!

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#17): bats :[, this is your artistic opportunity of a lifetime!

  24. Steve
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD: What kind of doctor talks to journalists about a patient’s prognosis? A HIPAA-noncompliant doctor, that’s what kind.

  25. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    9CL – Notice that Seth is the only one who isn’t inspired to have sex with his partner by Amos’ cello playing. He just runs home to give his platonic boyfriend a big hug.

    To be consistent, he should be in the orchestra pit humping Amos and the cello. For their art!!

  26. seismic-2
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    This is the day after the election. We are supposed to seek closure.

    While we’re at it, can we roll back the clock an hour now, too?

  27. Marc
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    9CL- The uncontrollable eroticism of shitty cello playing apparently spans all sexual orientations.

    A3G- “Sorry Skyler, I think Margo is going to drop you. You see, Miss Magee prefers her clients to be as inactive as possible. The more acting jobs you secure, the more you upstage her, and Margo must always be at the forefront. So you can see how this big new role you’ve gotten has thrown a wrench in her plans and why she has to let you go. I on the other hand still want you, if you catch my drift…..”

    Mark Trail- It’s Cherry, Bill. You don’t need to keep repeating yourself over and over. She may be bland and uninteresting, but she is neither deaf nor senile.

    Mary Worth- Wilbur is utterly bewildered that Dawn is choosing to spend time with anybody but him. The look of shock in panel one coupled with his confusion and hurt in panel two is priceless.

    Luann- Trust me Tif, it won’t. Nothing ever affects a relationship in the Luanniverse except deportation.

    Funky- Bore me the fuck to death. Even Owen the Idiot is realizing what a loser Comic Book John is. If the comic book shop wasn’t the last place left in town with a vendo, he’d never come back.

    Hi & Lois- Has this strip ever even accidentally been funny?

  28. Ranger
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Recycled Panel Alert! 2/3rds of today’s Gil Thorp is reused panels. Panel 1 from 9/28 and panel 2 from 9/29

  29. Ranger
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Ok, who forgot to close the Bold tag?

  30. Stroker Ace
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if you obediently watch infomercials about your ration of government cheese. Enjoy comrade!

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in a Naylor strip. (implied squick, otherwise sfw.)

    Megatron kitteh.

    d’aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. (sweeter than a Shelter Week in Mutts.)

    terrierpuff brainmush. *squeee*

    plotting, for bb,u.

    ooohhh, Tish! *snap* *snap*

    Sailor Who. (for the fangirls)

    a .gif for bats :[.

    Jazz Paws!!! (otter)

  32. The Diceman
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Pluggers love the “smooth catheters” ads.

  33. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    BC: Yes, I was just thinking that the mayoral defense budget was too small. I’d like to see twice the number of armed militias in my town, in case we’re attacked by the ruffians in neighboring Roopville.

  34. Binder's Butter Beans
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD – so the “SD” on Rex’s hat stands for “sullen dick”! I like it.

  35. wossname
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MT – I’m worried about Jackelrod’s mental state. He seems to have an unhealthy obsession with pelicans lately. In this arc, I think we’ve seen more pelicans than people. Wait, what’d you say? They were having a two-for-one sale on pelicans at the Clip Art Store? Oh, that explains it.

  36. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#26): Pluggers want to roll the clock back 60 years.

  37. Greg
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    RexMD: “Now if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have to paint ‘Juden’ on various storefronts in the area…”

  38. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: CPR absolutely saves lives!

    News Guy: So if someone is, say, decapitated, CPR will save their life?

    RMMD: Absolutely.

    News Guy: And, can you tell us where you got your medical degree, “Doctor”?

  39. Nekrotzar
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    B.C. is sending a clear message to the electorate, and that message is “I’ve completely run out of ideas! Vote to replace me with a fresher, up-and-coming strip and put me out of my misery.”

  40. seismic-2
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Is there a message in what I did? Yes, it is that smelling salts are the 21st century’s true miracle drug!”

  41. Droopy Says
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#35): Don’t blame Elrod, it’s the fault of those loons at the T Rading Post. They’re now overstocked on the gum that people chew when they want to quit smoking, and the only way to clear the inventory is to give away a free pelican with each pack.

  42. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Funky: “You sound like a history lesson.”

    Hahahahaha! That’s hilarious, because Comic Book John is lecturing as if he was giving a lesson — in history! Hahahaha CANCER hahaha!

  43. Calico
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    RM, D-H: Would someone please jam that microphone up Rex’s @$$
    I’d enjoy seeing a Pluggers/RM crossover.

    B.C. – perhaps Frank Zappa was right after all!

    Phew, back to the comics.

  44. Illustrator Steve
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MT – @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#12): “I’ve never been to Miami, but does it really look like every other Lo-Fo related city?”

    Not even close, well…they DO have Pelicans!

    (This message is directed at Jack Elrod): I’ve been to Miami, I went to college in Miami, I worked with Miami! YOU, Mister Elrod are no Miami!

  45. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    S-M: Spider-Meh, indeed. “I got this,” he muttered.

    JP: Only Bubba knows that “Bea” is short for “Bear”, who is pre-op. Ah well, love is blind, right?

  46. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#39): That’s the opposite of what I’m reading. I see it as BC saying “I’m out of ideas, but if you try to replace me with a newer, fresher comic, I will spear you and your little dog, too!

  47. seismic-2
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    BC: Usually a spear is thrust into the ground point-first rather than tail-first, simply because it’s a whole lot easier. Since the mayor is doing it the other way around, we can guess at his master plan: stick another 50 or 60 spears in the ground like that, and you will have built defense.

  48. Mumbly_Joe
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I have to admit that I’ve been trying to narrow down the exact geographic niche that comprise Pluggers for quite some time, but it’s actually kinda a let-down to have the comic out and tell us that Pluggers reside exclusively in three counties in Ohio and two counties each in Florida and Colorado.

  49. Anonymous
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#44):

    Besides, if it WERE Miami all of the dialoge balloons would be written in spanish along with english sub-titles.

  50. pugfuggly
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    RMMD “So let that be a lesson to all you CPR-deniers out there: it definitely works better than either prayer or dark magic!”

    BC “Also, I seem to have invented iron smelting, which, in the paleolithic era, really should be main story here.”

    Pluggers The specific number cited in the caption leads me to beleive that after the 16 988th political ad, Brookins did indeed throw his TV out the window, thus establishing that threshold. I look forward to finding out how many inflamatory Rush Limbaugh post-election opinion pieces it takes before pluggers trade in their radio for a high-powered rifle.

  51. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Yes Rex, please tell us something about the one thing you still remember from medical school.

    BC: Peter’s thinking about putting his enemies’ heads on spikes. The whole “depopulating the world” thing is holding him back for now.

    MW: Wilbur looks disappointed that Dawn won’t be giving him a grandchild in the foreseeable future. He’s forgotten how lucky he was to extend the Weston line even for one more generation.

    FW: Here’s a hint, Owen. You know the door that brought you into the store? It can take you out, too.

    C-Shaft: Crankshaft openly admits to being incapable of remorse. Lena would be within her rights to terminate a confessed sociopath, wouldn’t she?

    BB: Amos faces a Hobson’s choice, since he definitely cares more about Miss Buxley’s appearance than her work.

    GT: I know what going Dutch is, so I assume “go Irish” means that the man and woman each pay for their own Guinness.

    Shoe: So Roz is about to euthanize her sister by beating her over the head with a ladle, right?

    PBS: Hey, don’t fight it, Stephan. Trump may end up buying you a yacht.

    DtM: Earth’s Sorceror Supreme Stephen Strange has reentered the medical field. Not sure why he’s Dennis’ pediatrician but I suppose you have to start somewhere.

    M-Dawg/H-Cliff: If these two hunger on the same night, no one is safe.

    S4th: You “revert” back to being a nerdy awkward kid? Ted, I don’t know how to tell you this…

    Lockhorns: Oh, Loretta was just talking about Teflon-coated bullets. Don’t trouble yourself about it.

    A3G: Actually, no. No he did not. Which proves that Margo’s hiring strategy is to take on other incompetents so she can apportion the blame to them.

  52. Meanwhile, down at CLIP ART CITY...
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#44): (RE: “Does Miami Florida really look like THAT?”)

    Jackelrod found that cityscape in one of his his clip art files labled, “MIAMI SKYLINE – 1951″

  53. terrapin
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    FW: Don’t feel bad, kid. He lost me three days ago.

    MW: “He’s missing his left arm, and foreplay is just…weird. I have a right breast you know!”

  54. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    SM: Didn’t Kraven’s blonde assistant already show that she was competent with the big cats – by saving Parker’s ass? Also, given Peter Parker’s constant dicking around for hours before he uses his powers (“I could save this woman’s life – but it might reveal that I’m secretly SPIDERMAN!“), why did he change into his spandex here, directly in front of a known enemy, especially when Kraven could have handled the situation?

  55. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @The Diceman (#32): The ones that use Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” with altered lyrics?

  56. Illustrator Steve
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    MT – While growing up in South Florida, located somewhere in the southern part of the state not far from a near by city, I never saw even ONE ALBINO PELICAN. …Lots and lots of BROWN Pelicans, but no ALBINO Pelicans.
    Now-A-days, Living along the beautiful rocky coast of Maine, located somewhere in the southern part of the state not far from a near by city, I’ve never seen ANY Pelicans at all! Just lots of sea gulls that seem to think their sole purpose in life is to steal my pier fries and fried clams!

  57. Austria
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    FC: Dolly has a sick, sick knack for schadenfreude.

    Pruggs: Wouldn’t that make most people Pluggers, then? I’d figure the true sign of a Plugger is one that threw his TV out the window by August.

  58. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    RMMD:

    “CPR? Wha? We were told that you transplanted the brain of a woman into the body of a kangaroo. CPR? No one sends two television news crews to do a story on goddamn CPR.”

  59. CanuckDownSouth
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#56): not albino, presumably American White Pelican, whose range does include all of Florida. Probably have to be by the right lake(s) for the whites one – the browns do see to dominate there and the brown range includes the whole coast.

  60. AhClem
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – See that little button on the front of the TV — the one that has a small circle with a vertical line through it? If you push that, the political ads will magically disappear!

    On second thought, a Plugger’s TV was probably built in the 1960s. In that case, turn the volume control knob counter-clockwise until it makes a clicking noise. Same result!

  61. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    A3G: Evan tries the pre-emptive dump! Freakin’ genius!

    Or, he’s been watching Seinfeld reruns.

  62. kingklash
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    I wish I could say something, but I’m still haunted by Cherry’s eyes from yesterday.

  63. Vanya
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: So you’re a plugger if you can’t afford a DVR?

  64. yaoi huntress earth
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is it just more or did John suddenly become 60-something and fatter?

  65. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Bill: Mark has been kidnapped by theives!

    Cherry: Wouldn’t that make them kidnappers, not theives?

    Bill: Mark has been kidnapped!

    Cherry: Rusty had a camera that got stolen by theives, not kidnappers. But before they were theives, they were poachers.

    Bill: Mark is kidnapped!

    Cherry: Of course, the poachers later kidanpped Rusty, so at that point they became kidnappers, too.

    Bill: Mark is – -

    Cherry: Bill, I hear you. But minor theft is a misdemeanor and it’s a state crime. Kidnapping carries federal felony charges. Does it make more sense to make introductions with the most heinous crimes listed first, or in chronological order?

    Bill: Kidnapped!

    Cherry: Yes. Again. Listen, I’ve got to pour some more coffee before I make pancakes. Tell Mark I said “Hi.”

  66. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Vanya (#63): Pluggers probably shop at BigLots to get blank VCR tapes.

  67. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @kingklash (#62): Her hair is Brillo brown,
    Ne’er been touched from hips to thighs,
    Pancakes fluffier than down,
    She’s got Cherry Davis eyes.

  68. Hart of Johnny
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Glad to see Rex Morgan doesn’t care about HIPPA.

    Also, I thought the BC syndicate would be in favor of increased defense spending. Are the heirs to Johnny Hart now doves or deficit hawks?

  69. Mark B.
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    To be serious for a moment, when I took CPR training, the instructor warned us that even if we did CPR correctly, we might end up breaking the sternum or ribs of the person we were trying to save, and not to be too concerned about that, because they would certainly die if CPR wasn’t administered when it was indicated. Having a broken rib or two is always preferable to death.

  70. hogenmogen
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#69): Hey, you know as much as Rex! Let me stick a microphone at your chin and ask “Is there is a message in what you do?”

  71. Ryan
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    More likely, B.C. is an edgy commentary on the Cold War arms race. B.C. will no longer lower itself to “topical” humor.

  72. pugfuggly
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#69):

    That’s why CPR is best performed by those with little to no empathy for human suffering. Take Rex: he has been conditioned to save human lives by being rewarded with extravagant riches by his grateful patients, but otherwise feels so little for his fellow man that the cracking of ribs by his own hands sounds sounds no different to him than the rustling of autumn leaves. And so he can continue performing CPR without ever flinching at the thought of the horrible agony he is inflicting on his patient to keep him alive.

    Ultimately, we should just be glad that he found his way into med school before anyone told him that he could make money by ending lives instead of extending them.

  73. Snarkotix Addict
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    MW – Hold it, ‘Wendy’ – you’re supposed to be the one with the answers, not asking the questions.

  74. Hibbleton
    November 7th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#72): …That’s why CPR is best performed by those with little to no empathy for human suffering.

    But then why would you bother giving CPR in the first place?

  75. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Zits-If Jeremy can’t do it through his cell phone then it’s not worth doing.

    Lockhorns-”Were you talking about your cooking? That goes into my mouth and then right out my ass.”

  76. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#74):

    @pugfuggly (#72): That’s why CPR is best performed by those with little to no empathy for human suffering.

    But then why would you bother giving CPR in the first place?

    To get your meals comped! DUH!

  77. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#74): For the free boats, vacations, clams, etc.

  78. pugfuggly
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#74):

    The cost-benefit analysis ratio of saving a life via a low-risk technique like CPR favours an intervention, particularly if you hang out with rick folks! Don’t you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?

  79. Alice
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I…what is Tiffany even talking about?

    Funky Winkerbean: Dude. Just slip a copy of McCloud’s Understanding Comics into the kid’s hands and be done with it. That’s a much more fun way to learn about the medium than listening to some guy with a bad haircut and 1989 Batman shirt drone on and on.

  80. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#74): CPR is best performed by those with little to no empathy for human suffering

    This is actually a recognized factor for many top surgeons. The ability to feel no emotional attachment for the patient, to not have to agonize over the possible repercussions of your actions, is highly sought after in, for example, brain surgeons.

    http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/The-Pros-to-Being-a-Psychopath-176019901.html

    “The most important thing when you’re conducting a dangerous operation, a risky operation, is you’ve got to be very cool under pressure, you’ve got to be focused. You can’t have too much empathy for the person that you’re operating on, because you wouldn’t be able to conduct that operation.” Surgeons do very nasty things to people when they’re on the operating table. If things do go wrong, the most important facet in a surgeon’s arsenal is decisiveness. You cannot freeze.’

  81. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#78): Yea, but if he cramps up or breaks a sweat, there goes Rex’s cost-benefit ratio.

  82. Baka Gaijin
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#13): WHAAAAATTTT????

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#21) on Dilbert: My mind just slid right past that. Thanks for bringing it up. Not kawaii, not kawaii dude. AAAAAHHH! [QLUNQ!]

    @terrapin (#53) on Mary Worth: Head to Target before all the Halloween candy is gone. You’re gonna need something sweet to throw from the COTW float!

  83. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#80): I’ll buy that. I know doctors who can’t actually stand patients very much, and specialize in lab work and pathology for that reason. They are very good at what they do, but are very emotionally detached.

    I had the opportunity to visit a pathology lab once, and the doctor — without pausing — looked at a cancerous thyroid sample said something like “This one’s a goner. A month, tops. What’s for lunch in the cafe today?”

    My wife had a similar experience with an OB/GYN when she had our second kid. “She (the attending doc) doesn’t have a soul, but I want her there if the ^&* hits the fan.”

  84. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mumblix Grumph (#1): That appears to be Greg Wilkins in RMMD panel 3.

  85. Bootsy
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Hey everybody! Haven’t posted in a while, nor have I seen this question posed. Why is the kid in Funky Winkerbean wearing pearls and a sherpa hat? I would greatly appreciate some clarification here.

  86. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#85): Oh, that’s just Owen being Owen.

  87. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#85): Bacause Batiuk can’t be bothered to draw the top of his head? That would explain the hat, anyway.

  88. Not Worth It
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    So, if refraining from defenestrating your tv is evidence that you are a Plugger, does that mean that non-Pluggers can be identified by the scattered remains of large flat-screens on their lawns?

  89. terrapin
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#82): Awwww…thanks!

  90. Hibbleton
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#80) et al:

    Doesn’t apply to giving CPR to a random passerby. Without empathy, there is no motivation.

  91. Bootsy
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

  92. DaveyK
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Leave it to RMMD to take a perfectly good plot about strippers and morph it into an object lesson about proper CPR technique.

  93. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#90): A friend of mine, a cardiologist, once saved a man having a heart attack on the street. Afterwards, all he could talk about was how powerful he felt holding a stranger’s life in his hands. He also constantly slagged on his patients, feeling that they didn’t really deserve his services because of their largely self-inflicted heart problems. He especially disliked his Amish patients and theirs families — he was willing to forgive them for availing themselves of the latest medical technology, but it really peeved him that they always took the elevator. Anyway — not much empathy coming from that guy.

  94. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @DaveyK (#92): I know! At least Woody Wilson could have lived up to his name and had Rex perform CPR on a stripper!

  95. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#91): Pearls complete any outfit. Just ask Mary Worth.

  96. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#Y129): And if I squint really hard, your version is (very oddly) more attractive!

  97. This Guy
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Agnes: Hey, a Vulcan might wear green blush, if makeup weren’t so illogical. Maybe a Romulan.

    Marvin: Not only did Watterson do this gag much, much better and much, much earlier, it was the same face. Holy shit, Armstrong.

    FC: It all returns to nothing
    It all comes tumbling down
    Tumbling down
    Tumbling down
    It all returns to nothing
    I just keep letting me down
    Letting me down
    Letting me down

    Ziggy: Do evil robots from the future explain legacy comics?

  98. drifter182
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Zits: “Geez, why do I have to pretend to show any affection or love for Grandma? If she’s not on social networking and doesn’t use her cell phone, then she’s as irrelevant to my life as the typewriter.”

  99. Chaze
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I see they’re still doing auditions for the strip. Personally, I think the couple in panel one is far more attractive than the couple in panel two. In fact, Evan #2 appears to have a misshapen head. Congrats, A3G, for giving the malformed a chance at a career in…..what?…. bad legacy strips?

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Not Worth It (#88): Guess Keith Moon wasn’t a Plugger, then.

  101. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Justin (#3): On one hand, you make an excellent basic point. On the other hand, in my swing state, I swear there were more than a dozen political ads per half hour of local news during the last two weeks. I muted them, but admit to ghastly fascination with just how many there were.

  102. Aesahaettr
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you’re too sedentary to heave your tuchus out of your recliner long enough to turn off the TV, much less defenestrate an aging cathode ray television.

  103. Chaze
    November 7th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    MT – Clearly, there is a Hitchcockian story brewing about the pelicans amassing and raising holy hell on southern Florida. Mark’s kidnapping is just the “maguffin” that supports that real story. In fact, Mark Trail has been a maguffin in search of a story for about thirty years now.

    JP – Bubba, just lay a big old smooch on Avery and get it over, willya? Dead wives and honoring memories have been the lies aging gay men have told for years.

  104. Chaze
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    MW – Isn’t Wilbur really asking Dawn why she isn’t having sex? Ewwww….

  105. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#103): I think I saw that movie! What was it called? Dial M for Mark? To Punch a Thief?

  106. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    I just noticed Lt. Uhuru in RMMD panel 1. Either that, or my meds are wearing off.

  107. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#106): Could be Queen Latifah.

  108. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    MW — I don’t understand why Dawn is so often shown in profile, gaaaaaah. Does Giella hate us that much?

  109. Little Blue Bicycle
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are still waiting for the “true” results from Ohio.

  110. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    JP — And in the list of comic-strip characters who should not appear in profile, Bubba, you’re right up there with Dawn. Sorry, but eww.

  111. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”And can you show us the proper way to do CPR so we don’t end up crushing somebody’s chest.”

  112. HAnzMFG
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Order of Business for today as Mayor:
    1. Purchase another spear
    2. Stick it in the ground next to other spear
    3. Lean clerk-like on “Mayor” rock-desk with snooty expression

  113. Baka Gaijin
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Aesahaettr (#102): As it’s been established, Pluggers put the new TV atop the old TV. No need to defenestrate. Wait, do bears defenestrate in the woods?

  114. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#111): ”And can you show us the proper way to do CPR so we don’t end up crushing somebody’s chest.” “Why, certainly. Do you happen to have a couple of strippers on hand?”

  115. KreatureFeatures
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Editor Bill is kind of a dick.

  116. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#114):

    A stripper on hand is worth two in the bush!

  117. Chaze
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD (#105):

    “The Sketchy Birds”

    “North by the Southern Part of the State”

    “The Man Who Fished Too Much”

  118. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#116): I don’t think you see a stripper with a bush too often anymore. That’s sort of old-school.

  119. AhClem
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#91): Pearls? No, this is Funky Winkerbean. The kid is wearing a string of dried, glazed tumors.

  120. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#118):

    Yes, any hair down there would tend to obscure the tattoo…

  121. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#120): I would be very suspicious of a woman who has to shave to show her tramp stamp.

  122. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#121):

    Of course, I am talking about the one on the other side from the Tramp Stamp that reads “Always Open” or “Slippery When Wet”.

  123. lynn
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#122): Let’s leave Mom out of this.

  124. Downpuppy
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#101): In Boston, the Warren/Brown ads were a deadly dull standoff. The New Hampshire ads (a sign of way too much money being thrown around is New Hampshire Governor ads on Boston TV) were psychobilly delights.

  125. MySpoonIsTooBig
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL- Today’s strip would almost make up for the obnoxiousness of the past couple weeks (oh hell, the majority of the strip’s run) if we could also, just once, have some indication that Seth and Mark are as sexually active (with each other!) as the rest of the classical-music-makes-us-hump-like-rabbits cast.

  126. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    MT-They have a bikini clad woman guarding Mark.

    Gil Thorp-”Damn those Irish can hit hard. Must be because they’re all fueled by anger and Guiness.”

    A3G-”I did but I think Margo wants to win the worst publicist award.”

  127. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#117): “The Trouble with Rusty”; “Strangers on a Crane”; “The Nature Writer Vanishes”

  128. Peanut Gallery
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Matthew (#20): Yes — when I started reading it, I was sure the plugger-bear’s punchline was going to be, “Shucks, I got all that stuff now!”

  129. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#125):

    I also commented on this at #25. Everyone else is inspired to have sex with their partner, Seth is inspired to go home and give his tiny boyfriend a big, platonic hug. This would not stand out so much if it wasn’t sadly consistent with 20 years of allowing gay men to be portrayed in mainstream movies and on network television, so long as there was no indication that their gayness extended beyond being sassy and inappropriate as far as to involve actually having sexual relations with other men.

  130. Marilou
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    What’s up to every single one, it’s actually a nice for me to visit this site, it includes
    precious Information.

  131. Baka Gaijin
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Marilou (#130): What quaint spam.

  132. KreatureFeatures
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#131): “What’s up to every single one” is going to work it’s way into my holiday party greetings.

  133. endless sky
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Marilou (#130): Actually it’s only semi-precious.

  134. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Marilou (#130): Did your brother find it useful for his paper?

  135. Droopy Says
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#72): That’s why CPR is best performed by those with little to no empathy for human suffering.

    A man walks into a ComiCon and needs CPR. He dies while Batiuk, Evans and McEldowney squabble over which of them is the best-qualified to save him.

  136. Marc
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Marilou (#130): The things I say are really only the cubic zerconia of the information world.

  137. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#132): What’s up to every single one and to all a good one!

  138. pugfuggly
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#81):

    “Doctor! This man still isn’t breathing! Where are you going??”
    “Sorry, I just remembered that Young and the Restless is on, and its a real pain to catch up on….”

    @Droopy Says (#135):

    In the words of Narwaur, Ba-BOOM!

  139. MySpoonIsTooBig
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#129):

    Definitely. It would be especially nice if we could have actual references to gay sex that aren’t straight folks (ie men) reactions of “Ew, two dudes fucking” or “Yay, lesbians!”.

  140. bats :[
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#17): I just have to start small…
    (although I will admit I’ve had Mark punch out Mary W. at least once. Satisfying!).

  141. Dale
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#85):

    FUNKY

    I wonder what happens when the kid takes his hat off. Does his hair explode to look like Kyle’s (South Park, starts with B)?

  142. seismic-2
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    I never thought there might be any circumstances under which I would want to see a Mary Worth / Funky Winkerbean cross-over, but the fact is that I really do want to see Dawn start wearing Owen’s floppy hat, 24/7. Please!

  143. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 7th, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#61) said: “A3G: Evan tries the pre-emptive dump!”

    In public? That’s pretty radical. I hope he’s wearing multiple Depends.

  144. Inspector Butterflyfish, LFHD
    November 7th, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#143): Be that as it may, it’s always best to void one’s bowels before telling Margo you’ve been going behind her back.

  145. This Guy
    November 7th, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#141): Broflovski.

    // Gesundheit.

  146. Girl Reporter
    November 7th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Justin (#3): @Poteet (#101): There are usually 14 minutes of commercial time in an hour of TV programming, so if the ads are :30 each, thats an opportunity for 28 political ads per hour. An opportunity taken by all sides here in Ohio. Every single break, every single ad. Every once in awhile there was the sweet, sweet relief of being yelled at by a car salesman.

  147. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    MT-”It’s horrible what they are doing to Mark, Cherry. There is a bikini clad widow with a child that Mark actually enjoys being with.”

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#97): Ziggy: Do evil robots from the future explain legacy comics?

    Maybe if you asked them politely.

    (Tip: Don’t call them “evil”. It’s rude.
    “Nice Robot from the Future, please, why is Hazel?”)

    // If you try this, do tell us what the RftF says.

  149. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#142):

    I never thought there might be any circumstances under which I would want to see a Mary Worth / Funky Winkerbean cross-over, but the fact is that I really do want to see Dawn start wearing Owen’s floppy hat, 24/7. Please!

    Hey, great idea! And Jim’s a natural for band teacher!

  150. Chaze
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#139):

    I find it remarkable that the only guy we’ve seen Seth kiss is Amos.

  151. Liam
    November 7th, 2012 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”Yes. I am a god. With these hands I can raise the dead.”

  152. Mysterion
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    “…side effects may include bloating, gas, constipation, sweating, smelly feet, itchy rashes, runny nose…”

    Are we sure that isn’t a political ad?

  153. Vince M
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#132): Shoot, that’s going on my Christmas cards!

  154. Señor Tortilla
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Enjoying the lamp with the word “RAP” written all over it.

    Luann: So what’s the joke? Is “Gentleman” a codeword for “homosexual” here? (it kinda makes more sense if you read it like that)

    FW: “Now step into the backroom, remove your clothes and we’ll go from there.”

  155. Ms. Unit
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    BB – WELL HELLO THERE OLD FASHIONED GENDER ROLES
    WE MEET AGAIN

  156. This Guy
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#149): In college, our concert band (the lowest level, requiring no audition) served for part of the year as the lab for the band conducting class. Probably the most common thing the band director told the conducting students was to stop mirroring their right hand with their left. Jim and One-Armed Becky have nimbly dodged that particular bullet.

  157. seismic-2
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Marilou (#130): it’s actually a nice for me to visit this site, it includes
    precious Information.

    Is she one the strippers in the apartment house in RMMD?

  158. The Ridger
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    The title of this post reminds me of the Power Puff Girls episode in which Mojo Jojo manages to switch everyone in the world into a different body. Blossom ends up in the Professor’s. She’s trying to use the phone, but since PPG hands have no fingers, she just impotently slams his hand onto the phone over and over, expecting the phone to stick to it. “Professor!” she cries. “Your hands don’t work!” (Yeah, I know it has little relevance, but it’s what I thought of.)

  159. Robin
    November 7th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#13): “most sales are after Christmas! But Clark’s is just before! Soooo give the gift you know can’t fail….from BC Clark’s Anniversary Sale!”

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#158): That sounds amusing. I never watched the PPG, but whenever I saw them en passant, I always thought of a phrase from my childhood. Whenever my parents took my brothers and me to a cafeteria style restaurant, we were always warned to “not let your eyes be bigger than your stomach”. (Meaning not to put more food on your tray than you could actually eat.)

    Sadly, the PPG would never be able to avoid this problem: Their eyes are bigger than their entire viscera.

    // The whole kawaii gigantic eye thing has always creeped me out anyway.

  161. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#156): Yikes! You mean they did it on purpose?

  162. Peanut Gallery
    November 7th, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): It just said, “If you were a robot from the future like me, you would find those comics very entertaining.”

    It sounded a little condescending, if you ask me.

  163. Sgt. Stoned
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    BB: Whoa, looks like Ms. Buxley is putting on a little weight. Better watch yourself, girl, or you’ll lose your dreamboat, every woman’s sex fantasy, Beetle Bailey.

    DTM: Baseball season is over. Punchline should have said “passing arm”. It still wouldn’t be funny, but it would at least give the illusion of being contemporary.

    H&L: Ha-ha. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a dictatorship where there weren’t any elections?

  164. Poteet
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#146): Hahaha! Exactly! Thanks for the stats, which confirm the impression I had. In Iowa during TV news breaks, it was all political ads all the time except for the very occasional burger-chain message. And as one symptom of swing-state madness, someone on NPR referred to “Des Moines, Ohio.”

  165. Gringo
    November 7th, 2012 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    “So Rex Morgan saved a lady’s life with CPR and has, in his inimitable way, been a sullen dick about it ever since.”

    Well, to be fair, Rex knows that if he lived over in Juggs Parker, people would be throwing money and large motor homes at him by now, as well as offering him spots on the NY Times bestseller list.

  166. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 8th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Too busy. Can’t even look at comics. Dress rehearsal tomorrow, shows this weekend and next, and a paper due Tuesday for class, plus regular junk. Life, huh? Back when it all sorts out.

  167. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    JP — Oh noes! So much for the piscine love that dare not speak its name.

  168. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    MW — Wha?? I thought she was mildly obsessed with Jim and that Mary was encouraging her. And I’ll say it again — when you’re nineteen and a college student, which I assume Dawn is, you’re not really a teenager anymore.

  169. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    A3G — Hey, where’s the other Skyler, the one who was kinda pretty?

  170. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    GA — Run, escape, depart — it’s the horrible family with black holes for eyes and brains!

  171. Droopy Says
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Poor Kraven. Parker’s malign presence has infected him with the proportional non-eloquence of a spider.

    Flunky Whatever: Asshat would no more rewrite a paper than the audience would read all this blather. Congratulations on making history a bore, BatYuck.

    Flatulence Alley: I never thought I’d say this, but I want to see Crankshaft drive the bus.

    Family Circus: Don’t try it, Billy. The Internet was designed to survive a nuclear attack, not your artwork. In fact I’m surprised that the thumbnail of your sketch didn’t crash it . . . or is that why Florida still hasn’t counted all its votes?

    Jugs Parker: So Bubba destroyed the camera? The deal is off! Avery must die! Oh boy oh joy, as the song had it . . . wait, of course Bea downloaded the picture first.

    Mock Trail: And Doc thinks, two million dollars for kidnapping IMark Trail? If I’d only known!

  172. Poteet
    November 8th, 2012 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    S-M — My strongest reaction to Kraven is gratitude that I’m not close enough to smell him.

  173. Droopy Says
    November 8th, 2012 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    Just a new dimension in stupidity for Spiderbland: lady, big cats are dangerous. When you intrude on the act’s routine, you’d better not count on the handler’s ability to control them. Remember thou art squishy and supply thy own catsup.

  174. Droopy Says
    November 8th, 2012 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#172): I’m impressed by Kraven’s flattop. Has anyone checked his neck for bolts? For all we know medical genius Kraven built this guy to take his place while he steals thetiara.

  175. Jumbo37364
    November 8th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    So technically, today’s Pluggers is telling us, “youre a plugger if you don’t have severe anger management problems”.

  176. Dale
    November 8th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Cherry is not smart enough to worry.
    Neither is Mark.
    He’s wandering around happy as a pig in shit. Does he really think Bill can come up with $2M?

  177. Dale
    November 8th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#157):

    A stripper might call herself “Precious”, but her last name would not be “Information”.

  178. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 8th, 2012 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    @Mumblix Grumph (#1): It’s Beast Jesus!

  179. Dr. Weird
    November 8th, 2012 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#125):

    9CL- Today’s strip would almost make up for the obnoxiousness of the past couple weeks (oh hell, the majority of the strip’s run) if we could also, just once, have some indication that Seth and Mark are as sexually active (with each other!) as the rest of the classical-music-makes-us-hump-like-rabbits cast.

    Maybe that’s the best they can do? They broke up when Seth started banging that ballerina for her “art.” Did they ever get back together on panel, with Seth begging for forgiveness? I don’t know because I don’t care much about the strip, but that did seem to be something in need of being addressed.

  180. This Guy
    November 8th, 2012 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    Wow, Wednesday’s Pluggers straight-up admits that pluggers live in a hazy world of confabulated nostalgia, yearning for that which never was and able to cling only to the certainty congealed deep in their basal gangila that the quality of the world is monotonically decreasing over their lifetimes.

    Wait, Teena’s sister in PreTeena is watching music videos on MTV? How? Is this a period piece? A time-travel story?

  181. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 8th, 2012 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    This whole CPR storyline is bugging me, because it runs counter to what I was taught in my CPR and first aid classes. Basically, CPR involves doing what the body has ceased to do for itself – breathe and circulate blood – until someone with the equipment to jumpstart the heart arrives. It doesn’t magically revive a person; if they need help pumping their blood when you arrive, they’re going to need that help as long as your arms give out or better help arrives. That’s also why, if you can, you should spell your effort with another person; it may take awhile for the paramedics to show up and take over, and doing the compressions is a LOT of work.

    Short version: it’s a good thing to know how to do, but it can’t work miracles.

    //Which, given that it apparently did for Rex, might explain why they want to have him on the news.

  182. bats :[
    November 8th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

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