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Looks like we’re in for some … monkey business! Ha ha! (UGH SORRY EVERYBODY)

Spider-Man, 12/15/12

This strip raises a lot of questions, from the philosophical — Can a trained chimp be held liable for a crime? — to the narrative-related — How did Peter make the leap from “these chimps have been stealing things for Kraven” to “these chimps each have specialties, and Moe’s is jewel-thievery?” Still, I’m pretty excited at the prospect of Spidey engaging in a battle of wits with a non-human primate, since it’ll almost certainly end with his humiliation.

Crankshaft, 12/15/12

Look, I’m not a proponent of violence, but Crankshaft is history’s greatest monster, who’s been nothing but mean to all the children of Westview his whole life. If you manage to get at point-blank range with a canister of pepper spray, I say take your chance.

Apartment 3-G, 12/15/12

Haha, I mean obviously the only reason Margo tried to get a Christmas party going with her roommates is because her boyfriend was busy, I’m not sure why this was ever in question. Look at Lu Ann and Tommie’s little smiles. “Oh, that Margo! She doesn’t care about us at all, unless she’s lonely!”

Dick Tracy, 12/15/12

What’s Dick Tracy doing on this fine Saturday? Oh, you know, just making some chili with extra cumin and singing Chumbawamba, like you do.

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