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Distasteful Saturday quickies

Dennis the Menace, 7/5/08

This is today’s Dennis the Menace! It’s about the Mitchells’ dog urinating all over the back seat of their car.

Garfield, 7/5/08

This is today’s Garfield! It’s about Jon stepping in excrement.

Shoe, 7/5/08

This is today’s Shoe! It’s about a horny, horny bird-lady.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 5, 2008 at 10:23 am and is filed under Dennis the Menace, Garfield, Shoe.

180 responses to “Distasteful Saturday quickies”

maughta
July 5th, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

This is my comment. It’s not funny, but that’s because explosions are still going off in my head.
Daaang
July 5th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

JP – YES Sam he wants more money. He’s been trying to tell you that for a week. And by the way you are in the book.
Laura Weatherspoon
July 5th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

How could you over look BC’s humorous reference to urinating? Today’s “joke” is that the word Canopy is defined as “required prior to employment consideration.”

My husband had to have this explained to him. Which is understandable because you don’t pee in a can, you pee in a cup. Granted, cupapy isn’t a real word, but then today’s BC isn’t a real joke.
John C Fremont
July 5th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

# 3 – Mmm. Lipton Cup-a-pea.
Little A. of The Bronx Jungle Patrol
July 5th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

3: Thanks for clarifying that for me. I gues today is doo doo and pee pee joke day in the comics.

I like a doody joke or a sissy joke as much as anybody (maybe more than anybody, according to my wife), but I have to say, and please correct me if I am wrong:

I cannot remember reading this sort of joke in Peanuts, in Nancy, in Pogo. Some of the great comic strips didn’t have to be scatological to be funny. I can’t recall any such thing in Doonesbury but I can be wrong about this — there have been babies in the strip, and babies mess up diapers.

I can’t recall anything like this recently in Dick Tracy, except that the whole strip has been a piece of shit for many years.

One Big Happy, one of my favorite strips, occasionally makes doo doo jokes, but they seem to be funny, in context.

There have been doody jokes in Doonesbury, for instance when Zonker was Nannying Alex.
Baka Gaijin
July 5th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Repost from last thread:

Rose is Rose: Clem eats like a FOOB. No, wait, he gets all the food inside his mouth without covering the immediate area with drippings, droppings, and saliva.

PS: See last thread’s comment #7 Talking Squirrel: His Mark Trail commentary is priceless!
TurtleBoy
July 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Garfield: For how long now has Jon had a rat-tail?
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

DtM: Hah ! Ol’ Ruff has the Skoots…or the Trots….from that last Taco Bell stop.

‘Shaft: Mebbe THIS year ‘Shaft will learn his lesson. WHOOOOMPH !

FC: Daddy’s stoned and wants a piece of something, but the damn kids won’t leave the friggin’ house. They just cluster together like the last Cheerios in a bowel of milk and stare at him with dead eyes.

Blondie: Try paying your bills ONLINE, Dag. The internet is not just for BBW food porn, ya know.

FW: Great. Now Funky has to deal with this shit. First it was the sweet grape addiction, then the holographic girlfriend addiction (this is 2018, after all) and now some guy he barely remembers has flown up from Boynton Beach, Florida to rag him about the soy substitutes and ‘meat’ in his pizzas.
prospero
July 5th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Plagiarism? Pretty sure Jessica Rabbit said that better.
teddytoad
July 5th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Shoe: Why is Roz’s bird-tit resting on the sales counter like that? I think this strip went wrong a long time ago (see, e.g., the very concept of “bird-tit”).
Hank
July 5th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

RE: Apt 3G. If Gabriella faints at ‘the presence of evil’ anyplace where low level drug-dealing and bad art occurs, how can she even enter lower Manhattan without immediately slipping into a coma?
(Repost from earlier thread)
prospero
July 5th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

And just zizz wherever you want.
Weaselboy
July 5th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Either Ruff has to pee, or he just saw a ghost.
zenvelo
July 5th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

so will the Sunday Mark Trail be all about how cougars stalk deer, but prefer to eat lame horses that have been sent back home?
Rusty
July 5th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

Ol’ Ruff and the counter bird lady both look like they are getting goosed. Who or what ever draws Shoe now frequently depicts outrageous facial reactions to pretty tame punchlines. I guess it’s value-added cartooning.
dreadedcandiru2
July 5th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Sunday Foob Alert!!! Two weeks ago I warned you about John’s storegasm. I come here today to warn you about the tidal wave of glurge that Lynn plans to unleash. You see, Lynn has to tell the people who only read the strip on Sunday that not only is Liz getting married this Summer, she’s doing so in what everyone says is her late grandmother’s dress. The last panel makes me want to call her up and tell her that Bil Keane wants his gimmick back.
Hank
July 5th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

RE: 16, dreadedcandiru2 , FOOB: Oh, geez, we’re getting the “Ghost of Grandma” tomorrow?
dreadedcandiru2
July 5th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

#17: Hank- Yes, we are. And she’s not screaming about what they’re doing to her dress either; she’s helping them hack it to bits.
Baka Gaijin
July 5th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

Note to self: Avoid FOOB tomorrow, avoid FOOB tomorrow, avoid FOOB tomorrow. Remember what happened last time you ignored a Sunday FOOB alert?
zenvelo
July 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

what IS it about today’s strips? Non Sequitur was a paean to the joys of dogs shitting wherever they like….
Nemo
July 5th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Isn’t “avoid FOOB tomorrow” something you should tell yourself every day anyways?
Eric the Baker
July 5th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

I am so embarrassed! I actually laughed at today’s Mallard Fillmore. I’ll be wearing a burlap sack for a month to atone.
BigTed
July 5th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

As we know from “Pluggers,” only ladies are chickens. Men are dogs and/or bears. So if Roz wants to get lucky, Eau de Three-Day-Old Hamburger Patty oughtta do it.
Baka Gaijin
July 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

#21 Nemo: You know how some women “forget” all the pain associated with childbirth? Yeah, sometimes I forget the pain of reading FOOB.
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

What!?…No puke “jokes” in the comix today? I call bodily-function discrimination on Der Kommicsars.
Donald The Anarchist
July 5th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

Shoe Is it just me, or is customer bird-lady hitting on sales associate bird-lady? This is not unheard of among birds, but perfume is. Of course, most birds don’t consider the perfectly natural sexual act to have moral implications, either. Unless “go wrong” is a reference to an act that is unusual even for birds. I probably don’t want to know what that is, do I? No, no I do not.

DTM Every so often I’ll have dreams featuring my childhood pets. I will very quickly realize that it’s a dream because they are all dead. But I will often first consider that they probably need a trip outside, which will then lead to the memory that I haven’t taken them outside in years. I will usually feel guilty for my negligence until I realize they’re dead, and it’s a dream. Someone needs to tell Dennis that Ruff will die someday, if for no other reason than that it will either quash his menacing for good, or lead to the greatest menace in all of history. Plus we haven’t seen Dennis cry in a good long while.
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

DtM: “Ol’ Ruff will have the large Number 6 with extra Guac !”

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3148/2638812911_4711a14f72_o.jpg
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

AeroSquid: I’ve heard of going “number 1″ and “number 2″, even “number 3″ hell, even done that myself. But “number 6″? That has gotta be heinous!
blurg
July 5th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Crude poop jokes? Bah! What unclassity!

If they had real class they’d resort to the crude sex jokes people type around HERE!
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

28. Red Greenback: The Number 6 is 1 thru 3 doubled.
Dan
July 5th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Obviously, the bird-lady in Shoe is a tufted titmouse.
AhClem
July 5th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

#8 AeroSquid -
“…They just cluster together like the last Cheerios in a bowel of milk and stare at him with dead eyes.”

Great image! I’m assuming you intended to write “bowl of milk,” but I like how it turned out much better.
Talking Squirrel
July 5th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

20 — zenvelo says: “what IS it about today’s strips? Non Sequitur was a paean to the joys of dogs shitting wherever they like….”

It’s like when half the ladies in the office spontaneously get pregnant within two weeks of each other, albeit this is mass excretion rather than simultaneous conception. It’s a mystery of nature — one cannot discern any correlation, and yet the statistical anomaly is undeniable.
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

32. AhClem: Since it poop joke day, it seems to work.
queek
July 5th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

MT: “Cougar Attack” starring Kelly Welly and Cherry. It will sweep the AVN awards for certain.

Frazz is on a roll! For those of you that never were runners, that is the actual word, and it was pretty funny in X-country practice in high-school, too!

PBS: “woah”

ok, a show of hands who read today’s Pajama Diaries and thought of Al Scaduto.

Overboard was mildly amusing today.
bats :[
July 5th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

The secret of comedy: Timing!

And since I came close to killing the last thread with my lack of it, I humbly repost (but, I added one to atone for it):

58. AFKAB (last thread): I have a sneaking suspicion that the Judge has a “mood shirt.” It turned black when Sam questioned his own abilities as an intellectual properties lawyer, but when he agrees to help the Judge, it’ll get all bright and sparkly again!
Okay, I have no idea.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2639700072/sizes/o/

67. John C. Fremont re FC (last thread): Dolly might not be ’singing,’ but things are getting worse.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2639691862/

And then there’s Aldo-mania, or something like it…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2639915540/sizes/o/
commodorejohn
July 5th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

9CL – I repeat: when it takes Thorax to make your storyline entertaining, and when he does such a fantastic job of it, you need to rethink the way you write your comic.

A3G – Ha ha, more Gabriella, mules!

Crankshaft – burn them ed burn them ALL

DT – The great thing about Dick Tracy is that, despite the clumsy third-panel-on-Saturday reveal, the suspense is maintained over the weekend because there is absolutely no way to tell what in God’s name he’s holding.

FOOB – This is the woman who, twenty-plus years later, would pat herself on the back while her friend ego-fellates her for being such a fantastic parent.

FW – Oh man you guys Funky Winkerbean is about to get TOTALLY AWESOME. Announcing a “pizza intervention” on the anniversary of Aldo’s first appearance in Mary Worth? I look forward to seeing Funky, returned to his alcoholic ways, soaring his late-model Cadillac off whatever cliffs happen to be convenient to Westview.

GA – “Mit out sound?” The dude is a French stereotype, not German. And Rufus wants to meet Chef Meowrice “in the worst way?” Has the Internet just totally corrupted me, or does that mean what I think it means? God, Gasoline Alley is weird.

JP – “No problem! All I have to do is hope that the publisher employs an old flame of mine as a negotiator, and that she’ll sell her client short in exchange for a single passionless kiss!”

MT – So…is that big cat in panel two merely another Elrodian foreground decoration, or will we actually get to see Mark punch out a mountain lion?

MW – He’s thought-bubbling within a thought bubble? My brain hurts.

OBH – Ruthie, you always make me chuckle.

PBS – Today’s Pearls Before Swine is completely awesome.

Popeye – I have to say, after the stupid Thung story and Swee’Pea’s Whore Money, this progressively more insane storyline has captivated me. What will happen to the Sea Hag? Will the plot meander into a discussion on the ethics of treating sentient beings as zoo specimens? Will the Hag get her powers back and go on a rampage? I have no freakin’ clue, but I look forward to finding out.

Edison Lee – JOHN HAMBROCK IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO RAPE THE MEMORY OF CALVIN & HOBBES I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU

Zits – Actually, Jeremy, she looks like the lovechild of Arnold and Rhonda from Hey! Arnold and acts like Speedy Gonzales on crack. Sorry to burst your bubble.
mojo
July 5th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Shoe chicken-bird-lady applying perfume = The proverbial “lipstick on a pig”.

I must point out, though, as someone who once owned chickens, “La Reek” is an apt description of their living quarters, no matter how clean you try to keep it. Just to keep the whole farming, back-to-nature, laying-in-one’s-own-filth motif going.
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

And the poo jokes keep coming !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3270/2639153493_fd9a31da4e_o.jpg
Tom Bombadil
July 5th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

GA: Even supposing the French guy pronounces “with” as “mit”, the acronym would nonetheless be “W.O.S.”, right? There are just so many things wrong with the whole thing. In other words, just an ordinary everyday GA strip.
Poteet
July 5th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

GA — What the hell is going on with the feet in the last panel?
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

DtM:… Two Birds
Flipper
July 5th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

GA’s “Mit Out Sound” (from the Imdb Glossary):

MOS: A take that is filmed without recording sound at the same time. MOS stands for “mit out sound”–it is purported that director Erich Von Stroheim couldn’t pronounce “without sound” correctly due to his accent.

I see MOS on the slates of some video clips without audio I receive, and usually it has to be explained to someone. So I use “No Audio” on my own slates.
Baka Gaijin
July 5th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: Is ol’ Ruff the victim of a drive-by prostate exam?
Julius Sleazer
July 5th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

How can you ignore the fact that the Dennis the Menace team hasn’t finished coloring the panel? Only the Dad is colored! Well, him and Dennis’ hand.
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Let’s try that again… Two Birds
AeroSquid
July 5th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

45. Julius Sleazer: Dennis’ dad popped for the green tinted windows when he bought the ‘62 Roadmaster. That’s whay it’s all funky looking.
NJL
July 5th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

If Josh really cared, he would have added today’s Mallard Fillmore fart joke and BC’s piss joke.
LurkNoLonger
July 5th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

#45: tinted car windows.
Nate
July 5th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Are the Mitchells living in Pleasantville? Is that why only The Dad and part of The Mom are in color?
Jamus The Bartender
July 5th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

DtM: Okay….true story. Back in 1984, when he was in high school, the The Bartender family (minus Dad The Bartender who had to work, thankfully. He was never much for driving long distances) was taking a trip from Chicagoland to the north woods of Wisconsin. We took our new Dog The Bartender with us, and while driving through the construction site outside of Madison (where I now live, strangely enough), my sister yells out in a loud, high voice, “SHE’S POOPING !!!”, which the dog was. Now, to this day, whenever we want to freak out Mom The Bartender on car trips , one of us will yell out, “SHE’S POOPING !!”
Also, I love the look on Ruff’s face.
Shoe: I think Cassandra has that perfume.
Mibbitmaker
July 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

ZtP: Whoops! Too late, Zippy. No retroactive assassination for you! Hmmm….. It seems you’re now in…. the Hanoi Hilton, sometime in the late ’60s, as a prisoner. Oh, well, at least it looks like you have company. You know Griffy……

9CL panel 1: Right on!

9CL panel 2: What? — they had a drug cartel?? That may explain alot. And what? — Ethel Thorax?? Weeeeeeeird. And — oh, lord, please don’t tell me Pap is his pug (!!!)! Eeewwww!

JP: He does want you to do something hard, nimrod: he wants you to read his book.

Luann: That poster was ON A BREAK.

MF: I wouldn’t go around bragging about that infantile joke, either, Tinsley.

MT: “That’s easy for you to say, Wilbur! You‘re not a horse with a busted leg!”

MW: It’s a shame that Andy Richter has drunk the Mary Worth Kool-Aid. Still, I wish someone in the hospital would bother to get that giant, red arrow out of the poor guy’s neck.

PBS: Groovy “bad trip” scene. Maybe Pig’s doctor got those painkillers from Thorax’s cartel?

Ghost-Who-May-Not-Have-A-Choice: The big guy: “I’m big, but I’m not easy!” (I know this joke is more-or-less already in comments in one of the threads, but my version sounds like early-era M*A*S*H dialogue, so I typed it anyway)

The something-or-other Mind of Edison Lee: We understand, Mr. Lee… we understand.

If that’s the last “Spot the Frog” today, then it went out on a nice note.
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Two women at a perfume counter is probably the second oldest joke setup. The first of course, being the desert island with one palm tree.
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

Have you heard the one about the two women at the perfume counter under the palm tree on a desert island?
It seems the one woman proceeds to recline on the top of said counter, to which the other woman states: “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! The woman replies: “I am so sorry! I thought it was a psychiatrist’s couch!” *vealwaitressallweek*
Dicky
July 5th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

52, Mibbitmaker: I was about to say the same thing about Spot the Frog. Of course, he’s just asking for fanfic now, though with the characters that he created, it wouldn’t be that difficult to write some good stuff if you could write.

PBS: I recognize everything but what Rat turned into (dragon croc?) and the bat in the background. What are they from?

Lola: Is she endorsing “horseplay”?

Doonesbury: While you might not want to pick up a girlfriend from Costco, it has been my longstanding observation that it is a place to shop for attractive men, generally young, both in customers and employees.

Luann: Hopefully, his girl will be better than this smarmy guy that he already has. I can’t wait to see the strips next week when prime sleeping space is fought over with all of its foibles and leads.
yeff
July 5th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

For me, the best part of all three of these strips is the look of sheer “comic book horror” on the faces of Ruff, Jon, and the perfume counter lady.

The last two are understandable, but the first? Perhaps it’s because Dennis’s right hand is keeping Ruff from cutting loose. You’d have that look on your face too…

- yeff
cheech wizard
July 5th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

A3G -“Evil is present here!”

Well duh, lady. Look who’s standing at your elbow.

MT – So, has Kelly assumed her real form here?

FC – “Daddy had a coronary, so mommy says we all hafta get jobs now.”

DtM – Ruff looks as panicky as Adrianna La Cerva – looks like he just realized what “going to the farm” means.

FW – Tony – Montoni’s customers live in a world where Death and Tragedy stalks them at every corner. You think they’re gonna complain about their stinkin’ pizza?

MW – “Help me, Jeff! I’m drowning! I turned on the blue tint faucet to do my hair and the handle broke off! Glub…”

Crankshaft – Too bad this strip isn’t animated – all this panel needs is a few out-of-focus helicopters sushing by and the first haunting notes of “The End.”
kippetje2000
July 5th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Ruff remembers the last car trip, when it was Dennis who had to pee and Mrs. Mitchell pulled the old ‘pop-bottle-urinal’ trick on the menace.
retrovirus
July 5th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Unrelatedly, why in the world is Josh’s name being used in a post about mammograms ? Is there something I’m missing??

(thread found here )
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

54. Red, we both forgot the person crawling across the desert sands. . .
Nerowolfgal
July 5th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Don’t forget the person climbing a mountain to talk to the wise ass guy on top.
Nerowolfgal
July 5th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Also, the guy talking to the bartender.
Chris
July 5th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

I think those are “morgana” boobs on ol’ Roz, and that’s why she’s resting her back by putting them on the counter. You think maybe she wants to go wrong with ol’ Shoe? Just rest the big ol’ bird boobie on the counter in front of him, that outta do it!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 5th, 2008 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

#54 Red: How about the guy in the sandwich sign that says “Repent!”

Nobody goes around nude in a barrel anymore, not even around tax time. Thank goodness we still have moths flying out of empty wallets.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 5th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

Great Photoshop Phunnies, bats:[, AeroSquid, and Red Greenback! I salute you!
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

I’m just glad we don’t have the angry wife with the rolling pin anymore.
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

SH,JS @#64: That reminds me of a good “Herman” from a while back where a dude with a blank sandwich board is talking to another dude onthe street corner. The caption read: “I finally got a day off!”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 5th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

#67 Red: Who knew that doomsaying was so demanding? I thought it was the kind of work that you could just show up to.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 5th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

#66 Islamorada Girl: Let’s not forget the Kuh-Razy Female Driver!
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 5th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

Re: Shoe, I have to say that if you’re going to be that put off by the thought of your customers wanting to have sex, you probably shouldn’t be working the perfume counter.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 5th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Bats [ @78 yesterthread,
I like your ideas about “Judge Parker after Darker.”
Red Greenback
July 5th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Or the old guy partying with his “niece”.
Calico
July 5th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

The thing about Garfield and Josh is, exactly what kind of excrement?
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2008 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

And then, there’s the guy trying to pick up a woman in a bar. . .
man behind the curtain
July 5th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

A3G — I’m not evil, I’m your daughter Margo. On second thought, maybe I should rephrase that.
man behind the curtain
July 5th, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

MW — Of course, Mary Worth was able to save Dr. Jeff’s life. No medical training but she had spent the previous night at the Hanoi Holiday Inn Express.
IagoPogo
July 5th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Re: #64 – you are obviously not a Denver Broncos fan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Barrel_Man
odinthor
July 5th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

Luann. — Brad, chum, you really do need to get out there a bit more. If Toni liked you the way you want Toni to like you, she’d do anything but offer you room at her place. Look at what history tells us. Did Cleopatra offer Richard Burton the spare room upstairs at her bachelorette pyramid? Did Mrs.-Attila-the-Hun-to-be offer AtH a nice cozy spot between her and the yak? And what about Olsen and Johnson? What you want from Toni sometime is for her to spontaneously throw the flowers you just gave her in your face while shrieking “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!“. This leads by simple steps to a walk down the aisle and fulfilling married life. Just ask Leroy and Loretta.
Calico
July 5th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

#73 – Jeebum, I meant Jon (Arbuckle), not Josh.
Me needs sleep.
bats :[
July 5th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

Wow. Now I know the meaning of “nothing on TV” — surfing YouTube!

And here’s the first in a series of dramatice readings of both Mary Worth and Rex Morgan, by “Pix”:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YfczbCgn5hI&feature=related
Aesop
July 5th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

Marvin: “When I do something really bad, she posts me in four corners.”
I can imagine his mom ripping him into four pieces and throwing the bloody remains into each of the four corners of the room.
Resumé Man
July 5th, 2008 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

Ruff is horrified because he knows who really needs to pull over. He’s seen that pallor in Dennis’s face before, and he’s not about to eat the leftovers.
Shoshi
July 5th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

41 Poteet — Someone is dragging Rufus away. So his feet are at an angle, being dragged, and the other feet are the guy doing the dragging. I think.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 6th, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

#77 IagoPogo:

you are obviously not a Denver Broncos fan.

You are correct! I had no idea that someone achieved celebrity status attending games while dressed in a barrel. As should be readily apparent, I don’t make much of a habit of watching the foot-ball.
bobbaloo
July 6th, 2008 at 12:42 am [Reply]

in RMMD, Mrs. Max wants Max to “clam down”. is that some kind of sex thing?
TK
July 6th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

Dang, Jackson. Get to the phone sex already. How soon is now?
Red Greenback
July 6th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

#85-bobbaloo: Rolly Church of Crete! Janice did tell Max to “CLAM DOWN!” …good catch! Another thing about the Rex strip today is the next to last panel where Max yells “I AM NOT STRESSED… DO AS I SAY!!” Yeah, you look like the picture of composure there, babe. What with the flames bursting out the back of your head and the look of unbridled rage on your so-called face! Yep, cool as a cucumber, Max.
Rainbird
July 6th, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

16 dreadedcandiru2
Thanks for the warning of the train wreck that is FOOB, but I still had to look. All I can think is how wrong it is for Liz to get married just to please people. Wrong way to start out a marriage.

33 Talking Squirrel
Or it could just be that all the cartoonists couldn’t figure out what to write about, and decided together to do poop jokes. Then play a round of golf.

37 commodorejohn

Really? Edison Lee is supposed to be a modern calivin and hoobs? You could have fooled me. I didn’t read it that way at all. I just read it as, that kid is certainly stupid.

59 retrovirus
Even weirder was, while Josh was gone, there was an ad for Josh Ringtones. Very odd.
Rainbird
July 6th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

80 bats :[
I guess there could be worse things than pointing out how wrong the emphasis in the comic strips is. I love how he narrates them. It makes it all the more ridiculous.
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 1:52 am [Reply]

Sunday, Sunday (and it’s raining like hell in Tucson!):

JP: bar the doors, Mountain Mama and zaq: Sam Driver is comin’ to Phoenix! An’ he’s bringin’ his golf clubs! What are the odds he gets heatstroke on the golf course before sealing the deal?

MT: well, I learned a lot today, and it was cool!

MW: yep, that damned male pride, Jeff. Maybe you should have a good vet fix you, like Chester.
Eh, you’d still probably whine.

RMMD: I’m loving this! If Max does an Aldo I’ll be startled, but vindicated. :)

FOOB: Well, Grandma Marion isn’t really there, helping with the wedding dress, because she’s doing the dirty with Grandpa Keane…but you just go on believing what you like, Elly…
FOOBed again
July 6th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

I like that that Judge Parker’s publisher is really called Dewey Cheatham.
Tabby Lavalamp
July 6th, 2008 at 3:05 am [Reply]

You know what’s menacing? Not driving with both hands firmly gripping the steering wheel except to signal or change gears. Dennis may not be a menace, but his dad needs to be taken down.
Nurse with a penis
July 6th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

MW – So Doctor Jeff lives in this big-ass rambler style house with a lawn so big we can’t see the neighbors’ houses. Somehow I’m just not feelin’ sorry for him. Also he’s got pink curtains just like MARY WORTH!
aw
July 6th, 2008 at 5:11 am [Reply]

I don’t see what’s so distasteful about this Dennis cartoon.

There’s a difference between potential dog-piddle and present dog-piddle. If Dennis had said, “Hey Dad, Ruff just piddled all over the seat,” that would be distasteful. But at the time that Dennis is speaking, Ruff hasn’t actually let loose. The steamy yellow liquid is still swirling around inside the bulging dog-bladder, and only a small amount has leaked out. That’s why it’s still tasteful.

The joke is that Dennis is so immature he doesn’t realise that dogs can pee anywhere, not just at hydrants. Adults are smart enough to understand that canine urine can be poured out anywhere on the ground without people minding too much. Hence, Dad’s look of exasperation at the immaturity of his son. That immaturity, had it been mirrored in the mind of his father, could delay the release of the dog-piddle, thus increasing the risk of stinking, sodden car-seats. But this is still potential — which is why the cartoon cannot fairly be faulted, despite the explicit references to dog urine.
Baka Gaijin
July 6th, 2008 at 5:47 am [Reply]

*** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ***
DO NOT READ SUNDAY’S MARY WORTH!!!

FDA testing has shown Sunday’s Mary Worth
to cause autoevisceration. 99% of readers
reflexively spewed their internal organs out
of their anuses as a defensive mechanism
against the threat that is Sunday’s Mary Worth.
Lord-z
July 6th, 2008 at 5:57 am [Reply]

The comedy strips all have their very own reactionshots, on how to react to people around them. Funky has the smirk, Garfield has the eyes half closed “you believe this guy”/”I don’t believe this” and Shoe has the wide-eyed horror over minor things. I would like to see the Shoe characters react with the look of horror to something that is actually horrible, like “I have killed 12 people and you are next”, not “I have had 12 sodas and I need to use the restroom, please”.
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

#88 Rainbird – Edison is supposed some sort of bastard hybrid of Oliver from Bloom County and Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes; needless to say, a hack like John Hambrock has a snowball’s chance in Hell of making it work, and fails at even that. Which ripoff is dominant varies from day to day; Saturday’s strip was basically stolen whole cloth from one or two old C&H strips.
AeroSquid
July 6th, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Pluggers like to recreate Alfred Hitchcock movie scenes.

Foob: And no one notices the free floating fabric on the wedding dress of the dead ?

GA: No Nina, you can’t die in car accidents and revel in the sweet embrace of eternity. GA characters are way too robust. Oh look ! Here comes Walt in his new backhoe and it looks like he’s heading for a farmer’s market !

FW: This looks like the opening scene of a gay porno. Ummmm….so I’ve heard. My GIRLFRIEND was curious ! *SOB*
gleeb
July 6th, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Dick: Sgt. Markey, besides being a lip-reader, desperately wants Shirl Locke to notice his ass.

For Better or for Worse: Grandma always wore that apron because, unlike sinful neighbor Connie, she knew her place was in the house, making a home for her family.

Curtis: Billingsley, that iconoclast, shows us the clergy getting fat off the hard-earned food of the flock.

‘bean: The state trooper, recognizing the kind of stale humor only still used in Cancerdeathville, uses his discretion, helping other motorists by sending this disaster-in-waiting home as quickly as possible.

Zippy: Uh, Griffy, you’ve already stated that Dingburg is west of Baltimore. West of Baltimore is inland; there’s no shore. If you can’t even keep you own crap straight…
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Okay, okay. Clam down, everybody! (But why would you spray bleach on your clams?)

# 80 bats :[ – And there’s even an Episode 2!

# 85 – Thank you, Bobbaloo! I’m taking that clam-shaped ball and running with it. By the end of the day my family will hate you. Okay not you. Me. That’s okay. I’ll just tell them to clam down. Again. And then I’ll hide the cutlery.

I know, I was warned. I was warned repeatedly to NOT read the Sunday Foob. But would I listen? (In my best John Belushi voice) NOOoooooo!!

So Grampa Keane, Not Me and Ida Know have apparently been joined by their new friend WhatThe Hell?! Seriously, what the hell?!

RMMD – “I am not stressed, but I sure wish I could calm down. That’s kinda hard when you keep yelling at me about the goddam clams!!

MT – Better hide the TV dinners and the frozen pot pies, Martha. There’s a Swanson’s Hawk out there.

MW – YES!! Intervention. His old friend Johnny. (On the rocks, ’cause Jeff’s a classy guy.) Wait here, Jeff. I’ll go get the car keys.

“Interventions, show excitement (Hey!) or emotion (Ouch!)…”

Phantom – “Clam down. You’ve been positively identified.”

SFx – Love that frog!

FW – That cop’s moon walking his way back to his car. Sadly, in his mind he’s hearing the Weird Al parody.

JP – “Mythical” law firm? Do their clients include unicorns? Are they suing the hell out of Brooke McEldowney? Now there’s justice I can fight for! Where’s my comically large pipe wrench?
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Hey, Dr. Jeff. Leave Mary Worth another pathetic voice mail, but this time ask her if you can “clam down” with her at the “Bum Boat.” You just might be surprised.

Hey, Mary Worth. Here’s a platitude for you. I’ve heard it said, “Clam down, bitch!” (Okay, I added the “bitch” part.)

What’s on the menu at the Bum Boat? Well, there’s clam, egg and clam, egg bacon and clam, and a Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate and brandy with a fried egg on top and clam.

“Clam, clam, clam, clam, lovely clam! Wonderful clam!”
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

It’s homework correction time in the comics!
Withh all humility and respect, I see that in My Cage, Norm’s poem says “dept” instead of “debt.”

Re: FW for the last couple of days (excepting today’s), why is Les sitting with angry Tony? I thought Les was the one who was supposed to travel for biz this time, not Funky, who is either on the road agaIn, or dead from a massive MI. Or cancer. Or pizza poisoning.
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Clam pizza!
Barbequed clams!
And for dessert, clam ice cream and clamsicles!
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

…And I can’t even spell “with.”

*shuffles away with tail between legs, to be corrected by Elly Patterfoob and The Biddy*
AeroSquid
July 6th, 2008 at 11:14 am [Reply]

102. Calico I thought for a moment that ‘dept’ was the standard abrv for ‘Department’. Alas…no. The spellcheques are not werking tooday.
AeroSquid
July 6th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Those of of from the Seattle area know how to ‘CLAM DOWN’ & ‘KEEP CLAM’ !

http://bp2.blogger.com/_d2Nh9tzMm_I/Rd87XGaNFSI/AAAAAAAAAFc/gmX22JyVWbE/s1600-h/Keep+Clam.jpg
odinthor
July 6th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#100. JCF. — A mythical law firm is one which deals with mythical laws. For instance, like just last night: “Well, Gretchen, in these here parts, we have a law that, if I take you out to a show tonight, you have to . . . ” [ . . . er . . . wait a minute . . . are there kids in the audience? . . . dang . . . ok, sigh:] ” . . . you have to read me Mary Worth in the morning.” Should one of these mythical laws be broken, one’s mythical law firm attorney brings suit, and a lot of time is spent in nonsense and twaddle in the courtroom—just like with real laws!

FW. — Daring exposé exhibiting the corrupt inequities in the American system of justice in which an officer can be bribed by a bon mot to refrain from applying the full majesty of the Law to an offender. Either that or it’s about an imminent j/o scene in the bushes.

RMMD. — “Max, dear—are you talking about [snort] some sort of cleaning supplies? To me? Really, dear—if you want to discuss that sort of thing, you’d need to speak to Mrs. Peabody, who’s off today. Oh, no—now Justin is phoning his therapist because you spoke sharply to him. He’ll be needing his pills again, I’m sure. And remember: I have my Association meeting tonight. We’re going to consider whether to have a dress code for the community lawn service workers. Whatever is going on, dear, it will just have to wait.”

MW. — Gaaah! The word “stupid” is not applicable to “male pride.” There is a law in these here parts that the only adjectives which may be applied to “male pride” are words such as “admirable,” “ennobling,” and “sexy.” Please keep that in mind, Jeff, or we may have to revoke your membership in the Guyz Klub.
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

# 107 re; Funky – Maybe the cop let him go because he had only violated one of those mythical laws.

Hey kids, remember Nicole Kidman in “Dead Clam?” Yeah, me neither. Well, then, how about that scene toward the end of Animal House where Kevin Bacon tells everybody to “remain clam!” and then he gets trampled? Ah, good times.
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

The comments have sure slowed down. Must be the clam before the storm.

Okay, I’ll stop.
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Is a Clamdown sorta like a Playdown? With Old Man Clambake?

Or did wifey really mean Calm down, and once again the grammar and spelling dept. have a stack overflow or sumpin’?

My head hurts.
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

#109 “Shit, dude, it’s raining clams!”

(Props to “Magnolia” and “South Park”)
Shoshi
July 6th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

102 Calico–My husband was asking me the same thing about Les not being in NY, and I have no clue. I thought I must have somehow missed an intervening strip or two that had Funky going to NY, after all. Does anyone know?

(BTW, I figure that Crankshaft and FW both had the NY story line so that Batiuk can write off a vacation, Dave Barry style.)
Mooncattie
July 6th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Stand by, Phoenix, and roll over Rex Morgan…it’s time for the Judge Parker Big Gay Golf Game! Of course, this will be right up Sam Driver’s alley, depending on just how avid a hacker Dewey Cheatham is with his putter.
Sam, please, please bring Abby along for the trip! She can hang out by the pool while you boys go at it hole-to-hole!

Golfing in Phoenix in July/August? Sheesh!
Niall
July 6th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Sunday JP: NO! NO NO NO NO!!! You do NOT fuck with us this way, Wilson! My brain, teh stupid it buuuurns!
Josh
July 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

#59 Retrovirus — Belive it or not, there is another guy named Josh Fruhlinger. He’s a few years older than me and launched a Web magazine in the mid-90s before there really was such a thing. Now he blogs for Endgadget, among other AOL blogs. We’ve never met in person, but we have exchanged emails a few times, the first time when I was in college and my girlfriend thought I was selling her bike behind her back on the Internet (turns out the other Josh Fruhlinger had the same model and was unloading it on a mountain biking newsgroup).

Josh
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

# 83 Soshi — Thank you. Now I will hope that Rufus is being dragged completely out of the strip.
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Foob — MONDAY SPOILER — Characters: current Patterson family. Theme: Liz as Bridezilla. My reaction: backing away as rapidly as possible with crossed index fingers held in front of me. Sister and brother Foobloatharians, we’re plunging back into the maelstrom.
Calico
July 6th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#117 – Don’t forget the garlic and candlesticks (for a bigger cross).

JP – I dunno about a lawyer named “Cheatham.”
If you know what I mean.
Uncle Lumpy
July 6th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

#113 Mooncattie –

…it’s time for the Judge Parker Big Gay Golf Game! Of course, this will be right up Sam Driver’s alley…

Unspeakable filth!
P
July 6th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

FC: Couldn’t Bil Keane AT LEAST put something saying, “In response to reader’s requests, this strip from 198X is being reprinted”?
Gojira
July 6th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

MW: Well, a few threads back, someone mentioned Colonel Bogey’s March and the “One Ball” lyrics, so:

Jeff Cory…has got no balls,
Mary’s…left him none at all,
The meddler…has left him neutered,
Why won’t she return his calls?

(Sorry)
Red Greenback
July 6th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Judge “Dredd” Parker: Y’know, I’ve seen a lot of stupid shit go down in this strip, and it has been like the car crash scenario where one has to slow down on the off chance to view some carnage. Even if it devolves into “jokes” on the links about “drivers”, I’ll still tune in unless it sinks lower where they’ll be playing golf with a guy whos last name is Irons and another whos name is Chip Wedge. That is when, IMHO, this strip has jumped the shark (or water hazard, if you will) and I’m burning my Judge Parker decoder ring! …Oh, who am I kidding! Judge, you had me at “Work it like a claw, and call me Randy!”
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

100. John C. Fremont re Slylock Fox: you mean the young artist’s frog? Yeah, I liked that a lot, too! I don’t know how it is with kids today (Get off my lawn!), but if there’d been a strip like this when I was a kid, and I got my drawing in the paper, I would’ve died a happy 6-year-old!

re MW: wonderful Schoolhouse Rock memory…

FOOB: was I not paying attention the first time around, or did the Patterfoobs have to invest (you know, hard Canadian cash) in more fabric for Liz’s dress? I don’t remember that much gauzy material involved in the original one, and that butt pad and flourishes seem pretty extravagant…

RMMD: too much fun and/or free time…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2642269305/sizes/o/
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I didn’t listen to anyone’s advice. I looked at Sunday’s FOOB.
All that work on moldy, rotten fabric, those big looping panniers, that huge set of butt bows, the spaghetti straps .. . ugh. No wonder Grandma Marian came back from the dead. She was spinning in her grave. Coulda bought that schmata on sale from David’s Bridal for less work and money.

Meanwhile, Vera Wang continues to sleep well at night.
Nurse with a penis
July 6th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

#109 John C Fremont….

Several years ago I saw a cartoon titled “typos illustrated” with a clam on a beach with an impending storm clouds. it was subtitled “the clam before the storm” I’ve never been able to find it again.
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

125. Nurse: I googled “clam before storm” and found three cartoons of clams and storms (it makes it a lot easier when you tell the helpful computer “no, I DIDN’T mean “calm before storm”…not too many hits). None of them look particularly professional to the point that they might’ve been published on a wide-scale, but there are a lot of poor cartoonists (i.e., those with limited drawing skills) out there.
Red Greenback
July 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Rex: What Janice McAmbulancechaser really means when she says: The “Calm before the storm”
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

Baldo – Well, I can’t see anything wrong with this, except the part where your hands are the one body part you are forbidden to hit a soccer ball with whereas they are the only body part you are allowed to use with a basketball and therefore this strip makes no sense at all cripes I don’t even play either one and I knew that. Other than that, no problem!

BB – I can’t wait for the part where Beetle snaps and shoots up Camp Swampy. The fact that the entire camp has never once been deployed in the history of the strip should mean he’ll have an easy time of it; hell, we’ve already seen that the “guards” do no such thing.

Crankshaft – burn them ed burn them burn them burn them ALL

FC – Are we sure that “the more I love the more love I’m given to love with” isn’t actually just code for “every time I make love to your father, I wind up with another one of you melon-headed freaks?”

FG – Wow, and here I thought the kinky side of tentacle monsters was reserved for the seedier sci-fi publications, but I’m not seeing any other way to interpret that chick’s expression in panel one than, “oh my God, look at that thing!”

FOOB – God, even the dead can’t escape the crushing grasp of the Pattersons.

FW – While I appreciate the novelty of seeing people actually smile in Funky Winkerbean, it would be nice if I could figure out what the hell was going on.

JP – I can’t believe it either, Sam. Sometimes, like with the brownie storyline, I think Woody Wilson is purposefully doing this to see what our reactions will be. Well, Mr. Wilson, I say “thumbs up!”

MF – It’s amazing that I can hate this strip so much even when I agree with it and it’s stating its points in a relatively competent manner.

MT – I love that little chipmunk in the big panel. Just staring down, realizing that he may as well accept his fate and get it over with because he’d never survive the drop. (Although actually, it’s possible he might, but I dunno, maybe he doesn’t know that or something.)

MW – Man, Jeff, you are pathetic.

Opus – Remember back when Breathed was actually funny?

Pibgorn – Um, you know, for a brief few strips there I almost thought I had a handle on what was going on in this strip, and then we went and took another random turn into somewhere else. Argh.

Pickles – “More fun than a barrel of mummies” is a fantastic phrase I fully intend to work into conversation whenever possible.

PV – Holy crap Prince Valiant and his wife just had make-up sex!

RMMD – “No, I am not changing colors! I don’t care what it sounds like over the phone!”

SFx – It’s the little touches that really make this strip, like today’s picture of Slylock used as a dart board.

SM – Oh, you poor naive Vulture, thinking that Spider-Man is actually interested in fighting crime. You really must have been out of the loop for a while.

Zits – Okay, yeah, the joke is kind of stale, but I do like the sheer hyperbole on display today.
TheDiva
July 6th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Ugh. If Liz wants to go to her wedding looking like an unmade bed, she didn’t need to butcher a vintage gown. There are plenty of modern fashions that would have sufficed, to wit:

http://uglyweddingdress.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/st-pucchi-001.PNG
http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1996_6618354
Dicky
July 6th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Blondie: What is the joke of this? I read it without the throwaway panels in the paper and didn’t understand it at all. I reread it online with the throwaway panels and it still doesn’t make sense.
Is it that Dagwood’s old college buddy can only show affection in misanthropic ways? But then what does the joke at the end mean? Is there even a joke to it? And what favor will Blondie call in to pay this debt? A little catering with Lupton and wife, perhaps?

Sally Forth: I love the throwaway panel.
However, Tonka trucks are great, or at least they used to be when they made them of metal. I still have a relatively large dump truck and a smaller backhoe-dozer combination from my youth. Such fun…
corinthian
July 6th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Garfield looking straight on toward the reader before. It’s kind of… soul-renderingly creepy
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

129. TheDiva: aww, the second one isn’t so bad. Well, maybe it is, but I’m comparing it to the first one aka, “Hello, I’m wearing my head in a bag and all the linens that’ll be in the honeymoon suite.”

128. commodorejohn: ack! Val and Aleta sex, and I don’t have a link! Again I say, Ack!
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

Ah, found it. Whew!
http://timesunion.com/comics/index.asp?feature_id=Prince_Valiant&feature_date=2008-04-20
Plasma
July 6th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

Speaking of distasteful: today’s Beakman & Jax seems to have been just an excuse for them to draw thirty small, multi-coloured vulvas.
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

# 124 Islamorada Girl — So how do you now feel about a butt bow for your own Foob wedding attire? I seem to recall that it was an option for the dress you selected. My own dress is hideous enough without a butt bow, though I’m tempted to add one as an homage.

And incidently, how the hell does a bride sit down while wearing a giant set of butt bows? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real bride wear one, or if I did, my brain mercifully erased the memory.
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

FC — I have to admit that for the first time in years, I howled with laughter at FC. No wonder Mommy Keane feels so full of love — her eyes show she’s crocked to the gills.
Zaq
July 6th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

I haven’t been posting here enough (Finally got a job, which leaves me with insufficient energy a lot of the time to read all the comments and post… and it’s not the kind of job where I have access to a computer, so yeah. Of course, the job’s DONE now, because it’s just temp work, but yeah. End ramble.), so let’s take a look at some Sunday goodies!

Garfield: For a strip whose punchline is a sight gag, this is awfully minimalist up until then. Someone could probably make something of that, if they were so inclined.
Luann: Huh. I can’t quite tell if this is a nod to criticisms like ours or not. Either way, it’s kind of clumsy… though I wouldn’t mind if this were an actual storyline, and not just a Sunday once-off.
Foob: I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said better, but add my voice to the chorus of condemnation.
Prince Valiant: Wow, an entire strip about Val and Whatsherface having make-up sex for hours. Classy. At least they’re not dancing around the concept!
Doctor Sweetie: Froth and rage all you want, Max, but bleaching the mats won’t get rid of the MRSA growing in your filthy nostrils! Mwahahaha!
FoxTrot: See, this is how you do a text-messaging joke and have it be more than just “ha ha the kids, they type on their phones! Isn’t that wacky?”
PBS: Decent Who’s On First riff, though it’s a little awkward to read. I got the joke immediately, but I had to read it again before it scanned properly in my mind. Maybe it’s just me.
Dicky
July 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Luann: No, Luann! You don’t live where Ruthie does where your clothing is what determines the bathroom in which you excrete!

A&J: I don’t understand her justification or even much of her annoyance. Apparently, I am relatively befuddled by much of the comics page today.
Mary Kay Commando
July 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Well, it’s finally happened. With today’s installment, FBoFW has lost my mother, who awoke me this morning just to show me that FC-worthy last panel.

And I was going to rage about the hideousness of the revamped dress, but then I looked back in the archives to see what it looked like before, and not so much.The ass swag seems to be original. I prefer the sweetheart neckline to the spaghetti straps (as would all grandmothers I know), but the droopy see-through sleeves? Ick.

Also: hi, everybody!
SpiffBereft
July 6th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

DtM: I think we can safely assume Dennis has already urinated in the back seat and is just setting up Ruff to take the blame. Judging by their expressions we can also assume his parents were not fooled for a second, which raises the question: Which one of the backseat riders will be riding back alone from this impromptu drive into the deep woods?
Anonymous
July 6th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

#90 bats:[

FOOB: Well, Grandma Marion isn’t really there, helping with the wedding dress, because she’s doing the dirty with Grandpa Keane…

Perhaps in Heaven, elder gentlemen don’t need Viagra, but hop about nimbly, erectionally functional.
Shoshi
July 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

130 Dickey — The idea is that Dag’s old buddy is a real jerk who was difficult for Blondie to put up with and still be her sweet, unruffled self. Judging by Dagwood’s expression in the final panel, the favor she will call in is sexual in nature. Like she wants to do it with him.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 6th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Hey, #141 was me! My damned cookies crumbled!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 6th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

#130 Dicky: The throwaway panel is awesome. Even better if I imagine the Girl in the Coffee Cup burning up on reentry. Not that I’m a bitter hater or anything.
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

135: Sister Poteet: FOOB just doesn’t get it. The giant butt bows are supposed to go on the bridesmaids, one more thing to ensure their dresses are more hideous than the bride’s. Of course, with
Liz’ s Patterson hips and butt, concealment is de rigeur.

Anyway, it’s a gagifying strip, except maybe Grandma Marian came back from the dead with that caul of death to carry Liz back to hell with her. A girl can hope.
Uncle Lumpy
July 6th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

#137 Zaq —

Do you read Sunday Luann online? Where?

Hey, welcome back! Glad to hear that annoying work is finally over!
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

# 145 — Esteemed Islamorada Girl, thanks for the bridesmaid info, which makes sense. And I agree with you about the (snork) caul.

Almost as nauseating as the dress are Liz’s I-SO-Love-Myself facial expressions, especially in the silent panels. It’s gonna take some serious single-malt to get me through this event.
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

# 143 Spotted H0rse — Dead Gwampa Keane hopping nimbly about with an erection bobbing in front of him whenever his white corded robe flaps open?? Arrrrgh! Brain bleach! Brain bleach!
Uncle Lumpy
July 6th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

#148 Poteet –

Of course! That’s how the heavenly angels schwing.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

#148 Poteet, #149 UL: Hahahahaha! It is to laugh.
Mooncattie
July 6th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#146 Uncle Lumpy – This should help:
http://www.comics.com/comics/luann/

#119 Uncle Lumpy – Not my fault! I’m not the one that thought putting sandtraps in golf was a good idea! *shudder*
Mooncattie
July 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#90 bats:[ – I think if Grandma Marion was really there, she’d be howling “Jezebel! Fornicator!”…and that’s just her take on Iris…
Mooncattie
July 6th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Oh Lizardbreath, you may look like a princess today with your dancing hair and your lovely bare shoulders! But just look what you’re headed for! Just a few short years and your hair will be pinched up into an unnatural tight bun, to be followed eventually by the rest of your face. How long before Anthony is known as The Cute One?!
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

# 123 bats :[ – Yup, that’s the frog. It’s adorable! I can’t draw that well now, much less when I was that young. And that episode of Count Morgu was one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week.

# 127 – “Clam before the Strom.” Brilliant, Red!

Hey Josh, can we have a Photoshop of the Week?

139 – Hi, Mary Kay!
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

#144 Spotted HØrse – “The Girl In The Coffee Cup” – why is she called that, anyway? I’ve been following that strip for nigh onto a year now, and I’ve yet to see Pib at anything other than an average height for the twenty-something woman she resembles, nor has any reference been made to any size-changing ability of hers. IT’S FALSE ADVERTISING, THAT’S WHAT IT IS!
dreadedcandiru2
July 6th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: What kills me about this whole thing is that Liz is blissed out because she’s marrying a man with no future. When Gordo has to start firing people now that people are being priced out of driving hovercars, it seems clear to me that he’ll shitcan the wuss accountant who lives in his old house, John and Elly Patterson’s pleadings on his behalf be damned. Since all he’s got as a CA from Community College and one entry on his resume, he’s boned through the ear.
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

# 125 Nurse – Sounds kind of like something Kliban might have done. I’ve got to find that. I have a feeling I’m going to be spending way too much time using The Google on that series of tubes tonight.
Norm
July 6th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

FOOB: That’s a wedding dress? Could have sworn it was a large diaper. Oh, I see… those are Butt Bows. How erm, pretty. Liz, you look just like your mother… minus the mushroom nose. Oh I’ll bet you age well, just like her. Get ready to pop out babies for handsome, responsible Anthony, who has been so good with your family and has helped them in business. What a fine gentleman to have courting you.
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

#156 dreadedcandiru2 – I dunno, man. If there’s one thing you don’t do in Milborough, it’s cross the Pattersons. You’d be safer pissing in the Godfather’s lasagna.
Cedar
July 6th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Could someone tell me what the answer to Sunday’s Slylock Fox is?
Uncle Lumpy
July 6th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

#160 Cedar –

Solution — Ice floats in water. The fake ice is resting at the bottom of the glass.
Greenbrastic
July 6th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

FOOB: It looks like Grandma’s ghost is desperately trying to smother Lizardbreath. She can’t stand seeing her wedding dress being used to marry the pathetic Mustache.
Kiesha
July 6th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

FOOB: What Liz doesn’t know in that opening panel is that Elly has cut a hole through the fabric and is busily investigating her daughter’s ‘honor’.
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

!47: Sister Poeet: I can’t wait for the bridezilla’ing to start. And the single malt. We’re gonna need it.
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

153. Mooncattie: I don’t why Liz doesn’t have her hair up NOW, keeping it out of the way while all the alterations and pinning is going on — that’s just what a seamstress doesn’t have to contend with!
Oh, wait, we’re talking about Dee and Elly. Screw ‘em.
(Asshathony will NEVER be The Cute One. There are no Cute Ones. There are only the Plump Ones, the Dumpy Ones, the Potato-Nosed Ones, and the Fat-Assed Ones. Maybe Francie, but she’s not a true Patterson.)

If you’d like, I’d nominate you as The Cute One, Mooncattie. :)
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

155. commodorejohn: when Geoffrey first met Pibgorn, she was fairy-sized and almost frozen on his doormat. He helped her recover by letting her soak in a cup of tea (I think it was tea rather than coffee, but nonetheless, the remaining liquid probably has the fairy equivalent of MRSA in it).
Shoshi
July 6th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

165 — I second the motion.
Shoshi
July 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

I mean nomination.
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

#163 Kiesha – The only thing squickier than that sentence is how frighteningly believable it is.

#166 bats :[ – Huh. I suppose the thing I ought to do is go back to the start of the strip, but that would require spending a lot more time on goComics’s slow, bloated site than I really feel like doing right now.
Poteet
July 6th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

RMMD — Looks like we’re headed for Showdown at the MRSA Mats. I hope Demented Dad is armed and has good aim. June would make an interesting widow.
bats :[
July 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

169. commodorejohn: I got mr. bats :[ the Pibgorn book for Christmas a couple of years ago, but I read the first 30 strips before the series was kicked off comics.com for nekkidness.
I really ought to subscribe, because I do like the strip and the stories flow a lot better when you don’t have to wait for a strip every other day (and Brooke doesn’t seem to feel the need to put out collections, for whatever dumbass reason), but gocomics.com has revamped its format: you’re right about the bloat and slowness of the site now (even worse than before).
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

#171 bats :[ – Hmm. A preliminary test reveals that goComics doesn’t block hotlinkers; I might have a go at putting together a viewer script like I did for Prince Valiant.
Mooncattie
July 6th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

#165 bats:[ and #167 Shoshi – gwarsh!

But don’t forget the HOO! Ones! Or One.
Jnoble
July 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: Bill Keane called, he wants his “long dead grandparents creepy ghosts doing things with the living” idea back. Now.
Jnoble
July 6th, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

FC: This made me gag. Literally.
Batman Beatles
July 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

Foob – I actually picture Grandma Marion crashing the wedding like the butcher’s wife in Fiddler On The Roof.
Mr. O'Malley
July 6th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

For the first time in the current millennium, I found Cathy amusing today.
riffraff, midwest
March 16th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Tell me…are you people for real? Jesus Christ on a stick…you actually frequent a web site to complain about cartoons?

Here’s an idea; see if you can download a life.
darrick
March 20th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

It will go wrong, Roz

MacNelly has no skills!!
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